Mikey's Kanto Journey (Chapter Three)

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  1. #1
    MondoTR's Avatar
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    Default Mikey's Kanto Journey (Chapter Three)

    This is my first fanfic ever. I’m not a very good writer but have quite a few ideas for stories so I’ll try my best to make them good. And of course as you all know, I don’t own Pokemon.

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    Chapter One: The Start of a Journey

    As thirteen year old Mikey Volution walked to Pallet Town to get his Pokedex from the world famous Professor Samuel Oak, he thought about why he was becoming an official Pokemon trainer. He didn’t really care if he became a Pokemon master or not, but travelling around earning badges and battling in competitions while seeing the world seemed like a fun thing to do.

    He then thought of his brothers and the advice they had given him before he had left. Pyro had encouraged him to at least evolve one of the Pokemon he would catch. Rainer had said that he hoped he would catch a lot of water Pokemon. And Sparky explained that they all knew that he was going to be a great trainer because he had gotten a lot stronger since his first battle.

    “Eevee, vee” Mikey looked down to see Eevee gazing at some buildings. Mikey was surprised; he had been so deep in thought that he hadn’t realized he had already reached Pallet. He saw Professor Oak’s lab so he headed towards it. When he got there he rang the doorbell.

    “Coming!” suddenly the door was open by a guy with greenish black hair. “You must be Mikey. I’m Tracey Sketchit, Professor Oak’s assistant. Come on in.” They walked up into the building and up the stairs to see Professor Oak working on his computer. He turned around when he heard them come in.

    “Hello, Mikey. You have impeccable timing. I just put the final touches on you Pokedex.” as he said this Professor Oak took the Pokedex out of the computer and gave it as well as five Pokeballs to Mikey. “Well since you already have a Pokemon, I believe you are all set to start your journey. But if I may ask, why are you starting now instead of when you were ten?”

    “As you may know, many people get their evolution stones from Stone Town.” Mikey started explaining while remembering why he had decided to travel. “While they are there they tell my brothers and me about their journeys. Those stories have always fascinated me and a few months ago I decided I wanted to travel around so I would have some stories to tell.”

    “Well, I think that is a wonderful reason to travel around! Most people who want to get badges and compete in the league competitions want to be Pokemon Masters. Its nice to hear a different reason for wanting to travel around earning badges.” Professor Oak was happy to finally see a trainer with out a big ego. “Well, I hope you have fun on your journey. Good luck!”
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Well, how was it? I did better on this chapter than I thought I would. Please tell me what you think.
    Last edited by MondoTR; 1st March 2005 at 10:50 AM.

  2. #2
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Interesting. Mikey on a journey...

    I'd imagine there might be something arising from him having his starter before his journey--that's fairly irregular, after all.

  3. #3
    MondoTR's Avatar
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    Thanks for the review, Blackjack. I'm finally posting the second chapter.

    Chapter Two: The Forest Samurai

    Mikey had left Pallet a few days ago. He would have gone to Viridian City but was excited to get his first badge so planned to go to Pewter first. Most people didn’t know that Viridian Forest went around Viridian City but Mikey had heard many stories from trainers about their journeys so he knew many shortcuts that could make his quest shorter. So Mikey was now traveling through the somewhat dense forest on his way to the city with the first gym. He had seen a few bug Pokemon but ignored them and continued walking. Next thing he knew a tip of a sword had been shoved in his face. Too surprised and scared to do anything, Mikey just stared at the sword.

    “You have just left from Pallet, am I correct?” Mikey looked up as the person holding the sword spoke to him.

    “Y-yeah.” Mikey answered, still a bit scared.

    “Ah, so you’re a novice trainer.” replied the owner of the sword.

    “Novice?” Mikey asked questioningly, not sure of what the word meant.

    “It means someone that just started their journey, a newbie.”

    “Then I guess I am a novice although I have been a trainer for about seven years now, just not officially.”

    “That is not important. What is important is that you are a trainer and I haven't had any trainer battles in quite a while.”

    “You want me to battle you? But I don’t even know who you are!” Mikey exclaimed still wondering who this person is.

    “I am Samurai, I live in this forest and battle the novice trainers that come from Pallet.” Samurai explained as he returned his sword to its sheathe and took one of his Pokeballs from his belt. “This will be a one on one battle. No time limit.” As he said this, Samurai threw the Pokeball making his Pokemon, Pinsir, pop out.

    Mikey somewhat recognized the Pokemon recalling that one of the trainers traveling through Stone Town had had one. He knew battling a Pinsir with an Eevee was probably going to be tough but he didn’t think Samurai would give him a choice.

    “Ready?” Mikey asked, looking down at Eevee. Eevee nodded and prepared to battle. “Tackle attack!”

    Eevee ran forward and slammed into Pinsir. Unfortunately it didn’t seem to faze Pinsir much.

    “Pinsir, Guillotine!” Samurai commanded. Pinsir attempted to grab Eevee with his pincers but kept missing as Eevee dodged the attack with his speed. But it didn’t work for long as Eevee was suddenly lifted into the air, trapped between the pincers on Pinsir’s head.

    Eevee struggled to get out of Pinsir’s tight grasp but it didn’t seem to be working well. Mikey watched worriedly, trying to think of a way to help Eevee. “Eevee, try wiggling out of its grip!” Eevee did as his trainer suggested and finally slipped out of Pinsir’s grasp, landing on the ground out of breath from his struggles.

    Samurai watched impressed as Eevee freed himself from one of the strongest attacks his Pinsir knew. He had defeated many novice trainers with his Pinsir’s Guillotine attack but apparently this time it wouldn’t be enough. “Pinsir, Seismic Toss!”

    Pinsir grabbed the somewhat exhausted Eevee off the ground, lifted him high above his head, and slammed him back to the ground, hard. Mikey saw his Eevee lying on the ground obviously worn out. “You win, Samurai. Eevee’s too pooped to battle anymore.” Mikey said as he picked up his Pokemon.

    “For a novice trainer you battle quite well.” Samurai told Mikey as he recalled his Pinsir. “I think you’ll do good in your gym matches. Good luck.”

    “Thanks, Samurai, hopefully I will. And speaking of gym battles, I need to get doing so I can get my first badge. Farewell!” And with that Mikey continued through the forest, on his way to Pewter and his first gym.

  4. #4
    Registered User IceKing's Avatar
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    Hmm. Its good for your first fanfic. Description,detail, transition is fair enough. Try making your chapters a little longer and a bit more original (Oak and Samurai are quite familiar) Does he have any other pokemon beside Eevee by the way? I could have sworn Ive seen a couple of other Mikey fics before, but it may have been yours.

  5. #5
    MondoTR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IceKing
    Hmm. Its good for your first fanfic. Description,detail, transition is fair enough. Try making your chapters a little longer and a bit more original (Oak and Samurai are quite familiar) Does he have any other pokemon beside Eevee by the way? I could have sworn Ive seen a couple of other Mikey fics before, but it may have been yours.
    Samurai is original, he's not in most fics. And they're in it because I want to include many of the anime characters. And for the moment Mikey doesn't have any Pokemon other than Eevee but he will catch some as the fic progresses.

  6. #6
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    Chapter Three: A Rocky Start

    Mikey had arrived in Pewter City a few hours ago, heading straight to the Pokemon Center so Nurse Joy could heal Eevee. He now stood in front of a building that looked like a giant rock which he knew was the Pewter Gym. Mikey and Eevee walked inside the dimly lit place and could see someone sitting on a small boulder looking chair on the other side of the gym. Figuring that the person was the gym leader, they headed to the other side of the gym to ask for a match. As they got closer, Mikey noticed the person had squinty eyes and spiky brown hair and that he looked familiar. “Brock?”

    ‘Brock’ chuckled. “I’m actually his younger brother Jiroo. You must be another trainer who met my brother while he was traveling around with his friends. I guess you’re here for a badge. No time limit and we’ll use one Pokemon each.” As Jiroo said this, he pushed a button on the side of the chair and Mikey heard a small rumbling sound coming from behind him. As he turned around he saw rocks coming out of the walls!

    “What’s going on!?” Mikey exclaimed, confused and surprised as the rocks stopped moving and were now scattered around the gym.

    Jiroo laughed. “Relax, it’s just the battle field. So, ready to start the battle?” Mikey nodded so Jiroo took a Pokeball out of his pocket it, threw it, and a small gray Pokemon with steel-hard skin popped out.

    What’s that Pokemon? Mikey wondered as he pulled out his Pokedex. “Aron, the iron armor Pokemon. Aron has a body of steel. With one all-out charge, this Pokemon can demolish even a heavy dump truck. The destroyed dump truck then becomes a handy meal for the Pokemon.” the electronic Pokemon encyclopedia explained.

    Mikey was baffled. ‘That tiny Pokemon can pummel a dump truck in one blow!? Wow, this battle’s going to be tough.’ Mikey looked down at his first, and currently only, Pokemon. “Ready?”

    “Vee.”

    “Alright then, Quick Attack!” Mikey commanded as Eevee started running quite fast towards Aron.

    “Aron, Harden!” Jiroo ordered. Aron hardened his steel skin, leaving him unaffected as Eevee’s Quick Attack hit. “Iron Tail!”

    Aron’s tail turned to a silver color as he jumped up a little and twisted his body trying to hit Eevee with his iron hard tail. But he missed as Eevee quickly dodged the attack.

    “Aron, tackle!” Aron tried to tackle Eevee but Eevee quickly moving away to dodge the attack. Aron started chasing after Eevee, trying to tackle him again.

    “Eevee, use Sand Attack and keep running!” Eevee started kicking up sand as he ran which somewhat blinded Aron as some of the sand got in his eyes while he continued chasing Eevee. Not able to see clearly, Aron didn’t notice as Eevee suddenly ran to the side so kept going straight and ended up running head on right into one of the rocks, knocking himself out.

    Jiroo looked surprised. The rock field was suppose to give the rock Pokemon that he, his father, and his siblings used an advantage but this time it had done the opposite and had actually helped his opponent. He went over and picked up Aron and returned him to his Pokeball. He then started walking towards Mikey who had gone on the field to congratulate Eevee.

    “I believe this now belongs to you.” Jiroo said as he put Aron’s Pokeball back in his pocket, took out a Boulder Badge, and handed it to Mikey. Mikey looked down at the small, gray badge in his hand that marked his first gym victory and smiled. He didn’t really care if he became a Pokemon Master or not but getting your first badge was something to be proud of. Mikey then looked back up and thanked Jiroo.

    “No problem. Hey, if you ever go to Celadon and go to Scissors Street could you say hi to my brother for me? It’s nicknamed Breeder’s Lane because a lot of breeders have their salons and Brock is there helping some of his friends with theirs.”

    “I probably will go to Celadon although it won’t be for a while. But if I do go then I’ll make sure to tell him.”

    “Thanks. So where are you headed now?”

    “I’m going to go to Mount Moon. I’ve heard about it from many of the travelers that have stopped at Stone Town and it seems like an interesting place to see.”

    “Makes sense. Well, good luck on your journey and thanks again.”

    “No problem. And thanks for the badge. See ya, Jiroo!” As he said that, Mikey turned around with a wave, left the gym, and started towards Mount Moon.

  7. #7
    Blaziken Gone Bad Dark Bashamo's Avatar
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    Default Dark Bashamo's review.

    Chapters I - III Review
    Hello, Furai. I have noticed you have made a new fan-fic. It seems to be about Mikey and his Eevee. I've had slight confusion reading the story, but I know it's your first, so I'll go a little easy on you.

    Chapter I - The Start of a Journey
    Chapter I was okay. A little short, but still a little unique nonetheless. But the only thing that puzzles me is...how old is Mikey!? If he is about 12 to 13, maybe some knowledge of the world around him can help, and some basic survival skills, but that's just my suggestion. I haven't read a fan-fic with little Mikey, so some kudos to you.

    Characters are okay, but you should make it a little more unique, like adding a companion and to catch a new Pokémon or something. The plot is a little old. We all know trainer fics to be catching Pokémon and getting gym badges. Put a little more drama, a little more on the plot side.

    I give it a 2.5 out of 4. It's a little better than average, but just barely.

    Chapter II - The Forest Samurai
    Who doesn't love samurais with some tough Pokémon? Pinsir versus Eevee was a good match, and maybe to show Mikey how to really battle. That was well thought out, Furai, I think.

    Description was okay, and maybe a little more of a scenic background will have given you a little more on the description note, but it is great, and a great start to Mikey's life as a Pokémon trainer. Length was still good, and better than the first chapter, so that's great, too. You're learning, Furai, and I like that.

    A 3 out of 4.

    Chapter III - A Rocky Start
    I was thinking that "A Rocky Start" will be something that Mikey either catches a Geodude or another Rock-type, or loses in the Gym Battle, since a rocky start means that it's a little rough in a battle, or in real life. Like hard time.

    But, the length nearly doubled from the last chapter, which is nice, Furai. Next, description was all right. Some was good, like the boulder-shaped chair, and some was not so good, like Aron's description. I thought it was a Steelix at first sight. So, that needs some work.

    You still haven't put in some original character, or a special personality for Mikey, and that's not good. But, if you have something for later chapters, I'll be waiting for that. All right? You can notify me of later chapters, because I like this fic a lot.

    This chapter gets a 3 out of 4.

    Overall
    So there you have it. Three good chapters by a newcoming author. Read her fic, and keep posted, as this fic might grow to become "Fic of the Year!"

    This chapter is a Weepinbell rank. A good Pokémon, but not so good.

    ~ BE
    Dark Bashamo's
    "Team of Destruction"

    Version: FireRed

    and Milotic

  8. #8
    MondoTR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Bashamo
    How old is Mikey!?
    First six words letters in the fic:
    As thirteen year old Mikey Volution


    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Bashamo
    Chapter III - A Rocky Start
    I was thinking that "A Rocky Start" will be something that Mikey either catches a Geodude or another Rock-type, or loses in the Gym Battle, since a rocky start means that it's a little rough in a battle, or in real life. Like hard time.
    Well it's a Rock type gym and the start of his gym battles so it kinda fit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Bashamo
    like Aron's description
    I wasn't sure how to describe him so that came from what someone suggested in a chat that I go to.

    Anyways, thanks for the review. ^_^

  9. #9
    Proud Dark-type PsiUmbreon's Avatar
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    OK... yeah, I see it's your first fic. I'm not much of a fic reviewer... but OK, I'll tell ya what I thought. Well... the idea behind it is original... it's about Mikey, who isn't really that well known of a character, and yeah it's an interesting angle. but yeah, the plot is kinda tired. "Boy starts with Pokemon. Boy goes on journey to collect badges and meet new people, and catch more Pokemon." Needs... something a little more to it... more suspense, more action, a thicker plot. (and maybe at least make it a little longer?) Like, yeah make the battles a little longer and put more description behind them I guess... I think that will help to build the suspense, and give the reader more of a picture of what is going on...or something like that.

    On a side note, I didn't see any grammar or spelling mistakes. Keep up the good work with that ^^

  10. #10
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    It's pretty good so far. I'm not exactly into journey fics, but it's still entertaining.

  11. #11
    MondoTR's Avatar
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    Thanks for the reviews. I haven't started the next chapter yet which I suppose is good cause it's at Mount Moon and would have contradicted the new episode. But I think I have a decent way to bypass that. So I'll start writing that soon and post it when I'm done.

  12. #12
    WHOAOMGWTFBBQ A PERSON Calpoke's Avatar
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    Heh, Dani, pretty good, although it's kinda...cliche...but i'm not much of a writer, so who am I to complain?
    I need some pants... -Slowking, Pokemon 2000

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