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  1. #46
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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Five

    Thanks Winter :) And sorry for the delay! Hope you all enjoy this new part


    Chapter Six: Sandy in the Forest

    Alaska didn’t have any time to react: the screaming figure was coming straight for her, unable to control where she was going to land. Alaska only had a few seconds before impact, watching the wide eyed, feminine face coming flying towards her, along with shades of yellow and purple, and only one thought crossed her mind: Shit.

    The figure smashed into Alaska, who tried to turn and flee. The trainer too let out a cry as she was sent flying face forwards, the grass soaring up to meet her, several Caterpie fleeing for their lives as she got closer. The weight of the girl was already causing Alaska great pain, and was glad she at least had her backpack on to soften the pain.

    With a body shaking thud, Alaska smashed into the muddy ground. Her head whacked against the muddy floor, sending shooting pains right through her skull. The figure remained sprawled on Alaska’s back, forcing her to stay down on the ground, almost rubbing her head in the mud. Alaska let out a soft moan of pain, her back feeling like it had just shattered in two. She could barely feel her legs, and Alaska couldn’t help but wonder, like most people in this situation, if she would walk again.

    This is soooo painful… definitely the most pain I’ve ever felt… Alaska thought, trying to push her hands into the ground to lift her up. There was a shift in the weight on her back, accompanied by grunts and moans, and than sudden silence… the sort of silence right before something bad happens…

    “OOOOH MY GOOOOD!” Someone screamed loudly, sending Pidgey’s flying into the air.

    Alright, make that second most painful. Alaska winced as she felt her eardrums scream in protest, the shrill cry seeming to echo inside. However, the weight on her back dramatically lessened, and Alaska let out a great ‘oomph’ of relief.

    “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…” The voice continued to wail, and Alaska could hear the person running around on the spot, clearly frantic at the idea of possibly paralysing someone. Alaska wanted to get up and wring her neck to make her shut up, but was more focused on actually standing up first: now that the weight was off her back, she could feel her legs again. Alaska pushed her hands and arms hard on the ground, sending shooting pains through her body, and managed to lift her body up off the ground.

    “Excellent!” Alaska said with joy, and did her best to ignore the pain that was stabbing her back like knives and tried to get firmly to her feet. As she struggled with what should be a simple process, Alaska noticed it was suddenly quiet: the person who had landed on her was no longer wailing, and seemed to have frozen like a creature sensing its hunter.

    “I AM SOOOOOO SORRY!” The return of noise struck Alaska like a cannonball, and she had barely stood up straight before a pair of arms were wrapped around her, tightly squeezing on her already sore back. Alaska could feel her ribs being squeezed as well, and didn’t no anyone could hug so hard.

    “It’s fine, I barely feel a thing.” Alaska hissed through gritted teeth, fairly disgusted at the amount of hugging that was going on. She flexed her arms, signalling to let go, and the girl let go and moved backwards, looking very timid and nervous. Alaska could now see that the yellow she had seen before had been the girl’s hair: it seemed to be a mixture of blonde and brunette, reminding Alaska of the beaches near Pallet Town.

    “My name is Alexandra Samson, but everyone just calls me Sandy, cause of my hair.” The girl said quietly, crouched as if expecting to be hit or shouted at. Alaska thought this was odd, and began to examine the girl more closely. Sandy looked around Alaska’s age, and was roughly the same height and weight. Her skin looked almost pinkish, giving her a bubbly, young sort of look. Alaska also realised what the purple had been: Sandy was wearing a violent dress with silver white trimming, looking dazzling amongst the green and brown and almost as soft as silk. It flowed elegantly down to her feet, almost covering her purple and white trainers. A dark green satchel bag had fallen off when she fell, and Sandy was now cautiously picking it up. Whilst the dress was very pretty, Alaska was more interested in who this Sandy was, and why she had landed on her.

    “I’m Alaska Acevedo, started my journey only a few days ago.” Alaska said, doing her best to try and stare down at someone who was the same height as you. Sandy looked petrified, her bright green eyes wide in shock. “May I ask why you were up in a tree?” Alaska asked, and began to walk around Sandy, almost as if interrogating her.

    “I’m a new trainer as well: I only started my journey last week!” Sandy replied nervously, trying to force a smile upon her face. “I’m not use to being out on my own, and I let my Butterfree out to stretch her wings, not knowing what was in here. There was a strong gust of wind, and she disappeared up in those branches. I couldn’t bring her back into her PokeBall, so I decided to climb the tree to investigate.” Sandy finished explaining, and she smiled rather nervously.

    “You climbed a tree… in that dress?” Alaska asked curiously. She stared up at the tree: the branches weren’t particularly sturdy either, definitely not able to hold up a human.

    “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” Sandy shrugged. “I didn’t expect the branches to be so… brittle, I guess. Oh well, it was a rather fun experience!”

    “Not for me,” Alaska growled, and Sandy’s face went pinker as she blushed with embarrassment. The two stood in silence, not sure what to say to each other: Alaska would like to move on, yet she felt as if there was something being hidden from her. She was about to ask something else, when the sound of a twig snapping sounded around them. Sandy looked petrified, turning around as if expecting to see an axe murderer hiding behind the trees.

    “Don’t worry, it’s probably just a Pokemon.” Alaska said, looking around for the source of the noise.

    She didn’t expect the source to come flying at them.

    A cream coloured blur leapt suddenly out of one of the trees, shooting towards them like a rocket. Sandy let out a scream, and Alaska realised the blur was heading straight towards her. Without thinking, Alaska leapt forwards in front of the almost stranger, ready to take the full brunt of whatever this was. She wasn’t sure why she was doing it, but it seemed like the right thing to do. And moving made her realise something: the blur was in fact a Mankey.

    “Darwin!” Alaska gasped, and she stuck her arms out to block the Pokemon. Her Mankey smacked straight into her, causing her sore back and head even more pain as her entire body was shuddered. But Darwin didn’t stop there: practically ignoring his trainer, he tried to leap over towards Sandy, his claws glowing.

    “MAN MAN MAN!” He screeched, and Sandy leapt backwards in fright.

    “Darwin, what do you think your doing?” Alaska scolded, trying to grab the squirming Mankey and hold him still. Darwin ignored her, continuing to screech ‘MAN’ and try and get to Sandy. “Why are you so angry at her, what did she do to you?” Alaska snapped, and a wave of realisation came over her. “Are you angry at her because she landed on me?” Darwin paused for a moment and stared at Alaska, realising he had been caught out.

    “Mankey Man Man.” He replied huffily, and glared angrily at Sandy over her shoulder.

    “It’s alright, I’m not that annoyed with her.” Alaska chuckled, and Sandy let out an awkward laugh as she backed nervously away. Darwin relaxed now, but he still stared angrily at Sandy as Alaska put him down. She was feeling much better now: it seemed Sandy felt even more guilty now, and it had been good to see how much her Pokemon cared for her. Besides, Alaska wasn’t the sort of person to deny having her ego stroked.

    “Why don’t you climb up here and look for Butterfree?” Alaska suggested. Darwin, who was still looking like he’d like to hit Sandy, nodded, and leapt towards the tree Sandy had just fallen from.

    “Y-you really mean it?” Sandy appeared at Alaska’s side as Darwin disappeared through the leaves. “You’re not annoyed with me?” Alaska had only said that to please Darwin, not wanting him to attack the girl, but she shrugged and nodded.

    “I guess so: I don’t feel sore anymore and I’m not the sort to hold grudges… well, I do hold plenty of grudges, but that’s besides the point! I don’t have a grudge with you.” Alaska finished with a nod, satisfied with the answer. Sandy froze for a second, letting the words wash over her, and suddenly let out a scream of delight.

    “Oh my god, that’s so awesome of you!” She screeched, her face lit up like a Christmas tree. Before Alaska could react, Sandy rushed forwards and hugged her once again. She was beaming brightly and her sad eyes were now wide and cheerful. Alaska felt another pang of pain in her back, and wanted nothing more than to push Sandy far away from her.

    “I’m so glad you’re not upset: I can’t handle it when people are mad with me!” Sandy giggled excitedly, and leapt backwards in a dance-like motion. Alaska just smiled and nodded, struggling not to make some catty remark about how she’d much like to throw something at her.
    Alaska was saved by a sudden, thunderous snapping sound: a huge tree branch from the tree Darwin had gone up was sent flying above their heads, and Sandy let out a scream and jumped into a hug with Alaska, avoiding the branch as it crashed into the ground behind her.

    “What’s going on?” She wailed, as Alaska subtly moved her foot out from under Sandy’s.

    “I think I have an idea…” Alaska mumbled grouchily, and her suspicions were confirmed moments later: Darwin appeared out of the green, his long arms wrapped tightly around something as he swirled around in mid-air. The mixed ball of blurred colours was heading fast towards the ground, causing Sandy to scream once more.

    “Fr… Terrr….. Fr….” As Alaska whipped out Darwin’s PokeBall to bring him back, a grunt came from the direction of the Mankey, but Alaska knew it couldn’t be him: there was only one possible Pokemon, and knew this wouldn’t end well for Darwin.

    “FREEEEE!” A burst of wind suddenly came from the blur, and Darwin was sent flying as the Gust sent leaves flying into the sky. Alaska shoved Sandy, who was screamed once again, out of the way and grabbed hold of Darwin as he came past, the force nearly sending her rolling backwards.

    “MANKEY MAN MAN MAN!” Darwin wailed, flailing his limbs around as he tried to free himself. High above them, Sandy’s Butterfree glared down at Darwin as the sun reflected beautifully off her wings: Alaska temporarily forgot about her fidgeting Pokemon as she became lost in this truly beautiful sight, the shimmering silver-white light almost lighting up the area.

    “Butterfreeeee Freeeee!” Butterfree called down in a dazzlingly sweet voice, but her huge pink, bug-like eyes were glaring down at Darwin, clearly not too happy with being attacked.

    “I think you… need to… calm … down!” Alaska grunted, struggling to get control of Darwin long enough to bring him back: finally, after nearly two minutes, she was finally able to twist the PokeBall around and bring him back inside. She paused, panting from the effort to control him.

    “He seems a bit… violent.” Sandy said nervously. Her Butterfree had floated down, and the two were still embraced in their hug. Alaska simply nodded, her mind racing: why had Darwin acted that way? Was he really that angry with Sandy he lashed out at her Pokemon? Or maybe, like Alaska, he was also getting bored of the forest… it Alaska want to get out of this green and brown prison even quicker, desperate to find some decent trainers.

    “I’d better find a Pokemon Center, get him checked out.” Alaska said, and grabbed her black bag up from the ground, everything ready for her to head off.

    “Oh, of course, I understand.” Sandy said, not able to keep the sadness out of her voice. Alaska had been ready to head off but paused, surprised to hear how upset she was. Her Butterfree looked rather upset as well, and Alaska figured they must have the same problem with finding good trainers.

    “Well…” Alaska said through an irritated sigh: she knew she’d regret this delay later, but she felt rather bad about running off like this. “We could have a quick battle before you go, if you want…” Sandy’s emotions changed as if a switch had been flicked: her eyes and smile lit up again, and she and Butterfree exchanged big beams.

    “That would be soooo perfect, I’ve been dying to find a good trainer for ages!” Sandy said quickly, and she and Butterfree moved further down the field they were in, jabbering delightedly away. Alaska simply smiled as she pulled Paige’s PokeBall out and put the bag down: having another battle wouldn’t be too bad, especially as Paige would now be up against a fully evolved Pokemon!

    It would make the win that much greater.

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

  2. #47
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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Five

    Cool. Kinda iffy on the chicks pretty girly personality, but meh, if it fits the story purposes I can deal. One thing though; you used the work pain, and variations of the same word, a lot in the beginning. Maybe switch those up, as a lot of them were in sentences right after another. Agony, hurt, etc.
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    Moderator AceTrainer14's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Five

    Thanks for the advice! I sometimes notice when I use the same word too much, other times I don't. I'll try to use more variety in the next chapter :)

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Six

    HOW TO CONQUER KANTO IN EIGHT EASY STEPS

    Part One: Prologue

    Heard 'bout'chu these yonder parts called dat Writa's Workshop, eh. Been meanin'ta check yous out, buddy, so I's gonna do dat now, eh?

    *shot*

    LET THE REVIEW BEGIN!

    The island region of Chrono Island had been shaken to it’s
    The ever-confusing exception to the rule of possessives! It's is a contraction of it and is, and unfortunately nothing else. Its is the possessive form. So it's isn't it. Its is it. :p

    Once the other two had defeated
    Grammatical incorrectness alert! In between “had” and “defeated” should be a “been”.

    the police were no closer to discovering who this figures where.
    The infamous where or were! They can mean the same thing, but they're different tenses. You're looking for the past tense were.

    The warehouse used to be a grey-blue, two storeys
    Oh god I am sorry. Really gonna sound like a jackass here, and I don't mean to, but ROFL. Wow. That's a new misspelling. I have never seen that before... you're looking for stories.

    It had been used to house supplies that went to Kanto, mainly stuff for the Celadon Game Corner, who ordered a lot of supplies from here.
    Overall, this sentence feels wrong. First of all, you state that the supplies ordered were mainly for the Celadon Game Corner. That puts in our mind the image that they ordered a lot of them. Then you go and state it. It's redundant, but more of a nitpick, but if you must keep it like this, change “who” to “which”. Who would make Celadon Game Corner a person, which it is obviously not. I'd still say just remove the “who orderd a lot of supplies from here”.

    Residents of Five Island were curious by this,
    made curious

    The wooden frame was black from the flames, and if the warehouse would be rebuilt, it would have to be knocked down and have a new frame.
    Captain Nitpick to the rescue again! “have a new frame” is also a bit redundant since you stated earlier that the frame was pretty much screwed up. “have a new one” would work so much better.

    “Yes sir?” He asked chirpily.
    HOOOOO-BOY.

    Seems I've got some 'splainin' to do, Lucy.

    Dialogue is a funny thing that most authors don't seem to understand right. It's okay. I didn't either 'till I was told, and then I felt like an idiot when I looked back at all the books I'd ever read and saw it.

    RULES OF DIALOGUE

    • Dialogue is ALWAYS with the appropriate punctuation. A question in a question mark. An exclamation in an exclamation period. But if it's a period that suits it, use a comma. Except for one exception, item number three on this list.
    • When dialogue finishes, there's the possibility of following it with a title: he, she, it, the, etc. When this is the case, you leave the title lowercase. Unless it's the case below. (Example: “Hi, my name's Ian,” the boy said. He lifted up a hand and waved happily, his eyes shining with excitement.)
    • When dialogue finishes, there's always the possibility of following it with a full sentence, something that can stand on its own. If this is the case, you end the dialogue with a period and you capitalize the following word. (Example: “Hi, my name's Ian.” The boy lifted up a hand and waved happily, his eyes shining with excitement.)


    “Yes sir?” He asked chirpily.
    So the H here needs to be an h.

    “I think we should wrap up here for the night. We are losing light here, and I don’t think we can look through black ash in the dark.” The detective explained.
    The period after dark needs to be a comma, and the T in The needs to be a t.

    “Err… you and Wilson guard, and I’ll get some other people to help and take over.” Arthur said,
    shit. I forgot one thing about dialogue! Stupid Ian. If the dialogue is followed by a NAME, like Arthur, the name stays capitalized, but the normal rules for punctuation at the end of the dialogue itself still goes. So the period here needs to be a comma.

    the mans private office
    Probably an oversight. :p Just gonna explain to be sure. Add an apostrophe to mans, because mans isn't even a word on its own. It has to be possessive, thus the apostrophe, or it just doesn't work

    “No no no!” The man hissed,
    T = t.


    I really like this. It's got an interesting premise. Gideon is the mad scientist type, forever loyal to his boss. I also like Arthur: wise old police officer type! I do hope we get to see more of him.

    I'll read and review more a little later on today. Only reason I'm not continuing now is because I have other things I need to do: really hard not to just forget 'em and read on. ;-;
    - Ian


    Thanks to ShinySandshrew of serebiiforums for the banner!

  5. #50
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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Six

    Well, all the grammar mistakes have already been pointed out ^, so I'm going to do plot, flow, and characterization.
    Plot.
    Not a very actiony chapter, which some authors can make a mess of. You, on the other hand, have done AWESOME with this one. I mean, othrer than a girl falling out of a tree, it was a bit passive, but the way you write it makes it so connected to the plot that it seems like this girl will become amajor player in the future! It was an outstanding move of yours, and I am nothing if not impressed!

    Flow
    Again, you're doing great. I don't notice many, if any, choppy moments. Each scene seems to come fluidly into the next, with no sudden breaks.

    Characterization
    But this is where you shine in this chapter. Honestly, I didn't think it was possible for you to put so much in! I mean, for a start, Alaska just became far more pragmatic, tough, etc., etc. Sandy, on the other hand, is dramatic. You've done excellently!

    Great job so far, and I can't wait to see the next chapter!

    Made by Blue Dragon!

  6. #51
    Moderator AceTrainer14's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Six

    Thanks for the feedback guys :) I'm very glad you enjoyed enjoyed Sandy Thundagere, and don't worry, there will be more of her once we leave Viridian Forest ;)
    I don't really care that much about having perfect grammar. My grammar in a single storie is never going to be spot on excellent, and I've seen many books that have had major mistakes in them. Whilst I appreciate the effort, I'd rather recieve feedback on those things than grammar: I usually end up editing it anyway when I read back over it, and have fixed most of those issues already.

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Six

    HOW TO CONQUER KANTO IN EIGHT EASY STEPS

    Part Two: Blog One: Introduction

    I love Alaska. She's snide and smart-alecky, which is always something I love in characters.

    back in 2007, this guy called Red began the champion of the Kanto Pokemon League
    Assuming you mean became?

    but “Reaf” and “Led” don’t really sell magazines, do they?

    BUAHAHAHA.


    Part Three: Chapter One: One Step Forwards

    fuelled her feet.
    fueled*

    which has a blue Silph Co logo on the back.
    Tense error! This is written in past tense, so the “has” should be the past tense “had”.

    Okay, no more errors besides the whole dialogue thing in there, which I get that I would be wasting my time to point out.

    But there is another thing with dialogue that you could use some work on; so many people think that the word “said” is an unforgivable sin. You use it maybe three times over the course of the chapter, while the rest of dialogue was filled with spiced up synonyms. “said” is not a sin. Use it more; the synonyms are good when used sparsely, but think of them... well, like a spice. Give food a thin coating of it, and the food tastes great. Pour the whole damn bottle over it, and you're going to spit that food right back out.

    You can also cut out the dialogue tags sometimes.

    Example: Ian looked at Ace and smiled widely, waving with obvious excitement. “Hi, I'm Ian!”

    I repeat, I really like Alaska. She's got her tough, snarky internet side, while she's got her excitable real life side. She's close-knit with Paige, whom I also love. Paige has a real believable personality. Very good chapter, and I'll continue reviewing later.

    - Ian


    Thanks to ShinySandshrew of serebiiforums for the banner!

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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Six

    Thanks for the feedback :) I prefer using other words thsn said, not because I see it as a sin, but it's just really really boring. Anyone can be saying something, but I prefer to show their emotions if they growl, shout, sigh etc. But I see your point and I'll look into it for future chapters :)

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

  9. #54
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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Six

    Been a while since I checked in on Alaska's journey, but I can say I LOVE Darwin, he is just too funny! You did very well fleshing him out and bringing him to life.
    My URPG stats: Maya's status

    SuBuWriMo status: 28,103 words in all!

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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Six

    Aye, I'd agree with the poster above. Yours is one of the only fics I've EVER seen--and I've seen hundreds--that gives some emotion to the Pokémon.

    Made by Blue Dragon!

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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Six

    Chapter Seven: A Battle of Wits and Wings

    A strong gust of wind had started over the past few minutes, but Alaska and Sandy hadn’t noticed it in the drama that had unfolded. But now it made their battle setting even more dramatic: the trees whistled and creaked ominously, whilst leaves, blades of grass and sticks went flying across the field they had created. The grass was rippling softly, but this battle was taking place in the air, and Alaska was ready for it. She could imagine dramatic music playing in the background, a sort of hard rock anthem her father use to listen to, turning their friendly battle into a violent, near deadly match.

    “Ooooh, this wind is very dramatic, isn’t it?” Sandy said as she clutched at her dress, and Alaska scowled and grouchily rolled her yes.

    “Well it was a moment ago! By pointing it out, you’ve killed it!” She sighed, and Sandy and Butterfree exchanged a rather sad look. “The moment’s ruined, let’s just get on with it! GO PAIGE!” Alaska shouted, and threw the PokeBall into the sky. Butterfree floated forwards as the red energy quickly formed together, and Alaska’s Pidgey appeared, instantly glaring towards her new opponent and ready to battle. Alaska felt a tinge of excitement as the tense scene reformed, the two flying types glaring across at each other: finally, a battle that could actually be a challenge!

    “I’ll kick things off!” She shouted. “Quick Attack go!” Paige nodded, and suddenly shot forwards at an alarming speed. Sandy didn’t look worried though, simply watching as Paige sped forwards with beady eyes.

    “PoisonPowder as soon as she hits you,” She called out, much calmer than Alaska. Alaska was rather surprised that she was still using her usual airy nature for battling: she had hoped to see a much tougher, stronger side to her now. Instead, the two watched as Paige smashed into Butterfree, who flapped her wings furiously to stop herself from flying backwards. The silvery white wings suddenly turned a rich purple, and with a single waving motion, purple particles were released.

    “Pidge!” Paige squawked as the particles landed on her feathers before she could get away. Her entire body glowed purple, and she fell several feet through the air, recovering just in time to avoid colliding with the ground.

    “Poisoning…” Alaska mumbled bitterly. “Clever move.” Sandy simply smiled back, and Paige angrily flew back into the air, flapping her wings furiously to show her anger. Alaska wanted to win even more now, and only had a few moves left to do so.

    “Gust!” She shouted.

    “Confusion,” Sandy called back. Paige flapped her wings vigorously, and the strong wind flowing through the forest was sent crashing directly into Butterfree, battering her with airborne leaves and sticks.

    “Free Free!” Butterfree whimpered as she spiralled around, and fluttered her wings to hold herself in place. Than she stared fixatedly at Paige, her large eyes glowing an eerie pink. Alaska wondered what was going on when Paige was suddenly sent flying backwards, nearly crashing into her. As she halted herself and glowed the poisonous purple, Alaska noticed that was moving in a rather odd manner, cross eyed and grinning stupidly.

    “Poisoned and confused,” Alaska growled at Sandy, though she couldn’t help but smile as well. “You sure know your statuses, don’t you?” And Sandy simply giggled and winked, and Butterfree did so too. Alaska was even more desperate to win now and triumph over these two setbacks.

    “Sand Attack!” She cried.

    “You use your Gust!” Sandy said. Paige dived towards the ground, a determined look in her eye, and Alaska thought for a second that she was conquering the confusion already. But Paige didn’t pull up from the dive: Alaska shut her eyes as her Pidgey smashed into the ground with a sickening thud. Butterfree smiled as she flapped her eyes, causing a strong burst of wind that rival that of Paige’s. Alaska watched as Paige was sent spiralling into the air, wailing loudly with displeasure at the treatment.

    “QUICK ATTACK!” Alaska shouted, beginning to get worried about her fate, and smiled as Paige burst free of the gust and smashed straight into Butterfree’s head. The two went crashing towards the ground, and Sandy gasped in shock as Butterfree crash landed in the same spot Paige had.

    “Gust again!” She wailed. Butterfree rose up, looking pained, and flapped her wings quickly, but Paige easily soared above the wind, smiling down at the Butterfly Pokemon.

    “That’ll be Tangled Feet,” Alaska called out with a smile. “When confused, it’s much easier for Paige to evade attacks even if she may hurt herself sometimes!” Sandy was looking rather shocked now, and Alaska was glad to have the upper hand again. “Steel Wing, NOW!”

    “Confusion!” Sandy said, and clutched her dark green satchel worriedly.

    “Pidge Pidge!” Paige chirped, and flew forwards with a glowing silver wing. Butterfree continued to rise up, still looking pained, but she swerved as soon as Paige approached, leading to the Tiny Bird Pokemon to crash into a tree at the edge. Butterfree’s eyes glowed pink again, and Paige shot backwards, smashing into the ground.

    “Butterfree’s Compoundeyes might just counteract Tangled Feet,” Sandy said, breathing deeply and looking rather faint. “This is really getting intense, isn’t it?” Alaska merely grunted back, and watched as Paige rose slowly from the grass: it was quite clear she was close to fainting, with bent wings and a flustered look to her wings. Despite Sandy’s apparent excitement about the thrilling match, Alaska knew it was coming close to ending. Butterfree was looking equally as sore, and both Pokemon were moving their wings with a lot less power and anger than they had before. The next move would decide the match, and Alaska could see Sandy had worked this out as well: it was time to end it.

    “Gust!” Both girls exclaimed at the same time. Paige and Butterfree acted instantly and simultaneously: both gave a powerful flap of their wings, and two bursts of wind went hurtling towards each other. The effect was too be expected: the opposite forces collided, releasing a cold, windy shock wave that sent both Pokemon twisting around in a spiral. Alaska cried out as her red shirt and jeans fluttered, and Sandy had to clutch her dress frantically to stop it shooting up. It was impossible to tell who was going to win.

    Than, with a single movement, it was over.

    Alaska and Sandy watched as the wind suddenly faded, leaving things very still, very quiet and very dramatic. For a moment, Paige and Butterfree remained airborne, looking strange as they simply hovered there. Than the two Pokemon tipped backwards, hurtling back through the leaves and branches, falling dramatically towards them. Alaska couldn’t contain herself, and she rushed forwards, catching Paige before she hit the ground. There was an ‘oomph’ from besides her, and it was clear Sandy had saved Butterfree as well.

    There was silence asides from heavy breathing for a moment. Alaska looked down and saw that Paige had fainted: she was squirming in a feeble manner, giving Alaska a rather grouchy look as if it was her fault Butterfree had used those moves, but still hadn’t fainted. Alaska was glad her best friend hadn’t been too badly injured, and she pulled a Potion and an Antidote out of her bag.

    “MY GOSH that was exciting!” Sandy boomed from next to her, and Alaska shot her a look as she sprayed Paige with the healing liquids. Sandy was doing the same to Butterfree, and was wearing her same cheery smile. “That was SUCH an exciting battle, I can’t believe how much fun it was! I’m surprised my socks haven’t been blown off,” and she let out a loud, carrying laugh. Alaska was agitated about her irritating loudness, but did have to agree it had been her most exciting battle since she had started her journey.

    “Thanks for that, I did enjoy it,” Alaska said once she had drained the two bottles: Paige fluttered up into the air, flexing her wings and fluttering around Butterfree, who remained more calm and sensible than her feathered rival.

    “I really look forward to battling you again!” Sandy said, smiling and nodding. “And hopefully it won’t be a draw next time!” Alaska nodded, and put her arm out for Paige to land on, finally feeling like her battling needs were satisfied. However, Paige didn’t land. Confused, Alaska looked up and saw Paige was staring directly overhead, moving her wings slowly and with a glare in her eyes.

    “Paige, what’s wrong?” Alaska asked, and turned her head slowly.

    She felt like she’d been slapped.

    Chloe Carmichael was standing directly behind her, today wearing a bright blue blouse and a denim skirt. She was wearing her usual smirk, the wind tossing her hair around and making her look very model like. Damian and Lachlan were standing behind her, staring at Alaska and Sandy but not with the same vigour and anger that Chloe had in her eyes.

    “What do you want?” Alaska hissed, ignoring Sandy as she peered around her. Her blood was beginning to boil, and could feel her elation about the great battle seeping away as Chloe continued to stand there, her nasty little smile making Alaska want to scream.

    “I still haven’t gotten over that loss,” Chloe replied, her voice fill with acid despite her smile, and pulled a PokeBall out of her pocket. “I hope your Raticate with wings hasn’t had too much of a hard time: I want my revenge, and I want it now!”

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

  12. #57
    Virbank Gym Leader WinterVines's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Seven

    I just hate that, right when you're having a great day, someone or something comes along and just spoils it. Good to relate to though. I hope she gets thrashed again on camera. That'll teach her for being a jerk.
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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Seven

    I must say, aside from the myriad of grammatical errors, I really like this fanfiction! You personify all the characters with unique quirks and emotion! I'll look forward to seeing more! Paige especially catches my eye!
    Just a small speck of life in the wondrous, mystical enormity of the cosmos...Eelektross salute!

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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Seven

    Thanks for the feedback guys! Look out for Chapter Eight hopefully being released next week

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

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    Default Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter Seven

    Chapter Eight: Revenge is Best Served in a Double Course

    Alaska rose an eyebrow, and a sceptical look appeared on her face as silence fell between them, broken only by the fluttering of Paige’s wings as she continued to hover overhead, ready to strike at the next opportunity. Alaska simply stared into her mortal enemies face, wondering what motivation she had for wanting a rematch: the last one was so quick and embarrassing that it was curious as too why she wanted to go down the same path again.

    “So, are you going to battle me or not?” Chloe snapped, brandishing the PokeBall around. “You’re not scared, are you?” She added with a smirk.

    “Me, scared?” Alaska scoffed and burst out laughing. “Don’t be so stupid… oh wait, then you’d have to die, wouldn’t you?” She finished in a slow voice, and Chloe’s eyes widened in shock at the jibe. Paige twittered next to Alaska’s head, finally landing as the two exchanged a wing-to-hand high five, and Chloe glared towards her until another laugh sounded behind her: Lachlan quickly stifled it, but not before Chloe shot him a threatening look. Alaska laughed, and was rather glad to see Chloe’s plan to best her was failing. As her nemesis looked back around, Damian glanced over at Alaska, who saw her laughing, and smiled and gave her a wink. Alaska was rather surprised about this, especially as she felt a sensation occur in her stomach that seemed to rush through her body.

    “I have a new Pokemon now,” Chloe explained quickly, with the air of trying to cover up what had just happened. “and I’ve got more experience now through the show! I want Bulbasaur to take you on again, you and that weird thing you call a Pokemon, so he knows what a great Pokemon he is!”

    “PIDGEY PIDGE!” Paige squawked angrily and soared off Alaska’s shoulder, diving straight towards Chloe’s chest. Alaska quickly grabbed and restrained her, though it was a rather difficult job as she got smacked in the face with an angry wing, having to spit the feathers out.

    “Your Pidgey is very funny!” Alaska turned, and had literally forgotten Sandy was there: the blonde girl was chortling to herself, whilst Butterfree giggled into her miniscule hands along side.

    “And who are you, exactly?” Chloe hissed rudely, still clutching her PokeBall as if she was about to throw it. Sandy stopped laughing, and Alaska thought for a moment she had been offended. However, she was left rather surprised as Sandy walked determinedly forwards, her happy face turning to a cross between a snarl and a pout.

    “My name is Sandy, and I don’t like you,” She huffed, sounding as if she was talking to a disgusting little animal, but Chloe simply scoffed. Alaska smirked as she continued to restrain Paige, who was now pecking grumpily at her hands, and was rather impressed with how Sandy was staring Chloe down. “If you don’t want to battle her Alaska, I’d gladly take on this little madam!” Sandy added in a slightly vicious tone.

    “EXCUSE ME!” Chloe bellowed, her jaw dropping comically as Alaska let go of Paige, doubling over and roaring with laughter. Paige didn’t attack Chloe though: she was laughing as well, and collapsed to the grassy ground as she emitted squawk-like chuckles. Behind them, Damian and Lachlan were failing to stifle their giggles, and Chloe let out an angry growl as she stared around at all those laughing at her.

    “I’ll take you both on!” She shouted, and raised her PokeBall as if ti was a grenade, but Alaska ignored her, trying hard not to join Paige on the ground.

    “Chloe, you can’t take two of them on!” Damian said as he stepped forwards, managing to keep his smirk under control.

    “You’d get smashed,” Lachlan said rather bluntly, not doing as good of a job. “If you want to battle so badly, I’d gladly join you. That is,” He added, glancing at the other two girls, “if these two want to, of course.” Alaska stopped laughing and stood up straight, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. She looked at Paige, who was still chortling as she rose into the sky, and at Sandy, who was having a glaring contest with Chloe. Alaska did want to battle Chloe again: she had gone on this journey because of her and the reality show, and wasn’t going to back down from an opportunity to prove herself to them. A tag battle would make victory that much sweeter, double smiting the reality show.

    “I’m game if you are,” Alaska said to Sandy as Butterfree joined Paige in floating in the sky. Sandy whipped her head around to nod at Alaska, and than turned back to continuing staring at Chloe, accidentally giving Alaska a mouthful of blonde hair. Damian and Lachlan smiled, but Chloe merely bared her pearly white teeth and hissed at them.

    “Perfect, I’ll go see if the cameramen want to film this,” Damian said, and he turned and began walking off, and Alaska was temporarily distracted by the tight fitting jeans and the long sand-coloured hair…

    “Pidge!” Paige squawked, whacking Alaska around the head.

    “Ow!” Alaska grumbled. “Alright, sorry!” She said, and she and Sandy began to walk backwards, creating the battlefield. Alaska had an idea of how to battle, and gave Sandy a look to show she had a plan. Lachlan and Chloe didn’t look like they’d be putting their heads together: Lachlan struggled to extract his PokeBall from his pocket, and Chloe was simply staring viciously at them, and Alaska wondered if she hoped laser beams would shoot out and hit the pair.

    “I don’t have time to wait for cameramen!” Chloe barked, and she threw her PokeBall to the ground: a burst of light later and her Bulbasaur had formed on the grassy plain, looking to the skies and glaring at Paige, who brandished a clenched wing back at him.

    “What!” Sandy gasped, looking at Alaska with her more normal gobsmacked expression. “But we need to plan, I can’t just go running blindly into this battle!”

    “I know,” Alaska sighed, shooting Chloe a quick glare. “We’ll have to just follow my lead and hope it pays off,” and Sandy nodded, looking rather grave.

    “AH HA!” Lachlan exclaimed, having finally found his PokeBall, and he threw it to the ground. Bulbasaur glanced over as Squirtle formed, and Alaska noted that it actually looked a bit bigger than it had at the Trainer’s House: it had obviously grown more than Bulbasaur had.

    “Time to wipe the floor with these fools!” Chloe shouted. “Tackle on Pidgey!”

    “We’ll use Tackle on Butterfree then!” Lachlan called. Paige and Butterfree reacted instantly, swerving to become back-to-back as Bulbasaur and Squirtle soared past them, tackling right into the ground instead of hitting them, rolling through the grass and stopping a metre away from Alaska’s feet. Alaska was quick to look at the situation: Chloe and Lachlan weren’t working together properly, same the same moves but on different opponents. The two were weaker than Paige and Butterfree, one who had been training for several years and one was fully evolved. In order to win, Alaska would have to counter their strategy with proper teamwork.

    “Use Gust!” Alaska cried. “You use it too!” She whispered to Sandy.

    “Gust as well,” Sandy mimicked, “on...” She continued, but Alaska shook her head. Both flying types flapped their wings furiously, and their combined usage unleashed a powerful burst of wind: it struck Bulbasaur and Squirtle as they lay in a heap, causing the two to be blasted apart to opposite trees.

    “You wanted to separate them, nice job!” Sandy said with a smile, and Alaska mockingly curtseyed as she smiled back: she knew what to do now, and would have won the match by the end of the next move.

    “Now, you use a bug move on Bulbasaur, and just trust what I do next,” she explained, and Sandy nodded in agreement. Chloe looked furious, and Lachlan simply looked shocked at the swift separation. Alaska smirked: if they thought that shocking, they hadn’t seen anything yet.”

    “Bug Bite on Bulbasaur!” Sandy called.

    “Use Gust on Butterfree!” Alaska shouted, and Sandy gasped, looking thunderstruck. “I told you, trust me!” Alaska reassured, hoping herself her plan worked, and Sandy nodded nervously.

    “Turning on your teammates?” Chloe laughed, now looking livid with excitement. “Well, I don’t think that strategy is going to work very well: Vine Whip on Butterfree!”

    “Errr…” Lachlan mumbled, thrown off by Alaska’s strategy. “Bubble on Pidgey!” Alaska simply smiled, knowing they’d be too late. Butterfree was already moving, diving towards Bulbasaur with her mouth glowing lime green.

    “Pidgey Pidgey Pidge!” Paige exclaimed and flapped her wings quickly: the wind struck Butterfree, and her eyes bulged as she suddenly sped up due to the strong burst striking her wings. Sandy and Chloe gasped as Butterfree rocketed towards Bulbasaur before he could even get his vine fully out.

    “Freeee!” She yelled, and smashed into his head due to the force of the Gust. The strong wind was enough to lift the two up, and as the loose Vine Whip came around Butterfree chomped down onto it.

    “BULB!” Bulbasaur yelled as Butterfree spun and tossed him towards a tree. Chloe watched as Bulbasaur smacked into the trunk and landed unconscious at the bottom, his vine lying pathetically alongside. Alaska’s face lit up with delight, and Sandy clutched her chest, breathing a sigh of relief: they were so happy they didn’t notice Squirtle firing a series of Bubbles at Paige, who merely glared down at the blue turtle.

    “That was a brilliant strategy!” Sandy squealed.

    “Of course it was,” Alaska said with a smile, and looked towards their opponents, eagerly awaiting their shock and horror: Chloe’s jaw had dropped to nearly below her neck, not bothering to bring Bulbasaur back, simply staring at him with a look liked she just been punched.

    “Squirtle… um… use….” Lachlan was thrown off by his team-mates defeat, and his cheeky attitude had failed him as he tried to think of a counter attack. “Water Pulse!” He said at last, clearly trying to use the most powerful move Squirtle could use.

    “Water Pulse, interesting…” Alaska murmured: she hadn’t expected Squirtle to know a move like this, though she figured the reality stars got Technical Machines as prizes for whatever they did when she wasn’t defeating them.

    “SQUIRT!” Squirtle bellowed as loudly as he could, and a ball of water that had formed in his mouth seemingly shattered, the cry releasing shock waves of water that soared into the sky, with no clear target in sight.

    “Butterfree needs to destroy the pulse somehow,” Alaska explained. Sandy nodded, determined as Alaska was to end this battle now.

    “Confusion on the Water Pulse, sent it back to Squirtle!” She shouted, and Alaska beamed in approval at this strategy, leaving things open for her to end it.

    “Paige, use Steel Wing as soon as the Water Pulse hits him!” She ordered.

    “Freee!” Butterfree cried, her eyes flashing pink. The pulses instantly dispelled, turning from circular rings into large droplets that went careering back to Squirtle. As soon as they struck, covering him in water, Paige’s wings glowed a shining silver and shot towards Squirtle, Lachlan’s jaw dropping in shock.

    “PIDGE!” Paige yelled as she smashed into the water starters stomach.

    “SQUIRTLE!” He wailed in pain and spun through the air, smacking into a tree opposite from Bulbasaur and landing unconscious on the forest floor: the battle was over.

    “YES!” Alaska shouted, leaping up in joy. Sandy let out a squeal of delight and wrapped her arms around Alaska, who didn’t bother to shake her off: once again she had defeated Chloe, bringing the reality stars down to size, and her elation was unstoppable.

    “That was brilliant!” Sandy said excitedly, letting go and hugging Butterfree instead, dancing around, and Alaska wondered how many battles her partner had won. But the thought left her as Paige fluttered down, smiling widely and happily.

    “You were amazing, that last Steel Wing was perfect!” Alaska praised.

    “Pidgey Pidge!” Paige called back, and Alaska smiled warmly. The four of them glanced towards their opponents, hoping for good reactions: Lachlan sighed as he brought Squirtle back, but Chloe looked furious, glaring between her PokeBall containing the unconscious Bulbasaur and Alaska and Sandy, who exchanged beams.

    “This isn’t over!” Chloe hissed, clutching the ball like a grenade.

    “Really,” Alaska said curiously, “because the Pokemon aren’t fighting anymore: that usually means the battle’s finished: Chloe made a growling sound as Sandy laughed and made to lunge forwards, but Lachlan grabbed her arm.

    “I feel so good right now, I can’t help it!” Sandy giggled quietly and Alaska laughed.

    “Don’t worry about it: joy is a wondrous feeling, especially after bringing a bitch down to size!” Alaska laughed loudly, and Chloe let out an angry scream as Paige and Butterfree laughed. Alaska didn’t care as Chloe charged forwards: she had won against two of the reality stars, and her elation couldn’t be stopped. But as Chloe got near her, a furious look on her face and a hand raised, a yell suddenly echoed around them. All six of them froze, looking around for the source of the noise: it had been loud and full of fear, and they could clearly tell it had been a male.

    “Damian!” Lachlan gasped, and Alaska’s happiness quickly faded: she was not close to either Damian or Lachlan, having only met them twice, but the fear-stricken yell was worrying in this enclosed environment, and Alaska didn’t want to think what would have caused him to cry out like that.

    “Butterfree, use your Compoundeyes to try and find him!” Sandy cried out, clearly as worried about the source of the noise as Alaska was. Butterfree nodded, and her eyes glowed slightly as she revolved in mid air, staring around in the direction the noise had come from. Everyone was watching her now, even Chloe, who had forgotten all about being angry in the sudden fear that they were in.

    “Free Free!” Butterfree exclaimed after nearly two minutes, and she suddenly shot forwards through the trees. The four humans and Paige rushed after, sending Caterpie and Weedle fleeing as they raced after the Butterfly Pokemon. Alaska hadn’t ventured off the path during her past few days in the forest: the trees were actually very close together, with thick trees combined with large roots and multiple bushes making running all the more difficult. They eventually had to run in a single file, with Paige overtaking them to follow after Butterfree.

    “Why would Damian have come in this far?” Chloe sobbed. Alaska didn’t want to answer, and focused on getting between two thick oaks, coming out into a large clearing. It was perfectly circular, as if an artist had planted the trees to make the even round shape. There were no trees in the middle, but their branches and leaves extended so far that only a tiny beam of light shone in the middle. The other three got through the oaks, and they all stared around curiously: there was no sign of Damian here.

    “Free Butterfree!” Butterfree called from above, and was pointing downwards with her wing: a small black bag was lying right next to a large dark space in the ground. Alaska took a nervous step forwards and glanced into the space: it was a giant hole, the first few feet being illuminated by the little sunlight, before descending deep into the earth. Long vines were growing up the sides, and a combination of clicking and buzzing was sounding from below.

    “It’s Damian’s bag!” Chloe yelled, picking it up and looking shocked. Alaska and Sandy exchanged horrified looks, agreeing on the only possible option for what had happened to Damian.

    “And look there!” Lachlan spluttered, his eyes wide with shock. Everyone turned, looking away from the bag and the hole and instead to something white lying in the grass a few feet away. Alaska was closest and picked it up: a white shoe, not big enough to fit Damian, but despite some specks of mud it clearly had only been here recently.

    “Someone else could be down there…” Alaska mumbled, and she lifted up the shoes tongue, wondering if there was some identification. A name was indeed on there, but a shiver went down Alaska’s spine as she read it, dark thoughts rushing through her mind about what could be there, and what was happening to the person whose name was written neatly across the shoe.

    Mitchell Melton.

    ^^^^ The GalacticVerse Bibliography (Thanks to Blazaking for Banner) ^^^^

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