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  1. #1
    Registered User Maya Oak's Avatar
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    Default Oh boy... Parents: A contestshipping fic

    Okay May, Drew, Harley, and Solidad are all in Johto and each of them place a call to there parents. Both of them get a couple of surprised from there parents
    This was going to be part of a story called The Bet but never wrote the rest because of a writers block



    “Hey mom,” said May to her mother into the phone. Today was going so far so great, and it was her mom's birthday.

    “Hi sweetie how are you? Everything is fine and dandy?” she asked smiling at she said that. May smiled too and giggled.

    “Everything is okay here. Hi Max,” she said smiling to her brother. He just pulled himself up to the screen to see his sister.

    “Are you still with Solidad, Harley, and Drew still?” he asked disgusted when he said Harley's name. He never liked Harley ever since he first tricked May. Now he had this vendetta against Harley.

    “Yea I'm actually staying at Robert's house. You know the guy who won the Hoenn grand festival.”

    “I remember him he helped Ash's snorut evolve into a glalie. So how did you end up there?” He though it was better May was with Robert then with Harley, or with anybody at that matter.

    “He lives in Johto and he took us home when the Pokemon center ran out of rooms,” she said and looked into her mother's hand. “Hey mom is that a copy of Pokemon poetry by Luna Donahue? Now known as Luna Singer?”

    “Yes it is, May you know all I've been reading is her poetry,” said Caroline confused.

    “Well Robert's sister happens to be Luna Donahue,” said May. Caroline's eyes grew wide when she saw the author sitting right next to her daughter. “I know your birthday is tomorrow and I won't be there. So while I was here I thought to call you and have her personally wish you happy birthday.”

    “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” said Luna to her mother. Caroline looked faint and surprised. “I even signed a copy that's in the mail.”

    “Wow May thank you for the birthday present. Luna Donahue Singer wished me happy birthday,” said Caroline surprised. Drew leaned into a bit so Solidad could wish her happy birthday too.

    “Thank you so much Luna I wish I could talk longer--”

    “It's that Drew?” asked Max who spotted him.

    “Oh so I get a better look at May's crush,” said Caroline. "I remember both of your two were alone at the beach. Wasn't that so sweet? I remember May going on when she came home. She said well I was thinking of traveling through Johto and maybe finding Drew and the others." Both May and Drew's eyes grew wide at this.

    “Okay I have to see this boy,” said Norman who walked into the room behind them. May was ready to throw the phone at the wall for what her mother was saying.

    “Okay mom I have to let you go. Harley, Solidad, and Drew all have to call there mom's,” she said hastily. She was not going to have her dad question Drew in front of all of her friends. Just hearing her mom say that was bad enough.

    “Okay Drew why don't you call your mom next?” asked May ducking her head so nobody could see her blush. Mara and Cara, Robert's sisters, saw but said nothing and showed her both of them zipping there lips.

    Drew called his mom and the first person who picked up was his older brother Tim picked up the phone. He looked at his brother like he had never seen him before.

    “Drew COME HOME NOW!!” he said pressing his hands to the screen. “I can't take it, Hallie and Callie are driving me up the wall! All they want to listen to is DisneyMania junk. If I have to hear a rendition of the song Kiss the Girl one more time I will scream," he said tugging at his hair. He looked close to loosing it too.

    “Tim I just want to talk to mom--” Tim looked at him and then at the people around him crowding around the screen.

    “Is that? Is that a girl with you? Wait there's 4 of them with you. One is way to old for you, and the other two are to young. Oi MOM DREW HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!' he screamed facing away. Behind him two girls, that was Hallie and Callie, were singing. Both of them were pretty cute with turquoise hair and wide green eyes.

    “Oh Drewie who is she?” asked his mother and Drew slapped a hand to his forehead. May blushed and muttered something incoherent.

    “Mom I just called to say hi, and that I'm fine--”

    “Just answer one question: is she pretty?” asked Hallie, or was it Callie?

    "Guy's please, just be quiet and let me know I'm okay?" asked Drew pleading a bit. But the twins kept on singing Kiss the Girl and Someday My Prince Will Come. May and Drew where blushing and then Drew just slammed the reciever back.
    I'm a James fan! I love shipping and the Pokemon anime

  2. #2
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh boy... Parents: A contestshipping fic

    Very nice start! I enjoy reading contestshipping just because it really brings me back to one of my favorite times in the anime :)

    I like your dialog and the liveliness you give May and the gang. One suggestion I might have would be to take some time and give more description and imagery as to what is happening around them. Much of your story is dialog back and forth, which is well handled for sure, but it might be good to add more meat to the bones so to speak.

    Other than that, I really think this is a great start. Keep it up! :)

  3. #3
    Registered User Maya Oak's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh boy... Parents: A contestshipping fic

    Quote Originally Posted by Legacy View Post
    Very nice start! I enjoy reading contestshipping just because it really brings me back to one of my favorite times in the anime :)

    I like your dialog and the liveliness you give May and the gang. One suggestion I might have would be to take some time and give more description and imagery as to what is happening around them. Much of your story is dialog back and forth, which is well handled for sure, but it might be good to add more meat to the bones so to speak.

    Other than that, I really think this is a great start. Keep it up! :)
    Thank you! I actually added tons more that led up to a story called The Bet but I wasn't so sure about posting it all and the fact that I had the first three chapters and then Poof: I didn't really have the rest planned. If you want me to post the rest let me know.
    I'm a James fan! I love shipping and the Pokemon anime

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