Fallout Island (Chapter 4 now) - Page 3

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Thread: Fallout Island (Chapter 4 now)

  1. #31
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    Default Re: Fallout Island (Chapter 4 now)

    You gotta stop multidouble-posting. Even for Bumps.

  2. #32
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fallout Island (Chapter 4 now)

    Sorry it's taken me so long to review this. But here we go.

    I think you need more description outside of dialog. I think that part is fine, but you should spend more time showing the reader what's going on in your world. The idea and world of the fic is fantastic, never done on here as far as I can remember. Very original.

    The melted down island angle is really enjoyable. I just think you need a bit more detail to really put this over the top. Spend a lot of time really making the characters memorable and detailed.

    If you do this, I think this could potentially be an award-nominee.

  3. #33
    How do I used tense? SSJ3_Raditz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fallout Island (Chapter 4 now)

    Thanks, Legacy. I'll try to do what you told me.

  4. #34
    How do I used tense? SSJ3_Raditz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fallout Island (Chapter 4 now)

    bump for now

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