Cloud - A Drabble

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Thread: Cloud - A Drabble

  1. #1
    Dedicated Shinji Fan ShinjiLover's Avatar
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    Default Cloud - A Drabble

    Well, I wanted to test myself to see if I could get a point across by writing a drabble. A drabble, if you don't know, is a 100 word essay. They're mostly used to test a writer's ability to cope with such a small space of text and improve their writing abilities. . Somehow. So I thought I'd give it a shot! It's exactly 100 words (count them yourself, if you wish), 10 sentences, and 405 characters. Average word length is 4, average words per sentence is 10, and maximum words per sentence is 21. The average word length is something I definitely need to improve on, with average words per sentence is a close second. Enough of my rambling, which you probably didn't read (and which is longer than my drabble XD), read the drabble.

    --

    Clouds - An Interpretive Drabble by SL-sama

    If only I was a cloud. I could float along with the breezes. However, simplicity isn't a part of life. Life means hard work and dissatisfaction. Carefree natures are frowned upon. I wish for the simple life; I want an enjoyable man by my side with no worries in the world. With the pressures from my parents and society, I'm unable to free myself and be who I wish I could be. Clouds have no definite shape – I'm molded into the shape my parents want me to be. Not what I wish I was. I wish to be a cloud.

    --

    Mostly, this is about my Shaman King fic character. Todoke, Rei (Rei Todoke) wishes she was a cloud. What did you think? What did I need to improve on? =] Descriptive review, please!

  2. #2
    Its Magida time! Kiratwig's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cloud - A Drabble

    once again a peaceful work of art ^ ^

    Beware of the Palmtop Tiger

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    Poet Laureate AiedailEclipsed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cloud - A Drabble

    Oh My Goodness, I think you can write great, you should definitely, write more!
    "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it."
    -- Narrator, Pokemon: Jirachi Wish Maker
    "You can't change the world without getting your hands dirty."
    -- Lelouch Lamperouge, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion
    "Do I have a stamp on my forehead that says, 'The National Spokesperson for the Plight of Black People'? How the hell should I know the black perspective on The Color Purple? That's it, if I don't change classes, I'm gonna hurt this fool. Teachers treat me like I'm some kind of Rosetta stone for African-Americans. What? Black people learn how to read, and we all miraculously come to the same conclusion?"
    -- Victoria, Freedom Writers
    "N's heart is pure and innocent. But there is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence."
    -- Concordia, Pokémon Black/White 2

  4. #4
    Dedicated Shinji Fan ShinjiLover's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cloud - A Drabble

    Thanks, kiratwig and Milotic2003! I really appreciate the kind words. =] If I can find more about clouds to write about (drabble form, of course), I'll upload them here!

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