22nd February 2009, 09:01 PM #1
The Adventures of Umbreon Gal
Alright guys, this is my first fan fiction. Constructive criticism is wanted!
Episode 1: A Hero is Born
Hey everyone! This is Caitlin Ketchum, the youngest daughter of Ash and Misty Ketchum. I live in Pallet Town with my parents, brother, sister, and Dad’s old Pikachu. I’m a third grade student at the Viridian City Pokemon Academy. However, I’m not your average student of Pokemon. I’m practically a Pokemon myself! Let me explain. It happened a few months ago during summer vacation.
(flashback, four months ago)
My friends, Vicky and Joey, and I were taking a little day trip to Cinnibar Island with my parents. We were relaxing on the beach when Vicky had a bright idea.
“Hey guys, instead of playing on a boring old each, how about we go sneak into the lab?” she suggested. Yeah, Vicky’s the mischievous one.
“I don’t know Vicky. We can get in big trouble,” Joey replied. Like myself, Joey tries his best to stay out of trouble.
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Vicky said, “much more exciting than sand and water.”
I finally gave in. “Okay, why not? Just a quick peek and we’ll be done.” I said with a mischievous smile.
So with that, we snuck away from the beach and into the Cinnibar labs. We were amazed by all the machines and computers. I’m guessing all the scientists were upstairs having lunch or something, because no one was there. We were running around like crazy and checking out anything that looked interesting. One thing that really caught our eyes was the teleporter machines. Soon enough, Vicky had another crazy idea.
“Caitlin, I triple dog dare you to go into the teleporter. I’ll push all the buttons and see what happens.”
“Vicky, you must be really crazy.” Joey replied. “You don’t know what could happen to her in there!”
“Joey, you worry too much,” I told him. “What’s the worst that could happen?” Yeah, I was feeling really mischievous that day.
I stepped into the machine as Vicky started pressing every button. With a big flash of white light, I walked out of the other side of the contraption, but I definitely wasn’t myself. I was an Umbreon with the wings of a Flygon!
“Whoa, is that really you Caitlin?” Vicky asked with surprise in her voice.
“Of course it’s me. Who else did you expect, Arceus?” I said.
“I knew something like this was going to happen!” Joey exclaimed. “We have to find a way to reverse this!”
We tried everything we could, but there was nothing we could do. I forever became part Pokemon!
“Okay. Uh, can you turn yourself back into a human?” Vicky asked me.
“I don’t know. I’ll try.” I said.
I tried my best to focus myself into thinking human thoughts. I transformed back into a human without much effort. Then, I had a crazy idea of my own.
“Hey guys, this isn’t all bad. Maybe with my Pokemon powers I can fight crime as a superhero!” I said as we left the lab.
“It’ll take a lot of time to learn about your powers.” Joey told me. “You’ll have to hide this from your parents too.”
“I’m willing to take the risk!” I said positively.
Ever since then, my life changed completely. Whenever I see something going wrong, I’ll spring into action. But, I still have a lot to learn if I want to be a super strong crime fighter!
22nd February 2009, 09:18 PM #2
Re: The Adventures of Umbreon Gal
Could be good, but you need more build up. The events happen to fast.