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Thread: Dark Nostalgia

  1. #1
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    Default Dark Nostalgia

    Dark Nostalgia
    Book One: Feral Twilight



    ______________________________________________________________________________
    Rating: PG-13 for language, violence, tobacco/alcohol usage, and rude humor
    Genre: Fantasy and Science Fiction
    Basis: Original Trainer (non-journey), Colosseum/XD (part base)
    ______________________________________________________________________________


    i. Emergence

    Maritide Island-North, Ronac Region
    20 years ago

    It had been a long day at the International Institute of Pokémon Science. Having just finished her research, Felicia waited silently in the hall outside the building’s main laboratory.

    She was a young woman dressed in a shirt, jeans, and shoes that looked black in the corridor’s low light. Her skin was pale in comparison and her brunette locks accentuated its unusually light tone. Yet there was not a blemish on her visage.

    Scanning from side to side, she noticed that the forks were pitch-black. The girl tightened her grip on her backpack’s right strap and tapping her feet on the tiled floor at the sight.

    “Felicia?” a hearty baritone spoke from behind her.

    “Yes, Dr. Nobles,” she replied in a meager tone, looking slightly back at him.

    “Is something wrong? I thought you had already left,” he continued, shutting the lab’s steel door.

    The man was a stout fellow much older than her. He wore a lab coat over a dark plaid shirt and a pair of thick gray pants that seemed almost blend with his matching shoes and socks. His black hair had occasional silvery strands in it, and his thick facial hair was starting to gray.

    “Oh. No, it’s nothing, sir…”

    “Really?”

    “Well, I’m concerned about my project.”

    “You’re afraid the committee will be displeased with the results?” he cackled. She nodded.

    “Come now! No one else in the history of Pokémon Science has ever conceived an experiment even remotely similar to this. The board will be elated with your findings. Just wait and see.”

    She gave a hard grin. That was easy for him to say; it wasn’t his thesis. Even though she probably had ample data to support it, there was still the matter of protecting her project until her presentation.

    “If that is all, shall we go?” he asked, and then started down the long corridor with her.

    For a time, they were silent, though their footsteps echoed throughout the building. Hearing the reverberations, Felicia found herself tucking her hands deep into her pockets and futilely trying to keep her stare from sinking to the floor.

    “What’s wrong now?” he finally asked.

    “Creepy here at night,” she muttered.

    “Yes. It takes years of late-night studies to get used to this place. I once fainted down this very hall when I was a student. But then, that was the same night that a Gengar being kept here got loose and attacked me,” he then chuckled.

    “Great…”

    “So, that’s your first Pokémon?”

    “Pardon?”

    “Almost all the students who have ever set foot into this building either had Pokémon when they came or got them after orientation. But you’ve never had one. Why?” he replied. She didn’t reply.

    “You’re afraid and came to shirk yourself of the fear.”

    “And you just figured this out now?” she rebuked. He shook his head and stopped along with her.

    “It was obvious the day you came here, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

    “Yeah, right.”

    Felicia looked at him for a long moment, her stare dire. Then she glanced at the floor with a sigh, and finally down the hall towards the lobby.

    “Shall we?” her mentor asked as he again moved forward.

    “KY-OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” a powerful voice suddenly wailed as a strong gust hit them from behind.

    Both were blown to the floor. Overhead, the fluorescent bulbs burst. Seconds later, all the building’s windows shattered.

    Felicia lied still for a long moment before slowly pushing herself up. Her arms were terribly shaky and, when she finally stood, her whole body trembled.

    She was utterly flabbergasted. That roar was unlike anything she’d ever heard; it was so loud and overwhelming. Yet, she couldn’t help but feel an unusually deep sense of terror and not just because its intensity.

    “Dr. Nobles…” she murmured, looking down at her professor. He didn’t even twitch.

    “Edwin!” she whined, her eyes starting to water.

    “Wha-ohhhh…” he moaned.

    Felicia was about to kneel next to him, but turned back down the hall. Cautiously she headed for the lab. Whatever was there, she dreaded just what it was doing.

    Before she got even five steps away, a shrill voice cried, “GOW-YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

    She stopped dead in her tracks. There was a powerful explosion, followed immediately by a splatter.

    “Grrrrrrr… KY-OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” the first monster again howled, making the building quake this time.

    At the bay’s end, Felicia made a mad dash back to the lab. She didn’t understand why she had such vigor; it was like she was empowered by fury, like anger itself was coursing through her veins.

    “KY-OH-KY!” the creature barked, crashing into something.

    “Grrrrrrr… KY-OH!” it then yipped.

    “GOW-YEEEEEEEEEE!” her experiment squealed.

    “KY…” coughed the attacker.

    “GOW-YE!” There was a second blast.

    “KY-OH!” Then another crash, this time sounding like it went right through a wall.

    When she got to the fork, Felicia stopped and saw moonlight filtering out of the room. The door had been blown off its hinges and was now lying flat in middle of the junction. Faintly glowing ooze trailed from it into the room, with varying lime and black streaks across its surface.

    “Son of a bitch…” she growled.

    She entered the large room, just wishing she had a gun. Inside, there was more slime as well large indescribable chunks of something strewn across the floor. But, the shadow of a robust man standing before a gaping hole in the opposite wall was what really got her attention.

    “Hey, who the hell are you?” she barked. He just stood there silently as she approached him.

    “I’m talking to you, asshole! What the…” she said until something crunched underfoot.

    She stopped and looked to see two bulges in the slime. Kicking them aside, she saw they were halves of a Poké Ball.

    “Oh, you just messed with the wrong f…”

    She was at an utter loss for words when she saw the man was now standing before her. There was something wrong, horribly wrong with him! Whatever he was, it wasn’t human!

    For several long moments, the figure just looked down his maw at her with his glowing amber eyes. Likewise, Felicia gazed deeply into the prestigious black pits in the middles of the perfect circles.

    Finally, she blinked. And, the creature closed his eyes and exhaled a tired breath.

    She backed away. With each step she took, she could feel her pulse strengthening. Terror was grasping her again, but it felt more a hidden instinct emerging than it did just fear for her life.

    At the doorway, Felicia turned to run. But she was immediately struck down. Two whips lashed at her back with lightning speed, cutting like razors as they crossed her spine.

    She wanted to scream, but coughed up blood as she crouched on the floor. It felt like her organs had been lacerated, too.

    “What…the hell…are you?” she gagged.

    A rope lashed around her neck and forcefully yanked her backwards. As she was pulled, Felicia grabbed at her noose, but her hands slipped right through it like it wasn’t even real. The lasso tightened more, her trachea getting fully constricted.

    At the entity’s feet, Felicia watched helplessly as his form loomed motionlessly over her. Darkness seemed to consume it as she fall unconscious.

    “GY-YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” something shrieked.

    “Doxinox…” she murmured, just barely.

    “KY-OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” the beast again roared.

    <End Prologue>

  2. #2
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dark Nostalgia

    Didn't you already post this?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Dark Nostalgia

    Hmm... How do you mean, Blackjack? The one from November I just let die, did I not? Typically, on the other boards I'm on, threads and fics are considered dead if no reply or update for a month (or thirty days) and not to be "bumbed." Or did you get confused by this and the title of its attempted prequel, Darkest Longing?

  4. #4
    A black and white world Blackjack Gabbiani's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dark Nostalgia

    The bumping/necromancy rule doesn't apply in the fanfic forum. You can bump any thread at any time to review, and if it's your fic you can do so to add chapters. It's expected that you do so, in fact. Otherwise it's considered clutter.

  5. #5
    Dedicated Shinji Fan ShinjiLover's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dark Nostalgia

    Since I haven't seen whatever other fic you posted, I'll just review it.

    Now, it's all doing well. However, more description could be a great addition to your story. Tell how the character is feeling as well as what they're hearing and seeing and, occassionally, smelling if need be.

    A lot of the roars from the experiements were unneeded. In fact, none of the them were really necessary at all. But I'm just being nitpicky with that.

    Your descriptions of humans are absolutely astounding and I enjoyed them very much. They were really able to put a mental image in my head.

    All-in-all, I liked reading it and I look forward the first chapter to see if it gets any better. Which, trust me, it can. Mind you, I'm not saying it's no good. If I was, I wouldn't be coming back.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Dark Nostalgia

    Oh… I didn’t know that, Blackjack. I’ll send you a PM with a link to the last thread so you can close it when I get a chance. Besides, if you didn’t notice, there are some pretty important changes I made since then.

    And, ShinjiLover, as much as I appreciate a somewhat honest opinion, I must say you don’t seem to read between the lines a whole lot. First off, being in minimalist format, most of the witticisms you made about this prologue are in the wrong… Description of physical and emotional aspects of characters is supposed to be pretty lax and basic for the reason that it’s meant to leave the reader more to contemplate. And, this is actually the perfect format for prologues.

    Also, those roars were absolutely necessary as the Pokémon that bellowed them uses them as his primary attacks. Think of it kind of like Dialga’s Roar of Time; however, instead of distorting time, they do things far more horrific to all who are caught in their explosive sound waves. I guess it’s kind of hard to tell in the prologue, but you’ll probably get a better grasp of them in the coming chapters.

  7. #7
    Dedicated Shinji Fan ShinjiLover's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dark Nostalgia

    Quote Originally Posted by Canersia View Post
    And, ShinjiLover, as much as I appreciate a somewhat honest opinion, I must say you don’t seem to read between the lines a whole lot. First off, being in minimalist format, most of the witticisms you made about this prologue are in the wrong… Description of physical and emotional aspects of characters is supposed to be pretty lax and basic for the reason that it’s meant to leave the reader more to contemplate. And, this is actually the perfect format for prologues.

    Also, those roars were absolutely necessary as the Pokémon that bellowed them uses them as his primary attacks.
    Somewhat honest? O.o
    Okay, well, we all have different styles of writing. I just dislike when its only dialogue between two people with no description. And, before you make assumptions, know that I thoroughly read this prologue.

    No, the roaring didn't have to be placed in quotations, as you could've just said something roared. The actual roaring placed in quotations looks extremely unprofessional.

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