Notes for in this fic...

“”: Someone talking
(): Talking in pokemon language
{}: Someone’s thinking

Happy Bad Day! (Comedy/Parody One-Shot) Rated: U

One day inside a mansion, two men, one was in his seventies and the other was in his twenties, a huge green dinosaur and a little, yellow baby mouse were in the kitchen having some breakfast.

The old man, whose name was Bill Fireman, according to Brian he was known for his imaginations, was wearing a pair of glasses and a black suit with blue buttoned t-shirt underneath.

The other man was wearing a tight t-shirt, a pair of trainers and a pair of jeans, all black. His name was Brian Powell, famous and hated for his talent seeking skills.

The green dinosaur was a Tyranitar named Tony, Brian Powell’s assistant.

The little baby mouse, known as a Pichu, had a neck collar around his neck with a nametag signed ‘Jerry’, which was his name. A few months ago, he won a talent contest and a contract to perform various acts for fics and one-shots with Brian Powell as his talent agent. They had been friends for a very long time before then.

Normally, he’d be in a happy mood playing tricks on a lot of people. But this time, he wasn’t a happy Pichu as he cried through breakfast, yet it didn’t bother Brian, Tony or Bill since they were busy with their morning meal.

He cried while Brian was writing his fanfics, Tony was guarding the mansion and Bill was at a pet shop, arguing with a parrot. “No, Polly!” he said loudly and angrily. “You can’t just want a cracker! If you want a cracker, you have to earn it!”

He cried through the lunch hour when Brian was reading fanfics, heavily criticising each one in the process with no remorse, while eating his sandwiches. Tyranitar was eating burgers in the kitchen, even though he was on a diet. Bill was also in the kitchen but he was taking a blind taste test as he blindfolded himself, tasting each type of cheese while they’re on small sponges, mistaking the sponges as slices of French bread and croissants. “The bread’s a bit springy,” he said.

He cried during dinner and TV time, while his three associates wanted to watch their favourite shows but were distracted from Jerry’s somewhat infinite sobbing.

He even cried when it was time for bed. They had a separate room each but despite that the little baby Pichu wouldn’t stop crying. Having enough, Tony and Brian, now in his black pyjamas, walked from their rooms and stormed towards Jerry’s with Tony breaking the door down, startling Jerry in his small bed.

“(Jerry! Shut up)!” the Tyranitar roared angrily.

“Tony… two things,” Brian said in a dull tone. “One, that wasn’t necessary. Two, that was my door.”

“(Sorry, boss),” Tony growled, still looking angry towards Jerry. Brian looked down and saw that his assistant was wearing a pair of underpants.

“Odd,” he mumbled to himself, referring to the garment.

“What’s going here, then?” Bill yawned. He was wearing light blue pyjamas while holding a teddy bear.

“Bill, I thought a horde of elephants would wake you up,” Brian said in slight surprise. He then turned his attention back to Jerry. “Jerry, your sobbing is so annoying that it’s waking up the dead. What’s wrong with you?”

“(You… you guys… forgot… my birthday)!” Jerry sobbed, much to the shock of his friends, except Bill who was puzzled.

“Birthday?” Bill asked. “Didn’t we celebrate that a year ago?”

“We celebrate that each and every year,” Brian said in reply. He turned his attention back to the little Pichu. “We’re sorry,” he said, trying to make Jerry happy. “Happy birthday, big boy.”

“(It was two days ago)!” Jerry squealed angrily.

“Fine, sorry, we won’t forget it again. Okay?”

“(You promised me that two years ago)!!”

“How about we have a big birthday cake to celebrate your four years?”

“(I TURNED FOUR LAST YEAR)!!” the extremely angry and heavily saddened Pichu wailed as he cried rivers out of his eyes while Brian, for once in his life, had a scared and guilty look on his face because of this. “(WAAAAH!! I HATE YOU)!!”

He picked up a pillow off his bed and threw it directly at Brian’s face. “Counter attack!” Brian cried as he pulled Tony in front of him and the pillow hit him right in the face, surprisingly knocking him down. Jerry ran into corner and cried some more with his back turned towards his friends.

“Hello, Tony,” Brian said looking down at him. “We have a problem.”

“(No kidding),” Tyranitar muffled before taking the pillow off his face while picking himself up, momentarily dazed. “(What was in that pillow)?”

“How about we have a party tomorrow… and you two pay for everything,” Brian suggested.

“(No way, Brian),” Tony growled in a moody tone. “(Not with what you’re paying me… four bucks an hour).”

“Hang on a second,” Bill said as he took out a notebook out of his pocket and flicked through several pages until he reached a page that read ‘Never take ideas from this man’. Below the message, it had an arrow pointing to a photo of Brian. “I don’t think so either…” Bill said before pulling up his sleeve, looking at his wrist and pulling it down again. “Karen!” he finished.

“It’s Brian,” Brian said in a dull voice while rubbing his chin. “I got an idea.”

He slowly walked up to Jerry, who was still crying in the corner. “Jerry,” he said. “Since we missed out on your birthday, we’ll do anything you want.”

“(Anything)?” Jerry sobbed.

“Anything,” Brian said in an assuring tone.

“REALLY? ANYTHING?!” Jerry squealed in extreme delight while turning around with puppy like eyes, no longer in tears.

“Yes! Anything!” Brian said, putting more enthusiasm into his voice. Deep inside, he was betting that he had to do the most harrowing task he could ever imagine… playing a prank on a random big man or pokemon and get beaten up afterwards.

“I wanna go here!” the happy Pichu squealed as he pulled out a poster behind him, showing him a theme park with large writing that read out…

“{Pokeland}…” Brian Powell thought as he read the writing with an angst look on his face. “{Oh, I hate roller coasters}…” He then changed his expression back to happiness. “Okay, we’ll do that tomorrow.”

After some cheerful jumping and some hugging from Jerry, he immediately went back to sleep. After Brian, Bill and Tony left the room, they had a discussion of who would be looking after him, knowing how pesky he could be.

“(I hate it when he shows those puppy eyes),” Tony growled. “(And I’m not looking after him).”

“Don’t be looking at me,” Brian said. “I have to baby sit another kid and he’s over seventy years old.”

“Sorry, what?” Bill said after playing with his teddy while sucking his thumb.

“Plus, are you keeping track of his medication?” Brian asked.

“(Okay, you got me),” Tony growled, admitting defeat. “(If Bill had to look after Jerry, there would be heck to pay. But since I’m looking after Jerry, I’m going to need some help. You know what Jerry is like when one guy has to baby-sit him).”

“And you complained about being paid four bucks an hour, huh?” Brian grumbled after letting out a small sigh. He took his mobile phone out of his pocket. “Fine, I call the guys up,” he continued as he dialled a number. “I bet their boss is up late as usual with all his night shifts and stuff.”

The next morning, Brian, Bill, Tony, no longer in his underpants, and Jerry arrived at the Pokeland theme park. Apart from Tony and Jerry, they were wearing their usual attire. Brian checked on his watch. “Okay, where are those clowns?” Brian grumbled when suddenly, a small explosion occurred a small distance away from them, surprising them.

“Prepare for trouble, Brian Powell,” said a woman’s voice, catching their attention.

“Make it double, for people mistake you as Simon Cowell,” a man’s voice said, continuing the poem.

The surprised visitors turned around and saw a short, light purpled haired man and a long, dark purpled haired woman, both wearing a black and white uniform with a red R each on their chests, and a small cat with a coin on his forehead called a Meowth.

“To protect the world from devastation,” the woman continued, striking a model like pose.

“To unite all peoples within our nation,” the man said also striking a pose.

“To denounce the evils of truth and love.”

“To extend out reach to the stars…”

“Oh, shut up!” Brian complained. “Your rapping is as bad as John Cena’s and when I say bad, I don’t mean like how other people say it, I mean it sucks.”

Everyone gasped in shock because of the remark. “Well, they are bad rappers,” Brian replied back, he turned his attention back at the three mysterious figures. “Who are you guys anyway?”

“Never interrupt the Team Rocket motto!” the woman snarled angrily.

“We’re nearly finished anyway! Don’t rush us!” James complained.

“Thank goodness for that,” Brian murmured towards Tony, who nodded in agreement.

“Jessie,” the woman said, continuing the motto.

“James,” the man said.

“Team Rocket! Blasting off at the speed of light!”

“Surrender now or prepare to fight!”

“Meowth! Dat’s right!” the Meowth cried as he leapt in front of them, standing in a pose.

“Wobbuffet!” a blue blob croaked loudly, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere in front of Meowth while placing a paw on his head in a saluting manner.

“Mime!” a small clown like pokemon cried as he did an impersonation of the blue blob.

“Ah! Jessie, James and Meowth,” Brian said, smiling slightly. “Your boss must’ve sent you here to help baby-sit, Jerry.”

“Yes… yes, he did,” Jessie said in a down tone, not pleased with the current assignment of looking after a baby pokemon while everyone else of Team Rocket are doing more difficult tasks such as stealing merchandise.

“Eh? Those guys are bad!” Bill said loudly in a dopey way. “Why did Brian hire them?”

“(Well, apparently Brian and the Rocket boss are close friends),” Tony replied. “(Besides, I heard those guys can’t catch a Magikarp if their lives depended on it, so they’re stuck with the… not-so-easy job),” he finished, remembering that he also has to take care of the little Pichu.

“(Hey, hey)!” Jerry squeaked, catching everyone’s attention. They turned around and saw a sign and read the following words, ‘Only people, aged sixty five and over, thirteen and under, and pokemon can enter free’.

“That means that only Tony, Bill, Jerry, Meowth, Wobbuffet and Mime Jr. can go in free,” Brian said.

“And that includes us,” James said gleefully. “We have a plan that’s going to help us get through!”

“We’re not going to wear costumes are we?” Brian said, not liking the plan. “I’d rather pay money than pay my dignity.”

“But, Brian, you have one of the most recognisable faces in the world. With all those bad and rude comments you gave out in the past, there’s no telling what the people here are going to do if they see your face,” Bill said.

“For once, you’re acting smart,” Brian said. “I suppose I could use a change of appearance… once.”

“Question, is people coming after you with torches and pitchforks a bad thing or a good thing?” Bill asked.

Sometime later, everyone came to the admittance box of the park and the fat security guard looked at each person carefully and allowed Bill and the pokemon to go through for free. He looked at James carefully, who was wearing a grey wig over his purple hair, a blue suit and a pair of glasses, before letting him through, also for free. Brian was only wearing a fake moustache; he didn’t mind paying for his own entrance but he didn’t want to catch any unwanted attention. It was then Jessie’s turn, she was wearing a schoolgirl uniform, trying to act like a teenager.

“Sorry,” the security guard said after looking at her. “You’re way older than thirteen. I can’t let you pass.”

Jessie’s face showed shock with rejection after hearing the remark the guard said. “YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS!!” she screamed angrily as she grabbed a metal bucket and a hammer, scaring the wits out of everyone present with the guard being the most scared. She jammed the guard’s head inside the bucket before hitting the bucket repeatedly with the hammer.

“Oh, calm down, Jessie. I’ll pay for your entry,” Brian said as he took out his wallet. He placed his hand inside his wallet but felt nothing apart from the leather part of it. He found a small note inside and read, ‘Dear Brian, I took all the money and went inside to have fun. Love, Jerry.’

“That pesky Pichu!” Brian said loudly with anger. “Come on! We’ve got to catch him!” he said as he grabbed Jessie by the wrist while she was still hitting the bucket, with the guard’s head still inside it, with the hammer.

After their escape the guard slowly pulled his head out of the bucket, and his head became bucket-shaped. “I tawt, I tawt a putty cat,” he said dizzily before falling into unconsciousness.

Everyone ran around the theme park looking for Jerry. It didn’t take long to find him as they spotted him riding on a black wooden horse on a carousel. To Tony’s horror, Jerry was showing those puppy-like eyes again.

“Eeeee!” James said cutely with glee, dragging Jessie along like a child. “I want to ride on that pink one with those little red heart things!”

“I wanna ride on dat green one with yellow spots!” Meowth yelled as he ran towards the ride, as did Mime jr. dragging Wobbuffet along with them.

Tony had his mouth wide open with shock and dismay. Brian smiled cheekily as he took Bill by the hand like he was a child. “They’re all yours now, Tony,” he said cheekily. “Have a nice day.”

Tony was speechless after what just occurred, Team Rocket acting like the little Pichu as they rode on the wooden horses. Tears came streaming down his face as he growled, “(It’s because I refuse to pay for that party, isn’t it)?”

Sometime after playing on the carousel and other rides, Bill was told to take some medicine to reduce his insanity for a few hours, with a side effect of being dull and only able say a few words at a time, which suited Brian quite well.

After Bill took his medication, they walked around the park to look for a ride. Brian hated most rides except water rides as he found them most life threatening. “I want that one,” Bill said in a monotone voice as he pointed to one.

Brian looked at direction Bill was pointing to and it turned out to be a roller coaster. It was twice the same size as his mansion and most of its rails were put in loops as the people were screaming in fear and thrill while riding the roller coaster.

He shook with fear. “But I thought you hate roller coaster rides,” he said, trying to be smart. “I thought you said that riding them can be a life threatening situation and one time someone got scared to death.”

“Yeah, I know,” Bill said simply.

“Well, come on. Let’s go look for a water ride.”

“I want to go on that one!” Bill replied, he sounded a little more demanding.

Brian looked at the cue, which turned out to be a very long one filled with people and pokemon. “Do you need to go to the toilet?” he asked.

“No,” Bill answered simply.

“Are you sure? Because once we start cuing there’s no going back,” Brian said, trying to sneak his way out.

“Yeah, I know,” Bill said. “I wanna go on that one.”

Brian sighed in defeat. “Very well,” he said as he took Bill by the hand. “I got to talk to the doctor about your medicine.”

Meanwhile, near the end of the cue of the other ride, not far from Brian’s location, Tony’s group were getting ready to get on the roller coaster when the last ride ended. As they stood at the bottom of the roller coaster, Tony looked down at Jerry, who was very excited about it. “(Now, Jerry, remember that we got to stay together),” Tony growled.

Jerry looked up towards his babysitter. “(Yeah, yeah. I got it),” he squeaked, not actually paying attention.

“Next please!” a staff member yelled from the end of the cue as he took down the ropes of the entrance way that were keeping the customers away. As the crowd moved forward so did Tony and the rest of the group. Soon, the staff member quickly the ropes back on as the vehicle of the roller coaster was full, much to the waiting customer’s dismay.

Sensing the danger of having an impatient Pichu screaming, Tony looked down where Jerry was standing but was no longer there. He frantically looked round, even asking if Team Rocket were with him. They were standing behind him eating candy floss and other snacks. “No, ain’t he wit ya?” Meowth asked while munching on a hotdog.

“(You guys are supposed to help me look after him)!” Tony roared. “(Where could he be)?” He looked up and saw Jerry already riding on the vehicle, much to his dismay. “(Jerry)!” he roared trying to catch his attention.

Jerry looked down and saw his dinosaur friend, who was about eighty feet below. He gave a quick and happy wave to him. “(When you get to the exit, stay there),” Tony roared.

The little Pichu squealed with delight as the ride became faster. Suspicious that Jerry wasn’t able to hear him Tony turned towards his three assistants and gave them an evil glare. “(If something happens to Brian’s client and you’re still scoffing the stuff, I’ll literally have you three for lunch)!” he snarled as a droplet of saliva came out of his mouth. “(I hear that sugar make you guys extra tender).”

Fear came onto the faces of Team Rocket as they quickly scoffed down the remains of their snacks.

Meanwhile, back at Brian’s location, he was feeling quite nervous while Bill still had an expressionless look on his face as they sat themselves down in the vehicle, getting ready for the ride after waiting for several minutes.

The vehicle slowly started moving up the rails, taking them higher. “I need to go toilet,” Bill said simply.

“Bill… at the worst possible time,” Brian said as tears of stress and nervousness came streaming down his face as their ride slowly came to the highest part of the structure.

Meanwhile, back at Tony’s location, Tony’s group sat on their seats of the vehicle and Tony hoped that Jerry would stay at the exit. The ride became slow when it started to move upwards along the rail, it soon became very fast as the long vehicle went downhill, making the riding the customer scream with fear and excitement. But suddenly, the ride stopped when the middle part of the vehicle reached the first bottom of the rail where Tony, the over four hundred pound dinosaur, was sitting. It turned out that the ride stopped because of his heaviness, much to the dissatisfaction of the customers as they complained to no end.

“Er… Tony?” Meowth said, who was sitting behind him. Tony had no one else sitting next to him because of his large size.

“Not a word,” Tony growled irritably as a vain throbbed in his forehead. He noticed that Jerry wasn’t waiting for them at the exit as Jerry happily skipped towards a random place, much to his dismay.

Sometime after Brian’s and Bill’s ride, they visited a public lavatory. It had a number sinks and doors and behind each door was a toilet. Brian lost the contents of his breakfast and lunch in his part of lavatory after being horribly mangled by the harrowing ride he took; he took a few deep breaths while Bill did his business in his own part.

Brian heavily breathed in and out afterwards as he exited. “Jerry’s made up egg sandwiches and roller coasters don’t mix,” he said weakly.

Bill came out of his part and looked around in puzzlement. “Where are we, Brian?” he asked. The side effect of the medicine he took wore off.

Before Brian could answer, an explosion occurred from one of the doors surprising them both. They decided to investigate the cause of the explosion. As they took a peek, they saw a tall and muscular green goblin standing next to a toilet wearing a pair of leather trousers. He had his head painted red with black markings and was holding a plastic spider with a black string attached and glass of water. He let out an evil laugh, starting to scare Bill while Brian had a bored look on his face, seeing the goblin as one of the staff members in a costume.

“The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout,” the goblin sang as he swung the spider left and right. “Down came the rain to wash the spider out,” he continued as he slowly poured the water onto the fake insect, dropping it into the toilet.

He then slowly walked towards the petrified Bill, laughing even more, sounding more evil than the last. “I’m the Boogeyman!” he yelled. “And I’m comin’ to getcha!”

Bill became so scared that he ran out of the lavatory while Brian had a dull look on his face. “Good going. Now he’s going to end up in a mad house…” he said dully. “Although I kind of like the idea,” he finished, sounding as though he was interested as he placed his finger on his chin in a thinking manner.

He heard Bill’s petrified screaming again. “But still…” he said to himself as he too ran out of the lavatory, leaving the Boogeyman to continue laughing in an evil way.

After Tony and Team Rocket got rescued from their broken ride, they started looking for Jerry. There was a little boy nearby wearing a blue shorts and a yellow t-shirt, he was a playing a game where he had to hit various objects that pop out of their little holes with a large mallet.

“Bah! This game is so boring!” the boy complained but then he saw Tony and Team Rocket looking around in several directions and smiled devilishly.

After Wobbuffet released himself from Jessie’s pokeball, the group was about to split up to look for the pesky Pichu. Suddenly, Tony was knocked down with a mallet on the head, courtesy of the little boy, much to the surprise of Team Rocket. “Hey kid!” Jessie snarled towards the little boy. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you that it’s not nice to hit dumb pokemon with a huge mallet?!”

“Yeah! Did she? Did she?” Meowth snarled teaming up with his team mate.

Suddenly, a couple of small earthquakes were heard and felt behind them. Frightened, they slowly turned around and saw a fat woman wearing a flower patterned dress, she was two times bigger than Tony. “Did you two just yelled at my boy?” she snarled angrily.

“N… no,” Jessie whimpered, deeply intimidated by the woman’s size.

“Ma pokemon instinct is tellin’ me to cry and run away,” Meowth whimpered as tears of fear came streaming down his face from his eyes. “If Black Jack was here, what would he do?”

He pictured a character from a particular fanfic. He was a tall, muscular bearded man, wearing mainly black leather clothing with a black bandanna around his forehead and a pair of sunglasses. “Run, you idiot!” he roared.

Meowth quickly ran away while screaming and Jessie quickly followed. But the woman caught up with them and started pounding and stomping on them like a super heavyweight wrestler, much to James and Wobbuffet’s discomfort.

The woman then turned her attention to them, making them become shock with deep worry as they knew what was coming next. “Mommy…” they whimpered in unison but Wobbuffet croaked the word in his own language as the woman’s huge fist came crushing down on them with explosive results.

After the explosion, James, Wobbuffet, Jessie and Meowth were laid flat on their backs. “We’re tired and we want to go to bed,” they whimpered.

“I’m not done with any of you yet,” the woman snarled as she continued the beating by putting them in strangling holds, hitting them with folded steel chairs on their heads, and others.

“Hey! What’s going here?” Brian called loudly as he and Bill ran onto the scene.

The woman turned her attention to him. “You!” she yelled. “You must be Brian Powell! You criticised my sister’s singing voice, telling her that she sounded terrible!”

“Excuse me! I’m not…” Brian said about to defend himself but he could no longer feel his fake moustache underneath his nose. “Oh no… it must’ve fell off while I was chasing after Bill.”

“Hey!” shouted another voice, this time it belonged to a little girl as she walked onto the scene. “You said my fanfic was terrible! My friends said it was a brilliant fanfic!”

“Well, your friends must be liars, blind or dumb,” Brian said, letting his instincts as an arrogant critic to do the talking.

Another person came onto the scene. This time a man dressed like a chef. “Hey! Remember me?” he said in French accent. “I used to be one of the region’s top chefs but when you criticised my cheesecake as dry and gritty, my restaurant got closed down!”

“I’m not surprised. And I remember that so-called tomato soup you sent me, it tasted like rat poison.”

“It WAS poison!”

“Let’s get him!” Bill yelled pointing at Brian.

“Bill, what have I done to you?” Brian yelled before getting beaten up by a large number of people, including Bill, thirsting for vengeance. “Tony! Help me!” Brian yelled.

But Tony was still lying on the floor, chest first with the mallet still on his head. “(No way, Brian),” he growled quietly to himself. “(As long as I stay in this position I won’t get hurt. It’s either me or you).”

Then, to his surprise, he spotted Jerry at an ice cream parlour. Jerry was sitting at a table with a gigantic bowl full of ice cream; each scoop of ice cream had different flavours and colours.

Sometime after Jerry started eating his ice cream, he noticed his friends coming towards him, now badly battered and bruised after taking a huge beating from the angry crowd. They noticed the huge dessert. “Did you spend my last savings on this?” Brian asked dully.

“(You can have some if you want),” Jerry cooed with a cute yet sorry look on his face, noticing how unhappy they looked as he slowly pushed the dessert towards them.

“(Whoa! What happened to you guys? You can have some if you want),” Jerry cooed with a cutely, noticing how unhappy they looked as he slowly pushed the dessert towards them.

“Jerry, it’s time to go,” they said in unison with narrowed eyes. The pokemon said this in their language.

“This was the best birthday ever! Can we go there next year?” Jerry squealed happily and cutely towards his friends and babysitters, who were now wrapped heavily in bandages and casts like mummies. They were in hospital, lying on their beds, apart from Bill who was now living in a mad house. Jerry was the only one who was unhurt.

“Maybe. But there’s one place we can take you to,” Brian muffled through his bandages as he had an evil look in his eyes, as did everyone else.

“Yeah, and you won’t have to wait long. Just give us a few weeks until we get to leave the hospital,” Jessie muffled while grinning devilishly behind her bandages.