14th August 2012, 10:39 AM #1
Creator of Nathan Castle
The Hunger Games
OK guys, I'm back in the Writers' Workshop for another go at writing stories. This is also another chance to advertise for the Hunger Games RPG that I'm running, so join now.
Once again it was the day of the reaping. I stood in the huge pen fenced off by ropes awaiting to find out who would represent our District in the 128th annual Hunger Games. The story goes that a hundred and twenty eight years ago us Pokémon rebelled. We were fed up of being stuck in tiny capsules and doing the bidding of physically inferior humans. The rebellion didn't go well and now we are even worse. All Pokémon have been split into twelve districts, each with a specific purpose that we do to serve the humans, the majority of whom now live in the Capitol, a huge city far from here. I am a Snivy and so, as a Grass type I have been put in District Eleven which specialises in agriculture. My name is Snivy 451 but my friends call me Juliet.
A woman steps up to the platform, dressed in extravagant clothing. She has come to these reapings every year for as long as I can remember. On either side of her stand two huge glass balls, filled with slips of paper. On each of these is a name of a Pokémon from our region. In the left hand one, where the female Pokémons' names are kept, a slip with my name is contained.
"Oh no," a Budew next to me says as she smiled at us sunnily. "Here comes Samantha." Samantha started to talk, explaining as happily as it was possible to about the rebellion.
"And here we come to the reaping!" Samantha announced. "Ladies first..." she shuffles around in the glass ball on the left. "And the lucky winner is...Snivy 451!"
How was this happening? I walked through the crowd completely dazed. What were the chances of me being tribute? Maybe one in ten thousand? I leave the mass of Pokémon and am escorted by a squadron of white-uniformed Peacekeepers who made up a large proportion of the Capitol's "defence" force. I walked up the wooden steps up to the hastily erected platform where Samantha stood tall over me. She was quite pretty for a human, with blonde locks and brilliant white teeth. She was dressed in a white coat that was slightly speckled in mud from where she had been walking in the District. She must think us Pokémon very barbaric, with such little technology and simple ways.
"Hello, are you Snivy 451?" she asked in her patronising voice. I replied in the affirmative, my voice echoing in the cold courtyard, amplified by michrophones. Samantha went through a few other niceties before coming over to the male reaping ball.
"And the lucky winner is...Pansage 297!" I scanned the crowd for signs of whoever this "lucky winner" was. I saw a small green figure moving through the crowd. He was even smaller than me, hopefully an easy target. As he came up the steps Samantha once again engaged pleasantries.
"Let's give a hand for our two tributes, Pansage and Snivy!"
We were both hustled off the stage immediately and shoved in the back of a car unceremoniously. Samantha got in the front of the smooth black saloon and drove us off. I looked at the Pokémon that was going to be my opponent in the arena. I couldn't think of him as a friend now. He was my enemy and I might have to kill him. I had never met Pansage 297, the chances of that would have been even smaller than mine of being picked in the first place. I had seen quite a few Pansages out in the fields and they all looked bigger than this one. I decided to try to glean some information from him and so I took on a kind tone as I spoke to him.
"My name's Juliet," I began. "What's yours?"
"Sam," he replied. "My parents will be so upset when they find out what happened." Tears started to fill his eyes. He was pathetic, really. If I were him I'd be worried about my own survival, not how my parents would cope with four other sons to feed the family. I thought back to my own parents. They'd be fine without me, at the end of the day I was just a daughter to provide a dowry for. It would probably be easier not that I had gone to the Games. If I died my parents would get support from our friends. If I won, We'd get a huge house and plenty of food.
The car had arrived at the station where trains from the Capitol came and left, bringing building materials and taking the fruits of our labour during harvest time. I had never liked the Capitol much in my lifetime, but we had all come to accept that we'd never be free of them, not with their guns and missiles. And we were so separated from the other Districts they could isolate us easily and pick us off. The car rolled to a halt and we were hauled out by two white-clad Peacekeepers. They carried our unresisting bodies over to the trains behind Samantha. I let them manhandle me as after this, I'd be living in luxury up until I came into the arena. The twenty four tributes, two from each District, became celebrities once we entered the Capitol. They adored these cute or powerful creatures that they were sending to their deaths. It was ironic really, how much they loved us but hated our Districts. We were placed carefully down on the train and shown around to our appartments that we'd live in during the five day trip down to the Capitol.
I gasped in shock when Samantha opened the door of mine. In the centre was a huge bed, big enough for a human to sleep in comfortably. Around this lay shelves and desks of oak. There was a bathroom attached with a huge bath which I could easily swim in. I turned around to find the door shut behind me and leapt onto the bed. As I lay in it I felt a jerk as the train started to depart. I glanced out of my window, looking at the golden fields and bountiful orchards that sped past, knowing that I probably would not see them again
Last edited by BlazeMaster; 21st August 2012 at 01:17 PM.
14th August 2012, 12:17 PM #2
Rocking the Lucario
Re: The Hunger Games
So, the premise is an interesting one, and I'm definitely finding it interesting.
The main issue I see is the length. You want your chapters to be quite a bit longer. Even though this is just the beginning, you still want to set a solid foundation. Try using description, showing us instead of telling.
You could try to start off with the main character waking up, and showing their daily lives before the reaping. Especially in a game where people try to kill each other, characterization is important.
But at any rate, it's certainly an original idea, and one I look forward to seeing more of!
Made by Blue Dragon!
14th August 2012, 12:30 PM #3
Creator of Nathan Castle
Re: The Hunger Games
That won't be the length of the typical chapter. I just didn't have much time and wanted to make a start