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  1. #31
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    @SpongeBob SquarePants;

    "-ise" as opposed to "-ize" is a difference between British English and American English. I guess "travelling" as opposed to "traveling" must be too because all of my spell checkers and stuff insist on the double l rather than the single as you said.

    I don't know whether this is a UK/US difference, but "practise" is the verbal form of "practice", which is a noun. Perhaps they don't make the distinction in America, I don't know.

    As for the awkward sounding sentences, I'll look over them. A couple I'm sure are correct, but the fact that you've pointed them out at all makes me think that I might be better off modifying them slightly anyway to make them clearer. I have a particular problem with sentences that go on too long and get a bit too wordy, so thanks for pointing them out, I'll edit them now.

    Anyway, thanks for reading and glad you enjoyed. And, yes, I always think that a Pokemon's personality should reflect its trainer's somewhat - a bit like Will and his Golduck, if you remember that from Chapter 2.

  2. #32
    The First Homunculus Pride's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    Yeah, actually, for "travelling" and "realise", it was fine when I read it, but when I went to give you that full out review, Firefox's spellchecker underlined them both with the red squiggly line, and it told me to change it to that. I'll keep this in mind :P.

    There is no verbal form, yeah you're right. I'll keep this in mind, too.

    I tryed suggesting some stuff, not sure if you'll like, but they sounded better to me, mostly it's just that you have some words in the sentences that kind of sound the same and it makes the sentence sound awkward to read.

    Yeah, I remember Will and his Golduck. They both seemed to reflect that, too. I look forward to more Charmander time, next chapter! ;)

  3. #33
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    Well I don't really have much to say here xD I'm not gonna try to find anything wrong with the chapter cause I know I'll just be spending hours trying to find something that isn't there.

    So far I still think that we're still in the introductory stages of the story you know, we're getting to know the characters more with each chapter and this chapter was basically a lesson for Max not to be so rash as well as Frankie for that matter. But there's also something else in this chapter, the fact that Max and Frankie should realize that if they're really going to find Will they would have to start seeing things differently, Frankie sees the world in candy colored glasses while Max sees it as if everything would eventually lead to their cover being blown somehow.

  4. #34
    Rocking the Lucario Thundagere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    Interesting chapter! I really enjoy the contrast in the brother's personalities, it's quite interesting. Wondering how the girls will play into the story...but at any rate, I'm loving this fic!
    Can I be added to the tag list?

    Made by Blue Dragon!

  5. #35
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    @Thundagere; Sorry for the delay in reply, yes, I'll add you to the tag list.

    And sorry to everyone for the recent hiatus. I've been quite busy with other things, and I've let this slip. You will be pleased to know, however, that I am working on Brotherhood again, and the next chapter should be up in the next couple of days.

    EDIT: I've also posted chapter summaries for the benefit of anyone who is interested in the story, but can't remember what's going on because of the hiatus. Now you can read over this succinct summaries to remind yourself and enjoy Chapter 5 when it comes out!
    Last edited by Gama; 6th September 2012 at 12:28 PM.

  6. #36
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    Once again, apologies for the long hiatus! I strongly recommend that if you haven't read this fic since the hiatus that you have a quick glance over the chapter summaries before reading this chapter. I promise they're really succinct, and will give you a good idea of what's going on, so that this chapter isn't confusing.

    Also, big thanks to @Elite Four Lugion; for nominating this fic for Best Alternate!




    Chapter 5 – Recovery

    ‘We can’t hang around! Will needs us!’

    ‘You’re not going to be any help to Will before you’re properly rested up. That goes for your Pokémon too.’

    ‘We’ve been resting up for hours! We can’t get any more rested up! Will, meanwhile, is probably being beaten to death by a bunch of crack addicts!’

    ‘Look, I want to help Will as much as you do, believe me, but going out, and straining yourself even further isn’t going to do anyone any good, not you, not me, and especially not Will.’

    Max and Anna stared at each other across the table, both refusing to back down. Frankie and Becky, who were also sitting opposite each other, quickly changed between looking at each other, Max, and Anna: both of them were desperate to make the situation less tense, but neither knew how. Eventually, Becky stood up.

    ‘Uh, Anna, can I talk to you upstairs for a moment please?’

    ‘Sure, Becky,’ said Anna, before turning to Max and Frankie to continue, ‘Now you two don’t go running off, and forgetting about your Pokémon upstairs, okay?’

    The two girls disappeared up the stairs. Max and Frankie sat in silence for a moment.

    ‘So, are you pleased with yourself, Frankie?’ asked Max sarcastically.

    ‘What!?’ exclaimed Frankie in disbelief, ‘What have I done?’

    ‘Isn’t this what you wanted, for us and those girls to band together, and go save Will as a fearsome foursome? Can you see what action means to girls like this now?’

    ‘It’s your fault we’re here! If you hadn’t been such a jerk, and insisted on refusing their help, and insisted on fighting those Weedle, we wouldn’t have gotten hurt, and needed their help in the first place!’

    ‘Needed their help! Oh please! That situation was totally under control! You’re such a baby.’

    ‘Are you kidding? That wasn’t under control! We were swamped back there!’

    Max simply waved his hand in Frankie’s face dismissively.

    ‘You’re such a jerk! You don’t care about Will at all! All you care about is your ego! I wish I was doing this with Will instead of you! I hate you!’

    ‘Feel free to go home if saving your brother is such a chore.’

    Frankie stormed out of the room, and upstairs, back to Becky’s room, where he had woken up. He threw open the door without knocking, revealing Anna and Becky sitting on the bed together, in the middle of a conversation.

    ‘Frankie!’ exclaimed Becky, ‘Is everything alright?’

    ‘Max is being a jerk,’ he answered, ‘Can I hang out with you guys for a bit?’

    ‘What’s he saying?’ asked Becky.

    ‘Oh, he’s just saying it’s my fault we need to wait here before we leave, and that we shouldn’t have come here.’

    ‘Well, I don’t see that you had much choice in coming here, and I don’t think it was anyone’s fault,’ said Becky.

    ‘I’ll go talk to Max,’ said Anna, ‘I’ll see if I can get him to calm down.’

    Anna left the small bedroom, closing the door behind her.

    ‘Come sit down,’ said Becky.

    Frankie walked over to the bed, and sat down.

    ‘Last time I checked your Squirtle was doing really well,’ said Becky with a smile, ‘He’s looking really happy now, he’s so cute!’

    ‘Yeah, he is, but he’s a little timid. He’s been holding on to my leg the whole time we’ve been walking.’

    ‘Oh yeah, I saw at the Park. Don’t worry, lots of Pokémon are like that when they’re babies. I’m sure he’ll get more confident when he gets a bit bigger.’

    ‘I hope so. I’m not gonna be any help to Will if he doesn’t.’

    ‘You’re a really nice kid, Frankie.’

    ‘Thanks,’ said Frankie, looking down in embarrassment.

    ‘No, I mean it! It’s really sweet what you and Max are doing for your brother! I wish I had a brother or sister as sweet as you guys!’

    ‘I guess...’

    ‘I mean, I have Anna obviously. Oh, Anna’s my cousin – did I mention that already? I’m sure I did. Yeah, I have Anna, but it would be nice to have someone who lives with me, and it must be so awesome to live with Will Wynne! What’s he like?’

    ‘He’s cool, I guess. He’s much nicer than Max.’

    ‘Max means well, you know,’ said Becky.

    ‘He only cares about himself,’ replied Frankie, ‘He doesn’t care about Will at all. I wish I’d never come with him.’

    ‘Oh! Don’t say that! Max isn’t so bad!’

    ‘You don’t have to live with him!’

    ‘That’s true, but sometimes you can learn a lot about someone you know really well from what a stranger says about them. It’s obvious Max is going to extra efforts to be a strong leader, but maybe that’s because he knows that without Will around, he’s got to be strong for you?’

    ‘I don’t think so.’

    ‘Why not?

    ‘He’s too much of a jerk. He doesn’t think like that.’

    ‘People are rarely that one dimensional. You should give him a chance.’

    ‘How about him giving me a chance? He’s the one who’s always calling me stupid!’

    ‘Yeah... He can be a little impatient, but... You can deal with that, can’t you? I’m sure you can rise above all that pettiness, even if he can’t.’

    ‘I guess...’

    Meanwhile, Anna was sat back at the table with Max.

    ‘I thought you liked Will?’ snapped Max, ‘He’s probably dying right now because we’ve spent the last two hours sitting around doing nothing. I’m fine, Bulbasaur’s fine, Frankie’s fine, and Squirtle is useless anyway!’

    ‘If you go rushing around everywhere, you’re gonna get yourself into another mess like you did with the Beedrill!’

    ‘Mess? Oh please! We’d have been fine if you and your stupid friend hadn’t stuck your noses in!’

    ‘Are you serious? We saved your lives! Ugh, I should keep your Bulbasaur! I feel so sorry for the poor thing being stuck with a horrible trainer like you! I bet as soon as you’re out of here you’re gonna get it into another battle that it’s not ready for, aren’t you?’

    ‘Oh you are such a mum!’

    ‘A mum?’

    ‘Yes! Not everyone needs mothering, you know!’

    ‘Maybe not, but when I see two boys running through the forest, screaming for their mum, and being attacked by a swarm of angry bugs, I think maybe they could use some help! I can’t believe you’re related to Will Wynne! It just goes to show that even the best people in the world aren’t exempt from annoying families!’

    Max opened his mouth to respond, but Anna stormed off back upstairs, once again leaving him alone on the table. He sat there for a few minutes, trying to figure out what should be done next. Soon, Frankie came down the stairs.

    ‘Max?’

    ‘What do you want?’

    ‘I just wanted to say sorry about before.’

    ‘Huh? I mean, yeah, good.’

    Frankie paused to stop himself from losing his temper.

    ‘Yeah, I’m sorry I said you only cared about your ego. I know you care about Will, and I know you’re trying to look out for me.’

    ‘Yeah... Well, I’m sorry for calling you a baby, I guess, and for calling you stupid.’

    ‘All the time.’

    ‘Hey, I don’t call you stupid all the time.’

    ‘You call me stupid a lot.’

    ‘Not that much... Do I? Well, I’m sorry anyway... You’re not stupid.’

    ‘I wish you could be nice like this more often. You always seem to be angry with me, and want to put me down.’

    ‘Not always... Just sometimes... Well, I’m sorry. Hey, what is this “Have a go at Max hour” or something?’

    ‘Sorry.’

    They both paused for a few moments.

    ‘No, I’m sorry,’ said Max, ‘I guess I can be a little... impatient with you. It’s just... It’s always you and Will... It’s never me. It’s always about Will, and he’s always a great guy to everyone but me, especially you!’

    ‘...Will? What are you talking about? Will isn’t mean. Will’s great!’

    ‘Are you kidding? Are you blind? Will isn’t mean to you, Will is great to you, but he’s horrible to me!’

    ‘He is?’

    ‘Yeah, while he’s being nice to you, he’s always putting me down! You know he let you win that battle between you and him, right?’

    ‘No, he didn’t. He had a new Pokémon. It could’ve gone either way, plus I had the type advantage.’

    ‘Yeah! You had the type advantage, and it was an even playing field, and he still let you win! He told his Charmander to hold back from using Scratch, don’t you remember?’

    Frankie paused for a second.

    ‘Oh yeah... He did do that... Wasn’t there a reason for that, though?’

    ‘Yeah! To let you win! He wanted to protect his special baby Frankie!’

    ‘No, I mean, wasn’t he trying to do something? Like a technique or something.’

    ‘He could’ve beaten you right then if he’d had his Charmander keep attacking.’

    ‘No, well... I guess, maybe. Well, what does it matter anyway?’

    ‘When’s the last time he let me win? When’s the last time he hasn’t gone out of his way to make his battles against me as humiliating as possible?’

    ‘But that’s what battling is about: showing your opponent who’s boss.’

    ‘Where’s the sport in always showing your little brother whose Pokémon are much less experienced than yours who’s boss, huh? Why does he always have to do that? Why does he have to use his Pokémon of the same type to defeat mine? He could take all of my Pokémon out with any one of his Pokémon if he wanted to, but no! He has to use each one of his Pokémon to beat each one of mine to make sure it’s as humiliating as possible!’

    ‘Sorry, I never saw it that way.’

    ‘And that’s not it! Every time anyone ever wants to talk to me, it’s always “Oh, you’re Will Wynne’s little brother, aren’t you?”! People are never interested in me, it’s all about Will, all the time. Look, maybe you’re right. Maybe I wanted to save Will for the wrong reasons... I guess, maybe, possibly, part of it was that I wanted to be the hero for once, that I saw an opportunity to be the strong, successful one, and I didn’t want to let it go.’

    ‘No, that’s not right,’ said Frankie with a smile, ‘You saw that you had to be the strong, successful one, and you stepped up to the mark! You’re right, Will’s not gonna get anywhere with just that little Charmander. We need to help him!’

    Max nodded and grinned.

    ‘That’s right! Now when are we gonna get out of here? You ready to go?’

    ‘I feel fine. If Squirtle is alright, then I’m good to go.’

    ‘Great!’

    The two brothers excitedly headed upstairs to tell the Anna and Becky of their decision. Needless to say, they were unimpressed.

    ‘You were in a very serious attack,’ insisted Anna, ‘You need your rest. Your Pokémon aren’t ready either. If you keep putting them under such constant and severe strain, they’re going to collapse!’

    ‘I want to see Bulbasaur,’ said Max.

    ‘He’s resting,’ said Anna, ‘Let him be.’

    ‘Anna,’ said Becky, ‘They seem like they’ve recovered really well to me, and it does sound like Will Wynne needs help. Maybe we should at least check on the Pokémon to see if they’re doing a bit better?’

    Anna stood silently for a moment with pursed lips. The other three all looked to her hopefully.

    ‘Fine,’ she said eventually, ‘But I refuse to let those poor little baby Pokémon out of this house if they’re even slightly hurt!’

    The four of them headed to the spare room, where Max had woken up, and where the Pokémon were now being kept. Bulbasaur sat in the middle of the room, staring directly ahead with such a focused expression that it almost looked like it was meditating. Squirtle excitedly jumped up when they entered the room, running over to Frankie, and hugging his leg, squealing as it did so.

    ‘They look fine to me, Anna,’ said Becky.

    ‘I suppose...’ replied Anna, ‘I guess I can let you guys go, but I have one condition!’

    Max, Frankie, and Becky looked to Anna expectantly.

    ‘You two have to let Becky and I come with you! You are obviously incapable of thinking about the welfare of these Pokémon when you get too into your fighting and your little mission!’

    ‘Sure!’ said Frankie immediately.

    ‘No way!’ said Max immediately after.

    ‘Well, I can’t in good conscience allow you to take these poor, innocent Pokémon with you then. You cannot look after them. I ought to report you!’

    ‘Max, please!’ begged Frankie, ‘They saved us! They’re not gonna be a problem!’

    Max scowled.

    ‘Do you two understand discretion?’ he asked.

    Anna and Becky nodded, smiling.

    ‘So you know that there’s to be no bragging about this to your friends, even after everything’s been sorted out, right?’

    ‘Of course!’

    ‘Yes!’

    ‘Hmmm... Alright, I guess you can come with us then.’

    ‘Oh my God, Anna, I’m so excited! We’re gonna save Will Wynne!’

    ‘I know, Becky! I can’t believe it!’

    The girls then leapt into one another’s arms, squealing excitedly as they did. Max gave an exasperated sigh.

    ‘First stop – the Mart!’ announced Anna, ‘If you guys had been a little better at forward thinking, and actually bought some Potions and Poké Balls before setting off, you wouldn’t have gotten in that mess in the National Park, and we wouldn’t have had to save you!’

    Max and Frankie let out a joint sigh this time, and followed the two cousins out of the house with their Pokémon in tow.

    Meanwhile, in the National Park, a man and a woman dressed entirely in black leather jumpsuits, complete with helmets that obscured their faces, rooted around in some bushes. They appeared to be looking for something.

    ‘Something appears to have happened here, but I can’t work out quite what,’ said the female figure, ‘There’s a lot of foot prints, not all of them belonging to the boys. The interesting thing is that the boys’ footprints stop inside here. They go into the bushes, but they don’t come back out.’

    The male figure sighed.

    ‘Why does this matter anyway? The rewards for finding these kids are so small that there’s no way they’re worth all this effort.’

    ‘Weren’t you listening to what I was saying when we decided to track these kids down?’

    ‘Of course I was! Do you think I’d have come if I wasn’t? It’s something to do with their older brother, wasn’t it?’

    Now the female figure sighed.

    ‘They’re Will Wynne’s younger brothers. He’s also missing. I think if we can track them down, they might lead us to Will himself, or at least give us a clue of how to get there.’

    ‘Alright,’ replied the male figure, ‘But isn’t the reward for him the same as his brothers? It’s still not worth all this effort, even if it is a little more.’

    ‘You don’t know who Will Wynne is? Don’t you remember talking about this?’

    ‘Of course I know who Will Wynne is. Everyone knows who Will Wynne is.’

    ‘Ugh, that’s not what I meant. I mean, don’t you know about his... other persona... The one that it definitely would be worth our time to catch?’

    ‘Wait... I thought that was just a rumour?’

    ‘Pfft! It’s a rumour like climate change is a rumour! Now get back to looking, we’ll be in the money if we can pull this off.’
    Last edited by Gama; 7th September 2012 at 10:38 AM.

  7. #37
    THE CULT OF PERSONALITY System Error's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    All right, so let's talk about this fic so far.

    It seems that in this world, being a popular and famous battler who's the most favorite in Johto - presumably because everyone else in the country sucks - comes with its downsides. Namely, jealousy from very jealous and angry thugs, and people putting bounties out on you or something. Although I was a little disappointed that Gengar vs. Nidorino wasn't at all at any point like the opening scene of Red. :P No karate chops from Gengar or charges from Nidorino to be found at all, just some insane charging and deflection. Battles are crazy.

    I enjoy the banter between the three brothers too. Of course, in a way, said banter is to blame for the plot of the story, but then again, the same could be said about not having designated spots for people who want to battle. Or the Goldenrod City police for incompetence. I do like the neat implication though, either that Frankie isn't THAT far behind, if what little he was able to do was enough so that Will Pokemon couldn't stand up to the thug's, or his strats aren't built for longevity.

    I don't quite get Will's logic about Nidorino covering Bulbasaur, though. The former is mostly about the poison and horn, whereas the latter is mostly about the grass and the powder and the vinestruction. Not a mistake on your part, per se, since it can be a mistake on his. As for the stumbly (in-universe) battle in Part 3, though Squirtle can't actually learn Scratch in-games, it fit Frankie's character better to copy Will better and it has claws that should logically allow it to do so, so who cares? Max, on the other hand, seems to think he knows more than he actually does - even given his above-average knowledge. But still probably is the kind of guy to think rock is weakest of all because paper covers it and scissors cuts paper.

    So what, the path around Goldenrod isn't open? Or are dem Cut trees in the way? But anyway, never thought of Beedrills to be the kind of species to protect their young, but hey, they're the second-biggest douchebags of the Pokemon universe behind Zubat, so they totally don't need a reason. Then there's the nympho girls stripping Wynne brothers naked. At first, I thought they were going to be two of a kind. Instead, it looks like they're only of the same suit. Becky who's able to get shit done with reasoning and leveling is an 8, and angry moralistic Anna is totally a 5, or maybe an egotistical queen.

    So yeah, that's about the gist of things so far. Well, excepting that last part, and for some reason my first response was to think Will Wynne is secretly Dr. Doom or something. It is an interesting question as to why talented Will Wynne the human would have the same reward put out for him by whoever does those kinds of things as his irrelevant brothers.

    Looking forward to reading more of this story, G.
    Don't know what to put here.

  8. #38
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    Oh, that was interesting. I wonder who those two at the end are.

  9. #39
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    Thanks for the responses, System Error and Lugion. I'll be adding a new chapter later today. Would you like me to add either of you to the tag list?

    Quote Originally Posted by System Error View Post
    All right, so let's talk about this fic so far.

    It seems that in this world, being a popular and famous battler who's the most favorite in Johto - presumably because everyone else in the country sucks - comes with its downsides. Namely, jealousy from very jealous and angry thugs, and people putting bounties out on you or something.
    I envision it as it's much harder to raise Pokemon in this world. It seems crazy easy in the games given how much prestige there seems to be attached to being Champion. The level of difficulty and reward don't seem to add up. So, in my imagining of the world, it's very difficult to raise Pokemon, defeat Gym Leaders, collect Badges and become Champion.

    I enjoy the banter between the three brothers too. Of course, in a way, said banter is to blame for the plot of the story, but then again, the same could be said about not having designated spots for people who want to battle. Or the Goldenrod City police for incompetence. I do like the neat implication though, either that Frankie isn't THAT far behind, if what little he was able to do was enough so that Will Pokemon couldn't stand up to the thug's, or his strats aren't built for longevity.
    I'm guessing you mean Max here rather than Frankie xD. But yes, the relationship between the three brothers is something I wanted to be one of the main parts of the story... Hence the title!

    I don't quite get Will's logic about Nidorino covering Bulbasaur, though. The former is mostly about the poison and horn, whereas the latter is mostly about the grass and the powder and the vinestruction. Not a mistake on your part, per se, since it can be a mistake on his.
    True, but it's still the case that a Fire (and Flying) type adds much more to the team than a Grass and Poison type would if you already have a Poison type. Also, probably isn't so much a mistake on his part as it is him over simplifying things for his less technically knowledgeable brothers.

    As for the stumbly (in-universe) battle in Part 3, though Squirtle can't actually learn Scratch in-games, it fit Frankie's character better to copy Will better and it has claws that should logically allow it to do so, so who cares? Max, on the other hand, seems to think he knows more than he actually does - even given his above-average knowledge. But still probably is the kind of guy to think rock is weakest of all because paper covers it and scissors cuts paper.
    Whoops! The Scratch thing was actually just a mistake, but, yeah, it does work better that way. And I think you're right about Max too.

    So what, the path around Goldenrod isn't open? Or are dem Cut trees in the way?
    I guess they just thought it would be easier to go through the National Park than to go through the undergrowth which includes, as you say, Cut trees.

    But anyway, never thought of Beedrills to be the kind of species to protect their young, but hey, they're the second-biggest douchebags of the Pokemon universe behind Zubat, so they totally don't need a reason. Then there's the nympho girls stripping Wynne brothers naked. At first, I thought they were going to be two of a kind. Instead, it looks like they're only of the same suit. Becky who's able to get shit done with reasoning and leveling is an 8, and angry moralistic Anna is totally a 5, or maybe an egotistical queen.
    Well I'll let you in on a little secret. The reason you think that is probably because at the time of me writing the chapter preceding this one Anna and Becky were meant to be two of a kind. They were also meant to be one-off characters with little importance to the overarching plot (they also weren't originally going to save the Wynne brothers from the Beedrill). I changed all this and now they have slight distinctions in their characters, although I would like to think they haven't departed too much from their Chapter 4 personas.

    So yeah, that's about the gist of things so far. Well, excepting that last part, and for some reason my first response was to think Will Wynne is secretly Dr. Doom or something. It is an interesting question as to why talented Will Wynne the human would have the same reward put out for him by whoever does those kinds of things as his irrelevant brothers. Looking forward to reading more of this story, G.
    Well, thank you very much for leaving your detailed review, I really appreciate it, and I hope you enjoy the next chapter as much as you seem to have enjoyed this one!


    Quote Originally Posted by Elite Four Lugion View Post
    Oh, that was interesting. I wonder who those two at the end are.
    I'm going to put out the new chapter later on today, where a little more about them will be revealed. Thanks for reading.

  10. #40
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    Yeah, go ahead and add me.

  11. #41
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Brotherhood



    Chapter 6 – Journey


    After stopping off at Ecruteak’s Poké Mart, the group headed South along Route 37 towards Violet City and the Ruins of Alph. Bulbasaur stormed ahead of the rest of the group, as always seeming completely indifferent to what was happening behind it and caring only for the road ahead. Next in line was Max, who was walking at a slightly faster pace than everyone else with a look of urgency on his face. After that, Frankie did all that he could to keep up, but with Squirtle attached to his leg this wasn’t easy. Following him were Anna and Becky, who walked side by side with linked arms. Finally, Clefairy and Jigglypuff skipped at the back, holding hands.

    ‘Guys, hurry up!’ shouted Max, back to the rest of the group, ‘We need to get to the Ruins of Alph!’

    ‘What exactly are we gonna do once we get there?’ Anna called forwards in response.

    Max opened his mouth to reply, but was lost for words. He suddenly realised that he had no plan whatsoever. He had thought through only up until the point when they arrived at the Ruins of Alph. He had not even considered the fact that after that they would need to do anything more than waltz in, grab Will and their Pokémon, and waltz back out again.

    ‘No plan as usual, I see,’ said Anna, ‘Men! What are they like?’

    ‘Hey!’ objected Max, ‘That’s not fair! I have a plan!’

    ‘Oh?’ said Anna, ‘What is it?’

    ‘We’re... We’re gonna head to the Ruins of Alph... and we’re gonna do a reconnaissance of the area, then we’re gonna meet back and plan our next steps from there!’

    Max was proud of himself. He had come up with it on the spot, and yet he was sure it sounded like a credible plan that could have been formulated over an extended period of time.

    ‘Like I said, you don’t have a plan,’ said Anna, ‘Look, if the purpose of us going is to help Will Wynne, shouldn’t we train our Pokémon, and maybe try to catch some new ones? I mean, if we’re not going to need to battle, then why does Will need us at all?’

    Frankie and Becky indicated their agreement.

    ‘I guess,’ said Max begrudgingly.

    Max was disappointed. Anna’s plan sounded sensible, but involved delaying getting to the Ruins of Alph, which he was desperate not to do. It was decided that they should stop where they were to train. It was well known that stronger Pokémon are found in Northern Johto, so it didn’t make sense to delay the training on a Southward journey. Anna and Becky’s training consisted mostly of having their Jigglypuff and Clefairy work together to take down opponents. Becky’s Jigglypuff would put them to sleep, and then Anna’s Clefairy would use Metronome until it happened across a move that knocked them out. This training did not seem particularly constructive to Max. His training consisted of stalking Pokémon in the long grass with Bulbasaur and trying to catch them. His logic was that if he managed to catch them, he’d have a new Pokémon to battle with, and if he didn’t, Bulbasaur would get experience from the battle anyway. He made sure that Frankie did the same, rather than emulating Anna and Becky’s ridiculous techniques.

    Annoyingly, Max found himself utterly unable to catch anything. Bulbasaur was doing reasonably well in its battles, but the wild Pokémon always managed to escape before he threw a Poké Ball at them. The only ones that didn’t seemed to be the ones that Bulbasaur didn’t stand a chance against, which Max ran away from to avoid putting his partner in danger and, more importantly, proving Anna right. He was pleased that Bulbasaur seemed to be getting stronger, as well as truly mastering the Vine Whip technique and picking up a few others, but he had set himself the target of catching at least one Pokémon while they were on Route 37 and it was very frustrating to be unable to achieve it.

    Meanwhile, Frankie was having a different problem. Squirtle was not becoming any less timid. If anything, it was more timid than before. Frankie suspected it was due to the Beedrill episode in the National Park. He didn’t spend much time wondering about this, though, as he was far more focused on Squirtle finally pulling it together: there was no way they would be any help in saving Will if it didn’t. Every time a wild Pokémon appeared out of the grass, Squirtle jumped backwards, sometimes crying, and put Frankie between it and the opposing Pokémon. No amount of encouragement would have it do anything else.

    Seeing the brothers’ struggles, Anna and Becky took a break from their own training.

    ‘Do either of you need a hand?’ asked Becky.

    ‘No! I can do this by myself!’ said Max immediately.

    ‘Um, if you guys could maybe help me encourage Squirtle to be a bit less... timid, that’d be awesome,’ said Frankie.

    Sighing at Max’s stubbornness, the girls went over to Frankie. They worked together with Frankie to pry Squirtle off of his legs.

    ‘You should start telling him off when he grabs your legs,’ instructed Anna, ‘He needs to learn that it isn’t acceptable.’

    Frankie nodded. He was a little hesitant but as Squirtle clambered back towards his legs, he leant forwards, and put out a stern finger.

    ‘No! That’s very bad! You must not grab on to my legs.’

    Squirtle looked up at Frankie with a positively terrified look in its eyes. It looked around for something else to protect itself with, but found nothing. It took a few cautious steps towards Frankie’s legs.

    ‘I said “no”, Squirtle,’ said Frankie, with a harsher voice this time.

    Squirtle looked dejected, but settled for standing right next to Frankie’s legs instead.

    ‘Well, it’s a start,’ said Becky.

    ‘Now we need to find another Pokémon for him to battle,’ said Anna.

    Frankie urged Squirtle forwards through the long grass. The Water type reluctantly went, shivering in terror as it did. A Spinarak leapt out towards it, disturbed by their movement through the area. Squirtle dived for Frankie’s legs, but upon being told off again, took a cautious step away, keeping one hand on his trainer.

    ‘Okay, Squirtle, now use Bubble like before,’ ordered Frankie.

    Squirtle could hardly stop itself from shaking and hyperventilating, let alone muster an attack. The Spinarak took a few steps towards it. Squirtle took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm its breathing so it could launch an offensive. Suddenly though, it found itself covered in a light web launched by its opponent. This was enough to send it into a blind panic. It didn’t go for Frankie’s legs this time, instead just running in a random direction. Before long, its small head collided with a tree, shaking the entire trunk. Squirtle was stunned enough by that incident, but was even more stunned when a small Aipom came tumbling out of the tree, and landed in front of him. The two Pokémon stared at each other, both paralysed by fright.

    ‘Squirtle, Bubble!’ ordered Frankie.

    Unfortunately, the whole ordeal had rendered Squirtle completely unable to hear Frankie’s commands. It simply sat there, staring at the Aipom, paralysed by fear. Likewise, the Aipom sat there, staring at Squirtle. Frankie had no idea what to do.

    ‘Frankie!’ whispered Becky, ‘Throw a Poké Ball!’

    Frankie couldn’t believe he didn’t think of it himself. He grabbed one of the Poké Balls that he’d bought in Ecruteak Mart from his bag and hurled at it at the Aipom. As soon as the monkey Pokémon disappeared, Squirtle snapped back into reality and loosed a torrent of bubbles from its mouth. They bounced off the Poké Ball ineffectively, but Squirtle smiled proudly, ecstatic that it had managed to execute the attack in a battle-like situation after having repeatedly failed to do so. The Poké Ball did not shake at all. It jittered ever so slightly at first, but quickly stopped moving, and clicked to indicate that it was secure. Frankie could hardly believe that he had just caught a Pokémon for the first time. He didn’t dare approach the Poké Ball just in case that somehow resulted in Aipom escaping.

    ‘Are you gonna pick it up or what?’ asked Becky eventually.

    Frankie realised the absurdity of his hesitance at this question and walked forwards to take the Poké Ball. He held it in his hand proudly. Squirtle was delighted too, somehow seeing itself as partially responsible for the successful capture. Frankie pressed the button to release Aipom from its Poké Ball. The small creature gazed lovingly up at its new master. Squirtle then approached it and gave it a hug. Aipom happily returned the embrace. The two latched on to one another lovingly, seeming as though they would never let go. Needless to say, Anna and Becky were delighted by the adorable display.

    Meanwhile, Max continued to struggle. He was becoming so infuriated with the situation that he began to pay less attention to the fact that Bulbasaur’s battling ability was clearly improving. With every Spinarak, Pidgey, and Ledyba that managed to escape, his focus worsened. He always remembered, though, to get Bulbasaur out of any battle it looked like it couldn’t handle: he couldn’t bear the thought of Anna saying ‘I told you so’. With Squirtle and Aipom lending each other confidence and supporting each other, both physically and emotionally, Frankie’s training was going ahead with practically no hurdles, so Anna and Becky returned their attention to Max and Bulbasaur.

    ‘Do you need any help?’ asked Anna, seeing that Max was struggling.

    ‘I told you before,’ he snapped in response, ‘I can do it myself. Go away.’

    Anna and Becky were offended, but said nothing. They took a few steps back and watched the scene. Gasps came from the two of them and Max as a wild Growlithe suddenly jumped out of the grass, growling aggressively at Bulbasaur. They had never seen such a rare Pokémon in the wild before. Hearing their shock, Frankie picked up his two Pokémon, and also came to watch.

    ‘Bulbasaur! Poison Powder!’ ordered Max, desperate to capitalise on what might be his only encounter with a Growlithe ever.

    He was pleased to hear impressed gasps from Anna and Becky at Bulbasaur’s mastery of this new technique. Bulbasaur shot a purple dust out of its bulb that landed on its opponent. The Growlithe coughed and spluttered as the poisonous powder entered its lungs, but after about a second responded by roasting Bulbasaur in a light flame. The Grass type was obviously seriously injured by the attack, but Max was determined.

    ‘Doesn’t Squirtle have a type advantage?’ asked Frankie, ‘Should I get him to help?’

    ‘I don’t need your help!’ snapped Max in return, ‘Bulbasaur, Tackle!’

    Bulbasaur obediently slammed into the Fire type with all its weight. The poison also seemed to be having an effect, but as the Growlithe immersed Bulbasaur in another flame, it became clear that the Grass type was not going to win this battle.

    ‘Get Bulbasaur out of there!’ commanded Anna furiously.

    ‘We can handle this! Butt out!’ snapped Max in response.

    ‘Please Max!’ begged Becky, ‘At least let us help!’

    ‘I’ll put it to sleep with Jigglypuff!’ said Anna.

    Jigglypuff leapt forwards, and gave a high pitched squeal to affirm its compliance with Anna’s suggestion.

    ‘No! Get lost! Bulbasaur can handle this!’ shouted Max, ‘Bulbasaur, Tackle again! Make it count!’

    The Grass type leapt forwards, less energetically than before, and knocked into its opponent with its side. The Growlithe winced for a moment but then unleashed a third flame on Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur took a few disorientated steps towards Max and stared up at him pathetically. It was clear that it couldn’t take much more of this battle.

    ‘Alright, that’s it!’ yelled Anna, ‘Jigglypuff! Put that Growlithe to sleep with Sing!’

    Jigglypuff excitedly leapt forwards, leapfrogging over Bulbasaur’s head, and placed itself behind the wild Growlithe. The Fire type turned around in shock. It looked as though it were about to attack, but the sweet song sung directly into its ear quickly made it drowsy and confused before causing it to collapse altogether. Once its task had been accomplished, Jigglypuff ran back to Anna, who gave it a congratulatory hug and thanked it. Bulbasaur took a few cautious steps towards its opponent.

    ‘Go for it, Bulbasaur!’ shouted Max, ‘One more Tackle!’

    Bulbasaur growled viciously, and leapt at its now slumbering enemy once more. Max immediately hurled a Poké Ball at the sleeping Pokémon. The Ball shook gently at first, the four trainers and five Pokémon present all waiting with bated breath to see the result. It then began to shake more violently. Max was sure the capture was going to be unsuccessful, this time at least.

    ‘It’s woken up!’ exclaimed Becky, with her hand to her mouth.

    Fortunately, the shaking began to calm down again and soon the Ball was still. There was a quiet click, indicating that Growlithe had been successfully captured.

    ‘You’re welcome!’ said Anna as Max picked up the Poké Ball proudly.

    ‘What did you do?’ he snapped in return, ‘Me and Bulbasaur are the ones who did all the hard work! Isn’t that right, Bulbasaur?’

    Bulbasaur avoided making eye contact with Max, instead looking glumly at the floor. It seemed ashamed.

    ‘Hmm... I guess you’re right Bulbasaur...’ said Max reluctantly, ‘Perhaps, maybe, possibly Anna and Jigglypuff had something to do with that battle being successful...’

    ‘Was that so hard?’ asked Anna, ‘Now what do you say?’

    ‘Thank you,’ said Max quietly.

    Anna leapt over and planted a moist kiss on Max’s cheek.

    ‘Any time, sweetie!’

    Max shuddered, feigning far more disgust than he actually had over being kissed by Anna.

    After some more, lighter training, the group continued their journey towards Violet City and the Ruins of Alph. Bulbasaur and Growlithe were both keen battlers, though each desperate to outdo the other; Squirtle and Aipom were now capable of battling as long as they had each other for moral support; Clefairy and Jigglypuff’s battling techniques had hardly improved throughout their training, but none of the group seemed particularly concerned by this.

    After a quick stop off at Violet City for even more supplies, the group headed further South towards the Ruins of Alph, though they were unsure what to expect. The Pokémon were all returned to their Poké Balls in order to reduce the chances of them being detected. They wandered around the area aimlessly, keeping an eye out for anything that might be suspicious. They didn’t enter the ruins themselves though, as they decided it would be better to get an idea of the surrounding area first, just in case things went wrong. That was what they said anyway, in actual fact, their reasons for delaying their entrance into the ruins was anxiety. It wasn’t long before they heard a furious voice.

    ‘Hey! You! Stop right there!’

    Max and Frankie immediately recognised this as the voice of Chubby, the largest member of the gang who had stolen their Pokémon from them. Undoubtedly, this meant they were in the right place, but it also meant they were in trouble. They tried to run but both of them found themselves rooted to the spot. Anna and Becky, assuming the voice to have come from a police officer, or some other figure of authority, simply stopped still, only mildly concerned. Of course, as soon as Chubby came into view they realised they were in trouble. It was obvious from the obese teen’s stained jogging suit, still unchanged from when Will, Max, and Frankie had been attacked, that he was not an official of any kind. Both of them let out screams the second they saw him. The rotund teen’s face contorted in anger.

    ‘Shut it!’ he shouted.

    Anna and Becky were stunned into silence.

    ‘You!’ said Max angrily, ‘Give us back our Pokémon!’

    Chubby laughed heartily.

    ‘That’s funny, kid. Yeah, that’s not up to me and even if it were, you wouldn’t be getting ‘em back. Now usually I’d tell you to get lost and scare you away and all that, but since it’s you, I gotta catch you, and let Spike know you’re here.’

    An image of the violent, red haired teen who had had his Poliwrath throw Will against a wall was conjured into Max’s mind as soon as his name was mentioned. He shuddered.

    ‘Now, girls,’ continued Chubby, ‘I don’t know who you are, so I’m gonna give you one chance to run away, okay? That chance is right now, so get lost or you’re part of this.’

    ‘We’re not abandoning our friends!’ said Anna.

    Chubby laughed again.

    ‘Your funeral!’

    He then grabbed a Poké Ball from his belt, and threw it towards the group. It exploded to reveal an enormous, misshapen creature made entirely out of a purple sludge that was revolting in both appearance and odour. Max had never seen one in real life before, but he recognised it from TV as a Muk. Max grabbed his own two Poké Balls from his belt, and threw them forwards. Anna, Becky, and Frankie followed suit. Bulbasaur and Growlithe immediately ran towards the Poison type Pokémon, each trying to beat the other one there. The other four Pokémon stood back. Jigglypuff and Clefairy hugged each other for support. Squirtle and Aipom did the same.

    ‘Trap them,’ commanded Chubby casually.

    As Bulbasaur and Growlithe approached, more concerned with outdoing each other than attacking their opponent, Muk reached out its disgusting, sludgy arms and grabbed both of them. In spite of their ferocious struggling, the smaller Pokémon were unable to resist as Muk deposited them into its own body, trapping them in the sludge, where they were almost completely unable to move. Growlithe let out a few small flames, but with its head forcibly angled away from its captor, they were useless.

    ‘Now the rest of them,’ ordered Chubby.

    ‘Squirtle, Water Gun! Aipom, Fury Swipes!’

    ‘Clefairy, Metronome!’

    ‘Jigglypuff, get in close, and use Sing!’

    Frankie, Anna, and Becky’s Pokémon burst into action. Squirtle and Aipom ran bravely hand in hand towards the larger Pokémon, with Jigglypuff and Clefairy running similarly behind them. Muk’s first move was to hurl a blob of gunk towards Jigglypuff. The purple sludge hit the small pink Pokémon directly in the mouth with such a force that it was catapulted backwards.

    ‘Jigglypuff!’ cried out Anna in distress, running to her Pokémon, and picking it up.

    The other three Pokémon met the same fate as Bulbasaur and Growlithe. The four children were terrified, but stood their ground, adamant that they would not abandon their Pokémon. Anna held Jigglypuff like a baby as it projectile vomited purple sludge on to the ground nearby.

    ‘The brats too,’ said Chubby casually.

    Muk stormed towards the group, the five Pokémon being jostled around in its sludge, but getting no extra freedom to move as a result. Max, Frankie, Anna, and Becky, now caring only for their own safety, ran wildly around the area, but were too slow for Muk, who managed to not only catch up with them, but trap them in its sludge, alongside their Pokémon. Chubby gave a lengthy chuckle seeing the four of them completely unable to move.

    ‘I bet you’re regretting sticking around now, aren’t you, girls?’ said Chubby with a smile.

    No one responded. Max wanted to say something, but was too scared. He expected the others felt similarly.

    ‘Well, I suppose I’d better call Spike and let him know I caught you guys,’ said Chubby to himself.

    Chubby then proceeded to remove an expensive Pokégear from his pocket, dial a number, and hold it to his ear. He waited silently for a few seconds before speaking.

    ‘Hey. Yeah, you’re right... No, no, better than that. Guess who I just found? ... Not quite that good, I’m afraid... The two younger ones... Nah, they’re in Muk. There were two girls with ‘em. I got them too... I don’t know, thirteen, fourteen? Hang on, I’ll ask them.’

    Chubby fumbled with the Pokégear for a moment and turned to the group.

    ‘Girls, Mr. Spike wants to know how old you are. So, yeah, how old are you?’

    The question was responded to with silence.

    ‘I asked you a fucking question! You gonna respond or what? Jesus Christ!’

    ‘I’m fourteen and Becky’s twelve,’ answered Anna quickly.

    ‘Was that so fucking hard?’ snapped Chubby, before bringing his Pokégear back to his ear, ‘Yeah, you hear that? ... Fourteen and twelve... Alright... Ha, of course. You think I’m gonna tell King before I tell you? When’s the last time I went to that prick before you about anything? ... Alright, see you in a bit.’

    Chubby shut off his Pokégear, and returned it to his pocket.

    ‘Mr. Spike’s on his way. He wants to see all of you,’ said Chubby with a smile, ‘Now I suggest you show him some fucking respect when he gets here. This is an important man. None of this silent treatment, you got that?’

    There was silence again.

    ‘Oh for fuck’s sake! I said do you fucking got that?’

    Max, Frankie, Anna, and Becky all mumbled that they understood.

    ‘Alright. Now he won’t be long since he’s only inside but we’re gonna have to wait for a little bit. So... My name’s not important but you can call me “Chubby”. You care to introduce yourselves?’

    Max opened his mouth to say something clever but was immediately shut up.

    ‘Hey, hot shot, you ever heard of “ladies first”? Where’s your fucking manners?’

    Max was overwhelmed by an urge to snap back at Chubby but was too scared. Chubby began talking again.

    ‘You, fourteen. What’s your name?’

    Anna took a deep breath in and managed to muster the strength to talk, desperate to avoid having the disgusting man scream at her again.

    ‘I’m Anna.’

    ‘Right, okay, and your sister’s name is Betty, isn’t it?’

    ‘My cousin’s name is Becky.’

    ‘Ain’t that what I said? You should learn to listen more carefully, Annie baby. Alright, boys, now it’s your turn. Now everybody knows you’re Will Wynne’s little brothers but what’re your actual names? Short stuff, it’s Matt, isn’t it? And sorry, shrimpy, but I don’t know your name at all.’

    Max didn’t bother to correct Chubby.

    ‘It’s Frankie,’ said Frankie.

    Chubby nodded.

    ‘Alright, so I’ve got Annie, Betty, Matt, and Funky. Got it.’

    Chubby appeared to be about to say something else when another teen walked up behind him. Max remembered that his name was Spike. He looked largely the same as before, still wearing a white vest and jeans, and still bearing a red Mohican. This time, though, a smug smile adorned his face.

    ‘Well, well, well, what do we have here?’ he said proudly.

    ‘Fuck you!’ shouted Max, his anger overtaking his fear upon the sight of the man who had had his Poliwrath throw Will against the wall, breaking his nose.

    A look of fury entered Spike’s eyes. He slowly walked towards Max, who was still stuck in Chubby’s Muk.

    ‘Hey, Can’t Wynne, if I were you, I’d be careful what I said when I was completely and utterly fucking incapacitated. Wouldn’t you, Chubby?’

    ‘I would,’ said Chubby.

    ‘That’s fucking right because when you’re totally at someone’s fucking mercy, the last thing you wanna do is piss ‘em off, isn’t it?’

    Spike raised his right hand, which possessed a solitary gold ring, and hurled the back of it across Max’s face. Max could immediately feel the bruising. All four of them screamed in shock at the brutality of the act. Max bit his tongue to hold back the tears.

    ‘Anyone else got something they wanna share with the class?’

    Spike stood silently for a moment, furiously eyeing up each of them in turn.

    ‘That’s what I fucking thought.’

    Spike strode back and forth in front of the group for a few moments. He stopped in front of Anna, roughly grabbing her cheeks in one hand.

    ‘Hey sweetheart, what’s your name?’

    ‘It’s Annie,’ said Chubby.

    ‘Did I ask you, Chubby?’ said Spike aggressively, without taking his eyes off Anna.

    ‘No, sorry.’

    ‘Right, so shut the fuck up until I ask you, okay? Is that so difficult?’

    Spike paused for a moment. When he was sure no response was coming from Chubby, he turned his attention back to Anna.

    ‘So, what’s your name?’

    ‘Anna,’ she said, wincing in pain, but too scared to do anything but comply.

    ‘Anna, huh? Well, Anna, today’s your fucking lucky day. Under normal circumstances, all four of you would be coming back with me, and you’d all be in for a right fucking treat, especially you, sweet cheeks. Fortunately for you, today’s not normal circumstances because I’ve seen a couple of my friends around here looking for you. Friends who I don’t want anywhere near here or finding out where we might be going over the next couple of days.’

    ‘What are you talking about?’ asked Chubby.

    Spike turned around quickly, letting go of Anna’s face. Chubby flinched, expecting to be told off, but Spike smiled as he continued talking.

    ‘Oh, you know these friends too, Chubby. Our two black clad friends, know who I mean?’

    Chubby stared at Spike blankly. Spike sighed and continued.

    ‘Ride around on a Rapidash and a Dodrio. You get who it is?’

    Chubby slowly shook his head. Spike sighed again.

    ‘I’m talking about Hunters X and Y. Were those clues so fucking cryptic?’

    ‘Oh! Wait, they’re after these guys? Why?’

    ‘Beats me but they definitely are and the last thing we need them is snooping around this place. Especially with the special trip to Ecruteak Dance Theatre we’ll be making tomorrow, right?’

    ‘Woah, Spike! You know we’re not meant to talk about that! King will kill you!’

    ‘Will he, Chubby? We’ll see about that. Anyway, kids, the long and short of it is that I’m letting you go. It’s a shame really. You all look like you’d have been fun. Now there’s one rule that I need you to abide by first, and it’s very, very important. You listening?’

    The group were silent.

    ‘Mr. Spike asked you a fucking question!’ shouted Chubby from behind Spike.

    There were murmurs of acceptance from the four of them.

    ‘Right,’ continued Spike, ‘My one rule is that you don’t come anywhere fucking near here, you got that? You kids are way out of your depth. If I see you around here again,’ he stopped to point at Max’s bruised eye at this point, ‘There’s gonna be plenty more where that came from, you got me?’

    The group murmured their acceptance again.

    ‘Alright, let ‘em go, Chubby.’

  12. #42
    Zeb
    Zeb is offline
    five times in the mirror Zeb's Avatar Deputy Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    I finally caught up! I really like the dynamics of the two different groups. It's interesting that Chubby and Spike don't like King and are doing their own thing, yet are part of his little gang for some reason, so I'm really intrigued where that's heading. And Will is becoming a very mysterious character!

    Aipom and Squirtle being all adorable was a cute moment XD

    Good work, GaMa!

    You can add me to your tag list, if you like :P
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  13. #43
    The First Homunculus Pride's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    Whoo, finished reading both chapters. Joint review time.

    Both chapters were good as usual :D. I didn't really see anything wrong. It was pretty good. I think Chapter 5 seemed kinda rushed though, that could just be me. Chapter 6 was really really awesome. I loved it :).

    Overall, it was awesome. Can't wait to keep reading.

  14. #44
    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    I really have to wonder what Will did to piss these people off.

  15. #45
    The Dimension Wizard Flaze's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Brotherhood

    The chapters were pretty good. Like I told you on skype chapter 5 felt a bit slow for me, while we got a lot of development for both Max and Frankie it didn't really help move the plot as much.

    Chapter 6 I liked more though, it allowed us to get to know Anna and Becky more plus it left us some foreshadowing at the end with the mention of the hunters. Now these hunters are they like the Hunter J that was introduced in the anime?

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