6th May 2009, 12:00 PM #1
GENERATION-G A Fanfic Based on A New Region, New Pokemon and New Adventures
This is the prologue to my new fanfic, Generation-G. It features Plato and Platina, the heroes of DP-Pt, heading to a new region- the Fenna region. It also guest stars Cyrus, Cynthia, Looker etc. Please comment and review this fanfic!
Five years ago, a tragic accident happened somewhere in the region, Sinnoh,
and it involved Cyrus Galaxy, a man that wanted to collect three creatures related to emotions. These creatures would help ‘reveal’ two legendary dragons. A third dragon was known to exist. But he still needed two other objects to unlock them- the mysterious orbs.
One orb was the Adamant Orb, which controls the dragon that had the power of time. The second orb, which was named the Lustrous Orb, could control the dragon that had the power of space. The third orb was said to be called the ‘Distortion Orb’, and controlled the dragon that had the power of....well, nothing. Though it has been known to bring darkness everywhere it went.
Anyway, let’s go back to the story. A heroic 12 year old boy, Plato Brendan, wanted to save the innocent dragons from destruction, so he fought against Cyrus. “Cyrus, if you’re going to control them easily, I’m going to stop you.”
Cyrus walked over to Plato. “Hahaha! You think you are really going to defeat me? Hahaha! You really make me laugh.” Cyrus backed away, but fell in the arms of a policeman. “Wah!?”
“You’re coming with me, Cyrus.” He showed his I.D card. “I am PC. John Looker and I work for Jubilife City services. I am going to arrest you. You have got a right to talk, but anything you do say will be heard by court.”
“Does anyone apart from you and Plato actually want me to go prison?”
“Yes.” A tall woman with long, blonde hair walked in. “I am Cynthia Julison. And I want you to be arrested. PC. Looker, arrest this man!”
Looker placed Cyrus’ hands in a pair of handcuffs. “You are considered dangerous, so you will therefore be arrested. Say goodbye to these dragon friends of yours!” Looker looked at the other policemen. “Take him away, boys. Take him away.”
Since those events, many things in around the pokemon world have changed. Cerulean City has built a new shrine to protect and calm down the psychic type pokemon, Mewtwo. The Power Plant and Seafoam Islands have been blocked, so nobody can go in, keeping Zapdos and Articuno safe. The Tin Tower and Whirl Islands has also been completely changed to keep Lugia and Ho-oh safe. In short, all legendary pokemon are completely safe.
Cyrus was sent to prison for five years at Glacia City in the Fenna region. Plato and Platina are still friends, and they are about to start their journey in Redwood Town, in the aforementioned Fenna Region.
One week after Cyrus was arrested...
"So here we are- Plato Brendan of Sandgem Town up against Platina Birch of Twinleaf Town." the booming commentator announced. "Plato will be battling with Torterra, Milotic, Rhyperior, Staraptor, Dragonite and finally, Pikachu. Platina will be battling with Empoleon, Gyarados, Togekiss, Bibarel, Garchomp and Azumarill. Begin the battle!"
Plato threw his pokeball holding his loyal Torterra. "Torterra, use that Leaf Storm of yours!" The Leaf Storm terribly hit Platina's Gyarados.
"C'mon! Let's right back with your Hydro Pump!"
"Both trainers have only one pokemon left! Who will win the finals of the Sinnoh Pokemon League?" The commentator announced.
"Pikachu, use Thunder!!!!!!!" The thunder hit Platina's Azumarril instantly, suddenly making Azumarril collapse.
"Plato has won the battle!"
Within the next year, Plato and Platina were finally married. They ordered the police to protect all the legendary pokemon. And by the time Cyrus got out of jail, Plato and his wife had finally reached the Fenna region.
Please read the first chapter- The Peaceful Life in Redwood Town.
7th May 2009, 02:17 AM #2
A black and white world
Re: GENERATION-G A Fanfic Based on A New Region, New Pokemon and New Adventures
The dialogue is all stilted, and it only suits one character--Looker--to have stilted dialogue. Additionally, the descriptions are...they seem like you're telling it to a very small child. And the names--"Galaxy" as Cyrus's surname?