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Thread: The Adventures of Quilava

  1. #1
    Registered User Typhloterra's Avatar
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    Default The Adventures of Quilava

    I'm fairly new to Bulbagarden and haven't posted a bunch. Anyways, I wrote this a while ago and I thought I'd post it here and see how much people liked it. If people seem to enjoy it, then I'll continue it, but if not, then there's no point in continuing. Hope you guys like it.

    Prologue


    1: Team Magma
    http://i1208.photobucket.com/albums/cc365/Ljbolser412/r9h7wn.png
    Banner made by me.
    Credit for my avatar goes to LunGhost.

  2. #2
    I feel so much spring... Cabaret's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Adventures of Quilava

    Ah, the first story. Every writer dreads reviews, don't they? Especially when it's on something as delicate as your first fic.

    Well I must say you've got an excellent start to a solid fic. I especially liked your opening prologue. I'll admit that the switching of perspectives and settings in the first chapter is a little bit difficult to set the tone with, but you've nearly accomplished it.

    Do not stop writing just because people might respond coldly! This isn't for us, this is for you, the writer. We give nothing but added motivation as readers. We shouldn't be all the story is for.

    Interested into seeing what you have up your sleeve,

    Cabaret

  3. #3
    East Unova Resident SuperTrainStationH's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Adventures of Quilava

    While everything was well written, going from the prolog, and then to the preface at the beginning of Chapter 1, and then to Chapter 1 proper with Danny and Typhlo confronting Magma grunts, it was a bit hard for me to follow.

    I'm sure that once the story catches up to the scenes and characters the prolog and preface concern, things will make much more sense.

    I can't know if you included these elements before the story proper starts just to show that you have some very interesting situations which the titular Quilava will be put in sooner or later, but I surely would like to see them if you ever write more.

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