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  1. #76
    ^^ Safe-T's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Marissa [Chapter VIII]

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsutarja View Post
    be honest, Marissa wasn't that mad. She was cautious and apprehensive of Liv because that's how you're supposed to act. You have just escaped from the facility, people were doing experiments on you and now you're afraid that they'll find you and restrain you once again. Of course, in that situation, she isn't supposed to fall in despair but rather remain wary of the environment around her.
    That is true, I guess it didn't cross my mind at the time. Anyway, keep up the great work. ^^

    COMING SOON!

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    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Marissa [Chapter VIII]

    Yay Marissa's back xD overall her backstory doesn't seem so different from last time aside from the "Original" plotline that was mentioned, which actually makes things a lot better. I honestly didn't think the make up part was that long xD but overall I expected to hear more about Marissa and the organization in this chapter. It actually reminded me a lot of the previous fic since the chapters were similar in nature. I still like her a lot and I'm expecting a lot from here this time around, since you weren't able to completely show her off last time.

  3. #78
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Post Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

    Author's Note: Nothing significant to say regarding the story except that plot starts developing. I'd also like to use opportunity to thank everyone, especially my loyal readers, who nominated "Essence of Life" as the best journey fic. It really means a lot to me and is real confidence boost for a person like me. I hope my writing improves with time so I can justify those nominations, so in the meanwhile, bear with me.

    You guys are the best! ^^

    Tag List: @SaFE; @Starbrow;


    Chapter IX:
    Point of Divergence


    ///


    A boy is running across the colorful, green grassland with three other people – he’s feeling happier than ever to be finally able to share such glorious moment of happiness with his loved ones. The ever-lasting blue sky is stretching endlessly as the boy looks up at the beautifully shaped clouds. He reaches out for the sky.

    His hand feels warm, naturally, it’s held firmly by two other hands. His older brother runs in front of him challenging him to a race – he’s in a very cheerful mood. The boy agrees and starts running after him eagerly.

    A screeching voice out of blue sky petrifies him – suddenly, everything changes.

    The boy turns around several times to realize he’s suddenly all alone. The environment as well as everything around him has become the epitome of grayness – the grass, the sky, the boy – everything has become gray.

    The shattering realization makes him choke up; he begins running forward believing he simply separated from his family somehow. The feeling gets stronger as tears begin building up in his eyes. He seeks for his family.

    “Mom? Dad? Brother?”

    Tears are streaming down his face as he suddenly stumbles upon a group of people. Not everything is lost yet, he thinks, they might help him find his family again. He runs towards them, he keeps running, but the group of people keeps moving farther and farther away by itself as if he’s chasing a rainbow.

    “Wait! Help me!” he shouts desperately.

    The group suddenly stops and draws closer. There is a dozen of people, men and women, dressed in dark clothes of various heights and appearances.

    The boy touches each of them but they pay no attention, they don’t seem to hear his words nor feel his touch. He tries running around the group but the number of people just seems to keep extending. The boy finally gets angry and decides to push his way forward. He runs powerfully through the gap between two persons managing to get through surprisingly easily.

    He walks but the people seem to pay no attention to him.

    The boy suddenly sees the light.

    He smiles upon the sight of his parents and his older brother being together. He approaches them suddenly frowning upon the sight. His mother is crying badly as well as his father; his brother is having hard time containing his tears.

    He spots a strange stone – a stone with his name on it.

    “Gabriel …” he reads it confusingly.

    A hole suddenly opens under his legs forcing the boy to fall. He looks above as people begin filling up the hole. He opens his mouth but no voice is coming out. He suddenly finds himself in darkness with no way to move his body in the cramped coffin. He begins to cry devastated with shock beginning to hit the cover with his hands, he wants to get out; he wants another chance. But it’s futile.

    The boy is already dead.


    ///



    “HELP!”

    I screamed from the bottom of my lungs upon waking up; my body was drenched in freezing sweat. I was sobbing, crying my eyes out – I was aware of it and yet I couldn’t stop it. My entire body felt shook up as I looked at my right. Riley was standing in half-darkness, his face expressing confusion and fright. I lay myself back on the pillow upsettingly; tears were simply sliding down my face like a waterfall.

    It wasn’t just a dream; it was something so vivid and terrifying that it was toying with my emotions, my worst fears – something I wasn’t ready to accept yet.

    “I don’t wanna die …” I whispered to myself.

    Yes, my whisper was the last thing heard in the room that night.


    [...]



    “First of all, I’d like to apologize to both of you for calling you out on such a short notice as I know that what you went through was horrifying. But at the same time, you need to know that we need to catch the people responsible and therefore I need your full cooperation on this.”

    Her words seemed to reach my ears but I couldn’t really make sense of them. Among the disaster of my rushing thoughts after receiving yesterday’s gruesome news, solemn mumbling was the only thing I actually perceived in the back of my mind. Her voice was serious and formal. Expressing fake condolence towards us, she probably hoped for draining out even the slightest bit of information we’ve had left. She didn’t really mean it. Her sympathy wasn’t real, Riley knew it and I knew it as well.

    I rubbed my eyes in tiredness; I couldn’t get much sleep last night and this whole situation was just draining even more energy out of me. Even last night, my thoughts were occupied by something I believed I would get through easily.

    It wasn’t meant to bother me this much.

    I thought I had accepted it.

    But as it would turn out to be – I had never been truly ready to accept it.


    ///



    “Mr. Sullivan!”

    “Gabriel!”

    I snapped back to reality.

    The office was as dull as I initially found it to be and so was the whole atmosphere surrounding the cramped area. Almost completely worn out shade of what used to be color white pretty much added to the dullness of the whole space, not to speak of the hideously awful furniture we were forced to sit on. Many tiny parts of the table were dusty and I could tell that one didn’t clean this space very often.

    Riley hit my arm evoking me to respond.

    “You were saying?” I regained the sense of situation.

    I stared at her brown eyes; detective Dellk.

    She was a gorgeous woman in my eyes and despite being dressed pretty formally and less effeminately, the dark shirt complemented well her ponytail tied brown hair – made me wonder why she wasn’t off doing some modeling except for doing such a dirty job at the Police Department of Pewter.

    Her attitude was less appealing to me, though.

    There was nothing but harsh formalness in her sweet voice and despite trying to make it sound as if she cared, the villains were obviously her primary objective.

    “I asked whether you could or could not confirm everything Mr. Alstrom just said.”

    Riley smirked at the surprising expression on my face. “Just say yes,” he muttered nonchalantly – he was sick of this as much as I was.

    “Yes, of course I can!” I blurted out looking back at Riley. He was staring at the chest peeking from her unzipped shirt – I barely contained my smile.

    “Can we go now?”

    Riley suddenly moved himself from the chair. Unlike yesterday, he had a new set of clothes on him pretty much like me. He wore a simple dark shirt along with a pair of dark grayish jeans. Our outfits were pretty much the same except for my blue shirt which I wore unzipped with a white T-shirt under it.

    Detective Dellk shook her head.

    “I guess I can’t stop you two from leaving anywhere.”

    “Well, thank you for helping me out in my investigation. Thanks to you we now know that it’s quite possible that one of the major companies of Kanto ordered this attack. Now we just have to wait!”

    She shook hands with Riley and me respectively before escorting us to the door.

    “And please, try to stay out of trouble!”

    We both grinned to her words as Riley swiftly disappeared through the glass door. I calmly turned towards her with hands in my pockets.

    “This whole life is one big mess of a trouble. I’m afraid that whether we manage to stay out of problems or not is not our decision at all. That’s just how life works.”

    Yes, life and death. That’s how life worked - since the beginning of time. And despite the fact I could lecture others about it, I couldn’t make myself accept it.


    We shortly exchanged looks before I finally left outside.


    ///



    “Hey! What are you gonna do now?” Riley asked.

    “I don’t know, I think I’ll go back to the PokéCenter – I still haven’t told my family that I’m fine. What about you? Gonna call your father?”

    “Nah, going to check out the city. Care to join me?”

    He was acting weird. His smile was confusing as well as his surprising offer – it was unusual for him to act so friendly towards me. But when I thought about it once more, I realized that I needed to get my mind out of gutter.

    “Sure. Why not?”

    [...]




    “Where are we heading?” I asked.

    “Nowhere particular,” he responded easily.

    ‘Nowhere particular’ sounded strange, given how massive this rocky town was. Built at the outskirts of famous mountain Moon, Pewter was always known for its close touch with nature and history. Among many touristic hotspots, the most famous places were definitely the museum stored with countless treasures of the ancient past as well the popular Gym of Pewter city – led by the powerful Brock.

    “I don’t know – where do you wanna go?”

    “Why are you acting so friendly towards me?” I swiftly responded with a question.

    “Shut it! I’m simply being polite.”

    Riley rolled his eyes before continuing to walk down the road. I slowly followed him beginning to wonder whether he knew. Nurse Joyce must have already told him.

    “She told you … about Pidgeotto,” he suddenly stopped at my words. “That’s why you’re being so ‘polite’ to me today, right?”

    Riley frowned looking at me annoyingly.

    “You need to let it go, okay? See, this is why you’re such an idiot! Why the hell do you even care? You bear no responsibilities for what happened; that thing would have died anyway!”

    “Don’t you think I know that?” I answered frustratingly.

    “Then why were you crying last night?” Riley remained persistent.

    “Why do you even care?” I shouted back at him.

    “You know what,” Riley raised his arms, “forget I even asked!”

    A violent growl interrupted our argument as a sound of powerful explosion echoed throughout the city. The loud alarms suddenly went off as a great number of people, along with a number of policemen headed down the street to check what was happening.

    Riley and I exchanged looks before dashing towards the scene as well.

    As we approached the scene of event, I realized more and more people were suddenly running back in fear. The fear was justified as what we witnessed was horrible.

    The entire street block was covered in numerous furious little Pokémon I recognized as Nidoran, both varying in colors and looks while the much larger, wild rampaging horn Pokémon Nidoking crushed its way through the buildings. My breathing became heavy as I noticed a little girl run with a Nidoran attached to her leg; she was wailing in shock and pain.

    “Leave her alone!”

    I yelled kicking the Pokémon with all my strength away from her. There was blood all over the place as well as injured citizens, even trainers. The Pokémon were acting furious, it was unlike anything I had ever seen before – their eyes expressed nothing but sheer hatred and antagonism. They didn’t choose victims; they simply attacked anything and anyone on their path. As a result, chaos ensued.

    “What the…? Gabriel, we gotta help them!”

    Riley stepped forward unclipping two of his PokéBalls in haste. Charmander and Scyther emerged with a battle stance being immediately shocked by the disastrous event unfolding in front of their eyes.

    ”Guys, you have to get rid of them! Each and every single one of them! Go!”

    They stepped into the battle along with the Pokémon of other nearby trainer who decided to help out, trainers who unwillingly found themselves in this mess – trainers who were eager to help people. The most powerful Pokémon such as Magneton and Haunter centered their attacks at the outrageous Nidoking who didn’t seem to spare anyone. The weaker Pokémon went down quickly but Riley’s Pokémon somehow still managed to remain safe.

    “Everyone, Brock will be here soon! Keep doing your best until he arrives!” One other, clearly much more experienced trainer, shouted.

    Unlike others, I simply gazed - taken aback by what was happening in front of me.

    “Gabriel! Send your Scyther out!” Riley yelled furiously. “Now!”

    Completely bewildered, I instantly searched for my pockets managing to grasp the item.

    “Scyther, please help us!”

    Emerging in a familiar blob of bright light, the bug type Pokémon emerged suddenly locking its eyes at one target – the rampaging Nidoking.

    “No stop it! Get rid of the Nidoran first! Nidoking is too strong!”

    I wanted to withdraw it, I wanted to run away. Even though my Scyther moved with insane agility around Nidoking with various mediocre hits, I knew the battle wouldn’t last for too long. Scyther would eventually lose.

    Things got heftier as the number of arriving trainers kept increasing but so did the number of wild Nidoran; I couldn’t manage to understand what sort of thing would make them so furious – why they would ambush the town. Much to everyone’s shock, another Nidoking emerged out of nowhere with the other one being not even remotely tired. I felt aching in my leg as I looked down.

    The sudden sight forced me to step back in sheer fright. I growled in pain as a Nidoran approached me – one of them suddenly forcing its teeth into my flesh.

    “Aaa! Stop! Let go! Let me go you bastard!”

    I twitched and moved with my leg but it wouldn’t let go, the pain wasn’t great but it was enough to make me despise the species. Blood trickled down my leg as the purplish Nidoran remained chewing through my skin. I accidentally turned out to witness another batch of Nidoran approaching the other side.

    Unable to handle the pain, I feel on the ground. Riley had his eyes focused on the combat, I couldn’t call out for his help.

    “Let, him, go!” A moment of painlessness followed as I looked in front of me.

    It was a girl. The first thing my eyes caught notice of was her uniquely bright red hair. She elegantly punched the Nidoran from the side throwing it powerfully away from me.

    A feeling of nostalgia ran through my bones.

    “I hope you’re alright,” she smiled kindly before turning towards the chaos in the center of the city. A Pokémon emerged in front of her, the one of bright reddish fur and smooth pelt – the one I recognized under the name of Vulpix.

    “Vulpix, Fire Spin!” she yelled.

    ///


    POV Change



    “Oh my, oh my, look at that!” the man jumped excitedly at the sight on screen.

    He brushed his hands elegantly over his flowing seal brown hair slicking it back even more. There was nothing but solemn silence in the room – the excited man named August glanced at the screen once again unable to contain his cheerful, albeit creepy, grin.

    On the other side was another person – a man, sitting at the chair tightly. His hair was dark and messy with his green eyes shining through arising despair.

    “Oh isn't this wonderful? The monsters have finally reverted to their true state.”

    August approached his companion in a state of unusual arousal.

    “And it’s all thanks to you, my dear Samuel.”


    To Be Continued…
    Last edited by Tsutarja; 9th May 2012 at 01:14 PM.

  4. #79
    ^^ Safe-T's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

    Interesting, I wonder what the last part was about.

    You know, I'm guessing that the Pokemon got angry and became savage because they got sick of humans, maybe burning down the forest broke the camel's back.

    COMING SOON!

  5. #80
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

    Quote Originally Posted by SaFE View Post
    Interesting, I wonder what the last part was about.
    I hope you remember who Samuel is.

    If you don't, look for his name in chapter two.

    Quote Originally Posted by SaFE View Post
    You know, I'm guessing that the Pokemon got angry and became savage because they got sick of humans, maybe burning down the forest broke the camel's back.
    Perhaps. Or perhaps there's some other reason, tied into the plot? :)

  6. #81
    Christmas Bubble Frog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

    Hmm....I don't want to sound rude or type things that may come off as mean, but I'm gonna do my best to give some truthful constructive criticism. I'm a bit surprised this is Marissa's debut into meeting Gabe and Riley, helping save him from the wild Nidoran. I mean last chapter I pictured Marissa as being near a more "quiet, natural" like area and now she's already at Pewter. I'm quite surprised it seems like Marissa is more "okay" with being in public eye so to speak, given she did escape the facility after being their for years. I'm a tad underwhelmed she showed up as Gabe's savior against the Nidoran family line mainly cause I was expecting a flashier debut, but it's nothing really to cry over. Besides I'm sure the actual meeting and interactions will be much more interesting since, like you said, she is going to be a main character.

    I'm guessing the guy at the end was the Big Bad XD

    I felt like Gabe's reflection on the fact he isn't completely over his fear turned possible reality of death was interesting.

    I also wonder about Riley and Gabe's Frenemship, is that the end of their little scraps and smartass comments to each other? XD Have they grown to care and have more of a mutual relationship toward each other? I guess that forest incident really changed the both of them, I remember how when even when Gabe was knocked out and hurt Riley was all "Wake Up You son of a bitch!" and now he's showing immense concern for him after that Pidgeotto died. Perving on the policewoman after Pidgeotto's death and that morbid self reflection? Gabe's a perv and Riley's funny XD

  7. #82
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

    Quote Originally Posted by Gotpika View Post
    Hmm....I don't want to sound rude or type things that may come off as mean, but I'm gonna do my best to give some truthful constructive criticism.
    Go right ahead!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gotpika View Post
    I'm a bit surprised this is Marissa's debut into meeting Gabe and Riley, helping save him from the wild Nidoran. I mean last chapter I pictured Marissa as being near a more "quiet, natural" like area and now she's already at Pewter. I'm quite surprised it seems like Marissa is more "okay" with being in public eye so to speak, given she did escape the facility after being their for years. I'm a tad underwhelmed she showed up as Gabe's savior against the Nidoran family line mainly cause I was expecting a flashier debut, but it's nothing really to cry over. Besides I'm sure the actual meeting and interactions will be much more interesting since, like you said, she is going to be a main character.
    The city she used to live in is in a mess, people are attacked and there is blood on the street. Trainers are struggling while the Nidoking are destroying everything on their path. No matter how wary she may seem, she's a good person and I don't see why she wouldn't want to help out. Besides, she has a Pokémon by her side, they need all the help they can get.

    Although the next chapter could include the explanation of how she appeared there and why she decided to help out, even if it's blatantly obvious. Oh well.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gotpika View Post
    I'm guessing the guy at the end was the Big Bad XD
    I'll leave this one unanswered. In my opinion, there can be more than villain.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gotpika View Post
    I also wonder about Riley and Gabe's Frenemship, is that the end of their little scraps and smartass comments to each other? XD Have they grown to care and have more of a mutual relationship toward each other?
    Respect? Maybe. I can agree on them feeling a little closer to each other, though.

    Something that happened in the forest picked Riley's interest on Gabe. But no, oh no, this won't be the end of their smartass comments. That's too amusing for me to write so you'll see their "frenemship" quite often. But I'm not intending on having them head down the path of friendships and rainbows anytime soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gotpika View Post
    I guess that forest incident really changed the both of them, I remember how when even when Gabe was knocked out and hurt Riley was all "Wake Up You son of a bitch!" and now he's showing immense concern for him after that Pidgeotto died.
    It was no immense concern, but I can see what you mean. However:

    “You need to let it go, okay? See, this is why you’re such an idiot! Why the hell do you even care? You bear no responsibilities for what happened; that thing would have died anyway!”

    Riley is still being harsh.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gotpika View Post
    Perving on the policewoman after Pidgeotto's death and that morbid self reflection? Gabe's a perv and Riley's funny XD
    I'd say that Riley's a perv, Gabe simply described her beauty. Also, she was a detective, not a policewoman. :P

    Thanks for your thoughts!

  8. #83
    Woof Thabet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

    Hey, Long time no see... Or read... Or anything really. :p

    Anyways, I haz returned to check out dem storiez.

    lemme see, Marissa... Hmmm. She seems like a good enough idea for a character, I mean I can obviously tell that she is a pivotal character in the plot and is very linked to the overall plot line, so I'm excited to see what her role will be and how Riley and Gabe will react and bond (?) with her in general seeing as ALL these characters seem to have some connection to the madness that is now taking place.

    My only issue is Marissa's attitude, she has been suffering under torture for quite some time now and manages to make a complete 180 in the blink of an eye, a feat I find sorta odd. Furthermore, I'm interested to see how Marissa will interact with the Riley and Gabe. I dunno, it just seemed odd, I'll wait and see, but I'm keeping an eye on Marissa.

    The latest chapter was pretty good, keeping on par with the overall quality of the previous chapters. But be warned from falling into pattern in the chapters. With a disaster and Pokemon going berserk, you need to make sure to generate and maintain interest without boring the readers, just saying'.

    I did notice a few mistakes in the grammar in the two chapters. In "Marissa" you mentioned that the lady had her "bones being fractured" after Marissa knocked her out, I'm pretty sure that wrong. Maybe, "her bones had been fractured" is better?

    And in the latest chapter, you wrote that Gabe "feel on the ground" more like "fell" right?

    Anywho, good luck and keep on writing!

  9. #84
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

    Hey! Good to see you're still alive! :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Starbrow View Post
    My only issue is Marissa's attitude, she has been suffering under torture for quite some time now and manages to make a complete 180 in the blink of an eye, a feat I find sorta odd. Furthermore, I'm interested to see how Marissa will interact with the Riley and Gabe. I dunno, it just seemed odd, I'll wait and see, but I'm keeping an eye on Marissa.
    She didn't make a complete 180. It may seem so, but she really didn't.

    I guess it's my fault for making it seem that way. ^^;

    Quote Originally Posted by Starbrow View Post
    The latest chapter was pretty good, keeping on par with the overall quality of the previous chapters. But be warned from falling into pattern in the chapters. With a disaster and Pokemon going berserk, you need to make sure to generate and maintain interest without boring the readers, just saying'.
    You have a very good point, I'll make sure to remember that!

    Quote Originally Posted by Starbrow View Post
    I did notice a few mistakes in the grammar in the two chapters. In "Marissa" you mentioned that the lady had her "bones being fractured" after Marissa knocked her out, I'm pretty sure that wrong. Maybe, "her bones had been fractured" is better?
    Quote Originally Posted by Starbrow View Post
    And in the latest chapter, you wrote that Gabe "feel on the ground" more like "fell" right?
    Correct aaaand correct! Thanks for pointing these out!

    Thank you so much for finding time in your already (I assume) very busy life to read some random guy's fanfic. It means a lot to me as well as your comments. I hope you keep on reading! Once again, thanks!

  10. #85
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

    Well the ending of the chapter was certainly shocking, I wonder who these guys are but what interested me the most was that Samuel guy...mostly cause of the name.

    Anyways overall, I think the chapter might've gone a little too quick, at least in my opinion and there's not really much to comment aside from the fact that I really am curious as to how Gabe's and Marissa's meeting will go.

  11. #86
    BAM Cosmos's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

    So I haven't been on in a while so I've missed out on alot.
    I reread it from the begging

    and I must say I absolutely adore this story. It's amazing! Your way of describing is absolutely brilliant!

    So somethings that really stuck out to me

    was when Gabe and his mom fought in the Lab... the emotion in that scene was amazing and I could just feel every bit it of!
    In chapter 4 I think some people where complaining about the flow and that the POV's were changing to much but I actually really liked that chapter and thought It gave everything so depth and range.
    I personally really liked that chapter!
    Then there was that amazing scene with the Sycther! I loved the fierceness you gave them and how you made them these guardian warriors of the Forrest! and the fact that they killed really made everything so much more realistic which i found absolutely refreshing!
    and Marissa I really like her character! I really excited to see where you take her! and her background is very interesting can't wait to see more of that!

    and the whole Originals thing has got me extremely interested, I'm guessing Riley is also one and that so is Gabe but he just doesn't know it yet?

    I absolutely love were your taking it!


    The grammar is really good but there are mistakes but nothing major
    One thing I'd really like to see is a little more detailed character descriptions for Gabe, his brother, mother, father, and Riley like you gave Marissa

    Please put me back on the tag list :)
    I'm looking forward to the next chapter
    Very captivating!
    Black FC: 1420 9561 6865
    Pearl FC:1506 8850 5973

  12. #87
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Point of Divergence [Chapter IX]

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmos View Post
    and the whole Originals thing has got me extremely interested, I'm guessing Riley is also one and that so is Gabe but he just doesn't know it yet?
    Maybe, maybe not. Maybe that's what I want you to think, maybe it isn't. :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmos View Post
    Please put me back on the tag list :)
    With pleasure! The only reason I had you removed was because I thought you had stopped reading which is why I didn't want to bother you with notifications as I know how annoying they can be. ^^;

    I can't thank you enough for all your words of kindness, it really drives me to keep on writing. I hope you keep on reading and I'll be sure to notify you when the next chapter is out! Once again, thank you so much!

  13. #88
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Post Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (1) [Chapter X]

    Author's Note: Alright folks, the next two chapters (along with this one) will all hold the same name as they're very crucial to this story - these are the events leading up to - well, I guess you already know that. Anyway, the new chapter is up and I really hope that you like it!

    Tag List: @Cosmos; @Sai; @Thabet;




    Chapter X -
    Our Fates Entangled (1)



    ///


    I gasped in awe.

    Like a rain of violent annihilating flames, the vortex exploded spreading its flames wildly across the cemented road. The Nidoran screeched in agony and I couldn't help but to feel indifferent - the girl remained persistent however. Driving through the flames like a beast, a furious Nidoking powerfully punched away Riley's Charmander and Scyther along with a third Pokémon, the sheer force of its glowing purple attack sent all of the Pokémon flying towards us in great, although surely painful speed.

    "Scyther!" I muttered.

    The combat was still taking place as the flames slowly began dying out. My Scyther was still on its feet, barely exchanging blows with the other Nidoking. It's speed completely outmatched the wild poison type though I was afraid that his hits didn't do much damage. I wanted to give out my command, I wanted him to obey me, but I knew it probably wouldn't listen to any single word coming from my mouth.

    All I could do was watch; at least, that's what I told myself.

    My eyes shifted back at her.

    Something about her stance was familiar and nostalgic, it was adamant and yet at the same time unsure. As if she wanted to help us but couldn't wait to flee from the scene; as if she was torn.

    "Vulpix, help them with Confuse Ray!"

    She shouted at her Pokémon which obeyed at once – it seemed as if they were partners for years. A sinister dark ray left Vulpix’s body before entangling both of the Nidoking in a sort of purplish fog – the ultimate evolutions of Nidoran kept going crazy and hitting everything at their spot ultimately going after each other. Her moment of victory didn’t last for long, though.

    “Good, now use –“

    Much to our astonishment - the fog suddenly vanished from one Nidoking as a swift release of energy sent Vulpix flying against the nearby wall. Marissa screamed in desperation as Nidoking growled wildly beginning to aim its attacks at people again, even police, whose attacks were futile by now.

    “Onix, punish them with your Iron Tail!”

    His voice was adamant and manly, I turned around at once to glance at a man riding a giant rock creature, it was a true giant – I had never seen a Pokémon that large before. The creature named Onix growled insanely loudly before slamming the two Nidoking with its unbreakable Iron Tail, the rocks at the bottom of its tail transforming into solid iron. Despite its immense heaviness, the Pokémon moved at amazing speed as if it was bypassing the laws of physics; I couldn't help but feel amazed.

    “Brock is here!”

    The exhausted trainers cheered as I instantly recognized the man as Brock, “the rock-solid Pokémon Trainer”.

    “Dragonbreath!” He jumped off the rock-solid Pokémon with no difficulty.

    I found myself shocked by his command as I was completely unaware of the fact Onix was capable of learning such move by that point on; I could only observe in an utter state of surprise as wild, uniquely blue flames engulfed the enraging Nidoking, eventually finishing them off.

    For a moment, everything seemed to stop.

    "Brock! Brock! Brock! Brock!"

    The crowd began cheering along with the trainers as the injured Pokémon formed small groups beginning to withdraw from the area seeming completely confused by everything. The two Nidoking regained their senses as well; they let out a wild growl before following after the injured Nidoran. They simply left leaving most of us dumbfounded.

    Nothing made sense to me.

    “What the hell? You can’t just let them leave like this!”

    Riley complained in an instance though Brock seemed to have a different mindset.

    “I don’t believe they did this on purpose, therefore, whatever has been influencing them seems to have stopped. For now, we’ll take care of the injured ones.”

    I exhaled in strange relief beginning to look for the girl eagerly.

    As I would shortly find out, though, she was nowhere to be found.


    *
    Marissa



    She shouldn't have done it.

    Or maybe she should have, she didn't really know.

    All she truly knew was that sudden nostalgia overtook her heart and mind as she ran through the historical streets of her former home, Pewter. She felt frightened, endangered and yet small parts of her felt lively, the sudden rush of adrenaline making her blood boil. She inhaled and exhaled several times at once trying to calm herself beginning to wonder what prompted her to intervene, what evoked her to make a move during the disaster. Marissa had just recently arrived in this rocky place and soon as she stumbled upon the disaster in the city center, she felt split apart between her own fears and wishes and the right thing to do.

    She was torn, full of doubts - though Vulpix, who was eager to help out, pushed her over the edge.

    The fear of being recognized, fear of being taken away intertwined with the pleasure of being able to help save someone's life - the pleasure of being able to help save your former city. She wanted something different for once; she wanted to feel different; she wanted to be something other than a monster on the loose.

    Marissa wanted to be someone else.

    "I must get to the Pokémon Center," she muttered slowly moving her hand through Vulpix's mildly warm fur. The flame Pokémon was still conscious albeit quite tired with a massive back injury being the cause of its pain. Marissa faced Vulpix's bright eyes suddenly realizing she knew what to do.

    "You will get better, I promise."

    She subtly reached for her hair failing to remember she had been given a makeover by Liv. That's right, she looked different. She would probably go unnoticed, probably, she thought. But even if the risk was too high, Vulpix needed some medical attention. And for the sake of all the nice things Liv did for her, Vulpix would get better - even if it meant endangering her freedom once again.

    It was a promise she had made to herself.

    It was a promise she had made to Liv.


    ///


    Pewter city's Pokémon Center was in some quite of a rush that morning as the ambulance was packed with injured Pokémon and their trainers. Nurses kept constantly running across the hallway as my ears perceived numerous complaints from the side of other trainers who were either just released from the ambulance or were waiting to get their medical attention. Needless to say, they weren't pleased by Brock's action.

    "You know, I respect Brock. But what he did just now was completely stupid."

    "I know, we should have killed them all at once! Did you just see how much damage they caused? How much trouble they caused us all? How much pain they caused? Brock should have known better than that."

    I sighed in distress.

    As much as I hated admitting it, they had a point. All my life I spent convincing myself that Pokémon were kind creatures meant to live together with humans in harmony and all that other crap. The incident in the forest, however, planted the dark seed of doubt deep within my consciousnesses leading me to believe how that wasn't always the case - it forced me to learn that the hard way. Some Pokémon were simply born to be wild, born to attack everything on their path, born to be monsters.

    And as much as I wanted to believe that something completely unnatural did drive those Pokémon to the point of insanity, I simply found it to be too ridiculous of an excuse for me to buy it.

    My thoughts quickly diverged back to her.

    "Gabriel! How's your leg?"

    I felt an unusual feeling in my stomach; it was Riley.

    "It's fine," I looked down at my bandaged leg - it was already taken care of thanks to Nurse Joyce being willing to help me out as soon as I arrived. Riley nodded placing his arms in pockets; the silence was full of tension.

    "Are you okay?" I asked.

    "Yeah, I'm fine. Where's your Scyther?" He spoke it without hesitation.

    His voice had a certain tone to it.

    "I ... don't know," I looked away in slight shame.

    "You don't know? You just left it there?" he asked seeming mildly surprised.

    "It wouldn't have listened to me anyway."

    "Is there anything resembling a small piece of brain in that giant head of yours? Don't you remember what I told you back in the forest? Don't be pathetic, go and get your Pokémon back!"

    Now he was angry.

    "It's disobeying me! It belongs in the wild!" I remained persistent.

    "Did you even try to make it listen to you?"

    "No, and what point are you trying to make here anyway?"

    "Oh. Let me guess, you've assumed that everything will probably get solved by itself, right?"

    "I never wanted the damn Pokémon anyway! You forced me to accept it!"

    "That's because if certain someone maybe had a Pokémon, the situation wouldn't have gotten out of control."

    "Are you blaming me for what happened?"

    "I'm not blaming anyone; I'm just stating the facts."

    "You know what? Screw you and your facts. I'm out of here!"

    I rushed to stand on my feet as I headed down the hall towards the exit. At that moment, someone suddenly yelled at the others forcing them to shut up. The other, much fainter tone got louder as I looked behind me - almost all of the trainers were paying attention to the television. The volume was cracked up until the man's words could be completely understandable.

    " ... as we've just been informed, similar cases seem to have occurred in the middle of Pewter city where the Pokémon on rampage destroyed many buildings leading to dozens of victims. In addition, the Safari Zone of Fuchsia has been completely devastated - several unfortunate deaths seem to have taken place. The curiosity here is that the Pokémon who have suddenly gone wild seem to have returned to their normal state. The cause of their actions is still unknown but I can assure you that our Ministry of Defense and its best scientists will make sure to find out the cause of this incident."

    "Do you already have any suspicions; possible explanations?" another reporter asked.

    "Well, it IS possible that some kind of virus may have driven these Pokémon wild though all we have so far are assumptions based on speculation and scientific observation."

    The reporters flashed with their cameras in front of the man going completely wild and all in order to simply ask him some further questions. The man, going by the name August Lewis, smiled gently slicking back his dark hair before disappearing from the stage. Noise suddenly resumed in the room as I exchanged looks with Riley.

    I frowned at my way out.

    "Ouch," I gasped upon feeling sheer pain run through my head. Gently brushing my forehead, I looked in front of me. It was the girl from before, once again, this time with a Vulpix in her hands. I thought that maybe she had recognized me; her eyes, so innocent and pure, glanced through the room as if looking for a solution.

    She seemed to stare me. Did she recognize me?

    I was wrong.

    She rushed past me as if I was a ghost. I smiled to myself; of course she wouldn't recognize me, I thought.

    I was nothing but a stranger to her.


    * *



    "Ugh, my dear Samuel, it's tough being so formal in front of the reporters."

    "And yet," he smiled, "you make it seem so easy, you lying bastard."

    August laughed charmingly adjusting his bloodily red tie. The room was gray and empty as always with the two guards at the door being the only humans aside from August and Samuel.

    "It would seem that our virus wasn't quite as successful as we imagined it to be."

    "What do you mean, we?" The dark haired man clenched his teeth. "You forced me. None of that was my intention."

    "Oh yes, it seems that I have, haha, silly me," he laughed shortly. "Anyway," he continued, "the virus was supposed to make these monsters die out and yet - somehow they managed to fight it even though it resulted in total chaos. It would seem that someone didn't put quite enough effort in making this virus as strong as it was supposed to be."

    Samuel remained silent.

    "It doesn't really matter, though; the virus does not need any further development. As long as it remains present in high doses, I'm very assured that everything will go according the plan."

    "Your plan? To eradicate our Pokémon?"

    Pain. Sharp pain was followed by his words in form of a fierce slap as August's body began trembling, his face turning red and furious. He firmly grabbed Samuel's face with his hands paying no attention to his pain.

    "No," he replied coldly, "to eradicate monsters, those impure creatures that have tarnished our planet since the beginning of time. Someone needs to take a stand, and that someone, will be me. Though, I do need your help on one last bit, my dear Sammy."

    Tears suddenly emerged in Samuel's eyes.

    "I ... can't do this anymore."

    "Aw, you poor thing."

    August grinned maliciously snapping his fingers. A man of long, raven black hair suddenly emerged with a humanoid-like Pokémon levitating by its side; the Pokémon wielded over two spoons with its psychic abilities. The man suddenly threw another person on the ground; a young man with its body tied.

    "What..?" the poor man whispered.

    August cautiously made his way around Samuel taking a close approach to his ear.

    "Oh my, it's your son!" He grinned upon the sight of his own cruelsness.

    "DAMIAN!" Samuel shouted out, unable to control his emotions.

    "Dad?" His voice was shaky and full of fright and confusion. "Dad, is that you?"

    "So, I assume you and I can still make an arrangement, huh, my dear Sammy?"


    ///



    "What? 40 missed calls?"

    It was the first time I had my cellphone turned on since the forest fire occurred and the number of missed calls was completely unnerving. And as I would soon find out, I had reasons to be concerned.

    It rang for a second before someone swiftly answered the phone.

    She was panting heavily.

    "Mom? Mom, what happened? Are you okay? Is Damian okay?"

    She continued panting; I could barely understand her words.

    "Damian, your brother ... your brother ... he's gone."


    To Be Continued…
    Last edited by Tsutarja; 28th May 2012 at 03:24 AM.

  14. #89
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (1) [Chapter X]

    DAMN!

    That was a really good plot twist at the end, I mean I'm assuming it's Gabriel father and if so; to know that he's still alive even after all those years is a really good way to turn things around.

    I really liked this chapter, though I was in a reading mood today so you're lucky xD point is that this chapter was really good, it had a good enough pace, it had plot developtment as well as some character developtment regarding Gabe, and the twist at the end pretty much clinched everything.

    I don't think this is a journey fic anymore honestly, it's steadily growing into its own type of fic, I think that if you can keep up with it you can really create a great fic, just keep doing other chapters like this.

    I'll be waiting for the second part of this two parter and see what happens at the end of it all, maybe Gabe and Marissa can finally meet xD

  15. #90
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (1) [Chapter X]

    Ok, I really liked this chapter overall, from the battle at the beginning to the quarrel between Gabe and Riley to the twist ending that was to say the least shocking.

    I just want you to make sure you keep the consistency of these great chapters throughout, so don't slack off. ;)

    And like @Stellar Haze; said it looks like this is changing from a journey to something else, something more like a perilous adventure. I'll also be looking forward to the second and third parts of "Our Fates Entangled."

    Good luck. :D

    COMING SOON!

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