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    Post Golden Discovery's

    Golden Discovery's
    The cry of a ghost




    Chapters

    Proloque
    Chapter 1 : It began with dizzy spells
    Chapter 2 : That sounds like a plan
    Chapter 3 : The purple ghost

    "What to do, what to do?! ARG! I don't know what to do! If i only knew something to do..."
    It was sunny in Geyser Town, where everyday around noon some geyser's pop out. It was around midday, and it was mid-summer. A blue otter like Pokémon was walking on the streets near the market.
    "Ohh, I need to think of something! Come on! Uhm..." He said.
    "Hey, Oshawott. Why are you walking on circles. Today is Mudkip's birthday, remember?"
    "Huh? Ohh, hey Chimchar! Well I was... You know..." Oshawott's face got red. She had a crush on Chimchar sinds she saw him the first time. "You know... I actually..." She stuttered.
    "Come on Oshawott! We shouldn't let Mudkip wait. I already bought a precent with my pocket money! Wait, haven't you already bought something?" Oshawott's eyes widened. "O no! I totaly forgot! ARRRGGG!!" She bumped her head twice against the big tree. "Hey, don't punish yourself like that! Come on, lets buy a present for Mudkip. Are you coming?" Chimchar asked. "Really...?" Oshawott's eyes grew big. "Ofcourse!"

    The two headed to the market. "What should we buy? Mudkip doesn't like most of these things." Chimchar said. "You must decide, Oshawott. I've already got a present!" "Well, I don't really know Mudkip well, but... Oh, I know!" Oshawott ran towards a stall. "Hello, little lady! Did you come to see the treasures I brought from the Sky Canyon?" The big Simisage asked. "YEs, I want to buy a present for my friend. Its his birthday!" "O, I see. Well, lets look what I've got. Does he dislike water?" "Uhh, no?" Oshawott said. "Well, then I think I've got something. Aha, found it." The Simisage turned around. "Here, take a look." He showed a big shell. "It was carved in by the old folkore that lived in the oceans. I think your friend would like it. That would be 10 Poké." Oshawott showed the money she had in her hand. She gave it and then received the shell. "I'm sure Mudkip will love this!" She said.

    "And? Did you find something, Oshawott?" Chimchar asked. "Yes, look at this." She showed the shell. "Woh, look at that dazzeling light!" Chimchar said. "Yes, I know. I will give this to Mudkip!"

    They walked towards the east of Geyser Town, where the Pokémons lived. "You know, it would be great to explore on your own, huh?" Chimchar suddenly said. "Yes, it sounds great! Maybe i'm going to travel when I'm older." She said. "Well, were nearly there!" In the street there was a big house, shaped like the head of a Mudkip. They knocked on the door. A Swampert opened the door. "Hey, miss. Were here for the party of Mudkip." Chimchar said. "O well, come in!" The mom of Mudkip said. The two headed in. Inside there was a big table, decorated with different colors. A big cake was on the table. It had the shape of a Mudkip on it, and a few parcels were behind it. "Wow, that seems jummy...." Oshawot said. "Come on, lets place our parcels on top!" Oshwott and Chimchar layed them on top of the other parcels. "Well, lets party now!" Chimchar said.
    Last edited by LightArrows.exe; 3rd July 2011 at 02:51 PM.

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    Post Re: Golden Discovery's

    Chapter one: It began with dizzy spells

    "Wow, what happened? I can't remember a thing? Where am I?" Oshawott's head was spinning around. "Were at Mudkip’s place, remember? The party had stopped around ten minutes ago. Are you alright, Oshawott?" a voice said. "Who a-are you..." Oshawott's head was still spinning. "What a silly question, its me, Chimchar!" Chim-Chimchar..." Oshawott looked around and saw the ruined party. "Wow, did I fall asleep or something?" She asked. "Yes, you fell asleep. Come on, sleepyhead! Now its time to wake up." Oshawott sat up, and looked around once more. Mudkip was also in the room, on the bench. "Well, is she alright?" He asked. "Yes, Oshawott's alright." Chimchar said. "I'm just di-dizzy..." Oshawott said after a moment of silence.

    Ten minutes past since Oshawott woke up. She wasn't dizzy anymore. "Well, I can see normal again. At last. By the way, Mudkip. What do you think of my present?" She asked. "That you could still ask something like that..." Chimchar said. "Well, I really like it! Did you know that this shell also powers up my water moves? Look!" Mudkip shouted: "Water Gun!" A blast of water shot out of his mouth and hit the lamp on the table. "Cool, huh. Normally it wouldn't blast to the other side of the room." Mudkip did a pose. He stand on his back paws, and looked like a painting on an Egyptian Wall. "Wow, you really resemble a Lucario! Haha!" Oshawott said. "Well, we'd better head on. See you later!" "Bye!" Mudkip said.

    Oshawott and Chimchar headed outside. "Hey, do you still remember when we walked to Mudkip’s house?" Chimchar suddenly asked. "Well, actually... No..." Oshawott said. "Well, I was talking about traveling. Someday I will sure travel around the world! Or at least around the region..." "Wow, cool!" Oshawott said. They walked further on the path. Out of nowhere, Oshawott felt a headache. A red burst of light flashed before his eyes. She saw a big fire. Water Pokémon were busy to extinguish the flames. They all failed, and the fire burned further, and grew larger.

    "Hey, are you alright?" Oshawott felt another headache, and afterwards was back, walking with Chimchar. "Huh, no... I mean, yes! Yes..." Oshawott stuttered. She thought about what she just saw. A big fire, growing larger and larger. The Pokémon were in great danger, and nobody could escape the flames. "Are you really alright?" Chimchar asked. "Well, I'm not sure." Oshawott said. "I saw something pretty weird."

    She said to Chimchar what happened in her dream. "Well, it probably was just a little daymare." He said. "A daymare?" "Yes, a nightmare, but then while it is day." Chimchar said. "Well, I'm not sure if it was a "daymare"." Oshawott said. "C'mon, don't over think it. I'm heading home. See you tomorrow!" "Bye." Oshawott was all alone on street. She headed to her house, still thinking of the dream she had.

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    Back to KM Kantomasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Golden Discovery's

    ok the plot is good, but there are some errors.

    - First off, your chapters are a little on the short side, and adding a little more description would be good.

    -You fixed it in chapter one, but in the prologue you didnt space your frsts paragraphs.

    - Try using a spell/grammer checker, there were some mistakes, like forgetting spaces or misspelled words.

    - When a new person speaks, there should be a new paragraph. Instead of multiple people speaking in one paragraph.

    -Lastly, your plot seems to be going a little too fast. I mean, one moment they were in the villaga are, next paragraph the party, blacking out and then a fire all in two chapters.

    I'll be sure to keep reading though! :)
    My 3ds FC: 0018 2172 7225 Safari: Rock Feel free to add me! I can only get on wifi maybe once a week at most though!
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    Game Completionist LightArrows.exe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Golden Discovery's

    Thanks for reading it.5 In the beginning, they were in the village, and went to the party of Mudkip. In Chapter one, the party has stopped, and the sixth sense (or whatever you call it) of Oshawott showed a fire, what would be explained further in the plot.

    I would check for grammar and spelling errors, and I will look if i can add extra details. And I'm fixing that with the speaking in Chapter two. BTW, what did you mean with:
    -You fixed it in chapter one, but in the prologue you didnt space your frsts paragraphs.

    I don't really understand what you mean with it.

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    Default Re: Golden Discovery's

    Chapter two: That sounds like a plan

    It has been five years now, since Oshawott had that weird dream. She didn't knew that that dream, would soon become nothing other than truth. The horrible dream she had, will happen always as she saw it. She almost forgot the dream, since nothing happened. Chimchar still believes it just was a daymare.

    Oshawott was home, busy with cleaning up his room. She searched for
    something, something that she loved, but she couldn't find it. Without
    knowing what she searched, she cleaned further. Her bags were all packed, and she was happy. Today was finally the day she goes on a journey. She would collect all sorts of fragments, jewels and even more treasure. She cleaned, and cleaned. Finally she found what she was for. A necklace that she got on her birthday. She got it from Chimchar. She would defend it with her life if she needed to. She was just ready with cleaning, when the bell rang. She opened the door, and Chimchar was outside, still ringing.

    "Oshawott, are you ready? We are finally going on a journey! I feel it, this is my passion for life... Nothing can stop me now! I will cross the highest mountains, I will dive deep in the see! Ok, diving is something I won't do, but you'll get it, right?" Chimchar said.

    "Well, I would take a dive..." Oshawott said.

    "Then I would to!" Chimchar shouted.

    "Well... Ok.... Wait, just wait a second!" Oshawott ran back inside, and
    searched around her room. She searched around her bed, and found her bags
    there. she ran down the wooden stairs, and across the wooden floor of the
    kitchen. She went to the refrigerator. She grabbed a lot of food, and put
    them on the table. She looked down in the drawer near the sink. There she
    found a bag. She headed to the table, and put in the food.

    "Ok, first the bread. Then the eggs. Afterwards a lot of juice. And then the
    cookies." Oshawott packed everything in. "Ok, I'm ready. I'M COMING,
    CHIMCHAR!" She headed to the door. "Huh, where's Chimchar?" She looked
    around and headed outside. She searched around town, and found Chimchar at
    the path to the Growling forest.

    "Are you coming, Oshawott?" He asked. "I'm all ready to go. Just tell me
    when your ready."

    "Well, you don't have to wait anymore. He he... ..." Oshawott said. "I'm
    ready."

    "Ok, let's go."

    "Wait, I actually like to go to the Swallow Sea... I think I must do
    something there."

    "Ok, we'll go there then." They headed west.

    They walked for a long time. They were still crossing big fields. Everywhere, different Pokémon were grazing. the field was scattered with big rocks, and a few trees were standing around. The grass was yellow colored. They headed further, and the Ponyta's were looking at them, and they ran around them. They saw a big forest ahead. "There's the Berry Forest. That on the way to the Swallow Sea." Chimchar said.

    The Berry Forest was like a natural maze. Oshawott and Chimchar walked in around five minutes ago. They looked around. where ever they looked, the only thing they could see were big trees with different berries. "How would we come out of here?" Oshawott asked.

    "I have no idea..." Chimchar said.

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    Default Re: Golden Discovery's

    ok you really fixed up that chapter. And for what you asked, in the first paragraphs of your prologue, you pressed enter once, not twice to put space. And nice chapter;
    My 3ds FC: 0018 2172 7225 Safari: Rock Feel free to add me! I can only get on wifi maybe once a week at most though!
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    Game Completionist LightArrows.exe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Golden Discovery's

    Thank you. Now I know what you mean. :P The next chapter should be maked tomorrow. If it's ready before mid night tomorrow, than its tomorrow. :P

    PS. I lost the new chapter. It was nearly done. Sorry, this would take a bit longer.
    PSS. From now on I will post images if I can make them.
    Last edited by LightArrows.exe; 16th June 2011 at 04:20 AM.

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    Default Re: Golden Discovery's

    Chapter three: The purple ghost

    Every year there would is a special feast in Geyser Town. It was a feast with different fierworks. Around 500 years before this time, a rescue team freed this town from a cursing Sprititomb. They attacked him with different attacks. These were the legendary team, Alakazam, Charizard and Tyranitar. Their combinining attack destroyd him. After them came the town villagers. Together they freed the pool, where a giant Whiscash was swimming. Lombre was extinguishing the fire. The Grandull and Caterpie rebuilded the houses. Also they build the base of an other Rescue Team, the Legendary team. They were the favorite team of Alakazam. They also helped building the town, and brought food from faraway.

    Around 250 years later, the Spiritomb attacked a city on a big, Sharpedo like cliff. There, the villagers were stronger and battled for 2 years. After nearly all Pokémon were all worned out, the team, Go-getters defeated the Spriritomb. They rebuilded the town in about 25 years. The forest was plantted again, and different Pokémon were extuingishing the flames. The market was blooming again.

    Now, 227 years later from when the town was rebuild, Mudkip was playing with his little brother. Mudkip was running around, and his brother was counting. Suddenly Mudkip looked up. In the Berry forest, he heard a big cry.

    Everyone headed towards the square. The mayor Breloom was trying to calm down his people.

    "Don't worry everyone, a special team, consisting of our liked Swampert, Sceptile and Blaziken are looking on the case now. Just calm down till they come back! There's nothing to worry off!"

    Mudkip and his brother were trying to squis through the Pokémon. They headed up the stage and Mudkip shouted in the microfoon:

    "Everybody, my friends are in the Berry Forest. They headed towards the the Growling forest! The Berry Forest is on the way to there. I'm sure they see what that sound was soon, and will stop the cause!"

    Chimchar was jumping over the hedges. Oshawott was just walking across them.

    "Wait up, Chimchar!"

    "SSSSSSSPPPIIIIIIIIRRRRRRIIIIIII!!!!" Something or someone cried not to far from them.

    "Wha-wha-what was t-t-that?" Oshawott asked.

    "I don't know! Lets explore!"

    Chimchar waited briefly till Oshawott was near him.

    "Come on, lets go." He grabbed Oshawott and jumped towards the hedge that was near the middle. He let Oshawott go, and looked before him. He saw a bit of blue fire in the middle of the spot.

    "Huh, there's nearly nothing? Just a few flames..."

    "Flames?!" Oshawott used water gun and extuingished the flames.

    "SPIRI!!"

    They looked above them, and saw a stone floating.

    "WHAAAAA, A-A GHOST!!!" Oshawott nearly fainted. The stone sprang open, and a purple liquid came out. It toke form and they saw eyes.

    "SPIIIIIIIIIRIIIIITOOOOOMBB!" The ghost called.

    Suddenly, they could also see little green lights. The ghost looked at Chimchar, and then to Oshawott.

    "SPRITOMB!" He opened its mouth and blue flames came out, hitting Oshawott.

    "HOT, HOT, HOT!!!" She cried. She used water gun and the fires were gone. The ghost afterwards breathed in. Suddenly a little purple tornado headed their way.

    "O no, it used Ominous wind! That means it must be a Pokémon." Chimchar said.

    The wind pulled them up and span them around.

    "I'm getting a bit.." Oshawott's face turned green. The tornado stopped and they fell down on the ground, all knocked out.

    "I heard the cry coming from here."

    "No, it was that way!"

    "Are you guys sure? I headed the cry all the way back. For now I heard it three times!"

    "Well, look. What have we got here?"

    "Two knocked out Pokémon."

    "I can see that!"

    "Auch, why did you slap me?"

    "Because he can see that."

    "Well, whatever. Come on, lets take them to the camp."

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    Default Re: Golden Discovery's

    Chapter four: The stone

    Oshawott awakened. She looked beside her, and saw Chimchar.

    "C'mon Chimchar, wake up." She shaked Chimchar all around till he awakened.

    "What time is it? And where are we?" He asked.

    "I don't know. I can't remember anything of what happened."

    "Me neither..." Suddenly a shadow appered outside the tent they sat in.

    "So, you guys are finally awake."

    "WHAAAAAAAAAAA! IT'S A GHOST!" Oshawott cried. Afterwards, she fainted.

    "C'mon Oshawott..." Oshawott sat up. "You just fainted. It wasn't even ten seconds ago."

    "Well, first, I'm not a ghost. Second, I'm Blaziken. Third, you guys are in a camp. We came to explore the place of where the cries ame from. Also, I've got a few questions. First question: Did you see the Spriritomb?"

    "Sorry, can't remember a thing."

    "Me neither."

    "Well, too bad. Ey, Sawmpert, Sceptile. They can't remember anymore. What should we do now?"

    A shout came from the other side of the camp. "Just escort them out the forest!"

    "Will do! Come on, ya little guys. We'll escort you out this forest."

    "But we want to stay in the forest!" Chimchar said.

    "Sorry guys, you can't. It's to dangerous."

    "I laugh at danger." He said. "What about you Oshawott?"

    "Ouch, my belly hurts! I feel so sick! AUWOOOO..."

    "Come on, Oshawott. Don't fake it. Come on, Blaziken, let us help!" Chimchar said. "We can help! Really, I mean it!" He looked with big, sparkling eyes.

    "I don't think so. Come on, like I said, I'm going to escort you out the forest!"

    "Well, whatever. I'm going."

    They all headed in the forest, and after around twenty minutes they were at the exit. Blaziken left and Chimchar and Oshawott were left alone.

    "Well, I don't want to get put away like rubbish!" Chimchar said.

    "Give it up already! Blaziken and the others are probably now fixing this problem. Hey, are you actual... Chimchar!!"

    Chimchar headed in the forest. Oshawott ran after him.

    "SPIRIIIIIIII!!!!"

    "There's that cry again!"

    They headed further in the forest. They looked through the trees and saw Blaziken, Swampert and Sceptile battling against de ghost.

    "So the ghost we saw earlier was a Spriritomb?" Chimchar asked.

    Blaziken got thrown towards the tree where they hided behind. Spiritomb saw them and attacked them with blue flames. They both jumped and stood before him.

    "Let's get him.." Oshawott said.

    They both jumped in the air, and used Ember and Water Gun combined. It wasa fier tornado with swirls of water around it. It hitted Spriritomb, and he fell down. Chimchar and Oshawott both used the attack again. A blue wall was set up against Spiritomb and the attacks. He floated again, and used Ominous wind on them. They were thrown back, but stood up.

    "Lets combine all our attacks!" Oshawott shouted.

    sceptile's vines on his arm's began glowing. Swampert was concentrating, and a big mudstreem came. The left foot of Blaziken turned red. Oshawott used his water gun, and Cimchar his ember. Sceptile and Blaziken jumped in air and hitted Spiritomb with Leaf blade and Blaze Kick. Afterwards the Water Gun, Ember and Muddy Water were combined and and pushed Spiritomb back. His body became liquid again, and it returned in the stone.

    "W-w-we've beating Spiritomb!" Oshawott said.

    Sceptile picked up the stone.

    "Time to go back." He said.

    They all headed towards the exit of the forest.


    'I wonder what became of the trio I send.. They didn't come back in a while..." The mayor said. Suddenly a big party seemed to be held on the square.

    "Whats that for noise?"He headed to the square.

    Once he arrived there, everyone was partying and in the middle of everyone stood Oshawott, Chimchar, Sceptile, Blaziken and Swampert.

    "Good lords to see you guys made it back. What happened?"

    "We'll tell you later. By the way, it was Spirtomb." Everyone was suddenly quiet. "We've even brought back the stone. We wouldn'tbeat him if these two passerby kids didn't spyed on us."

    "Hehe..." Oshawott giggled.

    "We'll discuise with you. Are we going to the Town Hall"

    "Yes, we are."

    The mayor and the trio left.

    "Well, do you remember your "daymare" from five years ago?"

    "Yes, I do."

    "I think it was a bit about Spiritomb. But, it can't happen now! He is locked up!"

    "Well... maybe your right..."



    "Mayor, we must hide the stone."

    "O, Sceptile, are you sure about that?"

    "Yes, I am. hide it safely. I want to, but I can't believe Spiritomb is really sealed up."
    Last edited by LightArrows.exe; 18th June 2011 at 03:44 PM.

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