MATURE: Behind Closed Doors
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  1. #1
    Something for nothing Cyber Jet's Avatar
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    Default Behind Closed Doors

    Behind Closed Doors

    By: Shirajira

    This has been an idea that has just been wandering thought my head for a while so I am going to make it into a Fan-fic and see how it will work out!

    Anyways so this takes place in the future after Team Plasma has failed to ever find their leader and the remaining members have formed a new team known as Team Darkness. The main characters of the story is Black a boy who grew up in Black City and is about 5 feet and 8 inches tall, has short dark black hair, Green eyes and is looking to stop team darkness. His best friend Keith is also looking to stop Team Darkness too and is about 5 feet and 11 inches tall, has long curly light brown hair and light blue eyes. There will be more as the story goes on but you have to read it to find out what they are like.

    Hope you enjoy the story!
    This story is also on! Click here to read it there!

    Chapter#1- Into Life
    Chapter#2- On The Run
    Last edited by Cyber Jet; 8th May 2011 at 03:51 PM. Reason: Updating

  2. #2
    Something for nothing Cyber Jet's Avatar
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    Default Re: The New World Of 2142

    Chapter#1-Into Life

    The year is 2142 and the world of Pokémon has changed in many ways. No longer are kids roaming free with out worry of being hurt or killed, no longer are Pokémon just used for battling and fun, no longer is the world is such a wonderful and safe place for anyone. The story starts in Black City, nothing much has changed there besides it getting bigger and more populated over time but it just felt darker for most people living there.

    “Time to get out of bed your going to be late!”

    Black’s mother kept on yelling some more at him until he got him self up. Today was going to be just like another day for a 15 year old. Going to school and learning what you need for a job and coming home every day. Black just hated school. His mother wants him to get a good job that pays well and just live a normal life. But Black does not want any of that. There is one thing that Black wants to know about, what the world was like before Team Darkness took over.

    Team Plasma members made Team Darkness after Team Plasma failed to ever find their leader. They took over Unova easily as they where both very smart and very strong thanks to there new leader. Now they owned all Pokémon after making every one release them, They made people do this after fighting a 23 year long war and they won and took over everything as the people where powerless now.

    Now they don’t simply battle with Pokémon for power but they use them as weapons for power and to kill any one they find owning a Pokémon using there own and showed no mercy to others.

    Black had been researching what it was like using a radio station that only people with a certain program in their computers can tune into. He could only use the Internet for this as Team Darkness changed the history books and told people that the world was always like this even before they took over and was checking every where all the time for people trying to find out what the past was like. Any one who would question if the world was not like how they said before they took over would be sent to jail for life and in more extreme cases tortured to death in painful and harsh ways.

    Black had found out about this Radio Station from a friend named Keith. Both he and him would tune in when skipping classes and on the weekends.

    Black got dressed and went out the door and walked into the crowed and shady streets of the city. He walked along seeing mostly people running to work and heard all the noises that seemed to come from every thing around him. He got to Keith’s house and started walking to school with him.

    “So when should we go down to the abandoned factory to tune in to day” Said Black

    “Yes sounds good I herd there going to announce something big today”

    “Ok so we will sneak out at 11AM and get some food at Joey’s Burgers House and then head there after as the show starts at 11:45 AM”

    The two boys kept on walking along the dark streets to school talking about the show and what they would hear today.

    At school Black and Keith did the same thing they did every day which was sit in the back and talk and goof off until the 11:00 break where they would rush out of the school when no one is looking. Then when it was 11:00 they went out the door and into the streets with no one noticing.

    They rushed thought a few streets bumping into people who where in the streets too and got there food at the burger house and went to the abandoned factory. The factory was abandoned after the company that owned it lost all there money. Both Black and Keith use it as there hide out as no one ever go’s in there and they can escape easy thanks to its large size if any one comes in. It was dusty and quite in they’re unlike most other places in the city which where kept clean and you could never escape the noise.

    They set up the laptop on an old wooden table and opened the program and put on some ear buds.

    “Testing 1,2,3,4… testing” The announcer said. The announcer made and hosted the show and was known as “DJ K”.

    “Hello today we have a major announcement, we have at last been able to get some Pokémon from a friend who sent over some after getting them from a Team Darkness base in west Unova. We are offering these Pokémon for any one who wants to put a stop to Team Darkness and thinks they can. The time has come to make our move and we are looking for brave people to help us out to bring peace to Unova and anywhere else Team Darkness may have power. We have uncovered the real history from old books and people who know about it, we have told people the truth and not the lies of Team Darkness! Now the time is here! We are at the old record shop called “Jet’s Records and Music” on Chuo Street. Just tell the guy there that you are looking for some “Plants and water” and he will know what to do.”

    Keith and Black looked at each other blankly.

    “So what do you think about this Black?”

    There was a long pause before Black spoke.

    “I say that we should check it out. Because maybe we can make a different and maybe we can bring people here out of this hell hole.”

    “Yes you are right Black I think that its time we did something with our lives and made a difference!”

    “Ok let’s go!”

    The two boys walked out of the old factory and went to the record shop. Inside there was no one except a young man at the desk. The record shop was quite and oddly cleaner then most places and had only a little bit of some old rock music playing on a radio in the background.
    “Umm hi there…. we are looking for…. some plants and water.” Said Keith nervously.

    “Ahhh yes we have got those here, they are just in the back room ill show you there.”

    They followed the man into the backroom and the man went back to close the door behind them.

    “I see that you are here for the Pokémon, well I only go two of them left. Both of them are a Pokémon called Eevee.”

    The man then got Two Pokéballs off the desk behind him and sent out the two Pokémon. Both boys looked at the Pokémon for a while.

    “I think we will take them.” Said Black

    The man then sent back the Pokémon in the Pokéballs and handed the two balls to the boys.

    “Now keep these little guys in there and out of sight when in public as I don’t want you two to get caught out there.”

    The two boys walked out of the shop and back into the dark and crowed city streets.

    “I think this is going to be great! Remember those stories about that guy named Red in Kanto who took down those Team Rocket dudes. Maybe we can be like him.” Said Keith.

    “Well Team Rocket never used Pokémon to kill people I think and Team Darkness sounds a lot stronger and stronger then them and this is not just a walk in a park this is taking down a team of strong and smart evil people.”

    “Yes I know that but still I think it will be great to do something with our lives!”

    “Shut up Keith, people might hear us!”

    “Ok fine Black ill chat with you later.”

    Both of them got back to there houses late at night. Black spent all night just looking at his Eevee, he could not see how Team Darkness could treat Pokémon like this so bad. He got very little sleep that night just thinking about what he is going to do and worrying about what might happen. He had never been out side of the city before in his whole life, as Team Darkness did not let people leave the city where they lived in and protected the gates. All thought he had had hear of an under ground passage on the radio a few months before but he had no idea where it was or even if it was real but he had herd stories of people using these passages to get from place to place with no one noticing them.

    Next morning it was Saturday so he did not have to get up early but did any ways, as he wanted to meet up with Keith.

    He rushed out the door around 9:00AM and went to Keith’s house and got him up and went back out to find a good place to talk. They found an ally way where no one was and started to talk there.

    “So Keith how do you think we are going to get outta this city?”

    “I have no idea Black………… You got any ideas?”

    “Well don’t you remember about that under ground passage thing on the radio a few months ago?”

    Behind them was an older and stronger teenager who was walking up behind them. Keith and Black turned around when they saw his shadow and looked in shock.

    “Well looks like I have just found some weak little fuckers”.

    “What the hell are you doing here Jack?” yelled Keith.

    “We I was just walking around here looking for a nice place to have my self a little smoke but looks like I found you little brats here instead!” Jack said while clenching his fists. Jack was basically the school bully and beat the shit out of any one he found no one knows why he does it but he just does it.

    Black and Keith started to run and Jack followed behind them. They ran a few blocks before getting to where the old Pokémon Center was. It was abandoned long ago, as people had no Pokémon so they had no use for it. They cracked open the glass door and ran and try to hide in side. Jack walked in side and started looking around for them.

    “So you little bitches think you can play a game of hide and seek well when I find you little punks, I’m going to splatter your heads on the walls here!”

    Black and Keith where frozen with fear but then Black remembered something.

    “Keith we got Pokémon, we can take out this jerk with them.” He said quietly.

    They both got out from there hiding place behind the bookshelf.

    “Ahhh so it looks like the little brats are going to try to get me at my own game now, well come at me bro!”

    Keith and Black both reached into there back packs and pulled out the Pokéballs and sent out there Pokémon.

    “What the fuck are those?! Are…. those…Pokémon?!?!” Jack said in shock.

    “Yes they are motherfucker and now we shall play your little game!” said Keith

    “Now Eevee attack!” Called Black.

    Keith also ordered his Eevee to attack and they both charged at Jack and started to bite and scratch him.

    “Ahhhhh fuck get these things off me………help me ill leave you alone!” Jack said while his face was covered with blood and cuts from the Eevee’s attacks. Black and Keith did nothing and just watched as their Pokémon tarring apart Jack’s face and body. Jack had blood all over his face and cloths and Black and Keith could see tears running down his face.

    “Ok Eevee stop attacking!” yelled Black.

    He then fell on the floor and into the puddle of blood and Black and Keith walked up to him.

    “Why did you guys stop, I thought you would let those things kill me.” Said Jack.

    “Because killing someone is going to far.” Said Black.

    “All we want you to do now is just get the hell away from us and stop bugging us you prick.” Said Keith slowly.

    “Fine” Jack said and then he got him self up slowly and walked out the door.

    “Ok now that he is gone we can talk.” Said Black.

    “Well all we need to know is where this passage is and how do we get there.”

    “Do you know any one that has a idea where the hell this thing is?” yelled Black.

    “I do!” A man yelled behind them.

    Black and Keith turned around and saw a tall man in a black coat and with wild gray hair.

    “Who are you?” Keith said.

    “I am Kirk Rajio or also known as DJ K!” the man yelled.

    Both Black and Keith gasped with shock.

    “Well I am Black Bajon and this is Keith Richazu and we are huge fans of your radio program.”

    “Well this is where I do the show at as no one ever comes here and I also live here but are you two interested in any thing?”

    “Well we need to find the under ground passage that you talked about a few months ago” said Keith.

    “Is it because you want to stop Team Darkness or something?”

    “Ummm yes.” Said Keith

    “Ohhhh you two must be the two young guys who took the Pokémon at the record shop!” DJ K said in shock.

    “Yes and we just need to know where the passage is.”

    “Great come into my room down here, it was the union room or something like that when people used this place back in the old days.”

    Black and Keith followed DJ K down to his room.
    DJ K got out a map and started drawing on it with a pen.

    “Here is a map to it and when you get there just tell the person this code, God Stone.”

    “Ok and will we be able to tune in out side this city?” asked Black

    “Yes you can tune into here pretty much any where in Unova.”

    “Thanks a lot!”

    “Good luck” DJ K said while waving goodbye.

    Black and Keith went up to Black’s house and into his room.

    They looked at the map for a bit.

    “So looks like it’s at the old subway station down on Tororingu Street and it says to tell the person in white with a colorful badge the code.” Said Black.

    They went to the old subway station with not too many people where there, just a few young men reading newspapers.

    They walked up to a man in white with the badge standing behind a large door.

    “Ummmm hello yes we……………… uhhhh well ok ill just say it… God Stone.” Said Black Nervously.

    “Enter!” The man said and then he opened the door and let them in.

    Inside the room was an even older sub way station with walls made of gray stones and metal floors. There was a man in blue by an old looking white subway train.
    They walked up to the man in blue by the train.

    “Would you like to take a ride on the Underground Railroad here?” He asked.

    “Why yes both of us will.” Said Black

    “Well climb on and the train will leave in a short time.”

    Both boys got on the train and sat down on one of the old brown seats by a window.

    “Damn this is just so great I can’t wait to see what will happen,” said Black

    “Me too Black, me too.”

    The train then started to move and go into the dark tunnel.

    They just sat there for a while until they heard a bang on the door at the front of the car. Black walked up to open it to see what it was. Before he got to the door someone at the other side opened it. Black and Keith both hid behind their seat and looked over to see who it was.

    “Hello………any one in here?”

    Black and Keith looked over top of there seats to see who it was. They saw it was a girl who looked to be around the same age of them, same high as Black, had dark brown eyes and wearing a green coat and brown hair. Black then got out from behind his seat.

    “Hi I am Black and that’s my friend Keith hiding behind the seat over there.”

    “Ohh hi my name is Jazz.”

    “Well nice to meet you and by the way what are you doing here?”

    “Well I went here as I wanted to explore the world out side the city.”

    “Oh well we are here to try and stop Team Darkness.” Said Keith.

    “Well I hate those Team Darkness guys after I heard about them on that radio show with that DJ K guy and then I got a Pokémon from some guy who saved some from Team Darkness.”

    She then reached into her bag and pulled out a Pokéball and sent out her Pokémon.

    “I have a Larvesta and I named it Taiyo.”

    “Well that’s cool!” said Black while looking at her Pokémon closely.

    “I think it’s just so cute but it is pretty powerful with its fire attacks!” said Jazz.

    “So how did you get it?”

    “Well I was in the city I use to live in and was about to escape from it and there was a man who walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to have a Pokémon. I said yes to him and he gave me this egg and walked off, then soon the egg that hatched in Taiyo.”

    “Oh wow, well both me and Keith got a Pokémon called Eevee.”

    Black and Keith both sent out there Eevee to show to Jazz.

    “Awwwww it’s so cute but it also looks pretty hungry!”

    Jazz then got out a few berries and fed them to the two boy’s Pokémon.

    “Hey so you guys going to travel all across Unova to stop those guys?” asked Jazz.

    “Well I think we will.” Said Keith

    “Ohhh cool so do you maybe think I could tag along with you guys or something?” asked Jazz.

    “Well I don’t see why not.” Said Black.

    The train then started to stop.

    “Well we are getting off here so if you are coming along you should get off here too.” Said Black.

    Jazz nodded her head and followed Black and Keith off the train.

    The station they where at was empty and quite and there was only a staircase there and a few seats in a corner. They all went up the stair and found a small dark room with a door. They opened the door and found it was made to look like a rock on the out side to hide it. They each went out slowly.

    “Wow its hot and bright here!” said Keith.

    They where at the Desert Resort and could see all around that it was hot and dry.
    They took a deep breath of the clean but dusty air but it still felt so pure compared to the dry air of the city.

    “Well now what do we do?” Asked Keith.

    “I think we will find out soon.” Said Black.

    And then the trio walked out into the vast and dry desert.
    Last edited by Cyber Jet; 4th May 2011 at 09:04 PM.

  3. #3
    Something for nothing Cyber Jet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Behind Closed Doors

    Chapter #2- On The Run

    The trio had been walking thought the sandy dry desert for a long time and had no luck on finding any way out.

    “Arrrrrrrgggggggg why does it have to be so hot out here!” yelled Keith.

    “Shut up, we will get out of here as soon as we can.” Said Black

    “Hey guys look over there!” Jazz said while pointing to the right.

    Every one turned their heads to where she was pointing.

    “What are those?” said Black in wonder.

    “They look like large blue rocks or something, lets check them out!” said Jazz.

    Everybody ran up to the rocks and checked them out.

    “Hey these are not rocks!” said Black.

    “I think they are Pokémon.” Said Keith.

    “Forget them I don’t think they will ever move or anything but check out this!” Black said while pointing down a staircase.

    “Maybe we can find some food in there!” said Keith

    The trio went down the staircase and found a large hall with sand covered floor and tall stonewalls.

    “Wow this place is amazing!” said Black while looking around.

    “I have never even dreamed I would end up in a place like this!” said Jazz

    “Hey Black and Jazz I wonder if there is some sort of treasure in here?”

    “Well Keith I am just happy to be out of the sun so we might as well explore this place.”

    The trio went down the halls of the ruins. It was strangely quite in there the whole time. They found a quicksand pit after about five minutes of walking around.

    “You guys think we should go down this?”

    “Well I don’t see any other way Jazz.” Said Keith
    Keith then jumped into the quicksand pit and went down it.

    “Are you ok Keith!?” call out Black.

    “I’m fine Black, the fall is not that high so you guys should come down here!”

    Black then ran into the pit and went down it and Jazz followed behind him.

    “Well should we keep on going deeper down here or take those stairs back up to the first floor?” asked Keith.

    “I think we should go check more of this place and go deeper down into it.” Said Jazz.

    The trio found another quicksand pit and went down it. After a few hours of going deeper down thought quicksand they got to the bottom where there was a massive hall with huge hills of sand in it.

    “Wow I have never seen any thing like this in my life!” said Jazz while running around and checking out the hall. They looked around climbing the hills of sand that filled the hall and looking at the walls that had pictures of events of the past carved into them.

    “Check out this guys.” Said Black.

    “What is it?” called out Keith.

    Keith ran up to Black while Jazz kept on looking around on her own.

    “Look at all this strange writing and all the strange pictures.” Said Black.

    “Like this one it has a guy with three dragon like Pokémon!”

    They both looked at the picture and the text under it said “.-.. .- -. -.-. . / .. ... / .- / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / -.-. .... . .- - . .-. / .-- .. - .... / .... .. ... / ..- -. -.. . .-. .-.. . ...- . .-.. . -.. / .--. --- -.- . -- --- -. -.-.—“

    “I wonder what the heck that means?” said Keith.

    “Look at this!” said Black pointing to another picture.

    “Wow I wonder what this is about.” Said Keith.

    The picture looked like a guy with long hair and another guy standing in a room. Behind them they both had two massive Pokémon. It had no text around it.

    “It looks like something big and important!” said Black.
    “Yes I think it was.”

    “Hey guys I found a way out of this hall!” yelled Jazz.

    The two boys found where she was and saw a massive tunnel with golden bricks on the walls. They went in to the tunnel and they followed it until they ended up in a large room with a massive painting of a bug like Pokémon on the wall in front of them and two jugs with ancient looking text on them and also it had some large wooden boxes on the left side of the room. Then they all heard a loud bang from behind the painting and hid behind the boxes to be safe.

    Then the painting opened like a door and two men in black suit with “TD” in red on the front of it. There was a long hallway behind the door.

    “I thought I heard something out here!” said the first man.

    “Who the hell would be out here anyways?”

    “Well its better to be safe then sorry because remember when some little brats trashed the base near Victory Road?”

    “Good point but there looks like there is not anything in here.”

    “Fine let’s head back inside.”

    The two Team Darkness members walked back inside but they did not shut the door. So after some waiting the trio went out from their hiding places and into the hallway. It was cool and bright due to the huge amount of lights and all the walls where made from metal. They walked down it until they got to the end of the hall where there was two doors on the left and right. Both of them where open.

    They went inside the left one that had a short hallway leading to a large room. But when they entered the room they where shocked at what they saw.

    They saw that every where there where cages with Pokémon in them. But these Pokémon where not normal, they where deformed and mutated. Some had parts from other Pokémon on them and some looked oddly human. They saw that in the back of the room where large tanks with what looked like both human and Pokémon fetuses suspended in a green liquid in them. One each tank was a label, each human fetus had a label on their tanks with what looked like a name such as “Billy H” or “Al P” on them. On each tank with a Pokémon fetus was just what looked like random numbers and letters on the label such as “178 WC”. Then they heard a voice behind them.

    “Hey you guys!”

    They looked around but saw nothing.
    They heard it again and saw an Electabuzz with an oddly human like head and arms jumping up and down in its cage.

    They went up to it.

    “Hey can you guys let me out?” said the Electabuzz.

    They looked at it in shock.

    “How are you talking?” said Keith.

    “I don’t know I could always talk even when I was a baby and all the other Pokémon can so is there a problem?”

    “Ummmm Pokémon do not normally talk.”

    “Huh well that’s strange but could you just get me out of this damn cage!”

    “Wait how did you learn to speak English?” asked Black

    “The master taught me just like everyone else in here!”

    “Who is the master?”

    “Well I don’t know, he is just tall and wears dark cloths.”

    “Ok wait we can talk about your master later, so how can we get you out of here?” asked Jazz

    “Well see that control board, just find the key one top of it and open this lock!
    Said the Electabuzz while pointing to it.

    Jazz went up to the control board, found the key and unlocked Electabuzz’s cage. Then Electabuzz walked out of it.


    “Ahhhhh very well done you three!” said a strange flat voice.

    “Who are you and where are you!?” yelled out Black.

    “Iv been watching you thought a camera and see that you have gotten 125 C.Q out of its cage.”

    “Well we still don’t know who you are!?” yelled out Black

    “Well I am Darkness Admin Kagayaku and I am the one in control of this base and the master to these Pokémon.”

    “Well what have you been doing with all these Pokémon and the fetuses?!” Yelled Keith.

    “I cannot inform you of what we have been doing with them, now I will send in some grunts to take care of you…………. goodbye.”

    Then the trio heard loud footsteps coming from the hallway and three grunts came into the room.

    “So you little brats are thinking of releasing the Pokémon?” said one of the grunts.

    “We will take good care of you once we are done with you and maybe you’re children might be in one of these cages.”

    “What the hell, we don’t have any children you freak!” yelled Jazz sounding very angry.

    “Well you will once we are done with you!”

    “Your going to fucking rape her?!” yelled Black.

    “Oh no we are not going to rape her, but we will still get some babies off all three of you!”

    “Now lets just get this over with and catch the damn kids!” yelled the third grunt that had not spoken yet.

    The grunts then all took out large knifes and held them up.

    “So we can do this one way where you just come here to us and no one gets hurt or we could do it the other way where we cut you up a bit and still get you!”

    Then Keith, Black and Jazz all sent out all their Pokémon.

    “So now who is the one with the power!” said Black.

    But then before anyone attacked a large thunder blot hit all three of the grunts and knocked them out.

    “Where the hell did that come from?” said Jazz.

    “Well you think I was going to let those guys hurt you?” said Electabuzz.

    “Thanks and you can come with us and we will get you out of here!” said Black.

    They all ran thought the door and into the door in front of them. It was another hallway with a stairway leading downwards. They all went down the stairs until they found another hallway. But this one had a glass wall on the side of it and behind the glass was just shocking. It showed Team Darkness members taking parts of dead bodies and doing surgery on people that where still awake. They saw as a Team Darkness member cut open a man’s leg.

    “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MMMMYYYYYY GGGGOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!” Screamed the man as the blade went deeper and deeper in.

    They could not watch any longer and ran thought the hallway but then behind the glass wall showed another room and they all looked inside.

    There where people of all ages on tables. They saw them doing medical experiments on them such as one Team Darkness member injecting a colored liquid thought a needle into a little boy’s eye while he was awake and tied down so he could not move. They saw the boy screamed and cried and begged for his mom. But the Team Darkness member just laughed and told him that his mother was dead and he would be with her soon. They walked and looked into the next room that had people who where being killed by shutting them behind a closed door with no way out of a small room and releasing toxic gases into the room to slowly kill them.

    Jazz could not just take it any more to watch any of this. Jazz was covering her eyes and crying at what she saw and Keith and Black where all most in tear and just could not take it any more. Then behind them they heard a voice.

    “Well looks like you seen what we do here.” Said a tall, old man with dark cloths, thin gray hair and a flat voice.

    “What the hell are you doing to these people you sick bastard!?” yelled Jazz.

    “Well I am Darkness Admin Kagayaku and I run this base!”

    “Well you wont be running this place any more!” Black yelled.

    Black charged at the Kagayaku and was ready to tackle and beat him to the ground until he was stopped.

    “As you can see young man I am never alone.”

    Black was being held by the arms by two grunts. He tried to kick them but it was no use until…


    Electabuzz shot a powerful lighting blot at the grunts and knocked them out cold. Black got free and went back to his friends.

    “So looks like this Pokémon has taken a liking to you three.”

    “Damn right I like these kids! But I thought you where good master!” said Electabuzz.

    “No you where just like all those other mindless Pokémon and I never cared about any of you. But wait you are not even a Pokémon, you are haft human and haft Pokémon!”

    “You sick freak, you have been killing and torturing people and then making things like this!” said Keith.

    “I see you are quite smart for your age, yes we take people away who we arrest and send them here or any of our other three bases.”

    “But why the hell is there children here too?” yelled Jazz.

    “Well they try to question us and we deal with them.”

    “The way you are dealing with these people is just sick and wrong!”

    “Well we need more power, so we use the people we arrest to make new members for our team that are human, Pokémon or maybe a mix of both.”

    “You fucking son of a bitch now you’re going to get it, Electabuzz attack with full power!” Yelled Black.

    Electabuzz charged up electric energy and fired a massive lighting bolt at Kagayaku.
    But a he got out a small flat looking device that made a force field around him that absorbed the lighting blot.

    “I saw that coming and you think that I have nothing to defend my self?”

    “Damn it!” yelled Keith.

    “Now I will have to take you like brats away!”

    “No please don’t we will do anything!” screamed Jazz.
    Behind him was a Team Darkness member with a knife.

    “I will have you all killed right here!”

    The Team Darkness member with a black hood that was covering his face was behind Kagayaku but then he slashed him right in the back and stabbed him.

    “AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!!!!!” Screamed Kagayaku with blood flowing from his back.

    “My real job you sick pig!” said the Team Darkness member.

    Kagayaku then feel on the floor and into the puddle of blood and died.

    The trio and Electabuzz where looking at the member in shock.

    “Why… just why did you kill a Admin of your own team…” said Keith in shock of what just happened.

    “That sick bastard is not my boss in anyway and I don’t work for him.”

    “Well you’re a member of Team Darkness..”

    “No I tricked them into thinking ill work for them as I thought what they where doing was sick and wrong.”

    “Well ok could we know some more about you?” said Jazz.

    The member took off his hood and showed that he was around 27 years old and had short light brown hair and pale skin.

    “Ok my name is Modoru Kiri and my job here was to keep the base safe but instead I let people who did not like Team Darkness in.”

    “So that is why all the doors where open!” said Black.

    “Yes I kept the base fully opened for you.”

    “Wait how did no one notice?” said Jazz.

    “I just said that the system glitched up when ever they questioned me about it and they believed it as I damaged the system my self to make it look like a real glitch.”

    “Ahh smart ideas you have there.” Said Keith

    “Thanks, well so this was the first time I found Kagayaku out of his room in a place where I could kill him and so I did and now I need to do one final thing.”

    “What would that be?”

    “Destroy this whole base using a bomb I have been making.”

    “Wait but you will kill many people in here!” said Jazz.

    “Nope now that Kagayaku is dead I can give orders for the members to release all the people saying that where are shipping them to another base.”

    “Ok then…. I still don’t get how the hell this will work.” Said Black.

    “Come to my room and I will show you.”

    They all walked down the hallway and up some stairs till they found a door. Modoru then opened the door and they all went into the room. The room was well lit and there where screens showing what was on the video cameras thought out the base. In the left of the room was a bed and small kitchen with some chairs.

    “Well this is where I stay and work so you guys could have a seat.”

    Black, Keith, Jazz and Electabuzz all sat down.

    “Ok so in a hidden room here is where I have been building and keeping the bomb in. It is how ever not a time bomb so someone will have to stay behind and blow it up…..”

    Everyone feel silent in the room until….

    “Ill do it.” Said Electabuzz.

    “Are you sure you want to go thought with it….” Said Jazz.

    “Yes, if it makes things better for everyone then ill do it as I want to see these fucking assholes die and burn!”

    “But you will die…….”

    “I know but I have nothing much to live for as I have lived in a cage for years and been beaten and abused by Team Darkness and I want to help you guys end them and this is the best thing I could do.”

    “Ok….” Said Jazz.

    “Ok so now I can use the intercom and tell the members to load everyone here into trucks that they thing will ship them to another base but will instead ship them to a city and let them go free.”

    “Who is driving the trucks?” said Black.

    “A friend of mine called Lev and another named Cube who has helped me and wants to stop Team Darkness too and they know the plan.”

    “Ok good so now lets get on to it and you guys should run out side the base and ruins so you don’t get hurt.”

    “Will do and thanks.” Said Jazz.

    The trio made there way out of the base and out of the ruins until they where back in the desert and then sat down on some rocks to eat some food and rest.

    [Inside the base]

    “Ok Electabuzz here is the room.”

    The two entered a room that was hidden behind a wall in Modoru’s room and he showed them the bomb.

    “Ok so ill give you this radio and when I “Do it” when the base is ready to be blown up.”

    “Got that Modoru.” Said Electabuzz.

    “So just press this large green button to blow it up.”


    Modoru left the room and shut the hidden door. He got to his desk with all the screens and then spoke thought the microphone on his desk.

    “Ok every body I have gotten orders from the boss to ship all the prisoners here into trucks at loading ramps number 1 and 9. This is because we are getting another large load of prisoners and need the room.”

    He watched the screens as he saw grunts releasing and loading the prisoners into the massive yellow trucks. About 2 hours later he could see no prisoners anywhere. He then picked up his radio and started to talk to Lev and Cube.

    “Ok start shipping them to Nimbasa City we are all good.”

    “Got that!” said Lev.

    “Ok!” said Cube.

    Then Modoru packed his radio and walked thought a long hallway and up a lot of stairs until he got to ramp number 9. The ramp was over top a river and the truck was on a road built over it. The truck was about 250 feet tall and had a massive storage area in the back to keep people in. He then radioed Cube.

    “All right I am ready to come into the cockpit!”

    “Ok got that Ill open the doors!”

    The door to his right opened and he walked thought a long hallway and into the cockpit of the truck. Inside it was high up and filled with buttons and switches.

    “All right Cube lets go.”

    Cube then turned on the truck and then it started to move along the road to Numbasa City. He radioed the other truck and told Lev to start driving.

    After a while the trucks where far away from the base and Modoru radioed Electabuzz.

    “Ok we are safe from the base and do it!”

    Electabuzz then put down his radio and looked at the button.

    “Yippee ki-yay mother fuckers!” he said.

    Then he pushed the button.

    [In the desert with Jazz, Black and Keith]

    The trio had now found a road in the desert and had been following it for a while. Then the ground started to shake and they heard a massive loud bang. Then they looked behind them and saw a massive amount of sand and dirt come up and rain down on them.

    “He did a good thing.” Said Black.

    “Yes he did he helped everyone for the better.” Said Keith.

    “Ill miss Electabuzz but what he did was great.”

    The trio kept on walking along the long and sandy road.

  4. #4
    Just Browsing Around Akimbo's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
    The Land of Continuous Rain
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    Default Re: Behind Closed Doors

    ok well, there were a lot of spelling and grammatical errors throughout the fic, including were instead of where and things like that

    also some of the dialogue seemed a little forced, it just didn't sound natural
    also the guy from the music shop and DJ K seemed too trustworthy to be in part of a rebellion

    the plot for the story is good, just some things don't work, the characters aren't very believable and you keep switching between narrating the story and describing the setting its a little confusing

  5. #5
    Something for nothing Cyber Jet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Behind Closed Doors

    Quote Originally Posted by isac View Post
    ok well, there were a lot of spelling and grammatical errors throughout the fic, including were instead of where and things like that

    also some of the dialogue seemed a little forced, it just didn't sound natural
    also the guy from the music shop and DJ K seemed too trustworthy to be in part of a rebellion

    the plot for the story is good, just some things don't work, the characters aren't very believable and you keep switching between narrating the story and describing the setting its a little confusing
    Thank you Ill check over the fic and see if I can spot the errors but Ill try to make the characters better next chapter (well I can't fix that now ).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Cape Coral, FL
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    Default Re: Behind Closed Doors

    Quote Originally Posted by isac View Post
    ok well, there were a lot of spelling and grammatical errors throughout the fic, including were instead of where and things like that

    also some of the dialogue seemed a little forced, it just didn't sound natural
    also the guy from the music shop and DJ K seemed too trustworthy to be in part of a rebellion

    the plot for the story is good, just some things don't work, the characters aren't very believable and you keep switching between narrating the story and describing the setting its a little confusing
    isac took the words right outta my mouth...well most of em'.
    You've really improved from the first copy of chapter one, bro, you've improved greatly!^^
    But, like isac stated you have spelling errors and you tend to move the events along to fast.
    As I've said before, you have a really, REALLY creative mind and plot goin' on, just pleez take yer time and don't try and rush things through, bro.
    This seems like(with a few tweeks) this fanfic could become very amazing, engaging, and deserved to be called a REAL STORY!XD
    GOOD JOB, bro!


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