Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War - Snow - Page 13

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  1. #181
    Get the cool shoeshine! Glitchitar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    Ah...my first review.Hope my sleepiness won't hinder this! I literally read only half of the story, more or less. So let's begin!(stretches hands)]
    Grammar: 13.75/20 more or less. Growls aside,you managed to get OK marks. Your downfall is errors like Your and ti.
    Emotion and Characterization: 15.5/20. Gold's personality is well... a bit common,yet not so common, he is, from my point of view, egoistic, a bit of a show-off . Kris's personality is quite likable, emotional, keeps her spirit up, and she knows Gold is her only obstacle. Hanoko, bring her back! Fits the role of Cranky Old Lady!We need her to break the seriousness! When Kris breaks down, you make it very, very emotional. When Gold made a reference to *insert gem here* and Kris bombarded him with guilt,Gold probably at the first sentence after that, seemed sad for her, next probably, melodrama.
    Storyline: 14.5/20: Interesting. Lots of background here. Though the battles weren't exactly interesting, they were OK. A bit cracky, which is good.
    Though I feel like I'm missing something, the Overall is
    *drum roll*
    81/100 maybe? a bit more like 7.9/10. This is a fresh Tomato to make it simple. A very fresh potato! *blinks*I-I-I mean Tomato!
    Last edited by Glitchitar; 7th February 2011 at 08:10 AM.

  2. #182
    Moderator AceTrainer14's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    Thanks for the review :)

    I apologise for the long delay with getting this part started, and I apologise in advance for the fact I am now going away for several days on a trip! However, I hope you enjoy Part One and look forward to the next.



    “Meganium, if we ever take another holiday, we are coming back here!”

    It was midday on a sleep Sunday afternoon in Mahogany Town, nearly three weeks after Kris and Gold’s intense battle on in the Whirl Islands. And the weather up in the northern mountain town couldn’t be any different: a pleasant warming sun radiating above them, with a cooling breeze wafting in between the tall trees and old cottages.
    The town was relatively small, with the large Mahogany Gym, specializing in Ice Pokemon, taking up a large area of land. A variety of small homes, painted mostly in earthly colours, were placed neatly around the surrounding cliffs and hills. Mount Mortar stretched high into the sky above their heads, the rocky structure threatening to cast huge shadows across the town as the day went on. Three grassy, tree filled routes surrounded them as well: one headed towards the usually damp Lake of Rage in the north, another headed to Route 42 to the West, whilst the final route would go towards the Ice Path in the East.

    Kris had been in Mahogany Town for a week now and absolutely loved it. From the quaint little shops with tons of merchandise, to the picture perfect scenery, the young girl was already planning to set up a holiday home here. It was the most beautiful place to train, battling amongst multiple areas of grass with crowds of Pokemon and the elderly residents watching her. Their friendly advice had really helped Kris out when she finally challenged Pryce, the local aging gym leader.

    A furious three on three battle ensued inside the frosty gym, with Ampharos, Miltank and her newly evolved Seadra, Horsea’s first evolution, fighting intensely to help Kris win the badge. Though Ampharos was still struggling with her Electric moves, a powerful Fire Punch and Focus Blast made up for that when defeated Dewgong and badly injuring Mamoswine before falling to Earthquake. Seadra than washed Mamoswine away, proudly showing off her new skills in defeating him, though an unfortunate Toxic meant she fell at the same time. The final Pokemon, Weavile, proved no trouble for Miltank: with aide from her Milk Drink, the shiny Pokemon was able to bash Weavile backwards with multiple Brick Breaks, easily giving Kris the win due to the double weakness.

    But after winning the Glacier Badge, Kris decided it was time for a break: she had been training non stop for ages, and her Pokemon deserved a rest. Borrowing a picnic blanket and a chair from one of the elderly couples, Kris set up a small picnic for her and her Pokemon. Miltank and Seadra were pleased to be pampered following their win, though Ampharos had been sent back to Professor’s Elm’s lab so they would know why she couldn’t use electric attacks. Meganium, Espeon and Magcargo, who had suffered a bad injury and couldn’t take part in the gym battle, joined in the festivities, and Kris laughed and cheered with her team as they ate, drank and played.

    “I can’t believe how much food we ate!” Kris said, clutching her belly and laughing as she lay back in the deck chair. Meganium nodded once again as she lay sleepily along side, not really caring much for conversation. Nearby, the other Pokemon were enjoying themselves: Espeon and Miltank were chasing each other around in a tag-like game, whilst Magcargo rolled around them, creating a great circle of fire as he moved. He was avoiding Seadra, who was using Dive to melt into the grass and reappear at random, testing out her fancy new move. Kris watched them for a short while, but she was tired just like the rest of them, and eventually slunk back in the chair, letting her mind wander off.

    There was another reason why Kris was spending so much time here: Gold.

    Ever since that battle, Kris had been having restless nights. She kept having the same dream over and over: her sinking into the soft wet sand, being pelted by heavy rain. Bayleef, Noctowl, Ampharos, Horsea, Miltank and Magcargo were sinking as well, while Gold looked down at them, laughing loudly and cruelly. His words from the battle echoed around them: what a total cow his daughter would be … You’re just jealous, because I’m wealthy and you’re poor, irritating and unloved … I thought you wanted to find your father … The words very rarely left Kris’ head, haunting her with every step she took. She had felt crushed ever since she had heard those words, a feeling of depression hanging above her. Kris could only escape it by constantly training her Pokemon, the stress and intensity of the mock battles enough to drown her thoughts out.

    But there was one thing Kris was definitely dreading. She had spitefully told Gold that she would be in the area a month from their battle, challenging him to come and battle her. At first, Kris didn’t think Gold would show up, possibly too ashamed by his loss or the things he said in order to show his face. But Kris was beginning to doubt that thought now: Gold was very serious about defeating her, and she knew that he would be enraged after their previous battle. Kris was certain Gold was going to show up now, and she was dreading the idea of running into him. She was only just managing to get over the cruel, hurtful things he had said during that stormy battle: seeing him again was only certain to drag them all up again.

    “Meganium Mega Gani?” Kris’ depressing thoughts were interrupted by the worried call of her starter type. Kris turned around, expecting there to be something wrong, but saw Meganium was standing above her, a worried look on her face.

    “Hey Meganium, what is it?” Kris asked. Meganium gave her a knowing look and raised one of the glorious pink and white petals around her neck up to her trainer’s face. Kris watched as a single tear dripped down onto the petal, a depressing sign amongst the symbol of beauty.

    “Oh, I didn’t even realise I was crying!” Kris said with a forced laugh, and she quickly wiped her eyes. She was embarrassed that she’d been caught crying over this, and could easily tell that Meganium could see past her expression. “I’m fine Meganium, drop it!” Kris said firmly, and she got up and walked past the grass type, going to see what her other Pokemon were doing. All four of them had stopped playing their game, simply lying on their backs or sides and staring at the skies, not caring for the soaking grass from Seadra’s Dive or the fact Magcargo was setting twigs alight with his lava.

    “That looks like a great idea guys!” Kris said cheerily, and she flopped down in between them. Espeon cheekily wagged gave Kris a prod with her two-pronged tail as she tried to get comfortable, and they all laughed as the trainer yelped with fright.

    “Naughty!” Kris chuckled, and she began tickling Espeon furiously. The Psychic Pokemon wailed and giggled, and Miltank rushed forwards and began tickling her in revenge.

    “Mil Mil!” She laughed as Kris collapsed to the earthy ground in a fit of giggles, yet still managing to get a hand into Espeon’s extremely ticklish legs. Seadra and Magcargo began cracking up as well, and soon all five of them were just rolling around on the grass, laughing their hearts out. Meganium walked towards them, rolling her eyes in her vast, fully evolved knowledge. Kris just laughed hysterically at this, and thought it was best to burst her starter’s bubble before she got too a bit too bigheaded. But as Kris looked up to make a remark, she suddenly seized up: something shining silver was flying above their heads, moving quickly towards the town. Her Pokemon all stared up at it as well, and they quickly came to the same conclusion as her.

    “Skarmory…” Kris whispered, slowly standing up with her head tilted towards the sky. The metallic Flying type was beginning to descend, and it was clear that it was in fact that Pokemon. But it also became clear about something else: a figure was hunched over, clinging onto the back of the Skarmory. The clothing they were wearing and the dark hair clamped down under a cap was undeniable, and Kris took a nervous gulp.

    Gold had decided to show up.

    Kris’ Pokemon all exchanged anxious looks as they too recognised Gold and his Skarmory, and stared up concernedly. Kris’ eyes were widening with shock as she stared towards Gold and Skarmory, unable to move, unable to say a word. She looked traumatized, and her Pokemon all felt awkward as they stood there and stared at her, not knowing how to comfort her. Meganium took a cautious step forwards, watching Kris as she began to shake slightly.

    “Meganium Nium Gani?” The grass type asked, waiting for Kris to react. The young girl simply nodded, not even knowing what she was agreeing to. After weeks of fretting and worrying, Gold had finally shown up in Mahogany Town. Kris wasn’t sure how to react: after all this time she had spent trying to get over what had happened, all the hurtful words were rushing back to her. Would she be able to face him again? What if something else happened? She didn’t want to have to think about Ruby or her father or her tough lifestyle during a battle. It was all so tough…

    “Mega Ganium Meganium!” Kris turned as Meganium moved so she was standing alongside, smiling warmly at her whilst staring determinedly towards Mahogany.

    “Espe!” Espeon moved up alongside and too stared towards the mountain town, where Skarmory was still circling to find a place to land. Magcargo and Miltank, carrying Seadra, moved on either side as well, and Kris felt a warm sensation in her hearts as her Pokemon stood by her, waiting to lead her back towards the city. More tears began to form, but Kris was overwhelmed by a very happy emotion this time: she couldn’t believe how strong her Pokemon were being.

    “You guys are awesome!” She said in a teary voice, wiping away her tears as they streamed down her face. Kris reached into her pockets and pulled out an Ultra Ball, one of the most powerful PokeBalls there was. She clasped it tight in her hand, letting the energy radiating from the Pokemon inside rush inside her. She and her Pokemon had the power, the strength and the determination to defeat Gold. All Kris needed was the willpower and emotional strength to endure it.

    “Come on guys!” Kris said shakily, still holding tightly onto the Ultra Ball as if it was her life source. “Let’s see if we can do this!” Her Pokemon all cheered, and they began the walk back towards Mahogany, ready as they could be for the battle that awaited them.
    Last edited by AceTrainer14; 19th May 2011 at 02:41 AM.

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

  3. #183
    Get the cool shoeshine! Glitchitar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    I hate having to quote so I'll do it the smooth way.

    So, apparently, Gold's words have been following her? I'm not surprised.
    When you said "seized up", I think you meant "fell in shock and fell to grass".

    It was creepy when Silver in Gold's body Gold was on top of Crystal.

  4. #184
    Banana eating Gengar GengarEatBanana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    Great chapter. I'm guessing the ledgendary Pokemon is inside that Ultra Ball. Anyway, it's cool how you made Dive let the user melt into the grass.
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  5. #185
    Rocking the Lucario Thundagere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    A passive chapter, but you explored Kris's emotions very well.I absolutely love the characterization you've done here! I also love Gold, and hope that he has Larvitar, or Pupitar, and that Pupitar will destroy Lati@s, but that's my opinion :). Well done overall, but hey, when can I not say that with your fic :)?

    Made by Blue Dragon!

  6. #186
    Moderator AceTrainer14's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    Thanks a lot guys :D Glad to know my move adaptations are well recieved and you like my characterization :) Sorry for the delay between parts,b ut that should shorten up now.


    Gold wished he hadn’t come.

    As Skarmory circled Mahogany, looking for a clear spot to land, Gold lay out across her back and shut his eyes, wondering why he was even bothering to come. After all this time had had spent training, all this time he had spent forcing himself to come here, and now he had decided to rethink his decision.

    As soon as Kris had wandered off into the Whirl Islands, Gold had healed his team and fled the area. He didn’t care where he went, he didn’t care wheter Skarmory could handle the journey, he didn’t care about his wrecked boat: Gold just wanted to be as far away from Kris as possible. Gold made Skarmory fly for hours as he pondered over the battle that had happened. Gold was at a loss at what had happened back there: the battle had been going well in his favour, with Kris’ Pokemon falling around him and most of his team remaining strong.

    But than came all the emotions.

    After many nights spent wondering about it, Gold was still not sure why Kris had gotten so enraged at him. All he could remember was Ruby’s death being mentioned and the fact her father had died, the rest after that point was a blur. Gold had been too focused on the fact he had lost yet again to Kris, on the fact his confidence was now shattered and his fighting instinct was nearly gone.

    What was it about Kris that was making him so worked up? No matter how hard Gold tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. It wasn’t in a romantic way where he was dying to see her: Gold was so desperate to beat her, but he had no idea why she kept winning. He may have won those two times, but Gold couldn’t put his finger on what was giving her the advantage. He had more money, he trained his Pokemon most hours of the day, he was far superior in most ways… so why was Kris better than him?

    Gold eventually let Skarmory touch down on Mt Mortar, a reasonably sized mountain to the west of Mahogany Town. There, he had buckled down for three weeks and begun training almost 24/7. He needed to get all of his Pokemon to evolve, as he didn’t want anyone to fall to Kris’ new Meganium. Gold tried many new styles, set up obstacle courses, tracked down every single trainer residing inside the rocky caves, whatever it took to level up his Pokemon. The reason was simple: Gold had heard Kris’ proclamation to a battle in Mahogany Town in one month, and Gold decided that he would be there no matter what. He needed to be able to defeat Kris, he needed to be able to prove he was still the better trainer than her, and he needed to get his revenge for her outburst and that last battle. That previous loss, the one Gold was so sure he could have won, had really hit him hard, and he wanted to get his revenge for the embarrassment.

    “Skarmory Skar Skar!”

    Gold snapped out of his moody chain of thoughts and twisted his body, seeing what Skarmory was going on about. The metallic bird was beginning to descend, having found a clear spot of land to touch down upon. Gold wrapped his arms around her jagged neck in order to retain himself as Skarmory hurtled towards the ground, violet energy wrapped around them. All thoughts of Kris and beating her were blown out of Gold’s mind as Skarmory’s claws slammed into the dusty road, the violet energy being released as a blast to stabilize the landing.

    “Good job.” Gold said as he climbed off, landing steadily as he slid off her back. Skarmory nodded and began pecking at the ground, some food scraps lying nearby. Gold peered around as she ate, taking in the sights and scenery the enclosed village provided. Gold had only passed through the town on his way to other places with his family, and hadn’t thought very much of the town then. His views hadn’t changed: it was still old, still dirty and still very cramped, even compared to New Bark.

    “Why did she want to battle here of all places?” Gold hissed as he looked down and saw his shoes were already dusty.

    “I figured it was going to be most convenient.” A feminine voice snapped from. Gold knew there was no denying who it was, and he forced himself to slowly turn around, a mixture of anger, annoyance, guilt and determination rose up inside him. He was ready to face Kris, and didn’t want their battle to end like their last.

    “Hello, pleasure to see you.” Gold said with a fake smile as he finally faced Kris, who raised a smug eyebrow as he uttered his greeting. Most of her Pokemon were gathered around her, and Gold began a mental calculation about who he should send out. Skarmory folded her wings and shot nasty looks at all of Kris’ Pokemon, who glared back.

    “Cut the sarcasm Gold, I don’t have any time for it!” Kris said determinedly, doing her best to try and hold back her emotions. She knew Gold would tear into her if she showed any sign of weakness before a battle, and she was struggling to stop herself from bursting into tears as their last battle floated around inside her head. But Gold smiled in a triumphant fashion as he stared into her eyes: tears were forming up against Kris’ will, and she looked practically terrified to be there. Kris’ Pokemon were all watching her nervously as well, and Gold simply beamed. If Kris was nervous about being here, it should be easy for him to crush her and get another win.

    “I’m sorry, please forgive me.” Gold apologised with a mock bow, and Skarmory sniggered in her squawky manner. Kris and her Pokemon collectively glared, and Gold came up from the bow beaming brightly. “So, where are we going to battle? That is, if your ready to battle?” Gold added with a smirk.

    “Of course I’m ready to battle!” Kris snapped back quickly. Her Pokemon all nodded in agreement, and Kris smiled broadly at them. She still had the Ultra Ball clutched tightly in her hand, letting the soulful power radiate through her body. However, she didn’t want Gold to notice her secret weapon just yet, and she carefully slid it back into her pocket. For now, Kris was just going to have to rely on her other Pokemon, praying that her three weeks of training would be enough to conquer Gold once again.

    “Good to hear.” Gold said with another mischievous smile. “So, where are we going to battle? Are there any routes around here?” Kris noticed Gold glancing around at the dusty road there were standing on and the mismatched, tiny cottages on either side of them. He was clearly disgusted by the town, and didn’t really want to be here.

    “The ground is much harder here, so our attacks shouldn’t cause hug craters.” Kris said, repeating the first thought that entered her head. Meganium sniggered as Gold frowned, but the male trainer sighed and nodded, accepting he couldn’t win this one.
    “Well, let’s get started then!” Gold said and pulled an Ultra Ball out of his pocket. Skarmory was tired from her flight, and Gold was opting not to use her.

    “Let’s…” Kris mumbled, feeling her anxious emotions rising up again. A light breeze whistled through the street as Kris and Gold stood there awkwardly, not quite sure what to do next. They had both been training so long and been trying to get over their last battle that it felt strange to be back in this position again, having to fight it out once more.

    “Dra Dra!” Seadra’s call suddenly broke the tension and silence. She hoped forwards, using her curved tail like a spring, and moved up in front of Kris.

    “You want to battle first?” Kris asked in shock.

    “Seadra Sea!” Seadra replied happily, before turning and giving Gold a nasty look. Gold wasn’t too worried after Horsea’s easy defeat last battle, though Seadra did look bigger, tougher and angrier, losing all of Horsea’s young cuteness.

    “Very well.” Gold said, bouncing his Ultra Ball in his hand. “I guess it’s time for the battle to begin!” He was ready for this, and was desperate to put his hard training into action and defeat Kris once again.

    “It seems so.” Kris replied, adjusting herself so she was poised in a battle position. She couldn’t back down from the battle now: her Pokemon were ready for it, so it was time that she got into things as well and just hoped for the best. The Pokemon all moved to the sides in order to watch, Skarmory moving further away from Kris’ spares. Once everything was clear, Gold raised his arm and threw his first Ultra Ball into the sky, Kris and Seadra leaning in to see what it was.

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

  7. #187
    Rocking the Lucario Thundagere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    coughlarvitarcough.
    Or maybe Pupitar.
    I'm really interested. This chapter was nice in the sense we saw things from Gold's POV. Of course, that only makes me like him more. Seriously, he's really motivated! Of course, their was shade of another side to him, but I could see where it stemmed from.
    One error I saw:
    “The ground is much harder here, so our attacks shouldn’t cause hug craters.”
    Should be huge.
    So, as usual you've done a fantastic job. I didn't anticipate this twist, but it was a great move on your part, and I can't wait to see what the next pokemon is!
    Oh, and by the way, are you going to make Gold more of an antagonistic opponent, or a kinder one?

    Made by Blue Dragon!

  8. #188
    Moderator AceTrainer14's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    Gold is still the antagonist: I don't bow down to pressure from readers :P And, as I keep repeating, keep your views under wraps whilst the next two stories unfold ;)
    But the battle will finally begin next part, and I hope you all enjoy :D

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

  9. #189
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    Good chapters, but I did find it a little odd that Kris cared so much about the battle. Well, not so much odd as much as un-understandable, or maybe it's just me...

  10. #190
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    Quote Originally Posted by MusicNFics View Post
    Ah...my first review.Hope my sleepiness won't hinder this! I literally read only half of the story, more or less. So let's begin!(stretches hands)]
    Grammar: 13.75/20 more or less. Growls aside,you managed to get OK marks. Your downfall is errors like Your and ti.
    Emotion and Characterization: 15.5/20. Gold's personality is well... a bit common,yet not so common, he is, from my point of view, egoistic, a bit of a show-off . Kris's personality is quite likable, emotional, keeps her spirit up, and she knows Gold is her only obstacle. Hanoko, bring her back! Fits the role of Cranky Old Lady!We need her to break the seriousness! When Kris breaks down, you make it very, very emotional. When Gold made a reference to *insert gem here* and Kris bombarded him with guilt,Gold probably at the first sentence after that, seemed sad for her, next probably, melodrama.
    Storyline: 14.5/20: Interesting. Lots of background here. Though the battles weren't exactly interesting, they were OK. A bit cracky, which is good.
    Though I feel like I'm missing something, the Overall is
    *drum roll*
    81/100 maybe? a bit more like 7.9/10. This is a fresh Tomato to make it simple. A very fresh potato! *blinks*I-I-I mean Tomato!
    Wow, you're actually giving fractional points. Something even I don't do...

    I'll be reviewing from the next 10 scenes or so.

    Plot: 8/20

    Yeah, it still feels like the plot is just... there.

    Characterization: 15/20

    Now that I read it over again, Kris and Gold seem pretty simple characters, like the protagonists of the games. Whether this is really that much of a good thing or not

    That being said, the best thing about Kris and Gold is pretty much their dynamic. Individually, they're not quite as... flowery. You touch on all the points of Kris' past, but it doesn't seem to have enough time to really sink in.

    Grammar, style, and flow: 5/10

    You know how a cheap plastic toy doesn't operate quite the same way a real metal toy of the same type does? How there's no real give in the plastic toy? The story's flow felt a little like that. It moved forward, but didn't have much give in it. It didn't feel like things were clicking together, but they were moving.

    I think part of it is that you're not giving the events enough time to sink in, like I said above about Kris' past. The story moves quickly enough that it doesn't slow down and smell the roses. And the roses' smell is what turns a good story into a great one. It's kind of like how a paintbrush, if moved too quickly, will leave some gaps.

    You also seem to be missing random words in the middle of sentences.

    Overall rating: 63/100

    Aw, shoot.

    I don't know. You have such good concepts... like the Pokémon actually using attacks during the Circle Push event of the Pokéthlon... but you seem to have a little trouble putting them onto paper. Just a little. With a little work, this story could really be exceptional.

    Most of that work would come in the form of slowing things down. Some of your scenes contain enough plot to count as their own chapters, but those plot elements don't feel fleshed out.
    Last edited by Zekurom; 24th March 2011 at 07:17 AM. Reason: Am I developing dyslexia or something? >_>
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  11. #191
    Moderator AceTrainer14's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    KvG fans are in luck: when my computer gots it virus, I was able to copy and paste the story to Hotmail before it completely crashed :D So I have been slowly working on the story, and Im happy to bring you a brand new part! :D So I hope you all enjoy


    Yellow light shone as the ball burst open, sending energy crashing down to the ground. It began to merge to form a fairly small figure, and Kris was surprised that Gold was using a short Pokemon this fair into his journey.

    “I’d like you to meet my brand new Pokemon,” Gold boomed as the light began to die away. “LARVITAR!” Kris gasped as the energy fully formed, revealing a moss green Pokemon with a red, diamond shaped belly, finished off with a spine on top of his head and an oddly shaped tail at the back.

    “Larvi Larv!” Larvitar said, balling up his tiny fists and glaring at Seadra. The watery dragon glared down at Larvitar, and then unrolled her tail in order to add extra height so she glared down upon him. Kris knew Larvitar would grow up to be an extremely powerful Tyranitar, but she noticed one fatal flaw Gold had made.

    “You do realise Larvitar is Rock and Ground, right?” She said with a smirk. “That means Larvitar is four times weak to Water moves?” Gold’s face dropped as he suddenly realised this. He let out an agitated grunt but tried to keep his cool, not wanting Kris to be satisfied by his mistake. Seadra smirked as well, and Larvitar glanced nervously back at Gold.

    “We don’t need to worry: use Dragon Dance!” Gold said quickly, trying to cover up his fatal error. Kris smiled widely, and decided on Seadra’s first move.

    “Let’s go with a Dive!” Kris ordered, and Seadra quickly reacted: her entire body glowed a brilliant white, and Gold watched in shock as the Pokemon dissolved into the ground, leaving behind only a small puddle of water.

    “Tar Larv!” Larvitar called, ignoring as his opponent disappeared, and he spun around on the spot. His red belly was glowing a rich purple colour now, and suddenly bolts of the same colour emerged, wrapping around him like a number of shawls.

    “Raising your speed and attack, eh?” Kris asked curiously. “Do you even have a Physical move that can be used against Larvitar?” Gold looked enraged again as he realised this: there were only three other moves that Larvitar could use, and he didn’t think they would be very effective against Seadra.

    “I have a plan…” Gold replied grouchily, quickly trying to think of something to back up his statement. “Use another Dragon Dance!” Skarmory shook her head, knowing that Gold wasn’t exactly making a smart move. The male trainer hoped that this would pull off, and was glad to see that Larvitar was already twirling again, flexing his tiny muscles as his attack built up.

    “You may be faster than Seadra now, but I don’t think you are going to be able to survive that many attacks!” Kris called out, and stared at the ground beneath Larvitar. A pool of water was beginning to form, rising up through the surface as Larvitar completed his Dragon Dance. The Rock-Ground type was now watching in fear as several bubbles popped, singling that Seadra was about to burst through.

    Sure enough, only seconds passed before some of the water rose up and smashed into Larvitar, sending him spiralling away into the sky. The water quickly solidified and flashed blue, and Seadra had reformed once more. Gold watched in horror as Larvitar continued to spin, wailing and shouting, unable to control himself due to the sheer force of the attack.

    “Great job Seadra, that was excellent!” Kris shouted gleefully, and watched with Gold as Larvitar began to descend, spiralling back towards the ground. Gold couldn’t lose his newest P;okemon this early in the battle, as Kris would never take Larvitar or his evolutions seriously. He had to find a way to defeat Seadra.... he had to find a way to slow down its attacks...

    “That’s it!” Gold shouted suddenly, and Seadra swivelled around looking shocked. “Hit the ground with your strongest possible Earthquake!” Kris gasped: Dragon Dance had raised Larvitar’s attack, so the Earthquake would have bonus power than it would have usually possessed.

    “Get out of there with another Dive!” Kris ordered, hoping Seadra would escape in time. However, Larvitar’s speed boost was being transitioned into him falling: white energy was flowing out from him as he fell, sending flying faster towards the ground.

    “LAAAAAAAAARVIIIIIIIII” Larvitar shouted, raising his arms up as
    he got closer and closer to the ground, and Seadra tried her best to melt into the ground. “TAAAAAAAAAR!” He roared as he hit the ground, releasing a blast of brown energy that managed to blast Gold and Kris off their feet, sending the two trainers rolling backwards along the road.

    “Seadraaaa!” Seadra shouted as she too was blasted backwards, the shockwave too strong for her watery defences to protect her. Kris’ other Pokémon all cried out as well as they toppled over, Meganium falling sideways and nearly crushing poor Espeon, and instead landing on the now cracking ground. Larvitar simply sat there, breathing deeply, in the middle of a large crater: it appeared the Earthquake had done a bit of damage to the road as well as everyone else.

    “Skar Skar Skar!” Skarmory laughed, having taken off as Larvitar descended. She flew above them all chortling in her squawky voice, and Kris shot her the evils as she stood painfully up, brushing dust off her jacket and trying to ignore the sharp pains the rocks on the road had left in her body.

    “Bloody hell!” She cried as Gold also got up, beaming widely despite a cut on his cheek from a jagged rock. “I have to admit it Hartley: that was one pretty powerful attack!” She stared at the huge cracks now centred around Larvitar, who was still breathing deeply from the powerful attack. Seadra had landed quite a while away, and was struggling to hop back the distance towards the trainers.

    “I needed a powerful attack like this, and I’m very glad it work!” Gold cheered. “I couldn’t have Seadra diving away from my attacks, so I’ve destroyed the surface of it to make it harder for her to move away!” Kris was annoyed that she had just lost use of a move, but she couldn’t help but agree it was a fairly good strategy. She saw Larvitar get up as Seadra hopped back over, looking a bit sore already from that one attack. Larvitar looked happily up at Gold, knowing that his first move against Kris had been a good one. However, Gold was no longer smiling, instead glaring at Seadra, annoyed that it had survived his attack. Kris felt a pang of sorrow in her heart as Larvitar looked sadly down at the cracked ground.

    “Poor thing...” Kris whispered, wanting to rush over and hug the poor little Pokémon. But she had to focus on Seadra: she couldn’t feel bad for Gold’s Pokémon now. “Alright Seadra, we’re going to have to use some other moves now, alright?”

    “Dra Seadra Seadra.” Seadra nodded, and stared confidently towards Larvitar, who glared back at her, putting dejection aside and ready to fight strongly for Gold.

    “BubbleBeam!” Kris shouted.

    “Shake it up again with Earthquake!” Gold shouted. Larvitar leapt suddenly into the air, nearly whacking into Skarmory as she came around to land. Kris and Seadra had barely noticed he was gone before Larvitar came soaring back towards the ground, hitting the same spot with another loud thud. The energy was less severe this time, though Kris and Gold had to position themselves so they didn’t fall into a heap.

    “Meganium Mega!” Meganium huffed as she swayed once again, sending Espeon and Magcargo fleeing out of the way. Smashing sounds suddenly filled the air, and Kris turned around as numerous windows around them cracked and shattered, the two strong Earthquakes too much for the old buildings to handle. As more ground cracked beneath their feet, Seadra tensed her body up to remain upright, breathed deeply and then fired: a barrage of blue bubbles, varying in size, were fired quickly towards Larvitar. The seismic energy stopped as Larvitar was hit in his red belly, enough force for him to roll backwards towards Gold’s feet. Gold cursed a took an angry step backwards from Larvitar, having managed to remain stable during the Earthquake as well.

    "Get back up and use Dark Pulse!" The trainer barked. Larvitar nodded, but was struggling to get back on his feet, the effects of two Water attacks taking their effect. Kris felt another pang of sympathy, but she used this time to quickly examine the area before giving Seadra her next orders. Miltank was shuffling Kris' other Pokemon away from some of the shattered glass for a nearby building, and Skarmory had taken off in flight again after being hit by some shards. Kris waxs worried for the elderly residents and how they would fix their windows, but she was more concerned by the ground: her thought that the ground would be hard and strong enough had proved false. There were numerous cracks in the surface, and the crater from the original attack had sunk several feet below normal level.

    "Wow, this ain't good..." Kris mumbled,too shocked to put her emotions into words.

    "Dra Sea!" Kris snapped out of her chain of thoughts and turned around: Seadra was staring at her anxiously as Larvitar began to stand up, looking a bit tired but was ready to fight. He put his hands around her diamond stomach, which had turned from red to a deep black. Energy began to rise up and form around it, and Kris and Seadra were both very nervous.

    "Counter that pulse with your Dragon Pulse!" Kris shouted nervously. Seadra nodded and planted herself firmly on the ground, and sat there as purple-blue energy began to form at the tip of her long mouth, turning into a gradually growing ball of draconic power. Larvitar smiled and winked at Kris and Seadra, and the female trainer had seen enough of Gold's Pokemon do similar things before moves to know it wasn't good.

    "LAAAAAAARV!" He shouted and pushed out with his hands, and a sudden beam of Dark energy was fired towards Seadra. The energy was enough to cause the unstable ground to quiver slightly, sending dust clouds into the sky. Seadra's Dragon Pulse wasn't at it's full potential, but she had to do something to counter the attack and save hersel.

    "SEEEAAAADRAAAA!" She yelled, and wave of white energy was released from her mouth, creating a purple beam that fired the Dragon Pulse towards Larvitar. Kris tensed up as the two attacks hurtled towards each other: she and Gold had been in this situation plenty of times, and she knew only one Pokemon would survive from it. Everyone watched tensly as the black beam and the purple ball of energy collided together. For a few seconds, the two attacks remained there, Seadra and Larvitar pushing them further towards each other, trying to outdo the other. However, the Dark Pulse had been fired first, and it had made more headway and gathered more power. Kris gasped as the black beam obliterated the Dragon Pulse, the beam becoming engulfed in the lingering energy and shot towards Seadra at full power.

    "DRAAAA!" Seadra shouted and shut her eyes, the blinding light from the attack unbearable as it came towards her. Kris could only watch in shock and terror as the Dragon-Dark Pulse smashed into Seadra's scaly stomach, a strong burst of dark purple light and energy exploding over them. The double attack was so strong that Seadra was sent spiralling backwards, causing Kris to jump aside to avoid being struck painfully. Gold laughed in glee as Kris smashed to the ground, letting out a groan as she grazed her arm. She looked up to see the light had faded away, leaving a large semi-circular crater in the ground from where the attacks had collided, and showed Gold punching the air in celebration.

    "Nium Mega Mega?" Meganium had rushed over, along with Kris' other Pokemon, each of them looking very concerned.

    "I'm fine, just a small wound..." Kris mumbled and stood up, ignoring the blood dripping from her right arm. She turned around, her eyes widening as she did so, following the path of the crater. It ended about three metres away, with Seadra lying unconcious at the very end of it, surrounding by damaged earth and covered in dust.

    "Well then...." Kris said breathlessly, unable to take in what had just happened. "I guess we shouldn't be so quick to judge then...." She turned back around to face Gold, who was still whooping and celebrating, and saw Larvitar sitting down in his crater, smiling slightly at the force of his attack. Meganium's jaw had dropped in shock, and Kris couldn't help but agree with her: If type advantage wasn't going to defeat Gold, she was going to have to shake things up.

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

  12. #192
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    “Do you even have a Physical move that can be used against Seadra?”
    Kris was worried for the elderly residents and how they would fix their windows
    Some mistakes, though I'm not sure about the first one...

    But anyway, regarding the chapter.

    I found it quite different from the usual battles in that it didn't have as much emphasis on Kris and her feelings as much as they did before. You usually portray them heavily towards the end, but they were still present at the start of the battles, and that combined with the tension you've been building up caused the chapter to seem a little dislodged to me.

    But regarding the battle. I really like how you went all out at the start as opposed to the usual calm first battles. Since they usually evolve up to become grand and a major showdown, this really sets the standards up; looking forward to seeing the final battle!

    Overall, good chapter. Keep it up.

  13. #193
    Banana eating Gengar GengarEatBanana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    Epic battle so far, really, an excellant job.
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  14. #194
    Rocking the Lucario Thundagere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    *Stops gripping chair in anticipation*
    Now I definitely hold a slight grudge against Gold, because of his not congratulating Larvitar.
    His battling skills are improving, but... I really enjoyed this battle! Few grammar errors, and it was heated, a perfect battle. Kris certainly has more empathy! A double dragon dance...not to be regarded lightly.
    I wonder what will happen next? What Pokemon can Kris use....I'm guessing Lati@s since she said type advantages wouldn't work.
    Overall, great job as usual!

    Made by Blue Dragon!

  15. #195
    Get the cool shoeshine! Glitchitar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Kris vs Gold: A Tale of War

    Quote Originally Posted by Thundagere View Post
    *Stops gripping chair in anticipation*
    Now I definitely hold a slight grudge against Gold, because of his not congratulating Larvitar.
    What Pokemon can Kris use....I'm guessing Lati@s since she said type advantages wouldn't work.
    Overall, great job as usual!
    Exactly.

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