Well i'm going to have to say: bravo.
You've managed to have started the beginnings of a fic that it original, interesting, and overall a good read.
One thing I guess many people have told you in their comments is that it veers into "textbook land" too often, and I'm going to have to agree. Rather then giving us a story we can follow along with that can keep us guessing and keep us wanting more, it feels as though I'm reading a sometimes-descriptive textbook. Not that I haven't been enjoying it, because I have, it's very very interesting and it's such a concept that must be explored. But it feels more like information being given to us in a fashion rather then a story.
Now just keep writing! You can totally gain a bunch of readers with the story you have and i'm definitely going to recommend this.