MATURE: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (4) [XIII] [BACK!] - Page 4

Page 4 of 8 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast
Results 46 to 60 of 117
Like Tree3Likes

Thread: Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (4) [XIII] [BACK!]

  1. #46
    It wasn't much! Flaze's Avatar Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Why do you care
    Posts
    59,705
    Blog Entries
    151
    Add Flaze on Facebook
    Follow Flaze on Tumblr Visit Flaze's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Essence of Life - Miscreation [Chapter IV]

    That's another thing you should think about, don't be such a worrywart xD. Take the criticism people give you and implement it but don't worry too much about it or the story will just suffer in the end. I don't mean that you shouldn't worry about criticism but don't let it rule out everything you have, just change what you think you can change.

    I'm probably the only one that got the chapter actually xD. I liked it mostly cause of the little psychological thing at the end of it with Gabe.

    That being said, taking chapter II and III into account there is one thing I have to say...you made the list of people I want to be better than xD no seriously these chapters have been so good that well I just gotta beat you I wanna get better and have a better story. So you try hard too you hear ;)

    I'll be waiting for the next chapter.

  2. #47
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,346
    Blog Entries
    564

    Follow Tsutarja on Tumblr

    Default Re: Essence of Life - Miscreation [Chapter IV]

    Quote Originally Posted by Stellar Haze View Post
    That's another thing you should think about, don't be such a worrywart xD. Take the criticism people give you and implement it but don't worry too much about it or the story will just suffer in the end. I don't mean that you shouldn't worry about criticism but don't let it rule out everything you have, just change what you think you can change.
    I know, I think I just panicked a bit before - it's alright know. I know what I've gotta do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stellar Haze View Post
    I'm probably the only one that got the chapter actually xD. I liked it mostly cause of the little psychological thing at the end of it with Gabe.
    Thanks! :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Stellar Haze View Post
    That being said, taking chapter II and III into account there is one thing I have to say...you made the list of people I want to be better than xD no seriously these chapters have been so good that well I just gotta beat you I wanna get better and have a better story. So you try hard too you hear ;)
    Huh? As much as I appreciate the compliment, you're a much more experienced writer than I am, you don't have to beat me. ^^

  3. #48
    It wasn't much! Flaze's Avatar Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Why do you care
    Posts
    59,705
    Blog Entries
    151
    Add Flaze on Facebook
    Follow Flaze on Tumblr Visit Flaze's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Essence of Life [Chapter IV]

    Yeah but I don't watch out you'll catch up quickly xD

  4. #49
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,346
    Blog Entries
    564

    Follow Tsutarja on Tumblr

    Post Re: Essence of Life - Farewell [Chapter V]

    Author's Note: It is done, over, finito - Gabriel can finally make his first step in the outer world in hope of finding the true meaning of his life, the essence of his life, something before destiny gets to him. I'd also like to thanks Aura Origin for fulfilling the role of my very first beta and for correcting the mistakes I made. With no further ado, I present to you - chapter five!

    Tag List: @Jinoga ; @Aura Origin ; @Cosmos

    -



    Chapter V: Farewell


    Waves of nostalgia swept over me as I opened my eyes.

    It was a powerful feeling but honestly I couldn't tell why I felt that way. Maybe it was the influence of the very atmosphere filling out my room, the gloomy sort of atmosphere – the one I subconsciously felt on my birthday. Yes, it was as if every little bit of happiness I ever felt in this house submerged under the dark shroud of tragedy surrounding my family, suppressing it all within the space of this room, my room. It seemed as if nothing of it was left.

    I stretched out my muscles lazily, feeling slight pain in my right arm as I reached for the cell phone under my pillow.

    Funny things, these phones; I never really used them for anything that really mattered. Whether it was checking the time and date in order not to lose the sense of time, making overly rare family calls or playing addictive games, which I did the most part, my phone was never something I couldn't live without.

    „6:15 A.M. 03/08/2014,” I read in thoughts from the glowing screen.

    I knew that it was time, the time of all times, to leave but my body remained still with my eyes fixated at the dusty ceiling; who knew how long it had been since it was last cleaned. It was funny as I never really paid attention to my room, rarely even bothering to keep it nice and clean. This time however I couldn't help but to notice how messy and yet strangely organized my simple, average-sized room was.

    Or as I called it: the order in chaos. No matter how messy my room was, it was my own mess in which I was capable of finding the smallest of things. There wasn't much space in there left anyway; most of it was already taken by the large, wooden wardrobe with only a few clothes, which, along with the big black box know as TV on top of the shelf took the greatest portion of the room.

    It was a simple room, like I said, there wasn't much to see, there wasn't much to feel. I smiled to my own sentimentality and underlying pessimism, nostalgia was a powerful thing. I found myself wondering whether I was craving for the past or just simply terrified of abandoning the only ones I had left in my life.

    I checked the phone again, failing to realize that three minutes already passed.

    It was a short but intense moment I experienced while getting out of bed. I was on the verge of crying as tears almost barely left my eyes. I slapped my hands against my face lightly as I slowly realized it; it was I, of all people, who couldn't afford to waste any time.

    I exhaled shortly feeling a sudden surge of energy, there was no time to waste.

    Getting up in a rush I remembered I had some stuff to take care of. The first thing, which I took care of last night, was packing the necessities for my journey. It wasn't much as I had only packed some clothes, but I had my savings with me, the somewhat large amount of money I managed to save while working under the wing of prf. Amaryllis. I wasn't much of a spender so the money piled up after a while.

    I pulled the drawer of my shelf sighing with relief, the letter was still there.

    There were many reasons why I didn't want to let her and Damian know I was leaving. For one, I knew that mom would instantly make a big deal out of it and if I told Damian, he would most likely try telling her and although I had this hunch that he already suspected I would leave, I decided against it. And my other reason, I hated departures. It was much easier for me this way.

    Maybe I was egoistic, I sure felt a bit that way, but I couldn't help it.

    It was a feeling stronger than me.
    -


    It was morning. The inside of the house was still slightly darkened as I carefully walked down the stairs approaching the door. A sudden feeling of panic overwhelmed me as my fingers touched the doorknob. I just wanted to get out.

    “Gabriel,” I froze in the moment recognizing the voice behind me.

    “You're leaving?”

    I hesitated at first but I stayed still, I could only imagine he was sitting in the dark, at his usual spot on the couch. Damian must have been expecting it, like I expected him to except. I heard a noise; he must have gotten off the couch.

    “You must tell her,” he sounded deep and quite serious.

    I shook my head instantly.

    “She wouldn't allow it. I bet she would do something crazy in order to stop me. It's better this way. Besides, I've already written a goodbye letter.”

    “A goodbye letter?” I could hear him chuckle, “You are planning to return, right?”

    I turned the doorknob. “Of course I will return, after ... sometime later.”

    “Then it's a farewell letter, not a goodbye one,” my brother approached me embracing his arms around me, I didn't move an inch even though I wanted to be as far as possible. It somehow felt embarrassing, though I didn't know what to be embarrassed about. We rarely ever hugged and this time – the situation was no different. Funny, how tragedy always bonded people more than happiness.

    “Good luck, little brother.”

    I opened the door slowly shaking my head.

    “That always sounded so stupid.”

    We both chuckled beginning to stare each other for a moment. Deciding not to dwell anymore over my past, I bid him farewell with my eyes as I shut the door behind me in a rushed manner. A rush of icy air stroke suddenly through my naked skin but I didn't care.

    Sun would be out soon.




    I always liked the smell of a hospital.

    Granted, I didn't actually visit it enough number of times to earn the right to say that, but I did visit enough number of times to grow to like it. It was a specific smell, a smell of cleanliness possibly induced by chemical substances used by janitors. His voice pulled me back into reality.

    “Alright young man, this is your prescription and these,” a tall and bald man in a white coat said while taking a reddish bottle from the table, “are your painkillers. Atemyol is the new drug on the market, a slow-release tablet which is why it should be taken every 12 hours. Some researches even suggest that the drug may be able of slowing down the cancer growth.”

    He smiled through his little explanation, though I remained nervous.

    “This must be expensive...” I mumbled suddenly beginning to sweat.

    “Oh, about that. I've received a call from a man called Julian Ahlstrom. He specifically instructed me to transfer all the hospital bills on his account.”

    What?

    “Are you sure?”

    He nodded affirming so. To be honest, I felt truly relieved about that fact although I was confused as heck after finding out who did it. He knew.

    Who the hell had told him?



    “6.37 a.m, still have some time left,” I read to myself as I walked out of the hospital. The sun was slowly beginning to rise, shining through the smallest bits of the remaining darkness. It was amazing how crowded the streets were even this early in the morning. I inhaled deeply feeling the fresh air cruise through my lungs, it felt, good. It felt good, that is, until I accidentally inhaled gas.

    I stuttered for a moment upon witnessing a strange creature under me, it was eyeing a coin. It moved away quickly though, but I could still recognize that cream-colored feline creature. It had long claws shimmering golden coin which seemed embedded in its head. I smiled at the sight as I looked down again, the coin it was gone. That's right, species of Meowth always had thing for shiny objects.

    It was a shame really; I rarely witnessed any actual Pokémon in this city as the new policy forbade an overly large presence of Pokémon in this city. They caused only mess, they claimed, which is why they rather sent them to orphanage. It was sad how many trainers nowadays were releasing their Pokémon. I mean, the world always revolved around Pokémon, they made our world.

    Is this how we were paying them back?

    “Gabe!”

    And speaking of the wild, sharp-clawed creatures who like shiny things, it was the voice of professor Amaryllis that was calling for me. I turned around chuckling to my own very amusing thoughts assured that she would hate me if she ever found out about them.
    -


    ‘Why are you out this early in the morning? You still have under an hour left before meeting up with Riley.”

    We were strolling down the central plaza. The park seemed emptier than ever though the beautiful scenery remained gorgeous as always. It was one of the most remarkable places I have ever seen. Though I would soon see more, I thought. Soon enough, I'd leave this place and embark on a journey.

    “Why are you out this early in the morning?” I countered with the same question.

    “Alright, I've actually headed to work. Back to you,” she smiled shaking her head. I looked at her; she seemed unusual without her white lab coat.

    “And why are you wearing a bag?” she added. I sighed before answering.

    “I'm leaving for a journey.”

    “That's good,” she muttered softly. “It must have been hard saying goodbye to your mother, right?”

    I frowned and nodded which left an unusual feeling of guilt inside of me. “But she was happy for me,” I added, “that I'll finally be able to do something before my time runs out.”

    My words seemed to have angered her.

    “Since you're leaving, I have a surprise for you. I've been thinking and, I really think you deserve one of those starter-Pokémon. What do you think?”

    Professor smiled at me, I looked at her, bedazzled by her suggestion.

    “Sure! Let's go!”

    “Alrighty then!”

    She grinned pulling my arm as she began walking faster. An uneasy feeling went through my stomach, something was going to happen.

    I had a bad feeling about this.



    I knew I should have been suspicious when she offered me a starter Pokémon, back when we were in the park. She occasionally did nice things, but I should have never assumed that she would have done something that nice. I should have also been suspicious of the fact that, after unlocking the door of the lab, she offered me to come in first which is when she decided to pull off her bitchiest move yet, bitchier than everything I've ever seen in my entire life.

    I hated myself for it and yet at the same time, I had no idea that I would forever be grateful to her for doing what she did. My eyes widened upon the realization.

    I was inside of the lab.

    Locked.

    Facing my own mother.
    -


    “Oh, you did not just do that! That's low, even for you, Amaryllis!”

    I yelled but no one answered.

    I turned around again. To the other person; she would look like a normal, harmlessly-looking, middle-aged woman. Her short, black hair was tied up in a small ponytail and she was dressed casually, like always. She was sitting in the chair staring at me dead serious.

    I scratched the back of my head thinking how Damian probably set the whole thing up. It felt kind of embarrassing since I had underestimated him.

    “Okay,” I sighed. “What exactly do you want?”

    "I want to apologize, for things to go back to normal. But most of all, I want my son back.”

    “You really think it's going to be that easy?" I asked.

    She simply shook her head in denial. Blistering rays of sunlight slowly crept through the windows enlightening the room as she stood up. She approached me.

    “Let's face it, Gabriel. I was never a perfect mother. You and Damian, you two know the best what I went through. When Samuel died, I… I was crushed. If it wasn't for my children, I probably wouldn't have made it.”

    I remained silent.

    “What I did was wrong, and yes, it was selfish. But most of all, I did it for you.”

    I smiled in disbelief upon hearing her words.

    “So, that's why you hid my letter and yet you still let Damian read his? You know how close Dad and I were and yet you still did it because you cared so freakin' much. Right? That's not okay, what you did was wrong.”

    “I know and I have admitted my mistakes!” She spoke passionately.

    “Do you know how hard the news of your disease hit me? I was devastated, I still am! And yet, here you are, willing to leave me and Damian alone. We were once a family, Gabriel, don't you care about our family?”

    “No! No, no, no, you can't put the blame on me. Doesn't anyone in this family care about my wishes, my desires? For crying out loud, I have only a few months left! I may not even live through the end of the year alive.”

    She looked down at the floor.

    “You know, I am grateful to you, I really am. You raised me, you suffered and you went through a lot, I can understand that. But I can't help but to feel, feel like you stripped me of my own will and courage, of my fathers' last words. Who knows, maybe if I got the letter earlier, I would have already set out on a journey.”

    “But you didn't get the letter. It was destiny!”

    I clinched my fists in frustration.

    “Is that what you call it now?” I muttered watching that my rage doesn't take control over me. Or perhaps it already did, I couldn't tell. “It was not destiny! There is no such crap as destiny! Stop making up ridiculous excuses for your mistakes! You keep saying how much you were devastated when Dad died, but what about me? I loved Dad more than anything!”

    She looked at me with her teary eyes.

    “I loved him more than I loved you.”

    A long moment of silence ensued followed by a noise of an unlocking door from the inside. Professor Amaryllis entered realizing that the fight has been long over. She looked at me with the face of disappointment, I looked aside. I didn't know what else to say, everything had already been said but as I stepped forward I could feel someone's hands embrace me tightly.

    “Even though you hate me now,” she whispered in my ears, I could feel her shivering breath, “I am your mother. And I love you more than everything else on this planet, both you and Damian. And, even though I made the possibly biggest mistake of my life, I hope you can forgive me one day. I hope ... we can be a family again, someday.”

    I acted cold but I in reality I felt everything but that.

    “Farewell,” I whispered doing my best to have myself released from her arms.

    -

    I felt pathetic.

    I felt hatred for the woman who gave birth to me, the woman who gave everything to me and yet my conflicting emotions for my Dad didn't allow me to forgive her. I felt sadness for the woman who had to live through greater amount of pain than other women of her age and yet I rejected her brutally.

    As I shut the door behind me, I couldn't help but to think of myself as the person who deserved the cancer the most. And while I relived the entire situation in my head and as I remembered her soft words, I began wondering if I had just done the biggest mistake of my life as well.

    “Destiny,” I shook my head in denial once again.

    No, there was no such thing.



    “7.02 A.M.”

    It was the right address.

    I was underwhelmed by what I saw upon my arrival, I had expected something greater, something more magnificent – possibly a much larger mansion worthy of people of the higher class. Although it was much, much bigger than my house, I had to admit; it seemed old and worn out, but a little classy with many uniquely-shaped windows visible. The door was stone gray and gigantic and just as I walked up the stairs, the door opened.

    A smugly-looking boy, dressed in a dark-gray jeans and light-blue shirt emerged all of the sudden. Behind him was his father, Julian, the man who had agreed to pay for my hospital bills for some mysterious reason, though just as I wished to approach them, a sound of car horn distracted me.

    I was left with my mouth widely opened as I witnessed Riley approach the wide and slender black limousine. He stood by the door looking at my bedazzled expression.

    “Oh quit it, stop acting as if you've never seen a limo.”

    “I thought we're going by foot,” I said surprisingly.

    Riley chuckled arrogantly.

    “Seriously? It’s bad enough I have to walk through the forest with you, if anything, I'll at least try to make my journey more enjoyable for me. Besides, the forest is quite far from the city, isn't it?”

    I looked at his father again. He simply waved his hand at me while grinning.

    “Come on, you peasant!”

    I wasted no further second waiting for his commands. I rushed into the car feeling a sudden surge of happiness. At least, one part of my day was off to a right start.


    To Be Continued
    Last edited by Tsutarja; 24th May 2012 at 12:28 PM.

  5. #50
    It wasn't much! Flaze's Avatar Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Why do you care
    Posts
    59,705
    Blog Entries
    151
    Add Flaze on Facebook
    Follow Flaze on Tumblr Visit Flaze's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Essence of Life - Farewell [Chapter V]

    Well, I can safely say that I hope Gabe doesn't kill Riley out of annoyance xD.

    Now moving on to the seriousness, this chapter was dramatic and Gabe finally took his first step. However I don't feel like you grasped the emotion fully, you described it well, but maybe it was a little too quick at times. The chapter was still good and I can definitely tell the differences between this Gave and the Gabe from before.

    I'll be waiting to see how Gabe's journey goes at its start. Though I was sad that Gabe didn't even get a Pokemon for the road.

  6. #51
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,346
    Blog Entries
    564

    Follow Tsutarja on Tumblr

    Default Re: Essence of Life - Farewell [Chapter V]

    Quote Originally Posted by Stellar Haze View Post
    Well, I can safely say that I hope Gabe doesn't kill Riley out of annoyance xD.
    Haha, don't worry, Gabe will manage to pull through. They'll have other things to worry about. ;)

    Quote Originally Posted by Stellar Haze View Post
    Now moving on to the seriousness, this chapter was dramatic and Gabe finally took his first step. However I don't feel like you grasped the emotion fully, you described it well, but maybe it was a little too quick at times. The chapter was still good and I can definitely tell the differences between this Gave and the Gabe from before.
    I see why you might think that way but Gabe really is just a human being. He has flaws like everyone else and one of those flaws is that he's not quick to forgive. I feel like Gabe really wants to forgive her but he can't because of the conflicting emotions he feels towards his father. And he really did love him very much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stellar Haze View Post
    I'll be waiting to see how Gabe's journey goes at its start. Though I was sad that Gabe didn't even get a Pokemon for the road.
    An issue that shall be resolved in the next chapter. Thank you for reading and commenting!

  7. #52
    Woof Thabet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Does it matter?
    Posts
    465
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default Re: Essence of Life - Farewell [Chapter V]

    Whoa, major improvement.

    You kidding? This chapter is great! Rarely do I get to see chapters with that much depth and emotion in the Workshop.

    I loved the character interaction and emotional depth in the whole chapter, it was near-perfection. That part where the prof. locks him in with his mom made me laugh. And the dialogue between Gabe and his mom was both believable and great.

    Just a little side-note. Be sure to use this as a motivation and never forget what transpired in past events. Gabe is ill, so that be evident in the story from time to time, among other things. Remember to keep that in mind.

    Anyways, great job!

  8. #53
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,346
    Blog Entries
    564

    Follow Tsutarja on Tumblr

    Default Re: Essence of Life - Farewell [Chapter V]

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    Whoa, major improvement.
    Really? :O

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    You kidding? This chapter is great! Rarely do I get to see chapters with that much depth and emotion in the Workshop.
    I'm flattered! ;_;

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    I loved the character interaction and emotional depth in the whole chapter, it was near-perfection. That part where the prof. locks him in with his mom made me laugh. And the dialogue between Gabe and his mom was both believable and great.
    Haha, I'm so happy to hear that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    Just a little side-note. Be sure to use this as a motivation and never forget what transpired in past events. Gabe is ill, so that be evident in the story from time to time, among other things. Remember to keep that in mind.
    No worries about that. Gabe believes that he accepted the fact he's going to die but that's not really true. All he really accepted is the fact he is ill. So, the whole "My days are counted" thing will not fully sink into him, not right now, at least. So yes, I can promise that the disease will be a prominent as well as play a huge role later on.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    Anyways, great job!
    Once again, thank you.

    I never say this enough, but it feels really encouraging to get such comments from you guys. I primarily write this story for you guys, for someone who would be interested enough to read it. While I do understand that one does not necessarily need comments to keep up, it really gives me more hope in this story and my writing skills which pushes me even further. ^^

    Alright, now some info on the next chapters.

    The next chapter will be a two-parter titled "What Lies Within" and it will feature Riley and Gabe trying to get out out of the forest alive as they battle for survival. And having only one Pokémon with them won't exactly make things any easier. After that, comes a special chapter revolving around the girl who escaped from the facility.

    Thank you guys for reading!

  9. #54
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,346
    Blog Entries
    564

    Follow Tsutarja on Tumblr

    Post Re: Essence of Life - What Lies Within [Chapter VI]

    Haha, I'm probably late with this chapter. I hope you end up liking it though, enjoy! ^^
    @SaFE ; @Starbrow ; @Cosmos

    Chapter VI:
    What Lies Within (1)



    I would have never expected to find us in such situation.

    It was utmost terrifying, ultimately the worst possible way for anyone to commence his journey. I shortly exchanged looks with him barely gripping the round, orb-shaped object with my bruised hand. His clothes were visibly drenched in blood and I wasn’t in a much better shape either.

    And in front of us - facing its intimidating eyes, dark pupils fully widened, a vividly green creature of sharp-looking blades remained motionless, possibly waiting to finish us off. My eyes slowly closed as a faint sound reached my ears.

    Everything turned black.

    Some time before…



    I gasped at the sight of the immense space present within the vehicle. Although I’ve never actually been in a limousine before, I still found it hard to imagine that a car of such quality wouldn’t have that much space in it. I stretched out my legs comfortably trying to pay little attention on Riley. Although he glared at me for a while, most of the time we spent in this limo he had his eyes focused on the life outside the window – the living and growing remnants of Mother Nature.

    Upon stretching out my muscles, I nonchalantly glanced at him. He suddenly looked back at me responding with a short but nonetheless annoying sigh.

    “Wow, I must be pretty darn handsome for you to stare at me like that.”

    “I wasn’t staring at you, I was actually checking whether you were still glaring at me with those dead eyes of yours,” I responded in sudden uneasiness.

    “Aha. Well, I can’t help it since you act like a juvenile,” he smirked. “One would almost think you’ve never sat in a limo before,” his sarcasm was obvious. I wouldn’t let him win this one, I continued to provoke him.

    “So, what’s the deal with you, Riley?” I asked mockingly hoping to frustrate him. “What’s up with that entire rich, arrogant boy getup?”

    “Excuse me?” he replied.

    “Let me guess; you have a tragic back-story which resulted in you becoming jerk, am I right? Don’t you think that’s a little too cliché?

    He closed his eyes nonchalantly.

    “No, not really, I just really hate people. And right now, I really, really hate you. So I would advise you to shut it, as I’m finding it quite hard to restrain myself from not killing you for being such a pain in the ass.”

    The feelings were mutual indeed.

    I frowned as the dark window in front of us automatically opened. I noticed that the car had stopped as the driver gave us a sign to get out. I felt sudden relief as I was really in the need for a breath of fresh air. We both found ourselves outside the vehicle genuinely stunned by the atmosphere of the jungle-like place.

    Viridian Forest was always known as the deep and sprawling woodland which expanded throughout and around the very city of Viridian which is where the name of the forest originated from. The path across to each terminus winded its way around the dense layers of trees creating a giant, natural maze - a labyrinth, where people often got lost. I looked towards the treetops.

    The entrance to the forest seemed to be light and airy due the shallow thickness of the trees but as soon as a person would venture into the forest, one would be amazed by the shadiness and darkness of the environment as the trees within the forest grew so dense that the light barely got through.

    But I knew the forest well as in my early days in Viridian as I found solitude in the forest. With some luck, I managed to surpass the mystery of the labyrinth. Well, it wasn’t actually luck but more like a sort of photographic memory. I always had it easy remembering things to even the tiniest details. That’s why I never got lost.

    “Ugh, why don’t they simply cut down the forest?” Riley complained. And his complain was only natural since he wasn’t the only one.

    “Actually, many have already tried doing that - some even going as far to cause forest fires. The activist however saved this forest countless times, claiming it was the biggest treasure of Kanto. And despite the fact many people got lost and injured in here, the forest remained to this day the only easiest way for anyone to reach the city of Pewter.”

    “Well, at least the bugs won’t be a problem for me,” he smirked. Unclipping a Poké Ball from his belt, he enlarged it by a click releasing it from his hand. A small but lively orange lizard emerged materializing fire on its tail.

    I felt a spark of jealousy as I remembered; I didn’t have my own Pokémon.

    “Uh, that’s not such a good idea,” I remarked.

    “Sometimes the wild Pokémon tend to ambush trainers who travel with their Pokémon outside the ball. The reasons aren’t really known but it’s speculated that some Pokémon find Pokémon under a humans’ command obnoxious, sometimes even feeling threatened by them. You should only send him out when necessary.”

    “Wow, aren’t you a smartass?” Riley withdrew Charmander with obvious look of dissatisfaction on his face. Maybe I really was being a smartass. And as I began to follow his footsteps towards the forest, all I could hear was a slowly descending sound of a vehicle getting farer away from us.

    All of the sudden, we were all alone.
    -


    The tension might as well have been cut with a knife.

    The unusual silence surrounding the whole “being” of this place didn’t really help either. Everything around us had been quite darkened as the thick, overgrown treetops didn’t let any light get through to us. I was even starting to feel a light headache which I found unusual since I had already taken my drugs but I guessed it only needed some time for them to start working.

    On the other hand, maybe it wasn’t even due to my disease. As I pounded my head over the question, a ringing sound broke through the uneasy silence. It was Riley’s phone, though he did not answer.

    “Your phone is ringing,” I remarked much to his annoyance.

    “You don’t say?” His face remained expressionless even through the bits of underlying sarcasm in his voice. He grabbed the phone from his pockets.

    The ringing stopped.

    “Who was it … if, I may know?” I asked in honest curiosity.

    “It was my father,” he said. “Trying to control me even now,” he added through mumbling, I could barely understand his words. I scratched my head not knowing what to say.

    “Say, Gabriel,” he continued. “Your father, did you love him?”

    His question caught me off guard. Despite the fact I questioned his motives for asking such question, I decided to answer honestly.

    “Yes I did, very much in fact,” he smiled at my words.

    “I envy you. I never really felt the same for my father.”

    “Why are you telling me this?” I suddenly spoke, unable to keep the curiously for myself. Riley suddenly slowed down almost to the verge of stopping.

    “Because the only thing worse than talking to you is this dreadful silence, am I right? We might as well break it. Ugh, I hate this place!”

    He exclaimed forcefully stepping over a fallen, already rotten branch crushing it to tiny pieces. At the very moment we stumbled upon him – an unknown man, possibly a trainer, dressed in completely black clothes. What caught my attention was the unusual handkerchief he had covering his mouth as well as the pitch black glasses through which nothing could be seen.

    There was something ominous about him.

    He extended his hand towards Riley without any words, promptly revealing a Poké Ball hidden inside of in it. There was something off with his attitude but I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it. It was simply the essence which surrounded him.

    “Battle me,” were the first words he spoke out.

    We should have run away at that point but there was no way we could have known. His sudden appearance in the forest was the first step which would lead towards the climatic culmination of what they’ve been planning to accomplish. Not even awaiting an answer from us, a Poké Ball had already been sent towards us exploding in a flash of light.

    Revealing itself in front of us was a Pokémon I’d never seen before.




    “Carnivine, the Bug Catcher Pokémon. It walks around on its tentacles in search of a tree branch where it can dangle down and ambush the prey. It attracts prey with its sweet-smelling drool and gulps them down.”


    The computerized voice described as I coincidentally observed the grass type Pokémon with my own eyes. It was surely unique, I had to admit, nothing I have ever seen before. The most of Carnivine’s body was comprised out of a giant jaw-like head which seemed like it could swallow a Tauros while the lower half of its body was pretty much a disturbing combination of lively, entangled vines which seemingly served as the creatures’ legs. Carnivine blinked twice with its tiny eyes beginning to hover slightly above the ground.

    Riley grinned smugly and hastily grabbed his own Poké Ball. It was as if he was itching to battle, as if he desired to feel some excitement.

    “A battle, huh? Oh, you’re on!” he shouted at him recklessly, releasing the Poké Ball from his hands.

    The same small but quite lively orange reptilian creature emerged. Charmander could probably feel Riley’s battle drive as it immediately changed into its battle mode completely shifting its way of acting from before. I was probably only imagining things, but at one point it seemed to me as if the fire on its tail was much larger than before.

    “Oh, a fire type?” The man grinned snapping his fingers. Carnivine suddenly landed on the ground launching itself towards a tree branch; it was soon hanging upside down ominously extending its leafy arms.

    “How amusing,” Riley remarked. “Charmander, attack with Ember!”

    The little fire type clenched both of its claws upon unleashing a sparkly blast of fiery energy. The tiny chunks of fire balls spread themselves through the air aiming directly towards the grass type. Carnivine’s sudden movement however would have deer consequences as it jumped off the branch directly on Charmander upon evading the attack. Its vines entangled the fire lizard forcefully, delicately avoiding its burning tail managing to completely immobilize it.

    Riley didn’t seem to panic though.

    “Ah, amusing indeed; how a simple Bind attack can immobilize a Pokémon, right?”

    “C’mon, Charmander! It’s a grass type for crying out loud. Use Metal Claw!”

    Carnivine’s loud cry unpleasantly surprised me as I witnessed the sight of peculiar liquid pouring from its vines. The metallic looking claw seemed like it had already found its way towards the surface with the sharp claw brutally ripping through the creatures’ vines. Charmander growled wildly using its suddenly mobile, glowing arm once again but to no avail; Carnivine had already fled, having sustained injures, to its trainers’ side again.

    The man didn’t seem exactly thrilled.

    “What the hell did you do to my Carnivine?”

    “Nothing unusual for a Pokémon battle, your Pokémon needs some toughening up to do. Charmander, use Ember again!”

    Carnivine didn’t evade the attack this time, though, going as far to confront the fiery attack with its own tiny energy blasts leading up to an explosion. The grayish smoke barely spread through the field; through which I could only recognize the spark of Charmander’s tail. In the sole aftermath of the clash, the reptilian Pokémon let out an annoying scream which I mistook for an attack but as the smoke cleared I could clearly witness Carnivine heavily crunching the top of its head.

    “More power, Carnivine! Now, spit that bastard up!”

    It was already a lost battle.

    Despite the fact Charmander completely held the elemental advantage over the vine Pokémon, the sheer power of the Crunch attack had caused too much pain for it to bear and retaliate. I could clearly realize the difference between the two opponents because while Charmander quickly ended up worn out, Carnivine still had some power left despite the massive injury Riley’s Pokémon caused.

    The fire Pokémon was suddenly thrown brutally against the tree followed by a sneaky Faint Attack by Carnivine. The sight of Charmander not being able to stand up anymore made me noxious; I could feel the slight spinning on my head.

    Riley’s sudden reaction surprised me as he ran towards Charmander in a worrisome way, he seemed genuinely concerned. The man however remained at the spot suddenly being joined by two other men in the same attire. I rushed towards Riley in strange feeling of fright; we needed to get out of here.

    “Riley, c’mon! Let’s get out of here!”

    “What’s wrong?”

    Before I could say anything I suddenly found myself lying on the ground upon having my leg pulled by a strange force. Riley grumbled as I desperately tried bringing myself back in the normal position.

    “Ziggy, what took you so long?” One of the other men yelled, his voice being rough and completely loud. It couldn’t be, not today.

    ”I stumbled upon these two,” he said as the third man began tying me up with a rope. “I figured that since we’d put them aside anyway, I might as well have some actual fun. Needless to say, I was disappointed.”

    “Put aside? Who the hell do you think you are?” he shouted in frustration. Riley was pissed as evident by the heightened amount of frustration in his tone. I, on the other hand, was too cowardly to say a thing. Riley seemed to notice it.

    “Just some men doing their job. Carnivine, Stun Spore.”

    The man, Ziggy, raised his hand as I accidentally inhaled the intoxicating pollen. It was a strange, powder-like substance which spread through the air with ease. The spores had the ability of immobilizing anyone or anything for a certain period of time and I was feeling the effect right on my skin. Starting from my legs, I could feel my entire body go numb all the way to my head barely managing to move my lips. My breathing turned heavy, my headache became much worse.

    I couldn’t do much; I couldn’t do anything even if I wanted to. My eyelids gradually closed by themselves until the tiniest bit of light dispersed in my diminishing sight.

    Maybe this whole thing is too much for me to handle, I thought.

    Maybe, I shouldn’t have left.



    “Wake up! Gabriel! Wake up, you son of a bitch!”

    I woke up with somewhat painful sensation in my body beginning to realize that Riley has been kicking me over and over again. The paralysis seemed to have ceased as the current situation wasn’t looking too bright. There was Riley and I tied up, with no ways of fleeing and a giant bald man, probably another member of their gang.

    “Gabriel, they’re going to burn this place to ashes!”

    The man shortly glanced at me.

    “What? Wait! How? And how do you know that?”

    “They have a bunch of fire type Pokémon. They’re probably going to cause multiple forest fires all around the forest so they can tear it down completely. And this big guy here just confirmed my suspicions.”

    It was a terrifying thought for me; the thought of having such an iconic place gone from the map of Kanto. While I could understand all the frustration, I had no clue how someone could simply attack two teenagers and decide to burn the entire forest.

    “Why are you doing this? Is it for money? Is someone paying you to do this?

    “You’re asking too many questions, boy,” he said.

    “And you don’t have to tell him anything, it’s none of his concern.”

    Ziggy suddenly appeared accompanied by a Pokémon, a fire type of its iconic cream-colored fur. It was one of the many peculiar evolutions of a single Pokémon and a Pokémon of high internal body temperature; it could quite literally breathe out flames.

    “It’s time. Good luck boys!”

    Those were the last words we would hear from the man called Ziggy.

    The two men walked away as we did our best to get back on our feet. Things got gradually worse as a sudden explosion spread in a colossal wave of heat. I could smell the smoke in the air but it wasn’t until I saw the fire by myself that I witnessed how much of an impact this attack on the forest would have. The living flames engulfed everything on their way spreading wickedly fast as the Pokémon of the forest were already out of their shelters, desperately running for their lives.

    “Come on, we gotta run! Let’s get out of here!”

    Riley yelled nervously beginning to move as fast as he could, I moved beside him. Despite our arms still tied up, we could move and we needed to move fast.

    Otherwise, the forest wouldn't end up being the only thing engulfed by fire.


    To Be Continued ...

  10. #55
    ^^ Safe-T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Location Location Location
    Posts
    280

    Default Re: Essence of Life - What Lies Within [VI]

    I really liked this chapter, there was a great dialogue between the two, and some hint to future character development.

    And there was a lot of excitement, which was new, and a good new.

    Your portrayal of the characters is still impeccable, and your writing style is great.

    Keep it up. ;)

    COMING SOON!

  11. #56
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,346
    Blog Entries
    564

    Follow Tsutarja on Tumblr

    Default Re: Essence of Life - What Lies Within [VI]

    Quote Originally Posted by SaFE View Post
    I really liked this chapter, there was a great dialogue between the two, and some hint to future character development.

    And there was a lot of excitement, which was new, and a good new.

    Your portrayal of the characters is still impeccable, and your writing style is great.

    Keep it up. ;)
    Thank you!

    I was aiming for an interesting dialogue, they're both interesting characters, after all. Oh, I'm hoping to keep up with the excitement as the pace of the story should start changing soon enough. Once again, thanks! :)

  12. #57
    Woof Thabet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Does it matter?
    Posts
    465
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default Re: Essence of Life - What Lies Within [Chapter VI]

    Huh, I believe you have a talent for characterization. I mean Gabriel I know of, but this Riley guy seems promising. And the interaction between them is very enjoyable. I found the chapter really good and it was great way to kick off the journey. My question qould be if that this gang is just bunch of crooks or are the an organized group, what are their motives may be.

    Great job, I look forward to more from you.

  13. #58
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,346
    Blog Entries
    564

    Follow Tsutarja on Tumblr

    Default Re: Essence of Life - What Lies Within [Chapter VI]

    Quote Originally Posted by Starbrow View Post
    My question qould be if that this gang is just bunch of crooks or are the an organized group, what are their motives may be.
    I guess I can answer this one.

    They're not an organization but simply a group of men who was paid by someone to cause the forest fire. If enough damage is caused, the forest will be torn down which some companies may wish to use for their advantage, e.g. for further development. But whether they're related to the main plot in some way, heh, I'll leave that one unanswered.

    I'm glad you liked their interactions, I was hoping they'd be interesting and amusing in a way.

    I hope the next chapter doesn't disappoint. Thank you for reading and commenting!

  14. #59
    It wasn't much! Flaze's Avatar Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Why do you care
    Posts
    59,705
    Blog Entries
    151
    Add Flaze on Facebook
    Follow Flaze on Tumblr Visit Flaze's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Essence of Life - What Lies Within [Chapter VI]

    Well I agree that it was a good way to kick off the journey. And I actually liked the fact that there's more to Riley than just...asshole-ness I wonder if there is even more to him than that though.

    That being said while your characterization was awesome and so was the pace of the chapter I felt it was a little lackluster during the end of it, though I guess you must be saving it for the best chapter.

    I also want to see who these guys are and why they want to burn down the forest, maybe they're part of a team or something else.

  15. #60
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Old World.
    Posts
    2,231
    Blog Entries
    329

    Default Re: Essence of Life - What Lies Within [Chapter VI]

    The last two chapters do seem very different.

    I wish I could say all I want to say, but it's quite late at night... I like how you left all the goodbyes and the farewells open for more development; the fact that nothing was definitive gives a lot of potential to these characters, and I feel that we might see more of them. Riley as a character was quite generic to begin with, and I like how he quickly shifted, and might get deconstructed in the upcoming chapters.

    That's all I have to say for now. Good job!

Page 4 of 8 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •