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Thread: The Life of the Legendaries (Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 16 Up>

  1. #136
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 12 Up>

    I find this really funny, keep up the good work!

    The Below Sentence is True.
    The Above Sentence is False.
    What happens when Pinocchio says, "My nose will grow right NOW!"?

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 11 Up>

    Quote Originally Posted by Zekurom View Post
    So did I, and I closed it right afterwards. I shrugged it off too, but not before making a face. (And by "seen", I mean "read".)

    It's hard to find smut that's not revolting.
    ARE YOU HIDING SMUT?

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 11 Up>

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno26 View Post
    ARE YOU HIDING SMUT?
    At least it's not out in the open like these guys'. :P
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Requiem Raver Drakon's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 12 Up>

    Bump. Just so you know this is NOT dead!

    I have the outline for the next chapter in my head but I am bogged down with schoolwork, Twilight Valley (another fan fiction) and beta-reading Chapter 3 of Cornova's Poké Wars: The Exigence.

    Here is a taste of what is coming up: <hoverskiff rider>Palkia, Altomare Siege, Garchomp, Cynthia, Cyberpunk PMD city and some other stuff I do not want to spoil.
    What are the Legendaries really like? Find out in The Life of the Legendaries

    Humans and pokémon no longer live in harmony. Hear their tales in The Poké Wars Chronicles: Tales From A World At War

    Cynthia once had it all: powerful pokémon, fame and hordes of adoring fans. But Ho-oh's campaign tears her life asunder. Now to survive this deadly new world, she must do the one thing that she never wanted: kill. Follow her trials through a world at war in Poké Wars: Downfall of a Champion

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 12 Up>

    ^^
    Can't wait!

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 12 Up>

    Quote Originally Posted by Drakon View Post
    Bump. Just so you know this is NOT dead!
    You have a better record than I do - I took two months to post the next chapter of a fic that normally updates weekly.

    I have the outline for the next chapter in my head but I am bogged down with schoolwork, Twilight Valley (another fan fiction) and beta-reading Chapter 3 of Cornova's Poké Wars: The Exigence.
    You're beta-reading Poké Wars? That's hardcore.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 12 Up>

    Meh WANT MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    Winner of: Inazuma Eleven Mafia, FALCONWING 3 MAFIA, War Room Mafia 2,
    The Simpsons Mafia, Bloodshed in Blackthorn, Insane Mafia

    Black FC: 4427-8152-0447

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 12 Up>

    Okay, so, here's to the awards!

    Level of crackiness: 12/20

    It kind of dipped around Chapters 6 to 8, where Team KyGrou is saving people and the story actually has some semblance of seriousness, but went right back up again with the sexual humour. Although, that's not something to be abused, let me warn you.

    Level of humour: 15/20

    This story has enough laughter in it to make me actually have to suppress a giggle. A giggle that's hard enough that my parents have to call me to stop laughing.

    Grammar, style, and flow: 7/10

    This story felt overcrowded near the beginning - as Farla from FanFiction.net said, you were simply portraying them as "sugar-high teenagers in a lazy OOC crackfic". While this isn't bad in itself, crowding everybody into the first chapter like that is bound to well... make it seem cheesy and not really cracky.

    It did improve as the story went along, though.

    Overall rating: 71/100

    This was the original crackfic on the BMG fic boards, as I know it. So you have my respects.
    Last edited by Zekurom; 6th October 2010 at 08:08 PM.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 12 Up>

    Quote Originally Posted by Zekurom View Post
    This was the original crackfic on the BMG fic boards, as I know it. So you have my respects.
    It's also my favorite. It's sad, but I think my fics suck and need vast amounts of improvement. It's why I have writer's block sometimes, I just want to revise and add onto my fics continually, and double tasking is never healthy for a writer.

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 12 Up>

    All right after a lot of hard work, here is Chapter 13. Enjoy

    Chapter 13: Bombs Fall, Altomare Dies



    Notes:
    Congratulations to Sugia for giving this idea:
    Have them tie them to the bed, make Garchomp pull out a Indiana Jones hat, and a whip
    .

    Guess where the names of the two AI units, Arkady and Temeraire come from?


    Thanks to Zekurom for letting me use his superpowered pokémon cosplay costumes in my fic. Look for him in this chapter.

    Listen to Unchain the Rain here(set to a montage of Ash's Charizard battling)

    Veekun Arms is named after the Pokémon fansite of the same name.
    Last edited by Drakon; 31st October 2010 at 11:55 AM.
    What are the Legendaries really like? Find out in The Life of the Legendaries

    Humans and pokémon no longer live in harmony. Hear their tales in The Poké Wars Chronicles: Tales From A World At War

    Cynthia once had it all: powerful pokémon, fame and hordes of adoring fans. But Ho-oh's campaign tears her life asunder. Now to survive this deadly new world, she must do the one thing that she never wanted: kill. Follow her trials through a world at war in Poké Wars: Downfall of a Champion

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 13 Up>

    So, I thought the girl usually straddled the guy...

    ...as well, I saw the Temeraire reference, even though I only read the book about 26 pages in. Didn't know about Arkady, though.

    And of course, like any other technology, it has been put to... unclean uses, although Zekurom Industries officially denies such uses.
    Indeed. I can just see how the Pokémon and Trainer duo could be posited >_>

    The "violent sex" scenes were a lot funnier in this one than the last. They just flowed a lot better.

    Also, this:
    “Wait, what?” he asked. “A talking Garchomp? With a Spanish accent? Wearing a brown fedora and carrying a whip!? But my last gracidea joint was twelve hours ago!
    It's funny the way it is, but I think it would have been even funnier if you had linked it back to the movie that Saturn(?) was watching.

    “Wait, what?” he asked. “A talking Garchomp? With a Spanish accent? Wearing a brown fedora and carrying a whip!? I thought I had turned my Champ-Chomp IV VR machine off!
    Just like that. Makes the ChampChomp phenomenon seem more universal XD

    I am not a he!” Zekrom shouted in Isshuese.
    You made a lot of user references here. First me, then Veekun, then "I am not a he".

    Your scene description is exquisite, however.

    Also a few spelling and logic errors:

    You might want to change "Kantoian" to "Kantonian", as you do usually add an "n" in cases like that.
    Also, "adding a green force field under the green one." I think you meant under the blue one there.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Requiem Raver Drakon's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 13 Up>

    Thank you.

    I tend to get a bit "techno-porny" when it comes to science-fiction technology, especially military tech.

    As for the ChampChomp thing, there will be more of it. And Veekun Arms. And Zekurom Industries.

    And Arkady appears in the later Temeraire books.
    What are the Legendaries really like? Find out in The Life of the Legendaries

    Humans and pokémon no longer live in harmony. Hear their tales in The Poké Wars Chronicles: Tales From A World At War

    Cynthia once had it all: powerful pokémon, fame and hordes of adoring fans. But Ho-oh's campaign tears her life asunder. Now to survive this deadly new world, she must do the one thing that she never wanted: kill. Follow her trials through a world at war in Poké Wars: Downfall of a Champion

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 13 Up>

    Quote Originally Posted by Pentacarbonyl View Post
    As for the ChampChomp thing, there will be more of it. And Veekun Arms. And Zekurom Industries.
    Hold on, this fic goes on FanFiction.net too, right? So... you're using a Bulbagarden meme, in that case.

    And Arkady appears in the later Temeraire books.
    How are those books, anyway? I can't be arsed to read to the end of them.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 13 Up>

    Sorry this couldn't have been said earlier.

    THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!

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    Requiem Raver Drakon's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Life of the Legendaries (R; Shipping; Crackfic) <Chapter 13 Up>

    Thanks.

    What cam I say? I love humiliating Lugia.

    The "techno-porn" is an "author appeal" thing.
    What are the Legendaries really like? Find out in The Life of the Legendaries

    Humans and pokémon no longer live in harmony. Hear their tales in The Poké Wars Chronicles: Tales From A World At War

    Cynthia once had it all: powerful pokémon, fame and hordes of adoring fans. But Ho-oh's campaign tears her life asunder. Now to survive this deadly new world, she must do the one thing that she never wanted: kill. Follow her trials through a world at war in Poké Wars: Downfall of a Champion

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