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Chapter III: Broken Wings
I didn’t want to tell him, but I knew I had to.
It wasn’t a big deal, but I had to make sure just in case.
Otherwise he would have developed this crazy, completely outlandish idea of some sort inside of his head - like me possibly agreeing to help Riley just in order to get away from Viridan, to get away from my inescapable problems. Or maybe he would have thought that anyway? It was crazy, I know, but how plausible would his idea have been? I knew by myself that the only reason I decided to help Riley was to teach him a lesson. He was snobby; he thought he was better than me. There was no other reason than that.
Yes.
No other reason.
Or so had I thought.
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The weather was sunny that fateful day and yet it felt gray and colorless more than ever. The tiny, brown pigeon Pokémon were singing cheerfully, the tiny purple-white mouse Pokémon were being as playful as always and I was outside, sitting at the doorstep of our house, crying. It’s only been a day since the news of my fathers’ death reached our family and due to my fathers’ body never being recovered; we delayed the funeral in frightening and yet relief-filled anticipation of my brothers’ return from the academy.
“Gabe?” I could recognize his voice deep anywhere.
I looked in front of me, avoiding eye contact focusing my view on his legs. I couldn’t muster the courage to look into Damien’s eyes; I felt a fear of some sort – a fear of seeing tears coming from his eyes. I noticed he was still in his academy uniform; he must have rushed back without even changing his clothes.
He kneeled down in front of me; I looked down again.
I was afraid.
I could sense his breath on my skin; I could hear his pumping heartbeat, as he approached me. Our heads lightly touched as his hands embraced me. He was crying, crying harder than ever. The realization of that stroke me harder than ever. It was the moment I realized things would never be the same again.
We cried together.
It was a gray and colorless day.
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It was funny how much I’ve gotten used to the wide, gray streets of Viridian. The city wasn’t something I preferred back in the days when I first moved here but somehow walking through the streets of Viridian felt nostalgic. Viridian City grew a lot in these last years as evident by the major development of the suburban area simply referred to a Viridian town – a place where my family miraculously got a place for living right after we moved from Saffron.
I never understood how, though. My father must have had some connections.
The streets were bustling with people; I couldn’t help but to wonder at the everyday busyness of the people nowadays. The air was smelly and although it felt like gasoline, strangely enough, I adored that scent. I always did. Though I couldn’t deny the fact that the people were ruining this planet little by little, it was a proven fact and they could do nothing to prevent it even if they set their mind to do so.
I breathed out as I looked across the crowded street; a great, tower-like building in design of an enormous, stone tree was rising from the ground surpassing the height of some average-sized buildings of this city. It was the official Viridian City Pokémon Gym, a structure that has been recently renovated with the arrival of a new gym leader. At the same time, the structure served its function as a Pokémon Trainer Club, allowing its enormous size to fit areas specially designed for Pokémon challenges and battles – it was a training hotspot for many trainers, both old ones and new ones.
Yes, that was the place where my brother worked. The whole building in itself never ceased to amaze me, whenever I would visit it, I’d feel the same enthusiasm and the monumental feeling of it enthrall me. It was simply one colossal structure.
I slowly walked across the cemented path; the glass door opened by themselves. I’m afraid that Damian didn’t share the same enthusiasm, though.
“Hey,” I greeted him with a gentle smile.
He didn’t seem pleased.
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“You are such an ass!” He dragged me out of the building.
Charming words, though I expected nonetheless from him. He was pissed and I could understand why. He cared about Mom; he cared a lot about her. One thing he didn’t understand though was the subtle hatred that was still slumbering within me. He was not the person denied of the last will from his father, I was. And that, he would never understand.
“You know, just because you’re dying doesn’t mean I can’t beat the crap out of you right now! Why the hell did you just leave? Do you know how much you hurt her?”
I remained silent, waiting for the moment when I could strike hard.
“You don’t care about anyone but yourself, huh? You’re so damn egoistic!”
His words tempted my coolness; I lost my temper beginning to get frustrated.
“Would you just shut up?” I yelled as loudly as I could.
“You were not the one who had his letter hidden by her! And you knew how much I cried because of Dad’s death and you knew how much I cared about him and yet you took her side at the end of the day. Am I really being the egoistic one when her selfish wishes were the reason I didn’t get the letter in the first place?”
“I mean, for crying out loud, she didn’t even give me the chance to read it fully. She burned half of the letter! She’s crazy! I’m sorry but I can’t forgive her!”
I felt disgusted.
Not disgusted by the thing my mother had done, but by the fact that it only took a moment for me to realize that I actually hated my mother, a woman who gave birth to me, who took care of me my entire life. At first I thought that my hatred it would pass eventually, but his words only re-incinerated the feelings I felt towards both of them.
I hated her, I was disgusted by that fact, but I couldn’t deny the feeling.
“Gabriel, she’s afraid of losing you, we both are,” he stated loudly.
We stared at each other for a good couple of minutes. It was amazing how much he had changed from his academy days. His body was now fully muscular, his hair was dark, short and tidy which fitted nicely with his hazel eyes.
Damian sighed scratching his head.
“Alright,” he breathed out. “We both need to cool off. Let’s go drink something, I’m buying.”
I stared at him for a few seconds before eventually agreeing.
We both stayed quiet on our way towards the place as I took a look around the city once again. Perhaps it is hard to believe, but this was actually the first time I witnessed Viridian city by night. It was a gorgeous sight; all the street lights slowly began shimmering as if by magic as the shadows of the night slowly overtook the last remaining bits of the daylight.
As I expected, we were there.
“Café Vertania,” the great logo above the structure said. It was a moderately sized café, pretty from the outside, classy from the inside.
A place where I’ve never been before, that’s for sure.
“Good evening. What would you like?” The waiter smoothly approached us.
“Hmm, I’ll take café au lait, please!”
Coffee oh what? The waiter looked at me patiently; waiting for me to make up my mind. A sudden, and pretty painful, kick from Damian’s side rushed my decision, though.
“Soda pop, please,” I requested as politely as I could.
“No! He’ll take café au lait, too!”
What? The café waiter nodded slowly leaving the two of alone at the squared wooden table. I looked at him confusingly, why did he just do that?
“Why did you just do that?” I asked in fierce annoyance.
“Why? You don’t like coffee?” He grinned almost mockingly.
“No, I don’t!”
I remained as quiet as possible in order not to grab too much attention. I hated getting too much attention from too many people; too much crowd would always make me nervous.
“Did you ever even try coffee?”
He grinned again, I rolled my eyes.
“Whatever, you’ll see by yourself that I don’t like it.”
In a few minutes, the waiter was back with two coffee cups. I wasn’t sure what to think of it, it was lightly brown, but it resembled chocolate milk with a few white spots in it.
“You’ll have to forgive her eventually.”
“Could we please not talk about Mom right now?”
“Fair enough, Gabriel, do you know why I initially wished to become a gym leader?”
His words threw me off, I suddenly found myself lost in the moment. This definitely wasn’t the topic I wished to discuss. Honestly, I never really liked the fact he was forced to leave the academy due to lack of money after our father died and I even more disliked the fact he was forced to find a job to help out Mom. Although Mom received incomes from other social services, they weren’t really much and Damian decided to help her out as much as he could.
“No,” I simply muttered at loss of words.
“It’s because of you.”
Unsure of what to say next I slowly grabbed the hold of a warm, white cup. He looked directly at me as I suddenly looked down. I slowly picked up the coffee cup bringing it closer to my mouth, the smell certainly was delicious. Blowing lightly a few times, I brought it up to my mouth slowly starting to drink it. It was still quite hot but I endured it, the aftertaste on my burning tongue was unique and kind of sweet – it tasted a little bit like milk.
I carefully put the cup down.
“This actually isn’t so bad. When did you start drinking coffee?”
He said nothing. Damian must have realized I was trying to change the topic.
“I was always jealous of you, Gabriel.” His first sentence caught me off guard.
“Even back when you were just a kid, I was jealous as hell,” he chuckled taking a sip of his coffee. “You were always so enthusiastic and full of hopes and dreams. I was jealous, because, he always paid more attention to you. He encouraged you, because you had dreams and I, on the other hand, had none.”
I wanted more attention, I wanted more love,” he continued “so I decided to do something different, something our father had always wished to accomplish but he never managed to do so.”
“He wanted to become a gym leader?” I asked in surprise.
Damian smiled. “No, he actually wanted to enroll on the academy. But his parents never allowed him to do so; at least that’s what he told me.”
“Why are you telling me all of this?” I asked.
“Because I wanted you to know, I was never really jealous like I thought. It was more like a feeling of admiration. And I miss that, I miss our old Gabriel.”
“Old Gabriel is gone,” I frowned. “He was crushed by tragedy and death. The new Gabriel isn’t as stupid as the old one, he’s clever and he knows that dreams never come true.”
“Gabe, just because I never managed to fully realize my dreams does not mean in any way that you should give up. My wings may have been broken, but you are still able to fly, Gabriel. Dad would definitely say that, he always wanted for his children to become something unique, something he could never be.”
I couldn’t believe it. It was almost as if I was reliving the past, my brother was trying to reawaken my previously lost hopes and ambitions much like Dad did it before him.
Unable to respond to his words, I took another sip of coffee.
It tasted good.
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I was home.
“Hey … Mom.”
There she was, with tears in her eyes standing on the floor as if she’s been waiting all day for me to come back home. My arrival put a wide smile on her face as she spread her arms towards me. But I couldn’t forgive her yet. As much as I felt bad about her and despite my wish to understand the motives behind her actions, she hurt me deeply.
“I’m going to bed now,” exchanging the glances with Damian I ran upstairs.
It was a long day, a day of decisions. My first decision was to stop crying over my sickness and deal with it. Tears wouldn’t fix anything, I needed to focus. My second decision was that I decided to “help” that boy Riley reach Pewter city safely and without trouble.
And my third decision, I decided not to tell him. Because I believe we would have both come to the same, inevitable conclusion. I wanted to travel and accomplish something before I died.
Because that’s who I was at the end of the day – a boy with his days counted.
For the sake of my cursed family.
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To Be Continued
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