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  1. #46
    Future Mrs. Ketchum SerenaKetchum's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Sacred Gift (4)

    Quote Originally Posted by Akari View Post
    Lucas has 6 Pokeballs then. Vulpix and Poliwag take two I assume. Any speculation on who the other four will be?

    I wonder if any non-Kantos will be involved?

    I honestly am very excited for the next chapter of this. It's like waiting the long week in between a really great TV show.
    I do like that even though this is in Kanto, Legacy has avoided the Squirtle/Charmander/Bulba starter situation with Lucas. Vulpix and Poliwag > hopefully Ninetales and Poliwrath, which would be stellar. Excited to see the next enstallment.

  2. #47
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Sacred Gift (4)

    Yeah, I didn't want to do the whole Kanto starter thing. Kanto is already written about a bunch, and I didn't want to overdo it.

    Coming Soon...

  3. #48
    Stray Dog Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Leg...you changed your fic title :P

  4. #49
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Quote Originally Posted by Flaze View Post
    Leg...you changed your fic title :P
    Yup, The Sacred Gift is also something eluded to in TPI, which I'm reviving, so I decided to change the title of this fic to avoid confusion.

    Coming Soon...

  5. #50
    Your mind is a world AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Heyo! Always excited to read a new fic by Legacy. Sorry I'm late to the party.

    I absolutely love what you've done here. it took me a little while to discern that this was indeed anime-verse, but now that that has been settled I'm actually even more intrigued. I love the whole darker, shittier (in contents, not composition) world that is in itself a threat to the characters. I'm not usually a fan of grimdark but it can be done well and you're a good writer. The mystery is a great addition to what would be an amazing world to read a journey through anyway. I will say, though, that you can't go too much longer without giving us some exposition on this wall and Shell stuff. I don't know how you might do it, but you've already got a bit of mystery for a plot. There's no reason to add another layer of mystery in the world. It just gets confusing.

    I think Lucas's character is relatable and interesting enough. In fact, all of the characters come across as very real and believable. That's always something you've been good at.

    I know you've been on the run from environmental description ever since the infamous opening of TPI, but a paragraph here and there to set the scene wouldn't go amiss. I'm a bit of a description junkie though. You've just clearly got a great idea for a setting, and I'd hate to see it go to waste.

    Also, I will admit I felt the feels pretty hard over the contents of Gary's precious satchel.

    I can't wait for more. Let's be honest, your track record for finishing stories isn't great, but I would love to see this one go far. Cheers!

    Review Extravaganza 15/50

  6. #51
    #1 Gumshoe Special Agent Looker's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Quote Originally Posted by Legacy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Flaze View Post
    Leg...you changed your fic title :P
    Yup, The Sacred Gift is also something eluded to in TPI, which I'm reviving, so I decided to change the title of this fic to avoid confusion.
    Might wanna change your banner, in that case :P

  7. #52
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    So this is really interesting, and leaves a lot of questions for me that just make me that much more impatient for more. :P

    I'm reminded a lot of The Hunger Games, and I can't help but feel Lucas is walking a bit too close to Katniss's footsteps, if you catch my meaning. But, really, it's only four chapters in, and there's not been a whole lot of time for actual development, so I guess we'll see.



    Anyway, the prose is quite good and that battle was intense. The man intervening with the Oddish was intriguing. I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said. It's very good, which is par the course for you. :P

  8. #53
    Go Niners! Akari's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Wha? Different title?

  9. #54

    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Am I seriously the only one who caught the following right away: A Vulpix? The Battle Quest? This seems awfully familiar...to me, at least. That said, I was a little disappointed when it was a Vulpix that came out, over that epic buildup and tease at the end of the second chapter.

    But a'right. let's back up a bit. One. I must admit, I am a little disappointed with the initial impressions from here versus what it stabilized into. A bipolar main character would've been interesting to say the least. This chapter feels so detached from the others. It's basically setting up information for us, then wiping it away from the main character's mind. Memory adjustment and whatnot. The constant mention of the traumatic memories got to be a little annoying...then they just up and vanished during the part where more traumatic memories are created.

    Don't have too much to say about Two. It's pretty much setup. Good dialogue between older and younger siblings...the wishy-washiness is still around, but not nearly as pronounced. It was a little confusing with Pallet being a town that could possibly be on the outside barriers, but apparently it is not given the description. But apparently, it might be, given that there are bandits attacking Professor Gary Motherfucking Oak himself? Also hey, that means future fic. Interesting stuff, and it'll be interesting to see what, if anything, happened to the League.

    Three. I'm no stranger to making unexpected Pokemon kick ass, and seeing it done with Oddish was hilariously satisfying. Minor problem with it, by the way: while creative in how it's unaffected by the Roar by not having ears, it doesn't make sense on account of Hooded Man giving it verbal orders - particularly telling it to "wrap [it] up". Pretty sad seeing the former hotshot reduced to that. And the implications behind no fire department to put out the blaze, and maybe how quickly it burned.

    Four, blah blah blah exposition background anime universe confirmed and stuff. Interesting concept. And interesting. I never really considered that Lucas might be the interviewer/reporter in this version of the story until seeing that line. More information on the League and confirmation it existed here, but now it doesn't. Still no why, though. Hmmm...

    So yeah. It'll be interesting to see where this fic goes from here, especially now that we seem to be out of the introductory chapters. Looking forward to reading more!!
    Don't know what to put here.

  10. #55
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Thanks for the feedback, SE! Yeah, I borrowed some concepts from my previous, unfinished works because I like them and feel they can have a better shot to come to fruition in this story.

    Coming Soon...

  11. #56
    Go Niners! Akari's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    I have no problem with the recycling of certain things since those were your stories too. I'm excited to see where you go with the whole Vulpix thing because Ninetales is my second fave Pokemon after Dragonair. Hopefully we get to see it :D

    Anyway, just hoping that this story continues. It's probly my favorite one I'm reading currently even thus far.

  12. #57
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Quote Originally Posted by Akari View Post
    I have no problem with the recycling of certain things since those were your stories too. I'm excited to see where you go with the whole Vulpix thing because Ninetales is my second fave Pokemon after Dragonair. Hopefully we get to see it :D

    Anyway, just hoping that this story continues. It's probly my favorite one I'm reading currently even thus far.
    Thanks, Akari. Yes, this story is continuing for sure. I am in the middle of finishing the fifth chapter as we speak.

    Coming Soon...

  13. #58
    #1 Gumshoe Special Agent Looker's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Glad to hear chapter 5 is coming along nicely :)

    Still not quite used to the name change... misread and thought you'd changed it again to "The Quest for Moreos," which struck me as a rather abrupt shift in focus.

  14. #59
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Quote Originally Posted by Beausoleil View Post
    Glad to hear chapter 5 is coming along nicely :)

    Still not quite used to the name change... misread and thought you'd changed it again to "The Quest for Moreos," which struck me as a rather abrupt shift in focus.
    More oreos are always a good thing, Jabber.

  15. #60
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: The Green Chronicles: The Quest for Mesos (4)

    Indeed:

    Join Lucas Green, after his epic journey across Kanto has been completed, saving all of humanity in the process, as he and his friends partake in another incredible quest in search of the elusive and powerful Double-Stuffed Oreos to go with their endless supply of Miltank milk.

    Coming Soon...

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