Fabricati Diem, Pvnc (Violence, Romance, Outlandish concepts)
Okay so this is My first fic ever, and also my first major writing project in 5 years. This fic idea has been rolling in my head for a while and it has finally managed to leave my brain.
DISCLAIMER:I don't own pokemon, but if I did, I could go to university.
The man stood amidst the rubble of the camp. He was sweating and panting heavily, while surveying the scene. The camp was ruined and there were dozens of bodies everywhere, both human and Pokémon, it looked like a bomb had gone off. He heard a low growl coming from a bipedal dragon with rough blue scales all over its body, except its head which was covered with red scales.
“What is it Druddigon?” he gasped between breaths.
A low rumbling noise was made while Druddigon pointed to one of the corpses. It seemed to have it on edge. The man responded by unsheathing his sword.
The man looked like he was about to enter mid-life, late 30’s early 40’s, and he had short black hair, blue eyes, and a nose that looked broken and had never set properly. He wore brown boots that were quite scuffed, dark forest camouflage pants, a dark grey shirt that was drenched with sweat and a loose charcoal jacket with a logo on the shoulders of a white fang in a red circle. He wore his sword on his back, and the charcoal coloured sheath also had the logo of a fang in a circle.
He unsheathed his sword. It looked like a cross between a katana and a European sword. All of a sudden he heard what set Druddigon on edge, a rustling on the outer edges of the camp. It soon revealed itself to be a small purple rat Pokémon. It heard the dragon growl, so it fled crying “Rattata!”
“humph. I told you to wait for dinner you idiot,”
Druddigon growled a complaint.
“Listen, we were sent here by the Elder. And we’re not stopping until we’ve found what he wanted. And if you were to eat that Rattata, you’d mess up the corpses.”
Druddigon growled but gave in. The man sheathed his sword and went back to work searching the ruined camp, shaking his head. ‘What the hell am I searching for anyway?’ He thought ‘I mean he did tell us to find the camp and secure it. Why did it have to cost so many lives though? Why did those bastards in the Brotherhood of Chaos have to fight us? Now they’re all dead. Even the women and children! Oh Arceus! Why did they commit suicide by attacking us! The guilt of killing the unarmed women and the children is getting to me! ME! And I used to steal without conscience!’ The man shook himself out of his reverie when he heard a loud howl near the camp.
“Oh Hell! Get ready Druddigon, I think we have company!”
Druddigon tensed its body, ready to fight whatever may come. In the shadows outside the camp they could see a dog with horns on its head, flanked by two small Rottweilers.
“Oh Hell! It’s a Houndoom and two Houndour! Looks like we’re fighting Druddigon!”
The Druddigon smiled.
“Okay try to hit Houndoom with a Dragon Claw!”
The dragon started running toward the horned dog, its outstretched claw surrounded with a purple aura. The dog tried to dodge it but was still grazed on its right cheek. The Houndoom if possible looked even angrier.
The Houndoom howled its command to its accomplices, and as one, they charged at Druddigon. They rammed the dragon with a sickening thud. The dragon was in pain however, the dogs seemed to be wincing a little. ‘Thank the trio for Rough skin,’ The man thought. The dogs went at the dragon one at a time. ‘Wait a minute; The Houndoom must be using Beat Up! Oh Hell! Wait, I have an idea!’
“Druddigon! When one of the Houndour get in close, use Revenge!”
Druddigon growled an acknowledgement. One of the Houndour came in for another hit. However, before it could land another blow, Druddigon became cloaked in a brown aura and threw a punch that contained massive energy into Houndour’s throat, and sent it flying into the forest. The other Houndour was chomping down on Druddigon’s leg, trying to get it to submit.
“Don’t give in! Use another Revenge!”
Druddigon became covered in the brown aura again, however, this time he kicked the Houndour in the ribs using his free leg, sending it flying into Houndoom, who proceeded to pick it up by its scruff and tossed it to its side. Houndoom then growled and flames started forming in its mouth.
“Go Druddigon! Finish it with Dragon Claw!”
Druddigon started running, stretching out its right arm, its claw covered in a purple aura. It slashed at the Houndoom, however its claw was caught in Houndoom’s mouth. Blood started trickling down the dog’s jaw, however the fire in the dog’s mouth was unleashed when it clamped down on the dragon’s claw. 'Crap! Its Fire Fang! Wait, Druddigon’s hurt!'
“Druddigon! Use Revenge! Give it everything you have!”
The dragon was in immense pain, but managed to cloak itself in the brown aura. It thumped the dog in the back. The dog released the hand but it was in immense pain. Another thump made sure it was soon knocked out.
‘Hmm that thing was damn tough, I should get it!’ The man reached into a pocket of his jacket and grabbed a capsule the size of a baseball. It was purple with green dots all around it. The man threw it at the unconscious dog.
“Dusk Ball, Go!”
When the ball hit the dog it opened and the dog disappeared in a ball of red energy. The ball then fell on the ground, where a red light lit up and the ball started rocking weakly. Once. Twice. Three times. Then the light flicked off and the ball made a small ding sound. The man then rushed over to the ball, picked it up, then placed it in his right jacket pocket. The man then heard a painful growl.
“Crap! Sorry Druddigon.”
The man then rushed over to the dragon and surveyed the damage. The dragon’s claw was bleeding and burned, the midsection was bruised where the dogs had charged at him. But he was still in one piece and that was what mattered.
Then they heard it. A whimper? Sobbing?
It was enough to get Druddigon tense again, and the man had unsheathed his sword with surprising speed. They then crept up to the source of the sound. It seemed to be coming from an upturned washing basket by one of the corpses. They turned it over.
There was a crying baby boy there.
The dragon and his master quickly jumped back. ‘What the Fuck?!? I thought I killed them all!,’ The man started panicking. ‘Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap! I can’t take care of him! The Elder would probably drown him as soon as I get back with him! What do I do?,’ The baby’s crying became louder. Then Druddigon put his good claw above the baby. It became covered with a purple aura.
The dragon halted, centimeters from the baby’s face. The aura disappeared. Then the baby started cooing at the magical colour show. Druddigon growled a complaint.
“Listen you idiot, this child is pure, he hasn’t been indoctrinated into the brotherhood yet,” The man, still shaking with fury, was intimidating the dragon. The way he was waving his sword probably wasn’t helping either.
“If we take him back to the clan, they WILL kill him! He hasn’t been marked yet, he should be given a chance at life!” The man sheathed his sword, the dragon relaxed a bit.
"We need somewhere to hide him. Somewhere he will be loved, and taken care of. Somewhere the Brotherhood can’t influence him.” The baby was silent. The man checked him, he was fast asleep. 'Wait! I know where he could go. Jack and Maria’s farm! They can’t conceive a child, and they’ll love him like their own. Perfect!’ The man got up and reached into his right jacket pocket produced a red and white sphere, and pointed it at the dragon.
“Druddigon, Return.” A beam of red light shot at Druddigon, engulfing him in a red light, then changing into red energy, he was sucked up by the light into the ball. The man then placed the ball in his right jacket pocket, and reached for a white sphere at his waist.
“Dragonite! Go!” He threw the ball into the air. At the apex of its trajectory, it opened, releasing a white energy that resolved itself into a large orange bipedal winged dragon. The man then tucked in his jacket, zipped it half-way, and then placed the sleeping baby in his jacket. The man then mounted the dragon, careful not to crush the baby.
“Let’s Fly to Jack’s farm.” The dragon nodded, she knew the place well. She started flapping her wings and within seconds they were airborne.
Down on the plains near the small town of Rickford there was a farmer out in his crop field weeding. He pulled a weed out of the ground and was surprised at it. The weed had a purple spherical body and two legs.
“Odd!” it said indignantly.
“Damn Oddish! Stay out of my crop field! That goes for the rest of you!” All of a sudden a couple of similar looking weeds uprooted themselves and ran off.
He then looked at the cloudless sky where he noticed a dark shape spiraling lazily out of the sun. It looked quite familiar.
“Maria! We have company!” he shouted to the farmhouse
“Who is it Jack?” came the reply
“There’s a guy riding on a Dragonite, Who do you think it is?” Yelled Jack the farmer
“I’ll get some tea.” yelled Maria.
The Dragonite was circling lazily around the farm. “Land near the farmhouse,” Said its master. It landed near the farmhouse and the man slowly dismounted. Jack the farmer came near him and they shook hands.
“It’s been a while Jack.”
“Likewise. Maria started to think you were dead.”
“If I was dead, she still wouldn’t be getting my sword.”
Both men laughed as Jack Led the man into the house. They sat at a table laden with a tea set. There was a woman already seated at it.
“Hello Maria.” The man then proceeded to air kiss her.
“Hello you. I suppose you finally want to sell your sword to me.”
“Not a chance! Not after last time!”
All three laughed at the memory of what happened last time Maria tried to obtain his sword.
“I’m actually here on important business that concerns you. Maria, have you had any success at conceiving a child yet?”
“Well… yes, but they always end in miscarriages.” said Maria with a pained expression. Jack reached over and grasped her hand in support. “We don’t know what it is,” Said Jack “Every time we conceive she has a miscarriage. It’s like Arceus himself laughs at us.”
The man thought ‘Perfect!’
“Um, the Elder sent me on a mission. Needless to say it was a failure because the bastard got away. He destroyed a small camp in the forest. Everything was dead there, people, Pokémon and the plants were dying as well,” The man unzipped his jacket and placed the baby boy on the table. ”I found this baby among the rubble of the camp, his mother lying next to him. Please Maria, Jack! Take care of him! Raise him as your own! I can’t do it.”
The Man finished speaking ‘I don’t like lying to them. They’ve done nothing but good for me.’ He then looked up and saw Maria crying into Jack’s shoulder. Jack also had tears rolling down his cheeks and a smile on his face. Jack opened his mouth and then closed it several times as if he were trying to say something but couldn’t. After a while they calmed down enough to talk.
“For years we have tried to conceive only for it to end badly. And in comes one of our oldest friends, waltzing in with the answer to our prayers! We have always wanted children, and you have blessed us with our son! How can we ever repay you for your kindness?”
“Just raise the child as one of your own. And keep him from the Brotherhood’s influence. That’s all I ask.” ‘That’s all I can ask. I can’t tell them I killed the poor thing’s mother for Arceus’s sake!’
Maria then picked up the child, cradling it in her arms. “Jack, he needs a name. How about after our savior here?”
“Yeah! Let’s call it Raven!” said Jack
“No chance,” said Raven “Give him a better name than mine.”
Marie thought about it. Then she whispered her idea to her husband, who nodded.
“I hereby name you Michael Andrew Keel. Welcome into our house and into our heart little Michael.”
Raven let them coo over the child and slipped out. Dragonite was still waiting by the farmhouse. This time he mounted her much quicker.
“Alright Dragonite lets go home. The Elder is going to be furious at our failure.”
Dragonite rose into the sky and began to head to the southern mountains. And the Clan Village.
So how was it? Drop a review! Constructive criticism is appreciated!
- Exclusive thanks to My beta reader IanDonyer!
NB: I am Australian. All spelling is Australian English, AKA Strine.
Re: Fabricati Diem, Pvnc (Violence, Romance, Outlandish concepts)
Well from what I got the fic seems to take place in medieval ages but they have pokeballs so that's up in the air till the fic advances.
Your description is good but you need to add a little more to the battles and the surroundings, you didn't describe the surrounding or the house much though we can pretty much imagine it so I guess it doesn't matter. The battles though lacked some action so if you could try to deepen them it would be good.
The grammar was good I can't really say anything for you to change over there.
When Raven is talking to Jack it's pretty obvious who's talking, some people might have trouble with it so you have to make it clear who is talking from time to time.
Other than that I'll have to say that I'll wait for this to advance it's fresh and it seems to have potential so I'll be checking to see how you fare out.
Re: Fabricati Diem, Pvnc (Violence, Romance, Outlandish concepts)
@Sky Flame Haze the fic is crossed between modern and medieval times. The swords are kept out of tradition as much as necessity. The criticism is much appreciated, and I'll incorporate it into future chapters.
To anyone who reads this, I am in the middle of moving house so the next chapter may be a while.
Re: Fabricati Diem, Pvnc (Violence, Romance, Outlandish concepts)
The characterizations were a little clumsy, it's hard to emphasize with Raven, exactly. More in-depth battles would be nice, and I'd love more description. Show, not tell applies here.
But overall, it's a good, interesting start, continue!
Fabricati Diem, Pvnc (Violence, Romance, Outlandish concepts) CHAP 1
I cry for your pardon, because due to circumstances beyond my control I was only able to get this chapter up today.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon
FOURTEEN YEARS LATER
The grey clouds shattered the calm of the wide bay in the City of Norsee, the northern Water Colony. The damp smelling wind told the Observer that there would be rain soon and he wanted to be gone before he was identified ‘Killing idiots is such a pain,’ he thought ‘Where is Karrus? He was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago!’
The Observer was standing at the end of a stone jetty. He was covered entirely in a tattered grey hooded trench coat, the damp wind tugging at the clasps on his chest and the hood against his face. The man was wearing Midnight blue pants that were tucked into brown boots that were very scarred and looked like they were falling apart. Although the wind was getting stronger by the minute, the observer was not adjusting his position at the end of the jetty, a calm sentinel in a sea of storms.
“Murk! Row! Murk!” the observer heard behind him. ‘About time,’ thought the Observer. He turned slowly around and faced the source of the commotion. A man was standing there wearing a tattered blue shirt that was threatening to be torn off by the wind, a pair of ripped and torn green tracksuit pants and, the Observer noted, No shoes, the feet of the man was completely filthy. The man also had what appeared to be a tattoo of a clawed hand on his neck.
“You are late Karrus.” said the low tone of the Observer
“Sorry Master I was being followed, I only just lost them.” said Karrus in an apologetic tone
“What do you have for me,” said the Observer “If it isn’t important enough you are as good as dead.”
Karrus shivered for the observer’s reputation was well known to him. One instance was the Observer killed someone because the culprit had invited him for lunch instead of giving him information he was after.
“Well Master,” Karrus said “I have some News for you. I have identified someone that knows about the events of the forest raid 14 years ago. She may know what you need to know,” Karrus handed the Observer a folded piece of paper “and from what I can gather she is an old lady so getting the info will be pretty easy.”
“And the other news?” The Observer inquired
‘Damn! How’d he know?’ thought Karrus. The wind was really picking up now, almost to a mini cyclonic level.
“Master,” Karrus yelled over the wind “I’m sorry to say I was identified by one of our enemies.”
“A member of the Dragon clan, goes by the name of Raven. It’s why my clothes are ripped, I barely got away from him!”
“Very well,” said the Observer “You have done me a service with this information, however,” The wind suddenly removed the hood of the Observer and Karrus almost screamed. The Man was bald with scars all over his face, his eyes were deep black like a deep lake at night, and he had a tattoo of a clawed hand on the top of his skull. But the worst thing was his smile. It was the smile of someone who had gone over the edge and loved it. Karrus was too enthralled looking at the man’s face to notice a flash of silver appear in the man’s right hand. “You are now useless to me!” yelled the observer, as he plunged his right hand up into Karrus’ chest, withdrawing it as rain hit his bald head.
Karrus whimpered “Master, please…” He was bleeding profusely from his chest.
The Observer reached into the left trench coat pocket while still grinning. “Dusknoir! Dinnertime!”
He threw the ball from his pocket which opened and revealed a large phantom. Karrus kept whimpering as the phantom’s belly opened up and swallowed him whole.
For Karrus, everything went dark.
Over a thousand kilometers away at a schoolhouse in the small town of Rickford, a fifteen year old boy was taking notes in a book. The boy was slightly built and had a wiry frame, the consequence of living and working on a farm, short dark hair, and Grey eyes. He wore dirty white sneakers with equally filthy socks, and knee length dirty cream coloured shorts that showed off his tanned legs, along with an old green top that wouldn’t look out of place in a shonky shop.
“Keel! Pay attention!” The teacher at the front of the room said
“Sorry Miss Pattison.” Said the boy. His name was Michael Keel.
“Now that Mr Keel has rejoined us, we shall return to the topic at hand,” Miss Pattison paused, surveying the room. “In 4 months the harvest festival will be held. It is there that you will be recruited into one of the many factions: The Fire Knights, The Water Colonies, The Mining Union, The Ice Warriors, The Forest Tribe, The Sky Wardens, The Shock Guards, The Dragon Clan, and,” her face suddenly scrunched into a distasteful expression “The Brotherhood of Chaos.” She suddenly spat after the last word, unnerving some of the students with her viciousness.
She then regained her composure. “Each organization has its own method of training and raising Pokémon. Each member also has an ability. For example, the Sky Wardens can command any Bird pokemon with a single whistle, or the Forest Tribes can revive dead plants and encourage growth in seedlings. Today, Your homework is simple: Research. Then send a letter off to whom you feel you are best suited for. You have 2 weeks to complete this.”
Miss Pattison looked around the classroom, noting that she had their undivided attention “Any Questions?”
A large teen boy with red hair raised his hand. “Yes Thomas?”
“Miss, Why were you suddenly angry when you mentioned the Brotherhood of Chaos?” said Thomas.
She suddenly thinned her lips. Michael became nervous; she only thinned her lips if something was about to happen.
“No, it is too personal. You may find out if you research the Brotherhood.” A collective sigh of relief swept through the room. She glanced at the clock above the door. “Righto kids, take an early mark. Remember, Research and send your letters off!”
Michael packed up his belongings into his bag and left his 2nd row seat. He put his bag on his back and started running home. Luckily the school was near the East Gate, the direction of the Keel Farm and it only took 15 minutes to walk. He made it to the double story farmhouse 10 minutes later, completely out of breath. He saw his mum at the kitchen table talking to his dad. “Hi Mikey, you run home again?” said his father. Michael tried to pull a sarcastic face, but gave up when his mother started laughing, so he went to the kitchen to get some water. The taste of it was so good after so much running he drained the glass quickly and poured himself another glass which was also quickly drained.
He then remembered his homework. “Dad, can you and mum help me with my career choice?”
“Sure, but it will be a while, we spotted some Oddish and Amoongus in the Grepa & Rawst orchards this morning,” said his father Jack. “We don’t want a repeat of last summer where you fell asleep and let a bunch of Wurmple into the orchards. Twice.”
Michael sighed; it would be a long afternoon
As the sun was touching the horizon, the farmer and his son were walking back into the house, the smell of Bouffalant steaks lifting their spirits after 3 hours chasing Oddish and large mushroom like Pokémon called Amoongus out of the berry orchards. The two men sat at the dinner table in the middle of the kitchen.
“So,” started Jack “What’s this about career help?”
“Well dad, basically the Harvest festival is in a few months and… well…”
Michael looked up at his father. He had a stern expression on his face.
“So you think you can run off on some damn adventure, cutting yourself and some poor Pokémon up?”
Michael winced, then looked at his father ‘what the hell?!?’ Jack had a big grin on his face.
“Don’t worry those were your grandfather’s words to me just before I ran off to the festival. I just wanted to see your reaction, it was priceless!” Jack then started laughing.
“Dinner boys! No more career talk until after dinner.” said Maria while she placed three plates with steak and vegetables at the table.
Michael tucked into his dinner, thoughts occasionally drifting to himself in a new uniform, a Pokémon by his side, a sword in his hand raised above his head in a heroic pose. All of a sudden he felt a hand slap him on the back of the head. “Ow!” *clang* “Dammit!” cursed Michael as he tipped his glass accidentally all over the table. “What was that for?”
“Quit daydreaming! We’ve nearly finished our dinner and you’re only halfway done!” said Jack
He finished his dinner and kept thinking about what he would say.
Re: Fabricati Diem, Pvnc (Violence, Romance, Outlandish concepts)
Well while the chapter was awfully short I can definitely say that I like this idea of the multiple factions, it just sort of fits and impresses me a little but that's not exactly good for you, it means I'll be expecting a lot xD