Excuses (Non-Pokemon, original fiction)
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Excuses (Non-Pokemon, original fiction)

  1. #1
    wants Chain of Memories! CrystalGlacia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Twilight Town
    Posts
    823
    Blog Entries
    19

    Default Excuses (Non-Pokemon, original fiction)

    I'm part of our school's Power of the Pen group, and I wrote this for the prompt "Write about something that won't go away." In this case, it was an idea. I think it's pretty good, and I'd just like to get some feedback on what you all think about it.

    Also, I hid a little reference in there. Cookie to the first person to get it. (But Aki already knows about it, so she's out.)

    Enjoy. ^_^


    - - - - - - - - - -


    “Markus, I’ve been thinking for a while.”

    “Wh- Wha?!”

    “Yeah, I know what you’re thinking.”

    I just stood there, speechless.

    “You can go out and be an aide tomorrow at the local high school.”

    I was soon overcome with shock as to how far my short career had taken me. “Th- Thank you!”



    ....And thus began my tenure as a student teacher at the local high school. On my first day, I was assigned to the world history teacher, Mr. Matson.

    On my first day, he saddled me with the task of grading papers. How fun.
    Yeah, right....

    As I sat quietly in the back row with my red pen and stack of worksheets, I got a taste of just how vivid these students’ imaginations are.

    “I was kidnapped by a bunch of little pink mammalian creatures who tried to blast me to the moon!”

    ...Did he seriously think anyone was going to believe that?

    If he did, that’s fail. But that was first period. As the hours passed, the excuses got progressively weirder and just... ‘out there’?

    “My pyromaniacal uncle took my worksheet and set it on fire!” “My mom shredded it along with the rest of her old bills!” “My dog stole it and buried it in the yard!” ....And on and on they went for the entire day. Oh my lord...

    But with each passing excuse, they began to sound less pathetic and more laughable.



    I remember finishing the stack of papers at around lunch period. I didn’t get any more assignments, so I just assumed that all I had to do was be attentive and listen to stuff about the Minoans.

    “The Minoans were among one of the first Greek civilizations, settling on the island of Crete...” Gah, his voice is so flat and monotonous... MAKE IT STOP!!!

    I struggled to hold my eyes open so as not to be rude. I mean, wouldn’t you be offended if you found your audience napping while you talked?

    But nevertheless; I, too succumbed to the fate that had befallen so many of his students throughout the day.

    During my nap, I began to reminisce over my first day. Nothing much... except for the excuses. What a boring day to be an aide. Sigh.

    Before I knew it, it was eighth period and I was feeling awake all of a sudden. Maybe it was because it was the last period of the day? I don’t remember.

    But suddenly, it hit me.

    “The wind blew my paper out of my hands! You gotta believe me, Mr. Matson, please!” It would have been ominously quiet... had it not been for me.

    Still sitting in the back row, I began to laugh. Just laughing at how pathetic the kid was, at how laughable the excuses were, and at how undignified their groveling was. It was impossible for me to resist.

    “Mr. Adams, will you please be quiet?”

    “Hahahahaha! How can I?! It’s so utterly ridiculous!”

    It didn’t matter to me that there was now a room full of teenagers giving that weird guy in the back row WTF stares. But what did matter to me was that I now had an idea for a book thanks to all of those pathetic little excuses.



    As I look back through the notebook with all of the excuses I’ve heard and put up with, I continually work on writing the book I came up with on that fateful day, 1,000 Dumb Excuses.

    “Mr. Adams?”

    “Yes?”

    “My homework got mixed up with my mom’s stuff and she took it to work with her!”

    I suppressed a laugh as I took out my notebook and wrote it down. “Just make sure you bring it in tomorrow, ‘kay?”

    Ah, the joys of teaching.

  2. #2
    Java Girl Barb's Avatar Retired Staff
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    The Peach State
    Posts
    6,414
    Blog Entries
    32

    Default

    I can see the humor in some of the more outrageous excuses but I think it would be more readable if, instead of a series of sentences, you had a paragraph or two.

  3. #3
    wants Chain of Memories! CrystalGlacia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Twilight Town
    Posts
    823
    Blog Entries
    19

    Default

    Okay, thank you.

    I've just noticed that most people in this writing group write stuff in giant blocks of text, and it's just a breath of fresh air for the judges to finally see some broken-up sections.

    So yeah, I'll work on that. ^_^

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •