+The Darkness of Rendia+

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  1. #1
    FYI I am a Spy HiHeiwa's Avatar
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    Default +The Darkness of Rendia+

    May contain swearing,violence,etc.

    Prologue-Rendia
    Rendia.
    A peaceful land,with varying climate,and unplottable on any map.The reason being,it floats.
    A long time ago.before Groudon and Kyogre had met,Rendia was situated just below Hoenn.But then,the battle that ensued between the two caused a tsunami so great that it ripped Rendia from it's base,and set it on a constant voyage throughout the seas.

    Not much eventful happened after that.Life went on,and people lived with the climate.But a few months ago,something upset the balance.

    Herona City Hall
    A man in a scientist uniform burst through the door of the Mayor's room.
    "What is it?"The Mayor said in his usual dull tone.
    "Sir."Replied the scientist."A strange disturbance has been discovered around Mt. Yemils.We do not understand it,but it has been reported that Heiwa travelled there recently."
    "Him?Again?"The Mayor replied."What is so important about that man?"
    "Sorry sir,it's classified."
    "And do we have any proof that he has caused it?"
    "We can find no other cause."
    "Well,do as you see fit."At that moment a Wingull flew through the window,with a message in his beak."Ah.Can you leave?This is private."
    "Yes sir."The scientist turned and walked out the door.Waiting outside was his Kadabra."Relay a message to Her.Have Heiwa assassinated."
    The Kadabra nodded,and vanished in a blue light.The scientist sighed.What a waste...
    He suddenly realised something.He had forgot to count in the Resonance Cascader values.He quickly did a calculation in his mind.He was suddenly horrified.This was worse that he thought.He turned to enter the Mayor's room,but suddenly found himself looking at a bullet lodged in the doorway.What was even more amazing was that it was directly in front of where his heart would be if it was in him...
    He collapsed.A figure in a black suit walked towards the body,stopped and looked down.He muttered something,and the body vanished.The figure walked off.
    Last edited by HiHeiwa; 30th March 2009 at 01:36 PM. Reason: Spellcheck


  2. #2
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: +The Darkness of Rendia+

    First of all, that's way too short, I mean it's not even a full page. Second you don't double space, remember that you ahve to double space so people can read this well, third you need way more description and can you describe your characters

  3. #3
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Default Re: +The Darkness of Rendia+

    Quote Originally Posted by E-Trainer View Post
    First of all, that's way too short, I mean it's not even a full page. Second you don't double space, remember that you ahve to double space so people can read this well, third you need way more description and can you describe your characters
    The length isn't a problem at all on this board, but the rest of it I fully agree with.

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