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Thread: A Little Bit of Good (Chapter 5 up)

  1. #16
    Registered User beastmode953's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Little Bit of Good (3)

    Caitlin fic? Porahgon x would love this lol. Well not much to say since its only the first chapter but descriptions were good and I really want to know how the two will interact even though you specifically said it wasnf a shipping fic. And what did you mean about late great professor oak? He dies?

  2. #17
    I feel so much spring... Cabaret's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Little Bit of Good (3)

    Quote Originally Posted by beastmode953 View Post
    Caitlin fic? Porahgon x would love this lol. Well not much to say since its only the first chapter but descriptions were good and I really want to know how the two will interact even though you specifically said it wasnf a shipping fic. And what did you mean about late great professor oak? He dies?

    Well considering it's already the THIRD chapter, i'd assume you'd have oodles of things to say. The title of the thread even indicates that three chapters have been posted.

    Edit:Characters can interact without being shipped. 95% of fics in the workshop have fics with characters who show sexual tension (or anything of that nature) at all. It's going to become very clear how they're not being shipped. Because both of the characters have to be alive to be in a relationship, don't they?

    And no, Professor Oak does not die. He is dead. Thank you for your feedback.
    Last edited by Cabaret; 18th April 2012 at 06:17 PM.

  3. #18
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Little Bit of Good (3)

    I'm intrigued to see where this will go.

    Grimsley is really unique and I love your interpretation of his character, his personality as well as his unchanging, repetitive life. I especially loved the scene in the first chapter where he looked in the mirror, decided that he was going to do something different and then went back to his old habits like always. I think it was a really powerful scene and a great showcase of how hard it is for humans to change their habits or themselves.

    Keep it up! ^^

  4. #19
    I feel so much spring... Cabaret's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Little Bit of Good (3)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsutarja View Post
    I'm intrigued to see where this will go.

    Grimsley is really unique and I love your interpretation of his character, his personality as well as his unchanging, repetitive life. I especially loved the scene in the first chapter where he looked in the mirror, decided that he was going to do something different and then went back to his old habits like always. I think it was a really powerful scene and a great showcase of how hard it is for humans to change their habits or themselves.

    Keep it up! ^^
    Didn't see this here. Well thanks for your feedback.

    Trying to have a well-rounded protagonist such as Grimsley is quite difficult. But I try to make the quirks work. He's a very different protagonist.

  5. #20
    I feel so much spring... Cabaret's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Little Bit of Good (3)

    I think I'm proud enough of this chapter to finally release it. Please, remember to review and tell me what you think!

    A Little Bit Of Good- Chapter 4

    It’s twelve o’ clock in the pitch-black night. I can’t contain this wanderlust. Suddenly the world just feels on fire. Like I just want to run outside and discover something new. Gracefully there’s the sound of distant thunder that could rapture the souls of a sensitive, fortunate few.

    I picked up the book and let it wedge into my hands. Same old, same old.

    I couldn’t read a single thing in the darkest of nights. And turning on a light Liepard discomfort while sleeping, so I was stuck. This was just great. Another sleepless night alone in bed, the sun having already flown. I looked over at the empty spot next to me, where a mistress or a lover used to sit. Suddenly my mind is at a different place…

    Two years ago, the 12th of June. That small café, where he appears. I see him first, and there’s a smile. I see his eyes, as something new. He’s a different kind of man that I haven’t seen before. Quiet and reserved, he walked with small strides and this smug, thick grin. He kept his head low while walking, but upon stopping brings his head up to reveal a face like no other. I won’t forget. I won’t forget.

    Something sad is playing on the radio, a boy who lost his girlfriend to a friend, or something. I seem to forget my Caitlin’s face. I seem to forget my lovers face. Though I can remember a strangers face. His name is N.

    I leave the money, and I don’t look back. I walk to the park, and he is there. That brilliant smile, and those emerald shoes. His eyes are green. My eyes dart around.

    He says, “Hello.”

    Suddenly this world feels like another, as if the other finally reached an end. I seem to forget my Caitlin’s voice. I seem to forget my lover’s voice. But I do remember, I hear his voice, and I want to fly. I want to rise up to the heights of the world. I want to be with him, to feel I am good. I want to be needed. I want to need.

    I ask his name. And we kiss. And the angels sigh. And we kiss. And it seems we fly. I feel a high. We kiss. And then it’s goodbye.

    I don’t suppose anything could have been better than what may have been. The sweetest time had been cut short. That day could have been the 12th of June. There could have been his dangerous smile that seemed to caress. And I could have stared at it forever.

    The greatest of adventures of my life.

    I never had again.

    I seem to forget my Caitlin’s face. I seem to forget my lover’s face. But I can remember what could have been. It has a name….

    forget it.

    ………

    Don’t think of giving up, Caitlin, don’t think of giving in. Don’t think of anything but the invincibility of Grimsley Gordon Flynn.

    Here I sit in the middle of the room. I don’t throw some fit, nor do I start crying. I see nurses flit as they fiddle in his room. What a damn charade, they will never help him.

    Grimsley here, Grimsley there, Grimsley pieces everywhere. Pick them up. Glue them on. Too bad, he’s good as gone.

    I’ll call his mother tomorrow I suppose, tell her I’m a friend. Tell her how her Grimsley thought that Grimsley could just end.

    What am I saying? The man, he’ll be just fine. People go and try to kill themselves, thinking it’s time they’d shine. Though I guess I wasn’t his fault that the car just went too fast.

    Get it together Caitlin. Everything will be alright. Everything will be alright.

    Yes, my mind won’t expire, for is never has, never will. What am I even saying? Grimsley is a dumb imbecile. It’ll be A-Okay. His story’s far from complete. He’s tough as a tack.

    Everything will be alright. Everything will be alright. Everything will be-

    “Miss, are you a family member of Mr. Flynn?”

    …………

    “Hey Caitlin, do you ever wander about differences?”

    “Differences meaning what?”

    Caitlin and Grimsley sat in their usual grey room, with their usual grey chairs, and the usual grey atmosphere. The cold winter that had erupted caused them to turn the AC on full-blast. It was warm and toasty in their hub. Caitlin wore a large, starch white winter sweater and Grimsley his usual attire. Why would someone buy clothes that could only be worn one time of the year, Grimsley thought. Keeping with his traditions was always what Grimsley did best anyways.

    “Well, you know, differences meaning, like…decisions.”

    “Well differences and decisions are two different things, Grimsley.” Caitlin responded with a playful tone. She had been more peppy lately. Grimsley tried to ignore it. A change in her attitude meant something had happened, and it might be something Grimsley didn’t want to hear.

    “I mean the decisions we make. Do you ever wonder what could have happened if you had chosen differently in certain situations?”

    “Are we talking big decisions or little decisions? Like what I had for breakfast or when I decided to become a pokémon trainer instead of a stewardess?”

    “Yeah, big decisions like that. Wait, you wanted to be a stewardess? Like an airline stewardess?” Grimsley was baffled; he’d never heard this bit of information before.

    “Yes I did. But pokémon training actually makes money, so you know, that.”

    “Huh…well do you ever think about what would have happened if you had become one?”

    Caitlin took a moment. She had asked herself that question before. She certainly had done her fair share or self-analyzing. She sighed and released the words, each of them more passionate than the last.

    “I would have married a man a little younger than myself. He would have had a nice family. Probably had grown up in one of those nice stone houses in Kanto. A little short, maybe a tad bit a pushover, but in a nice way. Blonde head of hair, long legs, big brain. He would have probably went to some medical college or something. He would have been the breadwinner anyways, because a stewardess doesn’t exactly pay like a politician…”

    She paused. Took in a long breath.

    “He would have probably been some nice professor somewhere at some nice establishment, all the while working on investments, making a fortune. But he’d love that I’m madly in love with him. That’s why he’d loved me, because I loved him. I’d appreciate his sensitivity because he was…would have been the first man I’d ever met with some. He would read a lot, same books that I would read. He’d like opera and the theatre and that crap. Nights would have been spent talking about, oh I don’t know, Hoenn philosophy, and what was new in literature and things of that sort. And then we would sleep together. It would be quiet. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But the entire time, there would be this little voice in the back of my head wanting something more. Something that wasn’t him, that wasn’t that life. But hey, I would be happy, or some sort of happy. And every night, it would be Hoenn philosophy and whatever was new in the literature and then quiet sex. And then we might have had kids who could do the same thing when they would grow up. And then we’d die.”

    Caitlin started at her hands, seemingly fiddling with an invisible object. Grimsley looked at Caitlin in pure fascination. She certainly was an unpredictable woman.

    After some time had passed, Caitlin asked Grimsley a question.

    “Are there any decisions that you made that you would change, Grimsley?”

    Grimsley pondered this question. He knew she would ask it eventually after he brought up the topic. He then picked the only answer that seemed appropriate.

    “What does it matter, Caitlin? The Grimsley I’ll never be, who remembers him?”

  6. #21
    I feel so much spring... Cabaret's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Little Bit of Good (3)

    So this is awkward, right? I spent a lot of time churning this out for a story that no one was reading but myself. Alas, I figured I would post this to kind of revamp the fanfic. This chapter takes a much lighter look at Grimsley, as my theme for the chapter was "transformation." I hope you enjoy.

    Chapter 5- A Little Bit of Good

    SUNDAY:

    Yes! She said yes! Oh sweet Arceus or Buddha or Mohammad or whatever! The lady must be mad, but that’s enough for me. Somewhere a fine painting is missing its radiant leading girl and that is Caitlin. I swear, I thought I would die sitting there eating my corned beef sandwich reading Moliere. I don’t know why I asked her, maybe it was because of the awful fluorescent lighting that makes everyone look like they’re practically dead or maybe it was the tea that wasn’t settling well in my stomach, but I was just

    “Hey, we should go out tomorrow.”

    and she was just

    “Yes.”

    And I just

    what.

    You’re in the money, Grimsley. You best not screw this up because she is your only chance at being happy and who even cares if she has a disorder that causes her to cry on cue or the fact that she doesn’t have a male sex organ. She could be yours.

    I love love.

    MONDAY:

    It’s Monday. It’s Monday. We went out. We went out. I like her. I like her! Repetition, ahoy! Good golly, Grimsley, you are a pathetic putrid mess of romantic Jell-O that no one wants to pick up and you’ll eventually sink into the floor.

    It’s Monday, bad day, but good day for us. You ordered coffee, I ordered…wine. You said you liked my scarf and I told you it was designer made and then I felt funny so I stopped talking about me.

    Good god I babble too much when I journal. I hope no one ever reads this. Not even after I die some tragic death. The truth is too mushy and romantic comedies play on our real lives way more then they actually should. I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Cait, you make me feel like fireworks. Do you like that analogy? That’s not even and analogy. That’s a simile. That’s how gelatinous you make me feel, but the good kind of gelatinous, the sexy kind.

    You wouldn’t let me kiss you goodnight. You’re my kind of girl, Cait.

    TUESDAY:

    I called you thrice. Ignored me straight voice mail. I thought I had done something wrong, Cait. I felt like shit. I felt like my father. And I hated myself for it. For twenty three and a half minutes I felt like everything I loved and cherished had burned tragically in a fire and I know it seems likes I’m exaggerating but I’m really not. I felt so scared.

    You texted me saying, “I play hard to get.”

    Um Cait, what?

    I got so depressed by your test. It’s so unlike you, Cait. It’s like this is a whole new side of you. Play hard to get? What, so you’ve been around the bush a few times?

    Ready, set:

    You wouldn’t let me see you Tuesday or let me kiss you on Monday. And I know that the hopeless romantic stalker that I am cannot handle your ruthless shtick.

    Still, I think you’re the best. I guess I’m just so juvenile, but I just want to be with you.

    WEDNESDAY:

    Cold coffee. Some talking. Clean touching.

    Wednesday’s my hump day, but we just held hands. And drank coffee.

    That’s right. All we did was got coffee and touch hands for a measly 25 seconds. I swear, Cait if you’re trying to tell me something you’re doing a really bad job at it.

    You wouldn’t let me take you out for the day, you told me you had to stay home. So I spent the day exploring museums and admiring art, pretending we were standing together. And yeah, maybe I’ve gone too far and I’m just saying this out of spite, but my love for you is like a radiant shore, a whispering candle burning through the night.

    See that rhyme? I wrote that for you, Cait!! And what, you’ve always given an inch of your time for me. I’ve always managed to take a mile.

    THURSDAY:

    Like Tuesday. Time spent away from me.

    FRIDAY:

    You’re busy.

    SATURDAY:

    What’s up with you?

    You don’t want to kiss me, or see me, or even let me take you out.

    So why don’t you just let me go? Spare me the misery of another week like this. But then you called me. Out of nowhere you called me.

    You said, “I need you to know that you are cute, but juvenile.”

    I assumed was what I expected. I thought you were breaking up with me, and I mean, what a way to do it. Over the phone, and all. I thought I’d tried too hard, that I had cared too much. Every cliché in the book had hit me in the face. I felt restlessness.

    Then you said, “The greatest love takes the longest time.”

    Why wait, Cait? We haven’t got much time. Life is lonely, rotten, and thankfully short. But the one thing that I need in life is you and I’ve loved you for the longest time and I know I sound like a lunatic right now but without you I can’t be whole.

    “Please be patient for our one day. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

    I don’t have anything more to say.

    SUNDAY:

    You let me kiss you. You let me kiss you. You let me kiss you.

    Be still your foolish, “Please be patient for our one day.”

    Look, Caitlin. Tis Sunday.

    You made this week of hell worth it. You smiled as we descended the stairs and you laughed when I told joke and you made me feel like I was doing everything right. Everything about you is amazing and Grimsley is a new person. A new person who suddenly talks in the third person. I would keep writing but I have to kiss you now.

    Til Monday.

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