(making this teen just in case)

friend of ours.
by "starlight"

based off of the song "friend of ours" by elbow.

I drank my beer rather slowly, swallowing the bitter liquid that burned the roof of my mouth and throat.

Too strong. I thought, but disregarded the taste. I swirled the alcohol that remained at the bottom of the light green bottle around.

A movement beside me; I looked up with a hopeful grin and started my sentence off, “Hey-” I stopped as I realized with deep disappointment that it was somebody I didn't know, and thus, didn't want to see.

He gave me a weird look, his eyebrows raised up in a puzzled expression. I shook my head, mumbled a hardly audible “sorry” and went back to staring at my half-empty bottle.

The guy I was looking for always came around at the same bar. We'd always share words and tales about our day, laugh a bit or two and then say a humble good-bye. I was never good at good-bye's, to be honest, so I always seemed quite cold when I did, or at least I seemed very half-hearted about it.

He seemed to sense this, and always told me he'd be around down at his apartment or here.

Although it may seem like I knew him very well, I didn't, in fact. He didn't really have a good life outside of his friendships and I wish he would have been more vocal about it, or I should have said something to him. Still, I felt like saying such things would be considered prying, so I kept my mouth shut; a mistake.

One day I had come here, expecting to see his face once again and to share the events of my rather boring day. I was disheartened when I saw he hadn't arrived. I expected he was sick or something but... Never had I realized that the last time I visited was the last time I would say good-bye to my very best friend.

When he hadn't come for a drink the next few nights past, I went to investigate. I visited his bright yellow colored apartment, which always received little to no rain and the roof was a sunny spot where we'd hang out and smoke cigarettes and talk until the sun went down.

But that day wasn't bright. It was raining actually, which was a surprise. I arrived drenched to my bare skin in rain at the doorstep, and when I rang it, my good friend didn't answer the door. It was someone I had never seen before. I asked for him, and, well, the word is still ringing in my head to this very day, a couple weeks later.

“Dead.” The woman who was dressed up in a flowery pink sun dress had replied.

She then slammed the door on me, my eyes staring at the painted dark blue door, shock making them widen. It was nearly impossible to believe. I was in denial of it for a day or so until finally when I visited his funeral, it hit on me that he was gone forever.

How he died? He killed himself. He was depressed beyond relief and threw himself off of the roof of his house the same night that he said his last farewell to me. I don't know why he was depressed; someone told me it was because of some family issue that I didn't know about.

I've been drinking more ever since then, in fact, the bottle I'm drinking now has been my fifth bottle. But enough of that matter... I really don't feel like thinking about that day...

Maybe it was the haze of the alcohol that brought me to a daydreaming trance, and sent me to another time and place at his apartment, on the top of the roof, smoking our cigarettes and staring at the pink clouds of the sunset. The skyline of Chicago never seemed prettier that evening, as we gazed upon it with smiles on our faces, letting the smoke from our cigarette butts gather into the air.

“You know...” My friend had started, leaning his elbows on the edge of the apartment roof alongside me, “I feel like I can fly right now.”

I looked at him, making a laugh, “Ha! Like Superman!”

He nodded and made a tiny chuckle himself, “Yeah... Just like Superman.” He stared at his folded hands before looking up again at the sky, right at the orange sun that grew in size as it lowered in the horizon.

“I'd love to fly someday... I mean, like, not in an airplane or anything, but be like a bird and fly. That'd be the coolest thing to just... Feel the breeze beside me and skim the clouds.” He made a wistful sigh.

“That'd be pretty neat, wouldn't it?” I replied, thinking about it myself.

Suddenly, he stretched his arms out wide and closed his eyes. Just then, a strong breeze came and made his long, dark brown hair whip about in the wind. His jacket flew out behind him, looking like a cape. I know, it may sound silly, and it did look a bit silly, but I really felt like that if he jumped off the ledge like that, he would have flown as skillfully as an eagle.

And then I too joined in, closing my eyes and feeling the blast of cool air just brush past me, skimming over my outstretched arms and straight body and making me feel weightless. A burst of exhilaration went through me and I felt like yelling out some sort of triumphant cry, but then it was over and there was no more breeze and we were left blinking confusedly, but still holding in that feeling that we had.

I drifted back to the present, feeling warm tears fall down my cheeks at the wonderful memory. I gritted my teeth, wiped the tears away and set my bottle down, paying the bartender and walking out of the stuffy bar, slightly tipsy from the drinks I had. As I went down the sidewalk, half stumbling along and the chilly evening air biting at my face I looked up at the dimming sky and stopped as I saw a bird flit past. It was a dove, but it was different from the one's I had seen. I mean, it was the same coloration as the ones here and everything, but, something about it just seemed... Out of the ordinary, and oddly enough, familiar.

It came to roost on a cherry tree that was planted in-between the sidewalk and the main road. I looked at it, and smiled. I had the feeling it was smiling back.

It was then when I started to remember how my friend wanted to be like a bird, and fly high in the sky. I could feel more tears slide down my face, but I didn't wipe them away.

Staring at the dove, I mumbled one of my half-hearted good-byes that I always said when my friend left.

“Love you, mate...”

The dove started chirping, and it sounded like it was saying “Love you too.”

this was something really short and simple i decided to do. i haven't been feeling good so i thought i could release with writing and music. this was the outcome.