22nd February 2009, 07:50 PM #1
Hello, Little Girl
AN:This is a one-shot. It's been posted other places, and now I'm going to post it here. Be warned, their is cursing in it.
Hello, Little Girl
“I want to kill myself, to escape from responsibility, to crawl abjectly back into the womb” – Sylvia Plath
No body can even see me. This thought had been going through my mind for weeks now. I was sitting on a bank, beside a creek in the woods outside of my town. I would have stared at my reflection, but the water was so murky, I could see nothing. Sighing, I decided to head back into a town.
At this time in the afternoon, most adults were at work. Most children were playing with their friends, except some who had turned ten. They had left on their pokemon journeys. I envied them, oh how I envied them.
I walked through a haze; I wasn’t sure where I was going. Some how, I ended up on my street, and was walking by my neighbor Michael’s house.
“Hello, little girl” Some one behind me said. Sighing, I turned, to see Michael there, smiling. He always called me little girl, maybe because he enjoyed the fact I disliked it. In his hands, he held an egg, which appeared to be glowing.
“That egg looks like its about to hatch, shouldn’t you take it some where?” Michael shook his head.
“A pokemon bonds with the first human it sees. I’ve been instructed how to help in the hatching; I have an area in side my house all set up. I came out here though, because you seem depressed” His face filled with concern. “Are you depressed?” I shrugged.
“Remember, two years ago, when I had the chance to become a pokemon trainer, but I refused” Michael nodded.
“You refused, because you thought your parents didn’t want you to go”
“I refused because I thought my parents cared” I laughed. “Well, that was a crock of shit. You had a legitimate reason, you refused because you wanted your starter to be something you hatched your self” I sniffled. “Well, you’re going to get your way”
“Look, I’m sorry” Michael said, “If their is anything I can do”
“No their is not” I said, temporarily regaining control over my emotions. “But, don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine” With out another word, I wave good bye, and went over and into my house.
As I closed and latched the front door, I slipped down to the ground, sobbing. I hated my life; I hated every aspect of it. I hated that no one even seemed to notice me, or care. I always wondered if any one had felt the way that I did. I had wondered for a long time, and over the last few weeks, I decided to do something about it. Today at the river, I just confirmed to my self what I was going to do.
Checking my watch, I confirmed it was a little past four. This meant my parents were at some bar, but only slightly drunk. Both of my parents are on disability, but they use this money to buy booze. I bet you’re wondering how they can afford to live on disability, if they spend their money getting plastered.
They had never loved me. Rather, they chose to ignore me. They ignored my please to become a pokemon trainer. They only noticed me long enough to tell me my birth was a mistake. My mother has told me on more then one occasion, I exist because they didn’t use birth control. A mistake. Well, this will make them see.
I ran up the stairs, to my room. I had been prepared for this. I wanted to do this now, because no one would be coming by for a while. I closed and locked the door to my room, and then went over to my bed. Reaching around under it, I found a coil of rope. Exactly what I need.
Pulling out the rope, I looked up at the ceiling light that hung down from my ceiling. It hung down on a metal rod, one I was sure could support my weight.
I tied the rope around the light, and then tied the end into a makeshift noose. If I got in it, I would hang about a foot off of the ground, suspended in death. Perfect.
Do I really want to do this? I stood up on my chair. I mean, yes, my life is hard, but isn’t every bodies? I pulled the noose around my head. I-I don’t think I want to do this.
“I don’t want to do this” I whispered. Unfortunately, I had already begun to kick the chair away as I came to this realization. The chair hit the ground with a heavy thud, as I struggled with the noose, as my body swung. Then…
The rope snapped. The moment I was making process to get my head out, the rope snapped, and I was falling. Falling to the ground, but then through it!
“How the hell!” I screamed, as I fell. I could see between the floor and ceiling, then my living room, then the floor again. But, when I fell through the floor this time, I didn’t go into the earth. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure where I went.
I was standing on something, but I couldn’t see what it was. Every thing was black, except my body. I could see my body perfectly, against this black background. I couldn’t hear, or smell anything. I could feel pain in my neck though, my neck hurt like hell. I could even see bruises.
“Hello, little girl” I flipped around, to see a creature floating there.
“Who are you?!” I cried. The creature was little more then pink floating cat thing. It had a giant head, on a body that looked like it had been put through a taffy puller. Its tail flicked back and forth, as it studied me.
“I think you know” It laughed, “I’m Mew”
“That’s right” I nodded.
“I don’t believe in you”
“I don’t believe in me either” He said, “But I am who I say I am”
“Then, shouldn’t you only be saying your name?”
“If you were alive, that would be all you would hear” The gravity of that statement hit me instantly.
“I-if, I were alive” Mew nodded. “Then, then this means”
“Your suicide worked a lot better then you” Mew said, “You were killed, in fact, your body is hanging in your room. It might be discovered any moment now”
“I don’t understand” I gasped, trying to come to grips with this, “Why are you here? Do you appear to every one? Where’s Arceus, I kind of expected to see him”
“Arceus is busy,” Mew said, “And, humans when they die, generally are visited by some one else. Arceus and me would see pokemon when they die. But, I also come under special occasions”
“What’s special about me?” I groaned. “I was invisible in life.
I was a loser”
“Was that an excuse to kill your self?”
“My life was hard”
“So?” Mew looked at me like I was the stupidest creature in the world.
“So, I have no friends, no future, I’ve been raised by parents who don’t love me”
“A, you do have a friend. Michael cares very much about you” Mew cried, “Michael would one day come to love you!” I stared, mouth agape.
“He-he loves me?”
“He will. Or, he would. You know what I find ironic? He worshiped you like a goddess. You said no one knew you existed, he knew! Better then any one! You ignored him! Puts things into perspective, doesn’t it?” I began to brake down.
“Can’t I go back?” I cried. Mew shook his head.
“No, not I, nor any legendary, nor any pokemon, human, or any thing under the sun can bring you back. This life is gone. However, there is one other thing” I looked up.
“One, other thing?” Mew nodded.
“I can give you second life”
“As a human”
“No” Oh boy. It hit me suddenly.
“A-as a pokemon?” Mew nodded. “I don’t understand”
“I’m offering you this chance, because you regretted killing your self as you did it. You would still be alive if you had had one more second. So, I’m here to offer you something.
“You will be reborn as a pokemon. Now, I know how miserable you were as a human, so I can promise you this, you life as a pokemon will be difficult, but you will be happy. You will have a master who loves you; you will be their first. What they do with you, no body knows, not even me. To get this, just ask”
I weighed the options in my head. New life as a pokemon, or, who knows what would come next. If I refused, I suppose I would be taken into the next world. But, what was over there?
“I’ve made up my mind” Mew nodded, “I’ll do it”
“Wonderful!” Mew exclaimed, “It really is wonderful. I mean, I think you’ll enjoy it”
“When will it begin?”
“Well, right now”
Instantly, relief washed over me. The choking feeling was gone, as were the bruises around my neck. Actually, all feeling in my neck was gone, along with all feeling in my body. I felt no pain, what I felt was beyond pleasure, it was the very feeling of life. The most beautiful feeling in the world.
I could no longer see Mew, or my room. At first, all I could see was a blinding white light brighter then the sun. But then, darkness, along with a new feeling of suspension.
I could feel my self-floating in something, maybe goo. I was enclosed, moving my arm forward, I brushed against something. Arm, or foreleg?
“Co… …on” A booming voice said. Although it was loud, I wasn’t scared. If any thing, I was encouraged. I pushed my other arm/foreleg against the edge.
“Com…on. Push” Push, against what? The wall was solid, what was I supposed to do. I push hard against the wall, but I didn’t feel any give. I had to stop, exhausted. “Come on, you can do it” The voice said. How did they know, did they know what I was going through? Did they have any idea what I was going through? I just wanted to float here, to rest. It was so warm, and comforting.
“Please, you’re almost there. Just push, push” I pressed my arms/forelegs again, but this time, their were cracks. I could feel cracks spread out under my hands/paws, and light! Light poured through the cracks, filling in my chamber.
“Come on, almost there” I wasn’t getting far enough, so I pressed my head against the wall. Pushing with all my force, I burst through the shell wall.
I fell through the shell, and landed on something soft. Blinking slowly, globs of goo fell off of my face, onto the ground. I couldn’t stand, my legs didn’t work. I was however, able to see I had landed on several towels.
Suddenly, someone pulled the rest of the egg I had been on, off of me, and began to mop the fluid off of me with the towels. I was cold, so cold, and my caregiver wrapped me in towels, all but my head. Slowly, my face was brought up to his. Michael, he smiled at me, and stroked the back of my head.
“Hello, little girl”