TEEN: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

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  1. #1
    ☆ ☆ ☆ Cariad's Avatar
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    Default Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Other Side Of The Bone
    Chapter 1 - The Key To Humanity


    I smelt it before I saw it. The big room with the doors really DID have something inside it. And when I knew what it was, I went crazy. It was a giant humanity machine. That could turn animals into humans.

    Flamez
    The room was barren. By barren, I mean totally empty. All it took was one step inside and bam, the door was shut. Damn. I cursed to myself. Those damned guards shut me in. Should've known they weren't letting me see Dee... I looked around the room, scanning everything. It was just grey and white. Thats all us dogs can see. We see no colour. So, it was rather bland. I sniffed the air. Big mistake. THIS ROOM SMELLS LIKE...OLD PEOPLE. I thought. For the record, I don't like that smell one bit.
    I sat down in the furthest corner of the room, settling down and sighing to myself. How did we get here? One second, me, my owner, and her other two dogs were walking down the lane peacefully. Next second, we've been snatched up, seperated, and stuck in these lame rooms. Annoying. And the championship of the Agility Trials were today aswell. It would've been my 7th time winning the crown. I'm a smart dog, even if I do say so myself. I know enough tricks to last a life time, and i'm strong, fast, and reliable. Oh wait, isn't the word loyal a better word to use?
    Suddenly, I felt the ground shake around me. I looked up. The light attatched to the cieling was shaking.
    CRAP! Whats going on!? I barked. No answer. Not that I was expecting one.
    Then it came. A giant "Bweeeeeeem" and a massive flash of light. I could see it from the tiny window on the door.
    And then there was the scream. Something was screaming. It was a dogs scream. But something wasn't right. Its like the scream was becoming a human scream. Like the creatures bones were bending....
    Last edited by Cariad; 17th June 2011 at 02:15 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Oh my.... Very well done, Moll. :D

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    ☆ ☆ ☆ Cariad's Avatar
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Heh. Thanks! Its not my best work. Second part of chapter 1 coming soon!

  4. #4
    Registered Trainer Pokemon Trainer Calvin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Good start. Although I noticed one grammar error: you spelled 'totally' wrong. Other than that, nice job.
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Yeah, I noticed that error too.

    Also, for future reference, don't get "You're" and "Your" confused. I know you do it alot, so just a heads-up.

  6. #6
    ☆ ☆ ☆ Cariad's Avatar
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Oh fleeb. Thanks guys. And i'll keep that in mind.

  7. #7
    ☆ ☆ ☆ Cariad's Avatar
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Eek! Double post!
    Part 2 Of Chapter 1
    I had to escape. Had to find that poor creature. I could see the tiny window on my door was my only way out. But..its so tiny! I thought. There was only one option. I ran to the back of the room, gritting my teeth and spinning around. With a huge bark, I charged foward and burst through the window of the door, a mixture of my blood and glass spreading on both the outside coridoor and my room. I spread out my front paws and turned my head to the side to try and soften my collison with the wall. Crap! This hurts like hell! I barked. Then it hit me. I was free. But, I could still here the scream. But that scream had turned into painful tears. I looked around, just to see that the coridoor was completely empty. I pricked my ears towards the sound of the tears. It was to the right of the coridoor, where I could make out a huge door, which seemed to cover all of the wall of that end of the coridoor. It smelt wooden. I gave my flank a quick lick before charging towards the door, my paws batting the floor loudly. I jumped, slamming into the door with all the force I had. Seventh time Agility Trail champion power. I felt the doors crash under my weight, and I hit the floor on the other side with a heavy thump. Ouch... I whimpered. Then, I looked up. What I saw horrified me. It was a enourmous, evil looking machine, and it was spilling a yellow beam of light towards something on the middle of the floor, which appeared to be crying. The noise was terrifying. It was a hundred times worse than the noise from earlier. It was ear piercing, and I flattened my ears to my head to try and block it out. And then, as if by magic, it stopped, leaving only a tricle of yellow beam on the middle of the floor. I could clearly see what was there now. A human sat there. Looking deppressed, and was crying. But I reconigsed her. But the last time I saw her, she was DEFINETLY NOT a human....
    Last edited by Cariad; 17th June 2011 at 02:15 PM.

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    Registered Trainer Pokemon Trainer Calvin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Good. Oh, one more thing, in this section, as long as there's at least three hours in between, you can post several times in a row.
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    ☆ ☆ ☆ Cariad's Avatar
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Quote Originally Posted by Gym Leader Calvin View Post
    Good. Oh, one more thing, in this section, as long as there's at least three hours in between, you can post several times in a row.
    Thanks! Oh. I had no idea. XD

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu) (Chapter 2 Up)

    Chapter 2
    Life As We Know It


    Dot
    The first thing I saw was explosions of different colours. I could see everything that I coudln't see before. But for the first time in my life, I didn't want to.
    The tears that fell around my face were wet, sloppy, and cold. I'd seen my owner-Dee-cry before, but actually crying made me feel sick to the stomach.
    I put my hands to my face. They were no longer fluffy, strong and small, but long, strange and smooth. I tried to whimper, but a strange, human like noise came instead.
    I felt my rows of teeth with my hand. They were no longer sharp, dangerous and unique, but blunt, small and harmless.
    Luckily, my tounge stayed the same. However, that was before I tried to walk.
    I stretched out my long, smooth, feminine legs, and gasped in horror. They had no fur! I stretched my legs up and saw my feet. They were small, as usual. But they had some sort of black things on them. Had Dee called them shoes?
    Then, I put a hand towards my flank. It wasn't furry, but nor was it bare. It had some sort of black human fur on it, that stretched from my shoulders down to my thighs, where it spread out a little. It was being held on to my shoulders by straps, which joined to the rest of it just above my chest.
    Then, I stretched a wary hand to my hair. "Ohhhh.." I sighed, once again sounding awfully human. It was thin, wiry, and fell around my face, ending just above the end of my neck. I gulped.
    I didn't want to feel my eyes. I tried to get up, slowly, but heard a familar growl behind me, and span around.
    It was Flamez. He lived with me and my owner, along with another dog. He had that familar brave, proud look, and was barking loudly at two men who were trying to grab him.
    But I couldn't understand what he was saying.
    His barking made no sense. I wanted to scream out to him, as I knew who could understand some human words. I took a breath.
    "F-f-f-f-arrff!" I struggled. N-no! I can't speak! I thought.
    Flamez look at me, his expression unreadable, his barking stopping. He reconigsed me.
    "Oi! You! Get back in your cell! We ain't ready for ya' quite yet!" The man to his left said in a cockney accent. Flamez growled, biting into the mans right arm. He said a word that should never be repeated, and collapsed to the floor, cradling his right arm as the blood poured out.
    "K-Kane? You alright mate?" Said the other with a Australian accent, dodging Flamez as he jumped towards his throat.
    "DO I LOOK OKAY?" The other man-Kane-shouted. "GET THAT DOG DANNY! NOW!"
    Danny nodded, grabbing Flamez from behind and squishing his tummy so that he made painful gasping noises.
    "GOTCHA!"
    I tried to get up again, but I simply tripped over, landing face first, and making blood come out of my nose. "O-ow..." I mumbled.
    I looked up to see Flamez looking back at me, his ice blue eyes sad and wary. And just like that, they carried him away.
    "N-no!" I shouted. I could talk! But they just laughed at me. An evil, wicked laugh, and left the room.
    I was alone.
    But I didn't want to be alone. I looked around, and saw my reflection in a mirror. I gasped.
    My short, choppy black hair was pulled behind my ears, and the blood that trickled down my nose had spread to my lip. My cheeks were blotchy from crying. I heard a man enter the room. I saw him in the mirror before he spoke.
    "Ahem. You are Dot, yes?" He asked, in a bland, bored voice. He was a tall man, with short brunette hair, hazel eyes, and geeky glasses that filled his face. He was wearing a doctors uniform, and holding a clipboard.
    I nodded.
    "Good. A EX-Shiba Inu?" He asked again.
    I shook my head.
    "I-I am d-dog." I mumbled.
    "No. You were dog. Now, you are a human."
    I gasped, my hands moving to my face in horror.
    "We needed this. Its the experiment that will finally prove that us scienists who research humanity should get more credit." He smirked after saying this. "Take her to the eating area. Treat her as a guest, men." He said to the men standing by his side.
    And then he left, shutting a small grey door behind him.

  11. #11
    User #50,000 Mr Metagross's Avatar
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    These chapters are a little short...
    Look, I make music! Yay!

  12. #12
    ☆ ☆ ☆ Cariad's Avatar
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Metagross View Post
    These chapters are a little short...
    I'm not a fan of long, winding chapters. Like many of my faveourite authors, I like to keep them short and snappy.

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    User #50,000 Mr Metagross's Avatar
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Pokemoll~ View Post
    I'm not a fan of long, winding chapters. Like many of my faveourite authors, I like to keep them short and snappy.
    And who, may I ask, are your favourite authors?

    My favourite is either Christopher Paolini (wrote the Inheritance Cycle) and J.R.R. Tolkien (wrote the Lord of the Rings Trilogy). They both, especially the latter, produce many thick chapters. The Fellowship of the Ring has only sixteen chapters in the whole thing; and it is a rather thick book.

    Judging by your Warrior Cats fanfiction, those authors (going by the pen name of "Hunt") would be on the list. My sister, who is ten, absolutely loves those books.

    Frankly I don't understand the concept. It's a little too "fairies" for me.
    Look, I make music! Yay!

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Maggie Striefvater.

  15. #15
    User #50,000 Mr Metagross's Avatar
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    Default Re: Other Side Of The Bone (SuBuWriMu)

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Pokemoll~ View Post
    Maggie Striefvater.
    What did she write? I've never heard of her.
    Look, I make music! Yay!

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