19th March 2009, 10:59 PM #1
Fantastic Voyage!? (Game, PG)
It was a bright day out in New Bark. Everyone was up and running, be it to do some shopping in Cherrygrove, go to school in Violet, or off to follow the Johto Dream. Everyone, that is, but Kris, despite her mother's best attempts.
"Wake up... Wake u-up... WakeupwakeupWAKEUUUUUUP!!!
WAAAAAKE *gasp* UUUUUUUUUUUP!
...*sigh. Teens these days."
And then her mother eyed the CD collection.
"...No, that wouldn't work. I've seen her sleep through worse."
Meanwhile, on the phone lines that lead to Kris' house, a pair of Murkrow were having a conversation.
"<Clean her windows, lady! It works on TV!>"
"<Pipe down, you'll wake the guy next door.>"
Here, the Murkrow was referring to the Pidgey that was sound asleep on the telephone pole.
"<Zzz... birdseed... zzz...>"
Back at the house, Kris was still fast asleep. Her mother had tried everything, from fiddling around with the power tools to waving a hot dog wrapped in bacon within close proximity of her nose. No luck. Therefore, one of the Murkrows decided to intervene.
"<Nothin's workin'. I'm goin' in. Wish me luck.>"
The Murkrow hopped off the cable and made a kamikaze dive for what it thought was an open window...
Despite not having the aid of a spatula, the bird was able to remove itself from the windowpane. Like a disoriented butterfly in a windstorm, the Murkrow drunkenly flapped its way to its post on the cable.
"<You never told me there was a window...>"
"<You never asked.>"
Not even the unmistakable thud of a Murkrow hitting a glass pane could wake Kris up. Her mother decided to bring out her last resort. She put on an umpire costume with football shoulderpads and a motorcycle helmet. She stuffed several pillows down her sweatpants. You would think that she was trying to bathe a Meowth. Then she broke out the pièce de résistance: A ten-foot wooden dowel. She slowly crept up to Kris' bedroom, being careful not to trip over anything. Then she poked Kris with the stick--and waited.
3... 2... 1...
"AAAAAAAAAAUGH! AAH! AAGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH-Oh. Geez, Mom, ya almost scared me half to death there."
"Well, there was no other way to do it."
"Really. No other way?"
"Yeah. You didn't even wake up when that bird hit the window."
"Bird? What bird? All I see is an angry Pidgey chasing two Murkrow off the... Oh.
"Why were you up so late?"
"What do you mean?"
"Agh-You know what- *sigh* Well, I guess it's okay, I mean, You just turned eleven, so you don't go to school anymore..."
"Does this mean I can go back to sleep?" asked Kris.
Her mother stared at her for a while, as if thinking it over, then replied, with a cheerfulness that seemed to come out of nowhere: "I made paaan-caaaakes!"
"Wow! Thanks, Mom! You're the best!" Kris gave her mother a hug before running to the living room, still in her pajamas, and getting her breakfast. She ate while watching the TV. Her favorite comedy was playing. How they came up with Crunchy Frog, she'd never truly know. Her mother came walking after, stuffing her armor back into the walk-in closet.
The two sat next to each other, mother and daughter, watching the TV and laughing. After the two had finished their pancakes, Kris put everything in the sink. Her mother had washed the dishes recently, and the sink was spotless. It was at that point Kris' mother remembered something.
"Hey, you know the professor who works next door?"
Kris' stomach lurched.
"He wanted you to run an errand for him. He wouldn't go into details, but he wants you to meet him at the lab."
Kris was relieved. She disobeyed Elm's orders not to touch anything roughly a week ago, and she was now living in fear that something was going to explode.
"I'll be headed next door, then."
But just as Kris was about to leave, her mother handed her something.
"Your Pokégear came back from the shop. They found several Przcureberry leaves lodged in the speaker system, could you believe it?"
Kris turned bright red and walked out.
Meanwhile, next door, Professor Elm was wearing a gas mask and what looked like a baggy spacesuit. He was carrying a pair of tongs which held what looked like a flaming Glo-stick over some outlandish device that looked like a cross between a rain basin, a motorcycle, a CD player, and a fresh Piloswine skeleton. He was working with the precision of a surgeon, though only he knew what he was doing.
And then the door slammed open.
"HI, PROFESSOR! You called?"
With a deafening yelp, Elm dropped the tongs, thus rendering the machine a smoldering wreck. The lab had to be quarantined.
Several hours later, Kris went up to the lab, being careful to knock this time.
Kris slowly opened the door.
"Professor? ...Professor Elm? ...Uh, Sir?"
A whimpering noise came out of nowhere.
"...Please don't kill me..."
"Um... Professor? I'm here for that errand you called for..."
The professor stood up from behind a trashcan. He was twitching and shaking like never before. It was a minor miracle he wasn't bouncing across the floor like a wind-up toy.
Kris decided to speak up. "Look, I'm sorry about the machine-"
"It's o-ok-k-k-kay," said an incredibly rattled Professor Elm. "Th-that's not t-t-too hard to rep-place... Hey... c-could you go on over to M-m-m-mr. P-pokémon's place?"
"H-h-he's an ac-cquaintance of mine... His house is j-just alo-long the path to your s-school..."
"I'm home-schooled, remember? I almost set Mr. Dervish on fire, and now he screams like a girl and runs every time he sees me."
"Oh. Just go t-t-to Cherrygrove... Then take th-the north exit... and g-go east at th-the fork. It's th-th-the only house until the next... town."
"All right, then. I'm off-"
"Huh? What's up?"
"Y-you can't go out like that!"
Kris was a little confused.
"I-i-i mean unprotected! Unprotected!"
"What kind of girl do you-" asked Kris before she was cut off.
"I MEAN FROM WILD POKÉMON!"
"Please... take... a starter pokémon. There's a Cyndaquil, a Totodile, and a Chikorita on that shelf. Please... take one of them."
Kris then walked up to the desk.
"Eenie, meenie, miney-IWANTTHISONE!!!"
She promptly cracked open the Poké ball which held a Totodile.
"...Good choice..." said Elm shortly before the Totodile clamped onto his arm. "AAAAAAUGH!!! ...somebody get me a crowbar... ...ouch..."
After Kris searched around a bit, she found something suitable.
"Hey, will this oar suffice?"
She searched a little longer, and she found a car jack.
A Tauros prod.
A tire iron.
Professor Elm's favorite spatula.
And so on and so forth, with all manner of equipment, ranging from crutches to can openers to even a lab assistant, until Professor Elm finally snapped.
"IN THE NAME OF GOD, LADY, IT's RIGHT OVER THERE!!!" he hollered, pointing at a tool shelf with his free hand.
<Meatmeatmeatmeat-huh? Probably nothing. Meatmeatmeatmeatmeatmeatmeat...>"
Kris turned her head to the shelf.
"Who would have thought..." she said, picking up the crowbar. "You hide things in the weirdest places, professor." she said, prior to attempting to pry open Totodile's jaws.
"<Meatmeatmeatmeatmeatmeat-Hey! Let go! Let go! Alright! I'm gonna let go of him, just put down the crowbar! LET GO ALREADY! LET GO!!!>"
Eventually, Kris took the large hunk of steel out of Totodile's mouth, right after Elm got his arm free.
"That was relatively easy..."
"Speak for yourself, Kris."
"<Just get me some meat...>" the Totodile said as Kris gave it a pat on the head.
"Aww, who's an adorable little cold-blooded flesh-eating reptilian? Yes you are, yes you are!"
"<Tonight, while you sleep...>"
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said Professor Elm. "That thing's got a slight Napoleon complex."
"<I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!! BOW DOWN TO ME!!!>"
"Anyplace where I can go get him treats?
Totodile's mouth began watering.
"Might I suggest the butcher shop?"
After giving her brain a long enough pause to process the information, Kris got a little scared about what she had gotten herself into. Meanwhile, Totodile was bouncing off the walls.
"<Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!>"
"All right, I'm off." said Kris. Then, looking at the vicious man-eating beast that had become her friend, she decided that she was gonna name it Beartrap.
As soon as the two walked out, Professor Elm got his head back together.
"Well, back to work, I guess..." he said as he put on his gas mask.
Last edited by J. S. Köttbulle; 18th July 2009 at 11:28 PM.
19th March 2009, 11:27 PM #2
Sig By Blue Dragon
Re: Fantastic Voyage!? (Game, PG)
I always knew Totodile was a bit insane. Great fic!
5th April 2009, 10:59 PM #3
Re: Fantastic Voyage!? (Game, Starter + Rival ship, PG)
Contains elements from Berlin's "Take My Breath Away," Ted Rogers' "Dusty Bin," and The Dead Milkmen's "The Badger Song."
Kris walked out of the lab and instantly noticed something was amiss. She heard a radio next to Elm's lab. It was playing her mother's favorite song, but different, somehow.
♪Watching every motion in my foolish lover's game,
On this endless ocean, finally, lovers know no shame.
Turning and returning to some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion as you turn around and say
'Take my breath away.'♫
This version was incredibly creepy. It seemed more fit for a post-apocalyptic warzone than a major motion picture. But, against her better judgement, she approached the wall. A red-haired boy was staring through a window.
♪'Take my breath away.'♫
"Uh... hello? Sir?"
♪Watching, I keep waiting, still anticipating love,♫
The boy was unresponsive.
♪Never hesitating to become the fated one.♫
"<Nothing to see here, kid. Let's go.>" replied Beartrap softly.
The boy turned around. His piercing, contemptuous glare sent shivers down her spine.
♪Turning and returning to some secret place to hide.♫
"What... do you want?" he said angrily.
Kris was completely incapable of communication, frozen stiff, rooted to the spot.
"WHAT do you WANT?" the boy reiterated.
Kris was scared as all get-out. Whatever she had in mind to say was now completely and totally erased by the look in the boy's eyes.
♪Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say♫
"If you don't want anything," he said, picking up Kris. "Get OUT!"
♪ 'Take my breath away'♫
The next thing Kris knew, she was thrown several feet, landing in front of the professor's lab, a shivering Beartrap clinging to her leg.
"<Make it go away, mommy, MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!>"
Kris got up and dusted herself off. Her first thought after regaining the capability to think was, loosely translated,
What the heck was that?
Fortunately, nobody noticed the Incredible Flying Teenager, or else there would have been a different story entirely. She went out on her first trip out of town since the Earl Dervish incident.
Meanwhile, down Route 29, the Pokémon were talking about all manner of things, from the stock market to golf.
"<The President! Really?>"
"<Uh huh, uh huh!>"
"<Well, you'd think he'd know better than to hang up on the Pope-HUMAN!!!>" shreiked a Sentret, having seen Kris' approach. All of the Pokémon knew what to do and ran into the tall grass.
"<Now don't strike until you see the veins of her ankles.>"
"<Whose?>" asked a lower-level Pokémon. "<The girl's or the Totodile's?>"
"<The girl's, you- Wait up, did you say Totodile!? Keep quiet! It'll try to eat us!>"
Beartrap was listening in on the ordeal. He knew something was up.
"<Shh. I sense we are not->"
Kris was already bent over a cute little Sentret, giving it a scratch behind the ears.
"<Alone. Jeez, lady, have you any dignity?>"
Meanwhile, a group of Pokémon were thinking the same thing.
"<Jeez, Sentret, have you any dignity?>"
Eventually, they began huddling, not unlike your average football player. A Ledyba gave them the plan.
"<All right. We gang up on her all at once. Hang on tight, but no biting, understood?>"
"<Understood.>" the group echoed back in unison. Then they proceeded to hang on to whatever free space on Kris they could find. By the time everyone had climbed on, Kris was a writhing mass of beasts, flopping around on the field like a tortured Gyarados with limbs.
"AAAUGH! HELLP! BEARTRAP! GET 'EM OFFA ME! HEEEEEEELLLLLP!"
Beartrap, on the other hand, wasn't interested.
"♪<She had it coming! She had it coming!
She only had herself to blame,
If you had been there, If you had seen it,
I'm sure that you would have done the same!>♫"
Scrambling to find a good incentive, Kris then hollered out, as loud as she could. "I WONDER WHO (gasp) WILL TAKE CARE (gasp) OF BEARTRAP!? HOPEFULLY NOT THAT VEGAN (gasp) WHO LIVES NEXT DOOR!"
Beartrap took some time to think this over. "<Wait up. Human mauled by Pokémon... equals me under care of vegan... equals... NO MEAT!!! HANG IN THERE, HUMAN, I'LL SAVE YOU!!!>"
Beartrap lunged into the fray, clawing his way through the giant mass of Pokémon, hollering "<YOU AIN'T GONNA KILL OFF MY MEAL TICKET!>"
The Pokémon, usually a lot more civilized, began swearing up a storm. Among the more... family friendly... things they said were:
"<Hey, we're not gonna kill her!>"
"<I swear to God, I'm not rabid! Cross my heart!>"
"<It's a cookbook!>"
"<Hey, watch the fangs!>"
Within roughly ten minutes, all the Pokémon that were still able to stand were sent running for the hills. Those that couldn't, well, they got a little help. In the memorable words of the Ledyba who organized the attack:
"<I CHANGED MY MIND! I DON'T WANNA FLY!!!>"
Kris got back up on her feet, straightened out her hair, and slowly but surely staggered her way forward.
"Hey, thanks, Beartrap. You were a big help."
"<You're welcome.>" replied Beartrap. "<Now where's my treat?>"
"Just for this, I'm taking you to the Cherrygrove butcher."
"<You're the BEST!>" replied Beartrap, clinging forcefully to Kris' leg throughout the whole trip.
It took a while to get to Cherrygrove, as Kris was in a little pain following the the attack of the Pokémon. Even if they were all scared of her, there was still the fact that she couldn't go too fast until the bruises healed.
Eventually, she made it to Cherrygrove An old man walked up to her the instant she reached city limits.
"Would you like a tour of the town? I'll give you something nice when we're done."
Kris could feel her flesh crawling.
"I'm sorry, sir, I have a Totodile clinging to my shin, and it won't let go until I get it some meat."
"I've got some meat..." said the old man, sounding progressively creepier and creepier.
"No, I was figuring fresh meat. Where's the butcher shop?"
"I know where it is..."
"Could you give me directions?"
"Yeah, I can give you directions..."
At this point, Kris was just too scared and ended up running off, at a surprising speed for a lady with a Totodile stuck fast to her leg.
"Aww, shucks." said the old man.
After roughly 10 minutes of aimless running, she bolted into the local store, missing the door a couple times along the way.
"Hi, welcome to the-" a bewildered greeter said, shortly before getting dashed past at full speed. "...store..."
She finally made it to what looked like a butcher shop, exhausted. Then she looked up and realized that, yes, this was where they sold the meat.
"Hi. You got any steak?"
"It's for the Totodile, isn't it?" asked the butcher.
"Why, yes, it's for the-" Kris looked down at her leg and noticed that something was missing. "Hey, where's Beartrap?"
Kris ran out to town. She bolted all over the place, leaving no stone, resident, or transportation vehicle unturned. She had to find Beartrap, because who knew what damage it could do while she was gone. Heaven forbid Kris should end up on a tabloid. After scouring the town enough times over, she noticed her beloved pet in the town square. It was trying to kill a Spearow.
"No, Beartrap, the butcher does not demand a sacrifice."
The two returned to the butcher, who still had the steak ready. Shortly after, Kris paid the tab for the beef, which was then immediately scarfed down by Beartrap with little more than a belch. Beartrap was barely visible to the naked eye, a speeding blur of blue scales, red ridges, and white teeth. Police speed radars within range went up in smoke. Using the word "berserk" to describe the Totodile's then state of mind would be like using the phrase "post-traumatic stress disorder" to describe the medical condition known as Shell Shock. In roughly two seconds, Beartrap had devoured the entire steak.
"Feisty little bugger, ain't he?" asked the butcher.
"You don't know the half of it." replied Kris.
Right after she left, she was confronted by the same creepy old man.
"I've got something for you..."
"I'm sorry sir, I've gotta-"
And then the old man took a microchip out of his pocket. "Here. It's a map card. So you always know where you are." he grinned.
Kris took the chip from the elderly person and put it in her Pokégear with a click. She the thanked the old man and ran off before he could speak.
The old man went over to his house only to realize that the map card that he meant to give Kris was still there.
Kris walked her way up Route 30, only to discover a pair of battlers. She decided to take the other route and hope for the best, despite Beartrap's wishes. In little time, she came to a house. She decided to do a little pointless espionage. She put her ear to the door and listened in to see if this was the one, despite the lack of other houses nearby. The only thing evident so far was that the person was channel-hopping.
"Why was there BACON IN THE SOAP?!"
"♪The badger's your friend!
Make friends with the badger!♫"
"You don't want this, but you do want this." *snap*
"♪Dusty, dusty, Dusty Bin,
We all love your innocent grin!♫"
The person of the house changed the channel one last time before deciding to stick with it.
"♪The misadventures of FLAAP-JAAAAAACK!♫".
Kris had finally gotten bored and decided to break in. Her attempts were thwarted only by the fact that the door was unlocked, and a James Bond-style heist was unnecessary. So she stuck with opening the door and walking in.
"Mr. Pokémon, I presume?" she asked to the resident, who was dressed as a Blastoise, had a Ditto beanbag chair, was wearing a Venusaur hat, and was watching The Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack on a Qwilfish TV.
"...Elm sent me."
Mr. Pokémon was unalarmed.
"I figured as much. Not many people come here on their own. Anyway, I wasn't expecting another guest."
"Another guest?" asked Kris before noticing somebody at the fridge. Whoever it was turned around.
"Hello. Professor Elm sent you, you say?" asked the guest.
"Yes, uh... Sir."
"What is your name?"
"Uh... I'm Kris."
"Hello... Kris. My name is Professor Oak. I'm from Kanto."
Kris was ecstatic.
"Professor Oak!? THE Professor Oak?!"
"The professor Oak indeed. Now I had heard some pretty big news, so came on over. Who would have thought that Pikachu was an evolved Pokémon?"
Mr. Pokémon finally spoke up. "Which reminds me. I have a package for Professor Elm. Could you please hang on to this egg?" Mr. Pokémon then promptly handed her a large egg which appeared to have been doodled upon by a young child. She set it down on a table after seeing Professor Oak fish up something that looked like a cross between a laptop and a paperback book.
"I think you might want this." replied Professor Oak. "It's a Pokédex. It'll give you extensive data on Pokémon you've seen or caught. It'll probably be useful for research, and that'll make Elm happy."
Kris turned on the Pokédex and looked under "Totodile." She took a good look at the page.
This rough critter chomps at any moving object it sees. Turning your back on it is not recommended. Its well-developed jaws are powerful and capable of crushing anything. Even its trainer must be careful.
And at the end of the Dex entry, she was pretty sure she saw:
Good luck. You'll need it.
Kris shuddered a bit before stuffing the Pokédex in her pocket and picking up the egg. She was just out of the door when her Pokégear rang. It was Professor Elm, who was more panicky than usual. She set down the egg and picked up the phone.
"Kris!? Are you there!? ARE YOU THERE, KRIS!?"
"WE GOT A THIEF! A THIEF BROKE INTO MY LAB!!! And what's worse..."
Kris had a little trouble imagining what could be worse.
"...He touched all my things!"
Last edited by J. S. Köttbulle; 25th April 2011 at 01:14 PM.
4th June 2009, 11:40 PM #4
Re: Fantastic Voyage!? (Game, PG)
Contains elements from "Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job"
"All of them?" asked Kris.
"Yes! Even the Fnorkatron 5000 and the RXQ-4179 2/3!"
Kris didn't know what either one was, but she knew that Professor Elm didn't name names unless there was something up.
"I'm on my way. Any news on who it was?"
"My Gafshurg 68, my precious, precious Gafshurg 68... HOW WILL I REMOVE ALL THE FINGERPRINTS!?"
Clearly, Elm was not in the state of mind to speak on the thieviery, but Kris had a suggestion on how to catch the thief.
"Don't. The cops dust for those, and they can find the thief based on them."
"DUST!? ON MY MACHINERY!? NOT A CHANCE! I'M GETTING THE SWIFFER DUSTER, AND I'M-"
Kris then hung up. "Good luck, old man." she said under her breath along the way back.
As she walked down Route 30, she noticed the trainers. This time it was not their Pokémon duking it out, but them. The boys were rolling on the floor, beating each other senseless, and completely and totally ignoring the rest of the world as their pet Rattata began speaking to one another.
"<I say, that was a good fight.>"
"<My thoughts exactly. Hey, ya wanna go to that tree over there and eat some berries?>"
One of the two Rattata eyed the scuffle.
"<Yeah, why not. I don't think they'll be leaving that place anytime soon. Last one up's a rotten egg!>" The Rattata then scuttled towards the tree.
"<Hey!>" the other replied before bolting after the first.
The Rattata had scuttled up the fruit tree, which was chock full of berries. Beartrap decided to withhold comment, knowing that Kris would reach for a fruit.
Meanwhile, the two Rattata in the tree were relaxing their worries away.
"<Now this is the life-HUMAN!!!>"
Kris, upon hearing the startled cry of a Rattata, screamed loudly and twitched noticably.
"<What do we do? What do we do!?>"
"<Okay, we don't have to follow the code, since we're already somebody's pets. But whatever you do, don't bite the hand! The last thing we want is to be blamed for another one of those stinkin' plague epidemics!">
It took a little while, but as soon as they realized that Kris was just getting some fruit and Kris realized that the Rattata were trying to relax, they decided not to maul her "<as long as she doesn't take any of the really big ones.>"
After she took two fruits from the tree, she kneeled over and gave one to Beartrap. It wasn't meat, but Beartrap thought it was fine just the same.
Every once in a while, the four eyed the battle, which was now a cloud of dust with limbs and expletives popping out of it from time to time. Totodile seemed the most entertained of all.
"<I love this show...>"
And so they watched the scuffle, which dragged on for quite a while before the two realized they had something in common.
"Hey, my Rattata's missing!" the two said in unison before proceeding to scour the land.
"<Dang it, they're on to us!>" the Rattata said before charging down the branches and ramming into their owners hard enough to leave bruises.
"Oh, Rattat-OUCH! There you are!" they both said, sitting down and petting their beloved sharp-toothed rodentia. Kris decided to get some more intel on Rattata. She checked the Pokédex.
Living wherever there is food available, it ceaselessly scavenges for edibles the entire day. This Pokémon's impressive vitality allows it to live anywhere. It also multiplies very quickly.
Kris decided to withhold comment as she went down Route 30, careful not to bump into any more tanglers, even if she did see someone trying to get an infuriated Pokémon out of her shirt.
Back at Cherrygrove, the old man was up to his old tricks again. Kris could hear his voice near the edge of town.
"Hello, young man. Would you like to take a tour of the town? I'll give you something-" *WHAM!* "...ouch..."
"I'm not interested, creep. And if you pull that on me again, you will need surgery."
Kris recognized this voice. This was the redhead who was standing at Elm's window. She ran to the scene, hoping he didn't do too much damage. It seemed that the boy was quite familiar with her.
"...Weren't you the kid who was staring at me earlier? Never mind. I don't really give a care. Just get out of my way, or I will force you to."
"I'm not leaving until I get some answers!"
"I don't want questions!" the boy said, forcefully hurling a Pokéball to the ground. "I want progress! Chikorita! Go!"
Chikorita had evidently less gusto then its trainer, as it was scared out of its wits.
"<...Please don't make me go through with this...>"
The boy didn't seem to care. "Mow these buffoons to the ground for me, will you?"
Beartrap was a little disheartened.
Kris looked down at her pet.
"What is it, Beartrap?"
"<I don't think I can do this...>"
Kris could tell her pal was disheartened, but getting rid of this boy was job one.
"I'm sorry, Beartrap, but we have to do this. Beartrap, scratch."
"<I'm sorry...>" said Beartrap as he clawed half-heartedly at his opponent.
"<FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!>" Chikorita sailed towards Beartrap at full speed, causing it to bounce across the floor.
"<That's it, the kid's gloves are off!>" shouted Beartrap, lunging claws-first at its foe before Kris could even give the command. Chikorita knew what this meant. It would have to fight for its survival. It rammed its foe with the force of a Tokyo train, taking several claws to the side as a result. Beartrap continued mindlessly scratching away at its target, which was now bashing away at what had now transcended the status of "threat." And so they continued, no longer under the command of their trainers, but following the primal instinct that they once had in the wild. Both of their owners were hollering at their Pokémon, Kris hoping Beartrap would regain its senses, her enemy demanding it of Chikorita. Emotions were running high, and that kid playing Wagner standing next to them sure wasn't helping.
By the end of this chaotic brawl, the humans were exhausted, just shy of punching each other out. Their pets were tottering side to side, struggling to even attack, much less aim. The kid playing Wagner was now staring intently, dusting his glasses every once in a while to get a good look.
But in the end, the Chikorita was the one to fall. The fear and hatred in the boy's eyes was painful to watch as he saw his Pokémon slowly plummet to the ground.
"<I'm sorry...>" the Chikorita said, hoping that even if its owner couldn't understand it, he would at least show it some mercy.
The boy did quite the opposite. After ordering his Chikorita to get up several times, he gave up and began hollering chain after chain of swear words, pausing only to breathe. The boy's expletive-laden speech would have made George Carlin want to pin him down and wash his mouth out with soap. When he finally stopped swearing, Kris decided it was safe to start demanding information.
"All right, what's up? Are you the thief who broke into Elm's lab?"
"What's it to you?"
"I want answers! Were you the thief?"
The boy gave her the same menacing glare that he gave her just before he picked her up and threw her. She decided she would start simpler.
"A-all right then, what's your name?"
"*sigh* If you insist on drawing some form of knowlege or another from thhis scuffle, then let it be this: I go by the name of Silver. Weakling." he said, looking down on his Chikorita and dropping its Pokéball upon it before trudging away. The crowd that had gathered around the fight was saying all kinds of things, but the most memorable thing, uttered by the kid who was listening to Wagner, was "Wait 'till I tell my sis!"
Kris ran down Route 29 and bolted through the door to Elm's lab with enough force to knock down a wall before coming to a screeching halt, just barely not trampling the police cop who was now speaking with Elm.
"We're sorry, sir, we can't find any traces of the perpetrator. Not a fingerprint in sight."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? HE DOVE IN HERE THROUGH THE OPEN WINDOW, GRABBED A BALL, TOUCHED ALL MY STUFF, AND RAN!"
"At which point you got out the Swiffer Duster."
The cop shook his head and looked down. Just like all the other times. Elm, you blooming idiot. "I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do for you, unless you have any clue on his appearance."
"He was a young male with long red hair and piercing eyes!"
The cop gave a sketch of the boy, at which point, Kris was familiar with him.
"Hey, why are you drawing a picture of Silver?"
The cop was alarmed. "You recognize him?"
"Yeah, he picked me up and threw me just outside this lab, and I'm pretty sure he punched out an old man at Cherrygrove."
"Oh. Thank you very much. We'll be on the lookout for him. Professor Elm, we've done all we can. Good bye, sir."
The police cop walked out of the lab, much to Professor Elm's surprise.
"But, but officer..."
Kris then remembered the egg.
"Hey, Elm, I got the thing from Mr. Pokémon you wanted."
"Oh, you got the egg?"
Kris put the egg on one of the desks and showed him the Pokédex she got from Professor Oak. He fell to the ground on the spot. As he stood up and dusted himself off, he finally spoke.
"...Oh. Where... did you get that?" He said, twitching with joy.
"Profesor Oak. Why?"
"O-kay... Where do you want me to go?"
"I don't know, maybe go out to Cherrygrove, hang around with your neighbors, take on the Pokémon League-"
"THE POKÉMON LEAGUE!? OHTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!" Kris shouted, hanging off of Elm like an anaesthetized parasite.
"All right, all right. Egad, Kris. First up, you should break this to your mother. I remember what happened last time some kid didn't clear this with his mom." he said, muttering unintellegibly.
Kris ran over to her mother's house.
"Hey Mom! Guess what!"
"What is it, honey?"
"Profesor Elm just referred me to the Pokémon League!"
"That's great! Are you headed, hon?"
"Yeah, I think I'll go for it. Maybe I'll make it big."
"So, when are you leaving?"
"All right, then, Kris. You up for burgers?"
"<Burgers!?>" Totodile was excited.
"No, not you, uhhhh...."
"His name's Beartrap."
"Not for you, Beartrap."
"I'm up for burgers, thanks!"" replied Kris.
"All right then. I'll stop by the local joint."
Within a little while, her mother was back, a bag of fast food in each hand. She set the burgers at the counter, where Kris picked up hers.
"Hey, thanks, mom."
"You're welcome. So, off to face the league tomorrow, huh?"
"Well, you should rest up. Why not stay here for the night?"
The two ate away at their burgers, staying up well into the night to watch one of Kris' favorite shows, even singing along at points.
♪If I could travel in time sometime,
I'd travel to the end of all of mankind!
And there I'd meet a brother of mine.
We'd travel through space
In his crystal ship.
We'd pass through the stars
And over the moon...♫"
Kris slept easy that night. She didn't even have to turn on the fan.
Last edited by J. S. Köttbulle; 9th November 2010 at 01:16 AM.
8th June 2009, 04:32 PM #5
Re: Fantastic Voyage!? (Game, PG)
Random thread revival to say that this is the root of all that I find epic.
Very much the same with Beartrap and following the game, and everything in general.
(And that you should continue it.
Originally Posted by Alaska
15th June 2009, 02:56 PM #6
Re: Fantastic Voyage!? (Game, PG)
Rest assured, I have another chapter in the works, even as I write this. Please bear in mind, though, that this isn't my only project.
15th June 2009, 04:36 PM #7
Re: Fantastic Voyage!? (Game, PG)
I mean, it's very original for a game-following story.
Even if it wasn't, it's still original and funny. Glad to know that it's still going on.
Originally Posted by Alaska
26th June 2009, 04:33 AM #8
Re: Fantastic Voyage!? (Game, PG)
this is one of the funnyest fics ever!!
i love her tododile!!