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  1. #16
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League---------Current: Chapter 8, Please Comment

    Chapter 9 Lost in Viridian Forest

    Red left Viridian city hours ago but it didn’t seem that he wasn’t getting anywhere in this large forest. Red was often scared when he heard Pokemon noises nearby. After a couple of hours Red officially declared himself lost.

    “Squirtle we will never get out of here” trembled Red. They slowly walked together step after step. Red heard a loud noise this time and he was terrified. Red slowly walked up towards the noise but realized that the noise was from rocks falling from a hill.

    Red continued the journey through the empty forest searching for a way out but there was no luck. The forest was a damp area with trees everywhere and no bear light to see. The place was dark and cold and Red hated it. He would never return to this oversized forest.

    As Red kept walking he ran into an Abra wanting to fight. The Abra used a move that Red had not ever seen and Red jumped in a bush before getting hit.

    “Squirtle it looks like this Abra wants to fight and after we beat him we are going to capture him. Squirtle used Water Gun and the water dripped down Abra like a waterfall. The Abra was extremely cold but it still wanted a fight.

    “If that’s what he wants then that’s what he’s going to get.” shouted Red eager to capture the yellow creature Abra. “Squirtle get ready because we are going to show him what we got!”

    The Viridian forest Abra seemed as if he were studying all of our moves. The two foot Abra stood up walked behind the tree and fell asleep.

    “Hhhhuuuu” questioned Red. “Squirtle Squitle” said Squirtle as confused as Red.

    Abra had fallen asleep on Reds battle making Red angry. The Abra thought that Red had no chance in defeating him so he just quit.

    “Abra you better get up and stop being a coward and come fight me.” Red was now very angry letting his anger drift into the lost Viridian Forest.

    Abra had no symphony for Red so he just stood there waiting for Red to make the first move.

    “Squirtle use Bite on Abra.” demanded Red. Squirtle’s large mouth quickly bit into the Abra’s soft yellow skin. Abra just stood there still as a statue. Then he fell hard onto the ground. Abra still had his eyes open wider than before and stood up slowly.

    Red had no clue what was going on but continued the battle. Red knew this was his chance to capture an Abra. Red threw the pokeball onto Abra watching the pokeball shake. When the light flashed Red jumped in the air excited for his new teammate.

    “Ya! I just caught a Viridian Forest Abra.” The fun had not lasted long when he saw a person running in the Forest. “Who is there” asked Red.

    There was no answer to Reds request and Red and Squirtle were frightened. They kept hearing loud footsteps that seemed to be approaching them.

    “We have to get out of here Squirtle; I don’t know what’s going on.” The noise got louder and Red could now see a shape. A man came from behind a tree. He was wearing a black jumpsuit and had short hair. He seemed to be in his mid twenties. There was one thing that Red couldn’t make out. The Red R on his jumpsuit.

    “Who are you?” demanded Red backing away slowly avoiding the mysterious man.

    “Im from Team Rocket an evil organization of the Kanto Region.” replied the man.

    “Why are you here and what do you want.” questioned Red still moving away.

    “Shush Child I have already said too much of Team Rocket. Im sure you will be hearing about us very soon. I must go now child.”

    “Oh no im not letting you get away.” said Red chasing after the crook.

    The moving battle began.

  2. #17
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 9 is now up) Please Comment

    Sorry for delays. Expect a Chapter later today or early tommaro. Oh and one more thing. If you still read as new chapters just post here please.

  3. #18
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 10 is now up) Please Comment

    Chapter 10 Viridian Forest's The Moving Battle

    Red felt bravery beneath his skin. He felt as if he were the only one to stop the mysterious person who continually moved. Red knew this was what he was supposed to do. Now it was Reds turn to stop the Team Rocket Grunt and save the forest or whatever Team Rocket was planning to do.

    They both ran after each other at the same pace. The Team Rocket grunt was running away from Red while Red was chasing the silent crook.

    “Your not going anywhere with me on your tail” shouted Red enough for the grunt to hear.

    “Well then lets see about that” laughed the man still running but faster. “Seviper come out.” The man released a Seviper that was fervent to fight. The Seviper croaked out a deafening noise and released smoke into the forest.

    Red and Squirtle did not stop running they ran faster. They quickly found an end to the smoke and continued after the man. Sweat ran down Reds face and his face never left the man.

    Finally the man stopped and stared at Red. The man expected Red to use a Pokemon move from his Squirtle.

    Squirtle began to yelp as if he was talking to the man for Red who just stood there listening to Squirtle.

    “All right Squirtle use our new and improved move on Seviper… bite.” Squirtle moved fast enough so Seviper wouldn’t be able to move. Seviper shrieked a loud noise that made both the grunt and Red fall to the ground. Many bird Pokemon flew from the forest revealing little bits of light. Red thought that the move could have been screech. Squirtle’s teeth were still sunk into the Seviper’s flesh skin making the Seviper almost paralyzed.

    Squirtle’s move didn’t last any longer because Seviper found the strength to knock Squirtle with his tail. Squirtle fell to the floor hard leaving a giant hole in the ground. He was now whimpering like a dog but was alright.

    The man and his Seviper were on the go again. Red picked up his badly hurt Squirtle and followed them so they wouldn’t get away with anything that they were going to do.

    “That little Brat won’t leave me alone. Fine then I guess Im going to hit him not his Pokemon.” angered the Grunt to himself.

    “Seviper use Crunch on him not the Pokemon.” Seviper looked at his owner with devious eyes and followed commands.

    Seviper let out another shriek and followed the conniving attack which seemed to be wrong in the Pokemon world.

    “Haaa” screeched Red falling to the ground with a couple of broken bones. Red could not move any longer. He was roughly hurt. He had broken bones in his left arm and his skin pealed right off. Squirtle was afraid he didn’t know what to do. They were all afraid; Red was afraid he let a Super Crook into Kanto and Squirtle was afraid that Red had broken many bones that can’t be helped through treatments.

    There was nothing they could do and it was all up to Squirtle to help Red because he couldn’t move because of the pain.




  4. #19
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League

    Alright, since I'm too lazy to review all your chapters, this one on chap. 2 will have to suffice.

    Quote Originally Posted by alster08 View Post
    In the previous chapter Red has set on his journey. There should be few grammer issues and if so please post. I really need some comments. Thankyou!
    You mean "grammar" and "thank you". Just a few spelling errors that are easily corrected.

    [/quote]Squirtle could hardly keep up stumbling after every step.[/quote]
    It's very sneaky, but there should be a comma between "keep up" and "stumbling". Because I don't think Squirtle's trying to keep up with the stumbling, he's stumbling while he's trying to keep up.

    “Hhhhhhhh” yawned Red losing his breath. “Well Squirtle I guess heading to Viridian City would have to wait for tomorrow because im worn-out from walking the trail.” Squirtle was relieved and was very sore from his long walk up the path.
    The "Hhhhhhhh"... I don't really get what that's supposed to mean. It doesn't look like what somebody would yawn out at any rate.

    As well, "im worn-out" should be "I'm worn out". "I'm" is a contraction, and "worn out" is two words.

    “Squirtle, I am going to set up our camp beds that way we get a good night sleep because pretty soon we are going to have a fierce battle against the gym leader of Viridian City. Soon enough Squirtle was fast asleep letting out his soft snores to the world.
    While it's nice that we're saying that, I think the fact that Red is only doing this for the badges and etc. is kind of unoriginal as well, just like Gastly's Mama.

    The soft snores were nice - Squirtle snores loudly?

    The day was ending and it began to get very frigid on the pathway. Squirtle was shivering excessively and Red was trying to block off the chilly air. That night was a disaster and Red was definitely not prepared for the climate to reach 50 degrease Fahrenheit.
    I don't think "very frigid" is that good a word to use. You can use "very cold" or just "frigid", but "very frigid" just looks uncomfortable.

    "Degrease". That's a good one. It should actually be "degrees". I'm assuming you typed in "degreas" and it auto-corrected? You shouldn't rely on AutoCorrect too much.

    I don't think the "climate" is what reaches 50°F. You mean the temperature, right? And because it's going down, you wouldn't say "reach", which is normally reserved for going up instead of down.

    Red did not have a good night sleep and was practically sleep walking. Squirtle seemed to have no harm done and was ready for the long day. Squirtle had in idea and sprayed his cold water onto Red nearly making him jump out of his socks
    You forgot to put a period at the end of this sentence. As well, Squirtle had "an idea", not "in idea". Thirdly, it's a "good night's sleep", not a "good night sleep".

    “Thanks Squirtle, now im wide awake.” Red began walking slowly and gradually had gotten faster as they progressed down the foggy road which led to Viridian City.
    You mean he "got faster". You don't normally use the pluperfect tense (had gotten) unless you're talking about an event that has already happened much before in the past.

    While Red and Squirtle were traveling down the path a wild Diglett appeared suddenly on the trail. The Diglett was very upset and Red new they had entered its territory. After seconds more Digletts had kept popping up forcing Red to move in the opposite direction.
    Normally, there'd be a comma between "path" and "a" where you have it.

    "After seconds"? "Seconds" is a countable noun, so you should put "a few" or "mere" before this word.

    “Squirtle quick use Bubble Beam and take them out!” The strong Bubble Beam hit directly not leaving a mark on the powerful Digletts.
    Two commas, one after "Squirtle", one after "quick".

    As well, when two clauses are contradictory and in the same sentence, you want to use "but". So for example, "The strong Bubble Beam hit directly, but didn't even leave a mark on the powerful Digletts."

    Which is surprising, really, considering Squirtle is a Water-type and Digletts are Ground.

    “Back off” yelled a loud noise from behind. A tall woman stood in front of Ash with a blue uniform and dark blue hair. Standing next to her was a small vine type Pokemon, Tangela.
    Wait, when did Ash come into this again?

    “Hi" my name is Officer Jenny and Im here to help you.” screamed the officer. "Tangela use Vine Whip on all of them" demanded the officer. One by one the Digletts returned underground without even thinking.
    Wait, so Jenny is screaming out her introduction at Red? (I am laughing just thinking about it.) Why not just use "said"?

    As well, the close quote after "hi" should be a comma. I'm assuming that's a typo?

    There's a comma after Tangela, because Jenny is addressing it. And put an exclamation mark after "use Vine Whip on all of them".

    (The rest of the chapter, I don't think I'll make that many comments; just follow the stuff I've already told you in this post.)

    Um, so yeah, grammar seems to be a problem in these chapters.

    That and your confusing introduction of Ash. Why is Ash in this at all?
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  5. #20
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 9 is now up) Please Comment

    I love Kanto so any fic dealing with it is A-okay in my book! Some minor grammar and punctuation things, but they have been addressed by previous posts. Overall I like it, keep it up!

    Decades have passed, and Kanto is a much different place. Follow Lucas Green as he and his friends search for answers and look to fulfill their destinies.

  6. #21
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 9 is now up) Please Comment

    Thanks for the help and the comments.

  7. #22
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 9 is now up) Please Comment

    In the previous Chapter Red was wounded by a team Rocket Crook. Chapter 12 will probably seam dull but is needed to prepare for Team Rockets Apperence.

    Chapter 11 Squirtle’s Rescue Mission


    Squirtle stood in the same area as the wounded Red in agony. Squirtle kept his gleaming eyes on Red at all times to see if he would wake up from the unexpected coma. After a short amount of time he gave up and knew he was to search for help.

    Squirtle retraced there steps that were left in wet mud as the chased the Rocket Grunt. Squirtle was headed to Viridian city for help that was needed. Squirtle had no other choice than to keep on moving because there was no time.

    Squirtle tried to avoid trouble from other Pokemon in the widespread forest. Every once and a while other Pokemon would stare as if Squirtle wasn’t a Pokemon like them.

    The sun was setting down slowly and Squirtle had no time to waste. Shortly after the sunset Squirtle had once again arrived at Viridian City.

    Squirtle screeched out loud noises, hoping that others would hear his call in distress. Squirtle kept on traveling the crowded streets. It seemed like a party because everyone was on the roads talking and walking. Squirtle lost in the town spotted Khoury and Lyra and ran to them.

    “Lyra isn’t that Red’s Squirtle?” questioned Khoury. Squirtle walked up to Lyra and Khoury and began to explain the situation. Not one word had Lyra and Khoury understood. They knew they were supposed to follow Squirtle because Red could be in great danger.

    Lyra and Khoury followed Squirtle through the silent forest in search for the injured Red. Khoury followed Squirtle and Lyra followed Khoury each wanting to find out where Red was.

    “Squirtle, how much longer till we find Red?” said Khoury to Squirtle impatiently.

    Squirtle, Khoury, and Lyra arrived at the spot were Red had been hurt. Lyra, Khoury and Squirtle gasped at the seen; Red was gone.

    They looked into the dirt to see that his body had left a mark in the ground meaning that this was the right spot.

    Khoury took charge and told everyone to split up and look for the missing Red.

    Khoury then threw out a Pokeball to release Pidgeot. Pidgeot was ordered to search for Red in the murky sky.

    Pidgeot soared through the sky looking down into the dark forest. Pidgeot had trouble seeing through the trees and began to drop deep.

    Pidgeot spotted a figure on laying on the dirty ground. Once Pidgeot had known it was Red he zoomed through the forest in search for the others.

    “Pidgeot, did you find Red!” shouted the gang. Pidgeot nodded his bird shaped head and led the way through the forest.

    Running quickly the three heroes’s found Red lying on the ground asleep from pain.

    “We have to get him to a hospital quickly before it is too late!” exclaimed Lyra. “The nearest one is in Pewter City.” said Khoury.

    Khoury helped Red up and let him lay on his shoulder. Red needed to get to a hospital quickly. They rushed through the forest turning at every available spot till they found light. The luminous light shined brightly providing light in the forest.

    The light came from Pewter City. Khoury and the crew rushed to the hospital quickly without even thinking.

    “Nurse! We have an emergency. A young boy was found in Viridian forest with broken bones.” screamed Khoury.

    “Oh!” yelled the nurse and rushed pour Red to the emergency room for inspection.

    Khoury, Lyra and Squirtle took a seat on the bench waiting for results.

    A young pink haired nurse with a Blissey approached Lyra and told the results.

    “Red is going to be fine and is in good condition. He has two broken bones in his left arm and has a sprained ankle. He will be able to leave the hospital and begin to walk in approximately three days. If not sooner. These were minor damages and aren’t serious. If you guys had not brought him sooner they could have became major damages.”

    “Good job Squirtle you basically saved Red from major damages to his arm. It was smart that you went back to Viridian City to find help. There is one thing I don’t understand. Who moved Red from the spot he was injured?” said Lyra worried but excited that Red was going to be ok.

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
    How did you like it. Please comment.
    Next Time: Chapter 12 Three Days at the Hospital
    ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  8. #23
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 12 is now up) Please Comment

    This is probably the longest Chapter but most important. This Chapter will be seperated into Three Days. Thanks to all who commented so far. I really need some mre constructive critisisum. Please help by telling what you think. Well here it is! Chapter 12.


    Chapter 12 Three Days in the Hospital

    Day One Awoken at Last


    “I think he is opening his eyes.” said Lyra trying to be as quiet as possible.

    Red yawned and asked where he was. “Where am I and what are you doing here and…” said Red being cut off by another speaker.

    “Hold on right there I will explain the whole story.” said Khoury. “It all started when Lyra and I were at Viridian City. It was dusk and there was a big festival so we decided to go. We were talking and then your Squirtle appeared in front of us. He was alone so we assumed that you were in trouble. We could also tell be the look on his face. We had no choice but to follow Squirtle through the forest to find you. When we found the spot where you were injured; you were nowhere to be found. We knew it was the right place because your body left marks in the mud. I sent out Pidgeot to search for you through the forest and he found you with in a couple of minutes. We rushed you to the Pewter Hospital which is where we are in now. We also contacted your mom and the professors to explain what happened and to let them know you are ok. I still don’t know what happened and how were you injured.” said Khoury not leaving out one detail.

    “I was injured buy an old man in a black jumpsuit. He says he’s from an evil incorporation known as Team Rocket. He said we were going to be hearing from them soon. He then ran away and I couldn’t let him get away so I followed him through the forest. We stopped to battle and we could tell that he was angry. He had a Seviper and we almost knocked it out until he ordered it to use bite on my arm. I fell to the ground at that point and I guess he ran away.” said Red to his friends that saved him.

    “So basically you were attacked by an evil man and he broke your bones.” said Lyra summarizing the situation.

    “We need to find out who is this so called Team Rocket and put an end to them for ever.” declared Khoury.

    After a few minutes of silence Red had once again fallen asleep in the hospital bed. He wasn’t the only one Squirtle had too.

    Day 2 An Unnecessary Visit



    It was the next day at Pewter City. Red was awoken by the shining light and the birds chipping. Pewter City was an amazing and most beautiful place. Red was not allowed to leave the small hospital room. He was only aloud to rest his sore body on the bed and talk to visitors.

    He didn’t have many visitors. It was usually only the doctor, nurse, Khoury, or Lyra. Squirtle was allowed to stay in the big building with Red.

    “Knock knock” called a voice from outside the hospital room’s door.

    “Come in” answered Red to the mysterious person outside the room’s door. When Red saw who had came to visit he was flabbergasted and speechless. “What are you doing here…? Blue!”

    “Hey no need to yell, im only here to visit. Professor Oak told me about what happened to you so I came here to humiliate you.” giggled Blue almost laughing. “You are not welcome Blue, so just leave before I make you leave.”

    Blue was Red’s worst fear. Blue was a tough rival that Red had never beaten him in a battle. Blue never stopped teasing Red about being a terrible Pokemon Trainer. Nobody believed Red when he told people that Blue was a big fat meany.

    “So what exactly are you here for?” asked Red.

    “My grandfather, Professor Oak wanted me to give you this book on each city on Kanto. He says it will help you know where Gyms are located.” said Blue handing the Kanto map book to Red.”

    “Tell him I said thanks.” replied Red snatching the book from the clutches of Blue.

    “So have you gotten any badges yet?” mumbled Blue out of curiosity.

    “No not yet because the Gym at Viridian City was closed for some odd reason.” said Red.

    For once Blue wasn’t annoying Red and they both felt good on the inside that they weren’t trying to kill each other.

    “Well ill catch you later. I got some Gym Leaders to dominate.” snapped Blue leaving in a hurry.

    Day Three The Explosion



    Today was Red’s scheduled last day at Pewter hospital and then he was free to roam the large town and battle the Gym Leader. Khoury and Lyra had once again came to visit Red in the hospital room. They talked about hilarious stuff that has happened to them in there life time.

    All of a sudden the crew heard screaming from outside the hospital. The shrieks caught there attention.

    “What is going on” cried Lyra. Khoury quickly ran to the window to check out the mysterious screaming. Up in the air Khoury saw a big red blimp in the sky that hovered of Pewter City. Coming down from the blimp were men in black jumpsuits the said TR.

    “Um Red do you remember how that Team Rocket Grunt said that we will be hearing from him soon. Well I guess soon means now.” said Khoury trying to keep it cool. The Grunts were exiting the city through the gates and into the empty forest.

    Red got up quickly ignoring the doctors orders not to get up.

    “Red you have to stay in bed. You are not fully recovered.” said Lyra.

    “I am fine. I have to protect the city because this was basically my fault I let the crook go. I must fix what was my fault.”

    Red took his lucky silver backpack and exited the hospital leaving his friends behind. Squirtle came running behind him trying to keep up.

    “Come on Squirtle get a move on. There is no time to waste Viridian Forest is in great danger.” yelled Red to Squirtle.

    Officers followed the Grunts into the forest trying to stop them. The town’s people quickly tried to close the gates of Pewter City but it was no use. There wasn’t enough power.

    Red quickly ran out the gates into the open forest. He quickly noticed that they were not going into the forest. They were entering a nearby cave.

    “They are heading into Diglett Cave.” yelled one of the officers.

    Red could hear Khoury and Lyra trying to keep up but Red had no time to wait. Red quickly approached the Cave. The officers were running out with agony.

    “Its going to blow.” screamed the officers. The Team Rocket Grunts ran back into there blimp doing the explosion countdown.

    5…4… Red ran back from the Cave listening to the explosion countdown. 3… 2… Every one returned into the town before the ungrateful blow. BAMM! Diglett Cave was now dust.

    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
    Next Time Chapter 13 Recruiting Defeat
    What did you think? Comment.
    ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  9. #24
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 12 is now up) Please Comment

    This is a short Chapter. It really is not that important. It talks about Team Rocket. Red Khoury and Lyra visit the Museum of Science. Like I said its not really important. Again please COMMENT! Here is Chapter 13.

    Chapter 13 Recruiting Defeat

    Red stood there watching Diglett Cave explode before his eyes. The air filled with ash and dust. Pebbles fell from the dirty sky. Red could not watch history explode before his eyes. It happened with in a heartbeat.

    Digletts raced out of the cave that was now Diglett Ruins. The Team Rocket Blimp zoomed from the sky out of sight. They had not left one piece of evidence. They were still the Great Mystery of Kanto.

    After a couple hours the sky was clear and the roads filled again with shouting people.

    “We have to find out who is this Team Rocket.” announced Red to Khoury and Lyra. “The cant get away. They have destroyed history, but why?”

    “Red that is still unknown but we will fine that out later after we put together enough clues.” replied Khoury also curious of the dangerous villains.

    “Hey guys do want to get a bite to eat. If we ever see them again we will stop them.” suggested Lyra with a groaning appetite.

    “Sure that would be nice. After we could stop by the Museum of Science.” said Khoury.

    Red agreed and after a couple of minutes the big problem before now seemed gone with the dust.

    The team enjoyed there fancy meal. Squirtle and Marill had fun playing around in the streets. Red wasn’t upset from the problem as much. He was now mad at Team Rocket for disrupting the pour Digletts home.

    After dinner they followed there plans to go explore the Museum of Science. The Museum of Science looked like a mansion to Marill and Squirtle but a normal shop for Red, Khoury, and Lyra. The building was purple with a verity of different windows. The door was big and yellow. The shade of yellow was so luminous it hurt to look at the piece of wood.

    They entered the museum and were fascinated by the number of fossils and artifacts. The sculptures looked like a familiar Pokemon but Red could not make out the name.

    “Isn’t this amazing” said Lyra. Squirtle and Lyra’s little blue Marill were also amazed by the sculptures.

    “This is really interesting. It’s amazing how the Pokemon turn into fossils.” said Red.

    They continued to look through the museum for a couple more minutes and then called it a night. They went to stay at the near by Pokemon Center for rest. This was Reds most interesting day on the long journey.

    He had witnessed strange villains terrorizing Pewter City and went to a Pokemon Museum. He was happy that he had some friends already but also upset that there were villains on the loose.

    Tomorrow is going to be has interesting because Red is going to challenge Pewter City’s Gym Leader.

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
    What did you think?
    Next Time Chapter 13 Red's First Gym Leader: Brock!
    If you have and suggestions please post.
    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  10. #25
    You just got PK'd PK I'm BAAACK~'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 12 is now up) Please Comment

    You're definately improving, I'd just like to suggest longer chapters. More detail, and revise and editing. But it's still very interesting! (sorry for the long wait on the next comment, I've been busy lately.)
    *CURRENTLY* why do you wanna know wot im currtly doing? SLAKTER!

    Also, be sure to check out my new little one shot! Rated G and made for winter (called: "Winter with Friends")
    http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net/f227/

    You can also check out the sign-ups to my RPG... Please?
    http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net/f425/bmgf-secret-santa-90989/

  11. #26
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 12 is now up) Please Comment

    Thanks for commenting! As you can see it is rare that I get comments.

  12. #27
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 12 is now up) Please Comment

    Chapter 14 Red’s First Gym Battle: Brock


    Red was already pumped up for his first Gym Battle. He could not wait to see the strategies Gym Leaders play. Most of all he wanted to see the team bond between himself and his Pokemon.

    He almost forgot about the Abra that he had caught from Viridian Forest. He wasn’t going to use his new Pokemon Abra for this Gym Badge because he was new and they haven’t had bond yet. He was also afraid to use his stubborn Nidoran that gave him trouble the last epic battle with the fierce Khoury.

    Khoury and Lyra were going to watch Red take on the Gym Leader until Lyra had to go visit her mom because it was almost her thirtieth birthday. Her mom lives in Vermilion City which is where Red is going to head soon.

    Red and Squirtle walked side by side as a team. Red was curious on the Pewter City’s Gym Leader. “What type did he specialize in? What are his strategies? How is his personally?” All of these thoughts roamed through Red’s full mind.

    The Pokemon Gym was now in sight. Red had passed through the crowded part of town and entered the dead part of town where not many people were seen.

    “Squirtle we are almost there! I know we are going to win no matter what!” yelled Red determined toward victory.

    Red walked through the Gyms entrance to find a teenage man sitting down on the floor.

    “Welcome!” yelled the man across the room slowly getting up. “I assume that you are here to face me… Brock.”

    “My name is Red and yes I am here to battle.” answered Red already knowing that the guy was friendly and relaxed.

    “Um, so Red’s your name. So what will it be two on two three on three. I usually let the opponent to choose.”

    “Three on three please.” replied Red.

    “Well three on three it is Mr. Red.” Brock was happy to have a battle. He was joyful and had a great personality. Now Red wanted to see his skills.

    Brock called in a Referee to ref the game. The referee was an old man in a velvet suit. He seemed to know what he was doing.

    “The battle will be a three on three match with substitutions.” The Ref flipped a coin to see which opponent will make the first move. “Red from Pallet Town will make the first move.” said the professional Referee.

    “Go… Squirtle. Show them what we can do!” yelled out Red trying to keep a positive attitude.

    Brock threw his Pokeball onto the rocky ground. A rock shaped Pokemon appeared. It had a rough texture. Its eye’s were wide and narrow. Its arms stretched wide and it had no legs. It was a Geodude. The Geodude stood up in pride. He had the same optimistic attitude as his trainer.

    “A rock type; just what I needed.” said Red to himself quietly “Squirtle use water gun.” Geodude become drenched in the water.

    “Geodude don’t let your guards down. It doesn’t matter whether we win or lose; everyone is a winner.” advised Brock the wise trainer. “Now use Rock Throw.”

    Geodude formed a sphere shaped rock in his long strong arms. He threw the rock with all his might but it missed. Squirtle knew what was coming so he dodged intelligently without Red’s orders.

    “Nice move Squirtle but I am afraid I am going to substitute you for now.” Red realized that this guy specialized in Rock Types so he wanted a Ground Type to go with it. “Diglett come out!” yelled Red throwing his ball on to the battling stage.

    “Ok listen up Diglett. Whenever that Geodude is making a big move like throwing boulders, I want you to go under ground to dodge them.”

    “Now Geodude use Focus Punch on Diglett.” Diglett returned underground shielding himself from the action above ground.

    “Hm, it looks like this Diglett plays underground. Well than Geodude always expect him to be near you. That’s where they mainly heed for.” said Brock.

    Diglett returned above ground to find Geodude one inch away from him.

    “Now!” yelled Brock. The Focus Punch slammed into Digletts round head and forced him back underground.

    “That must have hurt” thought Red to himself. Red obviously knew that Brock was no easy opponent.

    ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////
    Next Time: Chapter 15 Halfway to Victory
    Comment, Suggest, Discuss
    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  13. #28
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 14 is now up) Please Comment

    Sorry for the delay in this Chapter. I have been busy and it's Exam Week so expect a new Chapter affter Thursday. By the way Thurday is the last Day of school for me so I will have a lot more time making Chapters and spending time on Bulbagarden. Please comment on this Chapter because I worked extreamly hard. Comment Sugest, Discuss.

    Chapter 15 Halfway to Victory


    There was no way that Red could manage to make out Geodude’s moves. Geodude was quick and mysterious. Geodude had not even moved a leg and he already sent Diglett into the ground.

    Diglett did not give up. He stood there a couple feet away from the tough Geodude.

    “I got it! I realized that Brock’s Geodude is a real slow mover. That can also means he can’t turn around as fast. Diglett I want you to return underground but attack him from behind.” mumbled Red towards his damaged Diglett.

    Diglett returned under the ground of the Gym floor. Diglett traveled underground until he reached his destination point. Quickly and quietly Diglett rose from the rocky ground a inch behind the clueless Geodude.

    Brock shouted “Behind you Geodude.” It was too late Diglett used Mud Slap. The mud moved straight across the Geodude’s face. The field filled with mud and Geodude was only to be seen… on the ground. Diglett was underground to avoid any damage from the Geodude and didn’t realize that he knocked out Geodude.

    “Geodude is unable to battle, Diglett is the winner.” announced the Referee engrossed in the battle.

    “Red you are a very prudent opponent but that doesn’t mean I am giving up. Onix I choose you!” Within a quick throw a massive rock type Pokemon appeared from his Pokeball. Onix was ten times Digletts height and was a lot thicker. Just like Geodude he had a Rock for his body; but Onix had many rocks to for his snake like body.

    “Wow, is that a real Onix. That Pokemon is huge meaning that this is even going to be tougher than I thought.” said Red. Onix glanced down at the puny Diglett and let out a little laugh.

    “Onix let’s take care of business. No one can get through my Onix without a good fight.” informed Brock.

    “Diglett return this Onix is simply too big for you.” announced Red returning the small Diglett. Squirtle took the stage once more against his opponent Onix.

    “Onix use Rock Throw and squash that little thing.” ordered Brock impatiently.

    Onix formed a giant boulder and aimed it at the water type, Squirtle. The boulder soared through the air heading in Squirtle’s direction.

    “Squirtle, quick doge it and move quickly towards the Onix. There is no time to waste.” ordered Red.

    Squirtle obeyed the orders given and successfully dodged the boulder. Squirtle headed towards the Rock type Pokemon as planed.

    “Now Squirtle listen carefully. I want you to try and get to its head and use focus punch. That will send it to the ground for sure. If that doesn’t work then… well lets not think about that.

    It was a tough challenge for Squirtle but he knew it was possible and he knew he would succeed.

    Onix swung its tail in many directions making it extremely difficult for Squirtle to move around. Jumping at every step Squirtle landed on Onix making its way to the top.

    “Onix don’t let it reach your head!” scolded Brock. Onix began to swing at itself and damaged its own body. With another swing both Squirtle and Onix were down.

    Both challengers are unable to battle. You may now send out your next Pokemon.” informed the Ref.

    Brock only had one more Pokemon left and Red had two. All that Red didn’t know was that this Pokemon was going to knock Red off his feet. “Come out… Golem.” yelled Brock releasing the immense rock type Pokemon who was a boulder.
    /////////////////////////////////////////////
    Next Time: Chapter 16 The Monstress Golem
    So What did you think?
    Comment, Suggest, Discuss.
    /////////////////////////////////////////////


  14. #29
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 16 is now up) Please Comment

    Please!! Comment!!

    Chapter 16 The Monstress Golem

    Red watched as the massive Golem exited its Pokeball. Golem was a huge boulder with a face feet and hands. Golem excitably took the stage to show off his invisible moves.

    Red began too think things straight. “How was Brocks strategies?” Then a quick thought passed through Red’s head. “Brock’s Pokemon never moved from the start of the battle. I wonder if the same thing applies to his Golem.

    “So what are you waiting for Red? You’re going to have to think hard to defeat my Golem. Golem stood there watching Red decide his next Pokemon.

    “Let’s go Nidoran.” screamed out Red releasing Nidoran to the battle field. Golem began to walk up to Nidoran but Nidoran did not move all he did was laugh. “Nidoran what are you laughing about. There is nothing funny, you should be running.

    Nidoran ignored again and had a threatening smirk on his face. “Nidoran if you are not going to listen to me then I am going to send you back.” scolded Red.

    Without warning Nidoran was smashed by the big fist of Golem. Nidoran was pushed back until he hit and giant rock behind him. Golem began to chase Nidoran around the field.

    Red thought to himself “What is Nidoran doing. He his making a fool of himself.”

    Nidoran still moved around the big field assuming that Golem was getting tired.

    “Enough fooling around Golem. All that Nidoran is trying to do is humiliate you front of all of us.” said the informing Brock.

    Golem stopped and so did the irritating Nidoran. Nidoran was a purple small little thing full of stubbornness. Golem began having a temper tantrum smashing every single piece of matter in his way.

    Red knew that it was going to be a difficult challenge to stop that Golem. Nidoran began doing his thing again by disobeying his trainer’s orders.

    “Please Nidoran; listen to me and don’t do your own thing. There is no way you can win.” explained Red very irritated. Nidoran ignored once again not surprising Red. “Ok Nidoran if you want to be smashed into tiny bits by all means go ahead.”

    Nidoran circled around Golem beginning to get tired himself. Golem through his fist down and was done playing Nidoran’s foolish games. The floor began to rumble and Red knew the attack was obviously Earthquake. Nidoran fell to his feet opening himself to attacks from Golem.

    Golem began to do in unfamiliar attack the Red had no clue what it was. As little bits of stone appeared it was Stone Edge. Nidoran was knocked out with in a second. Red returned his stubborn Pokemon that had lost because of its stubbornness.

    Red groaned again putting his Pokeball back into his back pack. Red took out his last chance… Diglett. Red released Diglett to the field once again.

    Golem walked toward Diglett running out of breath. “Diglett please don’t fail on me now. We are this close.” said Red.

    Golem smashed his fist into the ground. Golem was obviously still angry at Nidoran. The weird thing was that Brock just sat there watching his Pokemon run out of energy. Golem began to smash all the rocks in his way making his way up to Diglett.

    Golem stood closely and used Self-Destruct and knocked out himself. Not much damage was inflicted onto Diglett. Diglett had not moved an inch and he had defeated a huge monstress Pokemon.

    “Congrats Red you have just earned Boulder Badge.” said Brock handing Red’s first badge to him. Red studied his shiny first badge and then let out “I just got my first badge.”

    “Red you put up the most challenging battle of my whole entire Gym career. I know you are going to get far in life, so never give up.”

    Red said goodbye to Brock and the town and headed for the next destination point… Cerulean City.

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
    Next Time: Chapter 17 Red vs. Blue The Ultimate Battle
    Comment, Sugest, Discuss
    ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  15. #30
    BF Author alster08's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Kanto Master League (Ch. 15 is now up) Please Comment

    Chapter 17 Red vs. Blue The Ultimate Battle


    Red continued down the rocky path that led to his next destination point. Big rocks were everywhere that Red walked.

    “What are with all of these rocks.” said Red to Squirtle. Red knew that Squirtle didn’t know either. They ignored the rocks and thought it was probably from that mountain over there.

    Red heard footsteps beyond him that were getting closer. “Squirtle you here those footsteps too right?” said Red tripping over rocks in the way.

    Red looked carefully at the approaching person and then gasped.

    “Well, Well, Well, look who’s out of the hospital so soon.” said Red’s rival.

    “Blue what are you doing here.” mumbled Red looking Blue straight in the eyes.

    “What I can’t walk roads anymore?” answered Blue with an ugly smirk on his face.

    "So how’s your lame team going? Are they still the worst?” asked Blue being as mean as possible.

    “Blue you better stop that or, or ill just have to battle you one on one!” replied Red.

    “Fine then a one on one battle and hopefully you know that you stand know possible chance in beating me.” groaned Blue ready for battle.

    Red stood there red faced and shaky. He was going to humiliate himself all over again. “Oh man what am I going to do? I stand no chance against Blue.” thought Red.

    “Are you ready to get crushed now Red? If so let’s take our places.” ordered Blue impatiently. Red took his place and chose Squirtle for the battle.

    Blue took his place for the battle and chose his top Pokemon for the battle… Rhyperior.

    The epic battle began and Squirtle was again the shortest in the battle.

    Red thought to himself “That Rhyperior is huge and could crush Squirtle with in a footstep. We are going to have to think big and move fast.

    “Rhyperior this Squirtle is quick so let’s end this quick.” said Blue.

    With Blue having said that it brought Red into a deep flashback of when Blue and Red were kids.

    Red was outside playing with Squirtle until Blue interrupted their fun. Blue was as stuck up with himself back then too He’d always make fun of Red and his Squirtle because they were both small. What made him feel big was that he had an Arcanine that moved as fast as a jet at full speed.

    He also thought he was the smartest kid in the whole world because his grandfather was the famous Professor Oak. Whenever Red tried to explain to everyone that Blue was an evil stuck up baby nobody believed him.

    Then came the day of their first battle. Blue was smack talking through the whole entire battle.

    Squirtle and Red would always tried hard to get an attack but the Arcanine was too quick for Squirtle. Dodging every one of Squirtle’s moves Arcanine still wouldn’t be tired.

    During their battle one specific comment stuck out that Blue had said. “You and your Squirtle are sore losers that don’t know how to fight.” After that comment Red never wanted to see Blue ever again but that was impossible.

    Now it was Red’s turn to prove Blue wrong. “Blue let’s fight.” The battle for a victor began. Pressure was on both opponents sides. Who will win?

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