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    ポケモンマスター はるひ's Avatar
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    Default Not a Typical Rescue Mission [PG]

    Rating: PG for poke-violence and shipping
    Fandom: Pokemon
    Characters/Parings: Colress, Ghetsis, Mars, many original characters
    Genre: General
    Status: on going
    By: Haruhi.
    Comments: I decided to put a bit of a twist on a subject I love yo write about "damsels and rescuing". So this is not a typical "hero saves victim" story. I just began to get back into writing, so my descriptions are shaky. Descriptions are the hardest part for me.

    Prologue:


    “It was yesterday afternoon when I saw those guys loitering around the building. But, I wasn't sure until I took a closer look. But once I got closer, there they were! Team Dark! Well, there were two of them. An old man with green hair and a fur coat and a woman with blonde hair and a white outfit were present, but I didn’t see any of their lower ranked members nor did I see any of their administrators. So I started to wonder, did these two act on their own?

    When they made eye contact with me, they quickly took off. I ran after the two thugs as fast as I could, however it was rather hard to keep up with the two of them. As soon as we got to the balcony, they jumped over it. I was utterly shocked. I ran to the balcony from which they jumped and looked down. All I saw was the ground below. While I was looking around, I was shocked to see them, however they were floating on jet-packs. Before they took off, they said, “Don't think that you have won! We will get Kartuniz's research! Trust us on that!”. They then took off!”


    Amy took a sip of her water as she was listening to her employee intently. She ran her fingers through her blonde hair as she was mentally processing everything Rubert was telling her. Before he could finish his story, he added, “Strange man indeed. He had an odd cane and angry red eyes. He scared me the most. I know they will come back, I just know it!”

    However, as soon he mentioned an old man with green hair, she started to raise an eyebrow. She had a feeling she knew who came buy the building as her expression became more worrisome.

    “That sounds a lot like Ghetsis!” she exclaimed. “Wait a second... why didn't you tell Colress or myself?”

    “Are you serious?” Rubert asked in a snippy way. “Colress doesn't care if the world around him is going to end. He just wants a place to do his research. You on the other hand... you are his girlfriend so of course, you will be there by his side when the world ends.”

    Amy couldn't help but chuckle at the man's comment. 'He can be wrapped up in things but still...' she thought to herself as she kept laughing. Her employee sat across from her with an eyebrow raised. Eventually, she stopped laughing once she saw his confused expression.

    “I know Colress is into his science but you could have still told him!” the female scientist exclaimed. “I mean this is his research facility, you know. Chances are, if Ghetsis strikes again, he's going after our data. We would need to figure out a way to prevent such a thing. I would tell him now, however, he is giving three kids a tour of the place...”

  2. #2
    Face of mercy? NOPE Yato's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not a Typical Rescue Mission [PG]

    Interesting start. I'd like to see how it goes from here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haruhi. View Post
    When they made eye contact with me, they quickly took off. I ran after the two thugs as fast as I could, however it was rather hard to keep up with the two of them. As soon as we got to the balcony, they jumped over it. I was utterly shocked. I ran to the balcony from which they jumped and looked down. All I saw was the ground below. While I was looking around, I was shocked to see them, however they were floating on jet-packs. Before they took off, they said, “Don't think that you have won! We will get Kartuniz's research! Trust us on that!”. They then took off!”
    Could be just me, but I don't know about the 'however' part. Maybe 'I was shocked to see them floating on jet-packs' would be okay?

    Amy took a sip of her water as she was listening to her employee intently. She ran her fingers through her blonde hair as she was mentally processing everything Rubert was telling her. Before he could finish his story, he added, “Strange man indeed. He had an odd cane and angry red eyes. He scared me the most. I know they will come back, I just know it!”
    Nothing major, but 'adding something before finishing' feels a bit odd.

    However, as soon he mentioned an old man with green hair, she started to raise an eyebrow. She had a feeling she knew who came buy the building as her expression became more worrisome.
    Noticed a typo XDD

    I do hope this turns out to be a fun story! XDD I'll come back for the first chapter!

  3. #3
    ポケモンマスター はるひ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not a Typical Rescue Mission [PG]

    Quote Originally Posted by Spectrum Achromatic View Post
    Interesting start. I'd like to see how it goes from here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haruhi. View Post
    When they made eye contact with me, they quickly took off. I ran after the two thugs as fast as I could, however it was rather hard to keep up with the two of them. As soon as we got to the balcony, they jumped over it. I was utterly shocked. I ran to the balcony from which they jumped and looked down. All I saw was the ground below. While I was looking around, I was shocked to see them, however they were floating on jet-packs. Before they took off, they said, “Don't think that you have won! We will get Kartuniz's research! Trust us on that!”. They then took off!”
    Could be just me, but I don't know about the 'however' part. Maybe 'I was shocked to see them floating on jet-packs' would be okay?

    Amy took a sip of her water as she was listening to her employee intently. She ran her fingers through her blonde hair as she was mentally processing everything Rubert was telling her. Before he could finish his story, he added, “Strange man indeed. He had an odd cane and angry red eyes. He scared me the most. I know they will come back, I just know it!”
    Nothing major, but 'adding something before finishing' feels a bit odd.

    However, as soon he mentioned an old man with green hair, she started to raise an eyebrow. She had a feeling she knew who came buy the building as her expression became more worrisome.
    Noticed a typo XDD

    I do hope this turns out to be a fun story! XDD I'll come back for the first chapter!
    ああ、ありがとうさん、Achromaticちゃん!!

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