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  1. #16
    Christmas Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Opelucid In Flames (Chapter 4)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsutarja View Post
    Also, could you explain to me that whole money/debt business - how does that work? I didn't get it.
    Well, she's pretty poor. :X Her family are in debt and since Vierra decided to have her father borrow money from Black City men, she's put them in more debt and possible danger.

    Overall, it was one solid chapter. Though I've never heard of Stun Powder or Rage Powder, haha.
    Stun Powder is a mix of Sleep Powder and Stun Spore made up by yours truly, but Rage Powder is indeed real and was introduced in the 5th Gen games.

    I get it, she was disowned for her mistake and then she did a much bigger mistake? I don't know, it doesn't feel right to me.

    Not to mention that no one in their right mind would trust one single word of that horrific Team Plasma.
    Vierra's just sad like that I suppose, a divergence from the whole "even though I'm weak now, if I just try my best, I'll eventually get stronger". n_n Not sure how to answer your question. TP just made her an offer, wasn't too hard for them to trick a teenage girl. :P


    Solid chapter, but it felt rushed at some points. Anyway, keep it up! :D
    Thanks, what point(s) specifically did it feel rushed? ^^
    Last edited by Bubble Frog; 22nd May 2012 at 03:05 PM.

  2. #17
    Registered User Chiplet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Opelucid In Flames (Chapter 4)

    Read through all of your chapters just recently, and enjoyed everyone of them quite a lot!

    The latest chapter was my favourite one, even though I can't say that I'm too fond of Vierra. As Tsutarja said, she was really selfish, and her actions were really awful, but I guess you can't blame her considering how she's been having it.

    The way you're handling Iris I really love. You're really taking it slow and developming her in a realistic pace, which makes it even more interesting to read about her as she acts. It's just excellent.

    I think you've made Drayden quite an interesting character too, his personality really feels close to the one he has in-games, so I'm pleased.

    I'm not really the guy to comment on grammar or stuff like that since I'm not really that good at it myself, but overall, awesome chapers, and a very interesting fic!
    ''A single thread in a tapestry though its color brightly shine, can never see its purpose, in the pattern of the grand design.''

  3. #18
    Future Seeker HumanDawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Opelucid In Flames (Chapter 4)

    I have read all of your chapters this last hour! I'm liking how this fic is developing. It has a lot of intelligence with topics regarding family disownment, nature, animal violence, society in the past and economic city development. Lots of interesting and complex stuff!

    My main gripe with this is Iris knowing English. What? Do dragons have public schools? I hope that her backstory is expanded. I don't know, make it so that she learned English before being with dragons. I don't want this to be Tarzan all over again.

  4. #19
    Future Seeker HumanDawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Opelucid In Flames (Chapter 4)

    I have read all of your chapters this last hour! I'm liking how this fic is developing. It has a lot of intelligence with topics regarding family disownment, nature, animal violence, society in the past and economic city development. Lots of interesting and complex stuff!

    My main gripe with this is Iris knowing English. What? Do dragons have public schools? I hope that her backstory is expanded. I don't know, make it so that she learned English before being with dragons. I don't want this to be Tarzan all over again.

    I'm looking forward to the next chapter! Good luck!

  5. #20
    Christmas Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Opelucid In Flames (Chapter 4)

    Quote Originally Posted by Chiplet View Post
    Read through all of your chapters just recently, and enjoyed everyone of them quite a lot!

    The latest chapter was my favourite one, even though I can't say that I'm too fond of Vierra. As Tsutarja said, she was really selfish, and her actions were really awful, but I guess you can't blame her considering how she's been having it.

    The way you're handling Iris I really love. You're really taking it slow and developming her in a realistic pace, which makes it even more interesting to read about her as she acts. It's just excellent.

    I think you've made Drayden quite an interesting character too, his personality really feels close to the one he has in-games, so I'm pleased.
    I'm glad you're enjoying it as well as my handling of Iris and growth in her character as well as Drayden. Haha, I'm not too surprised many are having this reaction to Vierra and her actions. It's really nice and interesting to get some feedback on how people feel regarding her character. Vierra came from a poor background and her motives for doing what she did were selfish true, but she mainly did it because she didn't want to be a failure and wanted to be a true fire-specialist and I guess the offer from TP was too tempting for her to pass up. XD Thank you for the character feedback, I really appreciate it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Human View Post
    My main gripe with this is Iris knowing English. What? Do dragons have public schools? I hope that her backstory is expanded. I don't know, make it so that she learned English before being with dragons. I don't want this to be Tarzan all over again.
    Actually Iris isn't completely isolated from human contact, in the first chapter she's seen hanging around Opelucid and she's often been hanging around Opelucid City so it's a bit understandable she can understand humans in that aspect I guess, Tarzan was completely isolated from humans his whole life so I can see why it might be jarring. But, thanks for the input I actually have something planned out for the raised by Dragons part XD


    I'm looking forward to the next chapter! Good luck!
    Would you like to be tagged for the next chapter when it's released?


    Thank you both for those comments, I really appreciate them.

  6. #21
    It wasn't much! Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Opelucid In Flames (Chapter 4)

    Well that chapter was long. One thing that irked me is the fact that you switched scenes a lot. While they helped by working as a breather for the length I felt that you were switcing way too fast, Clay's parts for example could've been done all in one go rather than having to stop with what was happening to Iris.

    I really liked how you showed Vierra's backstory, I didn't think she'll be so obsessed with Pokemon that had potential. Your battles were pretty good, but I think that they move a little bit too quickly; or at least in this chapter they did.

    I like how Team Plasma is actually going to play a big role here and the fact that Iris will also present a roll in it, it kind of expands on what was going on in the games.

  7. #22
    Christmas Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - How to Train Your Dragon-type (Chapter 5)

    A/N:This chapter right here, if it wasn't obvious from the title, is where Iris finally does some serious training with Drayden, also we see the guy's house for the first time, hopefully I did it justice. This chapter ain't nearly as long as the last chapter, just under/over 6000 words, didn't take nearly as long to get done as I thought, though that's probably because I'm on Summer Break. I've taken a lot of the criticism I've gotten from you guys and I've worked with it, especially the pacing, description, word variation, POV switching, and grammar and I appreciate that. Also, I went back and did a mass clean up of Chapter 1, I'll be doing the same for the rest of the chapters in due time, thank you for pointing out the grammatical errors. I hope you guys enjoy, as always any and all criticism, comments, reviews, and/or critique is appreciated. If you wanna be on my mention list or removed, :P just ask.

    @Chiplet; @Human;

    Chapter 5 How to Train Your Dragon-type


    Iris walked down the slightly burned street alongside the fatherly Drayden, after the incident that had taken place a few days ago they had both taken some time to relax. Clay had left Opelucid, finishing his business but would be back soon for the trial. Looker had left with Clay as well discussing important matters with the Ground-type specialist. Iris naturally left her Druddigon at the Pokemon Center for some much needed healing after suffering the full force of a combined Heatwave and Overheat from Vierra's Fire-type Pokemon, not to mention taking quite a bit of damage from various other assaults, but she was joined by another familiar young Dragon, an adoring Axew. Drayden took the time to help get the city back up to snuff after the minor fire damage that was dealt to it, not only that but also to train Iris and take more gym challenges, but right now he had other things to attend to.

    "So what does your house look like?" Iris asked as it occurred to her she had never actually seen Drayden's home, always for some reason assuming the Opelucid Gym to be his shelter.

    "Axew," the Pokemon added.

    "Why don't you wait and see rather than ask?" Drayden said to the child, she didn't know what to expect. As a young girl who would often spend her nights sleeping in the wild alongside her Druddigon she wasn't exactly one to know the decor and style of homes enough to even guess what Drayden's taste would be. It might be hard for Iris to adjust if she would have to live in Drayden's residence but, she would try to not complain too much since the very same man had helped her numerous times out of the goodness of his own heart, not only that, he would help her become stronger and help her in her goal of becoming the aspiring co-Gym Leader of Opelucid alongside him. If there's one thing for sure she hypothesized, it was that his house wouldn't be anything too extravagant.

    "When will we make it? How far is your house?" Iris complained slightly.

    "It's a bit far away, just near the far end of the city."

    Despite Iris's prediction about the home of Drayden not being too expensive, Iris was proven wrong when both of them came upon the rather nicely sized residence, the lawn looked to be freshly cut and healthy, giving off the aroma the young girl often only associated from an abundance of Grass-type Pokemon. Lite by the clear blue sky it was something elegant, sporting a clear stone path right to the doorstep.

    "What a pretty yard," the girl took a whiff of the grass. "It smells and reminds me just like a lot of areas in the forest."

    "Ax," the Axe Tusk Pokemon nodded in agreement. Drayden took a look at the lawn and looked at Iris and Axew.

    "The Pokemon always did prefer the lawn's smell, not to mention many of the adults in my family liked seeing lawn grass cut freshly when I was a young boy, just the same as they liked seeing my siblings and I being well kept and neat, something I never really did too much of," The Spartan Mayor's words were truer then ever, he couldn't always be concerned with being tidy given how much physical labor he endured as a child.

    Iris looked at the house itself, it pretty much confirmed her previous speculation about the Spartan Mayor not living in anything too extravagant or upper crust. She, Axew, and the man walked toward the home, Drayden took out his keys and proceeded to unlock the home as they all walked in, Iris's previous thoughts were however shattered. Iris peered into the serpent like hallway, the carpet simply looked soft and heavy duty, the walls were adorned by few things, including family photos from the past evenly spaced between. As Iris kept going down the hallway she passed several small side tables. As Drayden and Iris neared the end of the hallway they took to the right and entered the kitchen, the biggest thing that stood out to Iris immediately was the rather nicely sized crystalline chandelier that floated on top of Drayden's kitchen roof.

    "Let's get something to eat," Drayden stated as he walked toward the kitchen. The flooring certainly didn't look cheap at all as it was simply clean, clear, and beautiful being made out of marble itself. The kitchen also had a clean air about it that felt welcoming even the dishes looked to be very expensive as a lot of them looked to be fine china. It almost seemed too extravagant for someone like Drayden. Iris and Axew fell silent as they just looked on, not responding to Drayden's previous statement. "Iris," he snapped her and Axew back into reality.

    "Your house is so big and beautiful," Iris didn't hesitate to immediately show her amazement at the structure as Axew remained silent, "It didn't look that big when you first walk in."

    "It really isn't anything special, simply something to live in," Drayden said plainly as he walked over to the large technological energy efficient refrigerator and took out a pack of sliced, what looked to be, turkey meat.

    "I mean, I had no idea. I thought it wouldn't be this big and luxurious," The girl continued to marvel at the house.

    "I personally didn't decorate or have much to do with this house myself, members of my family did the decorating and picking it out for me. I've never been one to care too much for looks or put too much attention to things in that regard," he said as he took out two medium sized plates and a stainless steel skillet. Drayden sat the meat on the well-fixed table that Iris had taken a seat at, after getting a few pieces out out of the pack, he walked over to the stove and turned it to medium as he let the skillet sit on the top of the warm stove with the pieces of meat on it slightly sizzling.


    "So, do any of your family live here?" Iris changed up the conversation.

    "Not here in Opelucid," Drayden explained as he flipped the sizzling meat.

    "Cheeemun, interesting must get lonely," Iris said with her mouth full, causing Drayden to turn his head to find the precocious Dragon-type specialist with a piece of uncooked turkey meat in her hand, she had eaten away at the meat and popped the last piece in her mouth. Drayden was in a bit of an astonishment at her not having a problem eating raw meat.

    "Guess that's to be expected from someone who was raised by Dragons," Drayden thought.

    "What about you?" Drayden asked. "Being taken care of by Dragons and all."

    "I don't know, I've never really felt too lonely because Dragons have always been my family," Iris explained. "I've never really had parents, at least I never knew them too well," Iris said looking confidently toward Drayden. "You're kinda like someone I would picture as being sort of like a father."

    "Thank you, but I haven't any children," Drayden said as he looked at Iris while turning off the stove and placing the cooked turkey pieces on dual slices of bread on the plates, he then went and got two cups and proceeded to grab some Oran Juice from the fridge and fill the cups. He walked over and sat the plate and juice near Iris. He poured Axew a Pokemon bowl of pellet looking objects and some Oran Juice, sitting them down in front of the Dragon. Iris curiously looked at the cup of juice picking it up and taking a sip. Her eyes lite up.

    "Wow this is good! It's like Oran Berries only liquid!" Iris said in happiness.

    "Well, it's Oran Juice. It always was my brother's, Deed's, favorite type of juice as a child," Drayden said as he put on his best smile at the young girl's happiness over the simple liquid. He looked down at Axew sipping it also and saw the same results in the Dragon's eyes. Iris and Axew thunderously gobbled down the food that was once present in front of them. Drayden couldn't help be happy at both of their healthy appetites. "Still hungry?"

    "Not much but a little bit," Iris said embarrassed as Axew followed her lead. Drayden went and got two cones from the cabinet and grabbed a pint of ice cream, filling both with a sizable amount of the frozen desert as he handed one to Iris and one to Axew.

    "Casteliacones were another one of my siblings' favorites, of course these aren't the same but they're quite similar," Axew and Iris touched the desert with their tongues sheepishly and went mad, quickly licking away the ice cream in hyper speed, Axew even started eating the waffle cone, Iris saw this and copied the young Dragon and it ended with them both looking satisfied and full. "Now that that's out of the way, I have to talk to you about something important," the Spartan Mayor said taking on a serious tone.

    "In about twelve or ten days there is going to be a meeting, a meeting of which some important figures will talk, it's about all the current matters going on in Unova. I'm going to take this time to talk about you and introduce you to some important people and discuss the idea of you officially becoming a gym leader," Drayden said.

    "Aren't I already a gym leader though, sorta?" Iris asked ignorantly.

    "I hope you weren't serious with that question," Drayden said roughly. "Not when you only have one Dragon-type Pokemon, one whom is afraid to battle larger opponents no less," Drayden said which elicited a small annoyance from the girl.

    "It's not Druddigon's fault," Iris was quick to come to the Cave Pokemon's defense.

    "I realize that, but I'm going to tell you now these people aren't going to be impressed with you with one Dragon-type Pokemon with decent strength and a bit of a handicap."

    "Well, I just don't know...." Iris said quietly. "I don't know how to overcome something like this or help my Pokemon overcome it, I've just decided that maybe this is something Druddigon needs to work out himself."

    "Druddigon is no longer your family," Drayden said in a voice many would associate with a respected father. "You're his trainer also Iris. It's completely irresponsible to expect a Pokemon to 'work it out himself', you take responsibility for you and your Pokemon's actions, that's an important rule as a gym leader. In the meantime I suggest you catch more Dragon-types," Drayden said as he gave a sharp look toward Axew, obviously he wasn't expecting the Pokemon to follow around Iris forever.

    "Axew!" The Pokemon jumped up and down shaking his head in approval.

    "Thank you so much Axew, we'll get stronger together," Iris reassured the Pokemon, Drayden handed Iris a Poke Ball as she pelted it toward Axew who was broken down to a red light and sapped inside, after a few wobbles the Poke Ball spat out a spring of light sparkles. Iris gingerly picked up the Poke Ball glad to have made the Axe Tusk Pokemon apart of her team.

    "In the meantime I think some training could do you some good," Drayden said as he finished off the last of his turkey sandwich and Oran Juice. "Let's head to the gym, I also have a few challengers scheduled for today."


    -----------------------------

    On the way to the gym Iris couldn't help but think about the events of that night, Team Plasma, Vierra, Druddigon, she couldn't shake the feeling of mystery behind it all, especially Team Plasma. Remembering how she had connected to Axew's heart, and was able to see the young Dragon's memories. That's never happened before with any Dragon. Was it because of the circumstances? What exactly did Team Plasma mean by their words? She decided in the meanwhile to pick Druddigon up from the Pokemon Center while she and Drayden made their way to the gym, she diverged from Drayden and made a beeline for the Pokemon Center. Noticing the ground was slightly charred near the entrance, reminding her of Team Plasma's handiwork.

    "Hello," She walked into the Pokemon made hospital nonchalantly.

    "Oh, Iris. Your Druddigon is in excellent condition," The pink-haired elegant nurse walked out with a tray of Poke Balls, the tray labeled "D-types".

    "I'm glad to know," Iris said as she was handed a Poke Ball. She gazed over toward the waiting area discovering a group of people with their eyes glued the TV screen. The sound was pumped up to a level that couldn't be ignored even by earplugs.

    "Dragon Breath!" the young woman ordered vibrantly as a serpent looking creature sent a magnificent blast of green fire energy at a big jawed blue and red Water-type. The Pokemon was hit directly by the speedy attack, almost being knocked off the platform as a result.

    "Into the water," Dragonair's long scaled body took into the large area of liquid.

    "You too, and use Ice Fang when you find Dragonair," the young challenger ordered his Pokemon.

    "Now that was just silly," Clair said. "Thunderbolt!" No one could see what was going on under water, but the water's surface coursed with electricity. Dragonair appeared at the surface of the water looking calm, elegant, and serene, the same could not be said for Croconaw as its electricity sizzling body floated to the top.

    "Battle over, the winner is the gym leader from Johto, Clair," the man announced as the young trainer returned his Croconaw to its Poke Ball.

    "Thank you, thank you," the woman thanked the many people who roared her name. Dragonair laced itself around the young woman happy about the win it earned.

    "So, Clair are you thinking about staying here in Unova a bit longer?" an interviewer asked.

    "I'm only here for business. These are just extra days."

    "Many are happy to have such a big time Gym Leader from Johto here in Unova, you and your Dragonair do seem to have a deep bond," the interviewer noted.

    "I've had this Dragonair for a long while, and if the Dragon's Den Challenge taught me anything, it's that the connection with my Dragon Pokemon is important and to never take them for granted and always understand them. It's one of the reasons that me and my Dragons are in sync so well, not only that but it did wonders for my training, strategies, and prowess as a Dragon specialist. A strong Dragon is nothing without a strong Dragon trainer beside them."

    "How much longer are you going to be here in Undella Bay?"

    "Undella Bay is beautiful and I wish I could stay longer, but I have to return to Johto in around a week or so. I really thank everyone who has been kind to me and my Pokemon during our stay, I'll be enjoying the last week here in a villa nearby,"

    "Well, everyone that wraps up an interview and battling session with Blackthorn Gym Leader, Clair."


    "How cool," Iris fawned over Clair. "Dragonair and Clair's bond is unmatched, not only that but she's so strong." Iris couldn't help to think back to Clair's words about being a strong trainer for your Dragon's sake and vice versa. Reminding her of Drayden's strong masculine figure and powerful persona. She took out Druddigon's Poke Ball and stared at it.

    "I haven't been very strong for Druddigon's sake, but there's still a lot of time to make good on that," Her motivation felt reignited by Clair's words. She also took a look at Axew's Poke Ball, she had two Dragons she had to train them hard and make them into true formidable Pokemon. She was going to accomplish it, it was one of her goals. Her promise to Drayden. She strutted out of the Pokemon Center and headed toward the Opelucid Gym.

    ---------------------


    The Opelucid Gym was always a home to powerful battles of Opelucid. Today was no different, with a challenger taking on Drayden. Drayden's Fraxure had substained quite a bit of damage already but so had the young challenger's Drilbur who only had a small advantage in speed. Many holes covered the battle field due to the constant digging by Fraxure and Drilbur.

    "Let's try to get it with one high power Dig!" Drilbur began to pummel away at the ground like a drill itself charging toward Fraxure underground.

    "Dragon Pulse," Drayden ordered as his Fraxure spat a blast of power and energy into one of the many holes which sent Drilbur flinging out of a nearby hole clearly unable to take more.

    "Nice job, I know when I've lost," The young man returned the Pokemon to it's Poke Ball. Drayden heard the sound of the gym's front door opening and saw Iris had finally made her way back from the Pokemon Center.

    "Iris, glad you could finally join us."

    "Sorry, sorry, I was just at the Pokemon Center a little longer than I thought," she said as she held out Druddigon's Poke Ball. "I'm ready to train!"

    "That's a good thing."

    "Drayden I'm heading out, thanks for the match," the young man said as he began to walk out the gym. "Oh, wait. I was told to give you this, special delivery from Undella Bay, Nurse Joy told me to drop it off to you since I was heading your direction," the boy cut back to Drayden and handed him an envelope. Drayden stuffed the message in his pocket, ignoring it for now as he was focused on Iris's current training.

    "Iris release your Axew," Drayden ordered. Iris tossed the sphere, Axew made an appearance, inspecting the new terrain and unfamiliar environment. "Now-" Drayden was cut off.

    "Drayden before we begin, can you tell me, what's the Dragon's Den Challenge?" Drayden raised an eyebrow at the seemingly random question.

    "The Dragon's Den Challenge, not sure why you would be interested in that but, it's a test administrated in the Johto Region for strong trainers. It can be mentally and physically draining but is something that is a right of passage for many young trainers, some trainers even earn the 'Rising Badge' for completing this challenge. The Dragon's Den is also home to many different species of Dragon-type Pokemon. It teaches many different things in-regard to Dragon-type Pokemon, understanding them, training them, and learning about them."

    "So, it's that important and hard?"

    "Yes, some have even died while trying to accomplish the Dragon's Den Challenge. It's nothing to joke around with. But, we should get started on some training," Drayden ended the conversation abruptly as he held out a frisbee. "Let's work on your aim, when I throw this give Axew the order to hit it at the right time with an attack."

    "Okay, you hear Axew?"

    "Ax," Drayden sent the disk sailing toward the roof of the large gym arena, Iris kept her eyes glued to the disk with Axew doing the same, watching it twirl and sore and just at a split second....

    "Dragon Rage!" Iris boomed as Axew shot a blast of rage charged energy at the flying object, however it simply missed and the frisbee came careening toward Axew, impacting on the Pokemon, causing Axew to rub the spot on it's forehead in discomfort.

    "See how important aim is? What if that had been an Aerial Ace?"

    "Again," Iris said wanting to get it right. Drayden once again repeated the process which elicited the same results as before. They kept repeating this for about thirty or so minutes until finally.

    "Dragon Rage, now!" Axew sent the temperamental blast upward as it crashed into the frisbee knocking it down to the earth.

    "We finally got it!" Iris and Axew celebrated.

    "Now work on doing that more consistently in the future, accuracy in battle can mean the difference between a win and a loss," The Spartan Mayor was happy to see that Axew was at least improving somewhat, it gave him something to look forward to in Iris's goal of becoming stronger. Now, he hoped he could do the same with Iris's other Pokemon. "Let out your Druddigon," Drayden demanded, Iris flung Druddigon's Poke Ball, clearly a bit more worried about the behemoth then Axew. The Pokemon entered the scene, his body looking to be in high spirits from the medical attention and healing he received from the Pokemon Center. Drayden wafted the frisbee once again.

    "When it gets close, get it with Dragon Claw!"

    "Druddi," the Pokemon replied as his claws took on a bluish-white glow. The frisbee came down toward Druddigon, who prematurely swiped, completely missing the disc. Iris shrugged and Druddigon sighed.

    "Let's go again!" Drayden drove the frisbee in the air once again.

    "Keep your eyes on it, try to sense where it's coming from," Iris coached the Cave Pokemon, the flying object danced in the sky, spinning and spinning gracefully and flying happily like an elegant Swanna.

    "Now! Dragon Claw!" The Druddigon tried to swat and punch at the disc clearly getting agitated as it evaded it's grasp and hit the floor.

    "More," Drayden told Iris.

    "Druddigon really hone in on it and pay attention to it. When it gets close hit it," The disc once again danced in the air gracefully. It hurtled toward Druddigon, whom focused it's eyes completely on it. Druddigon immediately sent a bluish slash toward the frisbee, the identified flying object avoided the attack however. It was almost as if it the frisbee was causing its actions on purpose, meanwhile Drayden was getting a good understanding of both Pokemon's skills, in-regard to accuracy mostly. Druddigon never did hit the frisbee, much to Iris's disappointment. The two took a break, getting clearly to irritable.

    "Don't get flustered, things like this take time," Drayden explained. "Let's give it one more go."

    "Okay, Druddigon! All your frustration and anger! Focus on that frisbee!" Iris yelled energetically. Druddigon looked at the frisbee as it sharply curved toward the Cave Pokemon. Taunting him, laughing at him. He was intent on hitting that pest. His arms became enveloped in a dark aura, the disc got and range and Druddigon gave a sharp punch to the frisbee, it broke in two pieces and hit the earth. Drayden picked up the halved frisbee in slight surprise.

    "Now, look at that. Sucker Punch," Drayden remarked.

    "Druddigon can use Sucker Punch?!" Iris yelled in happiness as she ran over to embrace her Dragon. "Vierra's Heatmor eh? Weird, you never trained with that Pokemon."

    "I take it as being more so that Druddigon learned Sucker Punch from being roughed up by Heatmor's own Sucker Punch, in a way Druddigon probably emulated that. Sucker Punch is quite useful for hitting an opponent before they hit you, works especially well for faster opponents. However it fails to work if your opponent doesn't attack at all, that's the downside to such a strong Dark-type move." Drayden explained. Iris continued to swoon over Druddigon as a door opening was heard.

    "Hey, I've come for my gym battle," A young woman walked into the gym. Iris and Drayden were a bit surprised to see what looked like a rookie challenging Drayden, one of the appointments Drayden scheduled for the day.

    "I take it this is your first gym?" Drayden asked.

    "Yep, my first one ever. Battling has quickly become a hobby of mine and I thought I might try my luck at a gym and this one was closest, so do you accept?"

    "You do know this gym is regarded as one of Unova's more challenging ones right?"

    "Is it a yes or no?" The young woman ignored Drayden's warning.

    "If you insist," Drayden began to grab a Poke Ball from his pocket, but paused and took a look at Iris. "Actually Iris, you should battle Ms...."

    "Carol," the girl announced her name.

    "Be sure to give her a challenging battle," Drayden thought it might as well be a chance for Iris to get to know what an actual gym battle is like hands on, so he simply put Iris up to challenging the obviously novice trainer, and it was a chance for some training for her Pokemon.

    "Okay the battle will be two on two. It starts now," Iris took her place opposite the field as Carol.

    "You're up, Cubchoo!" A small bear came forth out of Carol's Poke Ball, sitting on it's butt as it playfully looked at Iris with a rather large drop of mucus sticking out of it's nose. Despite it's cold look, it gave off a warm personality and demeanor.

    "Dragon-types are weak to Ice-types, be expected to face challengers with Pokemon strong to yours, it doesn't happen often due to there not being many Ice-types to be caught here in Unova, but either way expect it," Drayden lectured.

    "But, none of my Pokemon know any move that are any good against Ice-types," Iris said worried.

    "No matter, you'll simply have to do without."

    "Okay Druddigon," Iris looked toward the bulky Dragon as she wanted it to step up and battle, the Pokemon nervously stepped up to the plate. "It's much smaller, you can take it," Iris encouraged the Pokemon.

    "Let's try an Icy Wind!" Cubchoo puckered it's lips and blew a stream of steady cold wind toward the Cave Pokemon. Druddigon was struck by the stream of cold air, crossing his arms to fend of the attack to an extent.

    "Dragon Claw!" Druddigon easily ripped out of the way of the cold stream and made his way toward the infant ice bear, he brought his arm down in an attempt to swat the Cubchoo who at a split second evaded it, causing Druddigon to send his claw into the ground.

    "Icy Wind at close range!" The booger bear blew the same ice cold wind toward Druddigon's face, which caused him to take a few steps back in pain.

    "Ice Punch!" The Cubchoo's fist became surrounded by ice energy as it made a beeline for Druddigon.

    "Sucker Punch!" Druddigon's fist became enveloped in a black light as he raced toward Cubchoo and gave one powerful punch to the Cubchoo's chest, before the Ice Punch could hit its mark. The Pokemon obviously couldn't take much punishment since the one hit seemed to put it in a sense of fatigue. Meanwhile Druddigon was celebrating to an extent, still nervous but feeling confident in fighting such a smaller opponent, despite the disadvantage. Not to mention learning Sucker Punch prior.

    "Ice Punch, again!"

    "Sucker Punch!" Druddigon gave another unique beating to the Cubchoo as it hit the gym floor hard. Iris couldn't help but wonder why Carol would try such a thing twice when Druddigon easily came through the first time. Carol looked on clearly getting worried as a grin crossed her face, she wanted Iris to get comfy.

    "Get close and use Sucker Punch and wrap it up!"

    "Encore," The young woman's Cubchoo began to clap its hands happily as both of Cubchoo's white arms were surrounded by an orange like color, even whistling which slightly caused it's snot bubble to fly. Iris couldn't help but find Cubchoo to be cute as it cheered on her Druddigon in battle like that, she thought nothing of the attack much to Drayden's annoyance. Sucker Punch began to fail.

    "It didn't do anything anyway, finish it with Dragon Claw!" Druddigon charged toward Cubchoo, it's bared with the same dark aura as before.

    "Wait, that's Sucker Punch! I made a call for Dragon Claw!" Cubchoo and Carol both just looked, waiting to strike. Direct confrontation obviously wasn't going to win Carol the battle, so it took tricks. Druddigon finally made it's way to Cubchoo ready to crush the ice cub as Sucker Punch began to fade away.

    "Yawn!" The Cubchoo spat a small bubble at Druddigon. It floated nonchalantly in the air, and lightly made it's way to Druddigon's face popping on contact, causing Druddigon to go drowsy and pass-out like a light. Iris was dumbfounded a simple bubble seemed to put Druddigon in a state of unconsciousness, if Druddigon woke up she wasn't going to let her guard down against such an attack again, she saw no point in being wary of what she thought was a damaging attack, especially a weak looking one.

    "Wake up Druddigon!" Iris ordered futiley.

    "Hm...." Drayden watched. "Yawn has the ability to put an opponent to sleep, Encore forces an opponent to only use the same move it preformed last, but you probably already know that by now.

    "Tell me something I don't know," Iris muttered under her breath.

    "Ice Punch!" The Cubchoo ran up to the sleeping foe and began to punch him with it's icy fist over and over violently. Iris could only watch as her companion and first Pokemon was beaten to a pulp in it's sleep. "Make the last one a good one!" Carol yelled as the Pokemon sent a last critical punch into the Pokemon's chest which woke it up, too late though, as the ice then began to slowly spread and freeze the Dragon beast with ease, effectively taking it out of play as it couldn't continue.

    "Return!" Iris said as Druddigon was returned to his Poke Ball. "You did nicely Druddigon, you just got to battle like that against more bigger and stronger opponents like Haxorus."

    "So, if I beat your last Pokemon I win this gym's badge. My boyfriend's gift is coming in handy," Carol cheered as her Cubchoo cheered with it's snot bubble swaying back and forth.

    "Axew, your turn!" The Pokemon sprinted over toward the battle field taking Druddigon's place.

    "Okay Cubchoo, Yawn!" The same bubble was lightly spat at Axew's direction.

    "I'm not falling for that again! Dragon Rage!" The Pokemon's blast shot through the bubble bursting it.

    "Cubchoo, jump and dodge it!" Cubchoo took a leap upward dodging the blast in the knick of time, unknown to Carol thanks to Axew's training her Cubchoo's chances of getting away where little more then a pipe dream.

    "Follow it!" Iris ordered causing Axew to keep his eyes on the fleeing foe and moving his head up, Dragon Rage slammed into Cubchoo viciously. Cubchoo smacked the gym floor, as it had made it's last move.

    "Nice Axew!" Iris congratulated the Pokemon's relatively easy win over Cubchoo. Drayden was partially impressed at the Pokemon's improvement and strive, going so far as to take out Cubchoo like that. The gym challenge however wasn't over with Carol having one Pokemon left to utilize.

    "Okay! Pidove your up!" Carol boomed as a small bird came out of the Poke Ball and did a loop-a-loop after coming out. The most distinctive marking on the gray and black pigeon being its hard shape that sat on top of its chest. "I just caught this little guy, this is his first battle in fact," Drayden couldn't help but shake his head at the young woman's choices. Iris took one look at the bird and smirked.

    "Scratch!" Axew jumped up and attempted to claw the Pidove, it however flew out of the way.

    "Iris, Axew won't be hitting or catching a flying opponent with such a move at it's current skill," Drayden explained. "Remember the frisbee training?"

    "Okay, Dragon Rage!" Axew shot an angry blast of energy at the Pidove, the Dragon Rage strayed off course a bit and barely missed the Pidove. Carol took full advantage of this.

    "Quick Attack!" the Pidove was surrounded in a bright light and raced toward Axew slamming him in his chest and pushing him back.

    "Dragon Rage while it's close!" Iris ordered getting flustered.

    "Gust!" Carol ordered as the small pigeon's wings glowed light blue and began to flap hard whipping up a large blast of wind and dirt that sent the Dragon Rage off course. "Let's try to take it out with Quick Attack!" The Pidove flew into the sky once again.

    "Axew, really concentrate this time. Keep your eyes on Pidove. Focus," Pidove came charging down to Axew. "Dragon Rage!" Axew sent a blast railing toward the Pidove which surprisingly hit that time bringing the Flying-type down to the earth. "Cool! Now finish it with Scratch!" Axew ran up to the Pokemon and clawed away at it over and over and it simply couldn't take anymore, the newly caught was knocked out.

    "Oh, no I lost!" Carol said as she returned Pidove to it's Poke Ball.

    "Job well done Iris, not a bad showing for your first gym challenge," Drayden congratulated Iris.

    "How did I lose?" Carol muttered stubbornly as she began to leave the gym. Drayden didn't even want to say anything, clearly annoyed at someone who would attempt to face one of the most challenging gyms in Unova with a Pidove, a newly caught at that, knowing very well his Haxorus would have done away with Cubchoo and Pidove easily with no problem.

    "We were great," Iris said as she threw Druddigon's Poke Ball, causing the Pokemon to make another appearance.

    "Axew," the Dragon said to the dotting young girl, as she smiled back as well.

    "As I suspected they're a perfect match." Drayden thought to himself.

    "Druddi," the Pokemon said to Iris.

    "You did well too, but you should have been there to see Axew battling," Iris congratulated and informed Druddigon.

    "Iris doesn't exactly know how to use that Druddigon too well though. What a pity, he seemed like her best shot at making an impression at the meeting. This child's ability to read the hearts of Dragons may be appealing to them though, her battling skills and Pokemon do have quite a lot to be desired though. It doesn't help that Druddigon seems to be afraid to battle larger opponents, being caught inside a Poke Ball defiantly might have not helped the situation either,"
    Drayden was lost in his thoughts for a few moments until a familiar sound snapped him back into reality.

    "What's up next, Drayden?"

    "Hum?" He was slightly taken off guard. "That ends the training for today, you're free to do whatever you please until tonight."

    "Awesome, I'm gonna go hang around the city for a while. Be back later!" The young girl returned both Dragons to their respective Poke Balls and ran out the door.

    "Be home before nightfall," Drayden said with a bit of a strain in voice. "That child right there," Drayden sighed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the letter he received before. He proceeded to open the envelope and read the message aloud to himself, wondering what it was, he skimmed over the message summarizing it. "Drayden, you have to be in Undella Bay in a few days, it is important you come here to represent the Opelucid Pokemon Gym for this meeting. No exceptions, sincerely, the Pokemon League council."

    "Figures this would come up right when I have a meeting regarding Team Plasma in a few days," Drayden knew he had to be here in Opelucid for the upcoming court hearing regarding Team Plasma. It's something that couldn't be ignored, especially since this was going to be the official judgement regarding Team Plasma members that were captured during the invasion, it was his duty as a mayor to be there, it was his promise to his people of Opelucid. At the same time the Pokemon League seemed pretty stern in their ruling of Drayden being at Undella Bay for God knows whatever. The door of the gym soon swung open as Iris came in. "You were hardly gone," Drayden remarked.

    "I forgot a bit of the city is closed off due to repairs from the fires," Iris said slightly embarrassed at her forgetful behavior.

    An idea pinged Drayden's interest as he looked at Iris. "Iris, mind going on a business trip?" Drayden asked. Iris's eyes glowed with curiosity.

    "A trip?" she parroted back at Drayden.

    "Ever heard of Undella Bay?" Drayden said with a smile under his thick beard.
    Last edited by Bubble Frog; 22nd June 2012 at 08:47 PM.

  8. #23
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - How to Train Your Dragon-type (Chapter 5)

    This was a very good chapter. Descriptions of Drayden's house were pretty neat as you actually went for showing instead of simply telling. I'm also glad to see that Iris progressed while remaining flawed and childish at the same time - it shows that she's not perfect and that despite her, oh so special bond with Dragon types, she has a lot to learn and improve upon. Hmm, I'm wondering if we'll see Cynthia soon ...Anyway, like I said, very good chapter - keep it up!

  9. #24
    Clarion of Revelations Feliciano's Avatar Social Media Editor
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - How to Train Your Dragon-type (Chapter 5)

    ~ 3DS Friend Code: 5300-9399-4530~

    Heart of Crystal - a Crystal Nuzlocke challenge story
    "He had it comin'! He had it comin'! He only had himself to blame! If you'd've been there, if you'd've seen it, I bet you you would have done the same!"

  10. #25
    Christmas Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - How to Train Your Dragon-type (Chapter 5)

    Quote Originally Posted by Feliciano View Post
    The first chapter was a little rough, and at many times unclear. Right off the bat, I was wondering what was roaring in the first line. The second one, “The loud city exploded with calm excitement,” made absolutely no sense to me. How does something calmly explode? I was also unclear as to what exactly was happing in the first scene of the story. Is it supposed to be set in the present?
    Indeed it is, I'm sorry about it being so rough and unclear. The "calm excitement" is meant to be an oxymoron so to speak.

    Your dialogue seems a little forced as well. Instead of “I’m a child and I’m a girl!”, why not something like “I’m just a little girl, and I’m exhausted!”
    That does flow much better and looks less awkward, thanks for the suggestion.

    While it kind of works for Drayden (and even then, he seems to say everything in one breath and say damn a lot), with the other characters it sounds unnatural and makes the exposition all the more noticeable. Also, you don’t need to say “Grrrr” or “Ahhhh” – you can just say that the person grunted, growled, or screamed. Same goes for the pokemon cries – the Soutland could have barked, or the Haxorus roared, but typing out “Stoou!” or “HAXXXXXORUSSS!” simply seems odd.
    Thanks for pointing that out, I'll try that in the future.
    Finally, was the girl under the lamppost supposed to be Iris? I couldn’t tell if she was just an observer to the event or if she was the one who was supposed to be in danger.
    Yes, she is Iris. Drayden saved her.

    --
    I finally figured out that the italicized bits above the line divides are where the following scene is supposed to take place. I think those are a bit unnecessary – it should be clear from the descriptions where the scene is taking place. Your dialogue is still very rough. It sounds more like narration than actual dialogue, which makes the actions unclear at times. Other than that, no real issues with this chapter.
    Thank you for that critique regarding the italics.
    --
    You seem to be writing this as more of a script than a traditional narrative, which makes this a little more difficult than it has to be. Vierra is a bit interesting, but I had a really hard time believing that she was any sort of threat to Drayden at the end of the chapter when she attacked him. Really, this story is seeming to be more about Drayden – his struggles to reckon with the changes Opelucid City is going through, and how he’ll have to learn to become more flexible with how he deals with crisis and change. Dialogue still needs a lot of work.
    She didn't attack Drayden, she drugged him by having him drink lemonade that was poisoned :P I see what you mean when you say it seems more like a Drayden-ish story then an Iris one, but Drayden does have his points in the stories, but in the future it's mostly going to be all about Iris. The stuff he's doing is more just set-up fodder.
    --
    I felt like Vierra’s backstory could have been better interwoven with the actual narrative. At least have a proper flashback. As it stands, there is no way to tell initially that this is backstory isn’t part of the continuing story. Also, I didn’t quite understand why she’s working for Team Plasma now. Is it for money for her family? Either way, she’s kind of a bitch, which makes me sad because she uses my favorite type. Finally, I think this chapter was a little too long. It felt like you were trying to do a million things all at once, and as a result didn’t really do any of them justice. Fourth verse, same as the first with dialogue.
    Really? How so interwoven? She worked for Team Plasma for the rare Pokemon, the shortcut to power and success was just too tempting for her. It's stated quite a few times she's considered a failure due to her Pokemon not having "potential". Sorry about the length also.

    --
    There were some good descriptions in this chapter. The gym battle between Iris and Carol was, I think, the best battle scene yet. However, the pacing of the entire chapter still felt choppy, and the whole thing could be a lot smoother. Overall, while there are a lot of grammar mistakes and the dialogue feels unnatural, I think that you’ve got a pretty good start on this story.
    How did the pacing feel choppy and could have been smoother? I'm actually going back and cleaning up all the grammatical errors, I did that with Chapter 1 a while and plan to do the same with Chapters 2, 3, and 4. Thanks for the review.

  11. #26
    It wasn't much! Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - How to Train Your Dragon-type (Chapter 5)

    Well it's good to see some actual training being done for a change xD though I feel like there will be a rivalry between Axew and Druddigon later on, considering how Axew is shaping up to be Iris's new favorite and all. I honestly thought she was going to lose when she battled Carol; with Axew being a new Pokemon and Iris not knowing much about strategy but it was a nice twist on what I thought.

  12. #27
    Christmas Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Agent Whitlea, Case Closed! (Chapter 6)

    A/N: So, this chapter right here is where Iris finally departs on her journey to Undella Town. She also meets up with a certain character. We get some foreshadowing for a future plot line I have had planned for a long while. So, enjoy. This chapter didn't feel like it took long to write as the other chapters. But, then again I haven't really compared it previous chapters, but I seriously doubt it's as long as the last batch. It's a bit daunting to me that the chapter lengths are so...erratic. Hopefully you all enjoy what I brought to the table though. Also, I have a very interesting way to write an upcoming plot line involving the new character that ties in nicely with all the Team Plasma shenanigans and Dragon crap. Also, I've had quite a few comments and messages from people saying they enjoy my story, so that's always cool to hear. Comments, critique, criticism, and reviews are appreciated as always. I also did a clean up of the grammar in previous chapters, much appreciation to those who pointed those mistakes out. If you wanna be mentioned just ask.


    @Chiplet; @Human; @Soulmaster;

    Chapter 6 Agent Whitlea, Case Closed!



    "Ember!"

    Small flares of heat bursted angrily en route toward the Tusk Pokemon. Engaging in a fierce match of pure will, that Iris considered training, was a young man with a Darumaka. The hotheaded Pokemon couldn't have been anymore tense, facing off against Axew in a battle, and that showed with its red hot circular body dripping with sweat. The two Pokemon were on par with each other for the most part of the battle, though the young Dragon's fatigue from two other previous battles was getting to him, despite the fact Axew and Druddigon only battled in the morning and had a bit of a break since then, it now was noon. Even if they were fairly rookie trainers who unknowingly tried to do battle with one of the strongest gyms in Unova. Drayden couldn't be bothered with easily knocking out novice trainers, having other matters to attend to. Though it provided Iris with some nice experience, so he didn't complain and simply sent them her way.

    "Dodge it!" a vibrant command from the girl caused Axew to backpedal hastily as the fiery attack trailed the ground. The Tusk Pokemon naturally had become more accustomed to his new main battling environment, thus he navigated the aged terrain to the best of his ability. The Zen Charm Pokemon abruptly stopped its assault in an attempt to catch its breath, Iris took full advantage of this moment of rest. "Scratch!" the young Dragon used his speed, which Iris cherished so much, and made a beeline toward the recovering Darumaka, delivering a point blank slashing to his adversary.

    The trainer grunted at the Pokemon's evasive nature. "Catch it and smash it with Headbutt!" Iris nodded to Axew, determined to use her Pokemon's most honed asset with the best of her ability. The Tusk Pokemon squatted and waited for his opponent to get closer and closer.

    "Jump!" Iris ordered, the young Dragon bounded out of the way of the Fire-type. Not being able to stop itself in time, the Zen Charm Pokemon crashed into the bitter terrain of the field. Iris couldn't help but shudder at the collision.

    "Quit running away dammit!" the young man got frustrated. "Flamethrower!" Iris was too late to order her Pokemon to dodge, as he took the powerful blaze head-on. Iris watched in slight awe at such a powerful flame. She knew very well Axew was done for after one more attack, she had to end things then and there.

    "Okay, your Dragon Rage!" Axew's body pulsed with a powerful, translucent, lustrous, blue energy, the Tusk Pokemon slowly opened his mouth. An angry raging blast of draconic energy rushed toward the Zen Charm Pokemon, the boy was quick to react though.

    "Flamethrower!" Darumaka was expressive, blasting a vicious storm of mighty heat toward the Tusk Pokemon. The attacks continued to travel in unison, paralleling each other, and the violent magnificent blasts both struck their intended targets. Smoke enveloped the areas around each opponent, slowly but surely clearing as seconds passed. The smoke revealed both Pokemon barely on their toes, Axew wobbled back and forth like a Daruma doll. Gravity was the Zen Charm Pokemon's worst enemy, as it felt like the simple force was especially trying to bring it down. The fighters did their best to stay afloat and strong but with time, both Pokemon gave into exhaustion and smacked the field, it was a match of willpower but ultimately.

    "Axew cannot continue, the victor is Darumaka! Meaning the winner is Chase!" the referee shouted.

    "Return, Darumaka!" the young man said victoriously.

    "Nice job Axew, you're getting stronger everyday." Iris picked up the tired young hero after his hard work. She could only be satisfied with the budding Dragon-type's growth since they first met back in the forest. Axew smiled while being cradled by the young girl. Chase took this time to attempt to get what he came for.

    "You owe me a badge," he said smugly. Iris stared at him blankly.

    "Sorry, I can't give out badges," she smirked.

    "I challenged you for a badge! You are the gym leader of Opelucid, so you owe it to me for beating you!"

    "Well, it's not like that. You see, I'm just an apprentice. Drayden told me to battle you guys and to only move you on to him if you could win."

    "The hell?! Is this some type of joke? Nice job wasting my time!" the boy dug through his pocket and pulled out a small object. It was green and gave off a slight sparkle, three green ovals seemed to overlap each other. "You see? I'm no rookie, I have one badge!"

    "I'm not sure what to say," Iris said confused. "Clyde?" A man with sunglasses walked over, his crispy light blond hair slightly shined with sweat. Refereeing wasn't nearly as easy as it looked, at least in his opinion.

    "Yeah, sorry bud. Gyms and their leaders can make up any rules they want, if Drayden said you had to beat Iris to battle him. You gotta follow his rule like law," the experienced man was quick to enforce the conduct of Drayden that he had set on the challengers of the day.

    "Fine, where's Drayden?" Chase said defeated.

    "He's away and not taking anymore challengers for the day," Clyde explained. "You're free to come back though when he's here."

    The boy grunted. "Fine, I'll come back and beat Drayden." the boy started off toward the gym's doors.

    "Thanks, Clyde."

    "Don't mention it Iris, that's my job," he said kindly. Refereeing was something Clyde had learned to do exceptionally, it was also partly his responsibility to enforce the laws of each individual gym. He was a help toward Iris quite a bit since she started fighting opponents. "Did Drayden tell you where he was going specifically?"

    "Well, he said he was gonna take care of some business and grab some items for later."

    "Don't you have some business soon also?"

    Oh, yeah that's right. Iris had nearly forgotten she had to visit Undella Town, a beautiful summer retreat of sorts. Apparently a duty regarding the Opelucid Gym stated specifically to be attended by the Pokemon League Council themselves. Iris still didn't quite understand why Drayden didn't visit it himself if it was so important, but she wasn't complaining. It gave her some time to travel for a bit and do some Gym Leader business, which could only give her more experience, though she couldn't help but think how much of a drag it might be.

    "Yeah, I'll be leaving tomorrow."

    "Best of luck to ya, I'm heading home, lil' Dragon girl." Clyde made his way out of the gym's doors. Iris did the same, ready to take her Pokemon to the Pokemon Center for some much needed tender love and care after all the abuse they had taken that day.

    *************


    Drayden waited patiently in line, the Poke Mart's delivery man had finally made it back from Castelia City after the order he had made. After a long day in the office taking care of work, having to wait in line for his order was tedious as could be. But, he stayed calm and mature as always. Doubling as a Pokemon Center and Poke Mart, Opelcuid's Pokemon Center was always a buzz with many characters and people.

    "It finally arrived? The latest version, correct?" Drayden asked.

    "Yes, it came in a little later than usual." the fairly green-clothed delivery man handed Drayden a small brown package.

    "Good, the child can depart soon then," Drayden muttered under his breath. "This makes me feel better, with Team Plasma running around Unova." He began to walk away, until a voice drew his attention.

    "You'll be happy to know they're in good health," Nurse Joy handed Iris two Poke Balls.

    "Thank you," Iris took the metallic red and white balls in hand. "We've been through a long day of battles."

    "While training is nice, remember to not overdo it," the young elegant woman lectured things all adults said.

    "I promise I won't, I gotta go now though," Iris cut away from the woman.

    She began to walk away, however a melody was quick to steal her attention. A soothing fluffy noise was heard in a nearby corner, the only person who sat there was an older male dressed in rather casual inexpensive clothing, whose azure innocent eyes sat lazily on his face. Rings around them told a bit of a story, they told a calm tale but also had a remembrance about them. He kept his mouth on the harmonica, blowing into it with little force and moving it slowing which elicited a small change in sound and tone. Next to him flapping small cottony wings was a tiny bird, blue with two feather like hairs on her head. Her small beak when opened unleashed a fresh warm nostalgic song. The man continued to play and the small bird continued to sing.

    Iris stood there, she smiled warmly at the joyful noise being made by the unknowing performers. Taking in every little note of sound that gracefully flew out of the Swablu's mouth and the man's harmonica. It wasn't just music, it reminded her of something more.

    Her past.

    It reminded her how Dragons had changed her life. How she wasn't the same child from before, the young helpless girl from that place. That awful place, she could look forward to the future, because of people like Drayden as well as Dragons. It was her past, no one would know and in a way she would just prefer to keep it that way. She continued to listen in to the beautiful sound, closing her eyes and taking in each note, trying to get as much out of it as she could.

    "Harmonious, isn't it?" Drayden chimed in from behind Iris. She turned her head to find the Spartan Mayor standing, listening to it as well.

    "Sure is, 'cause it's so beautiful."

    "Well, Swablu are Pokemon known for their exceptional singing abilities. They evolve into a Dragon-type Pokemon, known as Altaria. It isn't very common in Unova though."

    "Altaria...." Iris smiled gleefully.

    "Yes, indeed. Many call Altaria 'Angels of the Dragons' because of their graceful appearances and soothing voices. They transverse the skies like angels themselves."

    "Yeah, plus they're big and fluffy," Iris described the Angelic Dragon, which caused Drayden to smile weakly at her innocence.

    "Well, we have to go now, I have something to give you, a gift," he walked away toward the exit of the Pokemon Center, Iris gave one last soulful glare toward the Swablu and man and took in their music once more before leaving also.

    The two headed back to the gym, both feeling refreshed and serene. They both went inside as Drayden unvealed his "gift".

    "Iris, you'll be traveling to Undella Town soon. I thought it would only be fitting you got one of these," Drayden opened the box and handed Iris a small watch-like device. The young girl looked at the item curiously before asking Drayden. "What is it?"

    "That's a 'Cross-Transceiver', you can use it for communicating and making calls. It didn't come cheap, so take care of it," Drayden explained. Iris took another stare at the red and black watch, she poked around with the device for a minute in order to get a feel for it.

    "Cool, thanks Drayden!" Iris jumped up ecstatically.

    "There's one feature in particular I want you to see," Drayden took the watch from Iris and pressed a few buttons.

    "Axew, the Tusk Pokemon. They're fairly rare Dragons throughout most of Unova, the first form of a three-stage evolutionary line. They aren't very strong from the very beginning, but can be made into extremely formidable Pokemon after quite a bit of training because, like all Dragons, they're a bit difficult to train. They also are known for their powerful tusk, which can be used to crush berries, mark territory, and scare away predators. They grow back fairly swiftly if they break and the repeated regrowth makes them very sharp and tough. Axew has a thick stomach and powerful internal energy that grows and generates with every bit of work and training it does, making it a strong opponent to be reckoned with.


    "Wow!" Iris fawned over the simple machine's information as well as the data on Axew. When Iris heard of the internal energy, the first thing that came to her mind was Drayden's Haxorus's Draco Meteor. She also thought about the idea of an Axew using its tusk to scare away anything and giggled.

    "Quite the useful item to have when you need information about certain Pokemon, though it mainly has data on Dragon Pokemon."

    "It is cool, so I'm gonna test it. Axew and Druddigon, come on out!" Iris tossed two Poke Balls.

    "Axew?"

    "Druddig?"

    "Okay! Axew! Use your tusk to scare away Druddigon!" Drayden couldn't help but look weirdly at Iris's order, but he observed closely and carefully. Axew walked up to Druddigon while puffing up his chest and showing off his tusk. Druddigon simply stared at the young Pokemon and shrugged while yawning. Axew continued to show off his muscles and tusk while trying to make an intimidating face, even roaring a few times the roars sounded like a newborn Lillipup's upset whine though. Druddigon looked at the much smaller Dragon and simply began to giggle. Drayden raised an eyebrow at both Pokemon. An annoyed Axew shot Druddigon a dirty look.

    "Uh, Axew, that's enoug..." Iris couldn't finish her sentence as Druddigon's laughing continued and Axew continued to look more and more temperamental. Axew hopped up to Druddigon's face and let out a horrific screech which snatched the Cave Pokemon's attention, the Tusk Pokemon gave off a bloodcurdling roar! An unnerving spine-chilling appearance replaced Axew's normal innocent image. Druddigon's laughing ceased and turned into a terrified shriek, Axew continued the wail and look on his face, his tusk almost seemed like butcher knives themselves to the other Dragon. Druddigon only had one way to escape his current situation. The Pokemon turned into a red light and retreated to his Poke Ball. Axew grinned, feeling achieved at scaring off the bigger Pokemon. Iris was puzzled.

    "Looks like a classic version of Scary Face if I every saw one."

    "Scary Face? It works on such bigger opponents? Wow!"

    "Axeeew." the Pokemon showed off his muscles again, proud about impressing Iris.

    "That's enough for now so return." Axew was broken down and forced back into his portable home.

    "I still can't get over how awesome that was," Iris repeated those words. Drayden ignored her swooning and attempted to move on to the next subject.

    "Well, now that you know how the Xtransceiver works, give it back to me. I'm going to update it with Undella Town's directions."

    "Uh...sure," Iris handed the piece of technology to Drayden with care.

    "That's just what I wanted to show you, you'll be leaving tomorrow morning."

    With that, Iris was all settled and set to begin her trek to Undella Town the next day. She and her adoring Pokemon, Axew and Druddigon were mixed with emotions for their first real gym leader business travel. But, Iris was at least optimistic toward what would happen the next day. With her backpack in hand, as well as her Pokemon, she began to bid a temporary farewell to her mentor and teacher at the Opelucid City exit that led to Route 11.

    "Are you ready?"

    "Yes, I can do it!" She was pumped. "You won't be disappointed!"

    "Iris, I have my reasons besides just sending you on an errand for giving this trip to you. I really believe that you traveling will help you become stronger, while you can do that here in Opelucid. I think traveling a little bit will help you understand just what hard work is."

    "Thank you for believing in me, I know I can get the job done. "

    "Well, with that. Your business trip begins now."

    "I'll do good Drayden!" Iris yelled as she ran down the path smiling and waving to Drayden. Drayden gave one last weak smile to the fleeing girl before reentering Opelucid City. Iris's excited running soon turned into steady striding as she paced down Route 11.

    **********


    Later that day, Iris continued her journey toward Undella Town. The blue wide sky stretched on an eternal path. The trees and grass being greener than ever, not to mention the wild Pokemon in the area all running around wildly, as Pokemon typically did. She took this opportunity to check her Xtransceiver for how much longer she had, not to mention scanning many wild Pokemon she passed by.

    "Okay," Iris muttered as she fondled the buttons on the watch, pulling up the map to Undella Town. "Uh....I think I'm on the right track. Wait, no. I should have passed by Village Bridge a while back, but...I'm in this forest area. So, that means I went around it when I should have gone through it? Or should I have gone around it?" Iris scratched her head. "Wait, I went north when I should have gone east? Or did I go west?" Iris got frustrated.

    "How did I get myself lost!" Iris boomed causing a small group of Pidove to flee from a nearby tree. "I can't call Drayden and say I'm lost already. That'd be too embarrassing, oh man," Iris grunted.

    A rumble in her stomach was a noise she was all too familiar with. "Plus, I'm starting to get hungry." Iris scanned the area around the trees. "Not one berry in sight either," she gabbed. The sound of a Poke Ball opening in Iris's pocket drew her attention away from her hungry stomach, if only for a second.

    "Axe," the Pokemon grumbled.

    "You too?" Iris asked sympathetically. "Well, we have some packed food in my backpack, but we're technically not suppose to eat it until dinner time." Axew growled hungrily as Iris did the same.

    "We've got other problems on our hands, we're lost." Iris whined. "We can't make it to Undella Town if we don't even know where we are or what direction to go. I didn't know reading a map would be that hard, it's my first time so please don't be mad at me getting us lost."

    Axew ignored Iris's setback, having other things on his mind or perhaps nose. His face was dragged to the ground, an aroma that only Axew could trace permeated the air. The Tusk Pokemon happily closed his eyes and followed his nose, making a steady jog, intent on finding the source of the delicious scent. Iris followed alongside him.

    "Wait, Axew?" Iris kept up with the Tusk Pokemon as he continued to move with admirable speed. "Where are you going?" Axew didn't speak simply following the joyfully fumed path that his nose could only understand. "Now, Axew. You know I trust you but-" Axew's walking turned into a dead rush as he repeated his name and pointed straight, continuing around a tree.

    "What is it?" Iris asked as she turned around the tree as well. She noticed a campsite, a tent, sleeping bag, and various other trinkets. All placed around a clear area shrouded by a circle of trees, but most importantly her eye lite up like the glow on an Ampharos's tail. It was food! Genuine food! Berries, sandwiches, and bread! It all sat on a picnic sheet. It all gave off a hopeful air, temptation was calling Iris and Axew. They both made a beeline for the berries, Iris proceeded to dig into the fruit at rapid pace alongside her young Dragon-type friend who indulged himself in the Oran Berries. She let the juicy ripe taste fill her mouth in large amounts, each bite of the fruit causing her to get small bits of it on her face. Axew stuck Berries in his mouth whole, feasting unrelenting. A sharp yell knocked her and the Tusk Pokemon off of Cloud Nine.

    "Who do you think you are?!" a brown-haired girl screeched. Her feminine face, azure eyes, and clear skin showed her age very clearly, Iris figured she was around fourteen, fifteen, or sixteen. A fresh feminine smell lingered in Axew's nose from the girl's simple appearance. Poking out of the back of her white and pink cap was a long ponytail that Iris admired, she began to wonder slightly if pink, black, and white were the girl's favorite colors, as those comprised most of what she wore, including her pink Xtransceiver.

    "Oh, uhhhh sorry! I didn't," Iris stumbled with her mouth full, attempting to explain herself.

    "Ughhhhh! I don't have time for this, I got to find that thief! Once I return, you're under arrest! Under the authority of Agent Whitlea!" the girl sped off.

    Arrest? Drayden certainly wouldn't be happy about that, much worse than getting lost. The last thing the young girl needed was a prison record. Her mind was filled with many images of sitting behind caged bars of a penitentiary. Would she ever become the Opelucid Gym Leader? What about Druddigon? What about Drayden? Her appetite and hunger vanished as quickly as it had came.

    "Quit eating and let's go Axew!" Iris and the Tusk Pokemon arose. "Where's that girl at?!" she gave a surveillance to the area around her.

    "Axew!" the Pokemon mimed sniffing the air to get Iris's attention.

    "You remember her scent? Take the lead!" Axew darted off. "We cannot go to jail, we cannot go to jail!" Iris replayed the words aloud. They transversed the forest with hyper speed, stomping near every leaf that dared sit in their path. Until a clearing came into view, there stood the girl. Gazing up a usual tree with a solid anger in her demeanor.

    "Give them back now!" the girl hollered. Iris paced over.

    "Hey, I'm sorry about before, me and Axew saw the food and couldn't resist, you see we were hungry and-"

    "I don't care, I got other stuff on my mind right now!" she peered up into the tree. "Come out you thief! Give me back my Poke Balls!" Iris stared curiously and tried to understand the girl's current situation. "Damn thief!" Hilda hissed. A purple-bodied Pokemon peaked its head out of the tree. Its mischievous eyes and predator stinger showed how threatening it was, despite it not being a very large Pokemon. The Pokemon pointed its pincer at the young woman and taunted her with a giggle. It lingered upside down from the branch of the tree, holding three Poke Balls in its arms.

    "If I had my Poke Balls, I would take you out so fast!" she grunted.

    "Doesn't look like a Pokemon you typically see often. Oh, yeah! Drayden's gift." Iris pointed her Xtransceiver at Gligar, getting a nice shot of the Pokemon, and fiddled with a few buttons.

    Gligar, the FlyScorpion Pokemon. Gligar is known to be a very versatile Pokemon. It has many powerful attacking traits, may it be its strong fangs, razor sharp pincers, or its venomous stinger-like tail. They glide using their membrane that is attached to their arms and legs.


    "That jerk has some nerve, even worse I can't do anything about it!" the girl shrieked. An idea then struck Iris's attention.

    "I'll help you out then, let's call this our repayment for the food! Axew, go!" the Pokemon began to scale the trunk of the tree in pursuit of Gligar. Gligar glared at its oncoming opponent, thin poisonous objects fired from Gligar's mouth.

    "Dragon Rage!" Axew's blast easily mowed down the attack.

    "You're good! Now tell Axew to get my Poke Balls!" Whitlea cheered on Iris. Axew continued up the tree, Gligar sat down all three of the Poke Balls on a nearby branch. The FlyScorpion Pokemon let out an awful ear piercing shriek, Axew yelled in anguish at the high volume sound as he did his best to stay his ground.

    "Axew get away from it!" Axew attempted to get away from the retching sound, the Tusk Pokemon rushed up a branch into the leaves. Gligar scanned the tree for its enemy, a rustle to the right drew its attention as a cluster of Poison Sting were shot that way, smacking Axew and sending the Pokemon flying out of the tree, much to Iris's fear, the Pokemon careened into the ground hard. Gligar cheered in its success in ridding the tree of Axew.

    "Wow, that Gligar's one tough cookie," Iris admitted as she helped her Axew gain his composure. "Let's try again, okay Axew!" Iris certainly looked ready to fight.

    "No, no point in doing the same thing twice. Gligar will just drive Axew out of the tree like it did before," Whitlea said strategically. "We'll figure out a plan or my name isn't 'Agent Whitlea'."

    "Okay, what's the plan?" Iris asked curiously.

    "I've got it all figured out and it's called, 'Agent Whitlea's Super Duper Strategic Undefeated Successful Gligar Victory Plan!' of course I'm gonna need your Axew's full cooperation."

    "Um.....wha?" Iris raised an eyebrow at the girl.

    "First and foremost, I'm assuming that Gligar is here because of a Pokemon Swarm in the area."

    "Swarm?"

    "On certain days in many areas in Unova, some Pokemon will become more active. I'm guessing that Gligar is from a Swarm, since Gligar isn't common at all around these parts."

    "Wouldn't that make a Gligar really rare then?" the idea of catching the Gligar surfaced in Iris's mind, but was quickly diminished.

    "Yeah, sure. Anyway, let's put 'Agent Whitlea's Super Duper Strategic Undefeated Successful Gligar Victory Plan!' to work and get to discussing!" Iris once again was taken off guard by the girl's plan, but decided to cooperate.

    "Well, sure. They're your Poke Balls after all." Iris smirked.

    -----------------------


    Whitlea and Iris approached the tree cautiously carrying a small plate of Berries.

    "Hey, Gligar!" Iris bellowed.

    "Gli?" the Pokemon stuck its head out.

    "Ya hungry? We just wanna show this as a sign of us being sorry for trying to take back Whitlea's Poke Balls. You should keep them." Gligar was wary of Iris and Whitlea's sudden change of heart, but like any Pokemon, food was put in high regard so it certainly didn't want to turn a meal down. The FlyScorpion Pokemon glided over toward the two girls, grabbing a Berry and chowing down on it.

    "Come on Axew," Iris thought. The Tusk Pokemon climbed up the tree from the backside with the intentions of retrieving Whitlea's purloined Poke Balls. Meanwhile, Gligar continued to snack on the Berries to its heart's content. Axew looked curiously around each branch, Gligar chewed on one last piece of Berry before patting its stomach and flying off back to its tree. Axew spotted Whitlea's Poke Balls, unfortunately he also saw the FlyScorpion Pokemon approaching and did his best to hide up in the upper part of the tree. Iris hoped for her Pokemon's safety, as he tried his best to stay undetected by Gligar. The young girl couldn't take the waiting any further, she truly feared the possible consequences of her choice in sending Axew on a mission like this. She had to do something.

    "Axew!" the Pokemon lingered from above an upper branch as Gligar looked up, its eyes were met with a pair of red bloody demonic circular eyeballs. The Pokemon was startled causing it to panic, slamming the branch and sending a heavy vibration through the tree. One of the Poke Balls in its possession was sent rocketing toward the earth. Whitlea's gleeful eyes were glued on the grounded Poke Ball, she dashed toward it and secured it.

    "Finally I can get my payback! Okay, Servine action!" a snake-like creature appeared, its body was lush and leafy. It hissed at Gligar viciously, and kept those knife-like eyes trained on the FlyScorpion. Gligar hid inside the tree further, completely consoled by the leaves. Axew was one thing, but Servine. "You get out of that tree now!" Whitlea boomed, Gligar broke sweat while staying stationary under the leaves.

    "Okay! Fish it out with Vine Whip!" Whitlea roared. Two slender vines appeared from inside Servine's yellow collar around her neck, and darted toward the tree violently, the vines crept on the inside of the tree's shrouded internal greenery, until they found their target and wrapped themselves around the body of Gligar, this made Whitlea grin, as the vines became locked. "Perfect! Now reel it in!" the FlyScorpion Pokemon resisted, doing everything in its power to free itself from Servine's grip. However it was all futile as the strong vine pulled the Pokemon closer and closer with each second. Axew and Iris simply watched, seeing how quickly the young woman gained control of the situation.

    "Now, attack!" The Grass Snake Pokemon let its prey go for a second as it quickly socked the Gligar violently with its lush thin boxing gloves-like vines. Each punch sent the Gligar's face into a fearful frenzy, before Whitlea called for the assault to cease.

    "Now, give me back my Poke Balls and you can go!" the Gligar got up to its feet, it wasn't going to let Whitlea get away without a scratch. It spat a spiteful glare at her, opening its mouth and sending a shower of Poison Sting bolting her way.

    "Dragon Rage!" Iris's Axew intervened, breaking down the attack before it could hurt Whitlea. "Scratch!" Axew trailed toward the grounded FlyScorpion and clawed away at the Pokemon's face.

    "Thanks!" Whitlea said.

    "No problem, I owe you."

    "Okay, Gligar I tried to give you a chance to return my Poke Balls and leave peacefully," Whitlea said grimly as her voice took on a playfully evil tone. "But, I'm afraid I can't let you go after that...." Whitlea dug in her pocket, slowly pulling out a small sphere and began to approach the FlyScorpion Pokemon. "The best way to make sure you never pull that again....."

    "Gliga? Gli? Gliggggar" the Pokemon muttered horrified as Whitlea approached.

    ------------


    Whitlea, Iris, and their Pokemon sat at her campsite that they were at prior to the Gligar encounter. Whitlea had her tent sat out, with a picnic blanket on the ground that she and Iris conversed on.

    "Hey, thanks for helping me get my Poke Balls back."

    "It's no problem, I mean me and Axew did eat some of your food. Axew noticed your other two Poke Balls in the tree and grabbed them."

    "That's nice of Axew, not to mention I got a new member of my team. Right, Gligar?" Whitlea motioned down to the FlyScorpion Pokemon as he pouted on the ground next to Axew who grinned.

    "So...Iris where are you on your way to?"

    "Well you see, before I met up with you, I was on my way to Undella Town. But, I sorta got lost," Iris admitted.

    "You can come with me, I'm heading that way. I'm on business that way, so I say we travel together. I'll be your escort!"

    "Business?"

    "It's more like a mission though, after all a agent's job is never done. I'm not allowed to tell you."

    "Well, okay."

    "Buuuuuuuut, since you seem like you're dying to know," Whitlea said hastily. "I'm an agent of the International Police. InterPol for short."

    "Woah, really? But, you're so young!" Iris fawned over Whitlea.

    "Well, actually I'm more like an agent in-training," she admitted. "I'll be a help to the InterPol someday! But, for now I'm simply a Pokemon Trainer. Buuuuuuut, you can call me 'Agent Whitlea' if you want." she winked.

    "I actually met Looker of the International Police," Iris bragged.

    "You met Looker?!" Whitlea boomed. "Oh my God! You met Looker in the flesh?!" Whitlea grabbed Iris happily.

    "Yep, sure did. He was in Opelucid for a while."

    "Oh. My. God. Looker was near Opelucid and I didn't get to meet him!" she whined. "Looker is so cool."

    "Yeah, he sure is."

    "Iris. Iris. Iris. You don't even know how cool Looker is, as a true fan of Looker, I've done my research and do you know that Looker was one of the people responsible for a crime bust in the Sinnoh Region? Supposedly helping take down an evil crime syndicate? Him and his partner, Croagunk, have battled hard and become quite the dynamic agent duo, they always solve the case. Did you know Looker's case percentage achievement rate is up near seventy-nine percent?! Not only that but, he and his Croagunk have trained just specifically to solve hardcore cases! His Croagunk and him are so cool!" Axew, Iris, and Gligar glared at Whitlea, surprised by her energy as she and Servine both made the same body movements, attempting to emulate the known agent from Sinnoh.

    "Haha, well that's good to know." Iris shrugged.

    "That's why my Pokemon and I will one day gain fame just like Looker and become strong battlers! But, for now we're just working on little cases." Gligar couldn't help but be annoyed at the dotty attitude by his new "owner". He playfully slapped a small amount of sand in the girl's face, causing her to shake her face in disgust. "What was the Sand-Attack for?!"

    "Gli," the Pokemon giggled at his mischievousness.

    "Keep that up and you'll be disciplined! I caught you, so I'm responsible for you!" she pointed her finger at the FlyScorpion Pokemon.

    "Gligar! Gli!" the Pokemon motioned toward Axew and Iris.

    "What?! I could have so done it without their help, if that's what you're implying."

    "Gliiiiiiigar," the Pokemon taunted. Iris watched as the two bickered continuously.

    "Oh, well at least we have a person to take us to Undella Town. No having to deal with stupid maps," Iris conversed with Axew as Whitlea and Gligar's little scuffle ended.

    "Well, who cares? Either way Gligar, you're a case closed!" she returned the Pokemon to its ball.

    "It's getting late, and I'm getting tired and hungry. So, I'm calling it a day for now," Whitlea said nonchalantly to Iris. "We'll start fresh tomorrow, we should be able to make it there by then." Whitlea went over to her tent alongside Servine.

    "This girl's gonna be a hand full," she sighed.

    "But, I bet you and your Pokemon are hungry!" Whitlea came back with a plate full of Berries and various other packaged treats. Axew and Iris's eye gleamed.

    "Or...maybe not." Iris giggled.

    "Oh, yeah I almost forgot to formally introduce myself, nice to meet you, I'm Hilda Whitlea!"
    Last edited by Bubble Frog; 22nd June 2012 at 09:07 PM.

  13. #28
    I'm back! Finally Soulmaster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Agent Whitlea, Case Closed! (Chapter 6)

    Another good chapter, the NPC's(Hilda included) were hilarious the way they talked to Iris was great. Overall a great chapter. I saw 2 mistakes i this chapter.


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  14. #29
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Post Re: Opelucid's Investments - Agent Whitlea, Case Closed! (Chapter 6)

    @Gotpika; Y U NO TAG ME? -.-

    This comment will be edited with my review.

    EDIT:

    This was yet another good chapter. I really like the fact that Drayden leaves all the weak trainers who stumble upon this gym to Iris, it serves as a good training to both Iris and her Pokémon making her development very believable! Also, Whitlea! I like her, she seems quite amusing, haha. I'm also digging the fact she has a SERVINE (one of the most amazing POk and a Gligar, I love Gligar and Gliscor! :)

    Looking forward to finding out her role in this story!

    I really can't wait for the next chapter, keep it up! :D
    Last edited by Tsutarja; 19th June 2012 at 03:50 PM.

  15. #30
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Agent Whitlea, Case Closed! (Chapter 6)

    A great chapter once more! I had quite a pleasant time reading it.

    For this chaoter I noticed a few mistakes, which were all surely only typos, but since a couple of them has already been pointed out I'll just take up one.



    As for the story, I think you're really handling Axew's development in a steady and realistic pace, the way he's getting better little by little feels natural. Although I'm missing Druddigon a bit, it feels like he's been shoved aside as Axew took the spotlight, but I'm sure that you're planning to start taking his development for real in future chatpers, so I won't get to that.

    Hilda was amazingly enjoyable, I'm hoping for her to for a while, I can imagine her and Iris to become a spectacular duo. Curious to what other Pokémon she has in her possession though, and I'd love to see some more of her battling skilles. Maybe a battle between her and Iris would be something to consider?

    To be honest, I was actually hoping for Iris to catch Gligar, as it reminded me a bit of Ash's previous Gligar - being hilarious and mischevious. It was understandable though for her to not catch it, since it'd be way better for her to aim a bit more focus towards the current Pokémon she has in her possession before she considers catching some more. Just curious though, will she actually catch Pokémon apart from the Dragon-Types? Like, Pokémon whose in the Dragon Egg Group, or just regular Pokémon? That'd be nice if she did, although I wouldn't mind a Dragon mono team.

    All in all, a very enjoyable chapter for sure! You were very descriptive, and not a single time did I feel lost (except for the time with Iris and Drayden at the Pokémon Center/Mart, I had completely forgot that the two were in the same building in Unova).
    Looking forward to your next chapter!
    ''A single thread in a tapestry though its color brightly shine, can never see its purpose, in the pattern of the grand design.''

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