Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

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    With Lady Rainicorn too! Miss Mew's Avatar
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    Default Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    I'm new and I FINALLY stumbled upon this writer's heaven. I've had this idea for a bit: hope you enjoy!

    Rating: Teen (No cursing or anything but I'm getting into the pkmn daycare A BIT... just on the safe side here)

    Summary: An Eevee is born in the depths of pinwheel forest, raised by two released Leafeon. All is well... Until she's captured by a trainer! She'll have to learn how to deal with the agony of battling, the stress of evolving, and some Pokémon daycare breeding schemes... But she soon learns being loved is well worth the fight.
    Genre: Adventure, Friendship.

    Index: Chapter one: An eevee is born
    Chapter Two: Captured! *
    Chapter Three: B-Battling? *
    Chapter Four: Pokémon Liberation? *
    Chapter Five: Evolving- Already? *
    Chapter Six: The Daycare Dilemma! Note-this chapter is mature because of sexual activity.
    Chapter Seven: How?
    Chapter Eight: Gym Badge Number Eight!!! *
    Chapter Nine: The Elite Four is Too Tough!!!
    Chapter Ten: Reshiram-Eek!
    Chapter Eleven: Battle with N!!
    Chapter Twelve: Why Must You Abandon Us- WE LOVE YOU!!!
    Chapter Thirteen: A New Trainer- and a New Journey!!!
    I'm nowhere near Chapter thirteen, I just know what I'm going to do! Wish me luck on my first Fanfic!
    Last edited by Miss Mew; 8th June 2013 at 11:41 AM. Reason: Asteriks for Aqua

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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    Chapter One: An Eevee is Born
    I felt warm sunshine on my face, and then something wet was rubbing against me. I had no sense my life had just begun, nor did I care. I snuggled up to my mother, who was a Leafeon, and started to nurse. I was, like most Pokémon, an only child, and thus I had most of my mother's attention. But somehow I could sense my mother was worried, about something, something that brought great danger to us. But I didn't know what, so I just did what I did.
    A week later, my eyes and ears were open. I was making friends with every Pokémon in the wonderful place I now knew as Pinwheel Forest. I was starting to learn moves, which my mother was rushing me to learn, which always befuddled me. While I was confused, I did not argue and quickly mastered tackle and tail whip. But, for some reason, my friends were disappearing one by one. First sewaddle, then Venipede, and even Panpour were going missing. One day I learned why.
    The next week, I saw a two-legged creature my mother called a trainer. She warned me to fear them and hide when they came. But one day I got too curious, and payed the price. I rubbed up against a female trainer with long hair and she pulled out a Pokéball. I was confused, but then the Pokéball released Sewaddle, my old friend! I went to talk to it but it used bug bite on me! I had never been attacked by a Pokémon! Then, my mother, realizing the situation, stepped in and took the great ball aimed at me. Suddenly, I realized I was not seeing my mother again, and instead of fighting I ran far, far away.....

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    With Lady Rainicorn too! Miss Mew's Avatar
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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    Chapter 2: Captured! *

    For several weeks I lived off of the wild Leavanny and Audino, once even going as low as to think of begging to Virizion for help. I was a coward, hiding from trainers when most of my friends had learned to jump at them and only run if they were really, really offended. I always thought my life would be in a safe heaven, but now I had to make an almost impossible choice: start acting like my friends and get captured or hide and never come out. After thinking back now, the choice should've been obvious to me. Either way, I ultimately, after days of bickering with myself, decided to let myself be captured by the next trainer I met. I said my goodbyes to the forest Pokémon, then, when a girl with a brown ponytail showed up, revealed myself, ready for battle.
    I waited for the girl to release her Pokémon. Then, after much contemplating, she sent out a Pignite that she called Bacon and ordered it to use Rollout. I was injured. Then the trainer pulled out a blue Pokéball with red stripes which she called a Great Ball. The Pokéball shook once, twice, and thrice, and then click! The Pokéball snapped closed and I was captured.
    The trainer then went through the terrifying process of nicknaming me. I listened to my trainer's fumes. I soon learned her name was Aqua and she was planning my name around the basis of the word rainbow. I soon heard my Trainer's final decision- Raini. I really liked the name, and I soon learned of my team-mates. There was:
    Bacon, the Level 20 Pignite.
    Love-Dove, the level 19 pidove.
    Shoe, the level 16 Sawk.
    Leafhead, the level 20 Pansage.
    I liked my team-mates and I was glad I had joined the team. Until I learned about battling, that is...
    Last edited by Miss Mew; 8th June 2013 at 11:37 AM. Reason: Asterik for Aqua

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    With Lady Rainicorn too! Miss Mew's Avatar
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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    If anybody likes this, please give a shout-out or at least tell me why I don't get comments! I'm just wondering why...

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    Registered User Eeveeforthebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    If sorry. I'm been busy creating my story to look at others. Don't want you to feel lonely. Btw nice to meet you. :)

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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    Yay a friend! :D Anyway...Chapter 3: B-battling? *
    For a while, life in a Pokéball seemed all peachy, but that was until I learned how agonizing battle was. My first battle under Aqua's care was at a place called the Battle Company in Castelia City. Before that, however, Aqua had ordered six Casteliacones, one triple-scoop and five vanilla. However, the company had a mix-up, and Aqua received a Vanilluxe from the cashier, and all five of us Pokémon received Vanillite. After the cashier explained they often wound up having wild Vanillite take refuge in the shop, he swapped them out for our real orders. The ice cream was undeniably delicious. I could see why it almost always sold out!
    After the ice cream mix-up, we went to the Battle Company. First, we headed up the elevator (on which I was very queasy) and entered a room. Then, all of us saw the trainers. After some consideration, Aqua moved my Pokéball to the front of the Pokéballs and ran into the room. All of a sudden we saw a clerk walking up to us and challenging us. I wondered what kind of challenge it was. I loved mind puzzles! Then the man whipped out a Pokéball. He threw it and out popped a Timburr. I was confused. Why a Timburr? Then Aqua pulled out my Pokéball, and to my intense fear, dropped it on the ground! To my surprise(and my relief) I popped out, unharmed, questioning what Aqua wanted from me. I looked at her, confused, and she then YELLED at me to use Tackle. I didn't know what she meant! Then, after a minute of my confusion, Aqua shoved me into the Timburr, which caused it to use Low Kick on me. I cried out in pain. What the hell was that? Then, out of fury, I slammed it with Quick Attack as hard as I could. However, Timburr, in retaliation, used Low Kick. I felt myself growing faint. My breaths slowed, and I slumped to the floor as I blacked out...
    I woke up on a stretcher while a strange lady with pink hair examined me. I soon learned her name was Nurse Joy and what happened to me is common. Apparently many Pokémon faint during what is called "battle". I couldn't believe people would do that to Pokémon! However, I was willing to forgive Aqua for doing this. Then, I noticed Bacon checking to make sure I was okay. I flashed a quick smile. At least some Pokémon cared for me. I smiled and prepared myself for my next big battle...
    Thanks to Eeveeforthebest for responding to me! :)
    Last edited by Miss Mew; 8th June 2013 at 11:38 AM. Reason: Asterik for Aqua

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    Registered User Eeveeforthebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    So far so good. Always cool to meet a friend. :)

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    Talking Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    Now I'm gonna make this the best I can!!!
    Chapter Four: Pokémon liberation? *
    After a long and somewhat painful training session with Aqua, I felt I was ready to face the day's challenges. I had mastered my moves and I had the sense something harder than the battle I had faced before was coming. But, for some reason, our trainer decided to take us back to the Battle Company! I was really proud of myself when I defeated a janitor's Mincinno. Then, he handed over something I had never seen before: an Exp. Share. It looked like the collar for Santa's Sawsbuck!! As I was laughing at it, suddenly Aqua put it on Shoe, who desperately tugged at it, in hopes of tearing it off.
    Then, we walked down a street with a GIANT building (no, not the supermarket) with a mosaic painted on the front. Aqua walked up to it and talked to a friendly-looking man who gave her fresh water. A good thing, too...I was parched! But, strangely, even though she received fresh water, she was disappointed when she walked away. There must've been SOMETHING she wanted to do!!! I sighed lightly and jumped in my Pokéball. Aqua, noticing this, opened my Pokéball and I jumped on her shoulder. I knew from then on I wasn't going to use my Pokéball anymore.
    Suddenly, I heard talking. Then, I soon noticed a girl with blonde hair and a green hat was running up to us. As soon as Aqua started to talk, she burst into tears. Her Munna had been stolen!! Of course, the girl, who revealed her name was Bianca, had to ask where I came from. While Aqua explained to her (during which time I nodded to confirm her correctness) I started to hear voices from a nearby building. I pointed my ears in that direction and Aqua, taking the hint, took off in that direction. We soon found ourselves in a room full of what looked to be ye olde knights! Aqua murmured something about them, and I overheard they were called Team Plasma. Then, one of them came up to Aqua, said, "I'll take that, thank you very much!" and snatched Love-Dove from Aqua!!!
    I let out a low growl which soon turned into an unbelievably loud bark. Maybe I was meant to be a guard Pokémon? Aqua was unbelievably angry too, and she sent me into battle, my spirits raging. The grunt sent out a Sandile. I angrily paced, thinking of a strategy along with Aqua. Aqua then ordered me to use Quick Attack. Before I could do anything, though, the grunt snatched me and then, in fury, demanded for my Pokéball. Aqua refused, and I bit the man's arm. He released me in pain, and I tapped Love-Dove's Pokéball, opening it. Love-Dove and I then proceeded to use a combo attack, Love-Dove using Air Cutter and I using Bite. We both smiled and I slapped my paw against Love-Dove's wing.
    Then, as if it was magic, Love-Dove started to glow! Aqua was looking like this:, and I was staring in wonder. Love-Dove grew taller, broader, and everything under that umbrella. Aqua muttered, "It's evolving..." and soon Love-Dove had evolved into a Tranquill! I was amazed, but I didn't know that I would eventually do this too...
    Last edited by Miss Mew; 8th June 2013 at 11:39 AM. Reason: Asterik for Aqua

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    Registered User Eeveeforthebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    Have you already wrote all of those chapters in your index?

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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    *Sighs* What do you mean by wrote? The title? Either way..Chapter 5: Evolving-Already? *
    Two gym badges later, Aqua had finally taken us to Driftveil City. Bacon had evolved into an Emboar, Love-Dove had evolved yet again into Unfezant, and Leafhead had evolved into Simisage. I felt like the underdog of the group because I was still an Eevee. I was unbelievably afraid Aqua would shove me in a PC box and never even think about me AGAIN. In other news, Aqua had caught a Sandile (which had evolved into Krokorok. Woe is me...). We were wandering around Driftveil, looking for the gym. I sighed and let out a cry. Male Pokémon from all over flocked to the area I was in, because it was mating season for all Pokémon in the field egg group. I ignored their cries, until I saw most of Aqua's Pokémon were after me too. I let out a sigh, looked around, and jumped on a Zorua. It let out a cry of triumph. That is, before Aqua dragged me away. Something told me she did not like the idea of all of my new fans.
    Then, a short while later, I started to glow. Aqua cheered and hugged me, but I did not like the thought of evolving into an Espeon. I had attained almost full friendship with Aqua! When she saw me resisting, she sighed and let me hold back my evolution. A short while later, Aqua swapped Shoe for a Tirtouga she had restored and had it use Surf. I loved sea voyages for some reason, which is why, if I ever did evolve, I wanted to be a Vaporeon. I then was blinded by the light of a lighthouse. This was a small lighthouse to guide traveling ships to their destinations. When we arrived there, I found a water stone. I knew exactly why Aqua had came here right then and I laid down on the water stone. I felt a surge of power in my body. I didn't expect that... I looked at myself before I caught Aqua showing a full-on grin and suddenly felt her hugging my body. My body grew shorter but longer. I felt fins growing around my neck. My tail looked like a mermaid's too. I knew that I was evolving into Vaporeon. What I didn't know was what hardships were coming.
    We returned to Driftveil City and Aqua swapped Tirtouga back for Shoe. She then smiled and ran off. I followed her, knowing that grin meant that she had pinpointed the next gym's location. I followed close, but before we could enter we had ANOTHER Team Plasma run-in. We were told to go to the Cold Storage. We ran off ready to kick some Team Plasma butt.
    We arrived at the Cold Storage minutes later. We realized it was a sliding ice puzzle in there! That, and there was dee-licious Casteliacones in the storage containers... But we had to focus! We first faced a worker dressed in insulated clothing. I was glad water resisted ice and cold... He sent out a Pansear. So he was freezing cold? Oh well! I had brand new water powers! I opened my mouth when Aqua ordered me to use water gun. I focused all of my energy, but I couldn't do a thing! I was then knocked out cold by the Pansear. The black darkness swirled around in my head again...
    I woke up in the Pokémon center and wondered what I had done wrong. "What the hell? I did everything I could and NOTHING happened!!" I angrily mumbled to myself. Aqua said it was time for some training. I went outside and Aqua told me using the power of water was usually not hard to master. Aqua told me to focus and think of anything water I could. Unfortunately, I had to pee, so I wound up peeing myself(really bad) out on the field. Aqua saw this and laughed so loudly all of the other Pokémon laughed too. I intensely blushed, and before I could cause any more pee accidents I finished my leaking by a bush. After Aqua had stopped laughing, I focused my energy once again and only wound up spitting. After twelve more tries I finally managed to use water gun! Aqua smiled at me and hugged me. We walked off, with only Aqua knowing my next unwilling adventure...
    Last edited by Miss Mew; 8th June 2013 at 11:39 AM. Reason: Asterik for Aqua

  11. #11
    Registered User Eeveeforthebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    I mean, you have chapters one through thirteen labeled in your story. Have you already wrote those chapters?

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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    No. Oops. I just realized my next chapter may be better suited as M... And a name change might be in order... I am a mess sometimes....

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    Registered User Eeveeforthebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    Not sure what type of feedback your looking for but this is what I noticed.

    I noticed that when your naming different pokemon either separated by commas or in a list, that sometimes you capitalized one pokemon's name but not the others.

    [First sewaddle, then Venipede, and even Panpour were going missing.]

    Sewaddle is not capitalized where the other two are.

    [Bacon, the Level 20 Pignite.
    Love-Dove, the level 19 pidove.
    Shoe, the level 16 Sawk.
    Leafhead, the level 20 Pansage.]

    I liked the way you separated these four pokemon out, but I see the same capitalization problem in chapter 1. Pidove is not capitalized but the others are.

    I can't really give you feedback on your writing style because it looks like you meant to write that way. The story is good in plot and everything so that's good.
    I believe I saw other small errors in your story. I suggest you fix those for less confusion. If you want a full blown feedback thing, then may I suggest PM'ing @Stratelier;
    He is a much better and dedicated writer than me. He can really help you out if you wish to learn how to become better.
    I just write for fun and don't really care about editing my first story. The advice given to me my Stratelier I will use in my second story, whenever that will be.

    Hope he can help you. Your friend, Eeveeforthebest. :)

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    Registered User Stratelier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    (You do know that any time you @UserName; somebody it actually sends them a notification about it?)

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    With Lady Rainicorn too! Miss Mew's Avatar
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    Default Re: Life of a Pokémon: The Agony of Battles and What a Trainer is Worth

    Haha. Of course. Hope there isn't anybody called UserName...

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