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  1. #1
    Eeny Leeney Miny Mo! *Leeney Hakurei*'s Avatar
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    Default Leeney's Poetry

    Hi everyone! This is a thread where I would be putting some of the poems I did in my English class here. I'm happy to get any suggestions to improve my skills

    Poem 1: Fly
    Orange Wings of
    Failure
    You fell down again trying to soar
    On the 1st summer
    999 summers later there is now boredom, hate and sorrow
    Of nothing to live for
    That sure isn't the great purple over the mountain mood
    My heart burns with a red passion to spread my wings
    Your heart may be blue from your broken attitude
    With having one still striding turns you green with envy
    With me having 2 pretty pink wings and flying through the stars
    Now it's two shades of blue but still have a smile
    It's the 1000th summer so have confidence
    I'm right beside you
    Don't fear
    Take my hand and
    Fly over the rainbow!

    I got the 1000th summer part from this anime called AirTv. Hoped you liked it

    ~Dressed for success

  2. #2
    Registered User King Koop's Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    good, so you're not really using a rhyme scheme?

  3. #3
    Eeny Leeney Miny Mo! *Leeney Hakurei*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    Nah. I'm not good at rhyming.

    Poem 2: Ode to Candy
    I'm staring at the sun
    Bright as light
    but unlike the sun I can touch it
    And evem taste it
    Super sweet sensation
    If you guessed I was eating candy you were right
    Candy is my escape to reality
    Taffy can be my jumprope
    Or an infinite stecthband
    Hard candy can be my jewel
    The center of my necklace
    The light of my eye
    Or soft candy
    When I can suck on the flavor forever

    My first piece
    It's heaven
    Cherry.Blueberry, Raspberry
    I don't care, I'll still eat it
    But it's already over
    I swallowed it

    Poem 3: Last Sunset
    Have you ever watched the sunset
    The time the bright, intelligent sun leaves
    and goes on to shine somewhere else
    I've never seen one up close with all the colors
    Red, orange, yellow all in one array
    But anyway most of the bad things happen in the day(in my opinion)
    Wars, deaths, robberies, spammers
    Doing those things just make it easier during sunlight,
    that so-called light that's suppose to help us all
    Life is like a flame
    it starts small and as time goes on it spreads
    Similar to a trend don't you think?
    So I never want the sun to rise again
    I'll always see red, yellow and orange
    And all the trouble follows the sun wherever it goes.

    ~Dressed for success

  4. #4
    Registered User King Koop's Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    Nice. These seem almost more like song lyrics than poetry.

  5. #5
    Eeny Leeney Miny Mo! *Leeney Hakurei*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    Really? I've never thought of them as songs.

    ~Dressed for success

  6. #6
    Registered User King Koop's Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    That's really what they sound like to me.

  7. #7
    Eeny Leeney Miny Mo! *Leeney Hakurei*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    then maybe i should change the title to Leeney's songs?

    ~Dressed for success

  8. #8
    Registered User King Koop's Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    Compose some music for it and sure. haha
    Very songlike poems.

  9. #9
    Jiggly Lover Blondie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    these are very beautiful sounding...and yea I agree that they would sound great to music. :)

  10. #10
    Eeny Leeney Miny Mo! *Leeney Hakurei*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    More poetry! This time I go Haiku after taking a tour of my school

    Haiku 1:
    The sky is crying
    Tears are giving plants water
    A new life is born

    2:
    A small blade of grass
    It grows for over a mile
    Comsuming track fields

    3:
    It's morning again
    I don't see any sunshine
    But I feel the wind

    4:
    Five! Four! Three! Two! One!
    Grey clouds move to block the sun
    Zero! Now it's done

    5:
    The sun rises now
    My friend moon leaves for the day
    But the clouds blocked it
    Last edited by *Leeney Hakurei*; 14th May 2009 at 04:14 PM.

    ~Dressed for success

  11. #11
    Poet Laureate AiedailEclipsed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    There really good, do you do this like professionally?
    "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it."
    -- Narrator, Pokemon: Jirachi Wish Maker
    "You can't change the world without getting your hands dirty."
    -- Lelouch Lamperouge, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion
    "Do I have a stamp on my forehead that says, 'The National Spokesperson for the Plight of Black People'? How the hell should I know the black perspective on The Color Purple? That's it, if I don't change classes, I'm gonna hurt this fool. Teachers treat me like I'm some kind of Rosetta stone for African-Americans. What? Black people learn how to read, and we all miraculously come to the same conclusion?"
    -- Victoria, Freedom Writers
    "N's heart is pure and innocent. But there is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence."
    -- Concordia, Pokémon Black/White 2

  12. #12
    Eeny Leeney Miny Mo! *Leeney Hakurei*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    nope, i do this for fun

    ~Dressed for success

  13. #13
    Poet Laureate AiedailEclipsed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    Well, writer to writer, could you take a look at mine? And recommend some changes?
    "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it."
    -- Narrator, Pokemon: Jirachi Wish Maker
    "You can't change the world without getting your hands dirty."
    -- Lelouch Lamperouge, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion
    "Do I have a stamp on my forehead that says, 'The National Spokesperson for the Plight of Black People'? How the hell should I know the black perspective on The Color Purple? That's it, if I don't change classes, I'm gonna hurt this fool. Teachers treat me like I'm some kind of Rosetta stone for African-Americans. What? Black people learn how to read, and we all miraculously come to the same conclusion?"
    -- Victoria, Freedom Writers
    "N's heart is pure and innocent. But there is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence."
    -- Concordia, Pokémon Black/White 2

  14. #14
    Eeny Leeney Miny Mo! *Leeney Hakurei*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    Poem:5? Not my best, alot of onemonapeias(spelling?)
    Action Packed Day
    Boom!
    Be prepared for your doom!
    Bam!
    You'll lose the fight with my jam!
    Sweet!
    I hope you fall to your defeat!
    Wow!
    Time to unleash my power, Boom! Bam! Pow!
    Super!
    Oh no he's about to block me with his counter!
    Power!
    My strength increased every hour!
    Honor!
    I punch the ground and made a tremor
    Action!
    I'll decrease your power by a fraction!
    Dream!
    I was dreaming, there wasn't as muh action as it seemed.

    ~Dressed for success

  15. #15
    Eeny Leeney Miny Mo! *Leeney Hakurei*'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Leeney's Poetry

    Poem 6: My Only Love
    Lesson learned
    uuniqueness in real life means nothing
    cause I'm never appreciated
    in real life my self esteem is torn in half like paper
    all I have now are fictional characters fom cartoons
    now he is my only love

    Poem 7: Couldn't think of a name.
    Always having a positve attitude
    and sharing the love
    rounding about all of his friends
    omitting all the times he's been defeated and
    never gives up

    Can you find out what type of poems these are?

    ~Dressed for success

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