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Thread: The Life of the Legendaries (Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 16 Up>

  1. #16
    Lighting Things on Fire Sarcastically Insane's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    ... is there a TL;DR for this? I got to the part were they got the item bag.

    NEXT CHAPTER: WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO CHATOT?! DON'T PUT IT IN THE BAG!!!!

    XD I can see that.
    Currently writing Hoenn Wars, a Travelsverse fic that needs no prior Travelsverse knowledge to understand. Chapter Seven, Sacrifice, is up.



    That's interesting; I might have a look when I have the time. Thanks!

    EDIT: Oh my god, these are too many links! Very specific...
    ^Someone's first impression of TVTropes.

  2. #17
    Requiem Raver Drakon's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    Yeah, I have a habit of writing long. This is an average chapter length for me.

    And yes, the item bag inside an item bag thing will occur later and true to Wigglytuff's words; it will not be pretty sight.
    What are the Legendaries really like? Find out in The Life of the Legendaries

    Humans and pokémon no longer live in harmony. Hear their tales in The Poké Wars Chronicles: Tales From A World At War

    Cynthia once had it all: powerful pokémon, fame and hordes of adoring fans. But Ho-oh's campaign tears her life asunder. Now to survive this deadly new world, she must do the one thing that she never wanted: kill. Follow her trials through a world at war in Poké Wars: Downfall of a Champion

  3. #18
    Requiem Raver Drakon's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    WARNING: Contains some weird imagery.

    ------------------------

    Chapter 4: Basalt Crevice

    Last edited by Drakon; 17th July 2010 at 02:59 PM.
    What are the Legendaries really like? Find out in The Life of the Legendaries

    Humans and pokémon no longer live in harmony. Hear their tales in The Poké Wars Chronicles: Tales From A World At War

    Cynthia once had it all: powerful pokémon, fame and hordes of adoring fans. But Ho-oh's campaign tears her life asunder. Now to survive this deadly new world, she must do the one thing that she never wanted: kill. Follow her trials through a world at war in Poké Wars: Downfall of a Champion

  4. #19
    Registered User Amaura's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    LOL!!!!!!!! I love this! ^^
    all my life I wish I broke mirrors instead of promises
    'Cause all I see is a shattered conscience staring back at me

  5. #20
    Insane since 2012 Spiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    "I'm...i'm Naked.."
    "WE'RE ALL NAKED! ARE YOU HIDING SMUT?"

    LOL!!!!!

    Anyway, although this is absolutely brilliant, pure gold even. I'd just like to ask if a little bit of this idea came from a Oneshot fic i posted afew weeks ago. I wouldn't consider it stealing, but i'd just like to know. Don't take any offence

    Credit for the amazingly awesome banner goes to Blazaking EX!!!
    Credit for the equally awesome Avatar goes to 'Kingdra!!!
    My Fanfiction account, reveiws welcome

  6. #21
    Requiem Raver Drakon's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    Quote Originally Posted by Spiny View Post
    "I'm...i'm Naked.."
    "WE'RE ALL NAKED! ARE YOU HIDING SMUT?"

    LOL!!!!!

    Anyway, although this is absolutely brilliant, pure gold even. I'd just like to ask if a little bit of this idea came from a Oneshot fic i posted afew weeks ago. I wouldn't consider it stealing, but i'd just like to know. Don't take any offence
    Thank you, and no, this fic was created before your oneshot was posted.
    What are the Legendaries really like? Find out in The Life of the Legendaries

    Humans and pokémon no longer live in harmony. Hear their tales in The Poké Wars Chronicles: Tales From A World At War

    Cynthia once had it all: powerful pokémon, fame and hordes of adoring fans. But Ho-oh's campaign tears her life asunder. Now to survive this deadly new world, she must do the one thing that she never wanted: kill. Follow her trials through a world at war in Poké Wars: Downfall of a Champion

  7. #22
    Insane since 2012 Spiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    Quote Originally Posted by Drakon View Post
    Thank you, and no, this fic was created before your oneshot was posted.
    Oh. well i must say. this fic is really brilliant!

    Credit for the amazingly awesome banner goes to Blazaking EX!!!
    Credit for the equally awesome Avatar goes to 'Kingdra!!!
    My Fanfiction account, reveiws welcome

  8. #23
    May Still Have Hope TeamGalacticMercury's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    I agree! I loved this fic!

  9. #24
    Out of the sky Vaexa's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    ''Crackfic'' is really the best word for this. I laughed so hard that my insides nearly exploded. Keep this up!
    Oh, and BTW, I facepalmed at Latios' dream. It was absolutely brilliant.
    Everything is possible in the game of life.

  10. #25
    Requiem Raver Drakon's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    Chapter 5: Cocktail Party

    Groudon and Kyogre entered Spinda's Café. The café was filled with pokémon, both townsfolk and guild members. A band of Ludicolo and Bellossom dancers in the back provided entertainment.

    Groudon went up the bartender, a Spinda who appeared to be intoxicated himself. "Erm, two drinks," Groudon said.

    "Do you have any custom ingredients?" the Spinda asked.

    "Custom ingredients?"

    "Yeah, sometimes pokémon ask me to make drinks for them out of things they buy or find from the dungeons."

    "We have no custom ingredients," Groudon replied.

    "All right then, enjoy your Shaymin Spritzer," the bartender replied, pouring a green liquor, a clear golden liquor and a clear liquid that seemed to have a slight rainbow tint to it into a cocktail shaker. He then started mixing the cocktail while dancing around in a circle.

    After a few minutes, he finished with a pirouette. "And it's done!" he announced. He then fished out two cocktail glasses, and portioned the green mixture into the glasses and garnished them with some sliced pecha berries.

    Groudon took the glasses and left sixty Poké for the bartender. He sat with Kyogre on one of the tables.

    "So what do you think is next on the agenda?" Groudon asked, sipping his cocktail.

    "Probably dinner and a planning session for tomorrow," Kyogre replied. She sniffed her cocktail.

    "Not going to drink yours?" Groudon asked, eyeing the cocktail.

    Kyogre scowled. "No, you can't have mine!" she replied, sipping her cocktail.

    Groudon shrugged and downed the rest of his cocktail in a single gulp. He then returned the glass and sat next to Kyogre. "Ky, what do you think we should wear for tomorrow?" he asked, fingering the pecha scarf he was wearing.

    "First off, do not call me 'Ky'. Ever," Kyogre replied, taking another sip of her cocktail.

    "Sorry."

    Kyogre drained her cocktail. "In any case, we'll probably wear the same stuff we're wearing today," she said.

    At this point, Breaker entered the café.

    "All members of Wigglytuff's Guild; return for dinner!" Breaker said.

    Groudon, Kyogre, Bidoof and Loudred followed Breaker out of the café.

    ***


    They then entered Wigglytuff's guild and made their way to the second sublevel where the mess hall was located.

    "Dinner's ready!" Chimecho called said, poking her head out from the mess hall.

    The pokémon filed into the mess hall and sat down at the massive wooden table.

    Groudon beheld the quantities of fresh fruit and fruit dishes that were piled on the table. His mouth watered as the sweet aroma reached his nose

    "Groudon," Sunflora whispered, "you're drooling."

    "Sorry," Groudon said, wiping his mouth with the pecha scarf.

    "Now, first order of business," Chatot said, "is tomorrow's errands."

    Everybody groaned.

    Chatot flapped his wings. "Now, now, errands are important. While they are not as glamorous as expeditions, they keep the guild running," he said.

    "Sunflora, Loudred! You two ask the Kecleon brothers about their stock. Corphish, Bidoof, you two clean up around the guild. Groudon, Kyogre, you two help Scriptor file away the mission requests.

    "Who's Scriptor?" Kyogre asked.

    "Me," a Smeargle sitting next to Dugtrio said.

    "Okay, hi,"

    "Well in any case, I look forward to working with you!" Scriptor replied.

    Chatot flapped his wings again. "All right, now that-"

    "Hey, we should congratulate Kyogre and Groudon for completing their first mission!" Wigglytuff said, cutting Chatot off.

    "But Guildmaster, we never celebrated anyone's first mission," Chatot said.

    "But we've never had Legendaries before!"

    Suddenly, there was a deep, low rumble.

    "Earthquake?" Loudred asked.

    Groudon blushed. "Sorry, it's my stomach. I'm hungry,"

    The entire guild burst into laughter, except Chatot, who appeared mildly irritated.

    "In any case, let's eat!" Wigglytuff said.

    Soon, the guild members were heaping fruit upon their plates and greedily eating.

    "Hey, this stewed oran berry is good!" Groudon said, syrup dripping down his chin.

    Kyogre's mouth was too full of food to talk.

    Several minutes later, everyone had eaten their fill and Chimecho was clearing the table. The others headed their rooms.

    "Groudon, you've got syrup on your face," Kyogre said. Both she and Groudon were in the second sublevel and on their way to their rooms.

    Groudon took his pecha scarf off and wiped his face with it.

    "Groudon! That is not a napkin!" Kyogre scolded.

    Groudon grumbled but said nothing as they entered their room.

    Kyogre took off her blue silk and stuck it the treasure bag. Groudon took off his pecha scarf and hung it on a rack against the back wall.

    "Good night," Groudon said, laying on the bed of straw and falling asleep.

    "You can at least help me wash your damn scarf!" Kyogre shouted.

    Suddenly, there was a knocking on the door.

    Kyogre opened the door to reveal a rather upset Dugtrio. "Kyogre, please do not shout. My son and I have jobs that require us to be well rested," he said.

    "Fine," Kyogre replied. She then went out into the hallway, found a bucket, carried it back to her room, used a weak Water Pulse to fill it with water and began washing Groudon's pecha scarf.

    ***


    Back at the Hall of Origins, day was breaking and the Legendaries were gradually awakening and going about their daily business.

    A blue flash from the foyer signaled Mewtwo's arrival. He was wearing a white lab coat and looked extremely tired.

    "I see you are mildly upset but at the same time you seem to be pleased," Mespirit said. She was on her way to the dining room when she passed by Mewtwo.

    "Mespirit, I am really looking forward to a hot shower, not you talking," Mewtwo said.

    He then headed for his room. Mespirit continued to the dining room.

    ***


    Lugia was awake and sitting at his desk and working on Shaymin's self portrait. Dialga was still asleep on the floor and the door was open.

    Why does Dialga have such a big mouth? Now everyone knows about my problem. I was just glad I was able change out of my wet diaper without him waking up. I don't even want to know what would happen if he woke up during that process. Lugia thought, as he erased an accidental mark on the paper.

    "Baby Lugia! Where's my portrait!" Shaymin shouted from the threshold of the door.

    "I'm almost done! And don't call me 'Baby Lugia'!" Lugia shouted back.

    "Well, you said that yesterday! I'm not paying you if you don't get my work done!"

    Lugia put his pencil down and faced Shaymin. "Shaymin, I'm only going to say this once. Smoke your damn gracidea joints!" he said.

    "Mewtwo says they're bad for me," Shaymin replied.

    "I don't give a shit! Your Land Forme is bad for everyone else!"

    Dialga was awakened by the argument between the two Legends. He chose to look at a landscape of Fire Island hanging on the wall. He then took some sniffs of the room.

    "LUGIA, WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE BABY POWDER IN THIS ROOM?" he asked.

    "That's none of your business!" Lugia shot back. He then returned to finishing the portrait of Shaymin.

    A few minutes later, he handed the completed portrait to Shaymin. "Here's your portrait," he said.

    Shaymin telekinetically carried it back to her room and left 700 Poké on a ceramic bowl that sat on an end table near the door.

    Lugia sighed. "She's so obnoxious," he said.

    "SO'S UXIE," Dialga replied.

    Lugia glared at him. "You didn't," he said threateningly.

    "I DIDN'T TELL HIM TO ERASE THE MEMORY!" Dialga then started laughing.

    "What is so funny?"

    "SEEING YOU IN A DIAPER! IMAGINE THE GUARDIAN OF THE SEAS IS STILL IN DIAPERS!"

    "Dialga, you're too damned loud! I bet everyone in the Hall of Origins heard you," Lugia replied.

    "LET'S GO EAT BREAKFAST," Dialga said.

    Lugia then got out of his chair and floated out the door with Dialga following him.

    ***


    In the kitchen, Latios was busy preparing breakfast and all of the other Legends were seated around the table. The kitchen was decorated in a bland but tasteful gold and white tile design.

    Suddenly, all activity stopped at hearing Dialga's voice echo through the hall.

    "What?" Latios asked, accidentally flipping a pancake onto the oatmeal.

    "Did Dialga just say that?" Rayquaza asked, putting his cup of coffee down.

    "He did," Latias replied.

    "It seems that Dialga has found this entertaining and Lugia has found it distressing," Mespirit replied, opening her eyes.

    All of a sudden, peals of laughter echoed around the kitchen. Even the normally stolid Entei cracked a smile.

    "All right, enough of this!" Arceus said, putting her cup of hot tea down.

    The laughter stopped, except for Mew.

    "Mew, this sort of behavior will not be tolerated!" Entei shouted.

    Mew complied with a small whimper.

    "Entei is correct. We should not laugh at Lugia even if he still does wear diapers," Zapdos said, trying to suppress a snort of laughter.

    As soon as Zapdos finished speaking, Dialga and a very embarrassed Lugia entered the dining room. Shaymin followed them in her Land Forme.

    "I'm hungry!" Shaymin said.

    "Breakfast is being prepared," Latios replied from the kitchen.

    "Work faster!"

    "Shaymin! Shut up or I'll turn you into a salad!" Giratina snapped.

    Shaymin quivered. "You wouldn't!" she replied.

    Giratina opened his mouth to say something but

    "Giratina, dear, ignore her. She'll be better once she gets her gracidea," Arceus replied.

    "Palkia, can you pass the jam?" Ho-Oh asked.

    Palkia, his mouth stuffed with hashbrowns passed the crock of jam to Ho-Oh.

    Lugia said nothing but put butter on a slice of toast.

    "LUGIA, I'M SORRY ABOUT MENTIONING YOUR-" Dialga began before Lugia cut him off with a glare.

    "Can we eat breakfast without Lugia's personal life coming into play?" Suicune asked.

    Latios placed a large platter of oran berry pancakes in the center of the table.

    The Legendaries started helping themselves to the pancakes.

    Arceus nibbled on her pancakes as she thought about today's agenda.
    What are the Legendaries really like? Find out in The Life of the Legendaries

    Humans and pokémon no longer live in harmony. Hear their tales in The Poké Wars Chronicles: Tales From A World At War

    Cynthia once had it all: powerful pokémon, fame and hordes of adoring fans. But Ho-oh's campaign tears her life asunder. Now to survive this deadly new world, she must do the one thing that she never wanted: kill. Follow her trials through a world at war in Poké Wars: Downfall of a Champion

  11. #26
    May Still Have Hope TeamGalacticMercury's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    Nice chap! I can't wait for the next chapter.

  12. #27
    Out of the sky Vaexa's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    Lol. Just... Lol. This is so fucking funny. Can't wait for the next chapter.
    Everything is possible in the game of life.

  13. #28
    Requiem Raver Drakon's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    Thanks!

    So what does everyone want?

    More Lugia humiliation? More Latios abuse? More Darkrai induced dreams? Some Lugia/Dialga slash? More obnoxious, chain smoking Shaymin? More diapered Lugia? More Lugia doing art work? More Groudon and Kyogre exploration? More drunk Giratina? All of the above?
    What are the Legendaries really like? Find out in The Life of the Legendaries

    Humans and pokémon no longer live in harmony. Hear their tales in The Poké Wars Chronicles: Tales From A World At War

    Cynthia once had it all: powerful pokémon, fame and hordes of adoring fans. But Ho-oh's campaign tears her life asunder. Now to survive this deadly new world, she must do the one thing that she never wanted: kill. Follow her trials through a world at war in Poké Wars: Downfall of a Champion

  14. #29
    追放されたバカ
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    Quote Originally Posted by Drakon View Post
    Thanks!

    So what does everyone want?

    More Lugia humiliation? More Latios abuse? More Darkrai induced dreams? Some Lugia/Dialga slash? More obnoxious, chain smoking Shaymin? More diapered Lugia? More Lugia doing art work? More Groudon and Kyogre exploration? More drunk Giratina? All of the above?
    All of the above. Go on, take your time with the next chapter.

  15. #30
    Out of the sky Vaexa's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (PG -13; Shipping; Crackfic)

    MOAR LATIOS ABUSE PLZ
    I loved that part.
    Everything is possible in the game of life.

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