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  1. #31
    sink. an illegible mess.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: the devil's gift. {non-pokemon}

    just an update: again, sorry about the inconvenience about the latest chapter. i am probably going to finish it this week, at least hopefully. it's looking pretty good right now. i've probably got... about five to seven pages so far? it's going pretty good. i just want to say this so people know that this thread isn't dead, lol. i'm just taking my time in writing this as it is the last chapter and i want people to be pleased.

    thank you!

    -starlight (lady lucifer).

  2. #32
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    Default Re: the devil's gift. {non-pokemon}

    OH THE HORROR.

    I DIDN'T FINISH THIS ON TIME

    *le gasp*

    i think it was worth the wait... want to know how long this bitch is?

    twenty-six pages.

    twenty fucking six PAGES.

    UGH.

    YOU BETTER LIKE IT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN CRYING SINCE GOD KNOWS WHEN >:C

    epilogue is coming soon btw.

    chapter twenty; death and all of his friends.


    I got home and threw myself on my bed, still crying non-stop after what I saw. Tracey had calmed me down enough at the scene; if it weren't for her, I'd probably have another seizure.

    Tracey wanted to keep an overnight watch on me, where she'd sleepover and make sure I remained okay. I told her it wasn't necessary and that she should just get back to work. I just wanted to make it quick and kill myself while she was away. When she'd come back to visit for the next day, she'd find me dead and there would be nothing else she could do about it.

    As I laid on my bed, I thought of many ways to kill myself. I was stuck between tying a noose and hanging myself, or stealing a bunch of morphine and hitting myself up with a ton of it so I could overdose. I decided on the morphine because it’d be a little less painful, if I felt any pain, and it would look like an accident when Tracey would find me. I didn’t know if it was possible to overdose on my pills, but I could look it up to see. Oh well, who cares. Let them know it was plain suicide and not mourn over my body. I didn’t need that kind of treatment to my corpse; I wasn’t that great of a person.

    My stomach was growling with hunger and sharp pains nipped at my sides like hungry piranhas. Well, if I was killing myself, I might as well have a last meal.

    Wiping my tears on my shirt and smearing snot on it from my runny nose, I went into the kitchen and dug around in the freezer. I found a tub of ice cream, and, feeling rather cliché, I began to eat my feelings.

    I ate half of the tub of vanilla ice cream in a few minutes, my puffy red face swelling up as I sobbed and ate glob after glob of thick white sugary goodness. There wasn't a mirror nearby, but I realized how ridiculous I must seem, gobbling all this shit down with tears streaming down my face. I was an overemotional pig.

    I think I really need to man up.

    Here I go again with the back and forth motion. There are times when I deny myself of something and end up arguing with my mind. Should I do this, or this? Is it better off if I do this, or this? Why am I doing this, when I could do this? On, and on, and on.

    I sighed and put the ice cream up, getting rid of the rest of my tears and trying to put on a brave face. Still, I couldn't just push everything aside and let it go. This issue would stay for a long time.

    I needed help, but I wasn't going to get any, because I was too far gone. Tracey and her crew had done their best, but I was simply out of it. Yes, I was going to kill myself, it was decided, but I still had a last minute errand to do.

    Yeah, I remember that certain place on a certain street after meeting a certain few people. Call me a whore, but I've been there more than a dozen times and I'm considered a regular. Tracey caught me a couple times slinking off during the night to go visit and have some fun, and she's always asked me where I go and what I do. I just tell her I go to places and try to meet new people. She half-believes me, but I know she really doesn't trust me.

    Too bad for her, because I'm giving it a second try. I'm going to actually try to find someone worthwhile here. Not a prostitute, not a drunkard, not a sex addict, a real loving person who will be just as protective, caring, and lovable as Chris was.

    I waited until the evening to go out, and when dusk arrived I walked out into the warm late spring night. Summer was arriving soon, I could feel it in the air. I breathed in the scent of freshly cut grass from the lawn across my apartment and headed into my car.

    Surprising, right? I decided that rules didn't matter in my state. Who cares if I had my driver's license taken away? It wasn't like I'd be pulled over by a policeman. He can't see that I don't have one right now; I just had to be careful.

    It took me about an hour to get to the gay bar. It was ten o'clock at night when I arrived, and it was usually the time when it was most packed. It was open until three in the morning, so I could stay here for a couple of hours and scope around. I couldn't just pick anyone.

    I walked inside, my head down and my hands in my pockets as I headed towards the bar. I sat in my usual seat and waited until the bartender came around. It was the same cute guy as usual (I learned his name was Carlos after coming here the second time. I did hook up with him once).

    He came up to me, his teeth glinting in the bar light as he smiled when he saw me, “The usual?” He asked.

    I nodded and he went to go get what I always wanted. He winked at me when he came back and I ignored him. Ever since we hooked up, Carlos has been coming on to me. However, I just don't feel that anything clicks with him. Yeah, he's hot and all, but that's about it. He isn't that smart and he has anger issues. I told him that I like him, but not in that way. Boy, was he turned off after I said that to him.

    Still, he tries and I always get a little aggravated when he does try to attract me somehow.

    I drank my beer quietly and I glanced around. No one pleasing was inside so I decided to sit back and wait a little while for someone to come in and catch my eye. If I didn't find anyone, I'd just come back another night. I was bound to find someone though, I could just feel it.

    The door opened as I was taking another sip and the man who walked in made me choke and have to receive a pat on the back by the onlooking Carlos behind me.

    This man was cute and I mean cute. Cute as in hot. Hot as in sexy. Sexy as in... You get the point. I fidgeted in my seat and looked a little closer at his angelic face. His skin was fair and smooth. His face was wide, and narrowed to a delicate point at his nose and chin. His expression was unreadable, but his amber eyes were kind. He had golden brown hair that was fairly long and curled up at the ends. He had stopped to look around at the place when he came in, and I sat there, surveying how the muscles on his body rippled as he took small steps forward while gazing at everyone sitting down.

    Please sit next to me, please sit next to me, please sit next to me... I thought to myself as I turned around and stared at my half empty bottle of beer.

    There was a squeak of a bar stool beside me as the guy decided to take a seat next to me. I mumbled a “yes” under my breath and stole a peek at him.

    Carlos had come up to him with a smile and winked at him. No, he was not going to steal this man from me. I felt like throwing the beer bottle in my palm at his head.

    He just asked what the guy wanted though and he ordered in a quiet voice. I blinked in surprise. Maybe he's shy? Carlos caught me looking at the guy and I sharply turned away. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “You gotta be sly with this one. He's a little slippery.”

    I just nodded and bit my lip, still looking at the guy from the corner of my eye. I had to make a move right now. This guy seemed like the perfect match for me even if I had never even greeted him before, albeit knew his name. There was just this sensation inside of me that signaled a rightness about him. I had to trust this feeling and go with the flow.

    “Hey, what's your name? I haven't seen you around here before.” Wow, so generic of me. Could I have at least started with a stupid pick-up line? Nothing like a good “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” quote.

    He jumped a little at my voice and looked at me, “Oh... Um... I'm new here, it's my... First time, I guess...” His voice rose and fell as he talked, and he avoided eye contact. I could see his eyes just stare at my left ear instead of my face. I wasn't that ugly, was I?

    “My name is Sammy by the way...” He finished after a rather long pause.

    Sammy. That is the most adorable name in the whole world, period.

    “That's a cute name... My name's Taylor.” I didn't really care if I said my real name, I was willing to risk it for this guy. If he ended up asking too many questions, then I'm going to shoot myself.

    “Taylor? Isn't that the guy who-”

    “Saved the world. I know, I know. You don't have to say it.” Oops, I sounded a little too aggravated. I took a sip of my beer and looked down for a minute or so.

    “Oh, sorry for bringing it up...” Sammy mumbled, and drank a bit of his beer that he had received also.

    “It's no problem.” I say and remain quiet while drinking what was left of the bottle.

    “So... Do you want to go take a drive in my car or something, or...?” I know I was going too fast, but I wanted to get out of here. Sammy was attracting a little bit of attention from the other guys at the bar.

    “Oh...” Sammy blushed so hard, I thought he was going to turn into a tomato because he was so red, “I um... I don't know... I may not have the time...”

    No, no. Get in the car with me and I'll drive you to my house and we'll have fun there. I wanted to say this so bad, but I didn't want to creep him out. Besides, this wasn't a hook up. I was willing to have a good, quality relationship with this man because he clicked with me.

    “It's alright, I won't hurt you.” I said, rather calmly and placed my hand on his shoulder. He flinched at my touch and I nearly drew away before he relaxed.

    Sammy's fingers curled and uncurled and he looked at the beer bottle in front of him. I moved my hands from his shoulder to his neck and I could feel shivers run down his spine. I didn't know if this was a good sign, or a bad sign.

    “O-okay...” Sammy stammered and I made a smirk. Finally.

    I paid for both his and my drink and walked out the door with him. As I passed a table near the entrance, a man whistled at Sammy and I placed a protective hand over his shoulder and glared at the guy. That shut him up and wiped the smug grin off his face. What a bunch of perverts.

    He said he had taken the bus here and didn't have a car, so it was fine if I drove him somewhere.

    When we got out of the parking lot I started up a question, “Where do you want to go? My house, your house-”

    “Your house... Let's go to your house.” He interrupted rather abruptly. I raised an eyebrow at him and started driving towards Monroe.

    “It may take a while to get there, I live in Monroe.” I said.

    “That's fine. I live in Monroe too.” He replied.

    “Really? That's cool. I should come see you sometime.

    “Yeah...”

    He looked out the window and it began to rain. I turned on the windshield wipers and they made a low squeaking noise as they crisscrossed the window.

    As we drove along, he told me a little more about himself. Of course I explained most of what I could without making a scene to him, but his story is just as interesting as mine. Sammy is twenty-one years old, and he dropped out of high school when he was sixteen because he wanted to pursue his dream of becoming a professional musician in a band. He didn't make it however and encountered financial problems so he's living with his parents who are homophobic and don't know he's gay and trying to earn money to live on his own by working as a waiter in a restaurant. He said it's tough and I thought about giving some of the money the government gave me to him, but when I told him this, he said it wasn't necessary and he'd get the money eventually.

    We arrived at my apartment. I got out of the car, grabbing an umbrella from the trunk and letting Sammy stand under it as we walked to my apartment door.

    I put my arm around his shoulder and he leaned closer to me. The rain was cold and a slight breeze was blowing from the North.

    When we got inside, I put the umbrella next to the entranceway and Sammy plopped himself on the couch, shivering from the cold spell outside. I sat next to him and curled up beside him, letting my warmth stop his chattering teeth. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace and I kissed his forehead. We were treating each other like lovers, even if we had just met one another.

    I decided to go a little farther and kissed his lips. They were soft and moist, and he kissed me back lightly. I wanted more than that though, and I told him when I gave him another kiss, this time more hard.

    Unfortunately, he had backed off a little, but then calmed down and kissed me back. I added tongue and he got into it more after that.

    He slid his hands to the middle of my back and I slid mine to his waist, tugging at the bottom of his shirt before deciding to wrap my hands around his waist.

    Suddenly I stopped kissing him and looked at him in the eye. They were confused at first but mine beckoned to elsewhere in the house. The couch? Oh no, couches are lame, we have to move.

    I grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom. I kept the lights off when we entered and closed the door. I could still see a silhouette of him in the moonlight that streamed through my window. He looked at me and I looked at him, and then I threw my arms around him and began to kiss him. These were hard kisses; make-out kisses. I pulled his shirt up and off of him and he did the same to me, except a little bit more hesitantly. I assumed he was still a little bit afraid, but I didn't know why.

    We moved inch by inch towards the edge of the bed until finally Sammy tripped over it and I came tumbling onto him, still making out with him. From his lips, I went to his neck and started to bite at it, making marks on his baby soft skin. He made these little, sexy noises as I did so. I didn't really know what they were, they came from the back of his throat and were soft and mid-pitched; I guessed they were just small moans.

    I decided to go lower and let my tongue glide across his bare chest. That's when Sammy had had enough. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away and I gave him a puzzled look as I sat there, straddling him and panting and wanting to continue on so I could get what I needed.

    “What's wrong-” I started and then he interrupted me. He liked to do that.

    “I can't do this.” He said flatly and I tilted my head.

    “Why not?”

    “It's my first time... I've never done this before and you're practically a stranger. I just... Don't know about this...”

    Dammit, really? I thought I was going to have a shot at something here, but then he had to chicken out on me. Still, I had to be patient, and just had to coax him a little bit. I didn't want to hurt him, and if he didn't want to do it then fine, I'd send him home, and then sing along to The One That Got Away by Katy Perry on the way home. God, I'm so gay.

    “Look, I understand that it's your first time, but I promise I'll be gentle on you. I won't ever hurt you.” I said, with sincerity.

    He hesitated again before nodding and allowing me to do what I wanted to do. I was still not sure that this was what he really wanted, though.

    “Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? It's no problem if you don't want to, I'll take you home.”

    “No, no it's fine. Just do it.” Well, that was easy.

    So, I leaned in again and continued on with what I was doing. Sammy had grabbed my hair and was making those soft moans again. I closed my eyes and let instinct take over and make me do what I wanted to do. In the end, I enjoyed it a lot.

    But there was a problem.

    I wanted more than just this hook up, I wanted to know that I'd see him again after tonight. I wanted to be in a committed relationship with this man. I wanted all of him; to feel him, touch him, kiss him, hold him, and make him my own. There was just something about him that attracted me to him. There was destiny for him and I, I knew it.

    Sammy had himself tangled up with me after it was over with his arms latched over my back. I held him even closer and tighter, breathing in his scent that was different from Chris's, but it made me feel better nonetheless.

    “I need to go home, but I don't want to.” Sammy mumbled as he snuggled up underneath the crook of my neck. I sighed and stroked his cheek, kissing his forehead.

    “Stay with me; run away from your family. They'll treat you like shit if they find out, so you're better off here.” I told him. I know it was a pretty risky thing for him to do, but if he lived with me he'd be safe and would still be able to work and I'd support him and we'd be in an actual relationship and I wouldn't have to run back and forth from my house to his to ask him on a date, and still be cautious of his parents finding out.

    “I can't, they'll come looking for me.” He buried his face into my bare chest, “Besides, they'll figure out about you if I do run away.”

    He sighed, “I just wish I could stay like this in your arms forever. I feel so safe and calm here, and usually I'm nervous and jumpy but you're like some kind of drug that calms me down and warms me up and makes me feel... Good.”

    “I know...” I said, and I really meant that I know how he felt. He knew there was something about me and I knew there was something about him. I never realized it, but could he have been the one instead of Chris? I felt kind of like this with Chris, but this was stronger. There was like an aura surrounding him that matched mine. He was the missing puzzle piece.

    “Let's get you back home. I don't want your parents to wake up and find you gone, unless you told them that you were going out.” I kissed him on the cheek, and then on the lips.

    Sammy nodded and we both got dressed and headed back out. The downpour had turned into a light drizzle, but the breeze was still blowing and I let Sammy huddle near me until we got to the car.

    The drive to his house was silent. He gave directions and didn't open his mouth to say anything else afterwards. I stole glances at him several times, and he was staring out the car window the whole time, his face somber.

    “You okay?” I asked.

    He nodded, “I just... Don't want to face my parents after knowing that you and I share something special now. I want to tell them, but then again I don't want to tell them. I have to hide this secret even more now, and it's agonizing.”

    I sighed, “Look, if you want to tell your parents, don't be afraid to. I'll protect you if they hurt you, because I'll be there when you want to tell them. If you get the courage to do so, call me and I'll come over and stand by your side and make sure that they do not harm you.”

    “Okay...” Sammy's voice was soft and hardly audible over the car engine.

    I arrived at his house and decided to walk him up to his front door. I checked my watch on my wrist and noticed it was midnight, and yet when I looked at his house, the lights were still on. I guessed his parents were still awake, either that or just woke up to see that Sammy was gone. I hoped it was the latter.

    Sammy stopped on his front porch, “Are you going to be back tomorrow?”

    I nodded, “Of course, we'll go out to see a movie or something. Do you have work tomorrow at any time?”

    “No, I'm free.”

    I smiled and hugged him. I was about to drag him back to the car so he'd go back to my apartment and live with me there, still I knew from him that there were flaws in that idea, and I just had to be patient.

    “I love you, goodnight.” I said to him and kissed him on the lips.

    Just at that moment, the door opened and I jumped out of Sammy's grasp as his mother came into view. She didn't see that, did she?

    “There you are, Samuel! Where have you been? I got up to go check on you and you weren't in bed. I tried calling your cellphone but you didn't answer.” Her voice was nasally and she had a short, squat face to match her buxom body. I wanted to wrinkle my nose a bit, but that would be pretty disrespectful, so I just held in any comments and actions that were on my mind.

    “Sorry, Mom, I needed a little bit of fresh air so I stepped out for a bit and got a drink from the local bar.” Sammy was about to step inside, when his mom stopped him.

    “Who's this?” She pointed towards me and I felt like snapping her finger in two. I didn't like it when people pointed at me, “He looks familiar.”

    “Oh, Mom, this is Taylor. He and I met at the bar and talked a little bit and decided to drive around town. Don't worry, he's not a creeper or anything.” His mom finally dropped her finger and looked at Sammy, to me again.

    “Taylor? As in, Taylor Duncan?” She stammered at her words and looked like she was about to throw her hands around me and squeal and do all this fan-girl stuff. She didn't, luckily.

    “Hold on.” She went back into her house and a couple seconds later came back with a piece of paper.

    “Can you sign this, please?” Her hands were shaking as she held it to my face.

    “Um, okay...” I took the piece of paper from her and she handed me a pen. I scribbled my messy signature on there and handed it back to her. She looked at it like it was a precious gift given to her by her lover.

    “Thank you so much, and thank you for saving all those people back there. I think it was really brave how you-”

    “Don't mention it.” I interrupted her, my smile on my face from being around Sammy gone. I did not want to have to go through this again.

    “Oh... But really I-”

    Ever.” My voice was firm and did not quaver. I narrowed my eyes at her, then looked at Sammy. My eyes brightened again and we exchanged numbers before I said good-bye.

    I went into my car and waved at Sammy as he got back into his house and closed the door behind him. I started up the car and drove back to my apartment, still thinking about him.

    I only wondered if he would still be there tomorrow and if we really had something going now.


    I picked him up at two yesterday, and we drove to the movie theater in town. It was to a restaurant after that, but I expected to be filled up with popcorn. I liked movie theater popcorn.

    As usual, I did not pay attention to the movie as much as I did to Sammy. He seemed to like the movie though, and barely looked at me when I kissed him on the cheek and held his hand. At least, I hoped he was focused on the movie and not avoiding me.

    When we got out, we decided to drive downtown and walk around a bit and possibly shop. I held Sammy's hand the whole time that we walked and we chatted about life. He had asked me what it felt like to be part demon, and I had said it felt the same as being human, I just had to control my feelings a lot more.

    When it was six o'clock, he and I headed off to the restaurant I had suggested earlier and ate. We continued to talk and share stories. My bond with Sammy drew closer, as he said he had lost someone special to him; his brother. He was eleven at the time and his brother had died in a tragic car accident. He and his family were driving to their aunt and uncle's when it happened. Sammy had tried to protect his brother who's name was Lucas, but it didn't help and in the end, Sammy and his parents were the only survivors. He also talked about how after the accident, he felt empty and in need of something to fill the gap. He hung out with his family more often, and tried to make friends, but his mind said no because it didn't want to be attached to something and out of fear that they'd leave too. He was bullied for being shy and seen as “weak” to other people at school. He would come home with bruises that he'd hide on his chest, back, arms, and legs. It was one of the roughest times for him.

    “I felt like dying back then. I just couldn't take the hurt, and the lack of somebody there to talk to me. When I discovered I was gay at fourteen, I wanted to talk to my brother about it and discuss it with him, but he wasn't with me anymore so I had no one to confess to. I was in my first gay relationship at sixteen, and I was so scared of my parents finding out that the relationship ended up going nowhere because of how jumpy and secretive I was. I'm afraid that it will happen to you too, and I don't want it to happen, because I really like you.” Sammy sighed as he finished his story and stared at the empty glass of soda in front of him.

    I realized then that he shared a lot in common with me. The car crash, losing somebody he cherished and trying to protect them but losing them in the process; the bullying.

    “I understand about your parents, and I will be patient enough for you. I can help you talk to them about it, and I will take you in if they get rid of you. You aren't alone in this one; I'm here and I always will be.” I told him.

    We were sitting in a booth together, so I held his hand tightly and leaned over, kissing him on the lips, “And, I know that your brother isn't really gone. He's still here, along with Chris, the one I used to be with. Nobody really leaves, they always stay in your heart forever, until you meet up with them again one day.”

    “Oh...” Sammy breathed. It was obvious that he was paying more attention to me now because he kissed me back.

    After that, we paid for our meal and left. When I got in my car, Sammy told me to go to his house. His parents were out at work, so we could hang out there until they came back.

    I parked on the curb of his street right next to his driveway. We got out and headed into the house. It was dark, and Sammy decided to leave the lights off and we both went into his room upstairs.

    At first, we just laid down on the bed and watched TV on the small flat-screen hung up on the wall across from his bed. He kept the light off, and the only glimmer of it was from the TV screen and the moonlight outside.

    It was nearing nine o'clock when Sammy finally decided to shut off the TV. He said his parents wouldn't be back until ten, or eleven, so I decided to take advantage of the time with Sammy.
    We kissed and made-out and made love to each other.

    I laid with Sammy in the bed, stroking his hair and mumbling my love you's. I know he wanted to stay this way as much as I wanted to. I breathed him in and held him in my arms, showing that he was mine and I would protect him forever. He nestled his head in the crook of my neck and had himself caught in my grasp. I couldn't let him go; I wouldn't.

    “I need you so much closer...” I mumbled without thinking. It tumbled out of my mouth uselessly like a drunkard stumbling down the street. Sammy was probably surprised at what I said at first, but then after a few minutes, I could feel the tears on my skin. I knew he was crying.

    “What's wrong? Why are you cry-” The interrupting was really getting old.

    “I'm not!” He complained like a little child, which, after a lot of deep thought, I realized that that was just what he was. He was younger than me, and still a child. He had grown up physically, but his mind had that of an innocent kid's.

    He was a child that I had to protect and care for. He had lost his brother, and was on the verge of losing his parents if they told him his secrets. I had to be there, and I would be there for him.

    “It's okay... It's alright...” I coaxed him, stroking his hair as he sobbed softly, his voice muffled as his face was squashed up against my neck.

    “It's just... I... I can't afford to lose you... Not like everyone else... Not like my brother, not like that boy...” Sammy sniffled.

    “Shhh...” I tried to calm him down and continued to sift my fingers through his hair, kissing his forehead and humming a music box theme I used to hear across the room from mine in the orphanage when I was younger. There used to be a little girl that slept in that room before she was adopted. Every night Deborah would go in there, wind the music box for her, and she'd sleep soundly. I have to admit, even I slept like a baby with that thing going on, and I still remember it to this day. I just hoped now I wouldn't make myself fall asleep.

    However, it did make Sammy fall asleep. The sobs turned into snores within a matter of minutes. I decided it was probably time for me to go, as his parents would be here soon. I put on my clothes, kissed him good-bye, and made sure I didn't wake him up when I got out of the room and closed the door.

    I went downstairs and as I opened the front door, I bumped right into Sammy's mom. She was startled at first and nearly dropped the black leather purse in her hands, as well as the coffee she had in a to-go cup in the other hand. That would have been bad if any of that spilled on my clothes.

    “Taylor!” She exclaimed.

    “Sorry.” I apologized and attempted to get around her and go to my car, but she stopped me.

    “What were you doing in my house?”

    I don't know if my face turned red, but I hope it didn't, “Oh, um... Sammy and I were just hanging out in his room, watching TV and stuff. He fell asleep so I decided to go ahead and leave. Everything is fine, I didn't steal anything, don't worry.”

    Sammy's mom narrowed her eyes, and nodded, letting me get back to my car. I wondered where Sammy's dad was, he must have been working late tonight.

    I just hope his mom doesn't come in his room and find him lying naked on the bed. How would I ever be able to explain that?


    A week had passed and Sammy was working the evening shift at the restaurant he worked at, so I decided for dinner I’d go to the restaurant, meet him there, and after his shift was over he’d either come over to my house, or I’d come over to his.

    The restaurant was nice, I had to admit. It was an Italian restaurant and everything on the menu was homemade. I made sure it was Sammy that waited me, and he and I talked a little bit every time he came over, or had free time from waiting other tables. He was a little bit jumpy whenever I told him that I loved him, I guessed he was just scared of anybody noticing him.

    I was finishing off my desert and waiting for the bill when I noticed Sammy a couple booths over talking to another waiter. I thought it was probably a friendly chat or the other waiter was telling him about a table Sammy had to wait, but as I continued to watch them, I realized the waiter wasn’t waiting any table, nor was Sammy, and he had a sneer on his face.

    Sammy started to back off suddenly, and, the waiter suddenly stepped forward very fast and Sammy ran back a little bit, only to realize that he was faking it.

    The booths and tables close to the two waiters seemed to be disrupted from eating their food and looked at the two. One man said (well I think he did, I only watched him mouth the words because I couldn’t hear over the clanking of silverware and other voices) that the two should stop arguing about Sammy’s (he pointed at Sammy as he said this)… What? I didn’t catch the last part and I raised an eyebrow.

    Sammy came back and gave me the bill, “My shift’s over after this.”

    “Okay. Hey what happened over there-“

    “I’ll tell you later.” Sammy briskly walked off, probably wanting to avoid the subject. I wondered what that other waiter had said and if I should have walked over and protected Sammy. He seemed pretty upset about the whole deal.

    I paid the bill and went outside to wait for him by the car. After a few minutes he didn’t come out, so I decided to go back in and ask for him.

    When I did, one of his coworkers said they had seen him walk out with three other guys’ whose shift had also ended. I asked if they went anywhere, and he said he didn’t see. That’s when I started to panic.

    There was an alleyway on one side of the restaurant, so I decided to search around there. I called his name a couple of times and there was no response. I didn’t know where he would decide to run off to, maybe to the bus station to get home.

    “Sammy!” My voice was getting hoarse from yelling his name, and I felt more like I was calling a pet dog than a person.

    I went into the alleyway. It was dark and I could hardly see a thing, only the objects trapped in the glow of the outside light from the back door of the restaurant.

    Before I could call out Sammy’s name, I heard voices. There were several of them, probably about three or four. They were sneers from the tone that I heard them from, and I began to get a little suspicious.

    I quietly walked closer, the voices not noticing my presence. I could now make out silhouettes against the starlight and the moonshine in the sky. There were three men who seemed to be pestering another man; I knew the man that was being bullied.

    “Sammy?” The harassers were startled at first, and they swung their heads around to look at me. I could see the one being taunted look up, and he pushed through the group to get to me.

    Sammy flung his arms around me as he barreled into my chest, nearly knocking me over into the cracked concrete.

    “They caught me, Taylor… I should have been more careful… I… I thought you had already gone home.”

    “Now why would I do that?” I held him a little bit closer, but was still wondering what he was talking about when he said “they caught me”. I guess I would find out soon as the group of coworkers sauntered forward, laughing and making jeers toward Sammy.

    “Awww… Did wittle Sammy run to his boyfriend? Oh, how precious…” The guy at the lead joked in a mocking voice, a devilish grin pasted on his face.

    “Shut up…” Sammy hissed as he got his face out of my t-shirt. I held a protective arm around his shoulder, glaring at the bullies. They wouldn’t dare make a move to hurt Sammy, especially not in front of me.

    “Who the hell are you, and why are you tormenting Sammy?” I demanded, not taking my eyes away from any of them, and ready to shield Sammy and defend him from anything coming his way.

    The lead boy stopped in front of me. He seemed about Sammy’s age, maybe a little younger. His tongue flicked out and fiddled with the ring piercing on the edge of his lip before he spoke, “My name is Jake, and these are my two buddies, Tom and Blake. I think you know why we’re… “Tormenting” him as you’d like to put it, because you are one of them as well.”

    At first, I was puzzled, “One of wh-“ Wait…

    “You’re making fun of him because he’s gay?”

    Jake spit on the ground at Sammy’s feet, “Of course. You both are just a bunch of worthless faggots. I hope you’ll enjoy it when you burn in Hell.” His voice was laced with venom, hateful and poisonous.

    “That’s a lie!” I hated anybody who said homosexuals would burn in Hell; I mean look at Chris, God made him an angel! I know the truth when I see it, and I know me, or Sammy, would not be condemned for the people we chose to love.

    “Oh, really?” Jake and his buddies snickered together, their stances reminiscent of cobras poised to strike. I steadied myself and Sammy and I both began to back away slowly.

    “Why don’t we see about that, hm?” Jake cracked his knuckles, smiling wider in a most savage way, “I’ll gladly send you to where you queers belong.”

    I narrowed my eyes, “Try me.”

    Jake launched a lightning fast punch at Sammy’s face. Right before impact, I shoved Sammy behind me and took the full blow of the punch. The soft, elastic cartilage on my nose broke and blood began to stream down from my nostrils. I tasted the salty scarlet liquid on my lips and gritted my teeth. Now it was my turn to attack.

    Once Jake tried to draw back, I threw my fist out in front of me, connecting my knuckles to his mouth. I was much stronger than him, much stronger. My wings flared out when the punch was sent towards him.

    And this strength showed when Jake stumbled back a couple of feet and was sent tumbling to the ground. His face was a bloody mess and he screamed in agony, covering his mouth and spitting blood. I had knocked his lip piercing clean off, and I could see it glinting on the ground, half of it stained with Jake’s blood.

    “Jake!” His buddies ran up to him, crouching by him and making sure he was fine. He shoved them away and stood up on wobbly legs, looking at me with a bewildered expression.

    “Just what are you?” Jake stammered his eyes wide and bulging.

    I stood there, panting, my wings unfolded and glaring at him with my teeth clenched together, making a growling sound from the back of my throat as if to ward off the enemies in front of me. They were sent by Satan. I just knew that he was still out to get me.

    Did he send you!?” I demanded, half hissing in my demon tongue.

    “What the fuck are you-“ Jake noticed the scar on my wrist. Noticing where his eyes were leading, I quickly covered it up by hiding it behind my back.

    “S-shit! Run!” Jake grabbed his friends and ran out the alleyway, them both scrambling to get back inside and protect themselves from anything else I would try to do.

    “T-Taylor?” Sammy's voice quavered behind me and I looked at him, my wings folding back and disappearing. I wondered if I had scared him at all.

    “Hey, are you okay?” I asked him. He stared into my eyes for a minute before hugging me tightly, crying into shirt and drenching it with warm, salty liquid.

    I held onto him, closing my eyes and breathing in his scent as he wept and mumbled how scared he was and how he doesn't want to face this again. He said he was glad for my help and that he loved me. I told him I loved him back and that I would always be there to protect him from anything.

    The worst of the sobs were over, but his cheeks still glistened with tears as he drew away from me, “Let's go to my house.” I suggested.

    We drove there, the whole ride solemn as Sammy and I refused to talk. It was like we were mourning something. There was no doubt that if I wasn't there at Sammy's workplace, then he'd be an easy target. The kids would start their taunts again. If there was a way for Sammy to quit and find another place, then I would suggest it, but I didn't know if that would be a good idea. His parents would ask why, and he didn't want them to know about the bullying, because he would lie and say it was about something else, and then when his parents would ask, they would say the truth. It was too risky.

    For now, Sammy just had to avoid them to the best of his ability and ignore them. I broke the silence by telling him this.

    “I wish there was something else I could do. It's generic of me to ignore them; they'll find some other way to break me.” Sammy sighed.

    “It's the only thing we can do, Sammy. I can't be there hiding behind a plant and watching their every move. You have to know that. I wish I could, I really do, but I can't.” I argued. I hoped I wasn't being too harsh with him; he was heartbroken already.

    “I know...” Sammy's eyes dimmed a little bit and he stared out the window at the growing dusk. When we got to the apartment, he seemed to be in a tiny bit of a better mood. I guessed he just felt better at my place, as this was where he could do anything he wanted.

    He and I laid down on my bed, cuddled close together and comforting one another. I told Sammy how beautiful he was, I couldn't help myself from saying so. He needed compliments right now to get rid of the hate expressed to him. His innocence was valuable, and after being in that, it could easily have been taken away from him. I did not want to reveal the horrors of the world to a fragile being like Sammy. I had to be his guardian angel, despite the fact that I wasn't one at all.

    Sammy looked at me in disbelief. I know he needed proof, so I gave him some. I made love to him, because he deserved it. He deserved all of me and I deserved all of him. Without him, there would be no comfort for me, and no shield for him. With me, he showed his true colors, and I loved each and every myriad of him.

    He was curled up with me, safe and sound. No one would hurt him, no one would touch him because I was here. I would always be here.

    “Please stay with me.” Sammy murmured, his voice soft and quiet as he slipped off into sleep, the warmth from my body acting as his own blanket.

    “I will. Forever.” I promised him. I meant every bit of it.

    Sammy smiled, a cute, naive smile that reflected his innocence. I planted a kiss on his forehead, and his eyelids drooped and he fell asleep in my arms.

    I pulled the covers up and over ourselves and gave him another kiss goodnight. I mumbled an I love you, and wondered if he could hear it in his dreams.


    There was a rustle of bed sheets beside me. I opened my eyes a peek and saw Sammy crawling out of the bed, gathering up his clothes on the floor and putting them on. Morning sunlight glistened through the drawn, lace curtains and lit up Sammy's body.

    “Where are you going?” I mumbled in a sleep-dazed voice, looking upon the daylight that caressed Sammy; I was jealous of it.

    He looked at me as he slipped on his sneakers; I checked the digital clock on the wardrobe beside the bed and noticed it was eight o'clock in the morning, “It's a little early isn't it?”

    “Sorry, I have to go home. My parents are probably awake by now and they'll be wondering where I am.” He tied both his shoes.

    I made a sigh of longing. I wanted him to stay for a little bit longer.

    Sammy noticed my reluctance to let him go ahead and leave, “Taylor, you know I can't stay. I have work today at eleven. I have to go home and put on new clothes and take a shower and everything else.”

    I made a whining sound like a small child begging for a new toy, “Please stay for a little longer... Why don't you just call your parents and say you had a sleepover at my apartment?”

    Sammy thought for a moment, made a little sigh, and dug around for his cellphone in his jeans pocket. He pulled it out and dialed his house number, pacing around as he waited for his parents to pick up.

    “Hey, Mom?” Sammy answered as the line picked up. There was a pause as Sammy listened to what his mom was saying.

    “I know; I'm at Taylor's. I slept over last night. I'm going to work soon, okay?” Another pause.

    “Look, Taylor's a friend. We sleep over sometimes; it's not weird. And um... One more thing, can I sleep over tonight as well? I'm off of work tomorrow.” Sammy looked at me as if asking if it was okay for him to stay for another night. I nodded.

    “Yes, he says it's okay. It doesn't bother him at all.”

    “Alright, I will. Before I go, how is Dad doing?” I raised an eyebrow at this. What happened to his dad, and where was he? I always thought he had to work later than his mom or something, and the fact that Sammy said things like both of his parents were there, I always thought his dad was there at seldom times, but still there nonetheless.

    “I see... Well, give him my wishes and love. I'll see you tomorrow sometime. Bye.” Sammy clicked the “END” button on his cellphone and slipped it back into his pocket. He sighed and drew his fingers through his hair, looking at the carpet floor beneath his feet.

    “Sammy?” I seemed to knock him out of his trance and he turned around.

    “What were you talking about that dealt with your dad?”

    Sammy smiled and came over, sitting beside me on the bed, “Oh, nothing, my dad's just working overtime at his workplace and he's stressed. It's nothing, really.” There was no truth in the tone Sammy spoke in. I narrowed my eyes.

    “You're lying.” I said.

    Sammy looked surprised, and I knew it was a fake alarm, “What are you talking about?”

    “Don't screw with me, Sammy, I know you're hiding something!” My voice raised, and I realized how aggressive I was being. Sammy blinked and looked at his shoes, disheartened.

    “Sorry...” I apologized.

    “It's okay... I shouldn't be lying to you anyway...” Sammy closed his eyes and curled his fingers that were placed on his lap.

    “What happened?”

    “When Satan-”

    “Don't say that name.” I interrupted, flinching a little at the words.

    “When... He attacked the city... My father was caught in his flames. He received terrible burn wounds and went into a coma. He's still at the hospital, still in his coma, and the doctor's aren't sure when he's going to come out...”

    Guilt crept up on me. I had caused the Gates of Hell to open, and made the Devil destroy the city. If I had only been there a little bit earlier... I would have been able to stop it without anyone getting hurt. I had been a coward though, and I always will be. It was my fault.

    But most importantly, it was his fault.

    I clinched my teeth together and my fingers curled into fists, “I'm going to destroy that sick son of a bitch...” I hissed.

    Sammy put a hand on my shoulder, “Don't; he's immortal anyway. You sent him back to Hell, that's all there is to it. I know my dad's going to be okay, I just know it...” His voice trailed off and I looked at him in sympathy. I knew what it was like to have somebody close to you near death. I knew what it was like to lose a parent, I had lost both of mine.

    I hugged him, and held him close to me, letting him know that I was there if he needed anything; if he wanted to talk to me about anything. I was there, always.

    “I won't lose anyone else... I can't afford to...” Sammy mumbled. I stroked his head and kissed him, “I won't let that happen. Ever.”

    Sammy looked doubtful, “But you can't wake up my dad... He could die like that, for all we know...”

    “But I sure as hell won't let myself stray from you; I'm here to stay.” I hugged him tighter, my face snuggled up in his hair and breathing him in. Sammy had his face digging into my chest, “I know.” His voice was muffled, but strong, and I let it ring in my ears for a little bit.

    We stayed like this for at least thirty minutes, before Sammy said that he should get going. I let him take a shower here and he just put on his old clothes and he'd change when he got to his house.

    I drove him there which made for a speedy transportation. We had some free time after he changed until he had to go to work. We hung out in his room for a bit and talked and cuddled on the bed.
    Sammy locked the door, which was a “huge no-no” in his house, and I thought it was a bit funny and ridiculous. Everyone needed their privacy once in a while.

    We took my car to the restaurant when it was time to go. I kissed Sammy good-bye and told him to call me when he needed to be picked up. We'd probably go on a date somewhere then head back to my apartment.

    “I think Jake and his friends are off today. I'll try to ignore them if they are there though.” Sammy told me when he got out of the car. I nodded in understanding and waved good-bye as he headed through the restaurant doors.

    I spent the work hours that Sammy had to fill by shopping for groceries and housekeeping at the apartment. I yet again replaced the flowers beside Chris's ashes and cleaned the apartment up a bit as well as washed another bundle of clothes. After everything was done, I checked the time and checked my phone. No calls or texts from Sammy yet. I sighed and sat on the couch, too bored to even watch TV; it's not like anything interesting was on anyway.

    I laid there, listening to the whir of the ceiling fan from my bedroom; the hum of the washing machine as it soaked the clothes inside with washing detergent. The wet fabrics tumbled with the spin of the washing machine and it seemed to all chorus together, making me sleepy. I told myself I had to stay awake just in case Sammy called.

    There was a ring from my phone of a familiar ringtone; it wasn't Sammy calling, though. My brow furrowed and I got up off of the couch and grabbed my phone on the kitchen counter. I looked at the number and my eyes grew wide at the name on the LED screen.

    It was Chris's phone; calling me. It didn't make sense, his phone had been crushed in the car accident and as far as I'm concerned I didn't get a new one for him before he died. My hands shook as I picked up the phone.

    “H-hello?” I stammered.

    Silence. Utter silence. All I heard was static. I called another hello, and still nothing, so I hung up. I stood there in astonishment; that was freaky.

    Suddenly, the lights started flickering. I wondered if it was a power shortage, or an electrical storm, but the sky was clear and I don't think anyone else was having light problems. The flickering stopped and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. First Chris's crushed phone calls by itself, and then strange happenings begin.

    I think I need to get the hell out of here.

    Right before I began to grab the car keys, my phone rang again; this time it was Sammy's ringtone. I checked the caller I.D just to make sure, and yes, it was him.

    I picked up the phone, “Thank God it's you...” I breathed.

    “Hey, what's wrong?” I could hear the voices of people in the background on his cellphone, and I guessed he was still in the restaurant but his shift had ended.

    “Nothing, it's just I got a really creepy call. I think it was a prank call.”

    “Oh. Well, my shift is over. You can come and pick me up now.”

    “Alright, I'll be there soon. I love you.”

    “I love you too, see you.”

    I clicked the END button. Now I could get the hell out of here.

    I grabbed my keys and tucked my phone in my jeans pocket before walking out and locking up the apartment. I got into my car and drove off, all the while, the mysterious call and flickering lights still stuck in my head.


    That evening, we headed on over to my apartment after a night of walking around town and hanging out in a bar. It was ten o'clock when we did get back; we had just come back from Sammy's house to get him some clothes for tomorrow.

    We went to sleep right when we walked into the bedroom and crawled into bed. The warmth from him was enough to act like my own blanket and it created an incubator for me to fall asleep to.

    I didn't dream of much; I didn't dream of anything, for that matter. I woke up to see that Sammy wasn't in the bed. I checked the clock and it said it was midnight, so I guessed Sammy had gotten up to go get a snack or drink or went to the bathroom. I decided to go investigate just to make sure he was okay.

    I opened the door to my bedroom and the lights began to flicker. Remembering the incident that happened earlier today, I kept my calm and tip-toed to the kitchen.

    I fell back as I saw who was standing right in between the kitchen and the living room. It was Chris, as an angel, whole and fresh and staring unblinkingly at me. I expected a friendly nod or smile or maybe for him to come up and hug me, but nothing happened. I stared at him and he stared back.

    I took a step forward, “Chris?”

    He blinked, then smiled, but it wasn't a warm smile and I began to feel afraid, “Hello, Taylor.”

    I said nothing but walked a little closer. I know I should be running up to him and hugging him and welcoming him back, but something didn't feel right about the way he was acting.

    “I have to talk to you Taylor.” I stopped, “You see, it's about a man you know very well.”

    “What? You mean Sammy? What about him, is he okay?”

    Chris seemed to skip over the question entirely, “I don't like it, Taylor. Not at all.” He then started to come at me, slowly and steadily, his eyes never leaving contact from mine. This really didn't seem right now.

    “I really don't know what you're talking about.” I said, and made an awkward laugh, like this was some sort of joke. I had never seen Chris this serious before, and I just hoped he was kidding.

    Slowly, Chris began to shake his head and narrow his burning, bright blue eyes. Wait, was that a wisp of red that I just saw? Never mind, it was probably my imagination.

    “Where's Sammy?” I asked, wondering if he knew where my boyfriend went. He made that really disturbing smile again.

    “I took care of him... The real problem is you.”

    “Me?” I didn't know what he meant when he said he took care of Sammy, and I really did not want to know.

    Suddenly, his hands curled around my neck and he pushed me back against the wall. I struggled against his grip, making gagging noises as his cold, cruel fingers pinched into my windpipe tighter and tighter.

    “Chris... Please... You're going... To go to Hell... For this...” I choked out, grabbing onto him and trying to pry him away, but he never budged.

    “I don't care... I'm going to drag you to Hell with me... You said forever, you promised me you wouldn't love anyone else but me... How could you?”

    “You told me... That you wanted... Me gone...” I argued back. I was beginning to see blackness crawl into the corners of my vision. I was going to die. I was going to die on Chris's hands.

    I looked past Chris and saw a body that was all to familiar to me. Sammy's amber eyes stared blankly back at me as he lay there, broken and bleeding on the ground. Why didn't I notice him before? Anger and despair welled up in me as I looked upon his dead body. Tears welled up in my eyes, and some spilled from my eyelids.

    “People lie, Taylor.” I stared in horror as his once oceanic blue eyes morphed into a glowing red iris. His pupils and whites disappeared and all I saw in his eyes were bright red voids.

    Then his body changed too, and in the blink of an eye he morphed into the thing that I was most fearful of, and the one I most hated.

    He laughed evilly, the noise booming inside my ears and echoing a million times. His claws tore through my neck flesh and spilled fresh blood everywhere. I screamed in pain, and the scars burned at their edges as flames licked up and around me, pulling me under into the flames with him. I was trapped, I could not escape.

    Then everything went dark.


    I woke up in a cold sweat, my hands shaking and grabbing the moist sheets of my bed beside me. I made a short little screech and attempted to scramble out; I would go anywhere but here. I was not safe anymore.

    “Taylor!” Someone called my name and grabbed me from behind. That voice I recognized and I realized who it was.

    Sammy held onto my shoulders, hugging me from behind and making a shushing noise, trying to calm me down.

    “He was going to kill me... He killed you... I...” I stammered, my voice broken up and shaking as much as I was.

    “It's okay... Everything is alright now... I'm here.” Sammy muttered in comfort. Eventually, my racing heart slowed down and I began to breathe more. I stopped shaking and began to curl back up and into bed.

    Sammy kissed me and held my face in his hands, holding me close and I held him tighter than I had ever done before. I could not shake the image of him dead on the ground, I never wanted to see that scene again.

    I mumbled his name and was comforted by his reply. I always wanted to hear him reply to his name; to tell me that he was still there.

    “Don't ever go... Ever...” I told him, my voice shaking with emotion. I began to cry into his shirt and his hand stroked my hair as he kissed me repeatedly. Eventually I calmed down enough to where he fell asleep and I was close to falling into unconsciousness as well.

    There was a glimmer of something in the corner of my eye as my eyelids drooped. I kept them open enough to see a shimmering shape of a familiar man and he was staring disdainfully among Sammy and I.


    The next evening, I had decided that I didn't want to sleep alone after the nightmare that had taken a hold of my mind the other night. I asked Sammy if I could sleep over to his house, as I was still fazed from the horrid scenes I had witnessed in that dream.

    He let me stay over. He said his mom was staying at the hospital with his dad for the night, and that she'd be back tomorrow.

    That night I had clung to Sammy, and I wouldn't let go. I had told him about the nightmare and what had happened, and he said that it was just a nightmare, and it wasn't likely that it would come true, but the man I saw at the foot of our bed after I awoke from my nightmare... I knew it was Chris, and I knew he did not like Sammy and I being together.

    But it was his fault; he had told me to push myself on someone else, so I did. If he's jealous, then fine, he has a right to be. I love him but... I love Sammy more, because he's real and living, and he's here. I just wish Chris would understand that.

    When I fell asleep in his bed, I wasn't interrupted with terrifying nightmares. I had a good sleep, and I didn't dream. The comfort of my precious, innocent Sammy was there and I cherished it and held on to it through the whole night.

    I awoke at the same time Sammy did. We made out and cuddled underneath the sheets. I watched the sunlight's rays tangle up around his body, and I wanted all of him so bad. I just wanted to stay this way forever.

    I got on top of him, my tongue pressed up against his cheek. He made his petite moans and grabbed at my hair and back. I needed all of this. I began to make love to him right there, expressing how in love I was with him, and how much I needed and enjoyed his presence.

    But all good things must come to an end.

    And so it did. The door opened rather suddenly, “Sammy-” It was his mom.

    I stopped kissing him and lifted my head. Sammy blushed so hard, he began to turn purple. He pushed me off of him and hid himself further into his blankets as he watched his mom's expression turn from shock to anger.

    “Downstairs... Now...” She left from the doorway without another word. I looked at Sammy and he looked like he was about to fall over in defeat.

    I hugged him, “It's going to be okay. I won't let her take you away from me.” I then planted a kiss on his lips and when we broke away, I could see the glisten of tears in his eyes.

    We put on our clothes and walked downstairs, dreading what would come and hoping for the best. I held Sammy's hand the whole way down. Was it just me, or were the steps longer and harder to walk down? I was dreading every step I took.

    Finally, we got down and went into the living room, where Sammy's mom was sitting on a plush chair, stooped over and holding her head in her hands. Sammy and I sat down on the couch, looking at her and waiting for something to start off. Should I say something? I didn't know.

    Before I could start something up, Sammy's mother had already started.

    “Sammy...” She trailed off, not lifting up her head to look at her son, “Sammy, I don't understand. You said you liked girls, you said it right to your father when we had that talk. I... I just don't know anymore...” Sammy's mom dug her head further into her hands, letting her long, dark brunette hair fall around her face and conceal everything behind the wall of strands.

    “I lied...” Sammy mumbled. His mom didn't seem to move, and I guessed she didn't hear him.

    A few moments of silence went by. Sammy stared at his mother, and then he suddenly reached out a hand to touch hers, “Mom-”

    As his hand made contact, she threw up her head, which was red and puffy and streaming with tears, and she then smacked him right on the cheek.

    He stumbled over onto the floor. I went to his side and helped him back up on the couch. He was staring right at his mom with wide, stunned eyes. I could see the red mark of a hand already forming on his soft, pale skin.

    I looked at her, and she seemed almost as demonic as my true form. Her hands shook as she huffed and puffed, her face twisted into a deep scowl.

    “Look at you, rubbing filth all over our family's name! How do you think your father will feel!?” She shrieked louder than a hawk, her already high-pitched voice shrill and making my ears ring. I made a wince.

    Sammy flinched as well, and then dipped his head, “I'm sorry... I'll apologize to Dad, I'll tell him the minute he wakes up...”

    “Your father is dead!” Sammy's head snapped back up again.

    “What...? N-no... He's okay, the doctors are...”

    His mother dropped her gaze, “He died last night... I was there... I came home to tell you the news but, my day just got worse by finding out that my own son is one of them.”

    That was it. I was tired of just looking upon this fight and not doing anything. Sammy was choking on his own tears as he realized that his own father was dead, and his mother was screaming at him for loving me. It was inhumane, and she was beating down his innocence that I held so tightly onto, and it was what made him, him.

    “Stop it.” My voice was firm, and I knew it had startled Sammy's mom for a minute. I stepped in front of the one I loved and looked at his mom straight in the eye.

    “You... I bet you were the one that caused this. I want my son back, I want everything back... This is all your goddamn fault, you son of a bitch!” She reached up her hand to slap me, but I grabbed her wrist before she could.

    Don't.” I hissed and forced her hand back down to her side.

    She looked like she was about to say something, but thought about it and stopped. She stepped back, but stared past me to her cowering son who was hiding behind me.

    Then, she started to scream again, “I want you out! I want you both out! Just go, and get away from this goddamn house and don't come back! GO!

    She made a break towards the stairs and stomped up them. There was a slam of a distant door and I guessed it was from her bedroom. I looked at Sammy, and I helped him off the couch. He was still quite dazed and unsure of what just happened.

    I let him sit on his bed as I packed up his clothes in a suitcase I had found in their hallway closet. I asked if there was anything special he needed to take with him, but he shook his head no and said, “The only thing special to me now is you.”

    Once everything was packed and ready to go, I helped him back downstairs and just as I opened the front door and stepped out of Sammy's house for the last time, I heard a call from his mother and turned around, wondering if she was going to apologize.

    “... I just wanted to let you know that you aren't welcome at your father's funeral... Or any celebration in our family... I do hope you are happy...” Nope. Definitely not.

    Sammy and I watched her as she headed back upstairs and I sighed, ushering Sammy outside. We walked in the morning light towards my car and got inside.

    As we got on the road and drove through town, Sammy asked, “Aren't you taking me to the bus stop so I can find some place to be dropped off at and live?”

    I glanced at him, “What are you talking about?”

    Sammy raised an eyebrow at me.

    “You're going to live with me, of course.”


    Having Sammy live with me in the apartment was easy. I had my dreams come true by myself not having to come to and fro to my place, to his and have some days of sleeping alone. There was never a night when I was alone in my bed when he moved in. He was always there, like a teddy bear that you were careful not to lose, but yet you still dragged it wherever you went.

    In the first few nights, Sammy cried himself to sleep. I tried to calm him down as much as I could, but he was mourning the loss of his dad, his home, and the whole of his family. He had been given up and thrown away, but I had found him in a trash can and brought him home. I told him that I would not let him get hurt any longer, and that he was safe in my arms. I told him this every night until he calmed down enough to where he cried no more and his sleep was peaceful and not filled with nightmares of reliving the experience over again.

    I was sympathetic; I knew what he had been through, and I knew what he was going through. I told him to take some days off from work to recover, and that is exactly what he did. He stayed by my side in these days, too afraid to astray from my side. He trusted my word on how I would always protect him.

    Life was getting better for him and I, but that soon changed.

    I got a call on the day that Sammy went back to work at the restaurant. It was the manager, and he had said that Sammy had gotten himself into a fight with one of the coworkers. He was alright, but had escaped with a couple of bruises and scratches. The manager said he would suspend the three waiters who had started it from work for a couple of days, and that he was sending Sammy home earlier today.

    So, the jerks were back, huh? I really wish I could teach them a lesson someday.

    I got there and picked Sammy up. It was true, he was scathed head to toe in bruises and cuts. We went back home and I gave him ice packs and band-aids and whatever else he needed to feel better. He explained that the fight had started about the same thing as before; all about his sexuality and how he loved me. I didn't understand why people could hate something like this; it just wasn't right in my eyes. As far as I'm concerned, everybody has a right to love anybody they want.


    The next day went without any commotions from work, because Jake and his friends had been suspended. I picked Sammy up from work and we went out to go on a date, which included the usual seeing a movie and walking around town and eating out.

    It was a really fun night; all our worries had been left behind us as we walked together and talked and shared our love. Have I ever mentioned how much I love his laugh? Well, I do. It's adorable.

    And then we drove back home, laughing about something silly from the movie. We laughed so hard that we forgot what were were laughing about, and we were giggling like school girls just for the hell of it. When you feel this good, you don't need an explanation for your laughter.

    When I parked in the parking lot, the wide smile I had pasted on my face turned into a frown. My eyes narrowed, and Sammy seemed to notice my expression, “What's wrong?”

    I nodded towards where I was looking. In the second story where my apartment room was, the door to it was left ajar. It looked like it had been kicked down, not unlocked.

    “Stay here, I need to investigate.” I didn't let Sammy have time to argue. I got out of the car and walked upstairs, cautiously heading to the door. I called a greeting before I could come in and investigate my apartment.

    No answer, so I assumed it was safe. I went into the apartment and was immediately greeted by the sound of breaking glass beneath my feet. I looked down and noticed it had come from a porcelain plate in one of the kitchen cabinets. There were several plates smashed on the floor, kitchen cabinet doors opened and ransacked. A robbery?

    There was movement behind me and I whirled around only to see Sammy there in the doorway, looking around at the damage done.

    “Do you know what happened?” He asked.

    “I'm guessing it was a robbery.”

    “No... This is no robbery...” Sammy pointed towards something behind me and I turned around.

    There was a message written in red spraypaint on the wall near the bathroom. “YOU'LL BE NEXT, FAGGOTS” was what the message said. I turned back towards Sammy, then to the message again and shook my head.

    “Well, nothing we can do but call the police and clean this up afterwards.” I hugged Sammy, who was shocked beyond belief about the ransacking. I didn't understand why they'd do it either.

    We checked the bedroom and saw it was just as trashed as the living room and kitchen. I picked up all the littered pictures of Chris and I that were on the floor and put them back in my drawer for safe-keeping. The ones with Sammy and I had been ripped apart. I told him we'd tape some back together, and just take some new ones.

    Sammy was pretty upset about everything. He kept shaking his head and telling me that it was his fault this happened. I told him not to worry about it, and that we'd get it fixed. I then told him to go ahead and call the police.

    After he called them to come and investigate, I hugged him and said that everything would be alright. I had made up my mind to move into a small house, and I think Sammy and I would both benefit from that. It was obvious we weren't safe in this apartment anymore, Jake's friends could come back and do even worse damage; or worse, attack us, which was prominent on the grisly message they had written on the wall.

    “Taylor... Um... I was looking a little bit closer at the kitchen and uh...” Sammy stammered as we broke apart from our hug.

    “What?” Sammy glanced at his feet for a bit, and then ushered me into the kitchen. On the tile floor, there were these dark gray spots. At first, I didn't understand what they were when Sammy pointed at them, but then I realized they were spots of ash.

    Oh.

    The urn that contained Chris's ashes was broken up on the ground, gray cinders scattered everywhere around it. I made a choking sound and collapsed on the floor, crawling towards it like a baby. Frantically, with shaky hands, I began to gather up as much ash as I could into a pile beside the urn. I could not lose any of it.

    “Let me help.” Sammy dropped down on his knees and began to help me scoop the cinders together. I stopped as my hands were shaking so hard; I felt like crying. This was the only connection I had with Chris, and I needed all of it. It was a reminder.

    Sammy had placed a hand on my shoulder and was rubbing it as I gagged on my own tears. I let him do the work while holding on to him for support. Anger bubbled up in my stomach as I thought of the bastards that did this; them laughing as they toppled over the urn from the windowsill and watching it fall to the ground, cracking and spilling the remnants of my ex-spouse on the cold tile.

    I wanted to scream. At the troublemakers, at the person I hated the most, and at myself for letting this happen. Why couldn't we have just stayed here? None of this would have happened.

    “Do you think we have a bowl or something to put this in until we get a new urn?” Sammy's voice had snapped me out of my thoughts. I made a whimper that sounded like an abused, starving dog. Now we had to put Chris in a bowl? We were sure showing him a lot of respect.

    At least the flowers were still intact and sitting on the windowsill.

    Sammy got up to get a fairly large sized bowl and began to shovel the ashes in there. I watched with watery eyes as he did so. My hands were still shaking, so I did not help out. He put the newly shoveled ash bowl back on the windowsill.

    “There; do you want to go out and look for another urn after the police come and investigate?” Sammy wiped his hands and looked at me with eyes much brighter than my own.

    I nodded solemnly, and kept a frown on my face as I marched off to my bedroom, picking up all I could and laying in my bed, not looking at anything but the insides of my closed eyelids.


    We found a house to move into. It was placed in a quiet neighborhood, beside one of the lakes in Monroe. After the break in incident, I had begun to search for small houses nearby that were for sale, and were cheap. It was a miracle that we had managed to find this place. I thought we would have to live in the apartment for a couple more months until we'd find one.

    It was a small, two-bedroom, one bath house. The kitchen was nice and spacey, and the living room had it's very own fireplace which I thought was pretty cool; I loved fireplaces.

    Sammy was all over this house. The person who was selling it became great friends with Sammy because of how interested he was in the house. Everyday when he came back from work he would ask if we could go visit the house. It was like the house was a pet ready to be adopted.

    Eventually, we bought it, and Sammy was all over me for it. He thanked me at least a billion times a day for choosing it. To be honest, there was another house I had found that I liked, but Sammy said that it didn't feel “right” in that house; so I decided to buy this one.

    I boxed up the last of my clothes. The U-Haul that we had rented was parked outside and I would be driving it. Since Sammy didn't know how to drive, I had to call Tracey up to help drive my car to the new house for me. When she asked me about the U-Haul I lied and said Sammy would drive me, even though I would. She wouldn't be too happy if she saw me driving it with my license taken away.

    I opened up the closet to gather up Sammy and I's winter coats and put them in another box when I stumbled upon Chris's stuff. I sighed, tracing a hand over the top of one. I felt a sudden urge to rip it open and peek inside, grabbing his clothes and hugging them and smelling them, but they probably smelled like moth balls since I had put some in there.

    Besides, there was another scent that I adored, one that would linger forever. Sammy was my life now; and I was no longer living in Chris's time. I had moved on. I still held love for Chris, but it was a past love that I had forgotten to miss.

    Still, I had to gather these things up too. I pushed the boxes together with my stuff, getting a Sharpie marker and labeling which was which. Then, I carried them all down to the U-Haul. Sammy was outside, helping Tracey lift the couch up the ramp and into the truck. I put my boxes down and helped them out by basically taking all the weight of the couch and lifting it.

    After we were sure we had put everything away, I did a double check in the apartment, found nothing was left, and went back. I had already settled things with my landlord about rent and had went ahead and paid this month's rent to him.

    As for the new urn containing Chris's ashes, I decided to let Sammy carry that in his lap on the drive there. I could not risk breaking it again, even if I put it in a box or something.

    Tracey followed us in my car towards the new house. Sammy was really excited and kept fidgeting in his seat, awaiting the time when the house key would be put in his hands. I told him to stop wiggling around, saying he'd spill the ashes; we both laughed for no apparent reason. I asked why were were laughing and Sammy said something about “wiggling” being a funny word; we were just being immature, I guess.


    It took us a while to get all our stuff moved in and unpacked. After two days, most of everything was unpacked and properly placed. Sammy and I got to meet our neighbors who were pretty intrigued by the fact that a gay couple was living across the street from them; nonetheless a gay couple that included me, Taylor Duncan, the guy who “saved the world”.

    We had a welcoming party in one of the neighbor's houses, their youngest child of their group of three kids asking why Sammy and I hugged and kissed one another. I couldn't blame them, they lived with a straight couple and didn't yet understand that some people liked the same gender as themselves.

    They were really nice people, I had to admit. Sammy and I enjoyed ourselves at the party.

    Sammy had decided to get another job after another attack from Jake the day they came back. He searched in newspaper articles for jobs that were hiring, and had told the manager he was quitting.

    Still, Jake and his friends had managed to find our address and sent us threatening mail, littered in our yard and were all out trying to start a fight. I don't know how many times I had called the police about it; I told them all about the situation, and they said they were trying all they could to catch the culprits, but they were as slippery as wet fish, never getting themselves into the grasp of authority.

    We held our heads high throughout the whole ordeal, however, and Sammy wasn't fazed by the attacks as much. We had each other, that was all that mattered. I told him all the time that as long as I was with him, then they wouldn't be able to do anything. It kept up our hopes through the rest of the year.

    After five months of love, it was December, and people were getting ready for Christmas. Sammy and I would get our Christmas tree the week after December arrived.

    I had been thinking about it for a long time now; I wanted to marry Sammy. I know, it seems so early, but, I do believe that we'd get anywhere with a ring to tie together our love. I decided I would propose to him on Christmas day as his gift.

    So, I bought a ring. It was a simple one, with tiny little sapphires all over the platinum circle. I think it represented Sammy and I's love of simplicity, but yet containing tiny sapphire surprises. It sounds a little cheesy, but I like the idea.

    When I got home that evening, I saw Sammy's face buried in a book he was reading on the living room couch. He looked up when I tapped the book with my finger and he gave me a welcoming hug and kiss.

    We watched TV until ten o'clock and then crawled into bed, curling around each other and breathing in the breaths we took.

    I had him wrapped in my arms, forever being mine. No one would take away the gift I had been given; the gift of love for this man. I kissed him several times, him mumbling his I love you's until he dozed off and away into a dream.

    And I too found my way to dreams eventually, his face on my mind as I sauntered off somewhere in the clouds and away from here.

    There was a commotion that awoke me from my sleep. I flickered open my eyes and wondered if Sammy was getting something, but his warm body was pressed up against mine, so I knew it wasn't him.

    Then, who was it?

    I sat up, which made Sammy's dream fade away and he blinked his sleepy eyelids, “What is it...?” He mumbled.

    “Stay here, something is out there.” I placed a hand on his chest as to keep him from escaping.

    “In our house?”

    I just nodded, narrowing my eyes, “Don't say anything when I'm investigating. Keep your head low, and don't move an inch, okay?” I left him there, hoping that no one would find him and crept into the kitchen where I thought the sound was located.

    Movement of a man dressed in black flashed near the sink. I hid behind the wall that was the only thing that could shield me from being seen.

    There were more than I expected, though, and before I knew it someone dragged me away from the wall and pushed me right in front of their leader, who I recognized as Jake himself.

    “What the hell are you bastards doing in our house!? Get out; I'll call the police and then rip you all to shreds!” I threatened, struggling against the grip that his buddy had on my shoulders.

    Jake fiddled with his new lip piercing for a bit before deciding to talk, “I've come to fulfill a duty that everyone would benefit from.”

    “What the fuck are you talking about?” I was about to explode into action. I could feel my muscles straining, my demon senses pricking up and ready to reveal themselves. I was furious.

    Jake snickered, his voice hissing like a snake, “You liked that message I wrote on your wall? It's going to happen; it's going to happen tonight. We will eliminate you and your fucking bitch of a boyfriend so you two can rot happily in Hell forever, where you belong.”

    As my struggles became more powerful, another one of Jake's buddies took hold of my shoulder and prevented me from running out to attack him, or to run away entirely. Fear flashed up in me; they got me cornered.

    Jake circled around me once, and then went down the hallway that I had come from. I struggled even harder, because I knew what he was doing, he was going to find Sammy. I prayed that he wouldn't be found, but my hopes plummeted like a bird shot down from the gun of a hunter as I heard a couple of screeches from Sammy and the sound of a tussle.

    And then he dragged Sammy back to the kitchen, right in front of me. He had him in a headlock, laughing as Sammy struggled in vain against his powerful arms. I made no movement, but I was clearly shocked. I screamed Sammy's name and it just made Jake laugh harder.

    Jake slipped his free hand into his pocket and drew out a knife that was curved wickedly at the end of the blade. He placed it right on Sammy's throat, barely cutting the soft skin beneath.

    “J-Jake!” One of his friends stammered, “You said you'd teach them a lesson... But we didn't think that you'd actually...” He trailed off.

    Jake growled at him, his eyes wild with bloodlust as he stared down on them angrily, “If you don't like it, then you can run on home!”

    The buddy looked at the other and together they let go of my shoulders and ran out the door, possibly afraid of getting caught for murder if there was any.

    But I wouldn't let Sammy's body be on the headlines.

    Jake waved away the idea that I wasn't guarded anymore and just looked at me, knife dangerously jeering at me that it would pierce Sammy's neck. Sammy had stopped struggling and was watching me with pained eyes.

    “Take one step, and your precious little Sammy dies!” Jake threatened, his dagger cutting the skin on Sammy's throat. I could see that Sammy was gritting his teeth, and trying not to cry out. That made me even more angry. Someone had managed to hurt Sammy, right in front of my eyes.

    So, I decided to take the offensive. I dared to take a step forward, and in that split second I saw a look of doubt flash in Jake's eyes, and in turn his grip made a slight slip and Sammy struggled as hard as ever, eventually getting out of his grasp.

    Something strange happened though; as soon as Sammy had gotten out of his prison, Jake had grabbed his shoulder and the force of the grab back was enough to make Sammy turn in a three-quarter position, and he then stumbled backwards into me.

    I caught him as he stumbled towards the ground and stood him back up again.

    “Are you okay?” I asked, kissing him on the cheek. Sammy didn't reply, and instead looked down. I looked down as well and tried to look away from what I saw, but was unable to.

    A large blossom of blood was blooming underneath Sammy's shirt that he had worn to bed. He made a choke and out came a glob of scarlet from his mouth, and then he slipped out of my hands and onto the ground where he didn't get up, or move anywhere for that matter.

    I just stared down at his bleeding body, the image far too familiar to my mind. I saw a dead Chris, A laughing Satan over his body, taunting me. This couldn't be happening to me again.

    I screamed so loud, in anger, defeat, and most of all, vengeance for the fallen beloved at my feet. Like a rocket I launched myself at Jake, his knife never able to spear me as well, for I had lost control of my demon powers and they were set loose and ran wild like a pack of wolves. My talons on my hand grabbed at his chest and ripped through his skin as easily as they had ripped through his clothes. I could feel the blood spray on my body as I dug deeper into his chest, my hand eating him out like a hungry dragon.

    His shrieks of pain were soon cut short and I withdrew my weapon, watching as he fell to the ground, his blood everywhere. I didn't care that I had murdered someone; he deserved every piece of shit flown at him. His dead body had made me calm down though, and I turned around, my worry flaring in my stomach for Sammy.

    I knelt down beside him, shaking him and calling his name, waiting and hoping for a response. At first, nothing happened, but then there was a hacking cough that sprayed more blood from his mouth. I turned him on his back and looked at his stomach wound; it was bad and was still bleeding.

    My hands began to shake, remembering this scene from that dream I had. He was as bloody as Chris had been, choking and spitting and moaning in agony.

    As gently as I could, I pulled Sammy's shirt up and over his head. He fidgeted on the floor, trying to grab at his stomach wound and somehow erase the pain, but it just brought more and he gave up quickly.

    “I know it hurts... I know...” I tried to be as calm as I could, mumbling words of comfort to him and telling him that everything would be okay, but even I was starting to hyperventilate.

    I inspected the wound as soon as I had pulled the shirt off of him. It was bad. I guess Jake had managed to stab him as he was turning and it caused a deep slash wound in his stomach. I looked around, scrambling for the paper towels near the sink and dragging the whole roll down, ripping off bundles of paper and placing them on the wound, soaking up as much as I could. I knew I had to call an ambulance for him; he was losing so much blood already.

    My cellphone was in the bedroom, so I got up and ran into the hallway. I could hear Sammy yelling my name, and really yelling; screaming so loud I heard his voice crack. I grabbed it and rushed back to his side, kissing him non-stop and telling him that I was here. He choked a reply, vomiting up blood and, oddly enough, smiling.

    He kept quiet as I dialed 911 on my cellphone and told the operator the situation. An ambulance was coming; Sammy would be alright.

    I looked at him and kissed him. He moaned and groaned and squeezed my hand so tight that I was sure my blood flow was blocked.

    “Taylor...” Sammy's struggles were getting weaker, I could feel it. I willed myself to say that this wasn't the end, Sammy was going to be okay, help was coming. I told him; I told him that he was going to be fine, because I was here.

    “I know...” He mused as I said that to him over and over, but the more I said it the less I knew that it was true.

    Sammy was dying; he would die right beside me.

    “Hold on... Hold on...” My voice was shaking and I began to cry non-stop, his hand in mine and my forehead resting in the crook of his neck.

    “Don't... Don't go...” Sammy mumbled. His grip on my hand slipped and I could hear his breathing become shallower and shallower.

    “It's okay... It'll be okay...” I stroked his hair and looked at him straight in the eye, “You are safe here, you're going to be okay now.” I made a shushing noise and kissed him on the lips, tears still streaming down my face.

    “Just close your eyes...” I murmured in his ear, “Think of a good, safe place; think of me.” I couldn't believe I was just letting him go like this, but it was the only thing I could do. I needed to comfort him in his last moments of agony; I wanted to make it as painless as possible for him.

    Suddenly, I began to hum the lullaby that I had heard when I was a child. I held his head in my hands and cradled him like a baby. I whispered how much I loved him, and how much of a beautiful man he was. I said that he didn't deserve what had happened, and most of all, I said how sorry I was.

    “I love you...” His voice was as faint as a mouse, and he stared up at me, smiling, his eyes peaceful, calm, nonchalant.

    “Good-bye, my precious Sammy, I love you so much...” His eyes glazed over, and his breathing stopped altogether. I laid him down on the ground, rubbing my hand over his eyes to close them for eternity.

    “I'm so sorry...”


    I kicked some stones into the river as I walked along the Manhattan coastline near the Brooklyn Bridge. I had decided to take a trip here for no apparent reason but to mope, as well as a duty that I had promised to do one day. Sammy's funeral was yesterday, and I had kept some of his ashes to scatter.

    I walked with both Chris's and Sammy's ashes in both hands. I had to get to a good spot, which was a little ways away from where I had parked the car.

    When I finally found a perfect spot, I waded into the water until it came up to my waist. The water was freezing cold and chunks of ice were floating along, but I didn't have a choice. With shivering hands, I dumped Chris's ashes into the water and watched it float for a minute before sinking underneath the surface.

    “I love you, Chris, my angel.” I whispered and then it was Sammy's turn. I also poured his ashes into the river, blowing a kiss that would never reach to him as I did so.

    “I love you, Sammy... I'm so sorry...” I still could not erase the images of that tragic memory. I had protected Sammy's innocence for so long, never letting anything harm him; I didn't want the terrible truth of reality to crash on him like it had with me. He was already broken with so much of it that I didn't want to hurt him anymore, but I was too late. He had died in a hate crime, and had lost it all.

    Enough was enough. I waded back to shore, my legs numb and barely mobile. I was shivering from head to toe, but I didn't care. I wanted to go back home and lay in my bed and think about nothing, try to imagine that nothing had ever happened, that I was sane, and not some insane psychopathic demon that could break down any second.

    Surprisingly, I did not have a seizure or anything after the death of Sammy; I had forced myself to remain calm and to treat the situation like a sane person would do, but the day after I still broke down. I don't even know if I was able to get all the traces of what happened out of the tile floor and the cabinets, as well as my clothes.

    Speaking of which, I remember having to bury the evidence of me murdering Jake by actually burying him. I dragged his body out of the house and buried it in the patches of mud beside the lake that was behind our house. I made sure that I wasn't seen doing so, and I also made sure that he wouldn't be dug up.

    But what did it matter? If they ever did dig him up, then I would be long gone by then. I'm not saying that they'd never be able to find him, I'm saying that I don't have a chance to live anymore. Sammy had been my savior, but I figured out that there was no way to get another like him, or Chris. I had been given a second chance, and I had failed in keeping it perfect; I always screwed up. It was a constant mistake, after mistake, after mistake. I was sick of it.

    I was just a bad luck charm, that was all. I couldn't protect the ones I loved; I was a fraud.


    It got colder over the past few weeks. Snow was falling, and before I knew it, it was December twenty-third, a day before my birthday. I had taken the bus to Manhattan, and I told the bus driver to drop me off anywhere. He dropped me off at the port that looked out over Hudson Bay. Choirs were singing, people were talking cheerfully to one another as they walked, bundled up in their winter jackets and their cheeks a rosy red color. The air was filled with the icy mist of people's breaths, and mine chorused with them as I walked along solemnly, my head low and trying not to attract attention from onlookers. Inside many of the stores I passed people were bustling around, trying to grab last minute Christmas gifts before the big day arrived.

    I chuckled to myself. They didn't know what they were doing; every gift they got every year was one more gift to their death. Why did people celebrate a new year? Why did people celebrate annual holidays? Why did people celebrate birthdays? We're a stupid race, we always were.

    I hadn't gotten a Christmas tree, or a gift for myself, or anything for that matter. There was no point in anything these days, and when Tracey asked me if I was doing alright I would lie all the time. I didn't want her to know about the screaming psychopath inside of me that always put a gun to my head and threatened my life with it. I was going to let him pull the trigger, but not right now. I had to enjoy myself, or at least have a taste of happiness before I died.

    It was dusk by the time that I had arrived at my destination of choice. There was no sound of construction so I gave a sigh of relief. I guess the workers were off for Christmas break, or had gone home from their work today.

    I stared into the newly built memorial for the World Trade Center. One of the towers was half-way built, it's windows reflecting the half-light from the dimming sun as it disappeared over the horizon. The last sunset.

    I jumped over the chain link fence that guarded the construction site from anyone else and hoped nobody had just seen me do that. I walked past various construction instruments and vehicles, my shoes puffing up clouds of dirt as I trotted onwards.

    There was this huge, square fountain with the names of all the people that died in the 9/11 attacks. The water fell into what seemed like an endless hole of darkness. It was a pretty unique design I had to admit, I liked it quite a bit.

    I sat on the black surface, the cold numbing my legs and hands that I had pressed up against it. I gazed into the water, being hypnotized by the flow of water into nothingness. I wanted to be the water; to so easily melt away into the drain, and never taste the feel of reality. Nothing but flowing with the rest of myself, never-ending, never turning back.

    I remembered the day when it happened; the terrorist attacks, that is. I was fifteen, just starting my sophomore year. Chris and I were together then, and I was at his house when it happened. I had stayed there with him, all of us freaked out and not knowing what was happening.

    I kind of wish we were closer to the attacks now. I'd die right beside Chris, like I should have. My life would have been over in a couple of seconds, I wouldn't even feel a thing. I never wanted something like that more than now.

    A scuffle; I turned around and saw a boy taking a seat right next to me. He seemed younger, but not by much, and had dark, chocolate brown hair. He was staring into the water like I was and sighing. He noticed me looking at him and I sharply turned my head back towards the water. What was he doing here?

    “Hey.” He noticed me, apparently.

    I mumbled a hardly audible greeting back.

    “Did your parents die in the 9/11 attacks too?”

    “No...” I narrowed my eyes at him. I could not trust anybody anymore.

    “Oh... Did you have a friend or another family member die here?”

    I shook my head, I didn't want to say no anymore. I didn't want to say anything, I just wanted him to leave; leave me to mope and collapse in this black hole that was my heart. I had nothing left to live for, I just wanted to die.

    Why was I still here?

    There was no response from the other boy at this so I left him alone and walked away. There was no more purpose for me here, I was long gone. Game Over: Quit Game.


    It wasn't that easy to find a way to kill myself. I decided against overdosing on my antidepressants which was my medication to help with my post-traumatic stress disorder. I had stopped taking it when Sammy died and I wouldn't dare touch it now. I was looking desperately for some painless way to end my life.

    Then I remembered something. When I was little, I had gotten a fever one day and told Deborah about it. She had given me Ibuprofen, and I soon discovered I was allergic to it.

    Maybe I could die by overdosing on that. I know I had a bottle of Ibuprofen for Sammy's purposes somewhere.

    I checked the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, and there was luckily a full bottle of Ibuprofen. I took it out, got a large glass of water, and began to pop the pills in my mouth.

    My throat was getting sore with every pill I crammed down my throat. I couldn't stop, though. I had no regrets, and I didn't want to go back. I wanted to see Chris and Sammy again; I wanted to feel alive once more.

    This world was cruel, pathetic, tasteless, and I hated every fucking bit of it.

    So to pills, I toast, in hopes of my death. How lovely.

    I dropped the empty bottle, smashing my water cup to the floor. I stumbled to my bedroom, already things were getting dizzy. I didn't have much time left.

    I flopped onto my bed, laying on my back and closing my eyes. I could feel my skin break out into rashes and hives, and I squirmed around, frantically scratching at my skin until it turned raw and began to bleed and blister.

    Then came the breathing problems.

    I felt like my lungs were being squeezed together. I coughed and wheezed and my struggles eventually grew weaker. I had forgotten about my itchiness and was now trying to suck in whatever oxygen I could. This wasn't really all that painless but I wished it was. I tried to calm down, let my brain tell my body to quit struggling. It was over, I had to accept that; it was time to surrender.

    So I laid there, my struggles in vain as I choked on my last breaths, an odd numbness creeping up on me and a nonchalant calm replacing it. This was it, the final straw.

    I tried to pry open eyes, but the dizziness and the blur was enough to make my already throbbing headache worsen. I forced them to stay open however, because I was beginning to feel something beside me, despite the numbness welling up.

    I looked to my left, and I could make out the glowing royal blue eyes and shimmering wings of Chris's angel. I stroked his face with my weak hand and gave him a sorry look. I know he hated me for going out with Sammy, and ending up breaking the promise we made to love each other forever.

    “I'm not angry at you at all. I was a bit surprised, yes, but I would never be jealous of you. I was happy, actually.” He leaned in and kissed me, the kiss burning like fire before melting away just as fast, leaving a tingling sensation; I don't know if it was the numbness, or if it was just a good kiss.

    “I love you... You will always be my one and only, my true love... I... Can't wait to see you again...” Between chokes I managed to spill out my love for Chris.

    He smiled at me, it was a warm smile that I had forgotten. I could feel the tears leaking from my eyes.

    But there was another presence. With great difficulty, I turned on my other side, coming face to face with Sammy.

    His sweet, innocent face was burned into my memory as a blood mess, but he was whole, and shimmering just as brightly as Chris was. He leaned in and brushed my hair, kissing me as well. Guilt hit me in the gut, and I screwed up my face in emotional pain, “I'm so sorry, Sammy... I love you very much; but I had let your innocence slip away, and I couldn't protect you...”

    Sammy was smiling as well, “There's nothing to be sorry for, Taylor. I am happy, that's all that matters.”

    Tears streamed down my cheek, and I turned on my back, allowing the ones I loved to curl up beside me, their presence a comfort as I no longer felt anything, and I knew I was slipping away. The ground and walls melted away, only to darkness where I was surrounded by in my bed. I held onto them, tightly, afraid and not knowing about what would come next. Would I see the bus stop again? Would I be dumped right at the gates to the Holy Kingdom? Would I shake hands with God? I didn't know, and I just let myself figure out the rest. I would see; I would see everything and be happy, because I would be with the ones I loved.

    I was happy to be dead.

    “Hold me... Closer...” I mumbled, closing my eyes and letting the warmth slip past, but knowing they were still there. I couldn't open my eyes anymore, and I could hear nothing but my slowing down heartbeat. My body gave a last feeble heave of effort, and I became lighter than the air.

    Everything was gone, I was away from the world of the living. I sent out a cry back to Earth that no one would ever hear.

    My name is Taylor Duncan, I had the Devil's powers, and I was desperately alone.

    And I am dead.

  3. #33
    sink. an illegible mess.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: the devil's gift. {non-pokemon}

    alrighty, here's the epilogue.

    please excuse me, i'm going to cry forever now that this is done ;;.

    i'd also like to thank all of the fans that read and supported this story, as well as people who are currently reading it! i really appreciate your support, and i hope that i can get this published and maybe win an award for it on here? ;D

    with this, i'm out!

    -starlight (lady lucifer).

    epilogue; purgatory

    ***


    He was floating amongst wherever, past the in-between, and to the meadows of rolling green hills and long and slender grass stalks that swayed in the gentle breeze.

    On his back when he arrived, he got up and felt the lightness of him as eventually, his wings and demon horns melted into the grass and away. His hair returned to it's previous state and he became whole again.

    A smile; he was finally free. He raced amongst the beautiful meadow, laughing and breathing in the fresh air, watching as the clouds rolled along the ocean blue sky. Everything was perfect.

    He was there as quickly as he had arrived; the looming mountain wasn't so high anymore as he scaled the rocks as easy as you could ride a bike. Up there was home, beyond the clouds, beyond everything below.

    There he came; came unto a glowing golden gate that arched high over his head and was the entranceway to the Holy Kingdom; home.

    And the images of the long lost love ones he had encountered met his gaze. They all stared lovingly upon him, shimmering in the holy light.

    In the middle were the two he had wished to see. They smiled widely, and he grinned back. They flew open their arms, calling him to where he belonged. He nodded in agreement and ran towards them, crying tears of joy and reunion. He would live amongst them, and watch over his brethren below. He would be apart of their lives again, for all eternity.

    But the darkest of intentions had arrived, and would not let him pass into the wonderful kingdom. No, the dark mist had arrived and was consuming him as he ran and ran, trying to get to his beloved. It trapped him in it's deadly fingers and pulled him back, making him leave this beautiful place, away from the ones he loved and the ones he wanted to meet so badly.

    He reached out a hand, stretching his fingers as far as he could so he could touch one of them, and they'd save him, but they gazed upon him with a melancholy gaze and were forced to turn away.

    Soon, he was consumed by all of the darkness and, for a small fraction of time, he thought he saw a shimmer of starlight glistening, but it disappeared, the last trace of hope gone.


    the end.

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