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Thread: Mistara (A Pokeshipping Story)

  1. #1
    Never Alone~ <3 Elphie's Avatar
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    Default Mistara (A Pokeshipping Story)

    So, hey, it's Elphie, and this is my new AAML fic, Mistara. It's based on the animated movie Anastasia. It's rating is just for safety, although there's one swear-word in the prologue, and will probably be more in the future. So, sit back, relax, enjoy -and don't forget to reveiw!


    We lived in a golden world.

    My son, Lance, was the king of Kanto. He had a lovely, gracious wife in Queen Lorelei, four pretty daughters, and a fine, strong son that would make any man, peasant or king, proud to have as his heir.

    Our lives were filled with opulent parties, lavish banquets, and all the best entertainments. We wanted for nothing.

    Our little corner of Earth was perfect, and we lived in a sort of blissful haze, happily unaware of the state of life outside the palace walls.

    That night, we celebrated three-hundred years of Waterflower rule. The palace ballroom seemed almost like a whole different planet as all the well-dressed ladies and gentlemen danced and made merry, enjoying themselves.

    As they should, celebrating my family.

    The ballroom was ablaze with lights, but that night, no star shined brighter than my youngest granddaughter. Our beautiful Mistara. Her red hair glowed in the light of the chandeliers as she danced with her father, the king.

    Mistara was only eight years old, but she danced with the elegance and grace of a lady years her senior.

    She squealed in laughter as Lance swung her into the air. As the music came to an end, she dipped into a deep curtsy.

    After watching her parents dance for a few moments, she then attempted to do a miniature copy of their dance with her younger brother, Prince Max.

    At the sound of my laughter, she ran to join me where I sat on the royal dais. "Grandmama!"

    Laughing, I caught the little girl and held her tight. She and I were the best of friends. Only Arceus knew why. But I think that Mistara reminded me of myself at her age.

    She had begged me not to leave for my home in Unova, but I knew I had to go. I would leave in the morning, and I wanted to make our last night together special, so I had gotten her a special gift.

    Pulling it out of my purse, I handed it to her.

    "It's so pretty!" Mistara said, "Is it a jewelry-box?"

    In response, I took a necklace out of my pocket, put the raindrop-shaped pendant in a slot in the back and twisted it. A haunting, dreamlike melody began to float from it.

    Mistara gasped. "It plays our lullaby!"

    "That's right." I replied, stroking her flame-orange curls, "You can listen to it at bedtime while I'm away and pretend that I'm singing it to you."

    Then I softly sang to her the words that would haunt me for years to come.

    "On the wind,
    'Cross the sea,
    Here this song and
    Soon you'll be
    Home with me.
    Once upon a December."

    As I finished the song, Mistara's little voice chiming sweetly along with the last line, I handed her the key on the necklace.

    "Read it, darling." I instructed.

    Mistara obeyed. "Together In Unova." She gasped, her forest-green eyes shining, "Oh, Grandmama!" She flung her arms around my neck, and I chuckled as I hugged her back.

    Just then, the ballroom doors crashed open, and an uninvited guest stormed in. It was a tall, broad man in archaic-looking robes, with long, light-green hair and a red eyepatch over one of his red eyes.

    At his side was a small, slim boy of about eight years old, also in robes. The child had light-green hair, like the man, but his eyes were olive-green, and he looked much too solemn and serious for his age.

    If Mistara ever wore an expression like his, I would think someone had died.

    "Ghetsis," Lance growled as Lorelei ran to scoop-up Max, "You have been banished from Kanto forever. Why are you here?"

    Ghetsis smiled an eerie smile. "Watch carefully, Natural." I heard him murmured to the boy. Then, smiling, he stepped forward.

    "Your Majesty!" He cried jovially, spreading his arms in a grand gesture. "My lord, am I, your most humble medicine-man, not welcome at your little party?"

    "You have been found guilty of plotting against my family," Lance snapped, "And have been exiled for your treason. For this, I ought to order you executed where you stand, but lucky for you, I don't think that's something children should see. Take your foundling-child and get out."

    The portly man's smile instantly fell, replaced by a mocking sneer. "Oh, no, Lance. I don't think you want to kick me out." Eyes shining with a crazed light, Ghetsis held-up a vial filled with a glowing green liquid. "I have more power than you could ever dream of."

    Mistara and I clung to eachother in terror. I could feel her slim body trembling against me.

    "And now," The evil medicine-man shouted, "Lance Waterflower, king of Kanto, I put a curse on you and yours! I declare that within the fortnight, every last Waterflower will die!"

    As several people, including myself, screamed, what looked like a bolt of green lightening shot from the top of the vial and struck the main chandelier.

    All the lights went out, and it crashed to the floor, thankfully not hurting anyone. When they flickered back on, Ghetsis and his companion -Natural, I remembered, what a strange name for a child- were gone.

    Shaken, the party ended. I carried Mistara up to her room, where the two of us fell-asleep almost a soon as we laid-down.

    What seemed like seconds later, I was awakened by the door crashing open.

    "Your Grace, Your Highness," The servant in the doorway panted, "The palace has been invaded by commoners! Rebels! They're here to kill the royal family!"

    Instantly, I leapt out of bed, despite my old bones, pulling a still half-asleep Mistara behind me. Following the servant, we ran down the hallway. Ran for our lives.

    As we went, the smell of smoke began to fill the air. They were burning the palace.

    Suddenly, Mistara gasped. "My music-box!" She yanked her hand out of mine and started running back towards where we came.

    "Mistara!" I shouted desperately, chasing after her. Oh, how I wished I had never given her that damn trinket! Now she was risking her life for the silly thing! "Mistara!"

    I caught-up to her in her bedroom, just as she was hugging the music-box to her chest. I grabbed her hand and jumped as someone ran into the room. But it was just a servant-boy, apparently coming to help us.

    "This way!" He cried, wild-eyed, as he ran to the wall and pressed a certain spot. A hidden panel in the wall slid open. "It's a servants' passage! It can get you out!"

    Of-course! I remembered those hidden passages. Lance had played in them when he was just a little boy! Now his youngest daughter and I were trusting them to save our lives.

    "Come on, Mistara." I said as I ducked into the entrance.

    "Hurry!" The boy said, pushing Mistara in the back towards me. That would normally be absolutely unacceptable, but I forgave his rudeness in shoving the princess. He was saving us, after-all. I heard Mistara cry-out as the boy's push knocked the music-box out of her hands, but there was no time to rescue it again.

    Suddenly, Ghetsis's little minion, Natural, appeared in the smoke-filled doorway. "Father, they're getting away!" He shrieked in a piping, high-pitched voice.

    He darted-off, with his too-big, old-fashioned robes flapping behind him. They gave him an absurd look, almost Woobat-like.

    Mistara and I huddled in the passage as the boy shut the door behind us, but froze as we heard the clod of big, heavy boots enter the room.

    "Where are they, boy?" A deep, harsh voice demanded.

    "I don't know." Our savior replied bravely.

    We heard the crack of an impact, and a child's pained cry. It sounded like one of the rebels had struck the boy with his gun. I sent-up a quick prayer for Arceus to protect that courageous little boy who'd been hurt helping them escape.

    Mistara and I hurried along the passage and managed to escape the palace. I knew there was a train leaving for Unova tonight, and I knew it was our only hope. We ran for the station, only to find that the train had already left.

    Having no choice, we ran along the tracks, trying to catch-up. "Run, Mistara!" I urged in desperation, all but dragging her along.

    Suddenly, thunder rumbled and the sky flashed green. There, at the other side of the river, was Ghetsis and Natural.

    "Hurry!" I cried, the terror obvious in my voice as I sped-up, "Hurry, my darling!"

    Ghetsis cackled madly as he and his boy ran towards us. I pulled Mistara harder as I raced for the train. We were so close! But that madman was getting so close to us!

    Behind us, I heard the ice crack, and despite myself, I looked back. Ghetsis had fallen through the ice! His sidekick had been far-enough behind him that he was safe, but he was trembling and white as a sheet.

    "Father!" He screamed. I heard the same kind of love and fear that I had for my family in his voice. And I felt pity for him.

    I reached with my free hand towards the train, and the passengers pulled me up, but they couldn't grab Mistara. She was lagging.

    "Run! Come on, Mistara!" I called to her, "Keep ahold of my hand!"

    "Grandmama!" She cried, frightened.

    "Father!" I heard Natural wail again. I saw him start to run again, but I could see how his heavy, awkward robes made it hard. "Father!"

    I screamed as her hand slipped from mine. Horrified and helpless, I watched as my beloved granddaughter and the medicine-man's foundling fell in synchronization, and their heads hit the ice with sickening cracks.

    "Mistara!" I screamed again, struggling against the passengers holding me back. They didn't know who Mistara or I was, but they weren't stupid. They weren't going to let a wealthy-looking old woman fling herself off a train.

    I kept screaming Mistara's name even after she passed out of sight, until my voice gave-out and I was exhausted from crying.

    I am Dowager Queen Agatha of Kanto, and that was the night my life changed forever.
    I don't care about IVs or EVs, or natures or anything. I catch my Pokemon the way they are, and I love them like that.

  2. #2
    Fanfic Writer some colour no doubt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mistara (A Pokeshipping Story)

    This has a good principle, but so much happened! I had to re-read sections as it was paced far to quickly!

    Your writing needs more description! There is almost none at all. We need to know what the characters and environments look like, sound like, feel like. By doing this you can also slow your pacing down a bit by lingering on scenes a bit longer rather than rushing through about four different areas.

    In truth, there was enough content in this chapter to possibly have two chapters, as you had two major events: The curse and the escape on the train. Each of these i think, deserved a lot more attention and build up. Whilst story wise this has a lot going for it, your writing style needs to improve a bit to get more engagement from the readers.

  3. #3
    Good Bad Bug Glitchipedia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mistara (A Pokeshipping Story)

    That being said, it definitely got me engaged. Now I want to see the movie again; it's been a very long time.

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