20th March 2013, 09:14 AM #1
◓Gypsy Vanner Horse
The Kane Dome
This story is a rewrite of the original "The Kane Dome". I considered continuing that story, but some story lines were changed, some subplots were cut out, and others were added, so it ended up being vastly different to the original, and I felt that it needed a rewrite. I hope you enjoy it.
20th March 2013, 09:15 AM #2
◓Gypsy Vanner Horse
Russell slid his trainer card into the door, prompting a buzz and the sound of the lock. He pushed it open and walked into his hotel room; it was much bigger than he had ever imagined. A large bed rested to his right, facing a wall that seemed to be a large screen. A row of windows was aligned opposite him, and Russell could see the Kane Safari Zone through them, with trainers running around trying to catch various Pokémon.
Bartlet Kane must have been very proud of her last name, or very self-centered. In addition to the Kane Safari Zone, there was the KD Network, the Kane Dome Hotel, the Kane Tournament, and the Kane Dome itself, and those were the ones Russell knew about. He closed the door behind him, and flung his backpack onto the bed. The bathroom was just as impressive, with a pool resting at the far end, and a shower that was wide enough to house an entire family.
To the far left corner of the bedroom, opposite the bathroom door, was an elevator that led to the Training Area. Once again, Russell slid his trainer card into the slot, and the doors opened with a hurry. The lift was cylindrical and lined with screens that flashed advertisements relating to the dome. Russell grew tired of the fact; the tournament was only going to be a bonus, and the real attraction was the dome itself.
It was announced four years earlier, and the construction was going to take three years, but the dome was large enough to contain a city, and was built in the middle of a large desert. An airport rested next to it, and there was even the option for permanent residence in the dome. The elevator passed a few glass panels, and through them, Russell could see the bustling streets, and the towering skyscrapers. The borders of the dome were too far away for him to see them clearly, and the horizon seemed to be full of a sandstorm that was held back by an unseen force.
The elevator doors opened up to five trams, marked as Forest, Field, Pond, Mountain, and Sea. A couple of trainers boarded the pond tram, and several lifts were lined up next to Russell’s. After a ding, the trams left, and a screen at the top of the railways started a countdown of five minutes.
‘We don’t need to wait that long,’ said Russell, snapping a Poké Ball from his belt. ‘Welcome to the dome, Treason!’
The Poké Ball opened with a cry, the Pokémon thrashing before it had even formed. The enveloping light began to fade, and two wide wings became apparent. The Pokémon let out another high-pitched cry; its mouth was full of sharp, jagged fangs, and his body was covered in scars. Three-fingered hands sprouted from the corners of his wings, and it had several small humps.
Treason, Russell’s Aerodactyl, was the first Pokémon to join the young boy. When Russell applied to join The Kane Tournament, he was asked to pick three Pokémon that would accompany him to the dome, and only three. Of course, his first pick had been Treason. Russell traded an Odd Keystone for an Old Amber, and both were items that couldn’t be normally found in Hoenn. Since he had him revived, Treason had always been a vicious, brutal Pokémon, but it listened to what Russell had to say, as following the trainer always resulted in a battle that would not end in a loss.
Treason let out another cry, prompting Russell to wrap his hands around the Pokémon, and fling himself to his back. With a flap of his wings, Treason was in the sky, and the pair was flying over the hotel.
‘Let’s find someone to battle,’ said Russell. ‘Stick to this building.’
Many times, Treason had considered ignoring his trainer, and diving to attack humans, but very early on, the Aerodactyl had realised that the humans were far too advanced to be picked off like prey, and he probably wouldn’t last long if he decided to go that route.
But even in his relatively tame nature, Treason was still a Pokémon to be feared. It was the king of the skies more than two hundred years ago, and the other members of his species feared him. Less than a year ago, he had carried Russell from Hoenn to Unova, even passing some of the slower planes; he had been flying at his top speed, with Russell clinging on with fear, and tucking his head in a desperate attempt to avoid the wind.
The pair was in the sky again, scouring for a Pokémon to defeat. Russell had forbidden any killing, much to Treason’s dismay, but complete harm and destruction was still a viable option. Perhaps it’s because Russell had been an integral part in reviving him from the Old Amber that he trusted the human, or perhaps it was because he was every bit as forceful as Treason.
It was in the field area that the pair finally met the challenge they had been looking for. A thin blonde boy dressed in a school uniform was walking by his Pokémon, which looked suspiciously like green jelly. Russell ordered his Pokémon to descend, and with a roar that drew the opponents’ attention, he hit the ground and stood as tall as he could.
‘Who are you?’ The boy asked, clearly annoyed.
‘Russell,’ said Russell. ‘Are you up for a battle?’
The boy threw a glance at his Pokémon, who gave a nod of agreement. It didn’t look like a challenge, and Treason grinned as the smaller Pokémon slowly approached the battle arena. The grass was tall and thick around them, reaching up to their knees.
‘My name’s William,’ the boy said. ‘And this is Network.’
He looked like a small Pokémon encased in jelly, with only two legs attached to the small body inside. His arms were made of several disconnected joints, and extended to form three-fingered hands in the green substance.
‘This should be quick,’ said Russell. ‘Sky drop!’
Treason gave another roar. He lifted his body off of the ground, and with an audible flap of his wings, flew towards the Reuniclus. Network didn’t have the time to evade as the larger Pokémon wrapped his clawed feet around him, and flew to the sky. Treason’s nails were digging into the squirming Pokémon as he stopped his ascent, and with frightening speed, was heading to the ground.
Treason gave another roar as he drove Network to the grass, skidding the ground with him still squirming in his legs. A few pieces of the green substance flew off, and Treason gave a howl of joy, before flying back towards the sky.
‘Now, Network,’ said William. ‘Use Pain Split.’
The Pokémon glowed with a lighter shade of green as the pieces of jelly flew back to him, forming his body as if he had never been hurt. Treason cried in pain as the pieces that were attached to his leg flew back to Network, taking the majority of the Aerodactyl’s health with them.
For a few seconds, he struggled in the air to regain his balance, almost falling into the ground each time a piece of the green jelly detached itself from him. He flew further into the sky before turning to the Reuniclus and giving a deafening roar.
‘Now he’s angry,’ said Russell. ‘You’ll be lucky if your Pokémon makes it out of this alive. Crunch!’
Treason descended again, his mouth of fangs ready for the impact as Network seemed hesitant. That Pokémon was obviously just a rookie, and Russell gave a grin as he realised that the battle wasn’t going to end in a loss for them; why had he even doubted his Pokémon in the first place?
Treason snapped his mouth shut around Network, prompting a howl of pain from the Pokémon as he failed to deliver his attack. If he used the same technique as before, this would be painful for Treason, but all he cared about at that moment was watching the green Pokémon writhe in pain. His fangs tightened around Network, and with a forceful pull, Treason flew off with a large chunk of the Pokémon in his mouth.
‘Truly primitive,’ said William, disgust showing on his face. ‘Pain Split, again, Network.’
Treason desperately tried to split the chunks out of his mouth, and while the majority of it fell to the ground, other pieces had lodged themselves between his teeth. He felt the hot energy, and the pain followed. It was much more intense than the last time, and Treason fell to the ground.
This time, it was the winged Pokémon who was squirming in pain. Russell had never seen his Pokémon like this before, wings flailing and fingers clutching at the grass. This couldn’t be their first loss; they couldn’t even lose. He wanted to rush to his Pokémon’s aid, but he knew that Treason wouldn’t appreciate such an act of weakness, so he stood his ground, not even giving encouragements to the Pokémon.
When all the pieces had reattached themselves to Network, and the pain stopped, Treason raised himself up, panting and full of murderous intent.
‘Don’t be weak, Treason,’ said Russell; it was the only encouragement his Pokémon accepted. ‘End this with Crunch!’
‘Again? Pain Split, Network.’
There was no howl or roar that time. Treason flew into the air in silence, glaring at the Reuniclus, and determined to end the battle. He dashed to the green Pokémon before biting at Network’s head. If any pieces detached themselves from him that time, Network’s neck would be exposed to Treason. He cried in pain, but knew that any attempt to come free could result in his death.
‘That’s enough,’ said William, showing the signs of weakness that Russell rejected. ‘You win, let Network go.’
Treason bit harder through the gel, laughing as he stopped flapping his wings and descended to the ground. He knew that he had won, but all he cared about was Network’s anguished cries, and his attempts at hardening the substance around his neck.
‘I said that’s enough!’
William had run to face the Aerodactyl, who looked at the human with satisfaction.
‘Let him go,’ said William. ‘Tell your Pokémon to let Network go!’
Russell wanted to savour the moment, but he didn’t want to get kicked out of the tournament.
‘Spit him out, Treason,’ said Russell. ‘We won.’
The winged Pokémon threw Network to the ground before marching off to Russell’s side, scoffing as William rushed to his Pokémon’s side.
‘Well, that was a fun battle,’ said Russell, feeling stupid for doubting Treason, even for a second. ‘Let’s battle again. Maybe it will be in the tournament.’
22nd March 2013, 12:35 PM #3
Slashing through to you
Re: The Kane Dome
Well I have to say I was always interested in the idea of this fic xD I can´t remember much about the other one though. Once again your specialty are your flawed characters, Russel gives you a different view to what we´re usually used to seeing in trainers and his Pokemon is just as blood thirsty as him.
The battle was good, it was very gruesome, but try to add a little more emotion to it, maybe space it out a bit more.
22nd March 2013, 12:47 PM #4
◓Gypsy Vanner Horse
Re: The Kane Dome
Again, thank you for the compliments! I did feel that the battle wasn't the best it could have been, but I couldn't pinpoint what exactly was wrong with it. I'll keep your comments in mind when writing future battles. Thank you for the feedback!
Originally Posted by Flaze