EVERYONE: FAN-FICTION [Non-Pokemon]

Disclaimer: This story makes no sense, and more than likely, never will. It contains many nerdy elements that should not be taken together at one time. You have been warned.

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Definition of FAN FICTION
: stories involving popular fictional characters that are written by fans and often posted on the Internet —called also fan fic.

Definition of FANDOM
: the state or attitude of being a fan.

With that presented, I give you-

RaccoonGoon’s
FAN-FICTION

The once pristine city of Grandville was now in ruins. Pillars of smoke billowed from the massive piles of rubble that used to be buildings. All the residents had either been killed or had fled right into the underground bunkers. The entire West side of the now destroyed city was nothing but a wall of pure fire, casting an orange glow over the zone.

Standing in the center of the madness was a large, dark blue and white robot. It seemed to be wearing a dark blue Nazi storm trooper helmet, only it had two, yellow antenna protruding near the brim. The mechanical contraption also had two ultra-sharp blades under it’s wrists, battle worn and scratched from leveling the city.

Deep within the torso of the robot, Black Manta was at the helm, examining his handiwork. His glowing yellow eyes scanned the display screen in front of him. Destroying the city was too easy.

“Not even Aqua-Man can stop me now. Ever since I stole Neo Germany’s Shadow Gundam, I’m invincible!”

The Gundam started to step away, towards the next town, but was halted by small laser fire coming from it’s left. Black Manta turned, causing the Gundam to mimic his movements.

“What was-”

Charging full speed at the large robot was a Porsche, red and blue stripe running down the center. Leaning out the driver side window was a man wearing a worn, nicked up helmet with a “T” visor. The green paint was fading in spots and an antenna was presents. The armored man was holding a fire-arm with a broad wooden stock, shooting at the massive Gundam.

“Feh. Resistance.”

Black Manta spun around and thrust his left arm downwards, causing Shadow Gundam to do the same thing and swing it’s blade down at the approaching man and his car. Before the blade hit, the man jumped out of the car and flew up in the air with the jetpack on his back, still shooting at the Gundam.

The car instantly swerved out of the way and unfolded on itself. Tires rotated inside the engine, the bumper split in two, and the doors out-folded like wings. After a few seconds, another robot stood, but was still no where near the size of Shadow Gundam.

Black Manta could hardly believe it. Had that car just transformed?

The man flew over to the robot with the blue visor and landed on his shoulder.

“You take the back, Jazz. I’ll get close.”

Jazz nodded and grinned, drawing his weapon.

“Gotcha, Fett.”

With that, Boba Fett flew towards the Gundam’s head, still shooting at it. Meanwhile, Jazz ran around Shadow Gundam, dodging it’s attempts to squash him. Inside, Black Manta’s rage was building.

“They’ll have to try harder than that.”

A shrill beeping sounded, alerting the super villain of the approaching object.

A large bladed arm swung at Boba Fett, who skillfully dodged it, before halting and hovering in front of Shadow Gundam’s face.
“Never seen a droid like you.”

The Mandolorian tilted forward ever so slightly and launched the missile atop his jetpack, sending it crashing into the robots green left eye, sending burnt metal and glass scattering around the miniature explosion.

Inside the cock pit, Black Manta let out an agonizing scream as a sharp, deep pain racked his left eye as well. The yellow lens in his helmet crackled and also burst. Regaining his composure, he put his arms straight out at his side before slapping his hand together. Shadow Gundam obeyed, and also tried to flatten Boba Fett, who again, avoided the mechanical hands.

Before another strike could be issued, a similar jolt of pain rang through Black Manta left leg, behind the knee. The display screen switched to the scene of Jazz firing multiple laser round into the Gundam’s leg. Apparently, this robot’s gun actually hurt.

“Enough of this…..”

Manta gritted his teeth, stood on his now throbbing left leg, and spun around in a swift motion. Shadow Gundam did the same, as it’s right heel connected to Jazz’s body before he could move out of the way, sending him flying a few meters away.

Jazz rebounded off the ground, transformed into his vehicular mode, and accelerated off a rocky out cropping in the shape of a ramp. Now air-borne, he transformed yet again, right arm out reached, and punched Shadow Gundam square in the chest, causing the titan to stumble backwards slightly.

Inside, Black Manta held in a yell and clutched his now bruised chest.

Jazz landed and jumped underneath the Gundam, between it’s two massive feet, and fired a round straight up inbetween the robot’s legs. The cod piece exploded, sending the Gundam to it’s knees, along with Black Manta who was screaming in pure agony.

Boba Fett cut the power to his jetpack and landed behind the momentarily crippled robot.

“Now’s the chance.”

He turned toward his Cybertronian ally.

“When I give the signal, blast it’s head off.”

He flew towards the Gundam once again, arms outstretched. As soon as he was within range, he shot a small cable from his wrist, which held a small barbed hook attached to it. The hook magnetized and burrowed into Shadow Gundam’s neck. Inside, Black Manta slapped at his neck, which was now ringing with pain.

Now firmly attached, the bounty hunter began to fly circles around the large robot’s head. Again and again and again until the cable was wrapped tightly around Shadow Gundam’s head. Boba Fett tightened the cable, then looked back at Jazz.

“Now!”

Jazz complied and aimed his ion rifle at the Gundam’s head, lining it up square with his internal sights.

“Prepare to be scrap….”

Black Manta noticed the gun pointed at him, and instantly sprang up, dragging the attached Boba Fett along with him.
The blast fired by Jazz missed it’s mark, and hit the cable instead, severing it, disconnecting Boba Fett.

“My bad, Boba my man!”

The loose cable fell off of Shadow Gundam’s face, which in turn relieved the stress on Black Manta’s own head.

“Now then, you putrid fools….try to beat this!”

The thrusters on the Gundam’s back flared to life, allowing it to hover high in the air. Before a counter strike could be made from Jazz or Boba, multiple Shadow Gundam’s started to materialize out of thin air.

“Holograms!” Jazz yelled out before firing at the Gundam’s hoping to hit the original one.

Boba followed suit, as he too began to blast at the holograms while he was also hovering amongst the robots. Slowly, the holograms began to fade, and only a handful were left. Suddenly, the copy with the glowing eyes vanished into thin air in the blink of an eye, before appearing behind Boba Fett.

Before the Mandolorian could react, he was snatched by the huge metal hand, trapping him.

“Caught you now…You’ll be putty soon.”

Black Manta tightened his out stretched fist, allowing for the Gundam’s hand to tighten as well.

Boba tried to use his jet pack to escape the clutches of the fiend, but upon being grabbed, it was crushed in the robot’s palm.

“Can’t escape me, green man.”

Boba grunted before trying to wriggle himself some space.

“You underestimate me, droid.”

Suddenly, the Gundam’s hand burst into flames, causing it to lose it’s grasp. The origins of the flame were the small nozzle on Boba’s wrist. The Mandolorian fell, not being able to use his jetpack any longer. Luckily, Jazz ran and caught him right in time.

Shadow Gundam’s right hand was now mostly destroy, and Black Manta’s right hand was nothing sizzling and popping, imitating being on fire. Black Manta felt the flames tear through his flesh, felt the burns forming. He clutched his right hand in his left. He couldn’t take much more of this. They were winning, and he was running out of tricks.

Crossing his arms in front of his chest and putting his legs together, he spun around once, which caused Shadow Gundam to take the same stance. He then spun around once counter-clockwise, which sent the Gundam into a mad twirl, faster and faster it sped up, until it was nothing more that a towering, metal, bladed tornado.

The Autobot fired at this new attack, but the laser blast was simply deflected due to the extreme rotation.

“How do we stop that thing? Not even Cybertronium Tech hurts it now!”
The Gundam turned twister veered towards the duo, destroying everything in it’s path. The two quickly dodged, but the Gundam circled back around and aimed for another pass. Again, the duo dodged the killer attack. Instead of trying again, Shadow Gundam took a wide turn around the two and continued to spin. Soon, the Autobot and the bounty hunter were trapped, and with every rotation, Black Manta and his Shadow Gundam were closer to the pair.

“This isn’t good, Jazz.”

Black Manta let out a raspy laugh.

“Fools! I’m unstoppable!”

Mere inches from certain death, the Gundam suddenly stopped rotating, causing it’s whole frame to rattle. All three heads turned to see what had halted the attack.

There, holding the Shadow Gundam in a full-nelson head lock, was a large, dinosaur looking robot. It had glaring red eyes, grey sharp teeth, a thick, long drill like tail, and a large ornate chest crest dotted with laser beams.

Inside the robotic beast, in a less advanced cock pit, a man in a completely green outfit, save the gloves, boots, three diamonds and emblem on his chest, sat. His helmet was also green, and his visor had a trim design round it, resembling a dragon’s maw.

Black Manta, having his arms ajar above him, was bewildered. Where did he come from?

“Who- Who are you?”

Even though the molded on mouth didn’t move, the man chuckled.

“I’m the Green ranger. And this is my Dragon Zord.”

And with that, the Dragon Zord released the Gundam, which spun around and slashed at the new foe. The Zord simply put up it’s arm and blocked the blade, and with it’s other arm, he raised it up, allowing small explosive pellets to fly out of it’s finger tips. The small explosives hit all over the Gundam’s body, Black Manta feeling every charge explode.

While the Gundam was recovering from the sneak attack, the Dragon Zord raised it’s other hand and shot another series of explosive pellets at the Shadow Gundam, who took majority of them in it’s left arm.

Meanwhile, down below the battling robots, Jazz and Boba were watching the duel unfold.

“Fett, you know this guy?”

He shook his head.

“No. Never seen a droid like that, either.”

The two returned to watching the battle.

Dragon Zord ran up close to the Gundam and spun around, knocking the Gundam to the floor with it’s powerful tail. Still turned around, the dragon robot lifted it’s tail, where the drill at the tip of it started to spin at a great speed. The drill tail darted down at the Gundam’s chest, but before it could connect, the larger robot’s blades crossed in front of it, blocking it’s advance. The clashing metals sent sparks of energy flying in all directions as they pushed against one another.

Suddenly, Shadow Gundam lowered on of it’s blade ever so slightly, allowing the drill to inch closer, then quickly raised the blade back up, letting it slide into the groove where the drill starts and the tail ends.

“Sorry, Green Ranger. We’ll have to cut this short!”

In a swift motion, he slashed his blades, severing the Zord’s tail, where the drill stopped and fell to the ground.

Taking his chance, Black Manta did the motions, allowing his Gundam to rise up and thrust both of it’s blades at the back of the Dragon Zord. The Green Ranger was to quick, however, as he crouched to his right, dodging one blade. But, the other blade dove through the Zord’s right shoulder.

“Got you and your big lizard pinned.”

“Not quite, villainous scum.”

The Dragon Zord raised it’s right hand and grabbed hold of the blade. Using all of it’s capable might, it tried to snap the blade, but to no avail.

“Ahahaha! Nothing can break these blades, espeicaly a low-tech mech like that!”

Suddenly, a blue laser blast sounded and connected to the blade, shattering it. Black Manta looked at the source of the blast, and saw Jazz, gun smoking, smirk on his metallic face.

Taking his chance, the Green Ranger spun around the Dragon Zord and landed a punch square on Shadow Gundam’s face, taking off a large amount of armor and the mouth plate. Dazed from the punch, Black Manta tried to stabilize the Gundam by using his arms to balance. This only gave the Green Ranger another chance to strike.

The Dragon Zord grabbed onto the Gundam’s arm and ripped them apart from the torso as if they were paper. Black Manta let out a blood curdling scream and his arms shook from the pain, before going numb and falling to his sides. He fell to his knees, not being able to withstand the pain.

The Dragon Zord tossed the arms away as the large emblem on it’s chest started to buzz to life. The red laser dots began to glow and charge as red electricity crackled from deep within the crest.

Upon seeing this, Boba took a few steps forward.

“He’s going to kill him…”

Jazz, standing with his hands on his hips, looked down at his fleshling ally.

“Yeah? And?”

“That thing that’s charging…It’ll leave no remains. I need something to turn in so I can collect the bounty.”

“You mean we tried to stop this guy just so you can get rich, and not to stop a villain?”

“We can discuss that later, friend. Now I just need you to toss me up in front on that laser.”

“Whoa man, you must have a glitch, that’ll blast you to atoms. Y-”

“We don’t have time, do it.”

Jazz scooped up Boba Fett, and threw him into the air toward the Dragon Zord, chest weapon glowing much more intensly now. With blaster in hand, he began to shoot at the glowing crest, much to the Green Ranger’s surprise.

“What is that fool doing! He’s corrupting the charging process!”

A series of flashing lights and sounds sounded in the Ranger’s cock pit, alerting him of the hazard.

Fett was beginning to fall now, his body dipping downward. Still, he fired round after round at the charging weapon, trying to do as much damage as possible. The second before he hit the ground hard, he fired one last shot at the Dragon Zord, hitting it right in the center.

The red energetic electricity engulfed the whole Zord as the charged energy was trapped from escaping through the damaged crest. The weapon exploded, destroying the whole top half of the Zord, engulfing it in fire and energy.

When the smoke cleared, only the Dragon Zord’s leg’s and tail were still intact, which slowly fell over.

Boba Fett stood up and limped back over to Jazz.

“Fett, that cat helped us. Did you really have to…do something that drastic?”

The bounty hunter looked up at the Transformer and simply nodded.

Before anything else was said, they saw the Shadow Gundam try to rise from it’s knees to escape, but before it stood completely, Jazz withdrew his gun and blew the Gundam’s head off, causing the machine to fall back with a thud, defeated.

The two figures stood between the two fallen robots as the fires in the West started to die down. The sun was beginning to dissapear from sight, and somewhere, a bird chirped.

Fett crawled onto the chest of the now obsolete Shadow Gundam and blasted the hinges off the chest plate. Jazz bent down and lifted the heavy playing away, revealing the unconscious Black Manta laying in the housing of wires and buttons.

Fett pulled the villain from the Gundam and hoisted him over his shoulder before looking at Jazz.

“Think you could give me a ride to the nearest space-port?”

“Sure thing, Boba my man.”

As soon as Boba hopped down off the Gundam, small manholes scattered around the decimated city opened, and a literal army of raccoons burst forth, sensing that the intense danger was gone. The woodland creatures looked around, and noticed the two saviors who had defeated the man in the robot that had flattened the town.

The mob of raccoons scurried over to the two and surrounded them. Smelling them, jumping on them, trying anything to show their gratitude.

Jazz picked up a small raccoon and looked at it.

“You mean this whole city was inhabited by raccoons? Well don’t that beat all.”

They finally cleared enough space for Jazz to transform back into a Porsche and have Boba throw his still knocked out bounty in the back seat. The Mandolorian then waved at the swarm of raccoons and got in the driver’s seat as Jazz sped off.
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A few miles out of town, Boba Fett rolled down Jazz’s window.

“Mind if I let some fresh air run through my hair?”

From he console radio, Jazz’s voice replied

“Sure. Just watch the sound system.”

“Thanks.”

Fett slowly lifted his helmet off his head, allowing his curly, slightly poofy hair to get some air. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out some sunglasses, slipping them on.

“Hey, where’d I put that jacket of mine?”

“Behind the passenger seat, I think.”

He reached, and surely enough, the red velvet jacket was there. He quickly swapped it for his jetpack.

“Ah, now this is riding in style.”

A few miles passed in silence before Jazz spoke up again.

“Wait a minute Fett…I’ve seen your face somewhere before……”

The man called “Boba Fett” smiled and placed his arms behind his head.

“Nice to meet you, Jazz…”

Jazz started to chuckle.

“I’m Billy Joel.”

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Epilogue
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The raccoon residents of Grandville were rebuilding their fair city. Buildings were once again rising into the air, roads were being built again, and the Pez stores and Pepsi fountains were re-appearing on every block.

One squad of raccoon construction workers were preparing to clear a large piece of metallic rubble. Their little paws grabbed a hold and lifted it away, and what they discovered made their tails tense up.

There, halfway buried, was the Green Ranger, burnt and charred. He was motionless, and a large crack ran across his visor.

The leader of the construction squad slowly walked towards the body, right up to his head, and leaned in to sniff it. Suddenly, the Ranger’s hand shot forward and wrapped itself around the raccoon’s neck, scaring the other raccoons.

With the raccoon still in his grasp, he slowly looked at the other raccoons.

“Hell comes to Raccoon Town.”

THE END