MATURE: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

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Thread: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

  1. #1
    A cute little robot girl. Satoshi-kun's Avatar Social Media Deputy Coordinator
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    Default Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    I could probably get away with a Teen rating on this one, but I'm not taking my chances.

    This story contains naughty things. You have been warned.

    Pikachu's Golden Shower

    Pikachu, poor Pikachu. Why does everything rotten in the world seem to happen to him. Fighting, day after day, fighting to save his idiot owner Ash's honor in countless Pokemon battle. Battle after battle, day after day, on and on it goes, the story of Pikachu's life continues in the same way. Sometimes the Pokemon are weak, and sometimes they are strong. Sometimes Pikachu can hold his own, and sometimes he gets his poor little fuzzy yellow ass kicked. Such is the life of a Pikachu, and such is the way that the life of a Pikachu will continue.

    After one particular day of the same old, the same old fights, the same old worry, the same old riding around on Ash's shoulder, feeling lust for Ash, feeling thankful that Ash feels nothing for whatever generic girl is travelling with him on his journey, Pikachu finally gets to rest. Generic girls, they come and go. Sometimes they have red hair and suspenders, sometimes they have big tits and annoying little brothers. Sometimes they are named after dish soap, and sometimes they have wild hair. No matter who or what they are, Ash never shows any affection for them, nor will he ever, it's not Ash's thing, nor will it ever be. The same old, the same old, nothing changes. Unfortunately for Pikachu, Ash's affection for him never changes either.

    On a generic evening, like most evenings, most likely either spent resting in a Pokemon center or resting in a tent in a random generic forest (off the beaten path of a random generic route, only known by numbers, dots, numbers, connect the dots, paint by numbers), Ash and company (including generic female companion who is unimportant and thus shall not be named) takes a rest for the evening. This evening's generic rest is by fireside, in a tent, on the side of the afore mentoned random generic route. On top of the fire, a campfire surrounded by rocks (and several fainted Geodudes), like any generic campfire, sits a boiling pot of dinner. "Food," says the can that lay open by the fireside, its contents emptied into the pot and bubbling as its boiling point is reached.

    "Ahh, what a tiring day, Pikachu," says Ash, looking at his furry electric friend. "I'm glad that we ditched our random clingy female companion and random annoying male womanizer. We're going to have ourselves a wonderful evening, full of fun and card games!" Ash gave Pikachu a pat on the head, and a scratch behind the ears, which made Pikachu happy. Pikachu seized this moment to wander off into the bushes, to take care of the business that one needs to take care of after eating. The same business that is never seen by most viewers of the random television animated series that stars the Pikachu that you are currently reading about (as well as his idiotic trainer, who you will read more about in the paragraph that follows this one).

    While Pikachu was taking care of his business, Ash suddenly felt the urge to relieve himself as well. He walked over to a random bush (the same random bush that Pikachu was hiding in) and he took out his ekans out of his pants and started to let go with a stream of liquid. Unfortunately, for both Ash and Pikachu, the stream hit Pikachu on the top of his head, thus agitating the Pokemon. Pikachu, not knowing that Ash was right behind him, and not knowing that the stream of liquid hitting his head was that from Ash, immediately sent a jolt of electricity out of his body. This jolt of electricity travelled up Ash's stream of random liquid and electrified his body. The strength of the electrical jolt caused Ash to pass out.

    Later on, Ash awoke. Ash discovered that the random female companion, as well as the random male womanizing travelling companion had found him. As Ash opened his eyes, both members of his party started to giggle. After they had their giggling fit under control, they started singing...

    "DON'T WHIZ ON THE ELECTRIC MOUSE!"

    Pikachu blushed with embarrassment.

    The end.

    I apologize to any Ren and Stimpy fans who read this.
    Last edited by Satoshi-kun; 18th April 2012 at 03:14 PM.
    Pride likes this.

  2. #2
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    I would love to see this animated.
    Gama likes this.

  3. #3
    Seriously, I'm a guy. Kaustic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    I would love to see this reenacted.

    I'm not going to lie, I was scared when I first saw the title and Mature rating at how far down the rabbit hole this was going to go. I'm relieved it was a humorous tale, and not a sexual one. XD

  4. #4
    A cute little robot girl. Satoshi-kun's Avatar Social Media Deputy Coordinator
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaustic View Post
    I'm relieved it was a humorous tale, and not a sexual one. XD
    Me too, Kaustic, me too. In the 10-20 generic minutes that it took to write this thing, I was constantly saying to myself, "please don't get too bad, please don't get too bad."

  5. #5
    Seriously, I'm a guy. Kaustic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    Quote Originally Posted by Satoshi-kun View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaustic View Post
    I'm relieved it was a humorous tale, and not a sexual one. XD
    Me too, Kaustic, me too. In the 10-20 generic minutes that it took to write this thing, I was constantly saying to myself, "please don't get too bad, please don't get too bad."
    Had it turned out that way, I would've had to wonder if R. Kelley was secretly into Pokemon and writing fanfic.
    Pride likes this.

  6. #6
    A cute little robot girl. Satoshi-kun's Avatar Social Media Deputy Coordinator
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaustic View Post
    Had it turned out that way, I would've had to wonder if R. Kelley was secretly into Pokemon and writing fanfic.
    No, that one would be titled "I'm Gonna Piss On You, Pikachu."

  7. #7
    Seriously, I'm a guy. Kaustic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    Quote Originally Posted by Satoshi-kun View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaustic View Post
    Had it turned out that way, I would've had to wonder if R. Kelley was secretly into Pokemon and writing fanfic.
    No, that one would be titled "I'm Gonna Piss On You, Pikachu."
    Do it.

    The final part of the trilogy could be "I Pissed On a Pikachu (And I Liked It)".

  8. #8
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    You've outdone yourself! Better than the original!

  9. #9
    The First Homunculus Pride's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    This is really good. And funny. Nice work!

  10. #10
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    Haha, I saw the title and was like... :O

    But oddly enough, the title made me open the fic (don't know what that says about me XD)

    Great stuff!

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    I died laughing.

    Great job, love the narration.

  12. #12
    My life is forbidden Serenity's Avatar Administrator
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    Default Re: Pikachu's Golden Shower (or how I write a generic story)

    This is great! Especially the ending. XD

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