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    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Post Essence of Life - Our Fates Entangled (4) [XIII] [BACK!]

    Author's Note: I know, I know, it's back, AGAIN. It's back and I want to finish it. I hope you can enjoy this! ^^

    Chapter Index
    Part 1




    Prologue - Angel's Lament



    I am dying – or am I?

    Because, instead of hearing the children’s wails I heard only a second earlier, the only sound I can hear is my mother downstairs, calling for me to get up. I close my eyes and open them up again, unsure whether this is reality or fiction.



    ///



    [/CENTER]
    My birthday had arrived once again and quite frankly, I wasn't excited.

    For the most part, because getting one year older was not something to be thrilled about, at least not for me. Most of my childishness was already sucked out by dreadful puberty - not to speak of my nonexistent life which resembled a social disaster more than anything else on this planet. My life pretty much sucked and I usually had nothing against it. I couldn't deny it though, this day was going to turn out just like any other birthday of mine.

    My mother will throw a "surprise" party for me, invite our entire family and friends, make some special pancakes that I love so dearly, all the usual stuff. I will smile, pretend to be overly ecstatic about it and go to bed late at night.

    This was going to be yet another completely ordinary day.

    In the aftermath of falling asleep late at night, I found myself feeling strangely exhausted the next morning. I rolled around a couple of times in my cozy, average sized bed and then a couple of times more before lazily, almost unknowingly pulling the white sheets off myself. Slight coolness drifting through the sheets made my body shiver. Managing to shield my eyes from the blinding light of the great glowing sun, I checked my cell for the time.

    “You’ve got to be kidding me! Seven a.m.?”

    I cried in annoyance letting myself sink into coziness of my bed again. How was it possible that after only four hours of sleep one could wake up this early? I was tired and sleepy but nothing could make me fall asleep again. I was fully awake and grumpy enough to let a single word make me kill someone.

    “This isn’t happening,” ignoring the sudden feeling of imbalance in my head I rushed out of my bed towards the window - much to my luck, the weather outside was in perfect harmony with what I wished for it to be; it was ideal.

    Branches swaying on the light morning breeze, the fresh smell of the autumn morning, crowds of wild Pokémon moving across the sky, all those were things that made me feel happy. My mother would often tell me how after my father died, I seemed to have changed. She said I used to posses enthusiasm over the silliest things, but that was gone now. I began questioning life and the very meaning of it. My brother called me cynical, I preferred the term realistic.

    After all, all life always ended the same way - with death.

    My father always encouraged me to become a Pokémon Trainer despite my mother’s fierce reaction towards the very topic of pocket monsters. Initially, I was ecstatic about it. I was a great battle addict who believed that if a bond between a trainer and his partner was strong enough, there would be no limits to their potential. After my father died, however, my belief faded and somewhere along the way, I lost my will for fighting as well.

    “Gabriel, honey? You’re already up!”

    Her voice pulled me back into reality.

    I could recognize that voice anywhere, it was as gentle as her soft, cherished skin and and strong as her ferocious personality. It was my mother, Jenna. She didn’t have it easy for the last couple of years and thus my brother and I kept doing our best to make her know and feel she’s not alone. She suffered a lot, though, and nothing could ever change what she went through.

    “Are you okay?” She stepped worriedly inside the room, I could notice slightly dark rings under her emerald green eyes.

    I gazed at her for a moment not realizing my head was in pain.

    “Yeah, I’m fine,” I shook my head while answering. “Did you sleep well?”

    "Oh yes, of course, I just got up earlier and being in the mood for cooking I made some special pancakes coated with the Sitrus berry syrup. What do you say? Hungry?”

    The way she phrased her sentence made me chuckle.

    “Sure, I’ll be right down.”

    She giggled before cheerfully running out of my room.

    I always felt obligated to respect my mother for what she represented. Not because she was my parent, but because she endured so much pain while having to work in order to raise both my brother and me. She was a free-spirited person, she believed in destiny, she believed that there was a greater goal behind everything. Personally, I couldn’t make myself believe any of that crap, it felt too convenient to be true.

    A person suffering for a greater goal - God surely wouldn’t be that cruel.

    But I didn’t believe in God, so who was I judge?

    “Ah!”

    There it was – the same feeling in my stomach. This time I didn't just lose my balance, a pain rushed through my head as my heart began pumping. Within next seconds I found myself on the bed only to realize that my headache was long gone.

    "What the ...?“ Giving no importance to what had just happened, I yawned heading downstairs in order to take care of more important stuff – such as eating.


    I can not even describe the following smells that overwhelmed my senses as I made my way into the living room. Being just a step away from the kitchen, the smell of our living room changed accordingly to the meals Mom would prepare. It was pretty tempting, so to say, most of the time we could barely hold out before the meals were served. Speaking of the living room, our house, well our house wasn't exactly a big place since we couldn't afford “big” stuff - in fact, it was very modest and due to the lack of space our kitchen crossed over with the living room.

    One could say our house was somewhat of a humble structure - a two story building along with a small garden outside which my mother would cherish every now and then. She would often say it was her petite paradise.

    I looked in front of me.

    My brother, Damian, was already taking up the entire couch. “Well, good morning to you too!” I said in a mocking way.
    He paid no attention to my words. Rolling my eyes, I realized how that much attention could have only been given either to a really hot girl or an amazing Pokémon battle. Shivers overtook my skin as I looked at the screen - my fathers face flashed in my mind. Once again, I couldn’t watch a single battle without the memory of him emerging in my head - it was almost as if he was haunting me.

    I was often confused about the relationship between my brother, my father and myself. Damian was always the older sibling and yet it always seemed like as if I was the one who had more connection to Dad than he did. Damian wanted to study Pokémon battles and become a specialized trainer. After a huge argument with Mom, he set off to the Pokémon Academy but was forced to return once he learned of our fathers death.

    The tragedy of the event reconciled Mom and Damian prompting them to become close again but as Damian broke off his studies, he could never become a proper gym leader he hoped to become. Instead, he began his job as a worker in one of the gym arenas.

    Yes, dreams were nothing but false illusions built up inside of our heads.

    “Man, this is one amazing combat!”

    I snapped back into reality.

    A battle between two of the most powerful trainers of Kanto was taking place as their ace Pokémon kept exchanging hurtful blows.

    I suddenly began to breathe heavily but subtly.

    On the left side of the arena, a pompous, self-absorbed prick stood in the way as if he owned the stadium. His aerial, elegantly shaped bird Pokémon confronted a fully evolved muscular, horn creature. Obviously at the greater advantage, the feathered pigeon monster, Pidgeot, covered itself in a blazing blue aura as it moved at swift, almost untraceable speed prompting the land Pokémon, Nidoking, to step back in order to prepare himself for the full impact.

    The furious pumping of my heart continued. It was a breathtaking battle, something so powerful that it was able to give someone back the battle spirits they once possesed but lost. That was how I felt, I took a deep breath before running out of the house. Memories began overflowing me, I was at the verge of tears.

    "Gabriel? Where you are going?“ Mom suddenly asked.

    "Eh, I need to take some fresh air!“ I answered rushingly shutting the door behind me.

    After all this time, the memories of my Dad began raging once again.


    *




    Viridian City, albeit being an evergreen paradise covered in greenness, was not exactly a place where I could say I had a happy childhood. Upon suddenly moving in this city with my family, I lost contact with all my former friends from Saffron. To make things even worse, most of the kids in Viridian acted like morons towards me except for the selected few who actually treated newcomers nicely. I guess that, if there was one positive outcome that resulted from my fathers death, it was that I stopped giving a damn since that point on.

    Kids eventually left me alone realizing how I didn’t give a crap as I kept on with my life still wondering what was the point of it all. I separated myself from the others focusing all my love and support to what had remained from my family – my mother and Damian.

    One simple thing, though, made my life in Viridian much more bearable.

    Two years ago, a lab founded by the APCS (Association of Pokémon Chairman Society) found its place in the idile of this place. In association with the famous breeders around the world, the established research lab was licensed with the ability to give away Pokémon selectively breed for the new trainers.

    The researcher in charge was a professor, a young woman, Katie Amaryllis. Soon after she settled down, I applied as an assistent. Even though most of my work consisted of taking out trash and wiping the dust, it was worth it as I got to witness her evolution research with my own eyes as well as the creation of the new Pokedex.

    I knocked on the door lightly expecting to find no one.

    "Hello? Professor?“

    Three Pokémon greeted me at the entrance, each in its own unique way.

    On the very left of the great desk rested a pretty young grass Pokémon. The big bulb was the first thing that caught my attention; it looked incredibly unique and mysterious at the same time. I was aware of the fact that the bulb was the source of Bulbasaur’s energy but I could only imagine what was actually inside of it.

    I chuckled taking another step closer.

    It looked at the middle one. It was obviously a fire type, judging by its lively flame on its tail; it resembled a child-kike orange lizard. The creature grinned at me, much to my surprise - that thing actually acknowledged my existence. Strange feeling of warmness overtook me.

    And the last, but not the least was the water turtle Pokémon, the only of the three who was actually frightened by my appearance.

    "Geez, I don't look that ugly, do I?"

    I muttered while grinning, though the light blue creature withdrew itself inside of its seemingly adamant shell.

    “What are you doing here?”

    Her high-pitched voice was as “charming” as always. Professor Amaryllis or how I wasn’t allowed to call her, Katie, was a pretty woman with stunning looks for her age. She was barely in her thirties but I insisted on calling her an, and I quote, “old hag" much to her dismay. We didn’t share exactly a friendly relationship but for some odd reason she kept me around. Perhaps it was due to the mutual respect we felt for each other.

    “Umm, I came to work?” I answered keeping my stare focused at the Pokémon.

    “Your services are not needed today, now shoo!” She pointed towards the door.

    Yes, the respect we felt for each other.

    She replied hastily starting to hit me. Prof. Amaryllis was usually a kind person – that is, when she wasn’t being a total bi*ch towards me.

    “Why are you being like that? It’s my birthday?” That’ll show her.

    “Oh, happy birthday," she smiled kindly bringing out ladylike kindness out of her, "now get out!” The hag was back.

    “Why are you so nervous today?” I asked.

    “Because a boy whose father is one of the men funding my research and the lab is coming today for his first Pokémon along with him. I want everything to be flawless and for that to happen, you need to go.”

    Her hands were shivering, I could feel that this really was important for her.

    "I understand. If that's the case, I'll be going now."

    She softly smiled at me nodding her head. "Thank you, Gabriel.“

    It was one of the rare moments of friendship and understanding between the professor and me. I could see that in her genuine smile she cared about me and that molesting me 24/7 was just one of her festishes both she and I enjoyed. I chuckled to myself deciding to leave the lab. And then, I suddenly felt it.

    My body began shaking; I suddenly found myself on the floor. The professor rushed towards me, she seemed worried in a way.

    "Gabe? What's wrong?"

    "Not again," I subconsciously responded grabbing my head. It was the same pain from this morning but only incredibly painful.

    Before I knew it, everything faded out.


    *


    "Gabriel? My angel, are you awake?"

    I barely opened my eyes feeling the exact tiresomeness from this morning. White colors blinded me, everything around me was snow white. I was shocked to learn that I was actually lying in a hospital bed of the Viridian City Clinic, after which my mother rushed in to see me.

    "You're awake!" She embraced me tightly, I could see that she's been sobbing earlier. “Oh, thank God, you’re awake!”

    I remained calm, there must have been an explanation.

    "What happened?" I asked.

    "You fainted at the lab. Katie was so worried that she drove you herself in the hospital. Oh Gabe, I wouldn’t bear if anything happened to you.”

    Professor Amaryllis – worried? About me?

    "She also said you might have experienced this before. Is that true?"

    I hesitated, the last thing I needed was for my mom to worry.

    "Gabriel, I need you to be honest," she looked at me with her clear, incredibly deep brown eyes.

    I decided to tell her the truth. I told her about the tiresomeness I experienced throughout the entire day as well as the slight feeling imbalance and headache from this morning. Her logical conclusion was that I collapsed from hunger. I found that hard to believe.

    Soon enough, the doctor arrived deciding to do a blood exam for some strange reason. He said he needed to take some further examinations on me in order to find out what exactly was wrong with me. I didn't worry too much at the time as I co-operated with him firmly believing how nothing was wrong with me. After series of blood exams and CT scans, my mother soon learned the diagnosis.

    The next day, I woke up and found her sitting at the chair next to my bed. Bags on her eyes were pretty large; one could tell that she didn't sleep through the night. "Good morning," I smiled to her, though she kept her frown.

    I shivered suddenly, a shimmer of doubt emerged inside of me. Why was this woman in front of me so silent and sad? Why wasn't she smiling back at me? I rarely saw her like this. "Mom?"

    “What happened?” I asked.

    "They have the diagnosis," she said weakly, almost as if she was forcing herself to speak out the words.

    "And?" I asked, this time with a bit more concern.

    I can still remember the moment when she said it. "Do you really want to know?"

    She broke out in a terrible cry again; her sadness started tearing my heart apart. I never saw her so sad, she was always a cheerful housewife full of love and happiness for all, but now - she was different. She had lost my father and felt almost as if she was going to lose me as well.

    "Mom, tell me! What happened, what's wrong?" I grabbed her gentle hands hoping that would calm her. She got up slowly placing her legs over my bed, she lay by my side. It reminded of the times when we would read good night stories together before I fell asleep. Leaning her head on mine, she started whispering, her hand tightly holding mine.


    *




    I was home.

    "SURPRISE!"

    I opened the door as a bunch of people jumped out; they were all so happy and cheerful. Colorful balloons flied everywhere across the living room, little children ran over to me with presents in their tiny hands and I … I remained cold. My brother noticed the frown on my face; I couldn't bear it any longer. I ran up the stairs on the verge of tears jumping furiously on my bed.

    Soon after me, my brother worriedly entered the room.

    What was I supposed to say? How am I supposed tell my big brother that I have only six months left to live?


    To Be Continued
    Last edited by Tsutarja; 15th August 2012 at 01:28 AM.

  2. #2
    BAM Cosmos's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Angels' Lament [Prologue]

    I really liked the way you started your Story,
    It gave it a dark almost gloomy feel to it, which suited it really well.

    I really like Gabriel. How loving he is toward his mother and brother but how cold he is too the rest of the world.
    His snide sarcastic sense of humor also really appealed to me.
    The old Hag part made me laugh. A lot.

    I was really sad by the end. Maybe he'll find like a supernatural way to fix his illness.

    Your grammar was impeccable and pretty much flawless,
    I only found one same mistake that was obviously just an accidental typo.

    I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
    I'd be awesome if you could but me of the mention list :)
    Keep up the amazing work.
    Tsutarja likes this.
    Black FC: 1420 9561 6865
    Pearl FC:1506 8850 5973

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    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Angels' Lament [Prologue]

    Thank you so much for your comment! And yes, I'd love to have you at my mention list. :>
    Cosmos likes this.

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    you'll be the end of me. an illegible mess.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Angels' Lament [Prologue]

    i remember reading this story a while back. glad to see it's back. i really do like the description you put in this, and the plot seems very interesting! i'd like to read more.

  5. #5
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Angels' Lament [Prologue]

    Thank you! :)

    I'm glad you're reading this again! Yeah, I'll be rewriting some parts where I was lacking in description department. ^^

  6. #6
    Woof Thabet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Angels' Lament [Prologue]

    Very impressive! This is a great prologue. You have alot of great things going on here, but I'm going to try my best to point out what I liked, disliked and a little advice, too.

    Alright. The good... First off. Gabriel. Really good character you have here. In the prologue alone, you gave me somewhat of a full profile of Gabriel's personality. He's unique, deep and very original, add the fact that this guy has cancer (I think ) and you have quite a mix there. Personally, I'm interested in seeing Gabriel's development throughout the story. The description of his feelings and emotions are also very well done.

    Now there aren't any major problems so far, so you keep on it and know that you're on the right track.

    But, I did notice a few typo's here and there. I would suggest you give another good read. Try reading it aloud, to minimise error.

    Now your story is first-person narration, which is a little tricky at times and hard to get right. It can be a pain to describe the main character (since you have to give a good reason for him to describe himself in the first place) or any other thing for that matter. You have to remember to keep things in his perspective (which you're doing a great job at) and keep a watchful eye for the details. Just a word of caution.

    As a final note, I wanted to mention that this sentence did confuse me somewhat.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tsutarja View Post

    It was one of the rare moments of friendship and understand between the professor and me. I could see that in her genuine smile she cared about me and that molesting me 24/7 was just one of her festishes both she and I enjoyed. I chuckled to myself deciding to leave the lab. And then, I suddenly felt it.
    Frankly, that sentence didn't make that much sense. Molesting is a bit of a touchy subject so using that sentence can be a little risky, since the reader may interpret it in different ways and it didn't really give much meaning or description anyway. That's just my opinion, though.

    Now all things aside. You have done a great job so far and laid done rock-solid foundations for what I expect to be a great story. Good luck!

    P.S. I caught that little connection. The main character's name is Gabriel and the story is called "Angel's Lament". Yes, yes, I know I'm awesome. :3

  7. #7
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Angels' Lament [Prologue]

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    But, I did notice a few typo's here and there. I would suggest you give another good read. Try reading it aloud, to minimise error.
    Ah, okay, I'll try that out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    Now your story is first-person narration, which is a little tricky at times and hard to get right. It can be a pain to describe the main character (since you have to give a good reason for him to describe himself in the first place) or any other thing for that matter. You have to remember to keep things in his perspective (which you're doing a great job at) and keep a watchful eye for the details. Just a word of caution.
    I understand, thank you! I decided to go with the first person because despite the fact I'll be introducing other characters, it's Gabriel's story I want to tell. The lone title is the premise of my story. I'd also like to add that the disease is not cancer, but is deadly nevertheless.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    Frankly, that sentence didn't make that much sense. Molesting is a bit of a touchy subject so using that sentence can be a little risky, since the reader may interpret it in different ways and it didn't really give much meaning or description anyway. That's just my opinion, though.
    Well Gabriel was just kinda making a joke, but I see your point. I'll try to rephrase that. ^^

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    Now all things aside. You have done a great job so far and laid done rock-solid foundations for what I expect to be a great story. Good luck!
    Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope you stick around! :>

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    P.S. I caught that little connection. The main character's name is Gabriel and the story is called "Angel's Lament". Yes, yes, I know I'm awesome. :3
    Yes you are! Yep, it was intentional. I was actually thinking of having angelic/demonic references in each chapter title. ^^;

  8. #8
    The small giant Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Angels' Lament [Prologue]

    Well it's definitely darker compared to the other two or at least darker when it comes to Gabe's personality and his backstory actually this sort of justifies Gabe's mom having a nervous breakdown later on and kinda makes it sadder :( anyways the grammar and description were good, actually you probably could've used a little more description but it was still great.

  9. #9
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Angels' Lament [Prologue]

    Quote Originally Posted by Stellar Haze View Post
    Well it's definitely darker compared to the other two or at least darker when it comes to Gabe's personality and his backstory actually this sort of justifies Gabe's mom having a nervous breakdown later on and kinda makes it sadder :( anyways the grammar and description were good, actually you probably could've used a little more description but it was still great.
    I see, thank you! I'll be handling things a little differently this time, though. ;)

  10. #10
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Post Essence of Life - Never Ask Why [Chapter I]

    Double post for a new chapter! :)

    A/N: While the prologue of my story contained fragments from the original first chapter of my old "Essence of Life", the first chapter of my final version contains completely original material, as in, I wrote a completely new text. xD C&C is always welcome! I hope you enjoy it! :D

    @Cosmos [if anyone else wishes to be tagged, please let me know! ^^]


    Chapter I:
    Never Ask Why



    It used to happen often, back when he was still around.

    Only one of those many days remained carved in my memory, though. It was a stormy evening - harsh, cold winds crushed their way through the thick trees and bushes swallowing the previously untouched silence of the summer. Raging thunder of the dark sky caused uproars every now and then; I could sense the loud bangs echo in my ears.

    I passionately hated storms.

    That same evening, I was wondering around the house. It's been two months ever since we've moved in this place and yet I knew it as the back of my hand. I suddenly saw it - warm light emanating from one of the rooms, more-so, strange sounds could be heard coming from the room. I immediately identified the place as my fathers' work room.

    With careful steps, I made my way into the room.

    He was crying, it was the fourth time I caught him like that, I had counted.

    „Dad?“

    His sobbing stopped. My appearance prompted him to grab his head slowly.

    „Gabriel, come!“ he softly whispered. I nodded walking towards the desk where he sat – it appeared to me as if he was writing something. Having the lights gone out, he relied on the shimmering spark of a simple candle which pierced through the darkness surrounding the room.

    „Why are you crying?“

    A question so simple and yet so complicated at the same time. I didn't understand it at the time and I still don't understand it that well, but something was tormenting him.

    I took a good look at the face of my old man. Despite being at the age of thirty-three, his face looked pale and entirely worn out. His glasses were the part I liked about him the most, they were round and funny and they completely enhanced the greenness of his eyes for some reason. His hair was short just like mine back and it was dark exactly like mine – Mom would often say we looked like twins.

    „Did you change your mind about becoming the best Pokémon trainer?“ he said with such delicacy and trace of sadness within his breath that I almost cried.

    Nevertheless, he avoided my question. I simply nodded remaining persistent.

    „Why are you crying? What's wrong?“ I asked again.

    He suddenly laughed wiping the tears of his face.

    „Nothing is wrong, see? “ He smiled at me like only a father could smile at his son.

    We remained there, both staring at each other. He kept smiling and soon enough I ended up smiling with him. „Let's go downstairs,“ I said, „let's all be together!“

    „I'll be there in a minute,“ he answered spontaneously.

    „Okay!“

    And I believed him.

    I grinned before running out of his workroom. It was a stormy night, filled with family laughter and lonely tears. My father soon joined us in the living room and I suddenly stopped caring about the weather, I stopped caring about the world outside. Three persons I loved the most were sitting next to me and despite the void of infinite darkness surrounding the entire house and our bodies, our hearts were emanating with love we felt for each other.

    It was the happiest time of my life.




    „Gabe, open up! Locking yourself won’t do any good!”

    I remained still in my qualm. Looking at the clock I realized that it's been two hours ever since I locked myself into the room. I was way past the point of crying, despair and hatred towards myself engulfed me. I didn't know why exactly, possibly because of the realization that I achieved nothing by this point of my life.

    Now I had around six months left and there was slight-to-none chance of surviving.

    „Gabriel, I swear to God if you don't open this door right now, I'll break – „

    Unpleasant surprise untangled on his face as he witnessed the door open, I slowly, almost lifelessly, sat back on the bed.

    „Gabriel,“ he mumbled out but couldn’t seem to say anything else. Nothing that didn’t surprise me, he was never a great talker and as such, we rarely shared intimate conversations.

    „Where is she?“ I asked nonchalantly, saving him the pain from speaking.

    „Where do you think she is? In her room, crying.“

    I chuckled at the irony.

    „Why? She's not the one who's dying,“ I could feel the force of his punch upon the impact on my arm. He was obviously angered by my response.

    „Do you think this is funny?“ he raised his voice.

    „I don't know what to think anymore,“ I wanted to yell back, but I couldn’t.

    „Just look at what became of our family. We were once happy and then suddenly, Dad died. And then everything changed. What will happen once I die? How much will change then?“

    He turned his head away as I sighed.

    „Look, I'm so confused right now, I don't even know what to think.“

    „What would he say?“ He means Dad, I thought.

    „Follow your dreams,“ I answered with a slight chuckle, „or something along those cheesy lines. Something Dad-like, anyway. He always knew the best words.“

    „That reminds me,“ he suddenly said. „You and I never got to talk about the letters. It's been a while since we've actually talked but I never really asked you what yours said.“

    I suddenly lost myself in the confusion.

    „What letter are you talking?“

    I could see it the darkness of his black eyes, his pupils widened in shock as if I had said something terrible. His face suddenly went pale as he rushed out of the room.
    -



    „Damian?“

    I followed him nervously, he was heading towards Mom's room in a fast pace. He barged through the door as I entered right after him. A letter burning in my mothers' hand and a lighter under it – an insane look on her face I would never forget. It was horrifying.

    „Mom, stop it!“

    A normal person would have helped, but no, I just stood there gazing in confusion as the flames carefully swallowed the paper in their power.

    Next thing I know, Mom was pushed away by Damian back at the bed as he tried putting out the flames. My brother was desperately trying to save it. Why? I could feel my breathing get faster with each second as my mother soon started yelling at him. The flames were out as he reclaimed the ashy, burnt piece of paper in his hands. She was looking at the other side, as if we weren’t present.

    It felt like a dream.

    „What the hell are you doing?“ his shout intimidated me, I never saw him this pissed. Uncomfortable silence slowly made its way into the room as she began crying once more. Who was this woman in front of me? Quiet sobbing penetrating the soft silence, a reminder of the fateful night I caught my father crying.

    “Why are you crying?”

    Was I really dreaming?

    „It's been five years and you didn't give him the letter?“ He yelled again, causing my body to shiver. Five years, I haven’t seen a tear on her eye since then.

    “He needs to know! How could you not tell him?”

    Damian’s voice of rage and disappointment slowly transformed into a voice of reason and calmness. I kept gazing as he sat next to her, she fell in his arms.

    “Tell me what?”




    I always wished I could share my mothers’ ideals.

    There is always a greater purpose to everything that happens?

    Was I really supposed to believe that the supposed “God” would have separated a loving family a piece by piece only for its own personal amusement or so-called greater purpose? I doubted it. There was no destiny, there were no dreams - there was only a cruel reality. Because at the end of the day, people we love the most betray us in ways we would have never imagined.

    We are born alone, we live alone and we die alone.

    “Dad left a letter after his death?”

    It seemed as if my words hurt more than the actual crime she committed. Damian was still hugging her, of course, someone had to comfort her.

    “Why didn’t you give me my letter? How come you gave Damian his and you never gave me mine? Why did you do that?”

    I didn’t realize until that point how upset I actually was. I was at the verge of tears but the sudden rage that flamed inside of me kept me from it.

    That scene kept playing over and over in my head. But no matter how much I played it over, I couldn’t find any excuse for what she had done to me. The letter, half-burnt, somewhat blackish was resting in my palms.

    “You have to understand, back when your father died, I was crushed, and you of all people know the best how I felt.”

    “Continue,” I said.

    “I knew how much your father urged you to become a Pokémon Trainer and exactly how much your goal meant to him. I didn’t want you to leave, Gabriel. I was afraid that his words would encourage you to move on and do what you always dreamed of – which was leaving Viridian and deciding to travel.”

    “So you decided to hide my letter? Why today? You’ve had this letter in possession for five freakin’ years and today is the day you decide to burn it?”

    She looked away. It suddenly dawned to me.

    “Because you were scared that my disease would bring out those feelings again.”

    “No!” she exclaimed. “Because I couldn’t afford to lose my son right after losing my husband,” her voice suddenly silenced as she began crying again.

    “So you couldn’t have given me the letter and then tried to talk to me like a reasonable person would do? Instead, you betrayed me so the things could go your away? What kind of a mother does that?”

    I shook my head in stress deciding to leave before she could say anything else.


    -



    “Why did you do this, mom?” I said to myself gently moving my fingers over the rough surface.

    The Viridian City plaza was packed with people as always, you couldn’t step a foot into the soft grass of the park without accidentally stepping on someone. The weather was the one of my favorite kind, windy and not fully, but slightly sunny. I never liked too much sun, part of the reason why I was pale.

    I looked at the letter again. At once, I stopped hesitating. The time had come to read the last words my father left for me. I unfolded the paper realizing how more than the half of the paper burned out, only a fragment was left. Taking a deep breath, I proceeded.



    … … … 10 … I … do … just ... I know that my words, my actions, my tears of regret will never … able to make up for the terrible destiny I linked to you, but I will keep hoping for your forgiveness. Mistakes can’t be erased but I can only say that no matter how bad the things seem, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing is set in stone, Gabriel, you are the forger of your own destiny.

    Don’t let anything stop you, my angel.

    Spread your wings and fly.
    With all my love, Dad.




    My destiny …


    To Be Continued
    Last edited by Tsutarja; 16th February 2012 at 03:01 PM.

  11. #11
    Woof Thabet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Never Ask Why [Chapter I]

    Oh, oh me! Tag me!

    ... oh and please.

    ------------------------

    Soooo, the plot thickens. Of course, its a bit harder to review the chapters after the first intial review because you've already pointed everything out in general, which leaves you with reviewing each chapter alone, which usually don't give that much to comment on, but I'll try.

    Gabriel's character only gets more intriguing, doesn't he? After all this time, he found out that his mother has been holding out on him a letter from his dad. The same dad who made this guy into the emo he is today, I can only imagine his feelings. His brother showed a little more presence this time around, something I found refreshing. Siblings are underrated in stories... :(

    Is this going to be a journey fic? And by the way... don't abandon this story; its really good and I will personally haunt you if you do. :P

  12. #12
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Never Ask Why [Chapter I]

    Quote Originally Posted by Jinoga View Post
    Is this going to be a journey fic? And by the way... don't abandon this story; its really good and I will personally haunt you if you do. :P
    Yes, journeying will be involved. But whether this will turn out to be a regular trainer fic. remains to be seen. And yeah, you're right, wow, the lack of siblings in fan fictions in surprisingly low now that I think about it. :O

    I didn't realize Gabe was an emo, oh God. XD

    Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate any comment I can get.

  13. #13
    ◓Gypsy Vanner Horse Kyuuketsuki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Never Ask Why [Chapter I]

    Just read the Prologue and the first Chapter, and I must say, the story has improved a lot.

    Gabriel seems to be a much more mature character this time around. I can see that the start of the story changed, and I'm glad to see that, from what I can tell, the journey will start sooner this time around.

    I do recommend you beta-read your chapters, as there are a few mistakes scattered around, but overall, still a great concept, and I'm looking forward to see what happens next.

  14. #14
    ポケモン Tsutarja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Never Ask Why [Chapter I]

    Thank you! And oh God, what happened with all the quotation marks? ._.

    EDIT: Oh okay, it's been fixed! ^^

    The next chapter will introduce a completely new character of mine. :D
    Last edited by Tsutarja; 17th February 2012 at 07:28 AM.

  15. #15
    The small giant Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Essence of Life - Never Ask Why [Chapter I]

    This chapter was great the sadness and emotion into it really impressed me and now it's obvious that it's going to be different from the original. I wonder what Gabe will decide now, honestly I think the story would be better if it wasn't a journey fic xD maybe introduce a bigger plot into it.

    Anyways I really like Gabe, he's a more complex character than before he became depressed when he found out he was going to die but considering all the other crap he had against him it just added up instead of being a punch to the gut.

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