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Thread: Legacy

  1. #1
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    Default Legacy

    Now, my fanfics haven't been very good, but this one is good. It's called Legacy. Let's begin!

    Chapter One
    The Reunion

    Welcome to the pokemon world. The pokemon world is a planet that is inhabited by 493 different species. Well, no one knows how many diffrent species there actually are- that's why loads of trainers go on a life-long journey once they reach the age of 11. They go on a journey because pokemon professors need this infomation to complete the national pokedex.

    It's not an easy task, however- you must train these species to find other unseen pokemon. Millions of trainers are on that quest right now. But with evil people around, it makes it even harder.

    Evil people like the so far unseen Team Dusk. They only leave their signatare where they have been bad. Based on what we have learnt, they want to the best techology to track down legendary pokemon.

    One 11 year old boy, Allum Takenouchi, wants to help track down Team Dusk. This story starts off in calm port of Redwood Town, hidden peacefully in the region of Fenna, north of Lilycove City in the Hoenn region. Allum has just left his homecity (Lilycove City) to start his long journey in the Fenna region.

    Allum walked onto the pier, which was crowded by a swarm of wonderfully white Wingull. They flew from one side of the pier to the other elegantly, as Allum continued his way across to land.

    His first stop was the pokemon center, where he was about to chat to his mother over the video-phones. He walked through the automatic door, checking the different corners to see where the phones were. He found one, so he ran over to it, just to find that they were all out of order. Great. Allum thought to himself.

    He sat down on the sofa to have a little rest. A pink haired girl, probaly the same age as himself, accidentally nudged him when she sat next to Allum. She turned her head to say sorry to him, just to find out who it actually was. "Allum?" She asked curiously.

    "Huh?" Allum turned his head, noticing his best friend. "Titania! We haven't seen each other since we were five! It's such a surprise to see you again!" Allum and Titania hugged each other. "I see you dyed your hair to pink, right?"

    "That's right!" She brushed her hand through her lengthy hair. "My blonde hair made me look strange, so then I dyed it straight away. I see you've kept your unique blue hair."

    "Heheheh. At least I didn't dye my hair. And it goes so well with my rainbow- coloured eyes!" Allum replied sarcastically. "So, where should we go first? Have you got a starter pokemon?"

    "Nope. I purposely wanted to get my starter pokemon the same time you did. C'mon, lets go!" Alum and Titania left the pokemon center.

    Allum and Titania walked up a path that led to the professor's lab. But a strange pokemon was in the way. "I'll get rid of that, Titania." Allum creeped up to it.

    "Do you know what it actaully is?" Titania asked.

    "Of course I do!"

    The pokemon opened it's mouth with a yawn. "Munch-lax!"

    "At least, I think I do." Allum tried to push it, but it didn't move. "It won't budge! Titania, can you help me move this blue blob?"

    Titania helped move the Munchlax as well. Munchlax yawned, and then went to sleep. "That's not helping!" Titania noticed a red object in Munchlax's hand. "Huh? Allum, what is it holding?"

    "It's a pokedex." Allum took the pokedex out of Munchlax's hand. "Should we keep it?"

    "Isn't it stealing?"

    "What, from a pokemon?" Allum pressed a button, which switched the pokedex on. The camera in the middle of the two screens lighted up.

    Munchlax, the Big Eater Pokemon. In its desperation to gulp down food, it forgets about the food it has hidden under its fur.”

    An old man with grey hair walked up to the kids, returning the Munchlax into it's pokeball. "Are you stealing my pokedex?" His booming voice shouted.

    "Gah! Sorry, sir." Allum gave back the pokedex.

    "Thank you. My name is Professor Pine. If you want a pokemon and pokedex, you should follow me. Quickly!" Professor Pine walked up the steps to the lab, with Allum and Titania following him. He opened the door.

    There were loads of empty boxes scattered over the floor. Someone had stolen all of the pokemon!
    Last edited by Pidgeot; 12th May 2009 at 10:30 AM.

  2. #2
    Jiggly Lover Blondie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Legacy

    pretty good prologue, ill read it!

  3. #3
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Default Re: Legacy

    I have to say, it's rife with basic spelling errors. Like these:

    Quote Originally Posted by Satoshi♪Hikari View Post
    Evil people like the so far unseen Team Dusk. They only leave their signutare were they have been bad.
    "signature" and "where", although if they're so-far unseen, why are we hearing about them from the getgo? What do they do that's so bad?

    "Are you stealing my pokedex?" His booming voice shouted.
    Is his voice shouting on its own, or is he using it TO shout? Moreover, it needs to be part of the previous sentence, meaning that it has to have a lowercase "h" in "his".

    The last part is strange. Why is Pine in such a hurry? And there's no sense of shock when they find that the lab has been ransacked.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Legacy

    Chapter Two
    The Mysterious Man

    Professor Pine trampled over all the empty boxes, noticing some of the pokeballs that were left untaken. He picked up the untaken pokeballs, releasing the pokemon to see what were in them. They were just Magikarps, flopping about on the floor. “Humph. It seems…” Professor Pine started, “That some strangers have just stole all of my pokeballs.”

    Titania gasped. “But…why? Why would anybody do this?”

    “Perhaps because their not bothered to train their own pokemon?” Allum walked over to a table with three slots in it. Only one of the pokeballs had gone. “Look, Pro. Pine! There’s two pokeballs left!”

    “Hmm….this person only wanted the one pokemon. What is wrong with the other two pokemon?” He looked at the pokeballs left. “The pokemon he stole was the fire type pokemon, Cyndaquil. He left the Chikorita and Totodile. I can’t remember what Cyndaquil would have to be better.”

    “Well, you wouldn’t, would you?” a mysterious voice replied. He came out from hiding. “I stole your pokemon!”

    Professor Pine swung his arm to get ready for a punch. “YOU GIVE THEM BACK!”

    “Only after a good battle. I’ll choose… Arbok!” Arbok came out of the pokeball with a flash. It writhled it’s tail, and showed off it’s tounge at the same time.

    “Then I’ll use Scyther! X-Scizzor!” Two arms slashed across Arbok’s face markings. It jumped back, ready to obey its leader.

    “Arbok, use Bite!” Arbok quickly disapeared, then reappeared, and bit Scyther horribly.

    “Arbok, the snake pokemon. This pokemon’s marking differ when born in different regions.” The pokedex said.

    “Wow… I really want that Pokémon!” Allum told Titania.

    “What? You want a blood-sucking snake!?” Allum nodded. “Humph. Boys will be boys.”

    “Scyther, use Slash!” Scyther tried to slash Arbok, but Arbok quickly ducked out of the way. Scyther slashed the wall instead of Arbok. “If we continue to battle, my lab will be destroyed, and you’ll get the blame. You want to go through with this?”

    “Heheheh… who do you think I am?” The man grabbed a poster from his backpack. It said the following:

    Jack Sherwood
    27 Years Old
    Wanted burglar, must be found, dead or alive

    “I am a wanted criminal. Shows how much trouble you’re really in, hmmm?” He grabbed his gun from his pocket, and pointed it at Professor Pine. Allum and Titania gasped. “What ‘cha goin’ to do now, hey?”

    “You haven’t got the guts. You wouldn’t kill one of the most important men in the region. You’d better put that gun down. NOW!”

    “Oh really?” He quickly ran away. “Asta la vista, baby!” The man jumped out of the window, but a Chikorita, Cyndaquil and Totodile used their signature moves on him. “Gaaagh!”

    “Mr Sherwood, you are under arrest.” An officer pointed her handgun at the burglar.

    “Wha!? Who told you I was burgling Professor Pine?” Allum and Titania smiled.

    The officer handcuffed the burglar, and sat him in the police car. She told her fellow police officers, “Take them away, boys. Take them away.”

    Professor Pine placed three pokeballs on the table. They were the starter pokemon: Chikorita, Cyndaquil and Totodile. “Now, you two, choose your pokemon.”

    Allum picked up the ball containing Chikorita. “I’ll choose Chikorita. Back in the Hoenn region, I got Treecko, so I always get grass types.”

    Titania picked up the ball containing Totodile. “Then I’ll choose Totodile. I love cute pokemon!”

    Professor Pine stood up confidently. “And now, following Fenna’s tradition….BEGIN YOUR BATTLE!”

    And there's chapter two.


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