You know, I didn't realize that you started this fic seven years ago when I first read it, until I noticed the date.
I was like, "OMG you're persistent".
(I also had oodles of other comments, but they got erased when I refreshed the page. >_<)
I assume you wanted a 10-scale rating, given that you posted your request on the comment page of my blog post about 10-scale ratings.
While it's nothing too far out of the ordinary, it's enough to want me to read to the end.
It jumped a bit from Chapter 3 to Chapter 4. I couldn't really tell where the two were connected. I know it's supposed to be a dream sequence that doesn't really make sense, but there isn't even much of an event to lead into it. It just sorta jumps.
I don't know much about Jiri besides the fact that he was the guy who tried to capture Lugia in the second movie. But the picture you paint of him as a child, losing his mother is awesome.
I could imagine myself in Jiri's perspective, going through all of that stuff that he went through in the story.
Also, Asaph. After seeing how he treated the Milotic, there was just something... wrong with him. It's probably what rubbed off in Jiri by the second movie.
Grammar, style, and flow: 9/10
There's even some characterization in your word usage! That in itself is awesome, something you don't readily see in fics around here.
I imagine it's simply because you decided to do it in the first person. That always helps with characterization, especially when you're doing a story that revolves around a character.
That Ralts was pretty funny as well. XD
I noticed that your chapters are getting longer and longer. You must have a lot more to say.
Update frequency: 1/10
I just had to do this CX (<- that's a smiley, BTW.)
Overall rating: 83/100
Right up there with Roots and Field Research.
(The update frequency rating was a joke. It doesn't count here ^_^)