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  1. #1
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    Default Ash's New Goal

    Advanceshipping, AshxMay, AaMayL, SatoshixHaruka. That's all the different names I know, oh, and MAsh. Well, this is a story after Ash's journey through Unova, but I'll leave that to the opener. It also involves VineShipping, Squirtshipping, HyperNyaaShipping, WeatherBalletShipping, and I think the one bewtween Ash's Sceptile and May's Blaziken is called FireGrassShipping, correct me if I'm wrong. I have two OC sort of Characters in here, as well as it also being highly focused on the journey. Probably should've mentioned that before. It is a journey, unlike no other! Well, except for Ash's rivals... -.-;
    Anyway, Enjoy!

    Ages
    Ash- 16
    May- 15
    Hilbert/Josh- 17
    Cilan- 20
    Max- 14
    Dawn - 14

    After Ash finally won a league in Unova, he travelled around each region again. He won all the leagues he participated in, and now he has been given the challenge to find and defeat each Elite Four member of each region, and then challenge their champion. His new rival, Max, is racing him for this goal. Though much younger than Ash, he is not to be underestimated. Ash has asked two of his previous travelling companions, Hilbert and May, to travel with him again, and Max became good friends with Cilan upon meeting him, and is travelling with him and one of his friends from when he first travelled Hoenn, Dawn. We join Ash on his first day of his new adventure.

    "Hey, Pikachu, you ready for a new adventure?" Ash asked his old buddy.
    "Pika Pi! (Of course, Ash!)" Pikachu said.
    "Great! Let's go down and say bye to Mum and hi to May, then we'll meet Josh at Viridian."
    The electric mouse jumped onto his trainer's shoulder, and Ash ran downstairs to say bye to his mother.
    "Ash, look after yourself on this journey. I know you've been on lots of other journeys, but be careful, dear." his mother told him fondly.
    "I know. Anyway, I've got my friends. Seeya, mum!" he hugged his mum, then left the house.
    "I said I'd meet May at the entrance to Route 1, she should be here soon enough." Ash said to Pikachu.
    "Pikachu. Pikachu, pi, pi, pi? (I know. Can I play with Zoe, please, please, please?)" Pikachu asked.
    "Sure. Come on out Zoe!" Ash said, opening a pokeball. A small, black and blue fox came out in a shower of sparkles. The shiny Zorua opened its eyes.
    "It's good to be back out in the sunshine!" Zoe said happily, telepathically speaking with Ash and Pikachu.
    "Pika pi? (Wanna play for a bit?)" Pikachu asked Zoe.
    "Sure, why not?"
    Ash chuckled to himself as he watched the Pokemon play. He looked down the street, but there was still no-one there. He dialled a number into his X-Transceiver and waited for May to pick up.
    "Hey Ash. Sorry I'm running late, the ferry encountered some migrating Wailord. I'm almost there now." May said, her face popping up on the screen.
    "It's okay, shall I meet you at the docks?" Ash asked.
    "Alright then, see you there!"
    "Bye!" Ash said, as May cut off at the other end. He had a warm feeling inside that he would be seeing May again, but he didn't know why.
    "Hey guys, come on! We're meeting May at the harbour instead!"
    "Chu. (Alright.)"
    "Race you down to the harbour?" Zoe asked.
    "Pika! (Sure!)"
    The two Pokemon raced ahead, leaving Ash behind.
    "Hey wait for mee!" the teenager said, running after his Pokemon.

    --------

    "I'm going to go and see Ash again, guys! We're going on a brand new adventure with him and his Pokemon!" May said to the Pokemon she had brought with her. Skitty, Glaceon, and Blaziken cheered, looking forward to seeing Ash's Pokemon again. Munchlax was eating a cake.
    "Munchlax! Where did you get that cake?" May said. Munchlax finished it off.
    "Muunchlax. Munch munch... (I was huungry. It was just left out in the cafe...)" it replied.
    May sweat-dropped. "You need to stop stealing food. C'mon guys, let's go." she returned her Pokemon, except for Glaceon, who walked next to May.
    "Oh, do you want to see Pikachu? I should have known." May said to her pokemon, as they walked out of the cabin she'd been staying in. The ferry was just docking, and she looked around the harbour, hoping Ash would be here to greet her off the ship. She saw his jet black hair first, bobbing along in the crowd. Pikachu and Zoe were on his shoulder, Zoe occasionally looking different. She transformed into Pikachu, and span the real one around with her. May walked down the gangplank, a smile on her face.
    "Hey Ash," she said, greeting her best friend. "How're you doing?"
    "Hi May. I'm fine thanks. And you?" the boy said turning and grinning.
    "Great! How are you two, Pikachu and Zoe?"
    "Pika Pi! Chu Pika! Pikachu, Pi. (I'm great, thanks! Good to see you! Translate, please, Zoe.)"
    "Pikachu says he great and it's good to see you. I'm fine, too!" Zoe said.
    "Hey, we- what's that?" Ash started. He had been cut off by his ringing X-Transceiver. "Oh, it's Josh. Hi Josh!"
    Josh's face came up on screen.
    "Hi Ash, I've got some good news. You and Mai-"
    "It's May." the girl butted in, annoyed.
    "Sorry. You and May should get over to Viridian quickly, because Lorelei is staying here for today and tomorrow!"
    "Aargh! Only a day! We're on our way! Seeya Josh!"
    "Wait, before you go, May might be interested in a contest that'll be happening. Lorelei is going to be on the judging panel, and the contest is tomorrow."
    "Sure, that sounds cool," Ash said, agitated. "We should go now Josh."
    "Alright then, see you."
    The X-Transceiver cut off, and May looked excited at the fact there would be a contest.
    "So, that was Josh? I thought you said he was called Hilbert." May said.
    "He is, but he absolutely hates that name. So me and Iris and Cilan called him by his middle name." Ash replied. "Come on, let's go."
    While this exchange was going on, Glaceon greeted Pikachu.
    "Glace! Eon! (Pikachu! Good to see you!)"
    "Pika pikachu! (You too Glaceon!)"
    The pokemon nuzzled their foreheads together in greeting.
    "Who is this, Pikachu?" Zoe asked.
    "Pi, Pikachu, Pika pi. (This is Glaceon, one of my best friends. I travelled with her in Hoenn.)"
    "Okay. Nice to meet you, Glaceon. I'm Zoe, one of Ash's pokemon."
    "Glaceon? Glace, glaceon. (How come you can talk? Anyway, it's nice to meet you too.)
    "This is just telepathy. I hear Espeons can do it too, so I could have shown you how if you'd evolved into Espeon."
    "Glaceon Glaceon, Glaceon. (I contemplated evolving into Espeon, but when the oppurtunity to evolve into a Glaceon came, I took it.)"
    "Pika Pikachu. (Good to see you're becoming friends!)" Pikachu said.
    "Hey guys, come on! Lorelei is in Viridian, we don't have much time! Let's go!" Ash said to the pokemon. "Zoe, return!"
    "See you later," Zoe said, as she let the red beam envelope her.
    "Pikachu, come on buddy." Ash said, holding his arm out for the electric mouse.
    "Pika, chu! (Coming, Ash!)"
    "Glaceon, do you want to go back in your Pokeball?" May asked her pokemon. The ice fox shook her head, signalling she wanted to walk with Pikachu.
    "Well, we can't wait much longer, let's go! We have to get to Viridian!"
    The two teenagers rushed through Pallet, dusk beginning to fall. Their silhouettes were easily visible on their way to Viridian City ~

    That was the first chapter, hope you enjoyed it! I'll try and get something shippy going on in the next chapter, but I can't say for sure.
    Last edited by pokemonpal7; 8th May 2012 at 05:26 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Ash's New Goal

    Ash's New Goal

    It's probably a bad thing that:
    a) I haven't posted for ages.
    b) No-one has any comments.
    *sigh* Oh well, maybe I'll get some critique this time. Also, I want to know if you think I jumped into the stuff below too early. Well, what's done is done.

    "Morning May. We need to get into Viridian quickly now, your contest is going to be taking competitors. I know how much contests mean to you." Ash said, as the girl walked out of her tent.
    If only you knew how much more you meant to me... she thought.
    "Okay then, lets get packed up." May replied.
    "Nah, we can leave them here. Gallade, come on out!" Ash said. "Can you tidy up our stuff, and teleport back to us in Viridian?"
    "Yes, master." (A/N I assume Gallade has telepathy, right?) Gallade said.
    "Gallade, I told you not to call me that! You're my friend, not my servant!" Ash said heatedly.
    "Wow, Ash, how long have you had Gallade?" May said, watching as the pokemon began to telekinetically tidy up.
    "I caught him as a Ralts when I did my solo run through Hoenn again. He's been a useful addition to my team, and an amazing fighter. He usually practices his sword handling skills with Sceptile. Anyway, we should get going to Viridian now."
    The black-haired boy started walking back to the road, but May grabbed his arm. She gathered up her courage to say this...
    "What's up May? Why are you holding my arm?" Ash asked.
    "It's just... Before we start travelling with someone else again... I want to tell you something." the brunette replied.
    Ash turned, puzzled. "Okay, what?"
    "I like you Ash. I like you a lot."
    "Well, duh, we're friends, right?" Ash said, being his usually dense self. And yet... he figured he might know what she was talking about. The warm feeling he had felt in his stomach he'd felt yesterday hadn't been the curry his mum had made for tea, and know he knew why it was so familiar. He loved her!
    "No, Ash. I don't mean it... Like this!" The girl pulled Ash closer to her and kissed him. Ash's eyes opened in shock and he gasped slightly. May pulled away. "I- I love you! You taught me how to be a trainer! You helped me get through the bad times in my career as a co-ordinator, and you were always there for me. My respect for you only grew when you saved me and Manaphy and Pikachu in the Temple of the Sea..." May said. She had let go of Ash's arm now, and the trainer looked shocked. May tried to look him in the eye, but she dropped her gaze to the floor. The boy was speechless, and he knew words wouldn't be able to describe how he felt.
    Pikachu and Glaceon were gazing at the trainers, while Gallade continued to pack away. Pikachu looked as gobsmacked as its trainer, while Glaceon sat there, smiling.
    "Glaceon. (I was hoping this would happen.)" she murmured.
    "Pi? Chu? (Huh? Why?)" the mouse replied.
    "Glaceon Glace. Eon. (Because she always goes on about him. Simple.)"
    "Pi... (Girls...)" Pikachu said to himself, sweatdropping.
    "May... Wow. For all words could say, I couldn't describe the feelings I'm getting right now. You know, I think I love you too." Ash said, (unusually) thoughtfully. "In fact..."
    The boy smiled warmly, and pulled May close, similar as she had done to him, and kissed her passionately. May kissed back, enjoying this moment of pure bliss. They broke apart, and looked deep into each other's eyes.
    "May. I love you."
    "Oh, Ash. I love you too."

    Nah, I made Ash too sensitive at the end. Too not-dense. I may re-write this chapter, but for now, I expect mixed reviews. Also, this isn't the end.

  3. #3
    Registered User beastmode953's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ash's New Goal

    Yeeeah boiiiii another advanceshipping fic I though i was the only one! This really brings back nostalgia for me. Lack of emotion and description and bunched up sentences. I didn't feel the emotion much and an author I really looked up to always told me that there should always be a balance between dialogue and description. Dialogue so readers don't get bored and description to help readers picture everything. Dobt know if that made sense but ill be looking forward to your growth. We need more advanceshippers here.

  4. #4
    "SIGMA 5" italia germania's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ash's New Goal

    Hoorah man! another advance shipper story that actually seems good, however, the romancing take place a little too fast for MY taste. This is however YOUR story

    note the capitalized words

    Italia Germania
    "All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers." Francois Fenelon

  5. #5
    "SIGMA 5" italia germania's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ash's New Goal

    Also, who is JOSH? The intro said HILBERT and MAY, and nothing on JOSH.
    "All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers." Francois Fenelon

  6. #6
    Like a sir. The Shiny Gengar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ash's New Goal

    Well, here I am, As promised.

    Yeah, you were right at the end, Ash went all OOC and stuff, it was weird.

    It was a bit lacking in development, and it seemes to be almost all talking, not to meantion it's rushed...

    But hey, you're starting off, I made all those mistakes when I started writing. If you focus on improving and take people's advice, you'll go far. :) I'll be waiting for the next chapter.

    Oh, and I noticed your grammar seemed pretty good, so thumbs up for that.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Ash's New Goal

    Wow. Lots of replies while I was gone. Yay! @italia germania I must've forgotten to mention that here. Hilbert hates his name, so he uses his middle name. I did kind of rush it in the end, as I was trying to get it out. Thanks for your critique, beast mode and shiny Gengar. Also, new halter is on it's way.

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