Need Help with Pokemon Fanfic (writers Block)

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  1. #1
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    Post Need Help with Pokemon Fanfic (writers Block)

    My Characters name is Misa Honda. She's 23 ,and will live in the celadon mansion with her Happiny, Igglybuff, Togepi, Teddyursa, Skiploom, Corsala, and ninetails She's a new intern at the celedon pokemon center , she will come over from johto to start work in about a week. Her parents run the Goldenrod daycare center and thats why she has so many baby pokemon.
    Her new boss, Nurse Joy,is a b***h and takes advantage of her. Misa has this wonderful kind, healing personality that most people take avantage of. O and Ya she is Mewtwos sister.
    She was born in the same lab as mewtwo but what happened was her genectic mother kidnaped her when she was 4 and fled to Johto where for 4 years she lived peacefully in Axelia town . But team rocket found her and one night they came to her house and right in front of her they shot Misa's mother (Rebeca) Rebeca's Umbreon was coming home when he saw this tackled the rocket from behind who then shot him ,grabed Misa and ran through Ilex forest heading towards Golden rod when he saw the daycare center eh droped her off there then walked off and shortly after died from loss of blood. The sight of her mother being shot was to much for Misa and when the daycare couple asked her where her parents where she could only remember her name.
    Now heres my problem my character is in the Bullet train station and is waiting for the train but I have a writers block Any suggestions?

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    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Any suggestions? First off, make your character not a Mary Sue. Right now she has far too much of an overly-stereotyped background (So nice that people take advantage of her constantly? Parents killed by Team Rocket? Amnesia? MEWTWO'S SISTER? WHAT THE HELL NO) to be taken seriously as a character.

    And if this is how you type regular posts, I can only hope you write correctly in your fics.

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    Dedicated Shinji Fan ShinjiLover's Avatar
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    Well, I think you're character is a tad bit of a Mary-Sue. I can understand 'parents killed by Roketto-Dan (idea stealer! >=( ), but having more than just that is a bit much. Also, to make a truly believable character, be sure to give them a flaw (or more, more is a little better, just as long as it's not every flaw on earth) and make sure that they stick to the flaw.

    My character?


    In that, there is a flaw, a problem, and a solution, which makes for a good plot.


    Now that was just an example of what my character's flaw may do. It's never happened, but she really can't and is terrified. In that, there is a flaw, a phobia, and an uneasy situation, making for a good scene.



    Now this isn't exactly a flaw, more of an issue with her personality. . Which is pretty much a flaw, but not exactly like one. She's lazy, but she's good at what she does.

    For more ideas, you can feel free to PM me and I'll give you suggestions, help you with character development, et cetera.

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    1st Generation Velveteen's Avatar
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    This character is acceptable if you, the creator, are under twelve years of age.

    Well, I really don't know what to say... Make a new character?

    Making a good, believable character isn't a matter of adding flaw after flaw, like 'Oh! She's clumsy. And she is allergic to strawberries. She doesn't like papayas. She can't do origami... Oh, she can't dance either! And she is DEATHLY afraid of taxi cabs!"

    A good flaw is something like: "She is a slacker and when she makes plans to do something, she never follows through."
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    Dedicated Shinji Fan ShinjiLover's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Velveteen
    Making a good, believable character isn't a matter of adding flaw after flaw, like 'Oh! She's clumsy. And she is allergic to strawberries. She doesn't like papayas. She can't do origami... Oh, she can't dance either! And she is DEATHLY afraid of taxi cabs!"

    A good flaw is something like: "She is a slacker and when she makes plans to do something, she never follows through."

    I really hope that wasn't directed at me. =( That definitely was not what I was implying. .

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    1st Generation Velveteen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShinjiLover View Post
    I really hope that wasn't directed at me. =( That definitely was not what I was implying. .
    Eh? What? Oh, not at all! I was just making a statement. Tip for anyone. XD

    But I guess it's directed at everybody then, if I'm not addressing anyone in particular.
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    Dedicated Shinji Fan ShinjiLover's Avatar
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    Oh, okay, I was just sayin'. XD Sorry, I think I'm paranoid or something. . *shifty eyes*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Velveteen View Post
    This character is acceptable if you, the creator, are under twelve years of age.

    Well, I really don't know what to say... Make a new character?

    Making a good, believable character isn't a matter of adding flaw after flaw, like 'Oh! She's clumsy. And she is allergic to strawberries. She doesn't like papayas. She can't do origami... Oh, she can't dance either! And she is DEATHLY afraid of taxi cabs!"

    A good flaw is something like: "She is a slacker and when she makes plans to do something, she never follows through."
    But thats the entire story . The story is a challenge of her character to see if a kind girl with the innoccence of a child when removed from her home friends and family and placed in a one room crappy apartment with substandard living arrangments, people who take advantage of her, and being completely alone that will be a test of whether she can keep her kind attitude or she gives under the pressure and becomes this cynical creature who because she has mews DNA has the potential to do alot of bad

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    Okay, so you want to see if your innocent character can survive victimization with her good nature intact. You also want Misa to be able to cause a lot of damage if she goes bad, right?

    Okay, let's look at your story elements:

    My Characters name is Misa Honda
    Okay, that's a decent name.

    She's 23
    Hmm. 23 seems a bit old to still have a childlike innocence of the kind you mention. I'd recommend making her younger, actually, since it's been shown in the Pokemon universe that kids can essentially apprentice themselves at a young age to someone to learn their trade, like how Dr. Proctor suggested that Ash, Brock or Misty could stay at his hospital and learn to be a doctor. You could probably realistically have a twelve or thirteen year old girl starting an assistant's job, and a younger girl would be more likely to be innocent, kind, and caring.

    ,and will live in the celadon mansion
    Wait, I thought she was going to be in a crappy apartment or other "substandard living arrangements." A mansion doesn't seem too substandard to me.

    with her Happiny, Igglybuff, Togepi, Teddyursa, Skiploom, Corsala, and ninetails
    Six Pokemon, four of them "babies." The only one that seems out of place is Ninetails; that's a pretty powerful Pokemon. However, I have an idea for Ninetails so I'll wait to say anything about it.

    She's a new intern at the celedon pokemon center ,
    Fair enough.

    she will come over from johto to start work in about a week.
    What is she going to do in the week in between that is important to your story? If the "week off" isn't necessary to the plot, you might want to just have her start work right away.

    Her parents run the Goldenrod daycare center and thats why she has so many baby pokemon.
    Okay, that makes some sense.

    Her new boss, Nurse Joy,is a b***h and takes advantage of her.
    Now, this doesn't strike me as in-character for a Nurse Joy. The Joy family seems to be generally kind and decent; is this Nurse Joy very different from most, or are you saying that Nurse Joys in your universe just pretend to be nice and kind, and are really mean inside? If you're saying that, you're making the universe of your story a bit "dark." That's not necessarily a bad thing (some people would say that's a GREAT thing) but just bear in mind, that would influence a lot more things in your story than just what Misa's boss is like.

    Misa has this wonderful kind, healing personality that most people take avantage of.
    You'll have to tell us a bit about how she got such a personality; I'm guessing her parents in Goldenrod are very kind people, so Misa's not used to people being mean. If your universe is a "dark" one, you'll have to explain why Misa's parents were decent people when most people around them aren't. If you're just saying that Misa's Nurse Joy is an exception, you won't have to explain anything about Misa's background, but you'll have to explain a little about how Nurse Joy got to be an exception, that is, what makes her mean and how has she been able to hide it from others?

    O and Ya she is Mewtwos sister.
    This, I think, is a mistake. The whole reason you want Misa to be Mewtwo's sister is so that she could cause a lot of damage if she went bad, right?

    You don't really need Misa to be a mutant clone to make her dangerous. All she needs is some kind of power that she could potentially misuse. For instance, if she were the daughter of someone rich and powerful, she could cause trouble for others by using her family's wealth and power against them.

    This brings me to your Ninetails. You could make it so that Misa's Ninetails is a very powerful one, but perhaps young enough to not be very wise yet - maybe someone evolved it with a firestone too soon, so it's really too young for its power level.

    Misa's Ninetails could be the thing that makes her dangerous: she knows that if she asked, her Ninetails would be willing to hurt or maybe even kill someone for her. Then Misa's temptation would be to not use her Ninetails to get revenge on the people who hurt her even though she knows it would be very, very easy.

    Now heres my problem my character is in the Bullet train station and is waiting for the train but I have a writers block Any suggestions?
    Do we need to see her train ride? Is something important going to happen during it? Will she meet someone important to the story?

    If you want to keep the train ride in, have something happen during it that sets up the rest of the story: have Misa do something that illustrates her innocence and trust, and have someone take advantage of her (like stealing her pocket money while watching her seat) and then have her Ninetails go off and almost hurt the thief, so that Misa has to restrain it. Then we'll see what kind of person Misa is and what her conflict will eventually be.

    Hope this helps. Good luck.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShinyAeon View Post
    Okay, so you want to see if your innocent character can survive victimization with her good nature intact. You also want Misa to be able to cause a lot of damage if she goes bad, right?

    Okay, let's look at your story elements:



    Okay, that's a decent name.



    Hmm. 23 seems a bit old to still have a childlike innocence of the kind you mention. I'd recommend making her younger, actually, since it's been shown in the Pokemon universe that kids can essentially apprentice themselves at a young age to someone to learn their trade, like how Dr. Proctor suggested that Ash, Brock or Misty could stay at his hospital and learn to be a doctor. You could probably realistically have a twelve or thirteen year old girl starting an assistant's job, and a younger girl would be more likely to be innocent, kind, and caring.



    Wait, I thought she was going to be in a crappy apartment or other "substandard living arrangements." A mansion doesn't seem too substandard to me.



    Six Pokemon, four of them "babies." The only one that seems out of place is Ninetails; that's a pretty powerful Pokemon. However, I have an idea for Ninetails so I'll wait to say anything about it.



    Fair enough.



    What is she going to do in the week in between that is important to your story? If the "week off" isn't necessary to the plot, you might want to just have her start work right away.



    Okay, that makes some sense.



    Now, this doesn't strike me as in-character for a Nurse Joy. The Joy family seems to be generally kind and decent; is this Nurse Joy very different from most, or are you saying that Nurse Joys in your universe just pretend to be nice and kind, and are really mean inside? If you're saying that, you're making the universe of your story a bit "dark." That's not necessarily a bad thing (some people would say that's a GREAT thing) but just bear in mind, that would influence a lot more things in your story than just what Misa's boss is like.



    You'll have to tell us a bit about how she got such a personality; I'm guessing her parents in Goldenrod are very kind people, so Misa's not used to people being mean. If your universe is a "dark" one, you'll have to explain why Misa's parents were decent people when most people around them aren't. If you're just saying that Misa's Nurse Joy is an exception, you won't have to explain anything about Misa's background, but you'll have to explain a little about how Nurse Joy got to be an exception, that is, what makes her mean and how has she been able to hide it from others?



    This, I think, is a mistake. The whole reason you want Misa to be Mewtwo's sister is so that she could cause a lot of damage if she went bad, right?

    You don't really need Misa to be a mutant clone to make her dangerous. All she needs is some kind of power that she could potentially misuse. For instance, if she were the daughter of someone rich and powerful, she could cause trouble for others by using her family's wealth and power against them.

    This brings me to your Ninetails. You could make it so that Misa's Ninetails is a very powerful one, but perhaps young enough to not be very wise yet - maybe someone evolved it with a firestone too soon, so it's really too young for its power level.

    Misa's Ninetails could be the thing that makes her dangerous: she knows that if she asked, her Ninetails would be willing to hurt or maybe even kill someone for her. Then Misa's temptation would be to not use her Ninetails to get revenge on the people who hurt her even though she knows it would be very, very easy.



    Do we need to see her train ride? Is something important going to happen during it? Will she meet someone important to the story?

    If you want to keep the train ride in, have something happen during it that sets up the rest of the story: have Misa do something that illustrates her innocence and trust, and have someone take advantage of her (like stealing her pocket money while watching her seat) and then have her Ninetails go off and almost hurt the thief, so that Misa has to restrain it. Then we'll see what kind of person Misa is and what her conflict will eventually be.

    Hope this helps. Good luck.
    "Wait, I thought she was going to be in a crappy apartment or other "substandard living arrangements." A mansion doesn't seem too substandard to me."
    The Celadon Mansion Despite its name is actually not a nice place

    "Now, this doesn't strike me as in-character for a Nurse Joy. The Joy family seems to be generally kind and decent; is this Nurse Joy very different from most, or are you saying that Nurse Joys in your universe just pretend to be nice and kind, and are really mean inside? If you're saying that, you're making the universe of your story a bit "dark." That's not necessarily a bad thing (some people would say that's a GREAT thing) but just bear in mind, that would influence a lot more things in your story than just what Misa's boss is like."
    yes this story covers many topics that the manga, animie and games don't cover so it is fairly dark but that has nothing to do with Nurse Joys personality my oppion is that society expects the Joys to be good natured so much that they cave and become what society wants them to be this one didn't and her life wasn't as nice as the other Joys.

    "You'll have to tell us a bit about how she got such a personality; I'm guessing her parents in Goldenrod are very kind people, so Misa's not used to people being mean. If your universe is a "dark" one, you'll have to explain why Misa's parents were decent people when most people around them aren't. If you're just saying that Misa's Nurse Joy is an exception, you won't have to explain anything about Misa's background, but you'll have to explain a little about how Nurse Joy got to be an exception, that is, what makes her mean and how has she been able to hide it from others?"
    Well her parents the Daycare couple loved children but Beth Misa's mother while riding her ponyta one day got into an accident so she could never walk again and that would make her infertile . The couple could never have a child of their own so when they took in Misa as their daughter they gave her all the love and care that they possibly could

    "Do we need to see her train ride? Is something important going to happen during it? Will she meet someone important to the story?
    If you want to keep the train ride in, have something happen during it that sets up the rest of the story: have Misa do something that illustrates her innocence and trust, and have someone take advantage of her (like stealing her pocket money while watching her seat) and then have her Ninetails go off and almost hurt the thief, so that Misa has to restrain it. Then we'll see what kind of person Misa is and what her conflict will eventually be.
    Hope this helps. Good luck."
    Thank you very much yours was the most helpful , constructive and polite comments that I've had

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Need Help with Pokemon Fanfic (writers Block)

    Quote Originally Posted by KAGOME05W View Post
    My Characters name is Misa Honda. She's 23 ,and will live in the celadon mansion with her Happiny, Igglybuff, Togepi, Teddyursa, Skiploom, Corsala, and ninetails She's a new intern at the celedon pokemon center , she will come over from johto to start work in about a week. Her parents run the Goldenrod daycare center and thats why she has so many baby pokemon.
    Her new boss, Nurse Joy,is a b***h and takes advantage of her. Misa has this wonderful kind, healing personality that most people take avantage of. O and Ya she is Mewtwos sister.
    She was born in the same lab as mewtwo but what happened was her genectic mother kidnaped her when she was 4 and fled to Johto where for 4 years she lived peacefully in Axelia town . But team rocket found her and one night they came to her house and right in front of her they shot Misa's mother (Rebeca) Rebeca's Umbreon was coming home when he saw this tackled the rocket from behind who then shot him ,grabed Misa and ran through Ilex forest heading towards Golden rod when he saw the daycare center eh droped her off there then walked off and shortly after died from loss of blood. The sight of her mother being shot was to much for Misa and when the daycare couple asked her where her parents where she could only remember her name.
    Now heres my problem my character is in the Bullet train station and is waiting for the train but I have a writers block Any suggestions?
    ok after much thought i scrapped the entire idea of misa being mewtwos sister (its stupid and it feels forced) the daycare couple are her genetic parents and instead of a tedyursa she has a lucario named mooshi , i gave all her pokemon names because she feels that they should be treated as equals to humans but ill get to that aspect off her later her pokemons names r : hapiny -stella igglybuff-ella
    togepi-olla skiploom-lilly
    corsola-pearl lucario-mooshi
    ninetails-amber

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