Obsession
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  1. #1
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Default Obsession

    (Is this *POSSIBLE*? A Blackjack-written, Jiri-angst fic where he *DOESN'T* die? Well...it's a *step* in the right direction, at any rate...This is my rather well-known backstory for Jirarudan, and I hope you enjoy it.)



    obsession: a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling...


    Why do I do it? What is it about Collecting that keeps me in its clutches? Is it as simple as greed?

    I doubt that. If it was pure greed, I would not feel like this. No, it is an addiction.

    Every time I think about it, I lose a little bit of my humanity. Someday I shall be completely at its mercy, unable to connect with any aspect of the man I once was.

    Perhaps you think me harmless, despite my disconnection. I ask you, would a harmless man have done what I did? I do not know which of us is the bigger fool, you, for thinking such things, or me, for allowing myself to become this.


    Perhaps I should begin from the beginning. My earliest memory is a simple enough one. I was looking through my mother's heirloom chest with her, and came across a small envelope. With her permission, I opened it.

    The contents of that envelope changed my life forever.

    Inside was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Even in the dim light of the attic, it shone with its full magnificence and splendor.

    Entranced, I turned my eyes towards my mother, who smiled. "That's the Ancient Mew card, dear. You can have it if you want. But be careful with it, it's very valuable."

    If it was important enough to merit a warning, I knew it had to be very special. From that moment on, it was, and still remains, my most treasured possession.


    My mother was a wonderful woman. She was tall, with a shock of emerald hair, and eyes that reflected the universe. She was a healer, studying the restorative powers of herbs and plants, and the entire world respected her.

    Except my hometown. We lived far from any respectable place, on a the distant shore, where such mysterious practices were considered to be the domain of lesser people. Her potions and elixirs were effective, to be sure, but the townspeople always regarded us with scorn. During the day, they would turn their backs on us and curse us when we left, but at night, they would sneak out and purchase her wares. Hypocrites. I learned very young to be distrusting.

    Mother was the opposite. She told me that everyone has good within them, but I did not believe her. Oh, mother, how you would recant if you saw me now! But I digress...

    When I was but eight years of age, Mother took ill. She sent for my father, who lived apart from us, and warned me that she may leave me soon. One day, she called me to her bedside, and removed the red ring from her finger. "Jirarudan," she addressed me, "this ring has been in my family for many years, and I want you to have it." She put it gently in my outstretched palm, and smiled weakly. "Jiri, when you feel alone, clutch the ring, and I'll be there."

    My eyes widened in shock. She was dying, and this was her way of telling me. It was no longer a possibility, but a cold fact.

    "Jiri, dear," she continued, "I want you to know something, and carry it with you forever." Her voice was getting fainter, and her eyes drooped shut. I lay down next to her and hugged her. "You've always been my shining star," she whispered.

    "I'll be your angel."

    And with that, she was gone.
    Last edited by Blackjack Gabbiani; 29th November 2008 at 12:03 AM.

  2. #2
    You know, for kids! A Concerned Solomon's Avatar
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    Well, that's certainly different. The definition at the beginning was good two.

  3. #3
    Virus equals very yes Kinglerlord2's Avatar
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    G'day g'day,

    I am a strange entity that you will see floating around regularly. Call me K2.

    I have to say that I love this. While it's quite short, the style is captivating and you've captured the soul of the 8 year old in the memory extremely well.
    Don't wait for the light at the end of the tunnel.
    Go down there and light the bloody thing yourself!


    WEASLEY IS OUR KINGLER!

  4. #4
    Goronda Type Vice-Webmaster Evil Figment's Avatar Vice-Webmaster
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    You know what I'm goign to say, don't you?

    Great fic. It's a wonderful start on conveying Jiri's story. Keep it up :).

    Yeah, I wish I had more to say ^^;;.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mintaka and Hurristat
    He's an evil director / He'll give out infractions / Do something wrong / And he takes direct actions
    Then what'll he do?/ He'll permaban you / You find your name slashed / With a message, 'Adieu'
    Sooooo...watch out!
    "It is said that the federal government, if it was in charge of the Sahara, would run out of sand in five years. Private enterprise, being more efficient, would do it in half the time - and they'd make money off the bridges." - me.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton's last letter. Rest in peace, Jack.

  5. #5
    The Boss's Pet Ket Makura's Avatar
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    Wow...I'm so stunned you didn't kill the dear boy off this time that I don't know what to say! No, I'm kidding! Don't hit!

    I'm so glad you took the time to create a past for Jiri! Most people tend to just stick him with whomever they see fit, and have him as the Angst Monster.

    Great job, Blackjack! I love it, as I love all your work.
    Your Service,
    Ket Makura

    Any one emotion,
    Any true devotion,
    Anytime, anywhere.


    Scaring people with my avatar since 2003.

    Twisted Every Way

  6. #6
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Ketsurui
    and have him as the Angst Monster.
    ...which is my specialty. *g* And there *is* a reason I think he's like that, too. It's on the "Theories" page of my site, but also I'll get to it later in this fic...

  7. #7
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    (Chapter two! At the time, this was all I had written.)




    I stayed with her for hours, my young mind unable to comprehend life without her. Finally, I came to the conclusion that it was simply a bad dream, and if I went to sleep, I would awaken in the true world, and she would be there, and everything would be all right. So I curled up and slept for what I later discovered was two days.

    When I awoke, I was in my own bed, and my first reaction was joy. I was right, it was only a dream. But then I heard voices outside my room.

    "He's going to have to live with his father from now on." "Oh yes, the poor thing. But maybe now, he can grow up right."

    If they saw me now, they, too, would recant.

    I curled up into a ball, clutching the ring to my chest. Mother, you told me you'd be there for me. Where were you when I needed you the most? My hands shook, and I choked back sobs, for I feared what would happen if the women outside heard me.


    I spent the night like that, sobbing quietly to myself, with the ring to my heart. Early in the morning, I heard someone at the door. My father had arrived.

    As the door to my room opened, I ducked down into the covers and pretended to be asleep.

    "I can wait," he said. Slowly, I opened my eyes and peeked out. He smiled, and knelt down at the bedside. "Jiri, I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier. My work kept me away until now. I'm just...sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her."

    "Papa..." was the only word I could say. I tried to hold them back, but the tears flowed freely now. He took me in his arms and stroked the back of my head, whispering softly to me. And only then could I return to sleep.
    Last edited by Blackjack Gabbiani; 29th November 2008 at 12:04 AM.

  8. #8
    Virus equals very yes Kinglerlord2's Avatar
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    As Requested! ^^

    The second part is a little short but it does excellently portray the quiet desperation of the child. You do good work with emotion.
    Don't wait for the light at the end of the tunnel.
    Go down there and light the bloody thing yourself!


    WEASLEY IS OUR KINGLER!

  9. #9
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Thank you!

  10. #10
    Manga Sam Fangirl Revolutionary Girl's Avatar
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    Heh. Thought I'd actually reviewed this, but guess not...

    Yeah, giving Jiri a past is key, and I'm very surprised no one's thought to do it before. Of course, I'm also glad the primary founding member of the "Jiri Needs Ficness" club is the first one to do it.

    I especially like mother as the mystical figure--perfect justification for Jiri's chasing the Legends. I can't wait to see the next part, where we'll get to see what Jiri gets from his dad... (Yes, of course you told me, but I can't give it away for everyone else yet, can I?)

    [Earlier the chatroom crashed, so I gave up and took a migraine-banishing nap. It didn't work, of course, and that should explain why i have nothing else intelligent to say. -_-;;;]

    "Ol' Flying Fingers Sammy jumped the gun."

    Pokemaniacs Anonymous: Growing old =/= growing up.

  11. #11
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Revolutionary Girl
    I especially like mother as the mystical figure--perfect justification for Jiri's chasing the Legends.
    Thank you! Yeah, see...didn't think anyone would get that!

    I realized I left something out that I use a lot as a Major Event in Jiri's life...so he'll get to use that later on! Probably when they get to where Jiri's father lives...something there will remind him of it, and we'll get another Aside...

    Ah, Asides, gotta love 'em

  12. #12
    Jellybaby for your brain! Mew2Too's Avatar
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    BJG, I've been a fool for not having read this story up until now. I don't know why you need the help of any of us. Sometimes, I read my stories and the wording and dialogue seem forced and hasty. I don't find the same happening with your work. It is as though your words were painstakingly selected. Your plot matter is impeccable. I can't say a bad thing about this story! Nor can I say anything bad about the others.
    What kind of Pokemon am I?


  13. #13
    Goronda Type Vice-Webmaster Evil Figment's Avatar Vice-Webmaster
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    This "new" chapter (sorry I'm late in answering, as mentioned before, I had 700 pages to breeze my way through before getting here ) actualy throws a nice twist. You almost get the feeling that his father is a bad person who doesn't care, usual "child sent to live to his daddy who doesn't love him" stuff, but when he finally arrives, you realize that the father actually does care.

    Real nice
    Quote Originally Posted by Mintaka and Hurristat
    He's an evil director / He'll give out infractions / Do something wrong / And he takes direct actions
    Then what'll he do?/ He'll permaban you / You find your name slashed / With a message, 'Adieu'
    Sooooo...watch out!
    "It is said that the federal government, if it was in charge of the Sahara, would run out of sand in five years. Private enterprise, being more efficient, would do it in half the time - and they'd make money off the bridges." - me.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton's last letter. Rest in peace, Jack.

  14. #14
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    You guys are too kind...and I mean that.

    it's because of that 'painstaking selection' that makes it hard to write...I have to mantain that for the duration of the story unless someone else is talking...and that's HARD!

    also...the limited perspective...that's another difficulty. I also need to reveal some plot points in what Jiri's father's going to tell him in the third chapter, but the fact that Jiri's heavily distracted by something is going to make that *really* hard...

  15. #15
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    (...I've decided to save that plotting stuff for chapter 4...chapter 3 was hard enough as it was, and I think I may re-do bits of it...so consider this a rough draft)



    I tried to attend her funeral, which was held in the backyard of our simple home, but I could not bear the sight. My mother, who had been as exuberant and lively as ever just a short time before, being lowered into the ground...it was far too much for me to take. Again, I took refuge in my room, and again I held the ring to my chest.

    Certain rituals, especially to a broken mind, provide comfort. But mine was quickly leading to frustration. She told me she would be there for me. So where was she? I needed her more than ever before and she was not here! Distraught, I pounded the cabinet as hard as I could.

    A flash of gold, and the card fell to the ground.


    I know I said earlier that the Ancient Mew card is my most valued possession. That is because I do not consider the ring to be mine, but rather still belonging to my mother. Even after all these years-- lifetimes in themselves--her presence remains with me.

    However, I am positive that, had she lived to see my downfall, she would want nothing to do with me.



    I stared at that card for a long time, not moving to pick it up, just observing it where it lay, taking in all the details. Gradually, my hand crept out to retrieve it; but I was interrupted by my father's entrance to my room.

    "Jiri..."

    I averted my gaze, fixated on the card. But I wasn't looking at it, not really.

    "You know, tomorrow I'm going back to Seafoam...you'll be coming with me..."

    ...mother, where are you? You told me you'd be here...

    "You may want to say goodbye. The...burial is...already over..."

    ...you didn't lie to me, did you? Mother, you promised me...

    I didn't hear most of what he said. I managed to catch that he loved me, and that he'd help me gather my things, and that I should say farewell to my friends--foolish man, I have no friends, don't you know that?

    The image of the card was growing fainter, my father's voice more distant. I was withdrawing, and soon I would be gone entirely.

    ...mother, please, I need you now...
    Last edited by Blackjack Gabbiani; 29th November 2008 at 12:14 AM.

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