I has Contestshipping lemon. Rated NC-17 for the obvious reason; also for use of the f-word, casual depictions of lipstick theft, gratuitous cross-dressing, gratuitous presence of Harley, and the despoilment of harmless upholstery. Oops, I’ve spoiled the entire fic. Oh well, read it anyway.
The kiddies are all grown up in this, btw.
May the Spy
The first inkling of weirdness came when Drew got back to his hotel. At the reception desk, in a fetching blue dress-uniform with matching hat set at a jaunty angle, was Harley. He gave Drew a wink as he approached.
“Your room number, sir?”
Drew stopped, and looked around for hidden cameras. He didn’t see any, but he supposed they wouldn’t be very well hidden if he could.
“Harley, what are you doing back there? Is this some kind of scam?”
Harley smiled. Drew noticed he was wearing lipstick.
“No, sugarplum. Community service. Nurse Joy caught me in May’s room at the Pokémon Centre, gluing all the furniture to the ceiling. Officer Jenny said I could spend the night in jail, pay a fine or work here for a couple of days. I’m saving to send Octillery to an oceanic-themed spa-retreat, and jail is no place for a lady, so I opted for door number three. You like?” Harley struck a pose.
Drew pinched the bridge of his nose. He was experiencing what May called her ‘Harley headaches’.
“Harley,” he said. “Was any part of that story true?”
Harley pouted. This drew even more attention to the lipstick. It was a bright shade of red that Drew was pretty sure May owned. He wouldn’t be surprised if Harley had stolen it from her room.
“Bits of it are true, bits of it aren’t. But come on, isn’t the uniform cute? I am so taking it with me when I go. Should I wear it on stage, do you think? I bet I can build a routine around it.”
Drew folded his arms. “Harley. I’m not playing.”
Harley sighed. “You’re no fun. Oh, all right, I made up the community service part. I’m only here to mess with you. Guess I might as well go let Janice out of the cupboard. I hope she will have a sense of humour about this, unlike some people.” With that, he wandered off.
Drew called after him. “Hey, can you give me my key first?”
When Harley didn’t come back, Drew walked around the desk and got it himself. All the way across the lobby, up to the fifth floor and along the corridor to his room, he carefully avoided thinking about what had just occurred.
Letting himself into his room, things took another turn for the bizarre.
“I’ve been waiting for you. It’s been so lonely up here.”
May was leaning against the door to the coat rack, one leg bent in a way that was probably meant to be sexy. She was dressed all in black, with a tight pencil skirt, a headscarf and a pair of shades. The only splashes of colour were her bright red high heels and her matching lipstick. Drew flinched as he realised it was the same shade Harley had been wearing.
“This room is too big for little me.” May began to walk towards him. She wobbled slightly in the heels.
“Did Harley do something to you?” said Drew suspiciously.
“Do you like it?” May breathed.
“No.” Drew peered around May, trying to see if the crew of Candid Camera were hiding under the bed. “What’s got into everyone today? And how did you get into my room?”
“My training as a Master Spy got me into your room.” May closed the gap between them and wound her arms around him. “And now that I’m here –”
“Stop it!” Drew detached her, with some effort; she was clinging on determinedly. “I’m starting to think Harley injected me with Pokénip while I was asleep. Did you see what he was wearing? Or have I been hallucinating for the past fifteen minutes?” He tried to remember if he’d seen anything insane on the way to the hotel. Aside from the usual cosplayers, there hadn’t been anything of note.
May stopped trying to blow seductively in his ear. She stepped back and whipped off her shades. Drew could see that she was pissed now.
“Oh fine, be that way. Here I am trying to liven up our relationship and you can’t be bothered to put in the tiniest bit of effort. You pay more attention to what Harley’s wearing than to me! No wonder we’re in trouble.”
Drew was honestly confused. “Trouble? Liven up? Have you been reading those magazines again?”
“No! I’ve been – talking to Dawn.” Here May looked a little embarrassed. “She suggested role-play.”
Drew closed his eyes. “Oh sweet Jesus. And what were you supposed to be?”
May looked mutinous. “A secret agent. I didn’t think you were the cheerleader type.”
“Not after meeting the MFP.” Drew gave May another look. Now that she was acting like her normal self again, he could admit that the outfit was pretty appealing. His eyes slid lower. Were her legs always that long, or was it just the shoes?
May pulled off the headscarf. “Well, clearly it was a bad idea. I shouldn’t listen to Dawn’s advice after three shots of vodka. Forget this ever happened.” She turned and wobbled back into the room.
Drew followed her. “It wasn’t a bad idea. It was just unfortunate timing. Seriously, did you see Harley?”
May scowled. “No, but I know it was him who glued all my furniture to the ceiling back at the Pokémon Centre. He didn’t get around to the bed, thank goodness, but when I wake up next morning I’m going to see everything else floating over my head and be really freaked out.”
“Don’t go back, then. Stay over.”
“I’m not sure I want to. I’m still embarrassed.” May looked miserable. “I can’t talk sexy to save my life. I’m such a dork.”
“Yes. Yes you are.” Drew leaned in and kissed her.
A few minutes later, he said, “Dorks are hot, actually.”
“I thought that was nerds.”
“And nerds. But you’d need different glasses to do that look.”
May grinned. “Ah, we have found your fetish.”
“You are my fetish.” Drew tried to hike May’s skirt up, but it was too tight. She tittered and unzipped it instead.
“That was a dorky thing to say.”
Drew helped her ease the skirt down past her hips. She kissed him again, harder, undoing buttons while his hands gripped her thighs. He was about to lift her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, but she wriggled free. There was a mischievous light in her eyes.
“I know what we’ve never tried.” She pushed him backwards, towards the armchair. Drew fell into it with a soft plumph. He quirked an eyebrow at May, who was doing her spy pout again as she gazed down at him.
“Your alter ego strikes again.”
May stepped out of the heels. “Shut up and take off your pants.”
It wasn’t long before all inconvenient clothing had been removed and May’s gloriously lithe, warm body had slid into his lap. Drew shivered at the contrast between the cool air and the shock of heat where she pressed against him. She was at just the right height for him to take one of her nipples in his mouth and flick his tongue around it. May panted and groaned, drawing her knee up beside him and sliding him inside her with one effortless thrust. Drew pulled back to watch her as she rocked lazily on top of him, her forehead scrunched up in concentration. This was one hell of a feeling – sitting back and getting fucked.
Each time May sunk down on him, he could hear the gasps torn from both their throats. She was going faster now, her toes digging into the floorboards and making them squeak. Drew wondered if this position was uncomfortable for her, but she didn’t give any sign of it, only quickening her pace while the noises she made got louder. May was wrong; in Drew’s opinion, the half-uttered exclamations and pleadings that dropped from her lips were extremely sexy. He wanted to brush his hands over her sweat-dampened skin, but suspected his fingers might be embedded in the arms of the chair.
“I am so – not missing – that upside-down – furniture,” May panted.
Drew half-laughed and half-gasped as she ground down hard. He wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to last. Luckily May was close to the end; her eyes were screwed shut and she was biting her lip. A trembling moan escaped as her body tensed in orgasm. The feel of her muscles tightening around him dragged an answering moan from Drew. She rode out her climax before relaxing and sinking down onto his shoulder, her breaths hot on his skin.
Drew gave her a minute out of politeness, before saying, “Do you mind…?”
May pushed her hair out of her face and smiled at him. “Yeah, sorry.” She wriggled back into position and began to rock against him.
The ache of Drew’s arousal burned fiercely with each burst of friction. He was white-knuckling the arms of the chair, his hips straining beneath her. May’s hand slid down between them, and she teased her clitoris with her fingers, managing a sneaky second orgasm before a rush of pleasure finally overcame Drew.
Lying back, spent and happy with May’s hair tickling his face, something occurred to him. “You were talking about us to Dawn?”
“And she suggested role-play?”
“…What kind of stuff does she get up to?”
“Don’t care,” May said sleepily. She kissed his cheek. “Tell me about Harley.”
“What about him?”
“You saw him earlier. Was he wearing my lipstick?”
“I think so.”
“I knew he stole it! Help me get back at him.”
“Anything you say.” Drew turned his head to yawn. “Can it wait ‘til morning?”
May snuggled against him. “Sure.”
They relocated to the bed, eventually. When morning came, they spent it discussing ways to plant poisoned lipstick in May’s room the next time all of them were in town together.
OMG R&R PLZ!!!!!!!