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Thread: Jim's Unova Journey

  1. #1
    Registered User TPrower's Avatar
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    Default Jim's Unova Journey

    This is the story involving the profiles I made in this thread:

    It will go chapter by chapter, and it's written in script format. If you guys like the prologue, I will continue to post the chapters as I complete them.

    And so, our story begins, and by the way, if it seems familiar to something which I won't mention, it was intended, so please do not criticize me for that. XD Enjoy!


    First Impressions

    The story begins in Nuvema Town of Unova, a small, neat village at the edge of the sea. In a two-story house, in his bedroom, Jim, a young teenage boy with messy black hair under a red baseball cap, sits on the edge of his bed, reading a book entitled “LONG FROM HOME: A HERDIER’S TALE”. A box sits on his computer desk. His mom calls from downstairs.
    Mrs. Stevens: Jim! Bianca and Cheren are here!
    Jim: Thanks, Mom! They can come in!
    He sets his book down and stands up, just as the door opens, and his childhood friends Cheren and Bianca walk in. Cheren is somewhat shorter with glasses and neat black hair, looking somewhat stuffy but pleasant-natured. Bianca is in the middle when it comes to height, her blond hair curling out from under a jaunty green beret, her expression indicating boundless cheeriness.
    Bianca: Hi, Jim! We came as soon as we heard!
    Cheren: Well, maybe that’s stretching it a little. We’d have been here sooner if SOMEONE had set their alarm clock correctly.
    He gives Bianca a pointed look.
    Bianca: It’s not my fault! No one told me daylight savings had ended!
    Jim: * laughing * Guys, guys, calm down…Let’s not forget why we’re assembled here.
    He indicates the box.
    Cheren: So Professor Juniper thinks we’re ready to have Pokemon of our own?
    Jim: Looks like it. She said these are very rare Pokemon, ones she gives out to all new trainers.
    Bianca: Ooh! I’m so excited! Let’s open it!
    Cheren: Hold it, Bianca. This is Jim’s house, so I say we let him choose first.
    Bianca: Ohh, good idea!
    Jim takes the top off the box. Inside are three Poke Balls. Each one has a small label in front of it: “SNIVY: THE GRASS SNAKE POKEMON”, “TEPIG: THE FIRE PIG POKEMON”, and “OSHAWOTT: THE OTTER POKEMON”. Jim looks them over, considering, then picks up the one labeled “Snivy”. Cheren reaches in and takes the “Tepig” ball, while Bianca picks “Oshawott”.
    Jim: Ok, Snivy, come on out!
    He clicks the button on the front, and in a burst of light, Snivy, a small, vaguely lizard-like snake with tiny arms and legs, a pointed nose and large red eyes, appears on the floor, hands on hips, looking rather smug.
    Snivy: * feminine voice * Snivy!
    Jim: Hi there, girl! Looks like you and me are partners.
    Snivy merely turns her head, looking aloof.
    Cheren: Come on out, Tepig!
    His ball opens, and from it emerges Tepig, a little orange and black pig, its tail ending in a small bauble.
    Tepig: Tepig! * sneezes, sending a spray of embers scattering *
    Cheren: Whoa! Guess that’s why they call you a fire pig, eh, little fella? Welcome aboard!
    Tepig: * smiles * Tepig!
    Bianca: Let’s see you, Oshawott!
    Bianca’s ball opens, and out comes Oshawott, a small blue and white otter with a cream-colored shell attached to its stomach. It looks up at Bianca with big shiny eyes of adoration.
    Oshawott: Oshawott!
    Bianca: * gushes * Oh my GOSH! You are so ADORABLE! * scoops up Oshawott and hugs it * I could just hug you to death, you little cutie pie!
    Oshawott: * hugs Bianca * Oshawott!
    Cheren: You know what this calls for? A battle to start out our new careers as trainers!
    Bianca: Yeah!
    Jim: Sounds great!
    So the three grab up their Pokemon and head out of the house.

    Outside Professor Juniper’s Pokemon laboratory, Jim and Cheren stand apart from each other, Snivy and Tepig facing each other. Bianca and Oshawott stand off to the side. Tepig looks tough and paws the ground with his foot, but Snivy’s expression doesn’t change. Just as they’re about to start, Professor Juniper, expert of Pokemon origins, steps out of her lab.
    Juniper: Oh! Hello, kids!
    Bianca: Hey, Professor! We were just about to battle with our new Pokemon!
    Juniper: Really? That’s a great way to start off your new relationships! Let’s see what you can do, Jim, Cheren.
    Cheren: * adjusts his glasses * No problem, Professor.
    Jim: Let’s get the show on the road! * eagerly points forward * Go get him, Snivy!
    Snivy, however, doesn’t attack. She crosses her arms and looks away defiantly, much to everyone’s surprise.
    Jim: …Snivy? Don’t you want to battle?
    Snivy: * shakes her head *
    Jim: Why not?
    When Snivy speaks, to Jim it sounds like a human speaking, but to the others, it sounds like she’s just saying her name.
    Snivy: <You’re not a proper trainer.>
    Jim: What do you mean ‘not a proper trainer’??
    Snivy: <You just don’t seem like my kind of trainer, so I don’t wish to be ordered around by a mediocre wannabe.>
    Jim: Mediocre wannabe?! How do you know I’m not the right kind of trainer? You hardly know me!
    Snivy: <I know what to look for, and you, my friend, don’t have it.>
    By now, Jim is getting really annoyed.
    Jim: Listen, you stuck-up little snake, I don’t care what kind of attitude problem you have! I chose you as my Pokemon, and when I give you a command, you WILL follow it!
    Snivy glares at him with great indignation, and without warning, a pair of vines rise out from the collar area of her neck and she sharply whips Jim with both of them, shocking Cheren and causing Bianca and Juniper to gasp. Jim stands there, stunned, and Snivy, casting one last furious glance at him, flits off into the grass leading to Route 1. Jim watches her go, then, furious, throws his hat to the ground, yelling after her.
    Jim: Fine! Go ahead! Who needs a stubborn, disobedient Pokemon like you anyway!?
    He turns and starts to walk away. Cheren and Bianca look at each other, concerned, as do Oshawott and Tepig. Juniper approaches and grips Jim’s shoulders, looking quite grieved.
    Juniper: Jim…I’m so sorry…if only I’d known…
    Jim: It’s not your fault, Professor…you couldn’t have seen it coming.
    Juniper: But I should have…that Snivy’s been at my lab for a long time. She’s almost impossible to deal with, turning down trainers left and right.
    Bianca: That’s terrible! A Pokemon shouldn’t be in charge of who their trainer is!
    Cheren: Actually, Bianca, it’s how a Pokemon relates to their trainer that affects their partnership, so it makes perfect sense. Unpleasant, perhaps, but perfectly sensible.
    Bianca: But it just doesn’t seem fair…why should Jim have to miss out?…
    Jim: …She thinks she has the better of me, but she doesn’t.
    Bianca: Huh?
    Jim: I’m going out there to find her, no matter what.
    Juniper: What?? Without a Pokemon?? But there are wild ones out there! If you’re not careful-
    Jim: Don’t try to stop me! I chose her, and I’m not going to give up on her!
    He picks up his hat, sets it on his head, and marches off toward Route 1.
    Cheren: …I can’t decide whether he’s either the bravest kid or biggest fool I’ve ever known…
    Bianca: Jim…
    As they watch, the skies begin to cloud over ominously.

    On Route 1, where the ocean sits to the west, and all is green and peaceful, Snivy is moving along, her anger cooling off.
    Snivy: <The nerve of that boy, trying to tell me what to do…So many trainers haven’t met my standards, so why should he?…>
    She sits down under an apple tree and sighs. Looking next to her, she sees a freshly-dropped apple, picks it up, and starts munching on it.
    ?: <Hey!>
    Snivy looks up from her eating. Several Purrloin, purple-and-cream colored cats with tails tipped with scythe-shapes, glare at her.
    Snivy: <…You have a problem?>
    Purrloin: <BIG one. This is OUR territory, so those apples belong to US!>
    Snivy: * smiles in a teasing way * <But they’re so delicious…I can’t just have one bite.>
    Purrloin: <You do and your history, snake!>
    Snivy deliberately takes another big bite out of the apple. With a snarl, the leader of the Purrloin lunges at her, claws extended. However, Snivy’s vines whip out again, grabbing the tree branch above her, and she swings herself up to it, making the Purrloin bash his head against the trunk, bringing a cascade of apples down on him. Snivy laughs.
    Snivy: <There’s all the apples you could want, boys! Now buzz off!>
    Snarling, the Purrloin begin climbing the trees after her, but she leaps off the branch ahead of them, speeding through the grass. The leader emerges from the pile of apples, enraged. He sends out a series of high-pitched yowls into the air, echoing across the route, causing a flock of pigeon-like Pidove to take to the air in fright. Snivy stops, alert. Through the grass ahead, she sees something that makes her eyes widen and makes her gasp. Many more Purrloin approach, forming a ring around Snivy, a knot of sneering, growling cat faces. Snivy looks from one side to the other, trying to find a way out, but there is none. The leader makes himself visible.
    Purrloin: <I told you, Snivy…you mess with us, and you’re history…ANCIENT history…Get ready, boys. Claws out!>
    Thousands of needle-sharp claws make their appearance from every paw of every Purrloin. Snivy gulps, looking nervous.
    Snivy: <Aw, man…this is what I get I suppose…If I’d just given Jim a chance, I wouldn’t be Purrloin bait…Jim, even if you can’t hear me…I’m sorry…>
    Purrloin: <ATTACK!>
    The Purrloin all leap at Snivy, but when they reach her spot, she’s already vanished. Bewildered, they look around, then look to the north and see that Jim has arrived on the scene, having scooped up Snivy from the clutches of the Purrloin. He sets her back down without giving her a second look, the skies having grown dark, and a rain beginning to fall.
    Snivy: <Jim…>
    Jim: Get out of here, Snivy. I’ll hold them off as long as I can…they won’t harm a scale on your head…
    He spreads his arms out wide in defiant blockage as the Purrloin growl and start advancing.
    Jim: Do you hear me, Purrloin! I am James Stevens of Nuvema Town, aspiring trainer, and as long as I live and breathe, I will not allow harm to become of her, even if she doesn‘t want to be my Pokemon…I defy you, now COME AND GET ME!
    Yowling, claws outstretched, they lunge, Snivy absolutely bewildered at Jim’s behavior. Suddenly, when it seems Jim is about to be reduced to a scratching post, a loud, unearthly roar fills the air, and a pillar of blue fire comes crashing down in between Jim and the Purrloin, the impact of it blasting them apart and causing a fiery explosion visible from afar, even from the concerned residents of Nuvema Town…

    By that time, the sun has returned, the clouds scattering. A great burned circle on the ground indicates where the odd blue fire had struck. The Purrloin are nowhere to be seen. Jim lays on the ground, burned, bruised, and dazed. Slowly, he opens his eyes, sits up, and looks about.
    Jim: …What was that all about?…Well, in any case, it looks like we’ve won…But I guess Snivy took my word and left…good for her. She should be safer that way…
    He gets to his feet and starts limping back toward Nuvema Town.
    Snivy: <Jim.>
    Jim stops dead in his tracks. He turns to see an equally battered Snivy approaching him.
    Jim: Snivy…
    Snivy: <Jim…what you did…I…thank you…>
    Jim Well, I…
    Snivy: <I was wrong…you ARE the trainer I’ve been looking for…kind, selfless, willing to risk it all to protect his friends…Will you forgive me for judging you wrongly?…>
    Jim looks down at Snivy. Her large red eyes are glistening with tears.
    Jim: …Of course I can, Snivy. That’s what friends do…
    The tears rolling faster as she smiles, she suddenly runs and leaps into Jim’s arms, hugging him tightly. Jim hugs her in return, a few tears leaking from his own eyes.
    Snivy: <To be honest…I had hoped it was really you…You understand Pokemon better than anybody…>
    Jim: Well, I don’t know about that, Ivy, but-
    Snivy: <Ivy?>
    Jim: Huh? Oh, right! It’s a nickname I had picked out for you, when we got underway. I thought it fit you perfectly. I hope you don’t mind.
    Snivy: * grins * Not at all…
    She leans up and licks his cheek with her forked tongue. Jim’s eyes moisten again, but he smiles and carries her back to Nuvema Town with him.
    Last edited by TPrower; 15th April 2011 at 08:07 AM.

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  2. #2
    Registered User TPrower's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jim's Unova Journey

    Of Dragons and Pokedexes

    Jim and Ivy return to Nuvema Town, and are almost instantly ambushed by Cheren, Bianca, Professor Juniper, and Jim’s mother.
    Mom: Jim! Oh, thank heavens you’re all right! When I saw that explosion, I didn’t know WHAT to think!
    She grabs him up tightly and kisses him repeatedly.
    Jim: * embarrassed * Mom! I’m all right, really!
    Cheren: Hey, you found Snivy again!
    Bianca: And…she’s smiling! What happened?
    Jim: Apparently, she got on the bad side of some Purrloin, and I got in between them and her. Just when they were about to scratch me to death, this weird blue fire came out of the sky and blasted them away. When I came to, she had completely changed. She said she had been wrong about me the whole time, and was willing to be my Pokemon now.
    Bianca: She said that?
    Jim: Well, sure. Why not?
    Cheren: Well…it just seems odd that you’d be fully able to comprehend what she could have said, her being a Pokemon and all.
    Jim: * confused * What do you mean? You hear them too, don’t you?
    Bianca: All we hear is them saying their names…
    Jim: Really?…
    He looks quite bewildered.
    Juniper: * to Mrs. Stevens * Cathy, would it be all right with you if I had a private talk with Jim and his friends?
    Mrs. Stevens: Of course, Professor! By all means!
    Nodding to the three, Juniper leads them to her laboratory and lets them inside, where they take a seat at her desk.
    Juniper: First of all, Jim, is there anything you can tell me about this odd blue fire?
    Jim: What’s there to tell? It was just a great big pillar of blue flames that came right out of the clouds, unaffected by the rain.
    Juniper: …That’s what I figured…As you kids know, my field is on the origins of Pokemon. Where they came from and how they developed is my specialty…so have either of you ever heard of the legend of the Heroes and the Dragons?
    Cheren: I have, Professor. It was said that the land of Unova was created by the direction of two heroes, who were brothers, and a Dragon Pokemon they controlled. However, the two began to argue about what paths to follow, and in response, the dragon split itself into two: Reshiram, the White Dragon of Fire, and Zekrom, the Black Dragon of Electricity.
    Jim: Reshiram…and Zekrom…Wait! Professor, are you saying that the fire was-
    Juniper: It’s only a theory, mind you, but it seems very plausible that you and Snivy were saved by Reshiram.
    Jim: But…why?
    Juniper: I can’t say with certainty why…but it may have something to do with you.
    Jim: Me?
    Juniper: Reshiram and Zekrom were the Pokemon of the Heroes of Unova. Therefore, they are able to recognize the redeeming and heroic qualities within people…and it seems that Reshiram saw those qualities in you.
    Jim: B-But I’m no hero! I’m just an ordinary guy!
    Juniper: …Are you?
    Jim: …Huh?
    Juniper: As Bianca and Cheren said, you understand Pokemon like they can’t. What they hear as merely them saying their own names, you hear as their true voices, their true feelings and expressions. You have an unusual gift, but a remarkable and special one at that.
    Jim: …I never realized…it seemed so normal to me…Why didn’t anyone say anything before?
    Cheren: Well, we…we figured you were sort of…pretending, and we just played along.
    Jim looks slightly ashamed.
    Juniper: Don’t feel bad, Jim…like I said, it’s a remarkable gift, and no one’s making fun of you for it. Heck, I wish I could talk to Pokemon like you could…and besides that, you distinguished yourself out there on the route, I believe, by protecting a Pokemon who wasn’t even willing to accept you. That took real bravery and heart, Jim…
    Jim looks at Juniper and his friends. They’re all smiling at him. He smiles back.
    Juniper: Now, that’s not the only thing I wanted to talk to you kids about.
    She stands up and goes to a locked cabinet, unlocking it.
    Juniper: Like I said, my field is Pokemon origins, but there are still plenty of things I still haven’t figured out yet, which is why I’d like to ask you to help me.
    Bianca: We’d LOVE to help, Professor! What is it?
    Juniper: Well, now that you have your own Pokemon, I think it’s high-time you also had your own…Pokedexes!
    She turns and shows them three machines that look like silver, very thin cell phones, decorated with a Poke Ball symbol under the screen.Jim:
    Our own Pokedexes?
    Juniper: The very latest model! Here, try them out!
    She hands one out to each of them. Jim holds it up, facing Ivy, who’s sitting on his knee. An image of a Snivy appears on the screen, and a voice speaks.
    Pokedex: Snivy, the Grass Snake Pokemon. Cool, calm, and collected, Snivy uses photosynthesis to collect energy through the leaf on its tail.
    He then aims it at Tepig and Oshawott.
    Pokedex: Tepig, the Fire Pig Pokemon. Its health is determined by the embers it sneezes. Oshawott, the Sea Otter Pokemon. It attacks and defends using the scalchop on its stomach.
    Jim: Pretty slick!
    Juniper: I have a few more things for you too…
    She brings up a box. Inside are several Poke Balls and a few slim hinged cases.
    Juniper: Poke Balls, for catching wild Pokemon, and badge cases.
    Cheren: Badge cases?…Oh! You think we ought to take the Unova League challenge!
    Juniper: Exactly! What better way to get acquainted with Pokemon than by traveling across Unova and taking on the eight Gym Leaders? If you do well, you’ll be able to take on the Pokemon League!
    Bianca: Really?? That’d be so neat!
    Jim imagines to himself what it would be like to win the Pokemon League: him and Ivy standing tall and proud with an enormous trophy in Jim’s hands. The vision fades when Juniper speaks up again.
    Juniper: So, kids? What do you say? Like the idea?
    Bianca: Yes!
    Cheren: Indeed!
    Jim: You bet!
    Juniper: I knew you’d like it! Do me proud, kids!
    The three head out of the lab, excited.
    Cheren: Becoming the Pokemon League Champion…THAT’S the life for me!
    Bianca: I just wanna go out and meet as many Pokemon as I can!
    Jim: I’m with both of you. It’d be awesome to conquer the League, but I also want to be able to see all the Pokemon I can…Speaking of, we never did get to our battle, did we?
    Cheren: That’s right! I’d nearly forgotten!
    Bianca: Let’s get right to it before we go on!
    Jim: * looks to Ivy * What do you think, Ivy?
    Ivy: * nods * <I’m all for it!>
    Jim: Ok, Cheren, you and me!
    The battle is set up as it was before, Jim and Cheren facing each other, Ivy and Tepig between them, ready to battle.
    Bianca: Let the battle…begin!
    Jim: Ivy, Tackle!
    Ivy sprints at Tepig.
    Cheren: Tepig, fight Tackle with Tackle!
    Tepig charges at Ivy. The two ram into each other and are both thrown back. However, Ivy gracefully lands on her feet, while Tepig lands on his rear. He shakes off his dizziness and crouches again, teeth bared.
    Cheren: Ok, Tepig, use Ember!
    Tepig sucks in its breath, then releases it sharply, resulting in a spray of flames which head for Ivy. However, without being commanded, Ivy back-flips, dodging the Ember.
    Jim: Atta girl, Ivy! Counter with Vine Whip!
    Ivy’s vines rise out from the collar of her neck and lash out at Tepig. Tepig dodges the first one, but the second one catches him across the back, sending him sprawling. Tepig struggles to stay up.
    Cheren: Don’t give up, Tepig! Use Ember one more time!
    Jim: Ivy, dodge and Tackle!
    Tepig sends another spray of flames at Ivy, who leaps over them and slams Tepig from the air, sending him rolling. He lays still, too weak to get up.
    Bianca: * raises a hand * Tepig is unable to battle! Snivy wins!
    Jim: Awesome! Great work, Ivy!
    Ivy: * smugly * <Naturally.>
    Cheren looks slightly crushed, but masks it.
    Cheren: Wow…a Grass Type defeating a Fire Type…your Snivy is really something else, Jim.
    Jim: Well, thanks, Cheren.
    Bianca: Now me! Now me!
    Jim: * laughing * Ok, ok, Bianca, calm down.
    She takes Cheren’s place, and Cheren now oversees the match. Oshawott looks slightly intimidated by Ivy, who glares at him, fists on hips.
    Cheren: Begin!
    Bianca: Oshawott, use Tackle!
    Jim: Ivy, you use Tackle as well!
    The two charge at each other, and meet head-on, just like Ivy and Tepig, and the two fly back from the impact.
    Bianca: Ok, Oshawott, now use Water Gun!
    Oshawott fires a stream of water from his mouth, splashing Ivy, but she doesn’t change countenance.
    Jim: Good job, Ivy! Use Leer!
    Ivy looks straight at Oshawott, and her eyes glow completely yellow. Oshawott becomes unnerved, shuddering.
    Jim: Now, use Tackle again!
    Ivy dashes at Oshawott, slamming into him. He rolls along the ground and flops onto his back, unable to move.
    Cheren: * raises a hand * Oshawott is unable to battle! Snivy is the winner!
    Jim: 2 for 2! Ivy, you’re a marvel!
    Ivy climbs onto Jim’s shoulder and nuzzles him.
    Bianca: I don’t understand, Jim. Why didn’t you make her use Vine Whip? You would have won quicker.
    Jim: Because I didn’t wanna win based only on type advantage. I wanted us to be on even terms.
    Bianca: Really? Aw, you’re such a nice guy, Jim…
    Cheren: Indeed…So, Bianca, that leaves you and me.
    Jim: You guys go ahead. Ivy and I are gonna get a head start on our journey.
    Bianca: You don’t wanna travel with us?…
    Jim: Aw, now, Bianca, it’s not that I don’t wanna be with you or Cheren. I just think it’d be more fun to see who can get the farthest first based on our own skills.
    Cheren: As much as I wouldn’t like for us to be separated, I believe Jim has a point, Bianca. This is a chance to be the best we can be ourselves, not just as a team.
    Bianca: Well…I GUESS that makes sense…
    Jim: Besides, we’ll meet up again before long…
    He extends his hand. Bianca grins and brings hers down on his. They look at Cheren, who is giving Jim an odd, almost jealous look, but smiles in return and puts his hand on theirs.
    Jim: All right, then! I’m gonna stop home and say goodbye to Mom, and then I’m off! Good luck, guys!
    Bianca: Good luck, Jim!
    Cheren doesn’t speak, but nods. Jim hurries off toward his house and dashes through the front door.
    Jim: Mom!…Mom? Where are you?
    He finds her in the living room, the cordless phone beside her on the sofa. She looks sad when she looks up at him.
    Jim: …Mom? What’s wrong?
    Mrs. Stevens: * tries to smile * Nothing, sweetie, nothing…Professor Juniper just called to tell me everything…how you want to leave and face the Pokemon League…
    Jim: …I do, Mom, but I don’t want you to be sad.
    Mrs. Stevens: * stands up * Of course I’m sad, dear…it means saying goodbye to you…but I’m also so happy for you…So happy that you get to live out your dreams…I’ve already packed everything you need.
    She hands him his backpack and something that looks like a wristwatch, but very advanced.
    Jim: …An X-Transceiver?
    Mrs. Stevens: It was your father’s, a gift from Cedric Juniper. It already has Cheren, Bianca, and the professor’s numbers on it, so you’ll never be apart for long.
    Jim: Wow…thanks, Mom…* eyes moisten * I’m really going to miss you too…
    The two hug each other for a long time, almost unable to let go.When they separate, Mrs. Stevens turns to Ivy.
    Mrs. Stevens: Watch out for him, ok, Ivy?
    Ivy: * nods * <I will.>
    With one last glance at her, Jim shoulders his pack and leaves the house, turning back toward Route 1 and the start of his journey.

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  3. #3
    Pata pata pata pata pata! Italy-kun's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jim's Unova Journey

    Moar plz!
    "It just goes to show you that people with brain damage are the real heroes, aren't they?" --Wheatley, Portal 2
    "Open mouth, insert foot." --Joe Kido, Digimon Adventure 01
    "Screw it, the gloves are coming off, MEAN BEAN MACHINE!" --Me playing Sonic Mega Collection

    Played in Inazuma Eleven Mafia, Super Street Fighter IV Mafia and Pokemon Christmas Mafia 2011. Winning faction of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Mafia and DPPt: Sinnoh Mafia! SO HAPPY!

  4. #4
    Registered User TPrower's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jim's Unova Journey

    Glad you're liking it. =)

    By the way, please don't crticize on how much time goes by in the story. I have no idea what the ratio is of how long it takes in the game and how long it would really take to go from town to town. XD

    Team Plasma

    The crisp fall leaves swirl around Jim and Ivy as they walk Route 1, now devoid of Purrloin. Instead, they see flocks of Pidove, and an occasional Lillipup, a brown puppy with a furry, cream-colored face. However, Jim doesn’t feel compelled to catch any of them, something Ivy notes.
    Ivy: <Why don’t you want to try and catch any of them?>
    Jim: I don’t wanna be just another random trainer, catching everything in sight, Ivy. I’m holding out for something special, Pokemon I’d be proud to build my team with.
    Ivy shrugs, not wanting to argue. They walk all that day, stopping to rest or eat every so often, and as evening falls, they sight Accumula Town, a small but bustling city, over a hill.
    Jim: We’re almost to our first stop, Ivy: Accumula Town!
    He hurries on down the hill and runs as fast as he can to the city gate.
    Jim: Looks like it’s a home-cooked meal and a cozy bed for us tonight, Ivy!
    Ivy: <Great!>
    They stroll their way into the main street, but are stopped almost immediately. A crowd of people is swarmed around something. Curious, Jim walks over and slips his way through the mass.
    Jim: Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry. Oh, was that your foot?
    He and Ivy now see a group of people dressed in strange silver armor, like medieval knights. Standing before them is a middle-aged man with yellow-green hair, dressed in flowing robes decorated with strange symbols. One eye is covered with a red eyepiece.
    Ghetsis: Greetings, citizens of Accumula Town…I am Ghetsis, Ghetsis of Team Plasma. I and my soldiers are here to speak to you of a matter of the utmost importance. Ask anyone, and they would say that humans and Pokemon live together in perfect harmony, that the benefit of one is the benefit of the other…but is that really true?
    The crowd murmurs, confused.
    Ghetsis: We try to tell ourselves that we are only friends to the Pokemon that occupy our world, but are we not also infringing on their freedom, their individuality, their happiness? That is why I say to you, friends: the time has come for us to liberate your Pokemon from the shackles of human slavery! The time has come to release your Pokemon!
    The crowd gasps, talking even more excitedly.
    Old Man: Release my Pokemon? Is he mad?!
    Little Boy: I’d never let my Pokemon go! It’s my friend!
    Ghetsis: Silence! Silence! I have not come here to start a riot, but to preach my beliefs!
    ?: Well, your beliefs are a load of baloney!
    Ghetsis and his Team Plasma members look about for the source of the rude interruption. Through the crowd steps a girl about Jim’s age, dressed in a green T-shirt, jeans, and a white baseball cap, under which flows her blond ponytail. She sports a somewhat round stomach beneath her shirt, but is otherwise thin. At her side is an Oshawott, glaring at Ghetsis fiercely. Intrigued, Jim stares at this newcomer, as if entranced. Ghetsis looks at the girl with visible dislike.
    Ghetsis: Of course, we are prepared to take criticisms from the rabble, but we are steadfast in our resolve!
    ?: “Resolve”?? You’re telling us to release our Pokemon! The Pokemon we grew up with! The Pokemon we love as our family!
    Ghetsis: What would you understand, child? You are too young to understand.
    ?: I understand that you’re a hypocrite, old man! Let me see you release YOUR Pokemon! All of you Team Plasma jerks!
    Oshawott: * male voice * <Yes! Have a taste of your own medicine!>
    The crowd murmurs again.
    Woman: Yeah, why don’t THEY practice what they preach?
    Man: That one there must have two Poke Balls at his belt! The nerve of him telling US to release our Pokemon!
    Ghetsis: * enraged * SILENCE!!
    The crowd falls quiet.
    Ghetsis: You! Girl! Keep your mouth shut! You are utterly spoiling our campaign!
    ?: * tosses her ponytail defiantly, hands on hips * As if I care, Gramps…
    Ghetsis: Guards! Relieve this hot-headed brat of her Oshawott!
    The girl looks shocked, as if she never expected to hear that. Her Oshawott, however, doesn’t flinch. Removing the shell from his stomach, he brandishes it like a sword. A greenish blade of energy sprouts from it, scythe-shaped. Two Team Plasma soldiers take out Poke Balls and throw them. Out of them come a Purrloin and a Pokemon resembling a yellow and beige lizard with a large head topped with a little red crest, gritted white teeth, and what looks like very baggy pants it’s holding up. Jim refers to his Pokedex again.
    Pokedex: Purrloin, the Devious Pokemon. It uses its cute looks to charm those around it, and uses this ruse to steal from its victims. Scraggy, the Molting Pokemon. It protects itself from attacks by holding up its molted skin, and it headbutts everything it sees.
    Plasma Grunt 1: Purrloin, Fury Swipes!
    Plasma Grunt 2: Scraggy, Headbutt!
    The Purrloin lunges, claws outstretched, and the Scraggy launches itself like a missile, headfirst.
    ?: Oshawott, Razor Shell!
    Oshawott dashes at the two, negating their attacks and striking them with the blade made by his scalchop. The Purrloin and Scraggy go sprawling. But they get up again, angered.
    Plasma Grunt 1: Purrloin, Shadow Ball!
    Plasma Grunt 2: Scraggy, Focus Blast!
    Purrloin growls, and as it does, a black and purple energy ball appears in front of its mouth. At the same time, Scraggy cups its hands, and a blue ball of energy forms at its chest. Both release their attacks at Oshawott, who looks ready to defend. The blade disappears, and he holds up his scalchop like a shield. Suddenly, Jim dashes forward, Ivy at his side. The girl looks up, surprised.
    Jim: Ivy, deflect them with Vine Whip!
    Ivy’s vines snake out from her collar. They lash out and blast away the Shadow Ball, but the Focus Blast zips past too quickly for her. Fortunately, Oshawott’s scalchop causes the Focus Blast to ricochet off of it and into the sky. Everyone looks amazed, while Team Plasma looks horrified. The girl looks especially stunned, looking at Jim as if she had never seen anyone like him before.
    Jim: Where do you get off, attacking someone for making their opinions known? I think you’ve made your point, so get lost!
    Ghetsis: …You have spirit, young man…most commendable…As you wish, then. Good day to you, Accumula Town. We depart, but remember my words!
    The grunts recall their Purrloin and Scraggy. With a ring of guards surrounding Ghetsis as if protecting him, Team Plasma leaves to the northwest. The crowd disperses, still talking animatedly. The girl goes up to Jim.
    ?: What was THAT all about?
    Jim: Well, that’s a pretty funny way to thank someone who just saved your Pokemon.
    ?: YOU saved MY Pokemon? Don’t be silly! Your Snivy only did half the work.
    Jim: I still had the final word against them, didn’t I? Besides, I doubt your Oshawott could’ve blocked them both at once.
    ?: …Ok, I’ll give you that. * smiles * Thanks. Really.
    Jim: No problem. I’m Jim, Jim Stevens from Nuvema Town, and this is Ivy.
    He indicates Ivy, who stands beside him, fists on hips again. The girl can’t help but giggle.
    Leanne: Spunky little girl, aren’t you? * to Jim * I’m Leanne Summers, and this is Oshawott.
    Oshawott bows graciously.
    Jim: Wow. He acts like a Shakespearean hero.
    Leanne: Yeah, he’s pretty quirky, but he’s my best friend. I’ve had him since I was a little girl.
    As the humans talk, Oshawott tries to talk to Ivy.
    Oshawott: <Ah, fair Snivy, your beauty is only rivaled by your prowess in battle. You stopped that rogue’s Shadow Ball with ease!>
    Ivy: <I don’t need to be reminded what I already know.>
    Oshawott: <There is no need to be modest, oh fair one.>
    He grips her hand and kisses it. Glaring at him, Ivy slaps him across the face with her tail, flopping him onto his back. She huffs.
    Ivy: <Boys…>
    Leanne: So what brings you to our little town?
    Jim: I’m actually taking the Pokemon League challenge, so we plan to stay for the night and then head for Striaton City.
    Leanne: Oh, cool! Well, why don’t I show you and Ivy around?
    Jim: We’d like that, wouldn’t we, Ivy?
    Ivy: * climbs up onto Jim’s shoulder again * <Certainly.>
    Jim: Lead the way, Leanne.
    The three set off, followed closely by Leanne’s still groggy Oshawott.

    Y Rotation Team

  5. #5
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Jim's Unova Journey

    Yeah you have a lot to work on. First the whole fic is scripted, I mean that it all goes as if it was a script instead of a book. You're writing a story like a book so you have to add description to it, you have to describe what's happening to your characters, what they feel and what they do not just do half a line to summarize something that happens, not just that but you also need to space more since it seems to be a large block and you also have to work on your grammar.

  6. #6
    Registered User TPrower's Avatar
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    Apr 2011

    Default Re: Jim's Unova Journey

    Quote Originally Posted by Sky Flame Haze View Post
    Yeah you have a lot to work on. First the whole fic is scripted, I mean that it all goes as if it was a script instead of a book. You're writing a story like a book so you have to add description to it, you have to describe what's happening to your characters, what they feel and what they do not just do half a line to summarize something that happens, not just that but you also need to space more since it seems to be a large block and you also have to work on your grammar.
    I do see what you mean. Well, if it'll improve things, I'll rewrite it in an actual story format, since I know where I'm at now.

    Y Rotation Team


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