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    Not A Piece of Cake Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Opelucid's Investments - Agent Whitlea, Case Closed! (Chapter 6)

    Table of Contents

    1.The Spartan Mayor
    2.The Girl Who Knows The Hearts of Dragons
    4.Opelucid In Flames
    5.How to Train Your Dragon-type
    6.Agent Whitlea, Case Closed!

    A/N:My first really serious Fanfic is this one. Iris is a pretty fun and interesting character with a nice design to me, so I just have had the strong urge to write a sort of story about her and her future. How she came to be and how things have been for her. It's a Fanfiction on Iris, the Gym Leader of White Version's Opelucid Gym and character from the BW & BW2 games. Some focus will also be on Drayden during parts of the story as he is connected to Iris. I'm still not really happy with this introduction chapter, I just look at it and think about all the things I think may have been badly done or attempted. But, I just went with this since I've been wanting to post this chapter for quite some time now, I'll try to do better in the future. As always any and all constructive criticism is appreciated, it can only make me better!

    Oh, and if you wanna be on my mention list just ask.

    Chapter 1 The Spartan Mayor

    Unova's very own Opelucid City was certainly a site to behold. So modern, yet so old. The city was almost like a vintage wine, aged to perfection. The city of the old and the new, truly a nostalgic treasure for many. Life in Opelucid was always calm and yet so exciting. Many people traversed the city daily with the latest Castelia City designed cellphones and the most up to date computers. The roads and sidewalks held the most nature-efficient streetlights. People put nature and technology in high regard in Opelucid, appreciating the grace and life of nature and the convenience and helpfulness of technology was Opelucid's unofficial law by many. The city gave off a certain air about it, accustomed to itself and few other places in Unova. There was a certain man in particular who truly supported and worked hard toward Opelucid and what it is today.

    "Hurry up!" a young man yelled as he carried a box.

    "I'm just a girl, chill out!" the young lady said with a clear heavy animosity in her voice lugging the rather medium sized crate.

    "We have other things to do you know," he said in a clear spiteful tone as the two kept walking. A small bump on the ground drew Ed's attention.

    "Molly you dropped one."

    "It's just one forget it," she said as the Pecha stayed on the ground rolling near a rough dark purple boot that looked as if it had been put through quite some use over the years.

    "What a shame..." the man bent over picking up the pink fruit. "You two!" the man boomed in a gruff professional voice that sent shivers down Ed and Molly's spines. The man walked calmly over to the children. Ed kept a clear face and tried his best to not look nervous, even though it came off as clearly forced, a small bead of sweat leapt off Ed's head. As the man came toward the two, Ed stared at the man's face full of white crisp facial hair that almost completely covered the area around his mouth, his head had the same hair, and the rather aged yellow brownish eyes spelled clear annoyance being contained under a cap. The man's arms and muscles were rather big, truly a walking testament to all his hard work over the years. "You dropped something," he said as he pointed the Pecha at Molly.

    "O-Oh, thank you sir," she said as she walked over as Drayden sat the Pecha on top of the crate of other Poison healing fruit.

    "Children today truly don't realize what they have, where exactly did those Pecha Berries come from?" the man asked.

    "Ordered them from manu-," Ed was cut off.

    "No, they came from nature. Never take even the smallest thing for granted, even if it may be a small Pecha Berry. Nature works hard to give us all our food in a way, show the tiniest bit of respect," he answered back. "Good day," Drayden said walking away as the children relaxed themselves a bit.

    "God that was stressful, I thought we were going to get chewed out or in trouble or something. Eh, Edmond?"

    "I guess..." Ed answered.

    Nature works hard to give us all our food... he replayed Drayden's words in his head.

    "Let's go Molly," he said carrying their luggage down the sidewalk.

    "Humph, children these days," Drayden said grunting as he walked through the city streets.

    "Keeping Opelucid's youth in-line I see..." a rather elderly aged woman said as she walked near Drayden.

    "I expect the best of Opelucid City, that includes the people Ms.Maryann."

    "I expect nothing less from someone who has worked hard since childhood. Any challengers lately?" the woman said as she and Drayden walked toward a large building that gave off the shape of a reptilian creature, scale-like bricks shaped the surface of the establishment.

    "Yes, quite a few. Not many have managed to show the same spirit and respect that I truly cherish, there have only been a choice few."

    "Things really have changed since the day of your grandfather," Maryann said earnestly. "Take care," the woman walked away.

    Drayden walked through the door of the Dragon shaped structure. The inside of the Gym gave off a thin air and vibe about it, and the field was worn away quite a bit. The area was rather large and opened with distinct Dragon crafted statues and patterns decorated all around. Drayden left the area walking to the end of the gym into a back room. Besides the weight set and barbells, it was a relatively normal office. He sat down staring at the pictures of his various family and friends, eying one picture in particular of a young brown haired boy holding a green Dragon, tusk protruding its jaws, and rather large innocent eyes. The same could be said for the young child.


    With the construction of the Driftveil Gym finished, we hope to see a lot more activity in the city as well as tourism.

    "Keep going!" a tenacious sixteen year-old said to a fourteen year-old adolescent huffing and puffing as sweat poured from his face. "You two have got to pick up the slack!" he said as he and a Flaaffy continued to physical push and rotate a rather large wheel with much might. Opposite the large electricity generating wheel was a small green Pokemon with a youthful Drayden. Deed always liked to have the radio on as he worked, his father's radio he borrowed occasionally.

    Drayden breathed heavily as sweat popped from his forehead, his whole shirt nearly drenched in his own perspiration. "Continue forward Axew!" he encouraged his Pokemon alongside him and they both put much force and strength into their work.

    "Okay that's just enough speed! Quickly Dray!" as he stopped pushing, he took a step back as did Drayden. "Thundershock!"

    "Fwwwaff!" the pink and white sheep let loose a large circuit of electricity as it struck the wheel speeding it up even further until it was moving by itself.

    "Now Dray! Get it right this time!" he lectured his younger sibling.

    "Dragon Rage!" Drayden commanded as the Tusk Pokemon opened its mouth shooting a large flare of bluish fiery electricity toward the generator wheel, its rotation was sent into hyper drive as it moved alone.

    "That's it!" Deed said relieved as the wheel finally was moving alone. The Flaaffy and Axew walked over giving each other a respective high five.

    "Good work Dray," Deed said as he shook his brother's hand. Deed and Drayden always worked to support their family, doing their part always in an attempt to keep their family stable and healthy. "I'll go get our last assignment, just chill there," he said scampering off down the metal covered area, making sure not to get in the way of other workers and Pokemon.

    "Only one job left today guys, then we can relax for a while," Drayden said in a glad tone as he listened in on the portable radio.

    There is even a new Opelucid Gym construction plan in the making, bringing more tourism to Opelucid will only strengthen the future of the city and its development, Drayden's ears perked up.

    How will that help anything? he thought.

    "Dray! Get in gear! We're on the backyard chopping wood!" Deed snapped Drayden back into reality. "Hustle!" Deed said as Drayden followed him, Axew and Flaaffy following closely behind.

    "So, Deed how is a gym going to help anything?" Drayden asked curiously.

    "Well, for one with a Gym around the city. We'll get more visitors and tourist and that will make more money for our city. More money equals better living conditions," he answered his curious sibling as he eyed a rather large chested fatigued woman walking by.

    "God, you're a perv at times," Drayden taunted his older brother.

    "Wait?! You don't think I was looking do you?" Deed said guilty as he had been caught in the act once again.

    "Forget it. What do Gyms do anyway?" he questioned Deed.

    "Gyms are designed to test the strength of trainers, trainers who are strong and live in the city are the Gym Leaders. It takes a lot of skill, so I've heard." Deed answered clearly as they reached the backyard of the electricity generation factory. Drayden and Deed jogged over picking up the pic axes as Flaaffy and Axew sat cylinder shaped pieces of wood in front of their respective owners.

    "1...2....3!" Deed and Drayden simultaneously sent the axes through the pieces of wood as they sliced cleanly in half. The two brotherly Pokemon gathered up the sliced pieces and threw them into a large green bin. Reloading the two young men with two new cylinder shaped wood pieces. "1...2...3," Deed counted down once more as they cut the wood pieces once more in that same process.

    "70 pieces and we will have reached our quota," Drayden said gladly as he chopped the wood once more. "So Deed, you wanna go pick up some berries later?"

    "I guess Dray, remember that we also have to go pick up our payments," Deed said as he cut the timber.

    Drayden and Deed gradually finished cutting all the timber, finishing their work for the day. They went to see their boss in his office.

    "Mr.Saint we've finished our task for the day," Deed said as he stood in the office in front of his and Drayden's employer. Sporting a big gut with suspenders and gray business pants as well as a cranium more naked than a Palpitoad's body.

    "Nice job boys, nice job," he said as he counted bills of money into two separate piles. "You've done nicely for this being your first year Drayden, I'll throw a little extra your way for that," Mr.Saint said generously as he sealed the money into envelopes for the two boys.

    "Thank you," they said as they both tentatively stretched out an arm and hand to retrieve the hard worked for currency.

    "Don't spend it all in one place," Mr.Sant said as the boys bolted out of the office.

    "So, let's hurry up and get home so we can go ahead and pay the bills and buy the food for the week."

    These are what Drayden's childhood days typically consisted of, hard work and seldom time to play and lolly gag. But, work in an attempt to support his family and their future, especially alongside his closest brother in age. Truly a very disciplined life in comparison to the youth of Opelucid today.


    A vicious scream ripped through Drayden's ears, he got up and dashed toward the outside. A rather large crowd had formed around what looked to be a very angry brown dog like Pokemon. Everyone watched insight as the Pokemon growled, looking as if it was going to tear them to shreds. Everyone was on high alert, all sweating bullets.

    "Dammit! Don't agitate it anymore, it looks angry!" a young male yelled.

    "Thank you captain obvious!" a female voice from the crowd screamed.

    The large brown furry canine Pokemon growled as its fangs shook viciously the Pokemon came charging toward the crowd, the people panicked as the Pokemon barely missed them, hitting a light pole. The pole shuddered and shook as it began to gradually lean back and forth and soon gave way to gravity. A child looked on from the ground in utter shock as it was about to fall on her. This truly was a gruesome sight.

    "Hellllp!" the girl yelled in fear, she was lucky to find a man had gotten in her way. The Spartan Mayor man handled the pole before it hit the child. Drayden struggled with the rather large object. The girl looked on in utter shock and bewilderment at the scene, her life could have potentially come to an end, but..he saved her. Her large petite brown youthful eyes shined with fear and gratitude, she was so shook up from the near death experience she couldn't stop herself from shivering which caused her long purple black locks to sway back and forth in the wind, still paralyzed her dark skin almost looked as if it would turn white like a ghost's body.

    "Run damn child!" Drayden snapped the young girl back from under her terrified state, she found it within herself to jolt away from the scene. Drayden soon moved out of the way letting the pole fall to the ground.

    The Pokemon barked now training its rage at Drayden, he pulled out a small Poke Ball. Slightly tapping the white button in the middle with his purple gloved finger and tossing it an array of white light spilled from the metallic red and white sphere as a rather large green and black Pokemon materialized from the ball.

    The Pokemon glared angrily and clearly was ready to do combat. Its large axe shaped and fined tusk making it look threatening, with its long tail and bulging muscles in its body pumping. Its height truly being something threatening alongside its sharp claws and teeth and the very exterior, tone, and look of the Pokemon showed it truly had been put through slavery over the years.

    "Our mayor's going to handle it!" a voice said from the crowd as everyone got a tad more calm from Drayden's presence. The little girl stared in anticipation of what would happen next.

    "Laaaannnd!" the Pokemon barked as it charged in with its body glowing a purple and orange aura, truly intent on not just injuring but possibly killing Drayden and his Dragon-type.

    "You've caused quite a lot of chaos, there's no point in showing any mercy. Haxorus, Dragon Claw!" The Pokemon in no time quickly delivered a violent bluish slash to the canine Pokemon as it hit the dirt, slightly bloody, silent. Everyone clapped in respect of Drayden and his Haxorus, Drayden calmly took out a Poke Ball dropping it onto the Stoutland's unconscious body.

    Oog. Oog. Ogg. Bing, a small spring of sparkles emitted from the sphere. Drayden breathed a sigh of relief as the Pokemon was secured in the Poke ball.

    "Does anyone know whom is responsible for this?!" Drayden boomed.

    "'Scuse me, scuse me. Pardon me!" a teenage woman attempted to muscle her way through the crowd. "It's mine! Sir, please! I'm sorry," she said as tears ran down her face.

    "Do you not realize that violent Pokemon should be kept in their Poke Balls? Your irresponsible behavior endangered the lives of many people today," Drayden lectured.

    "Please sir, I'm sorry," the young woman pleaded once again with the Spartan Mayor. "Let me explain myself, Stoutland got away while I was training him! I just got him from my father as a gift!" she said hoping to win the Dragon specialist over."He really means a lot to me," she said with a crack in her voice as snot began to bubble from her nose slightly.

    "If you don't have full control of it, keep it in a Poke Ball," he said bluntly to the young woman as he handed her the Pokeball. "You have no more excuses," he gave her the Poke Ball not in the mood to deal with any whiny teenagers.

    "Thank you for understanding," she said as she walked away with the newly caught Stoutland, the large crowd slowly dispersed.

    Who the hell gives a mere child such a strong and evolved Pokemon? he thought to himself as he walked away back into his gym. Sometimes I wonder how kids these days could be so reckless. If these are the future of Opelucid, what does that mean for my gym?

    Yes, these were the typical days of Drayden. Keeping peace within Opelucid City, the city he thought of as a gem itself. He truly cared for the city and the people with in it, he could be blunt at times but he continued to work toward a better future for the city. But, he always had the thought of what would happen to his Pokemon Gym at the back of his head, what would happen when he had to retire? Who would take helm of the gym and in turn challenge the trainers of the future as well as the trainers of the day. Drayden was no where near ready to retire certainly, but this is the type of thing he always thought about. Is there one trainer or child who could show Drayden the bright future of Opelucid and Unova?


    "That was so scary, Druddigon," a young female voice said vibrantly. "I didn't think I could move at all. I'm so thankful that man saved me though," she said smiling joyfully as the wind swept through her long purple locks, and bright eyes looked toward the sky. The tree's bark didn't bother her as the leaves provided a nice cushion for her, the forest was her hangout in a way, she had gotten used to the feel of it.

    "Druddi?" the Pokemon answered back.

    "Yeah and he had a really cute and strong Dragon Pokemon, just like you," she said blissfully. "I wish we could have met it," she said as her and the Pokemon looked toward the sky and the future.
    Last edited by Bubble Frog; 18th June 2012 at 02:48 PM.

  2. #2
    Brock's Pikachu LightningTopaz's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments

    I'm confused--you say the story is about Iris, but from what I can see, the story appears to be more about Drayden than Iris. (unless I happened to miss her) Would is be possible to give her a slightly bigger role in the first episode? Or are you planning on introducing her next episode?

    The Stoutland encounter was my favorite part, but you may want to make it clearer that it is a Stoutland--I thought it was a Boufflant or a dragon until you said it was a Stoutland
    My URPG stats: Maya's status

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    Not A Piece of Cake Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments

    Quote Originally Posted by LightningTopaz View Post
    I'm confused--you say the story is about Iris, but from what I can see, the story appears to be more about Drayden than Iris. (unless I happened to miss her) Would is be possible to give her a slightly bigger role in the first episode? Or are you planning on introducing her next episode?
    Yeah, I plan to introduce Iris next chapter.

    The Stoutland encounter was my favorite part, but you may want to make it clearer that it is a Stoutland--I thought it was a Boufflant or a dragon until you said it was a Stoutland
    Thanks, I tried to make that clearer with adding.

    "A rather large crowd had formed around what looked to be a very angry brown dog like Pokemon. Everyone watched insight as the Pokemon growled looking as if it was going to tear them to shreds. Everyone was on high alert, all sweating bullets."

    Thanks for commenting :)

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    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments

    A solid beginning and like LT already said - there didn't seem to be enough focus on Iris as it seemed to be more about Drayden than anything else, but I guess she'll be introduced properly in the next chapter. There's not much to say, looking forward to the next chapter.

    Keep it up!

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    Not A Piece of Cake Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments

    A/N: Chapter 2 is here. Iris's introduction chapter, hopefully I did the Dragon Girl justice. I tried my best to give her some nice characterization as well as start characterizing the Pokemon more, hopefully you enjoy it. I also tried to show a bit of a more warm side to Drayden. Again, any and all criticism is very much appreciated. The introductions for these two are out of the way. If you wanna be mentioned for future chapters, just let me know.

    Chapter 2 The Girl Who Knows The Hearts of Dragons

    "I'll grab a few Orans too," said a girl with long smooth dark purple hair, her bustling brown eyes almost more adoring than a Lillipup's. "Here we go!" she said grabbing a vine as she swung to a tree adjacent the one she was already on top of, quickly picking the juicy ripened Oran Berries with quickness.

    "That nice man will like these. Don't you think Druddigon?" she beamed. "That Dragon-type will love these too hopefully," she added as she continued to pick the fruit tucking it into a blue pouch. "I didn't get a chance to get close to it, so I don't really know it too well. But, it just looked very strong, cool, and cute."

    "Druddi," the crimson and blue Pokemon answered back slightly uncaring.

    "Something wrong?" Iris asked as she climbed down the tree with a brisk speed and pace, almost like an acrobat, striding over to the cold-blooded beast, she put her hand in the middle of the Dragon's chest and closed her eyes focusing on the lone Cave Pokemon, almost as if she were concentrating all on Druddigon and no other being existed. "Jealously, really?" Druddigon stayed quiet as he poked two fingers on his rough skinned claws together, Iris couldn't help but smirk comically at the situation.

    "It's so cute you're jealous of the other Dragon, of course you're used to not having any competition." Iris said smiling snarkishly. "I'm just joking, but you really don't have to act like that. The other Dragon is awesome, that doesn't mean you're not."

    "Digon, Digon," the Pokemon slightly embarrassed while blushing pretended not to care as he stared on into the rest of the lush green forested area, listening as he seemed to hear a small explosion as Iris picked more Orans, the sound intensified more and more as they both got quieter.

    "Let's go check it out," Iris said to Druddigon.


    "Fraxure this time! With all the power you can muster, Dragon Pulse! I want hard work, you'll never get anywhere giving it a half effort! You've been with me for how long?! You should know this very well!" Drayden barked.

    "Frax-Fraxu," the Dragon-type said panting and sweating viciously as a powerful charge of green and red energy was let loose from its mouth at a very rapid speed. Drayden quickly held up a shield, it looked as if it came from the Spartan Era itself, hiding behind it as Drayden was slightly pushed back by the powerful blast.

    "Cool," Iris said looking on from a distant tree. "It's not the same Dragon from before, but still looks great," Druddigon watched as well standing behind the tree, slightly intimidated despite Fraxure being much smaller then itself, a much larger Dragon. "Let's approach him." Iris said as a slightly nervous Druddigon followed suit as well.

    "Frax, Frax," Fraxure said happily hoping to have pleased its trainer.

    "A very acceptable attack," Drayden complimented the middle staged Pokemon fulfilling its wishes, as Fraxure offered a high five to Drayden.

    "Mister!" Iris said approaching Drayden. Drayden looked over almost confused at who she was, until she came closer, he realized she was the same child that he had saved from the violent Stoutland owned by that irresponsible teenager. Drayden fell silent as the girl approached him, his eyes trained on the Druddigon behind her. Druddigon got even more nervous with Drayden looking at him. "Sir, thank you for before. I went and picked you and your Pokemon some Berries, if you'll accept them, freshly ripened. Druddigon thinks so too," Iris held out the pouch full of various Berries. Drayden looked on, slightly surprised Iris would go to the trouble of not just picking, but finding the freshly ripened fruit and washing it.

    "Thank you, young miss," Drayden answered back in his usual mature and manly gruff tone accepting the pouch of Berries, his eyes were back to being glued on Druddigon.

    Does this Dragon actually belong to her? he thought.

    "Druddi, Druddi," the Pokemon worried Iris, clearly uncomfortable.

    "So, where are your family right now?" Drayden said as he returned Fraxure to its Poke Ball, making Druddigon a little less nervous.

    "Well Druddigon's here," Iris answered back happily.

    "I actually meant in regard to your parents?" Drayden further questioned her.

    "I was raised by Dragons," Drayden slightly gasped at the idea of a human being raised by a Pokemon. Never in his life had he heard of such a fable as a Pokemon raising a human, let alone Dragon beast. He continued to humor Iris obviously unbelieving of it.

    "Okay, well thank you young miss," Drayden said to the girl clearly thinking she was simply playing as children often would. His eyes turned away from Druddigon swiftly and became lined against a small figure, hanging from what seemed to be a very large tree. Iris took noticed to Drayden's look and stare.

    "What are you looking at, sir?" Iris asked curiously.

    "Nothing, I was just hoping it would possibly survive," Drayden said pointing toward the large tree. A very tiny green figure climbed and scaled branches with ease, it slowly moved on a much slender branch in an attempt to grab a loose Pecha Berry hanging at the very end. Unknown to the Axew, below it stood a wild Druddigon. Looking very angry and very violent. Looking especially hungry, starring daggers at the Axew. "Of course if it survives the fall, I'm not sure what it would do about that Druddigon."

    "Oh, no," Iris said quietly, eyes captured in utter suspense.

    "Indeed," Drayden added.

    "Druddigon let's go!" Iris said as she hopped on the Cave Pokemon's back, as he sped toward the tree. "Sorry Mister! I have to go!" Iris gave a farewell to Drayden.

    "Don't tell me she's going to?! The child's going to end up killing herself!" Drayden said worried as can be, sweat somersaulted off his forehead vibrantly as he gave chase after the duo.


    "Right here Druddigon!" Iris yelled as she stopped a few trees away from the large one, first scaling the tree next to it and gradually climbing from that branch to another, until she was on a branch of the massive tree itself trying her best to stay out of the temperamental Druddigon's sight as her own Druddigon stayed near by, out of its sight as well. The Axew continued to crawl to the thinner part of the branch in an attempt to retrieve the food. Meanwhile, Drayden had finally caught up, he scanned for Iris on the tree. The wild Druddigon's mouth took on a hot burning smell as fire engulfed its mouth, Drayden quickly took notice to this.

    "Fraxure, keep it busy!" The Pokemon was released from its Poke Ball, Drayden worried about Fraxure battling a wild Druddigon, especially in its tired state from the amount of training it did, knowing it would be very risky or a potentially dangerous battle if having to deal with a hungry angry Pokemon for too long. An emission of blazing hot fire flew out Druddigon's mouth toward the tree, toward Iris and the Axew. "Block it with Dragon Pulse!" Drayden shrieked as the same green and red energy smacked the Flamethrower, a magnificent explosion erupted from the collision. The Druddigon roared and looked over, its razor sharp yellow eyes looking at Drayden's Fraxure now, Fraxure looked back. Druddigon charged Fraxure, with its claws glowing a menacing white red color as they locked with Fraxure's claws, which glowed a victorious strong bluish color, the Dragons pushed each other trying to overpower the other in a bout of pure strength. Meanwhile, Iris continued up the tree and had finally made it to the branch with the Axew, the Axew reached out its tiny hand wrapping it around the stem of the Pecha Berry and giving it a short yank, Iris made her way over to the thin end of the branch, grabbing the Axew's hand.

    A crunching noise drew Iris's attention, the sound of bark splitting in half. Iris looked over worried, she slowly edged her way to the Axew, each edging the bark would crack a little more, it was like nails on a chalkboard to Iris's ears. She could only continue forward and hope for the best. In a split second however the limb was broken off.

    "AAWWWWWWHHHHH!" Iris yelled petrified with the Axew falling next to her.

    "XEEWWWW!" The Axew screamed in utter frantic fear as well.

    "Distract it, Fraxure!" Drayden said as he bolted toward the falling Iris, Iris's Druddigon quickly came out of hiding as well frantically running for the falling duo, almost tripping in the process. Drayden's arms extended as far as they could, with Druddigon doing the same as the dark skinned girl's body hit his arms and chest like a sack of potato and Druddigon caught the Axew easily. Iris opened her eyes, looking up at Drayden's tough stern yellow eyes.

    "You saved me again," Iris opened her eyes slowly as she hugged the warm Gym Leader. Drayden got slightly embarrassed, a happy embarrassment. "The Axew!?" Iris yelled as her eyes looked around catching her Druddigon's sight, he was holding the Axew. She jumped out of Drayden's arms and ran toward him. "I'm so glad you're safe," she beamed.

    "Axew," the Pokemon said, wondering who the girl was. Iris quickly embraced the small Dragon-type.

    "Awww, that's it. That's really cute," Iris said calmly as Drayden looked at Iris examining the interaction between her and the Axew. Drayden turned his attention to the wild Druddigon and Fraxure brawl going on before his eyes. Druddigon's eyes continued to lock on Fraxure's eyes in a stare down between the two, Druddigon and Fraxure backed up from each other a bit as Druddigon continued to glare Fraxure down.

    "Frax," Fraxure tried to move its body. "Fraxu!" the middle staged Dragon Type cried out for help as the Druddigon walked slowly over, clearly more angry then ever. One arm glowed the same menacing red color, Druddigon was ready to finish the job.

    "Damn it!" Drayden yelled worried, his body feeling like it was filled with lead as his limbs couldn't move at all.

    "STOP!" Iris walked between the Druddigon and Fraxure as the Druddigon continued to approach Fraxure. "Stop it Druddigon!"

    "Get out of the way, you little fool!" Drayden yelled.

    "Listen Druddigon! Calm down!"


    "Axe-Axe!" Iris became joined by the Axew and her own Druddigon.

    "Axxxxeee!" Axew got hotheaded the Dragon's stomach showed off a transparent blue electric and fiery energy that it seemed to be concocting within. The energy gradually moved toward Axew's mouth. "Axx!" Axew opened his mouth but only a small burp of energy came out, the Cave Pokemon took the attack full force and only seemed to be more bothered and annoyed at the retaliation.

    "Stop it, Axew!" Iris lectured the small Dragon as she ran up to Druddigon.

    "Dammit," Drayden continued to curse under his breath, paralyzed. He helplessly glared at the situation.

    "Listen to me, let me understand you, Druddigon," Iris said as she calmly locked eyes with the Druddigon, the very same caring eyes her own Druddigon loved about her. She slightly and slowly placed her hand on Druddigon's forehead closing her eyes. "You're going to be just alright, I know your heart. Axew was getting the Pecha Berry for you, he only attacked out of fear. I'm sorry if he trespassed on your usual tree," Iris said endearingly.

    "This child!? Can understand it?!" Drayden thought amazed at what he was seeing.

    "Please forgive us Druddigon," Iris said as Axew offered Druddigon the Pecha Berry. The once angry and raging Pokemon quickly turned less anxious as Iris continued to talk and cox it. Drayden continued to look on in pure bewilderment at the sight of it all.

    "Druddi..." the Pokemon said as it walked away calmly.

    "Thank you, Axew," The Pokemon still continued to look at Iris, the girl who he only knew for saving his life. "Druddigon can you get that pouch. I picked the perfect Berry to deal with paralysis. Let's fix up Fraxure and that man," Iris said cheerfully.


    After about twenty minutes Drayden and his Fraxure were finally mobile again, and Iris and Druddigon were resting soundly. The Axew Iris had risked her life for, hung around as well. Lying near Druddigon who watched over them both.

    "Humph, is it possible she really was raised by Dragons?" Drayden speculated. "The child not only knew what Berry would specifically heal my paralysis, but she knew just how to calm down the Druddigon, without strife or force," Drayden said warmly. "She may just be what I'm looking for in a future of Opelucid," he walked over to Druddigon, Druddigon was still a tad nervous around Drayden, both of their yellow eyes stared at each other. "Tell her when she wakes up to come and visit this address," Drayden told the Pokemon handing him a small white card. "Tell her Drayden asked her to come. She should be able to understand that coming from you," Drayden said smiling weakly under his beard as him and his Fraxure walked away with the sun setting on Opelucid Forest.
    Last edited by Bubble Frog; 3rd June 2012 at 07:10 PM.

  6. #6
    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - The Girl Who Knows The Hearts Of Dragons (Chapter 2)

    Well I'm gonna be honest here, and I'm not to sugarcoated at all...

    I think you've got potential xD the story is just starting but it's really interesting, at least to me. I liked how you introduced both gymleaders with balance, it's true that it's an Iris fic but adding Drayden in makes it better too cause it allows us to look at the two of them equally.

    The second chapter was pretty good, though the scene with the wild Druddigon got slightly confusing at times, but that's because of the fact that there were two Druddigons; if this happens again I suggest you try to explain it better.

    There were some small grammatical mistakes here and there but they don't really detract form the story. I also think that the pace of the chapte rwas pretty good, it didn't move too fast and it didn't move too slow either, and I liked the character interaction.

  7. #7
    Not A Piece of Cake Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - The Girl Who Knows The Hearts Of Dragons (Chapter 2)

    Quote Originally Posted by Stellar Haze View Post
    Well I'm gonna be honest here, and I'm not to sugarcoated at all...
    Haha, I was expecting a harsher review. XD

    I think you've got potential xD the story is just starting but it's really interesting, at least to me.
    Really? :0

    The second chapter was pretty good, though the scene with the wild Druddigon got slightly confusing at times, but that's because of the fact that there were two Druddigons; if this happens again I suggest you try to explain it better.
    Thank you, I shall if I ever have dual Pokemon of the same species around again.

    There were some small grammatical mistakes here and there but they don't really detract form the story. I also think that the pace of the chapte rwas pretty good, it didn't move too fast and it didn't move too slow either, and I liked the character interaction.
    I'll work on my grammar more in the future. Never has been one of my strong suits. XD Haha, I'm surprised someone actually like those interactions. They seemed pretty uneventful most of the time as I reread them. But, thank you for this review it really helped me out a lot.

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    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - The Girl Who Knows The Hearts Of Dragons (Chapter 2)

    That's what I wanted you to think xD

    Yeah, like I said, at least to me, I mean I'm not very picky but I really like stories with a sort of lighthearted and interesting theme to it, plus Iris and Drayden are two characters that I've been curious about lately.

    Sometimes unneventful moments have to be enjoyed to, they're a part of fiction as well.

  9. #9
    Not A Piece of Cake Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - The Girl Who Knows The Hearts Of Dragons (Chapter 2)

    A/N:Three chapters in nearly two weeks. That rounds out nicely, right guys? Well, this chapters sort of ends the whole "set-up" phase. Character introductions, and a flaws are finally touched upon. There's some Clay in this chapter, so yeah, just wanted to let you know if you're somebody who's crazy about him. The first official story arc. begins, and I think this chapter overtook the first two as the longest. As always, any and all criticism, comments, and thoughts are appreciated. It can only make me better, and make the fic more interesting and fun for you.

    If you wanna be tagged for future chapters, just let me know.

    Chapter 3 Trust

    "Stop everyone!" Drayden ordered.

    The Opelucid courtroom and city hall ranted with many voices. It was a place for the discussion of many subjects, problems, and business regarding Opelucid City. Attending a meeting is the always responsible and wise Drayden. Nicknamed and called the "Spartan Mayor" by many.

    "I worry more and more as times go on," a middle aged woman said. "My sister in Castelia City told me they've become more and more active as time goes on."

    "Yeah it's really worrying, I especially am concerned for my children. I don't want them to feel pressured to release or get rid of their Pokemon. What if they show more of a presence here in Opelucid? I perish the thought," another woman answered back.

    "Yeah, I even heard the sickos steal Pokemon from kids," a man butted in.

    "Well, it's not like they're hurting anyone," a college girl came to the group's defense.

    "Yeah, and we don't even know if the rumors about them are true. I say let them do what they want until we have some hard facts," a man cut in.

    "How could you say that?!" the woman boomed.

    "Calm down everyone!" Drayden commanded silence. "Team Plasma at the moment are being treated like a protest group. We don't have confirmation on any of Team Plasma's actions and whether they are factual or fictional. They are very much free to continue what they do, as long as they aren't hurting anyone. They have rights and opinions that we must respect, however if anyone sees Team Plasma committing any of these supposed actions I ask you report it with the utmost importance," Drayden negotiated. "What are your thoughts on this Clay?" Drayden said as he looked toward a heavy set man, sporting brown fluffy hair that peaked from under his rather large white cowboy hat. A face full of stern behavior and a tough demeanor showed through very clearly.

    "My thoughts? If I had the chance those vermin would've already high tailed it out of my city. That bein' said Team Plasma's little ol' protest are Bouffalant shit. But, it ain't like I can do jack about it now can I? I can guarantee ya somethin', it ain't gonna be perty if I find out what has been said about them is true."

    "As you can see nothing more can really be said or done regarding Team Plasma at the moment," Drayden announced to the crowd. The crowd soon turned into a insufferable amount of debating, bickering, and squabbling, Clay looked on very angry.

    "Shut yer damn traps!" Clay barked out of anger. "Like yer Mayor said, nothin' can be done, drop it now," Clay said with a clearly quaky temper.

    "That ends this meeting," Drayden proclaimed as people began to disperse from city hall.

    "Thank you for your attention and involvement in the meeting today," Drayden thanked Clay.

    "Ehhh, don't mention it. Those wranglers, Team Plasma, managed to whip this here region up into a frenzy. I'm gonna head to the inn for the day, I'm worn out, this business week here in Opelucid's really gonna be a chore, I can tell alread'."

    "Yes, when do you think we can talk about the business regarding this girl," Drayden asked sternly.

    "We'll cross that there bridge when we get there, I'm more focused on Team Plasma," Clay said. "The most irritating thing about this situation with those vermin is they're gaining more support and followers."

    "Indeed," Drayden gave a grim farewell to Clay as he began to leave also. Team Plasma's Pokemon "liberation" plot and speeches didn't bother him, it more so bothered him to know Team Plasma was actually threatening people into getting what they wanted, and they were actually succeeding in some areas. In some places even, trainers who didn't follow Team Plasma were looked down upon and pressured into releasing their Pokemon. The fact Team Plasma were threatening violence and getting what they wanted was something Drayden couldn't tolerate. To an extent, Team Plasma were terrorists in the Spartan Mayor's eyes.

    His gym soon came into view, he grabbed his jangling keys out of his pocket opening the gym's doors. Drayden walked around the gym, he was never ceased at how nostalgic his gym was. The worn out battlefield gave image to just how many battles had been had there, despite the field being built specifically for Pokemon battles. The most prominent decoration of Drayden's gym were defiantly the many Dragon statues that stood tall in few areas in the gym, the most noticeable was surely the long serpent that trailed around the gym in one complete rotation. His Opelucid Gym was one of the main reasons Opelucid became so popular for trainers, grown and fined until it truly was developed into not just a city, but a historic treasurous place for many. His nostalgic mood was interrupted by a knocking at the door.

    He sprinted over, opening it. Standing before him was a rather typical girl, long fiery locks of red, rather slick eyes, and a petite nose decorated her face. She took a deep breath, locking eyes with the Spartan Mayor.

    "Can...I help you?" Drayden asked as the girl remained silent.

    "You sure can!" the girl beamed. "I need a battle!" she said holding out a Poke Ball.


    "Woah! Woah!" children fawned over the sight. Not everyday you see a girl riding atop a Dragon walking down the street. Iris was on her way to Drayden's gym after receiving news of him wanting to see her from Druddigon. She of course accepted with no problem.

    "Hey everyone!" Iris said as she continued to wave and smile from her living scaly parade float. "I feel like a celebrity. Don't you like this too Druddigon?" Druddigon remained quiet however, being the Pokemon he is, he never really cared for getting too much attention. It was especially nerve raking when he got attention that he didn't even want, he was at least happy that Iris was enjoying herself. However, a certain man rained on Iris's parade.

    "S'cuse me, miss," Clay walked in front of the young girl and Dragon, running into them on his way to his hotel. "That there Pokemon should be in a Poke Ball," Iris somersaulted off Druddigon and in front of Clay.

    "Oh, sorry," Iris said embarrassingly. "I've just never gotten so much attention, plus Druddigon just doesn't have a Poke Ball," Iris explained to a clearly annoyed Clay.

    "Yea' that's may be all fine and dandy to ya'. But, what would you do if this big ol' behemoth started rampagin' or stirring up somethin'?" Clay lectured.

    "No, I'm here for some business I have to take care of," Iris said clearly getting defensive. "I know Druddigon, and know he wouldn't pull anything."

    "Well, little girl, ya might think ya know yer Pokemon. But things happen, out of yer control, and if that there Pokemon ended up hurting someone. I'm pretty sure yer parents or ya couldn't pay any hospital bills or pay for any funerals now could ya?"

    "Listen, mister. I didn't come to start any trouble, I'll leave when I see Mister um....." Iris's mind danced slightly. She never actually learned the man with the Fraxure's name.

    "Uh, yeah. Lyin' ain't gettin' ya no where," Clay said clearly getting more temperamental at the older child as time went on.

    "Druddigon, let's go," Iris ordered Druddigon as it began to walk away. Clay looked on from a distance as it walked away, frowning at the girl.

    "The nerve of that guy!" Iris continued to walk alongside Druddigon. Iris soon came to the establisments front door, she tentatively stuck out her hand and took it upon herself to enter, alongside her Druddigon. She was sure it was the right address judging from the business card she got from Druddigon. She was met with a clash of force and pressure between Drayden and a challenger.

    "Heat Wave!" Vierra commanded a large red Pokemon with a long snout, its predator eyes leering down Fraxure maliciously. Heatmor began to look on menacingly its mouth conjuring up a large ripple of fire mixed air, that was blasted at Fraxure, striking the Pokemon right on his red-dotted chest.

    "Fraxure, stand tall!" Drayden ordered as Fraxure took the attack head on, a magnificent explosion of fire enveloped the area around Fraxure as well as a large cloud of smoke. Vierra looked at the dirt clouded area, pleased.

    "Great! Now, send out your next Pokemon Drayden!" Vierra yelled victoriously. "Only two more to go!"

    "Who said you had even defeated my first Pokemon yet?" Drayden said calmly as the smoke cleared from around the area, revealing a freshly shoveled hole in the ground. Vierra was shocked, she was so sure Fraxure was struck by the Heat Wave, Fraxure even told his Fraxure to stay put. She scanned the area around looking for the Axe Jaw Pokemon.

    "Crap! Where is it?!" Vierra and Heatmor looked around, unknown to them the area behind Heatmor slowly cracked and shook, with each crack the hole dirt seemed to be pushing up. Vierra caught the hole, but she was too little too late.

    "Show yourself Fraxure and use Dragon Tail!" Drayden screamed, the Pokemon quickly unearthed himself and jumped in the air behind the Heatmor, confidently smiling at the game of hide and seek. His tail soon began to give off a virulent sky blue as it shaped what looked to be dragon teeth around it. Fraxure soon, still in midair, delivered a point blank smack to Heatmor's back causing his tail to rebound off of of the Anteater Pokemon.

    "Heeattt!" the Pokemon called out in pain as it fell forward clearly fatigued and unable to continue.

    "You gave a great effort, but your Pokemon still need quite a bit more training," Drayden commended Vierra as he walked over to his tired Fraxure returning him to his Poke Ball. Vierra took a deep breath as her Heatmor was broken down to red light and returned to its Pokeball. "I gave it a great effort, yet I couldn't even beat one of your Pokemon?" Vierra said sarcastically.

    "No you were great!" Iris boomed as her and Druddigon ran over. "I mean, he was stronger and won. But, that doesn't change the fact you battled hard too."

    "Thanks a lot, it really does mean a lot to me," Vierra answered back. "Thanks, Drayden, well I'm leaving now. Let's battle again soon," Vierra said to Drayden walking away.

    "Oh, so your name's Drayden," Iris said energetically. "Druddigon gave me your card, and you wanted to see me?" she asked.

    "Yes, I'm glad you came. We have quite a bit to discuss," Drayden said causing Vierra to turn her head slightly in curiosity.

    "Drayden's interested in her?" Vierra thought.

    "What is your name young miss?" Drayden asked.

    "I'm Iris," she answered.

    "Well, Ms.Iris, being completely blunt, I would like you to help me out. I believe you have a lot of potential, I would like to offer you a scholarship. You'll learn a lot and become stronger," Drayden proposed the idea to Iris.

    "I'm not sure. What's a scholarship?" Iris said unsure of herself.

    "Well, what I mean is, I want you to become a prominent part of this gym," Drayden said blatant. "I'm the mayor and gym leader of this city, a gym is a facility meant to challenge trainers. I'm busy with mayor work a bit of the time, so you could work excellently as a co-gym leader. A person who will challenge challengers and such."

    "Hm...Druddigon what do you think," Iris said as she embraced her Druddigon and put her head on his chest. Drayden once again observed and slightly smiled at the site. "If I accept..can Druddigon come too?"

    "Indeed, there's more then enough room for your Druddigon."

    Iris still looked on unsure,"Can I think about it for a while?" Iris asked.

    "You may, in the meantime, I have to ask, did you really ride that Druddigon all the way to my gym?" Drayden asked.

    "How did you know?"

    "I got multiple calls about a child riding a Druddigon through town. Please don't do that again," Drayden said handing Iris a Poke Ball. "Simply tap it to your Druddigon's body. Using a Poke Ball will make your Druddigon more easy to travel with and carry, and it-"

    "Him, he's a boy," Iris corrected Drayden.

    "He," Drayden corrected himself, "will not get in trouble for not having a Poke Ball."

    "Isn't it cramped and uncomfortable in there?" Iris asked.

    "I'm not sure how to answer that, my Pokemon don't seem bothered by i,." Drayden answered the question to the best of his ability.

    "Okay, Druddigon?" she said as she felt Druddigon's heart.

    "....If..it...means...I..can....be...with...you...yes," Druddigon's heart answered back.

    "Awesome! Druddigon's okay with that," Iris said as she gave Druddigon a light tap on the head as he was sucked inside the red and white metallic sphere, the ball's center button glowed three times in a row and soon emitted a surge of sparkles. Iris smiled, "Now we won't get in trouble Druddigon. Hey Drayden how do I let Druddigon out?" she asked.

    "Simply press the button in the middle and throw the ball or just press the button," Drayden answered.

    "Okay! Druddigon come on out!" Iris said as she threw the Pokeball in the air, her Dragon materialized in front of her face. "I hope you were comfy in there," she said to Druddigon.

    "Maybe being with Drayden will be fun," Iris thought.

    "Shall we talk more about this in my office?" Drayden said as him and Iris walked toward his office. She held the door open for his young soon-to-be apprentice.

    "Hey!" Vierra said walking over to Iris.

    "Huh?" Iris asked.

    "You think we could hang out sometime, you seem really cool. Vierra's the name," Vierra asked curiously. Iris was a tad taken back by the offer, she barely knew who Vierra was and yet she wanted to be Iris's friend.

    "Um...sure," Iris said slightly embarrassed.

    "Great! I'll be back in a little while, we'll do some exploring in Opelucid!"

    "Sure, thanks for the offer," Iris said smiling as Vierra walked out of the gym.


    "Have you always been able to understand Dragons' hearts?" Drayden continued his questions to Iris.

    "Well, no, it's sort of something I learned. I really love Dragons and I guess I got really really attached, since I was raised by Dragons," Iris said slightly blushing as she looked at Druddigon's Poke Ball. "I never forget the past, but I'm always looking toward the future." Drayden couldn't help but grin warmly at the phrase.

    "Opelucid is my home, I truly cherish this city for everything it's worth. I'm proud to be able to support and develop it more alongside my Pokemon," Drayden said holding out Fraxure's Poke Ball to show Iris. Iris beamed at Drayden's regard and opinion of Opelucid.

    "So, is that Druddigon all you have?"

    "Well, yeah, Druddigon is my only Pokemon. I love him a lot though," Drayden continued to lecture Iris with questions, trying to find out more and more about the girl who could supposedly understand the hearts of Dragons and his new apprentice. "Um...Drayden. Can we please battle that other Dragon of yours?" Iris asked anxiously ending the Spartan's Mayor's little interview.

    "Other Dragon?"

    "Well, I noticed you had a bigger Dragon than that Fraxure."

    "Haxorus? Okay, but on one condition," Drayden proposed. "If I win you accept to be my apprentice." Drayden said slightly grinning, playing with Iris.

    "Alrighty oh!" Iris said with Druddigon's Pokeball in hand, as if it was a jewel itself.


    Opelucid Forest Area

    "Axeww," the young Dragon yawned waking up from a sleep. Axew looked around, surely there was a girl and a Druddigon here. He was sure, the same girl who saved Axew's life, had he dreamed it? Axew heard something, some talking in the distance. He eavesdropped from a more slender branch on the tree.

    "We invade soon," said a eerily adult male voice. "Opelucid's future will be in our hands, we'll make them open their eyes and see."

    "But, what about the Spartan Mayor?" said a female voice.

    "If the girl gets her job done, he'll be nothing to worry about," said the male voice.

    "Yeah, he'll be a cakewalk," Axew listened harder, hearing a new voice enter the scene. He continued to get an ear full, he gasped and his eyes widened at what he had further heard.


    "Don't expect for me to go easy on you just because we're friends," Iris roared.

    "I wouldn't want anything less," Drayden exclaimed.

    "Okay Druddigon come out!" Iris yelled as she hurled Druddigon's Poke Ball onto the battlefield, the Dragon-type came out standing tall, his crimson and blue body gave off the look of a proud Pokemon.

    "Haxorus!" Drayden boomed as his Poke Ball exploded with a flash of intense light, a monstrous creature appeared, large muscles, razor sharp claws, a rough build, and a body covered in primarily black, red, and green looked menacingly at Druddigon. Probably the most intimidating thing about the Pokemon, its bloody red eyes that looked as if they would pierce through one's soul if looked at for too long, almost as sharp as the Pokemon's jaws itself. The Pokemon continued to eyeball Druddigon with those same paralyzing hellish eyes. Druddigon couldn't move, his soul and heart were sliced cleanly through by the Axe Jaw Pokemon's simple gaze.

    "Druddi?" Druddigon said looking at Iris, beginning to sweat out of nervousness.

    "Checkmate already?" Drayden said to himself. "You may have the first move Iris," Drayden offered.

    "Okay! Druddigon! Use Scratch!" Druddigon remained motionless. "Druddigon! I made a call for a Scratch!" Iris yelled once more which caused no reaction, Druddigon was stuck in Haxorus's withering eyes.

    "If your Druddigon won't attack, Haxorus will! Dragon Claw!" Haxorus sped toward Druddigon clearly ready to do battle.

    "Druddigon! Do something!" Iris ordered as her Druddigon recoiled in fear covering his face with his arms as Haxorus delivered a welly placed strike to his scale covered body causing, Druddigon was sent into the dirt in pain, Haxorus showed a sign of small anguish after the attack.

    "Druddigon! Quick use your Dragon Claw!" Iris ordered but, Druddigon simply remained stationary.

    "Why Druddigon, why? Iris thought. This certainly something that had never happened before to Iris's Druddigon, was it because of Haxorus? Facing off against such a strong opponent? Was it because Druddigon was battling a Pokemon much bigger than him? Iris didn't have a clue or know what to think in the futile situation she was in.

    "Really, I expected more. Draco Meteor!" the Spartan Mayor ordered as Haxorus's inner body took on a yellow glow, it slowly built up until the Axe Jaw's Pokemon's stomach was almost completely consumed in the magnificent energy, Haxorus looked up and spat a large blast of yellow power toward the roof. The energy soon broke into multiple charges and landed in random places around the gym, Iris was wary herself of the attack. Not many hit Druddigon, but the ones that did rocked the Cave Pokemon's world, each beating from the charges feeling as if the Pokemon was being struck by a meteor shower itself. The Pokemon bruised and fatigued gave into his tired nature and fell down. "Well that was short," Drayden said as his Haxorus returned back into its Poke Ball. "That Druddigon clearly needs a lot of work," he said to himself.

    "Druddigon!" Iris said running up to the beaten and battered Pokemon concerned. "Are you okay?" she asked caring.

    "Druddigon," the Pokemon said calmly confirming his safety. Iris's concern quickly turned into a scolding.

    "Why didn't you attack?!" Iris yelled. "I mean! I thought you had that for sure, you're already big and strong but you didn't attack or move!"

    "Druddi," the Pokemon silently humbled retreated into his Poke Ball.

    "Hmmm..that's never happened before. Why?" Iris asked herself.

    "Well, that was interesting," Drayden said walking over to Iris. "Hm...I would think you would at least notice your Druddigon was paralyzed with fear, given you can understand Dragons," Drayden lectured.

    "Druddigon doesn't have a reason to be scared though," A swift knock at the door stole Drayden's attention from Iris. He continued to talk and walk toward the door.

    "Making choices on what you should do for and with your Pokemon is something only a trainer can make themselves, if you don't understand your Pokemon well enough, can you really expect them to trust you? Your problem is, you didn't listen and understand your Pokemon in battle, your the girl who knows the hearts of Dragons, listen to your Dragon," Drayden said as he walked over to answer the door.

    Iris repeated the words in her mind, staring at Druddigon's Poke Ball. Drayden opened the door all the way, enough for Iris to see who was knocking and vice versa.

    "Iris!" Vierra boomed as she ran over to Iris. "So, are you ready to hangout?"

    "Iris you still have a lot to discuss with me," Drayden said.

    "I'll just be gone for a little bit Drayden," Iris said as Vierra pulled her out the door. Drayden sighed.

    "So, I was thinking we could go try some White ancient tea, shipped in from White Forest itself," Vierra said.

    "Something is wrong with my Druddigon right now, you think we could do this another time?" Iris asked.

    "What's wrong?" Vierra asked curiously.

    "Druddigon seemed to be afraid to attack during a battle I just had against Drayden, wouldn't even tell me why. I'm more focused on that right now, sorry about blowing you off like this," Iris apologized.

    "Oh, well, that sucks," Vierra said in a bubbly tone. "Must have been very humiliating for you," Vierra reminded Iris of the painful view.

    "Yeah..whatever," Iris said slightly annoyed. "Well here, come here, tonight. Bring Drayden too, the Opelucid Park is just beautiful with all the stars and natural light and life at nighttime. We can all have a small picnic to make up for you not being able to hangout right now," Vierra said smiling wonderfully.

    "Thanks, we'll come at around nine o'clock," said Iris.

    "See ya later! Hope you find out Druddigon's problem!" Vierra said as she scampered away.

    "She certainly is a bubble head," Iris said scratching her head. She took another look at Druddigon's Poke Ball, taking Drayden's past words to heart.


    Nine O' Clock

    "I guess it's nice you're making friends," Drayden said to Iris as they both walked toward the entrance of Opelucid Park.

    "Yeah, I guess. Druddigon didn't even come out of his Poke Ball, I want him to come out when he's ready. I wonder if I was too insensitive?" Iris wondered.

    "In these situations, it's best for the trainer to take initiative and approach the Pokemon first," Drayden taught Iris. "While it can be hard for you to do, realizing your mistakes and own shortcoming will make you stronger for the future," Drayden said in a mentoring tone.

    "Oh, Iris, Iris!" Vierra jumped up and down, to indicate her spot on a picnic blanket.

    "Hey Vierra," Iris said as Vierra hopped over to her, smiling a very large grin. As she pointed her and Drayden to a blanket on the ground, with quite a bit of food on it ready to be eaten. Complete with napkins and utensils, Iris and Drayden sat down on the dotted sheet.

    "Thank you for the invite," Drayden spoke.

    "It's no problem, thank you for my new friend and the gym battle," she said handing Drayden and Iris small plates with slices of cake on them. Iris took a bite of the delectable pastry.

    "This is good," Iris said.

    "I hope so, I did make it myself," she said as she dug into the cake and laid out more food.

    "So, the humiliating defeat because of Druddigon being a scaredy Purrloin. Have you figured out why?" Vierra asked not minding her language as she poured a cup of tea for Iris and lemonade for Drayden.

    "No, I just wish I knew, I gotta go for a second. I'll be right back," Iris said distantly, she got up and walked away with Druddigon's Poke Ball in hand toward the far end of the park. She sighed, once again gazing at Druddigon's Poke Ball. "I just wish you could make me understand," Iris said sadly as she was taken back to what Druddigon's heart felt before.

    Iris felt a wave of guilt fall over her. She couldn't help but feel bad, however she soon took a look at Druddigon's Poke Ball and a determined aura fell over her, she wasn't going to let a simple battle get in the way of her and her Pokemon. She let Druddigon out of his Poke Ball and he stood tall and looked around curiously at the new scenery, and at Iris.

    "Listen Druddigon, I'm sorry about pitting you against a stronger and more experienced opponent like Haxorus. It wasn't fair and I wasn't taking your feelings into account," she explained sheepishly. "I should have given you more time, to train to become more confident in your power before using you against Haxorus, since you're new to gyms and challenging trainers, just like I am. So, I'm sorry and I just wanna say, if you'll work with me, I'll work harder to be a better trainer. Drayden said a trainer should take the initiative and be responsible in situations like this, so what do you say?" Iris held out her hand. Druddigon looked at the Iris and at the ground, he ran over and picked up the Dragon loving girl and began to hug her joyfully.

    "That's a yes I hope," Iris giggled as Druddigon hugged her tightly as he often would when they played in the forest at times. "You don't have to worry at all about your confidence, we'll work on that together!" Iris said gleefully, happy to be back on good terms with Druddigon. The two took a seat on the ground and began reminiscing about the times they had together since they were both younger. Druddigon and Iris both giggled, making joyful noise at the past times they had made together. However, a whiny voice broke the nostalgic mood.

    "AXXXXEWW!" Iris turned her head to see a screaming Axew running toward her. "AXX! AXX!" the Pokemon said frantic, Iris recognized the Pokemon as the same one from Opelucid Forest.

    "You again? What's the matter?" Iris said calmly as she picked up the yelling Dragon. Axew pointed toward the right, Iris peered out through the lush bush next to her that made a natural barrier between the street and the park, she listened through Axew's whining and heard the distant sound of feet moving in unison down the street, it grew larger with every step. She saw mysterious people dressed in white making there way down the street, "who are they?" she continuously asked herself.


    "Did I say something wrong?" Vierra asked.

    "Yes, you did, please try not to bring up Iris's Druddigon's battling problem. It brings up unfond feelings for her."

    "Oh, I see. I'm sorry," she said handing Drayden the cup of lemonade.

    "Iris is going to be something great for Opelucid's gym, I hope so, so I really am concerned about her," he said picking up the lemonade.

    "Well she is under your mentorship...." Vierra said sharply. "Too bad...I don't think she'll get far though."

    "Why?" Drayden said sipping the lemonade.

    "Because..Opelucid belongs to Team Plasma now," Drayden's eyes slammed shut as he fell out, dropping the lemonade on the ground.
    Last edited by Bubble Frog; 10th June 2012 at 11:55 PM.

  10. #10
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Trust (Chapter 3)

    Wow, Vierra is a bit harsh, but I like her character.

    As for the chapter itself, some pretty interesting developments happened. Drayden decided to have Iris train, since she has a lot of potential, as his apprentice and Druddigon revealed that he's not as tough as it seems. The sudden strike nervousness kinda came out of nowhere for me though I guess any Pokémon would feel intimidate by Haxorus. Hopefully there's an explanation.

    Along with Team Plasma preparing to proceed with their actions and that heavy cliffhanger, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next and what Vierra meant by her words. Also - hey Clay, nice accent. xD

  11. #11
    ^^ Safe-T's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Trust (Chapter 3)

    OK, well I read the first chapter, and there a few thing I'll note that could've made it a bit smoother.

    First of all, there were a lot of punctuation mistakes roaming around, which got distracting. There were also a few spelling and grammatical mistakes too, something a proof read could've fixed, or a beta reader which is hard to find around here.

    Other than that, I'm not going to repeat the same comment about how you said this was about Iris, but it wasn't, because I get how the first chapter was a intro, so I'll tell you what I think of your writing in general.

    I liked you characterization Drayden, it was good, even the back story. Your description is fine, and isn't lacking, but there is something about the dialogue tags that I'd like to note on. Basically, I felt like you add too much description after a line of dialogue, not that that's bad, but when you do it a lot and repeatedly it gets a little distracting from the dialogue itself.

    What I'd advise you to do is to add a little description before a line of dialogue, and just try to reduce the amount of description around dialogue in general. But most importantly, make sure to proof read, proof read, proof read... the three Ps of proof reading. Read it aloud to yourself, that helps too.


  12. #12
    Not A Piece of Cake Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Trust (Chapter 3)

    Quote Originally Posted by SaFE View Post
    OK, well I read the first chapter, and there a few thing I'll note that could've made it a bit smoother.

    First of all, there were a lot of punctuation mistakes roaming around, which got distracting. There were also a few spelling and grammatical mistakes too, something a proof read could've fixed, or a beta reader which is hard to find around here.

    Other than that, I'm not going to repeat the same comment about how you said this was about Iris, but it wasn't, because I get how the first chapter was a intro, so I'll tell you what I think of your writing in general.

    I liked you characterization Drayden, it was good, even the back story. Your description is fine, and isn't lacking, but there is something about the dialogue tags that I'd like to note on. Basically, I felt like you add too much description after a line of dialogue, not that that's bad, but when you do it a lot and repeatedly it gets a little distracting from the dialogue itself.

    What I'd advise you to do is to add a little description before a line of dialogue, and just try to reduce the amount of description around dialogue in general. But most importantly, make sure to proof read, proof read, proof read... the three Ps of proof reading. Read it aloud to yourself, that helps too.
    Thank you for that comment and review, good critique is hard to come by these days, I really appreciate it.

    I'll work on the spelling as well as other grammatical mistakes. I actually recently got done really cleaning up chapter three because it was riddled with mistakes, I've fixed said mistakes so hopefully they won't distract you(If you plan to read that part.) in the future.

    I try not to be too flowery in regards to my descriptions of things, especially when referring to unimportant details. I try to sort of give it a nice amount of description if it's going to be relevant in future chapters or later in the story if it's important. So, I defiantly try not to abuse the amount of descriptions I make without no payoff being made in the future. But going over around one or maybe two compendious sentences in regards to description defiantly is something that can affect writing, especially when it's unimportant. I'll try to work on this in the future. Thank you.

  13. #13
    Lost Time Memory Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Trust (Chapter 3)

    Well the twist at the end kind of took me by surprise, but that explains why she was being such a jerk. I do wonder why Drayden didn't suspect anything, I mean a man of his experience must have a very keen eye.

  14. #14
    Not A Piece of Cake Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Opelucid In Flames (Chapter 4)

    A/N:Longest update period to date is this one. This chapter has back story, explains a lot, and introduces the villains. We learn more about some people, and some new characters who will play a nicely sized role in the story from here on out or later are featured here as well, Looker enters the fray. I hope you enjoy this chapter, once again any and all comments or criticisms are appreciated. If you want a mention just ask, also credits to @Misheard Whisper; (Author of the very intriguing, interesting, and fun Champion Game) for my nice new banner. I feel like the transitions and pacing this chapter could have been much better. Also this chapter, word wise is officially the longest chapter of all my chapters so far. How many words you may ask? Exactly, 7,879 words. This mama's nice and fat, hope you enjoy. Also, a bit of foreshadowing in this chapter. Can you guess what specifically it is?

    Chapter 4 Opelucid in Flames

    "Haha!" a young girl chased a fleeing Pidove that flied frantically around the large free meadow, the sun nearly almost down as the light was dimming and ready to welcome the nightlife.

    "You go!" she said throwing a Poke Ball as a Heatmor materialized in front of her. "Heatmor, let's try Incinerate!" she said giggling happily as the Anteater Pokemon shot a blast of red hot blaze in pursuit of the bird, the Pokemon simply careened out of the way fleeing into the sky.

    "Shoot! Not again," she sighed. "Well, I didn't want that one badly anyway," she snarled looking at Heatmor slightly annoyed at the failed attempt at capture."We'll get one next time," the girl pointed the Poke Ball at Heatmor ready to return it. A rustle to her right quickly drew her attention though.

    "What's that?" she looked shocked as she turned her vision toward the tall grass in the meadow.

    "Daruma! Darumaka," a red round egg shaped figure with yellow curly eyebrows popped out of the grass dancing cheerfully.

    "D'awwww how cute," Vierra marveled at the Zen Charm Pokemon. Darumaka playfully looked at Heatmor, its fist pumped with fire, as it jammed Heatmor square in the chest sending it flying nearly two yards backwards sliding against the ground.

    "Daruma~" the Pokemon continued to dance playfully.

    "Oh, I see. You do pack a punch, no pun intended, we'll play with you then! Incinerate, Heatmor," the same fire power as before was sent toward Darumaka, who stood its ground, taking the fire move head-on and continuing to dance even after wards.

    "Daruuuumaaa," the Pokemon turned into a wheel of blazing heat and fire as it rocketed toward the Anteater Pokemon, engulfing Heatmor in flames as the Anteater Pokemon slammed into the ground burned and battered. Darumaka looked mischievously at the sight of it all.

    "Not only is it fast and resilient but, it has Fire Punch and Flame Wheel? That only makes me want it more!" Vierra fawned.

    "You've got to hit it Heatmor! Fury Swipes!" Heatmor raced toward the Zen Charm Pokemon slashing its hands at its opponent with rapid speed, Darumaka however easily evaded each attack from the much slower adversary. Heatmor looked at the Darumaka with clear anger and frustration as it delivered a sneaky jab to the enemy's midsection.

    "Nice Sucker Punch," Vierra said gleefully as she held out a Pokeball to make the Zen Charm Pokemon her own. "Lick!" Heatmor's long strong slimy tongue appeared from its snout and smacked Darumaka in the face, Darumaka, not dancing anymore, looked on appearing to be mentally traumatized by the attack. "Poke Ball, go!" Vierra tossed the metallic sphere at Darumaka, watching as it was quickly forced inside the small spherical capsule. A small spring of sparkles danced off the Poke Ball. She ran over picking up the sphere, smiling happily as she pointed the newly caught toward Heatmor. "Job well done."


    "The premiere fire specialist is here, I'm Vierra," an older Vierra said as she spun around with two Poke Balls in her hands, showing off to her father as she wore her backpack.

    "Vierra how many times have I told you. Your Fire-types just aren't strong enough, I doubt you would be recognized as a professional fire specialist by anyone," the man said bluntly.

    "Annnnd that's why I'll prove you wrong on my journey," she said winking.

    "Vierra...I don't wanna see you get hurt, it takes a lot to specialize in one type of Pokemon. That's one of the reasons Gym Leaders are so popular and strong, they've trained and become attuned to it. Not to mention the many many disadvantages that will be exploited when people find out you only work with one type. I also have a position to vouch for, it won't look good on my behalf if you fail," the man said holding out the bills of currency. "I'd rather we return it and send you in the future, when money's better."

    "No worries, I'll see ya in a few months and I'll be a star fire user," Vierra said walking out the front door as her father looked on sadly.

    Vierra traveled to many cities and many places in an attempt to get stronger and become a true fire specialist. She battled many challengers and opponents, things for her Pokemon usually ended in defeat though. She tried her luck against Electric Star and Shining Beauty, Elesa, however by the end of the battle she ended up dizzy, shocked, and dazzled. She tried to take on The HighFlying Girl and Flying-type specialist, Skyla but was fondly blasted away by Skyla's potent, "Walking on Air" battling style. She even tried to take on an unofficial Water-type gym, but was drenched by one simple Pokemon. Her time was ticking away. It almost seemed like Vierra's Pokemon never improved.

    "Hydro Pump," the ghost water jellyfish sent a long blast of high pressure water at Darumaka knocking it out. "We won! We won," the trainer jumped up and down as she hugged her Frillish. "Thanks for the sparring match."

    "Well, we lost," Vierra said as she helped up the Zen Charm Pokemon after its loss to the traveling trainer. "Another loss...my last chance...dad's last chance," she said as tears welled up in her eyes.


    "I'm so embarrassed of my daughter, please forgive me," Vierra's father apologized in front of two men. They wore rather dark attire and stood tall, while sporting various watches and rings, his suit gave off the scent of expensive cologne. Their shades, commonly seen among wealthy Black City men, hid their untrustworthy eyes. Their snake-like accents and venomous tones was especially leery.

    "We understand sir, but we expect to at least be payed back this amount by two months," one man answered.

    "Besides Harry, it's not your fault your daughter has weak Pokemon with no potential. But, if you want continued protection it would be wise not to be late this time."

    "I'll try to be on time, just please understand I have bills to pay and a family to feed too," the man pleaded.

    "We hate late payers," the man hissed.

    "I'm sorry, please my daughter just wanted to start her Pokemon journey and I've been delaying it for a long while now. I just didn't have the money and only borrowed it with good intentions," the man continued to negotiate.

    "That brat right there!" the man's tone turned temperamental, "We invested our money in her!" he boomed as he stared daggers at Harry and his daughter.

    "Black City men hate being tricked, Harry," the other man said venomously. "You should know that very well..."

    "Please, please. Just please understand my situation and give me the chance to pay you back."

    "You were once a member with us, you're practically like family," the man said deceitfully. "Of course, the easiest way to fix your daughter's mistake would be to come back. Good day, Harry. Remember, if you return, we'll welcome you back with open arms," the man grinned vilely.

    "Thank you.." Vierra's father said as the men walked out the door.


    "This is why I wanted to wait Vierra! Now I've been put in some more serious debt! We already struggle enough with money as it is!" the man yelled having no sympathy for his daughter.

    "I didn't know it would be that hard!" Vierra said with a waterfall streaming down her face.

    "Your mother and sister are apart of this family too! They've taken up more hours to help out, and now this happens!" the man put his hands on his head as it continued to throb.


    "What you don't understand is those Fire-types can never become stronger then they already are! They just don't have the correct training and potential to, they could learn a million new powerful moves and never be good enough," the man said bluntly. "Just go to your room, I have to think."

    Vierra walked out of the living room disappointed. She sat on her bed looking at the walls, the cracked walls the rather empty room only filled with her bed, some clothes, and a dresser. She never had much, yet she chose to borrow money and take a gamble that put her family in even more debt, more debt to Black City men at that. On top of that her father had told her the truth, her Fire-type Pokemon just don't have the potential to become as strong as she hoped.

    "Am I really a bad trainer with weak Pokemon?"


    "Darumaaa," the two Pokemon comforted the sad crying girl as tears streamed down her feminine face. Heatmor in particular looked very torn up at its crying trainer. Vierra had finally accepted she was truly a failure. Humbling and harsh words were the only way to get it into her.


    Present Day Opelucid

    "Axewwww," the small Dragon jumped for Iris's attention as she picked him up, embracing him. Her eyes widened and her body began to shutter as she listened to Axew's heart. She began to speed off to the picnic site with Axew along with her. All she knew, from listening to Axew's heart, is something had or was going to happen to Drayden.

    "Drayden! Vierra!" Iris ran up to the picnic area nearly out of breath. "Draaaydeeen!" Iris huffed in between each syllable. She was in complete astonishment as she looked at the unconscious mayor, lying there. She bent over, noticing the dropped lemonade as well as a missing Vierra. "Drayden," Iris once again repeated herself in hopes she would get a response, she got closer. "Please wake up!" she worried. While in close proximity of Drayden's face, she smelled the scent of something very puzzling, very tangy yet cringe worthy in Drayden's breath.

    "Stun-Powder?" Iris said to Axew in a bewildered way. Stun Powder was an extremely saturated mixture of Stun Spore and Sleep Powder, this combination is commonly used to sedate people and Pokemon, usually in times of danger, or being used as a medicine to calm the nerves of anxious Pokemon or people. However taking this mixture in high amounts could be dangerous to one's system, it also could really throw someone in a bit of a deep unconsciousness. Iris wondered and wandered aimlessly, she then put two and two together and figured the latter happened.

    "Axew..." the Pokemon said concerned quietly.

    "Axew! Go to the forest and pick some Chesto and Cheri berries," Iris yelled. Axew simply looked on, unknowingly. "Berries that are colored red with greenish roots coming from them and another one that is blue and brown," Iris figured the description of the berries wouldn't be too hard to match, both were very common fruit among the forest, Axew darted off. Iris listened and looked, waiting over Drayden until Axew returned. She heard a stomping as she sat next to the knocked out Gym Leader, almost like a parade.


    Opelucid Hotel & Inn

    "What in," Clay grunted as he looked out the window at the streets. Many many people dressed in white-bluish uniforms that made them take on the appearance of knights stomped down the street. Civilians, the ones out at night, all looked on, some in fear, others not caring, some concerned, and many wondering.

    "The hell?" Clay said shaking his head in annoyance, anger, and disappointment at the sight. "Either way I'm obligated to do somethin' 'bout this," he stared at the Poke Balls sitting next to his hat on the table.


    Vierra waited in anticipation as a group of the same knight looking people walked toward her, she stood still on the street. Her eyes focused on the group of mysterious invaders who she only knew as, Team Plasma. A single man stood behind them, his clothes looked much different. He sported a robe and hat, the robe had the same marking as the knight looking members' uniforms.

    "When will I get what I want?" Vierra asked coldly.

    "Not right now," the man answered back equally as cold.

    "I took care of the Spartan Mayor! What more do you want?"

    "And you've done well. Just one more task and you'll get what you desire. Trust me."

    "What is this?! I'm not your damn slave!"

    "Now, now there," one grunt spoke up against the yelling girl, getting cautious.

    "Maybe it would be better if you knew exactly who I am," the man said, trying to calm down Vierra. "I am Ryoku of the Seven Sages, some of Team Plasma's higher ranked members. I am assisted by powerful Fire-type Pokemon in Team Plasma's pursuit of a new world, a world of liberation, a world of freedom, a world where Pokemon are free from the hands of selfish human beings like, Drayden. Since I am assisted by these Pokemon and you desire strength and power from them, doesn't that make us similar in a way? Help burn Opelucid City, the city of distrust and disgust, to the ground and I'll reward you with a powerful rare Fire-type Pokemon with quite a lot of potential," the sage offered.

    "First off, I don't give two shits about your 'Pokemon Liberation' or whatever but, that offer of a powerful Fire-type was promised to me before by you, don't give me any more task after this one is done," Vierra said as she walked away. Ryoku grinned under his thick facial hair.


    A woman wailed as she paced down the street.

    "Move faster," a teenage boy behind her said with much hurry.

    "Everyon' this way now now! Quit the panickin' and git," Clay said as he evacuated the area to the best of his ability.

    "You would think the supposed Gym Leader of Driftveil City would care about Pokemon," a Plasma grunt said from a distance. "I'll make you and those people release their Pokemon," he said as he tossed a Poke Ball toward the country businessman as a Patrat came out.

    "Really? Is that all ya' got?" Clay said mocking the grunt. "Lenora has one of those, yours on the other hand is lookin' mighty sorry," Clay said as he threw a Poke Ball at the ground, a rather strong looking crocodile like Pokemon appeared looking very vicious.

    "Bite," the Patrat jumped toward Clay's Krokorok ready to crunch down on the Pokemon's rough body, and so it did. Krokorok seemed hardly bothered though as Patrat bit down on its rough sandy reptilian flesh with its minuscule teeth.

    "Humph, sad sorry bunch you are. Show that there Patrat what a real bite is, Crunch!" the Krokork's teeth were embraced by a white shine as they smashed into Patrat's flesh knocking it out in one hit. "I was expectin' somethin' more, at least, now git outta this city!" he said as the grunt scrambled away from the scene, Clay couldn't help but grin confidently.


    "Axew," the Pokemon ran back to the unconscious man and young girl, Cheri and Chesto Berries in arms.

    "Great," Iris said as she accepted the fruit. "Axew, please mash this up with your claws," Iris said handing the Pokemon a Chesto Berry, grabbing a empty bowl from Vierra's picnic basket as she got another bowl for her own Cheri and a fork and knife to peel and crush the berry. She did the task with the best of speed she could muster at the moment.

    "Axe," the Pokemon worked.

    "Either way, Drayden's going to take a while to regain consciousness after eating this,"
    Iris thought. Her nose huffed, she smelled the distinct scent of something burning, char, something scorching. She looked up and saw smoke coming from the main area of the city.

    "Fire?" Iris said in surprise. "Axew! The mash up," the Dragon-type got up strutting over to Iris, handing her the bowl. Iris began to pour the Cheri mash into the Chesto mash, she walked over to Drayden silently, her nose still whiffing the scent of smoke and char, and spoon feed a small bit of the mush to the unconscious Dragon specialist. Vierra, fire, and an unconscious Drayden, Iris didn't know what to think.

    "It's no substitute for actual medicine, but Berries can do a lot," she said getting more comfy.

    "I'm gonna go check that out in the meanwhile," Iris said as she jolted off toward fire. "Stay here with Drayden."


    "More fire Heatmor, Darumaka," Vierra said sternly. She watched as her Heatmor and Darumaka spat fire at the area around them, joined by other Pokemon whom were all marked by cold and bitter eyes.

    "Excellent, excellent. The Team Plasma official fire squad is doing quite a nice job," one of the grunts said with slime in his voice as he snickered at the sight of the burning city.

    "What do you expect? Fire is a natural way of cleansing the world of its impurities, especially this disgusting city with people who don't liberate their Pokemon, vile human beings not deserving of life itself."

    Vierra simply continued to look on in silence, feeling slightly bad about her contribution to things, she was no murder, no pyromaniac, no killer. "I just want my payoff in the end, I don't associate myself with criminals like you."

    "In due time you will, and we are not criminals. We're heroes, there is a difference," the grunt explained. "Our future is supported by a man who truly wants the best for the world, if people are too blind to realize this, we're going force them to face the truth and open their eyes."

    "Yeah, yeah whatever," Vierra said uncaring.

    "We're almost done anyway," the grunt remarked. "We just need to head to the next area, it only requires one fire."

    "Whatever, let's go. Darumaka take care of it when we get there," she ordered to the small circular-bodied Pokemon.



    "Err," Clay said annoyed. "Fire and Team Plasma, dealin' with both. Where in tar nation is Drayden?" he wondered. "Hydro Pump, Sandstorm," he ordered as his Krokorok sent a funnel of dust and dirt toward a fire that was running near a house and his Palpitoad finished ridding Opelucid of one less fire embraced building.

    "Flamethrower, again! Reignite it," the grunt yelled to his Watchog as it launched another flame.

    "Hydro Pump," Clay's Palpitoad's jet of water intercepted the fire. "Bulldoze, Krokorok," the Pokemon began to violently stomp its foot into the ground and rushed toward the Watchog impacting it.

    "Super Fang!" the Watchog bounded toward Watchog with its strong teeth growing by twelve inches.

    "Again with puny lil' attacks like that. Punish it with Hydro Pump!" the toad aimed its blast of water at the Watchog, sending it careering into the grunt, who fell from the impact. "I guess the ol' savin' grace about you Plasma wranglers is you're pretty weak."


    "Errrh," Clay grunted once more as he heard the P.A. system announcement.


    Iris ran down the streets wildly, doing her best to get a grip on the situation. "Vierra! Vierra," Iris yelled loudly as she ran by a group of Plasma members.

    "Hold on little girl," one of them stopped her. "Where are you headed?" the grunt said eying the Poke Ball that peaked slightly out of Iris's pocket. Iris didn't respond. "All Pokemon will be liberated," he said as he released a Watchog. "Don't be difficult, and you can save us both a lot of grief," Iris looked at the situation feeling very nervous, she grabbed toward the Pokeball in her pocket and reluctantly looked at it and was about to toss it. She however made a wild dash around the grunt in an attempt to get away, she had succeeded and gotten past him, so she thought.

    "Flamethrower," the grunt said calmly, continuing to stand in place as his Watchog sent a flame spiraling toward Iris's path, effectively stopping her with a wall of fire.

    "Now, give me that Poke Ball," the man and his Pokemon approached her holding out one hand. Soon a jet of water assaulted the grunt and his Pokemon drenching them and pushing them back into a street pole. Iris looked over seeing Clay, the man she didn't really have a fond first interaction with, and his Palpitoad being her salvation.

    "Mud Shot! Sandstorm," the two Ground-type Pokemon sent a mixture of dirt, dust, and mud flinging toward the fire wall in front of Iris, expelling it.

    "Thank you," Iris said graciously.

    "Well I don't know why yer in a hurry, but it mus' be for a good reason. Ya looked lik' ya needed a hand. Speakin' of which where are ya headed?"

    "My friend! She's somewhere and I have to find her and make sure she's okay. I can't just leave her here," Iris said concerned. "I just helped fix up Drayden cause he was knocked out," Clay looked on grinning in surprise.

    "So yer the new firecracker Drayden's taken a shine to? In that case keep going, name's Clay by the way," Clay said approving. He didn't even want to know why Drayden was knocked out, Clay wasn't in the mood for a surely lengthy excuse.

    "Thanks," Iris said as she darted past Clay with a strong pace. Iris kept running getting to the far end of the city in around forty or so minutes, that part of the city wasn't really much ablaze barely at all and much more evacuated than the other parts. Iris soon made out a figure walking with one other Pokemon. She recognized the feminine shape of the body and height as her friend.

    "Vierra! I'm so glad you're safe, I was really concerned," Iris said sincerely.

    "Humph," Vierra said as her Darumaka somersaulted off a nearby building that burned heavily with fresh small flames. Iris soon put two and two together.

    "Vierra, please don't tell me."

    "It's exactly what it looks like Iris," she said slyly. Iris quickly back flipped back and grabbed at her pocket pulling out a Poke Ball.

    "Vierra! You're working with Team Plasma," Iris yelled at the top of her lungs.

    "But, of course. Team Plasma made me a nice offer I couldn't refuse," Vierra said jokingly.

    "Vierra! Stop this now and turn yourself in," Iris protested, not in the mood for any playful behavior.

    "I'm not doing that," she responded coldly.

    "Vierra! Do what I say or I'll be forced to take you on! Drayden loves this city, it's his home, how dare yo?!," she said with a strain in her voice pointing a Poke Ball toward Vierra. "I knew you were too nice for someone I just met!"

    "So I'm the bad guy, is that right?"

    "Do what I say, or else I'll take you in myself..." Iris threatened knowing very well it would be risky with Druddigon's current situation going on.

    "Go ahead," Vierra called her bluff as she lazily grabbed Heatmor's Poke Ball and simply enlarged and dropped it on the ground. The Anteater Pokemon materialized in front of Iris, staring her down with those predator eyes.

    "Druddigon," Iris reluctantly sent the Poke Ball sailing toward the skies. Druddigon came out looking at the current situation and its opponent. "Druddigon, you have to beat that Heatmor! It's very very important, trust me!" Iris said in support. The Cave Pokemon couldn't help but be intimidated by the Fire-type's malicious appearance. "Dragon Claw!" the Pokemon's claws glowed a slight bluish-white color as he reluctantly walked over, nervous.

    "Ha! Sucker Punch!" the Heatmor quickly sent a series of jabs toward the nervous Druddigon causing the Cave Pokemon's face to hit the dirt. "Pathetic Iris! That Druddigon's a coward, I already know, remember?" Iris began to sweat bullets.

    "Come on Druddigon, I know you're scared. But please stay strong!" Iris said in her head.

    "Dragon Cla-!"

    "Sucker Punch, more," Heatmor began to punch Druddigon's face a multitude of times. "This isn't even worth it anymore, I'm getting tired," Vierra said sadisticly. "Darumaka," the fire ape leaped in next to Heatmor.

    "It's all over," Iris thought in despair.

    "Heatwave and Overheat," Heatmor launched a large burning hot blaze of fiery oxygen, while Darumaka jetted a large blast of orange and yellow fire, both moves struck Druddigon enveloping him in complete heat. The Druddigon fell down to the ground, cooked from the intense Fire-types' double assault, Iris quickly returned the Cave Pokemon to its Poke Ball.

    "So, that's that I guess," Vierra said as she began to walk away from the scene.

    "Wait! Vierra! I'm not done with you yet!"

    "Oh, really," Vierra said as her Darumaka and Heatmor confidently stood behind her. The situation was looking very hopeless for a Pokemon-less Iris. She looked up at the other girl with a face full of struggle. "Your Druddigon was weak anyway, nothing but a potiental-less lameass."

    "Axew," the small Dragon showed up, running from a distance toward Iris. "Axew, Axew," the Pokemon continuously shouted and pointed at Vierra, giving her a sharp look as did Iris. Iris quickly grabbed and embraced the Dragon, closing her eyes and focusing on him.



    Axew starred from a distance on a tree nearby. "Just leave the Spartan Mayor to me. I'll take care of him, his little protegè shouldn't be much of a problem either. Some big haired girl with a fondness for Dragons."

    "Axxxxx," the Pokemon yelled but quickly contained its voice by putting both hands on its mouth, causing Vierra to look up at the tree alongside her Heatmor.

    "Well, have the Spartan Mayor either knocked out or dead before we start to invade."

    "That won't be a problem, I can at least use that girl to get close to him."

    "Axxxeee," the Pokemon gasped again and covered its mouth. Vierra looked up clearly agitated.

    "Heatwave!" Heatmor shot a blast of fire mixed air at the tree that was the source of the sound, Axew quickly had a reflex and evaded the fire by jumping to another branch, however a flock of Pidove scattered from under the tree, fleeing into the skies. "Annoying pest..." she screamed angrily. "In any case, the job will be done. Just make sure I get what I want."

    "You will in due time," the grunt said as he and another walked off. Axew quickly climbed down the tree and bolted toward the city.


    "So. Vierra you had this planned out from the start," Iris said getting angry.

    "But of course," Vierra taunted.

    "All the more reason for me to bring you down myself!"

    "With what? You have no Pokemon," Vierra said snobbishly. Iris had forgotten she had no Pokemon to use, thus couldn't battle back. Axew quickly broke into the scene.

    "Axew!" the Pokemon began to scream once again. Iris picked him up and felt his heart beat. "I...want...to..help...you...because..you..helped...me," the Axew's heart said loudly. Iris couldn't help but smile at the bravery of the Pokemon.

    "Okay! Axew, if your heart says so," the Axew smiled as he jumped out in front of the dual Fire-types, more then ready to battle.

    "You're gonna battle me with that? Really?" Vierra said. "I'm just gonna be fair since you're battling me with a pipsqueak with no potential," she continued to taunt as her Darumaka was sucked back inside its Poke Ball.

    "Dragon Rage!" the pint-sized Dragon's stomach glowed a translucent bluish aura as he shot a blast of anger charged energy at Heatmor.

    "Heatwave!" the two moves collided, Heatwave however quickly began to overtake Dragon Rage. "Just like I thought," the trail of fire began to close in on Axew, pushing back the Dragon-type's move as if it was simple child's play.

    "Forget it," Iris yelled as Axew quickly gave up the strength game and jumped out of the way, the fire slightly caught the evading Pokemon.

    "I told you that Axew has no potential, none of your Pokemon do! Put it out of its misery with Heatwave!"

    "Let's try Scratch," Iris ordered ignoring Vierra's taunting as Axew ran toward Heatmor, the Pokemon stood tall spitting fire in the Axew's direction. "Axew's got nice bounce," the Pokemon jumped out of the way and evaded the fire and jumped in range of Heatmor's face and raked the Anteater Pokemon's face viciously. "Nice Axew! You've got a lot of potential!" Vierra looked at Iris, looking vile.

    "Oh shut up!" Vierra yelled. "What do you know about potential anyway!?" Vierra snapped at Iris.

    "Vierra just stop! It isn't worth it," Iris yelled back.

    "Iris, shut up!"

    "Axew does have a lot of potential," Iris yelled once more in spite.

    "That's a laugh! Coming from someone like you! Drayden saw your potential! He's giving you a chance and trying to make you successful! You have someone helping you become a success! You could never recognize the true potential within someone when you've never gone it alone you pathetic joke!" Vierra boomed. Iris couldn't help but think a bit of her words, and simply sigh, part of her anger turning into sympathy.

    "Vierra..." Iris looked at the girl, "Is it possible underneath it all, you're just a sad person," Iris looked at the girl sympathetically.

    "I said shut it! Team Plasma, however, will make me successful by giving me a powerful rare Fire-type and I'll become the Fire star I was destined to be!"

    "So you are being used."

    "Shut up!" Vierra said as Heatmor spat a blaze at Axew once again, this time it hit Axew dead-on causing the Pokemon to fall to one knee in fatigue. Vierra sadistically took in the sight of a concerned Iris running up to Axew to tend to him, tears welled down Iris's face. Vierra was actually getting a bit of a joy out of it, until she was interrupted. Two Plasma grunts and Ryoku walked toward Vierra's direction as they appeared from down the dark light of the street.

    "Humph, I was wondering when you would show up," Vierra attempted to compose herself for her meeting. Iris looked on, the situation was even more hopeless for her, especially with four possible opponents to contend with.

    "So, did you accomplish your job?" Ryoku asked.

    "I did," Vierra said anxiously. "So where's my payoff?" this caused the Team Plasma members to look at her very hard, truly wondering what was going through her head.

    "You actually thought you were gonna get what you wanted?" a grunt said.

    "Haha," the second grunt laughed.

    "You dirty conniving double crossers! You owe me!" Vierra yelled.

    "Why would we even give you such a rare Fire-type?" Ryoku asked. "Selfish child, you pursue strength for your own selfish benefit. It's because of trainers like you that Pokemon are forced to fight these battles daily, trainers like you who want Pokemon for money or glory. Simply despicable."

    "Heatmor! Forget her for now," the Heatmor turned its attention to the grunts and Ryoku. "Darumaka," Vierra let the Pokemon out of its Poke Ball. "I'll take all three of you out then!"

    "What a sore loser," one grunt said as he and the other silently released two Pokemon from their Poke Balls. A rather unattractive Pokemon, its body and hands seemed to be the shape of mushrooms appeared. A rather small Pokemon that looked as if it was cocooned inside a small green leaf suit stood in front of Vierra's dual Fire-types as well.

    "Really? You're going to take on my Fire-types with those? You dug your own grave using Pokemon weak to both of mine!"

    "We have no time to deal with you. We'll leave it to your Pokemon," Ryoku said slickly. "Rage Powder!" the Amoonguss quickly shook its arms as a thick red hot dust appeared from its body and slowly moved toward Darumaka and Heatmor, embracing both Pokemon's body's heavily.

    "That didn't hurt them at all," Vierra said feeling invincible.

    "That wasn't the idea," the grunt said. Iris wondered what the effects of the powder were.

    "Return," the grunt said as Amoonguss was sucked back inside its metallic home. Heatmor and Darumaka quickly looked at each other looking angry and violent, sharp imposing predator eyes leered each other down. It was as if the Pokemon had a feud that had been going on for years, the knife staring game continued. Each got more and more uncontrollably temperamental with each second.

    "The heck?" Vierra wondered what was wrong with her Pokemon as they continued eying down each other angrily. "Crap!" Vierra said as she pulled out two Poke Balls. "Return Darumaka!" the fire monkey returned to its Poke ball. "Retur-" before Vierra could finish her word a small sticky thread snatched her empty Poke Ball and reeled it in.

    "And so you can't smooth return your way out of this situation," the grunt said as he detached the Poke Ball from the thread and threw it on the ground. Ryoku quickly lifted his foot and stomped it down on the Poke Ball with the best of his force multiple times until it was effectively crushed, a million shiny particles were scattered on the ground.

    "Liberation of a Pokemon from disgusting human beings like you is key for the future of Unova and Team Plasma, consider whatever you get from this point to be rightful punishment for your actions of your selfish behavior for your Pokemon. Your Pokemon have potential, you on the other hand don't," Ryoku said coldly.

    "Good night, Princess," the grunts and Ryoku walked away silently. Heatmor turned its attention to Vierra looking very angry. "Everyone may retreat, we have what we want," Ryoku talked into a small device on the collar of his robe, as he walked away with the grunts.

    "Heatmor, don't you remember the times we had together?" the Heatmor simply walked toward Vierra looking even more mad as time went on. "Remember how we caught Darumaka?" Vierra tried to appeal to the memories in her Pokemon futiley. "Heatmor?" the Pokemon took a quick swipe at Vierra, ripping her shirt slightly and sending her flying. Tears spilled out of her eyes.

    "Heatmor," Vierra hit the ground rather harshly, she laid there a broken sobbing mess. Her friend and fire Pokemon, had just hurt her. Iris watched in shock at all that had just transpired. Vierra continued to lay there, she looked out the corner of her eye noticing a purple worn out boot approaching her.

    "Well, I can't say I'm not embarrassed for falling for your rouse," Drayden bent down to Vierra lying on the ground picking her up slightly so she can at least see what was going on and sitting her near a building out of the way. "But, I do admit you did pull that one rather slyly," he said as he looked into Vierra's eyes. A large hopeful smile ran across Iris's face. A sense of bliss and okay behavior encircled her mind.

    "Drayden," Iris looked happily. "That berry mix mush did the trick!"

    "That it did, that it did." the Spartan Mayor smiled roughly.

    "Don't you dare hurt him..." Vierra muttered.

    "Iris has no ill intentions in regard to your Pokemon, that's obvious. I'm letting her mainly handle it, I personally would rather subdue that Pokemon before anyone got seriously hurt," Drayden said annoyed as he headed toward Iris.

    "Drayden! Drayden! Heatmor's being effected by some type of red powder, one of the Team Plasma guy's Pokemon used it."

    "Sounds like a douse of Rage Powder," Drayden speculated. "In any case," Drayden said as he held out a Poke Ball.


    "Sandstorm and Hydro Pump, again!" Clay ordered another round of fire killing attacks as they quickly doused another blaze. His Pokemon appearing very fatigued, being worked into the beginning late hours of the night didn't help, putting out fires especially. "Continu' the work," Clay encouraged his Pokemon. A Team Plasma aligned Venipede quickly jerked in Clay's Krokorok's direction. However a small jet of water knocked the Pokemon out with ease. Clay peered behind him.

    "You looked like you needed some help," a rather masculine man stood, brown hair and dark eyes with a long jacket on. He was joined by a group of Pokemon and firefighters, specifically a Blastoise, Swanna, Jellicent, Sandile, Samurott, and Drilbur. "Agent Looker, of the International Police," he held out his hand to Clay.

    "International Police Agent, eh? Tad late ain't ya?" Clay said from tired annoyance. One firefighter took the lead.

    "Everyone, converge on all fires within the city! Ground and Water formation," the firefighter boomed as all the Pokemon followed his word and quickly sprung into action. The Ground-types whipping up large amounts of dirt and earth to do away with the blaze and Water-types putting out the fires with ease, alongside Clay's Krokorok and Palpitoad.

    "The Team Plasma grunts as well," Looker ordered as some of the firefighters let out their non-firefighting Pokemon in an effort to rid the city of the remaining Plasma members. Clay simply looked at Looker and the amount of control he had, how quickly things were being handled. "I'll do my part as well," Looker said as he released a Croagunk from its Poke Ball. The poisonous frog's cheeks croaked causing them to inflate every few seconds, the Croagunk sported an International Police hat. Clay breathed a slight sigh of relief.


    Fraxure looked on, very enervated from all the punishment he had taken. Axew sat back near Iris, who still was feeling the effects of the dead-on Heatwave from before. Vierra just sat back, sleeping against a building stressed out, worn out, and wrung out.

    "Dragon Claw!" the Fraxure attempted to land another hit on Heatmor, but a slick jab was sent his way. The onslaught of Fire moves didn't help matters either, Heatmor indeed was putting all his anger and hate into his attacks.

    "What are we gonna do?" Iris wondered. "At least it's just Heatmor and not Darumaka too."

    "Vierra's Darumaka was hit by the Rage Powder too?"

    "Yep, but Vierra returned her to her Poke Ball before she could do any serious damage. Reminds me of what Clay said."

    "Well, little girl, ya might think ya know yer Pokemon. But things happen, out of yer control," Iris thought.

    "Not like we can do it now, Heatmor has no Poke Ball anymore. The Plasma guy smashed it," Iris said. An idea popped in her head however, causing her eyes to light up. "Maybe we could catch him?!"

    "Hm...it's possible. It technically is wild now," Drayden agreed with the idea. "Many Pokemon have been known to calm down and become less angry or agitated after being contained in a Poke Ball." Drayden dug in his pocket for one giving it to Iris, "You catch it at the right time," Heatmor came in for another Sucker Punch that darted the Axe Jaw Pokemon in the face, he resiliently got up however. "It just needs to be weakened," Drayden said. "Dragon Claw!" the Pokemon raked viciously at Heatmor.

    "Dragon Rage!" Axew spat another burst of raged Dragon energy at the enraged Heatmor as he hardly took too much damage but, fell back slightly.


    "Dragon Claw again," the Pokemon both began to claw at the Anteater in unison, teaming up with one another was clearly too much for the Heatmor to take, especially with his slower speed.

    "Okay! Poke Ball, go!" Iris tossed the sphere at the Heatmor as he was sucked inside. Drayden, Iris, Fraxure, and Axew looked on at the Poke Ball. The lone Poke Ball on the ground. It began to sway back and forth, anticipation fell on everybody around it. The Poke Ball broke open and the Heatmor appeared once more, even more angry as he kicked the Poke Ball in Iris's direction, it missed and she proceeded to grab it.

    "Still needs more weakening," Drayden muttered. "Dig!" Fraxure shoveled away at the earth underneath himself and dug toward Heatmor. Heatmor glared at his opponent, and was smart enough to get away in time as Fraxure attempted to unearth himself and uppercut the Anteater Pokemon. Iris looked at the hole, causing her eyes to light up again. Drayden continued to do battle with the Heatmor as Iris whispered to Axew. The Tusk Pokemon silently sunk down into one of Fraxure's holes.

    "Drayden..." Iris whispered, motioning to the hole. Drayden couldn't help but smile weakly at the cunning of Iris. "Dragon Claw!" Fraxure swiped at Heatmor, which caused him to back back a few steps to avoid the attack. This process was repeated for a while until Heatmor was nearly behind the hole.


    "DRAGON CLAW!" the two Dragon specialist had their Pokemon attack in unison. Axew jumped out of the hole and blasted Heatmor's backside, Fraxure slashed Heatmor's chest. The Anteater Pokemon had a grim look his face.

    "Poke Ball!" Iris hurled the sphere at the Fire-type, who was trapped inside it. Everyone, once again, had their sight fixated on the lone Poke Ball. The ball struggled but ultimately gave up as small amounts of light bounced off of it. T

    "Wooaah," Iris breathed a sigh of relief as Axew smiled at her, and went to talk to Fraxure happily. Fraxure gave Iris a high five and attempted once again with Drayden, but got no response as Drayden was uncaring. Iris joyfully hugged the Spartan Mayor.


    "And git!" Clay yelled as his Excadrill used Metal Claw and Looker's Croagunk used Poison Jab on a pair of Watchog, driving out the final Team Plasma grunt. Clay grunted roughly. "Finally over," he said as Palpitoad's Hydro Pump put out the final flame that was a monstrous blaze. The firefighters and firefighter Pokemon all looked on gladly and relieved.

    "So, how did this all happen?"

    "Err..it's a long story," Clay said earnestly as the sun began to shine and come up, signaling the morning had finally come.



    "Clayyyyy," Iris said relieved to find out the once mean man from before was alright.

    "Iris, Drayden, this is Looker of the International Police," Clay introduced the man. Drayden carried on his back an extremely tired and still sleeping Vierra.

    "So she's partly behind this, I'm assuming," Looker questioned them.

    "You assume correct," Drayden answered.

    "Listen! Vierra isn't that bad a person! She really was just being used the whole time."

    "True, she seems to have been a pawn in all this atleast," Drayden agreed with Iris.

    "We'll talk about it some more later, but if Drayden himself, the mayor of this city is vouching for her. Her case looks good. Right now, I suggest you take her to the nearby clinic, those wounds aren't too bad but she's extremely exhausted and might need care."

    "Right," Iris agreed as she and Drayden walked away. Clay couldn't help but grimace.

    Next Few Days

    "Good morning, Iris," Drayden commented as Iris had just made it back from a good night's rest in Opelucid Forest, leaving Druddigon at the Pokemon Center for some care over the last few days. The two walked toward the city exit together.

    "Morning," Iris said energetically.

    "Axew," the Axew followed closely behind her.

    "I hope you've enjoyed these two days of rest, because we're getting to training soon. Thankfully the city wasn't too damaged and is on the road to recovery."

    "So, what's the news on Vierra? Is she gonna be okay?"

    "She's going to be just fine. However her actions aren't going to be ignored, she will be punished to some extent. She's being forced to go back to her hometown and will be under strict watch. They even wanted to send her to prison, I however decided not to press charges. But, she will be punished more than this as well, it's not going to look too good when she's supposedly aligned herself with Team Plasma. She's on her way now, give this to her. Looker confiscated it," Drayden handed Iris Darumaka's Poke Ball.

    "Oh, I see. Good I have something to say before she leaves," Iris and Drayden waited for Vierra to arrive until she finally did. Vierra stood there, silent watched by International Policeofficers, being considered a threat somewhat to the wellbeing of many. "I hope you do okay and get yourself together," Vierra remained silent and ashamed as the International Policeofficers eyeballed her hard.

    "Well, I hope you don't forget these guys," Iris said holding out Heatmor's and Darumaka's Poke Balls. Vierra looked down at the Poke Balls, completely shocked and overjoyed as Iris handed them to her, especially at Heatmor's Poke Ball. Tears began to sprinkle down her face. "Luckily we managed to catch him."

    "Thank...you...Iris," Vierra's watery eyes gazed into Iris's eyes, almost looking into her soul. Soon both Pokemon appeared from their Pokeballs on their own, causing the International Policeofficers to get a tad cautious. Heatmor smiled at Vierra. Vierra looked at Darumaka, noticing she was much bigger then before. Surely this wasn't the same Pokemon now was it?

    "Hm, look at that, she evolved into a Darmanitan at some point," Drayden explained. Vierra was completely astounded.

    "If your Pokemon have no potential, would Darumaka have evolved?" Iris said.

    "Thank you..." Vierra started once again, feeling grateful to an extent.

    "No problem."

    "You..think..we..can..be..friends? In the future? Actual friends this time?"

    "I don't see why not," Iris exclaimed happily. "Remember, you make your own potential, don't let anyone tell you you can never be good enough dreams are important," Iris watched as Vierra was soon escorted away by the International Policemen and bidded a silent farewell to Drayden. Iris sadly looked on as Vierra walked away.

    "Now that that situation is out of the way, we can finally focus on the training. I bet you're getting hungry and are a still tired too?" Drayden said happily.

    "Sure am," Iris agreed as she and Drayden began to walk away.

    "Good, we'll head to my house for some food and rest," Drayden exclaimed which made Iris realize she had never visited Drayden's house, she had assumed his gym was his house. Either way she wondered what it would be like. Axew silently followed behind smiling.

    "Can't wait," Iris said as she thought about Vierra over and over again, truly hoping she would learn from her actions.

    "Well, I maybe the Spartan Mayor, but I need rest and food like you do," Drayden smiled under his thick mature beard. "In the meantime, we can talk about something important. Not to mention we have to get you ready for the meeting..."


    "Well, I certainly didn't count on Clay," Ryoku said earnestly. "We still obtained what we wanted though," he said holding out a rather old looking book. "While everyone was concerned with the outside, they completely neglected what might be going on in the inside of their precious city."

    "Excellent, excellent," a man with rather long green hair and a rob congratulated Ryoku. "At the very least, we can finally get more information on what we need."

    "Drayden's little apprentice however, she somehow revived him after he should have been unconscious for hours. One of my men reported that she stated those words as we walked away."

    "She's no immediate concern anyway, simply an immature absent minded child."

    "If she gets in my way again, I'll do away with her accordingly," Ryoku said coldly. "Or rather, I'll let one of the others handle it," he said as he looked on in the darkness of the castle. "Just like I would with any other foe of Team Plasma."
    Last edited by Bubble Frog; 10th June 2012 at 11:45 PM.

  15. #15
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Opelucid's Investments - Opelucid In Flames (Chapter 4)

    Vierra seems really selfish of a character.

    Also, could you explain to me that whole money/debt business - how does that work? I didn't get it.

    Overall, it was one solid chapter. Though I've never heard of Stun Powder or Rage Powder, haha. Team Plasma attack was something I didn't expect to happen so soon but I guess since this story will probably take place mainly around Opelucid, I should have saw that coming. I don't know what else to say. I'd be lying if I said that I don't think Vierra is selfish, because she is. She may be a nice person, deep down, but what she had done, it was not a nice thing. I get it, she was disowned for her mistake and then she did a much bigger mistake? I don't know, it doesn't feel right to me.

    Not to mention that no one in their right mind would trust one single word of that horrific Team Plasma.

    Oh, none of this is really bad criticism, it's just how I feel in regards to her character. ^^

    Also, it was very cool that Iris was able to see through Axew's memory!

    Solid chapter, but it felt rushed at some points. Anyway, keep it up! :D

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