Okamiden Kai: Chapter 1 & 2

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Thread: Okamiden Kai: Chapter 1 & 2

  1. #1
    Kagamine Revolution!!!! FullmetalSuicune's Avatar
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    Smile Okamiden Kai: Chapter 1 & 2

    Chapter 1
    The rising Sun
    A few months after the defeat of King Fury everything is peaceful in Nippon but then a Man got the power of darkness he name was Yami, Name after the dark lord he began killing everything in his path in the human world as he and his army tackle the home of the a girl the same age as Kuni home her name was Saurka, Yami came and killed her parents and as she see Yami she finds a sword on her bed.
    She takes and runs to find a small cage near the middle of the road Yami's army was running at the small cage then Saurka runs and gets the small cage, Yami's army is after Saurka then she out runs them and see a small wolf pup is in there "Is that?" Saurka whispered "The great Chibiterasu!" Saurka whispered the pup was Chibiterasu but what was it doing in our world? Saurka got Chibi out of the cage and then she learned that that Nippon was going to have to deal worst with this Yami guy, So Saurka travel with Chibi "So, if am going to help you with Yami I'll give you a name!" Saurka said Chibi knew it was going to be a stupid name. "What about buddy?" Saurka asked Chibi liked that name and barked "Okay, Pup it is!" Saurka said Chibi hated the name pup.

    Then Yami's army goes to a different place in the Human world where we meet Shinji! Shinji was a least 10 years older than Saurka. He had no Idea Yami was coming so he was playing a RPG, then he say a bug a huge looking bug "AH! BUG!" He screamed "Hey, kid quiet down your loud!" The bug said "A Talking Bug!?" Shinji said "I'm not a bug I'm Issun the 7th Celestial Envoy!" Issun said angrily "Issun?! I'm playing too much Okami!!" Shinji screamed "What’s Okami?" Issun asked "Are you talking about Ammy?" Issun asked Shinji ran to his bathroom and began to hit himself with a toothbrush "I'm going crazy!! Make it stop!" Shinji said "You aren't going crazy you nut head! I'm real!" Issun yelled "Shut up!" Shinji whispered Issun sliced Shinji's eye "OWW!!!" Shinji said "See you aren't going crazy, and shut up that didn't do anything!" Issun said It only a little cut. Issun told Shinji about the Yami's army going to attack Nippon so Issun gives Shinji a sword and then they begin traveling together but how they going to get to the Okami world? Only time will tell next chapter...
    Chapter 2
    Chosen ones
    As our heroes continue their quests we now look at old friend of Chibi a young boy named Kuni, but for now let’s go see Saurka and Chibi "So pup how are we going to get to your world you lived over a million years ago." Saurka asked Chibi didn't do anything ".....Pup I asked a question? Are you okay?" Saurka asked Chibi didn't do anything "Okay, I'm guessing you know how we can get to your world!" Saurka said to Chibi Then Sayuka appeared "Chibi you brought her here!" Sayuka said surprisly "YOU KNOW ME?!" Saurka said surprised

    "Yes, I do." Sayuka answered "When you were born I choose you as one of the two chosen ones." Sayuka said "CHOSEN?!" Saurka said surprised "Yes, you and a young man are the only ones who believe in the Gods in your world." Sayuka said "It doesn't seem that he here." Sayuka said looking around for him. "So, I have one question." Saurka asked "Yes?" Sayuka said "How did pup here get in the human world in the first place? same with you to and how is this other guy going get here?" Saurka asked with her hands crossed. "Well...you see Chibi and Issun's ship got hit by a army and they fell in the time waters, A pond that is hard to find and they came here to the this world...I can see Issun and Chibi lost each other so I have a feeling that Issun is with Shinji." Sayuka said "Shinji the other guy, Shinji was does that name sound so alike." Saurka whispered "Yes, young warrior of Kuni."

    Sayuka said "WARRIOR OF KUNI?!" Saurka said surprised "Sorry, I forgot that part...you see the reason I choose you was because I had a dream that you would have to do something with Kuni."So you’re telling me I'm a chosen one all because I'm a believer and that I going to have something to do with this Kuni guy." Saurka said "Yes." Sayuka answered Saurka got out her sword a asked Sayuka "If you know about me so much, how did I get this?" Saurka asked ".....I don't know what is, I'm sorry." Sayuka said "its okay, I just a have a feeling who ever gave me this really knew me." Saurka said. Now it’s time to go to Kuni, Kuni was traveling to so far Kamiki village. Then a bunch of demons appear Kuni takes out his sword and hits it but nothing happens "What?" Kuni said looking at his sword. Then the demon hits Kuni and his sword breaks Kuni bleeding really badly "How can there be demons here?" Kuni thought......"Sayuka! We made it!" Issun said happily "It’s about time I was getting worried." Sayuka said. "Sorry, Mr. Crazy here toke too long to pack." Issun said "Shut up! You don't even know what I got!" Shinji yelled "So you’re Shinji." Saurka said "Yup, so why are you here?" Shinji asked "She one of the chosen ones." Sayuka said cheerfully. "Great a girl." Shinji said sadly "A strong one!" Saurka said "I saved little pup here from a group of demons." Saurka said while petting Chibi. "Really, well I have a sword." Shinji said "So do I" Saurka said showing him her sword. "Wow." Shinji said. Next time our chosen ones go

    to the Okami world and find Kuni!
    Last edited by FullmetalSuicune; 7th May 2011 at 02:08 PM.

  2. #2
    Something for nothing Cyber Jet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okamiden Kai: Chapter 1 & 2

    Liking the story and plot so far but it would help alot of you broke up those two massive chunks of text into smaller paragraphs as it would make it alot easier to read over all.

    And also when some one speaks its a good idea to put it a space under the text and then the next person speaking a space under that and so on...

    Also when Sayuka says "CHOSEN?1" there is a one there instead of a "!".
    Last edited by Cyber Jet; 7th May 2011 at 02:25 PM.

  3. #3
    Kagamine Revolution!!!! FullmetalSuicune's Avatar
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    Smile Okamiden Kai: Chapter 3 & 4

    Chapter 3
    Kuni
    Our chosen ones continue their quest and they are still with Sayuka, "So how are we going to get to Nippon you never told me, Sayuka.

    Saurka asked "Oh! Yes well thanks to your world you have boats!" Sayuka said "So, you have boats to." Shinji said. "This isn't just a regular boat!" Issun said "It’s a wooden boat!" Shinji said cheerfully. "No! This boat can go underwater without us drowning!" Issun said and jumped on Shinji shoulder. "Get off! Issun!" Shinji said "I'm sorry she’s traveling on Chibi!" Issun said madly. "Fine..." Shinji whispered. "Oh yeah! I'm Saurka!" Saurka said. They got on the boat (Sayuka did to) and they sailed. "So, where going?" Saurka asked. "The Sea of Time." Sayuka said. "Sea of Time?" Shinji said "It’s how we got here." Issun said. Then they stopped "What’s going on?" Saurka asked Sayuka. "Where going to Nippon." Issun said, then they went underwater and they saw a hole. Then they entered Nippon. "So this is Nippon." Shinji said. "Yep and there a...." Saurka said looking a little talk and saw a young boy hurt really badly "It’s a boy! Saurka got off the boat and ran to the boy. "SAUKRA! WAIT UP!" Shinji yelled "KID STAY WITH THE GROUP NUMBER ONE RULE!!!" Issun yelled Chibi barked loudly. "Stop, Sayuka said to Issun and Shinji "She trying to save a boy's life." Saurka came to the boy and got down on a knee and put her hand on his forehead and tested if his heart was pumping, It was he was alive. "Hello? Are you alright?" Saukra asked the boy eyes slowly opened. "Huh?" the boy said "Are you okay?" Saukra asked the boy got up and laughed. "Are you kidding! I'm the greatest warrior ever! Kuni said

    proudly "Kuni?! That’s the boy that Sayuka said about!" Saurka thought. Chibi came and began licking Kuni, Kuni fell down "Hehehehe that tickles" Kuni said and relies it was Chibi he began crying "MUTT!" Kuni said and hugged Chibi. Saukra smiled, Chibi got off Kuni. "Here I'll help you up." Saukra pick up Kuni's hand and then Kuni blushed. Kuni got up and still was blushing "What’s wrong?" Saukra asked. "Nothing! Nothing at all!" Kuni said nervously. "Oh, Kuni." Sayuka said "Hey, Sayuka." Kuni said Sayuka met up back at Kamiki village. "I need to stay here." Sayuka said

    "Issun please help Shinji." Sayuka asked "Sure." Issun said. "I know it!" Saukra said "huh?" Everyone said beside Sayuka, then they all looked at Saukra. "I'll travel with Pup and Kuni and Issun you go with Shinji we'll get more done!" Saukra said. "True." Shinji said "Okay, Its official then!" Issun said "You three go to Se'an city." Issun said "As for me and Shinji here we'll go to The Cave of Nagi!" Issun said cheerfully. "What do you think Kuni?" Saukra asked Kuni. "Sure!" Kuni said. As our heroes go the Se'an city to find a old friend and find out how killed Saukra's parents back in the human world, And find out why there demons everywhere!

    Chapter 4
    The old friend

    As our heroes continue their quest, they land in Se'an city where they are going to meet up with a friend and a answer to their question.
    "So this is Se'an city! WOW!" Saurka said "Yep. you think this is cool you haven't seen anything, Your world must not be like this." Kuni said "It was at one point." Saurka answered with a giggle "AH!!" A woman said "DEMONS!!!" A woman said again. "We need to help her! Saurka said and toke out her sword and ran to defeat the demons and Chibi does too. "Saurka she not just a warrior she something else." Kuni thought. "KUNI I GOTTA NEED SOME HELP!" Saurka yelled Kuni ran to the demons and they defeat the demons. "Bless you, children." The woman said. "No Problem." Kuni said "You remind me of a young blonde boy I saw today he was also fighting demons like you three." The woman said "Blonde boy!" Kuni said "Could that be Kurow?" Kuni thought.

    "No way he dead!! How could he?" Kuni said "Kuni? what are you talking about? Saurka asked "Nothing..." Kuni answered. The Woman left and went in her home. "YAMI WILL RULE!" A voice said "Yami?" Saurka said "Dude your crazy." A different voice said. "Is that?" Kuni said and then Saurka walks up to the person. "Saurka!" Kuni whispered and pulled her arm. "Saurka don't scare me like that! We don't know who this Yami loving dude is!" Kuni whispered. "Quiet, I'm trying to find out!" Saurka whispered. "HEY! KID WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME FUNNY!?" The man yelled "Um..Sir...."Saurka said nervously The man came up to Saurka and punched her "YAMI WILL RULE! SAURKA!" The man said "SAURKA!!" Kuni shouted and ran to Saurka. Saurka got up and then the man began chasing them. "RUN!!!" Saurka said they ran away from the man then Saurka tripped and a young boy was standing near Saurka. "Are you okay dude?" The boy said

    Saurka gets up and the young boy saw her face. "Hi....I'm Kurow and your pretty." Kurow said "WHAT!? ARE YOU?!" Saurka said out loud. Chibi jumped on Kurow and began licking him. "Oh. It’s you dude!" Kurow said laughing "Kurow, I thought you died." Kuni said "Hehehehe stop dude that tickles!" Kurow said laughing. Kurow got up and said "So, whats is your name pretty girl?" Kurow asked "PRETTY!!" Kuni said angrily "My name is Saurka; I'm guessing your Kurow." Saurka said while getting up. "What a beautiful name and you know me? It’s like we were made to meet each other." Kurow said "HEY! KUROW! HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE STOP FLIRTING WITH MY SAURKA!!!!" Kuni yelled at Kurow. "What was that? You’re Saurka." Kurow said. "NO I DIDN'T SAW THAT!! KUROW WHY ARE ALIVE!!" "Why am I alive, to meet this pretty girl." Kurow said joking "STOP TALKING ABOUT MY SAURKA JUST TELL US ABOUT WHY ARE YOU ALIVE!" "My Saurka?" Kurow said "never mind.." Kuni said "Well I came on this earth again because, I don't know." Kurow said "Great." Kuni said sadly.
    Later at night while they were somewhat camping. "Kuni what did you say about me when you were talking to Kurow?" Saurka said quieting "Nothing" Kuni said nervously "Okay, night Kuni." Saurka said to Kuni.

  4. #4
    *rules with cotton fist* Kayi-chan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okamiden Kai: Chapter 1 & 2

    You haven't listened to the warnings given to you, so your thread will be closed unless you comply in separating each chapter into a post and keeping all your story in a single thread (for the moment, your story is already merged into a single thread). Please, do not ignore a moderator's order.

    2010/08/02: 4th chapter

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  5. #5
    Kagamine Revolution!!!! FullmetalSuicune's Avatar
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    Smile Okamiden Kai: Chapter 5

    Chapter 5
    The story inside love
    We continue our story with Shinji and Issun lost sadly, “I’m telling you, Issun the cave of Nagi this way!” Shinji said pointing. “No, wait….” Issun said looking at Shinji and began laughing “ISSUN!! COME ON!! LET’S GO THIS WAY!!” Shinji shouted angrily “I’m sorry! It’s just that!-” Issun said while laughing “WHAT IS UP WITH YOU! ANY TIME NOW YAMI GOING COME!” Shinji yelled “Sorry I can’t you seriously! We look so like Waka!” Issun said out loud “HOW DO WE ALIKE WE BOTH BLONDES, THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE LOOK ALIKE!” Shinji shouted
    “Are you two lost?” A voice said “Is that?” Issun said
    “You two look like I seen you before.” The voice said “Well we been here for 5 hours standing here.” Shinji said “So you are lost! Well I’m the great warrior Susano!” Susano said “Great, no this guy again.” Issun said going on Shinji shoulder. “Hahaha, The cave of Nagi this way and the village is this way!” Susano said. “Thanks, but we don’t need help.” Shinji said “YES WE DO WERE LOST!” Issun shouted in Shinji’s ear. “Sorry, Susano you can go sleep now we don’t need any help.” Issun said “SLEEP?! That’s the thing I’m going to be doing.” Susano said “What are you talking about?” Issun said “Hahaha, you did hear did you.” Susano said laughing. “Can you just tell us?” Issun shouted “Okay, but be quiet, It’s at my house.” Susano said.
    Susano guided Issun and Shinji to his house. “Take a look.” Susano said
    What they saw was a baby sleeping in a little bed, “It’s a baby.” Issun said “A little girl.” Susano said putting his hand on her forehead. “We haven’t name here yet.” Susano said “It’s just so hard to come up with a name for her. Susano said beginning to cry “Because she very sick.” Susano said crying “Sudoku” Shinji whispered “What?” Susano asked “Sudoku it’s my sister name she also died, but It was for love.” Shinji said Susano, Issun and Shinji went outside the house. “Ever since Kuni left I had been trying to keep good care of our pride of joy.” Susano said “What about Kushsi?” Issun asked “She helping to but we still have to keep up the sake business, so she going around Nippon and selling her sake.” Susano said “Bummer, how she get the sickness?” Issun asked “We aren’t too sure.” Susano said. “Sad, your joy has a sickness, Have you tried taking her to Dr. Redbread?” Issun asked.
    “It’s too far and plus we have no money.” Susano said. Shinji gave Susano a bag. “Take it. It’s a story my sister use to read to me when I was little.” Shinji said with the story book in his hand. Shinji and Issun left the village and head to cave of Nagi. Will Susano and Kushi’s baby live? Stay tuned
    Last edited by FullmetalSuicune; 8th May 2011 at 03:15 PM.

  6. #6
    Kagamine Revolution!!!! FullmetalSuicune's Avatar
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    Default Okamiden Kai Chapter 6

    Chapter 6
    Kurow’s Prayer
    “If Saurka is one of the chosen ones, than she the next you know what.” A voice said “Yes, It is her destiny.” A voice said it was Sayuka’s voice. Saurka woke up “I’M A?!” She shouted and the end of her feet. “Saurka, what happen?” Kurow asked, Saurka was huff and puff. She stooped and looked at Kurow “Nothing just a little weird dream.” Saurka said smiling Kurow went back to sleep. Saurka looked at Chibi sleeping, and smiled “It has something to do with you pup, that’s mean a good thing.” She thought. The next morning Saurka yawned “Kuni”. Saurka whispered “huh?” Kuni said half asleep “Where Kurow?” Saurka asked. Kuni was fully awake “Kurow gone!” Kuni said “Me and pup have been looking everywhere for him but it no good.” Saurka said Kuni got up and began looking. Then they split up. Saurka heard a voice; it was Kurow’s voice she peeked at Kurow, Kurow was praying. “Please, make sure that girl I remember has a nice family and to not worrying about me and for also for Yami not to kill anyone from this world or a different.” Kurow prayed “Kurow knows about Yami and I didn’t even tell him.” Saurka thought Kurow turned around. “Sorry, but Kurow we were looking for you everywhere.” Saurka said blushing “I have been here for a while, love.” Kurow said walking to Saurka. “Thanks for not causing any trouble.” Saurka said “No, problem love.” Kurow said “Saurka! Did you find him?” Kuni shouted to Saurka “Yeah! He right here!” Saurka said. Saurka pulled Kurow’s hand and began running to Kuni and stopped and turned around to Kurow. “You know about Yami don’t you.” Saurka asked “Um…..yeah.” Kurow said nervously. “It’s alright, Yami killed my family.” Saurka said trying to cheer Kurow up. “I come from a different world, a world where Yami already destroyed my home and my world.” Saurka said “A different world?!” Kurow said quietly. “Yes, Its sound crazy but yes.” Saurka said calmly “SAUKRA! COME ON!” Kuni shouted. “Coming, Kuni!” Saurka said she let go of Kurow’s hand and put her hands on his shoulders “Listen, Kurow I trust you and Kuni told me how you died before, how did you come back?” Saurka asked “Try to remember.” Saurka said “I….remember a girl and her family praying at a grave, and then a star pasted.” Kurow said “A star!” Saurka said letting go of Kurow’s shoulder. “A wishing star, so she wished for him to come back to life.” Saurka thought Saurka and Kurow went back to Kuni and Chibi, but then Chibi notice that Saurka look sad. Chibi began licking Saurka “Hahaha Chibi that’s tickles.” Saurka said laughing. As our heroes go back to Kamiki village to check on Shinji and Issun but who was that girl that Kurow was talking about? Stay tuned.

  7. #7
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okamiden Kai Chapter 6

    Soooo... where are the first 5 chapters?
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  8. #8
    *rules with cotton fist* Kayi-chan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okamiden Kai Chapter 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Sazand*ra View Post
    Soooo... where are the first 5 chapters?
    In other topics, which is against the rules. They shall be merged shortly.

    2010/08/02: 4th chapter

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